I am right now in Narita airport en route to San Francisco and I might as well entertain myself before boarding time. It’s been years since I’ve visited the states not since the year before my son died in 2000. As my son and I sat on the airplane seat on board our flight to Cebu a few days before his death, he begged me to take him to the states the following summer. I hugged my precious boy and promised him I’d take him along because the previous years were spent with the girls choir tour in the US and Canada. It was his turn to be with me.
It pained me that I was never able to fulfill his wish and perhaps it is one of the reasons that I lost interest to travel the past years. For years, I was consumed with the myriad reminders of my son’s life and death. It wasn’t an easy journey. As time passed, I found occasional peaceful respites from grief as the episodes of deep grieving gradually became less frequent and intense. Today, it’s not as painful and I find peace and solitude in the pain that I carry with me for life.
Death may have taken away my son but he lives forever in my heart and in my memories. Perhaps he might not have visited the states with me but he is right here with me in spirit. I brought along Kippy Cat as my travel mascot.
The legacy my child left is a love that transcends time and space. As I hold Kippy Cat close to my chest in the airport, a flood of happy and poignant memories lift me to high spirits and I feel the comfort of my son’s love.
“I find peace and solitude in the pain that I carry with me for life.”
–> I think I know exactly how this feels. 🙂 Enjoy your well deserved trip po.
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ah yes. we live with the pain for life 🙂
Aww. Lex has his favorite stuffed toy too (or is it because he doesn’t have any other stuffed toy?).
Medyo off topic, my officemate recently lost her child, premature birth (7months), I didn’t know. I greeted her, “Uy, nanganak ka na?”, then she told me about it, and I didn’t know what to say. The child died a day after because of an enlarged heart caused by a viral infection to the mother. I just blurted out “You have an angel watching over you now.” Blah. I thought to myself, tama bang magsabi nun, with a smile pa? Wala lang, I remembered you that moment. Consoling people is just not my thing.
It’s good that you’re able to smile more now. 🙂
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a touch is just enough or letting her be…cry or not cry or talk or not talk. Being there is enough
The Kippycat is so cute. It actually brought me to tears. 🙂
me too as I wrote. I miss my boy in moments like this.
I’m crying as I write this. I’m a new mom to a 19 month old boy… And I don’t know how I can go living if he was taken away from me. I just want to say that you’re a very STRONG woman. Enjoy your trip there, you have readers thinking of you.
i understand. A TV host was supposed to go to my house to interview me but she backed out at the last minute saying her boy was sick. Maybe she could not take the pain of talking to me about it.
Enjoy the US, Noemi! 🙂
It’s really touching how and why you bought Kippy; and it’s always nice to have a travel buddy.
My comfort..though it’s just an object, it’s a symbol of my son’s past.
the post practically had me in tears.. it reminds me of my zeejay she has her favorite stuff toy too..she fondly calls it “brian”…. i really admire you.. and hoping someday i can also find happiness through my pains.. wishing that someday like you when i remember my dear piglet i will feel happy for the wonderful life she had lived rather that life she had lost..
keep it up noemi.. hope i can meet you soon..
hugs, Noems, enjoy your trip
hi noemi,
hope to see you soon. we live near hercules around 20 minutes away. hope to hear from you soon. have a safe trip!
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welcome to the USA, Noemi. hope you have a memorable stay here.
What a wonderful memory of your little boy. I know he’s happy knowing that he will always be loved. Good luck on your trip!
What a wonderful memory of your little boy. I know he’s happy knowking that he will always be loved. happy trip!
have a nice and safe trip! enjoy!
the seats are familiar e? NWA?
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awww noems. just read this now. how poignant. so that’s the story pala of kippy cat 🙂 lui is with you wherever you go…
Cathys last blog post..BLUE EAGLE, THE KING!
Kippy cat is with me right now in the table. Memories are comforting!
awwww. lui is with you wherever you go… just read this now. so poignant.
Cathys last blog post..BLUE EAGLE, THE KING!
Your son must have been touched that you brought along Kippy Cat with you.
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This post really touched me… You’re such an inspiration of a mom’s love and courage Ms. Noemi.
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This is so touching. I’m sure Luijoe is happy that Kippy Cat is keeping you company 🙂
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