Facebook parenting , teens and tough love

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They say teenagers are full of angst. There is a saying that “adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.” With the advent of Facebook, teens get to use the wall to rant. Well, my kids were not young teens when Facebook and other social media sites like Twitter and Plurk came arrived sometime 2007. I do recall parenting teens were the most turbulent years that became more complicated by the death of my precious son. The good news is this too shall pass.

Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

So I came across this super viral youtube with 28,245,691 hits and 233,246 comments. The video called “Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen” where the father shares the wall post of her daughter who” thought it would be funny/rebellious/cool to post on her Facebook wall just how upset she was and how unfair her life here is; how we work her too hard with chores, never pay her for chores, and just in general make her life difficult.”

Watch the video till the end to see father’s tough love.

I nodded as he lectured on his no-nonsense approach on dealing with his daughter’s complaints. After all, parents are in the best position to understand their children’s peculiarities. I agree children need to learn responsibility now so that they know that they can rely on themselves when they leave home. Social Media may be the downfall of the current generation if our children do not know how to use it responsibly. It is also important for parents in setting hard rules and consequences about using social media. Watching intently with my husband, we agreed setting limits is needed for teenagers. The shocker was the last part when he shot her daughter’s laptop. I also felt that it is already bad enough when an insolent teen airs their dirty laundry, in public. But does that exempt an adult just to make his point?

Oh well, to each their own parenting style.

I noted there were over 233,246 comments and wondered how others thought.

@MrsAirman79 seemed to share the same opinion as mine, “I was with him on this one till he shot her laptop. lets just hope the daughter doesn’t find his gun.”

Another understood “he was trying to punish her and everything, but I just re-watched this and it’s quite obvious he’s overreacting a little more than he should be… I mean him shooting her laptop was a complete waste of money and him saying she should get off her “lazy ass” was stooping to her level, which you shouldn’t do with teenagers. He also said she’s 15 and frankly that’s the age for teens to be a little melodramatic..”

Others that disagreed said the following:

  • “humiliating your daughter by posting family business online because she posted family business on facebook. a facebook post last like 10 seconds, this could last her whole life. nice parenting.”
  • “Yeah, I get that she needs to be disciplined for disrespecting the parents, but escalating the situation with this video and laptop thing are not productive ways to teach her the intended lesson.”
  • “Kid sounds bratty as hell but I think this is kind of an immature way to respond to…immaturity.”
  • You are an asshole, you set a good example for your daughter alright… better make sure that 45 is hidden.

Others agreed with the father’s tough love.

Someone who lived outside the USA commented that “This is the problem with American-washed kids. If it were to happen overseas, they get an ass whooping”.

” no…this wont ruin her life. She’s young and very disrespectful to the people that raise her and gave her everything she has. She needs to learn to respect”

One pointed out that she “really don’t know who I should side with”.

What the teens thought about tough love

Some of the interesting comments from the youtube video came from young teens. A teen addressed “all those people saying he’s a awful parent, I’m in my teens and I have more responsibilities then her and I complain but I do it. I don’t get paid for them because I have a iPod, camera, and a nook, and the only way I will get a laptop is if I don’t get anything else for Christmas. Her dad said he spent like 150 or so dollars on her laptop the day before, then what dose he get a ungrateful daughter, she deserved every bullet in that laptop.”

Let me share some comments from teens:

  • I’m 13 and you’ve made me realize that I have it way too easy in life. My mom busts her ass off every day and I really should give her a hand around the house a bit more. Thank you for enlightening me
  • If he were my dad I’d get the hint, stop being selfish and take a look around and realize how good my life was. Some adults dont have computers, or a nice house with a guest room. good shooting sir.
  • I am impressed and I applaud his effort. I sure hope it worked on his daughter, she had it coming! Boy am I glad that my parents didn’t take it to this extreme though because i know i was bratty too
  • i’m with this guy if a kid, teen who ever does that, their parents have the right to do that. But if my dad found out i did this which i will never do he would probably run it over in his truck.
  • This is so epic! Even now being 21, my mom would never stand for me to talk like that. I applaud you sir! You sir are awesome, If I could I would buy you a drink!
  • I’m 16 and I say good for you man, I can’t believe how disrespectful some of my classmates are to their parents and stuff. They took care of you since birth, chores are the least you could do for them
  • Im still a kid,but Half of you who disagreed with this aren’t even parents.Its HIS daughter HE raises her how HE feels.For all of the poorly raised adults out there you can agree hes doing her a favor
  • Congratulations for doing what needed to be done to get the point across. Honestly, I wish some of my friends had their phones/computers destroyed.
  • you forget that if these kids had any sense that they would know what’s right and it is also not necessarily the parenting that is this problem I know kids who have parents that are the nicest people you ever met but the kid can be as awful as hell and really disrespectful to the ones that love them and care for them
  • the daughter should appreciate what her parents do for her. this is coming from a TEENAGER.
    way to go dad!
    I would never disrespect my parents like that…
  • This is why disrespectful people shouldn’t be allowed on the Internet. They could end up with a laptop full of bullets;)

Some gave their own parental advice that respect begets respect, that “the only way to get respect from those around him is only by carrying a gun. PRETTY SAD.”

Another comment exclaimed “Wow in front of the world!!!!!!  You could have done it without involving the Millions. Shoot the laptop yes. But dont humiliate your child in front of the world, Not good parenting skills!! .”

Others also felt that one didn’t need to shoot a laptop which to me is crazy. A few felt that the laptop should have been given “to a school or deserving kid who can’t afford it. Kinda scary to just whip out a gun like that but I guess thats America for you! Hope this got the result you wanted…”

Parenting Teens

Parenting is a hard work. I met challenges when my teens were growing up . It’s tempting to respond with anger. How I wished I were more informed then? Sometimes teens can’t help acting insolent or being rebellious. Scientific evidence shows their frontal lobes — are not fully connected. Really. But the good news is the frontal lobe gets to fully develop in their mid-twenties.

These are the best years to be with my girls and I cherish it. Take stock When you find yourself wondering, like all parents of teenagers, “What were you thinking?” Just make sure children know their boundaries when they are young children.

Simple rules such as establish priorities, set standards, maintain family routines and stay connected. There should be consequences for breaking rules, such as taking a laptop away or disconnecting the Internet.

Like they say the troubles of adolescence eventually all go away – it’s just like a really long, bad cold.

Source: infographs.net via Noem on Pinterest

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1389 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.