Once upon my early motherhood days, I often deprived myself of nurturing because I found it silly and self-indulgent. Of course, I didn’t know that nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent. Years later , after a million mistakes with myself and family members, I found out that nurturing is about how we show love for ourselves. I needed a loving relationship with myself that works so I can have a loving relationship with others that work.
I am not where I am today if I didn’t learn to nurture myself. I wouldn’t have a second wind in my marriage if I didn’t have a loving relationship with myself first. How do I nurture myself?
1. When I am hurt, I ask myself what I need to help myself feel better.
2. When I feel alone, I reach out to someone safe like my sister, my best friend. Without feeling that I am a burden, I allow my sister to be there for me.
3. I rest when I’m tired, eat when I’m famished, have fun when my spirits need a lift.
4. I give myself gifts… a trip to my favorite beauty salon, a massage at the spa, a new gadget, a new dress.
5. It means having a long hot bath or sauna to forget about my problems for a few moments in time.
6. It means being gentle with myself if I make a slip. Instead of being angry with myself, I beat myself with a feather instead of a whip. I am also open to the nurturing that others have to offer to me.
I do all these with the understanding that it will not make me lazy, spoiled , self-centered or narcissitic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships. We learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.
Today, I nurtured myself. I am also open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.
1. Attending Japanese cooking lessons
2. Pampering myself at the Spa and treating my family to dinner .
