Just so we’re clear—the story below is fictional. All the characters and events in the story are purely imaginary. But the themes—those came from something personal. I’d just finished reading the first draft of my sister’s novel, and it floored me. Beautiful, heartbreaking. She wrote about the quiet weight of intergenerational trauma, about how families carry wounds forward, and about what it takes to heal.
This piece is my way of wrestling with those same ideas. I’ve long wondered how the past holds on to us and how a little compassion can sometimes ease its grip. For me, it isn’t really about pointing fingers. It’s about noticing the patterns and slowly finding a different rhythm, one that opens the door to a new kind of future.
Email me at noemidado @ gmail.com for the password.
Should I still feel so bad, should I still cry so often? I see other parents smiling, why can’t I? I thought if I did my grief work, it was supposed to get easier.
Grieving is hard work. Expectations of ourselves, and those that others place on us, can confuse and make us think we should be in a certain place at a certain time with our grief. Sometimes we hear, “Your child died five years ago, aren’t you over it yet?” Or, “It’s been a long time, why are you still crying?” Those comments hurt and push us away. Early in my grief, I read the following which helped me understand that I was fine where I was on my journey: Wherever you are in your grief is exactly where you should be. To that I would add; as long as you’re not abusing yourself or others, and not living in chronic grief.
We all know physical pain. A cut, a burn, a broken bone – undeniable signals our body sends when something is wrong. But what about the pain that has no visible source? The ache in our souls, the heaviness in our hearts, the constant whisper of something not being right within us?
This is personal pain. It doesn’t show up on X-rays or blood tests. It might take the form of deep sadness, relentless anxiety, unhealed trauma, or the emptiness of feeling lost. There’s a stigma surrounding this kind of pain, a silent expectation that we should “get over it”. But this dismissal only makes the internal wound fester.
Personal pain is not weakness. It’s a signal, just like a fever indicates an infection. Ignoring it or pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. Coping alone can feel like drowning in an invisible sea.
The good news? There are life rafts. Talking to a trusted person is a powerful first step. If pain runs deep, professional therapy can offer guidance to navigate the hurt and uncover a path to healing. Mindfulness, journaling, even finding simple moments of joy – these acts of self-care help build resilience.
It’s important to know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to find support and begin to heal. Here’s what I want you to remember:
It’s okay not to be okay. Coping is hard, and there are going to be bad days. Don’t judge yourself for the moments when you can’t hold it together. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
Small steps matter. Healing isn’t a straight line, and even tiny gestures of self-care count. That might mean taking a hot shower, going for a short walk, listening to a piece of music that feels soothing, or talking to a trusted friend.
Small steps matter. Healing isn’t a straight line, and even tiny gestures of self-care count. That might mean taking a hot shower, going for a short walk, listening to a piece of music that feels soothing, or talking to a trusted friend.
It’s important to remember: pain doesn’t define you. It’s something you’re experiencing, not who you are. And although healing isn’t linear, with the right support, hope flickers. You weren’t meant to fight this battle alone; take a step towards that light. You deserve to feel whole again.
Okay, so it’s Valentine’s Day and everyone’s in “couple mode”. It’s like I’ve walked into a Hallmark movie with no option to change the channel. It’s…a lot. Especially if you’re currently flying solo.
You can absolutely feel a little left out in all the teddy bear frenzy. But honestly? Being single shouldn’t stop you from having a good time and this whole day might be more about the marketing than the “magic” anyway.
Sure, seeing coupley posts everywhere can be a bummer, but that’s when we step back and think realistically. Valentine’s Day, especially these days, is about way more than romance.
So, if you’re feeling that single-on-V-Day slump, shake it off! Let’s make this about celebrating all kinds of love:
Love for ourselves: Because honestly, being kind to yourself is always priority number one. We DESERVE to feel good.
Love for those around us: Friends, family, pets! These are the folks who have our backs no matter what day it is. Forget the hearts and flowers routine, focus on meaningful quality time.
Love by giving back: Volunteering or even small acts of kindness are an awesome way to feel the happy “warm fuzzies” we’re all craving today.
Here’s how I turn those ideas into actions:
Forget FOMO, treat yourself right: Pampering in whatever way speaks to you – cozy movie night, gourmet takeout, a long walk in a pretty place…anything that’s all about YOU.
Passion Projects: Got a hobby you put on hold, or a new skill you’re dying to try? Today is the PERFECT excuse to dedicate time to it. That sense of accomplishment? Wayyyy better than chocolates!
The Friend Date: Instead of moping, call up those buddies you always mean to hang out with more. You guys can laugh at cheesy V-Day stuff, or have your own awesome mini-adventures.
Puppy Love: Pets are pure joy machines. If you don’t have one, borrow a friend’s for a cuddle session – they won’t judge if you cry into their fur after watching cheesy rom-coms.
Honest reflection: If a relationship IS something you want, pinpoint what might be standing in the way. Today’s an opportunity to work on YOU, becoming the best version of yourself that ideal partner would fall for.
The ‘Heck Yeah’ Choice: Love being single? That’s fantastic! Remind everyone (and yourself) that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
At the end of the day, whether you’re coupled up or not, feeling loved comes from within. Do things that make your heart happy, connect genuinely with others, and remember – a day on the calendar shouldn’t determine your mood. You got this!
Have you caught wind of the recent buzz making rounds online? It’s about a woman who received a 299-peso ($5.37) engagement ring from her boyfriend, a story that has ignited a fiery debate across the internet. Opinions are divided: some are championing the notion that love trumps monetary value, while others argue for the importance of effort in a proposal. This topic has certainly struck a chord with many.
Reflecting on this, I’m transported back to my own engagement, a memory from 39 years ago. I had envisioned a scene straight out of a romantic movie: just me and my beloved, a heartfelt proposal with him down on one knee. However, reality had a different script in mind. My proposal scene featured a stunning vintage diamond ring, but rather than the intimate setting I had imagined, the moment unfolded in front of my future father-in-law. His face was alight with joy, a stark but heartwarming contrast to my own mix of surprise and bewilderment. It was far from the proposal I had dreamt of, yet it has become a memory I hold dear. My husband and I laugh at this poignant memory.
Generative art of a diamond ring
This narrative reveals an essential truth: there is no one-size-fits-all blueprint for engagements. My story and that of the woman with the modestly priced ring share an underlying theme – our engagements were unique, defying conventional expectations. What truly matters is not the cost of the ring, but the depth of love and the story that it represents. I totally get where the woman is coming from, but let’s also try to see things from the guy’s point of view for a moment. Adding a twist to the tale, there’s a recent update (if indeed true): the fiancée, unfortunately, ended the relationship with the woman who received the 299-peso ring.
In the end, whether you’re in the midst of planning a proposal or simply imagining your special moment, the essence lies in the bond and memories you forge together. Be it a modest ring or a family-inclusive proposal, the real significance lies in the shared love and affection. These personal, real-world love stories are what make each proposal distinct and genuinely enchanting.
After 17 incredible years as “momblogger”, the time has come for a shift. But, rest assured, while I’ll no longer be using that moniker, the essence of who I am and the brand I’ve built will remain protected and untouched on social networks. Evolution is a natural part of growth, and my evolution has brought me to new horizons: a columnist of The Manila Times and diving into the strange new world of Artificial Intelligence as a generative artist.
I will just be Noemi Lardizabal-Dado or Noemi Dado but I won’t delete “momblogger” in social networks for reputation management.
So let me make it clear. My journey as a mom blogger was never about projecting an image of the perfect mother. Motherhood, with its challenges and rewards, has been a roller coaster.
On being a perfectly imperfect mother.
As I reflect on my journey, I embrace my perfectly imperfect role as a mother. Sure, I have made mistakes I wish I could undo. Without a mother to guide me and being raised by strict parents who didn’t know any better, I made a lot of mistakes but I loved my children in various ways. True, I showed more affection to one child than the other but it didn’t diminish the love I have for each one of them.
I choose to own my narrative, acknowledging my flaws, and cherishing my successes. Because in the grand story of motherhood, it’s not about being perfect, but about being present, loving fiercely, and learning constantly. Before I became a mom blogger in 2006, I made a conscious decision to change as a person, to be a better person so I could be a better mother. I learned about self-love which I often wrote about here in my blog. I wrote about nurturing my inner child because I never had a loving mother. I reached a point where I stopped blaming my parents for my life’s direction. The book on The Purpose-driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren inspired me to move beyond the pain of losing a son and get out of my misery.
I have changed.
I am different . Things have changed.
I refuse to be defined by my past mistakes. Do you believe that someone who has caused you so much pain deserves a second chance? I have written about this. I had to give myself a second chance. A second chance to be a more loving wife and mother.
I know my value as a parent and I can list the things that I did right as a parent which outnumber more than the bad things.
To all the mothers out there, remember that our imperfections make our stories unique and powerful. We are perfectly imperfect, and that’s more than enough.
On being a blogger
This blog will always be called “Touched by an Angel” in memory of my son. I will continue to write here probably even showcasing my generative artwork .
Being a blogger was another transformative journey. It started with my grief journey, then sharing parenting stories and transitioned into advocacy. Championing underrepresented stories and causes dear to me became my mission. And today, I find joy in being a coffee producer and exploring my creative side as a generative artist, even receiving an artist grant of my Coffee Artwork.
As I embrace this new chapter, I leave a message for all mothers: our flaws, experiences, and stories are what make us beautifully unique. Let’s own every part of our journey, for it makes us who we are: perfectly imperfect and more than enough.
Being a mother to young children in the mid-1990s, I witnessed how the internet could be a powerful tool for my children to connect, explore, learn and engage in creative and empowering ways. The United Nations’ Committee on the Rights of the Child in General Comment 25, adopted in 2021, emphasized the importance of the digital environment to children’s lives and rights. Spending time online, as stressed in the General Comment, brings unacceptable risks and threats of harm, some of which children also come across in other environments and some of which are unique to the online situation.
In 2020, about 2 million children in the Philippines were exposed to content that was inappropriate. The report “Disrupting harm in the Philippines: Evidence on online child sexual exploitation and abuse” indicated that 1 in 5 children in the Philippines ages 12 to 17 encountered child sexual abuse material while using the internet.
According to Disrupting Harm household survey data, 20 percent of internet-using children ages 12 to 17 in the Philippines were victims of grave instances of online sexual exploitation and abuse. Such abuse consists of being “blackmailed to engage in sexual activities, someone sharing their sexual images without permission, or being coerced to engage in sexual activities through promises of money or gifts.” Children were most commonly subjected to Online Sexual Abuse and Exploitation of Children via social media. Online child sexual exploitation and abuse (Ocsea) “refers to situations involving digital, internet and communication technologies at some point during the continuum of abuse or exploitation. Ocsea could occur fully online or through a mix of online and in-person interactions between offenders and children.”
Several promising awareness-raising initiatives in the Philippines touch on Ocsea, such as #BeCyberSafe by the Department of Education; the Child Protection Seminar initiative with internet café and computer shop owners, or the annual Safer Internet Day, among others. The report added that “these initiatives reflect a commitment by the Philippines Government and other stakeholders to improve the visibility of these crimes against children.
However, comprehensive evaluations of these campaigns are needed to measure their effectiveness.” One stakeholder is the partnership of Palo Alto Networks (Nasdaq: PANW), the global cybersecurity leader, with PLDT Inc. and its wireless unit, Smart Communications Inc. The objective is to strengthen the two telcos’ Child Protection Platform and enable a safer online experience for children. Over 1 billion attempts to access URLs with child sexual abuse material (CSAM) have been blocked by the platform since November 2021. Their Child Protection Platform is a cybersecurity solution developed to address the CSAM problems by blocking illegal traffic at the content level, which then restricts access to CSAMs that have found their way into legitimate domains. Palo Alto Network Next-Generation Firewalls (NGFWs) and Cloud-Delivered Security Services including Threat Prevention, Advanced URL Filtering and WildFire scrutinize the content and convert URLs for redirection if CSAM-related traffic is found.
PLDT and Smart have also joined peers and other stakeholders from the private and government sectors in calling for the immediate passage of the Anti-OSAEC bill. The proposed law would institutionalize the taking down of websites that stream or host CSAM, as well as impose stiffer penalties against parties involved in child abuse cases.
Meanwhile, caregivers, teachers and social support services should be proactive. Understand what their children are doing both online and offline. Among children who experienced Ocsea on social media, the most common platforms took place on Facebook or Facebook Messenger, accounting for over 90 percent of cases. To a much lesser degree, other platforms cited were TikTok, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. Among the insights presented, is to foster safe and ongoing communication between children and trusted adults about their lives online. Another is to ensure that responses to disclosures of Ocsea always convey that it is never the child’s fault, whatever choices they have made. Most of all, children should be informed about their right to be protected from all forms of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse and exploitation.
I have a confession to make. In 2016, Ayoko Kay leni Robredo because Dilawan siya. But I got to interview her with my fellow bloggers for almost 2 hours . In our interview she said she had plans for anti poverty program.
At ginawa talaga niya. Angat Buhay started in October 2016. Mas lalo ako bilib sa kanya.
Angat Buhay is her anti poverty program under the Office of the Vice President.
As of December 2021, the OVP, through Angat Buhay, has partnered with 372 organizations mobilizing a total of P520 million worth of resources to assist 321,001 families and 305,223 individuals in 223 communities nationwide.
Some of the projects under the program are the Angat Buhay villages in Bicol and Marawi, medical assistance, and the construction of health centers and classrooms, among others. Imagine if she is president. She will make ANGAT Buhay lahat even bigger.
Two out of many reasons “Why Leni”. If president , she will push for a bill for a P100 billion stimulus package for MSMEs to help rebuild our economy while also making sure people don’t lose their jobs. Meron din balak ng Unemployment Insurance Program where you will get 80% of 3 months worth of their previous salary . This is what I will campaign when asked about her concrete plans.
Marami nag sabi wala siyang ginawa. I only knew of her achievements last year. Hindi siya epal. Her weakness and strength is she didn’t want to publicize her achievements. At that time, she had no intentions to run for President. She just kept on working.
These are her achievements
COVID -19 RESPONSE 1. P503 Million COVID-19 Response. 2. P58.84 Million Testing Kits. 3. P64.70 Million PPES. 4. P43.98 Million Dormitories for Frontliners. 5. P35.60 Million Disaster Relief Operations. 6. P20.43 Million Gadgets for students. 7. P17.28 Million locally funded projects. 8. P14 Million Hot meals for Health workers. 9. P2.5 Million support towards employees exposed to COVID-10. 10. P1.4 Million Hazard Pay for regular employees. 11. P817,000 Hazard Pay for the contract of service employees. 12. P249,500 Hazard Pay for contractual employees. 13. 23,345 Frontliners served through Vaccine Express, Cab Swab, Free Shuttle. 14. Community Mart sa Quezon City at Pasig para sa mga small-time market vendors at tricycle drivers na naapektuhan ng pandemya. 15. Vaccine Express initiative that inoculated 500 Aetas in Barangay Sta. Juliana. 16. Leni backed the passage into law of the Unemployment Insurance Bill that will create an unemployment insurance system to protect Filipinos who have lost their jobs due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
DISASTER RELIEF/HOUSING 17. P12.3 Billion total value of given help to families. 18. P42.17 Million worth of help given to communities. 19. P12.80 Million contribution towards transitory shelters and shelter kits for Marawi 20. P207,244 or 1,022 individuals given relief ops. 21. P23.86 Million from the VP fund was shelled out for the victims of the Taal Volcano, Typhoon Quinta, Super Typhoon Rolly, and Typhoon Ulysses. 22. P8.841 Million donations were collected for the Taal eruption. 23. P2.360 Million donations were collected for Typhoons. 24. 12,489 families’ homes were repaired due to disaster-related damages. 25. 92,600 Light Bulbs given to homes in Metro Manila. 26. 3,776+ Households have been given electricity through the OVP’s Angat Buhay. 27. Assistance to at least 11 towns in Batangas, 1 in Cavite after the volcanic eruption, reaching at least 22.047 families in the two provinces. 28. 87 municipalities across 11 provinces were given aid that reached at least 56,148 families after the typhoons. 29. The OVP turned over pet supplies donated by different organizations to the Philippine Animal Rescue Team. This is to help in taking care of around 600 animals. 30. Leni has proposed the construction of stronger evacuation centers that not only will withstand natural calamities but will also accommodate pets and livestock. 31. Leni wants to strengthen the rescue capabilities of barangay officials. 32. In 2020, Leni together with the OVP’s partner-agencies provided boats for Aurora fisherfolk affected by typhoons. 33. After the Typhoon Ulysses calamity, Leni says that climate change should be taken seriously. 34. Leni recognizes that there is a “global climate emergency,” and values conversations on the issue. She supports instructional changes towards fossil fuel independence.
POVERTY REDUCTION 35. Leni was a practicing lawyer who focused on cases involving the marginalized sector. 36. P441.14 Million worth of resources mobilized through the OVP’s Angat Buhay with 330 partnered organizations. 37.341,779 families helped or 221,122 individuals in 381 communities nationwide through the OVP’s Angat Buhay. 38. P8.93 Million worth of projects, farm inputs, livestock, development and training wherein 127 individuals and 18 accredited Civil Society Organizations were assisted.
EDUKASYON 39. P122.96 Million worth of Educational infrastructure built. 40. P8.27 Million worth of School kits. 41. P4.49 Million worth of Scholarships and technical training. 42. P19.75 Million appraised value of gadgets and items raised via Kaya Natin donation drive for Bayanihan E-skwela, Community learning hubs, instructional videos for teachers and parents. 43. Leni wants SPED centers in all public schools. 44. Noong siya ay Housing Chief, she pushed to build communities that are friendly to persons with disabilities. 45. The OVP partnered with USAID and PBEd to provide free technical-vocational skills and employability training for over 1,000 unemployed and out-of-school Filipino youth.
BILLS AUTHORED 46. Principal Author of HB 19 or the Full Disclosure Bill. 47. Principal Author of HB 3905 or the Participatory Budget Process Bill. 48. Principal Author of HB 4911 or the People Empowerment Bill. 49. Co-author of HB 3432 or the Comprehensive Anti-Discrimination Bill. 50. Co-author of HB 3587 or the Anti-Political Dynasty Bill.
It has nothing to do with age. I was in my early 60s when I embarked on my journey as a coffee producer. Knowing nothing about coffee production , I was able to overcome my insecurities by just doing it. It’s never too late to start something out of your comfort zone.
Women have long fought for equality and while the road has often been filled with ups and downs, stories of women finding strength within themselves and using it to help other women find theirs has always been at the forefront of the journey towards women empowerment.
This Women’s Month, YouTube celebrated women content creators who were able to break the bias and chart their own journeys of equality in an online event titled Breaking the Bias: Online and beyond on March 30.
“The theme for this year’s Women’s Month is ‘Break The Bias’ which resonates so much with me. I myself experienced this. I felt that I had to break the biases that are attached to being a woman back in the day when I was just starting in the tech industry,” said Bernadette Nacario, Google Philippines Country Director.
“I believe that in order for us to break the bias, one of the steps we have to take is to ‘Ask Her First’. The simple habit of asking, rather than assuming, can lead more women to realizing their full potential and succeeding in what they choose to do,” Nacario added.
Hosted by Nikki Gil-Albert, the event highlighted the challenges women face–from body-shaming to dealing with disabilities–how they rose above it and how they encourage others to do the same.
Breaking biases online and offline
“Growing up, the beauty standard was all about being sexy and in order to be sexy, you needed to go on a diet. As a plus-size woman, I did not fit those standards,” said Helen Payawal of Helen On Fleek.
Helen is a beauty and lifestyle content creator who runs her own clothing and swimwear line. When she became a content creator, she revealed that she often came across comments about her size and how “it’s embarrassing” seeing a person like her wearing swimsuits.
That didn’t stop her from doing what she loves–vlogging and traveling–and if that didn’t stop her, her “curvybabes” shouldn’t either.
“A lot of us felt insecure growing up. But there’s this one quote that a friend shared to me that I will never forget — ‘Be someone who you needed when you were younger,’” she said. “I want to be someone who can inspire my fellow plus-size women that once you get over the shyness and what people would think about you because you are different, you will be limitless. At the end of the day, it’s your happiness that matters.”
ForJozelle Tech, a content creator and CEO of her own brand creative consulting firm The Rolling Media, living as a differently-abled person sometimes has challenges beyond the disability itself.
“Living as a physically-challenged person, people are prone to assumptions: that I would need help or that I won’t be able to do certain things,” Jozelle said.
Jozelle was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and uses a wheelchair to move around. This has led to many instances of people talking over her or asking her companion about her instead of directly asking her.
“They think I can’t handle the conversation on my own. The crazy thing about this is I’m right in front of them,” she explained. “By approaching my companion first, I’d feel like you see me as someone unequal or incapable.”
“This is why it’s very important to educate people about the right approach or way of asking questions. Sometimes comments like ‘can you do that’ can do more harm than good,” Nikki pointed out.
This is why Jozelle, through her YouTube channel, seeks not only to inspire others like her into following their passions but also helping people to change how they treat differently-abled people.
Building a world of strong, confident women
As a Muslim Filipina, Egypa Balindong felt that while being a woman is struggle enough, being a young Muslim woman and a minority is an even bigger struggle.
“People will always question your talent, capacity, and credibility and they will discredit your achievements just because you’re a woman,” Egypa said.
She was able to turn these challenges into opportunities as the filmmaker used her YouTube channel to show her life as a Maranao, as a Muslim, and most of all, as an empowered woman.
“I had to be brave enough to educate people about my culture and religion. By simply sharing my daily life with my friends and family, I was able to make people see that we are not different,” she said.
The world has come a long way but there is still more that needs to be done, especially when it comes to creating a world where women are empowered.
Mothers like Arra Solis (Rookie Mommy PH) play a major role in that regard. As mother to her young daughter and as a businesswoman, she has taken it upon herself to set an example that a woman can do anything she sets her mind on doing.
Before being a work-from-home mom and entrepreneur, Arra used to have a regular office job. She recalled that one of the difficulties she faced was being passed over when it comes to leadership positions or having decisions made for her.
“I was never really asked first if I wanted to do something or if I’m able to do it. This is when I learned to speak up and have people listen,” she explained before adding that she wishes her daughter would grow up in a world where such challenges are no more.
“I’m hoping that we get to a place where gender, skin color, religion, etc will not hinder her from getting the career path she wanted, may it be to take on a leadership role in a company or to start a business,” she added.
Learn more about how to #AskHerFist and #BreakTheBias to create a more inclusive place for women. Listen to their stories on the Google Philippines YouTube and Facebook pages.
