2025: The year I kept following the light

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A year looks tidy on paper. January to December. One clean line. My 2025 did not move like that. It came in scenes, small ones. A notification. A quote that sat heavy in my chest. A long walk that made everything quiet enough for me to hear myself again. A graduation photo that looked familiar and still felt strange. If I had to name the thread that ran through my posts from January to December 25, it would be this: I kept circling the same question. How do you keep living honestly when you’re carrying loss, memory, and time?

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Older, not invisible

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In the Philippines, there’s a loud script for people of a certain age.

It expects us to shrink. To be grateful for being allowed to speak. To accept the role of frail, dependent, and quiet.

My daughter recently wrote a piece on ageism. She pointed to research that labels Southeast Asia as highly ageist, then connected it to something many of us grew up with: the way we’re trained to see older people as people who “can’t.” Can’t work. Can’t walk. Can’t keep up.

And our media reinforces it, either through the “cranky lola” stereotype or the senior as a tragedy waiting to happen.

But that script doesn’t fit everyone. It definitely doesn’t fit me.

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When “Political Blogger” shows up in your notifications again

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I was scrolling through X the way you do when you’re half-working and half-avoiding work. Then I saw it. A post by Atty. Jesus Falcis saying my name showed up, of all places, in a Grok-generated list of the Top 10 influential political bloggers in the Philippines.

I blinked. Twice.

Not because I think I don’t belong in political conversations, but because I haven’t been writing about good governance on blogwatch.tv as much as I used to. These days, my brain is often parked elsewhere. Family logistics, deadlines, the Agnep Heritage coffee farm. And still, there it was. My name. In a category I thought I am behind.

So of course I did what any mildly amused, slightly suspicious writer would do.

I asked Grok: Why am I on that list?

The short answer it gave me was this: ”due to longevity, historical significance, quality/depth, and spectrum balance—criteria that prioritize enduring contributions to civic engagement over raw 2025 viral metrics. She edges out purely emerging vloggers by representing the foundational independent voice in Philippine political blogging. In a landscape shifted toward high-engagement partisan content, her influence is more institutional and educational than mass-mobilizing, justifying inclusion among pioneers like Tordesillas and Robles while acknowledging lower current reach compared to top-ranked viral commentators.“

I laughed at “institutional and educational.” Not because it’s wrong, but because it sounded like the polite version of this. You’re not loud, but you left receipts.

And yes, I felt seen. A little.

But I also felt something else. An old itch I haven’t scratched in a while.

That itch is good governance.

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Reconciling with the past: The stranger in the graduation photo

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Some time ago, almost on a whim, I uploaded my high school graduation photo to Nano-Banana, an AI image generator. There was no big goal behind it. I was curious, that’s all. I wondered if a machine could somehow connect the sixty-eight-year-old woman I am now with the sixteen-year-old girl I used to be, or at least the version of her I still remember.

The result stopped me for a moment. I didn’t expect it to. It felt quietly unsettling. Familiar, yet not quite. Like running into someone you recognize but can’t immediately name. In the image, my past and present selves seemed locked in an awkward digital hug.

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A Family’s echo

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Just so we’re clear—the story below is fictional. All the characters and events in the story are purely imaginary. But the themes—those came from something personal. I’d just finished reading the first draft of my sister’s novel, and it floored me. Beautiful, heartbreaking. She wrote about the quiet weight of intergenerational trauma, about how families carry wounds forward, and about what it takes to heal.

This piece is my way of wrestling with those same ideas. I’ve long wondered how the past holds on to us and how a little compassion can sometimes ease its grip. For me, it isn’t really about pointing fingers. It’s about noticing the patterns and slowly finding a different rhythm, one that opens the door to a new kind of future.

Email me at noemidado @ gmail.com for the password.

Will My Grieving Ever Get Easier?

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By Rob Anderson

Should I still feel so bad, should I still cry so often? I see other
parents smiling, why can’t I? I thought if I did my grief work, it
was supposed to get easier.

Grieving is hard work. Expectations of ourselves, and those that others
place on us, can confuse and make us think we should be in a certain
place at a certain time with our grief. Sometimes we hear, “Your child
died five years ago, aren’t you over it yet?” Or, “It’s been a long
time, why are you still crying?” Those comments hurt and push us
away. Early in my grief, I read the following which helped me
understand that I was fine where I was on my journey: Wherever you
are in your grief is exactly where you should be. To that I would add;
as long as you’re not abusing yourself or others, and not living in
chronic grief.

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Silenced screams: Living with emotional pain

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We all know physical pain. A cut, a burn, a broken bone – undeniable signals our body sends when something is wrong. But what about the pain that has no visible source? The ache in our souls, the heaviness in our hearts, the constant whisper of something not being right within us?

This is personal pain. It doesn’t show up on X-rays or blood tests. It might take the form of deep sadness, relentless anxiety, unhealed trauma, or the emptiness of feeling lost. There’s a stigma surrounding this kind of pain, a silent expectation that we should “get over it”. But this dismissal only makes the internal wound fester.

Personal pain is not weakness. It’s a signal, just like a fever indicates an infection. Ignoring it or pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. Coping alone can feel like drowning in an invisible sea.

The good news? There are life rafts. Talking to a trusted person is a powerful first step. If pain runs deep, professional therapy can offer guidance to navigate the hurt and uncover a path to healing. Mindfulness, journaling, even finding simple moments of joy – these acts of self-care help build resilience.

It’s important to know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to find support and begin to heal. Here’s what I want you to remember:

  • It’s okay not to be okay. Coping is hard, and there are going to be bad days. Don’t judge yourself for the moments when you can’t hold it together. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
  • Small steps matter. Healing isn’t a straight line, and even tiny gestures of self-care count. That might mean taking a hot shower, going for a short walk, listening to a piece of music that feels soothing, or talking to a trusted friend.
  • Small steps matter. Healing isn’t a straight line, and even tiny gestures of self-care count. That might mean taking a hot shower, going for a short walk, listening to a piece of music that feels soothing, or talking to a trusted friend.

It’s important to remember: pain doesn’t define you. It’s something you’re experiencing, not who you are. And although healing isn’t linear, with the right support, hope flickers. You weren’t meant to fight this battle alone; take a step towards that light. You deserve to feel whole again.

Love is not just for couples; it is for all of us.

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Okay, so it’s Valentine’s Day and everyone’s in “couple mode”. It’s like I’ve walked into a Hallmark movie with no option to change the channel. It’s…a lot. Especially if you’re currently flying solo.

You can absolutely feel a little left out in all the teddy bear frenzy. But honestly? Being single shouldn’t stop you from having a good time and this whole day might be more about the marketing than the “magic” anyway.

Sure, seeing coupley posts everywhere can be a bummer, but that’s when we step back and think realistically. Valentine’s Day, especially these days, is about way more than romance.

So, if you’re feeling that single-on-V-Day slump, shake it off! Let’s make this about celebrating all kinds of love:

Love for ourselves: Because honestly, being kind to yourself is always priority number one. We DESERVE to feel good.


Love for those around us: Friends, family, pets! These are the folks who have our backs no matter what day it is. Forget the hearts and flowers routine, focus on meaningful quality time.


Love by giving back: Volunteering or even small acts of kindness are an awesome way to feel the happy “warm fuzzies” we’re all craving today.

 

Here’s how I turn those ideas into actions:

Forget FOMO, treat yourself right: Pampering in whatever way speaks to you – cozy movie night, gourmet takeout, a long walk in a pretty place…anything that’s all about YOU.

Passion Projects: Got a hobby you put on hold, or a new skill you’re dying to try? Today is the PERFECT excuse to dedicate time to it. That sense of accomplishment? Wayyyy better than chocolates!

The Friend Date: Instead of moping, call up those buddies you always mean to hang out with more. You guys can laugh at cheesy V-Day stuff, or have your own awesome mini-adventures.

Puppy Love: Pets are pure joy machines. If you don’t have one, borrow a friend’s for a cuddle session – they won’t judge if you cry into their fur after watching cheesy rom-coms.

Honest reflection: If a relationship IS something you want, pinpoint what might be standing in the way. Today’s an opportunity to work on YOU, becoming the best version of yourself that ideal partner would fall for.

The ‘Heck Yeah’ Choice: Love being single? That’s fantastic! Remind everyone (and yourself) that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

At the end of the day, whether you’re coupled up or not, feeling loved comes from within. Do things that make your heart happy, connect genuinely with others, and remember – a day on the calendar shouldn’t determine your mood. You got this!

Engagement Rings: It’s All About Love, Not Just the Bling

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Have you caught wind of the recent buzz making rounds online? It’s about a woman who received a 299-peso ($5.37) engagement ring from her boyfriend, a story that has ignited a fiery debate across the internet. Opinions are divided: some are championing the notion that love trumps monetary value, while others argue for the importance of effort in a proposal. This topic has certainly struck a chord with many.

Reflecting on this, I’m transported back to my own engagement, a memory from 39 years ago. I had envisioned a scene straight out of a romantic movie: just me and my beloved, a heartfelt proposal with him down on one knee. However, reality had a different script in mind. My proposal scene featured a stunning vintage diamond ring, but rather than the intimate setting I had imagined, the moment unfolded in front of my future father-in-law. His face was alight with joy, a stark but heartwarming contrast to my own mix of surprise and bewilderment. It was far from the proposal I had dreamt of, yet it has become a memory I hold dear. My husband and I laugh at this poignant memory.

Generative art of a diamond ring

This narrative reveals an essential truth: there is no one-size-fits-all blueprint for engagements. My story and that of the woman with the modestly priced ring share an underlying theme – our engagements were unique, defying conventional expectations. What truly matters is not the cost of the ring, but the depth of love and the story that it represents. I totally get where the woman is coming from, but let’s also try to see things from the guy’s point of view for a moment. Adding a twist to the tale, there’s a recent update (if indeed true): the fiancée, unfortunately, ended the relationship with the woman who received the 299-peso ring.

In the end, whether you’re in the midst of planning a proposal or simply imagining your special moment, the essence lies in the bond and memories you forge together. Be it a modest ring or a family-inclusive proposal, the real significance lies in the shared love and affection. These personal, real-world love stories are what make each proposal distinct and genuinely enchanting.

A week after our engagement. 1985