On the Day of the Unborn, my daughter’s 25th birthday

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We must not be surprised when we hear of murders, killings, of wars, or of hatred…If a mother can kill her own child, what is left but for us to kill each other? – Mother Teresa

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As countries across the globe observe the Day of the Unborn Child today (it is Day of Unborn in Manila) , I will be celebrating the 25th birthday of Lauren , my eldest daughter. I don’t understand why the Catholic church here in the Philippines calls it the “Day of the Unborn” which pretty much sounds like some creepy horror movie like the “Undead”.

Those against the Reproductive Health (RH) bill say they are pro-life and label RH advocates like me as “evil” or pro-abortion.

Well, hear ye.

I am pro-life.

I am for the Reproductive Health Bill.

I am pro-life because I believe that all births should be planned and wanted by their parents.

I am pro-life because I don’t believe in abortion except for special cases e.g. mother dying of high blood pressure

I am pro-life because I believe women do not have to die during childbirth.

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I’m a survivor – a living example of what people can go through and survive.- Elizabeth Taylor

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Rest in peace, Elizabeth Taylor. I will always remember Elizabeth Taylor for her violet-eyed beauty, her stormy romances and eight marriages and her Oscar-winning performances. I also like her quotable quotes that shows snippets of her life:

Not at least until I’m dead, and at the moment I’m having too much fun being alive…and I plan on staying that way.

Every breath you take today should be with someone else in mind. I love you.

That is the thing that will give back to you all the rewards that there are. Don’t do it for yourself, because then it becomes selfish.

Give. Remember always to give. That is the thing that will make you grow.

You are who you are. All you can do in this world is help others to be who they are and better themselves and those around them.

Never let yourself think beyond your means…mental, emotional or any otherwise.

Always keep love and humility in your heart.

No one is going to play Elizabeth Taylor, but Elizabeth Taylor herself.

Humor is the only way to stay alive.

Because then it becomes about yourself…which is wrong. Giving is to give to God. Helping is to help others.

You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.

I suppose when they reach a certain age some men are afraid to grow up. It seems the older the men get, the younger their new wives get.

It’s not the having, it’s the getting.

Marriage is a great institution.

My mother says I didn’t open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked.
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The beauty of the Philippine Golden South Sea Pearl

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June, my birth month is almost near. I know what I want. Of course, Pearls. I can never have enough. The pearl is the queen of gems and the gem of queens. Well, I might not be a queen but I am definitely the queen in the eyes of my husband.

Years before I got engaged to my boyfriend (who is now my adorable husband of 25 years), he planted a kiss on my hands as he slipped a pearl ring with two little diamonds in it. He can be romantic like that. I think it was our “steady ring” to show how serious he was with his love. He was just a law student then and I bet he must have crossed oceans to get one for me. I loved it so much that I wore that pearl ring everyday until he replaced it with a diamond engagement ring. Of course along the years, I have collected a few pearl accessories.

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I thought I had seen all the Pearls in the world until the golden pearl was introduced to me at a Jewelmer event. This golden pearl is the most gorgeous South Sea Pearls I have ever laid my eyes on. The luster is stunning. I have never seen such shimmering brilliance. The price of a pearl strand shocked me a bit but I thought, perhaps a golden pearl ring or pendant might be more affordable.

“These gems will eventually be handed down to our two daughters”, I told my husband , trying to justify the investment of the Golden pearls.

After my visit to the colorful world of the Pearl Farm in Palawan, I understood the value of this Ultimate Orient- the Philippine Golden Pearl.

Let me take you to a tour to the creation of this golden pearl.

This golden south sea pearl represents the triumph of collaboration between man and his environment. A pearl farm must , by necessity of its goal, remain a pristine environment. Oysters must live and thrive in clean, moving water, with constant tidal patterns and temperatures.

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I witnessed the beauty of Palawan, its golden sunsets, the corals in clear blue waters, the Pearl farmers and the serenity of the place that all played a role in the creation of the Golden Pearl. The visit to the Pearl Farm, chatting with some of the marine biologists, the divers , staff and JB , managing director of Jewelmer made me value the marine diversity of the Philippines and the need to respect our environment.

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Talking to children about natural disasters

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Be-Red-Cross-ReadyA cascade of feelings has been triggered in each one of us as the devastation brought by the earthquake and tsunami in Japan is shown on TV. The images of death and destruction are everywhere. How do we explain natural disasters to our children, and how do we fulfill our role to protect and nurture them?

I remember the strong earthquake in 1990 that struck Northern Luzon and also affected Metro Manila. My children were below four years old then. As the earth shook beneath me, I could only think of my two children left behind at home with their caregivers in Pasig. Were they traumatized? I was in Makati then attending to a property for lease. My only connection to them was the landline, which failed to make a connection probably due to others like me checking up on their families. There was no time to lose but to brave the traffic in EDSA. The two girls didn’t seem terrified but in the next few days, one daughter scribbled what seemed like an earthquake scenario. I took it as a sign that she wanted to express her experience. Speaking to her calmly, I explained that earthquakes cannot be predicted but I will do all my best to keep everyone safe. To give assurance, I initiated earthquake drills at home and showed them the earthquake kit by the door.

When storm Ondoy struck our home, I was in Singapore. I read a tweet from my daughter ““Oh no, flood is entering our house and mom is not here.” I managed to call home, trying to check if my husband was there. He was home. That got me thinking that the kids were so used to me being in control during times of crisis. I failed to involve their father to give them the same safe feeling at times like these.

Allow me to share some thoughts about caring for our children and ourselves during difficult circumstances:

continue reading, Parenting through natural disasters

Here are preparedness guides that you can download too:

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Captivated by the beauty of Palawan (Travelogue) Part 1 of 3 parts

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““The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” I agree with Helen Keller.

Nothing prepared me for the the beauty of Palawan seascapes, its breathtaking sunsets, the beautiful people and the miracle of the Golden South Sea Pearl. The beauty captivated me so much I felt dazed. Now that I look back at it, I wished time slowed down for me to take it all in.

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Photo by Jayvee Fernandez

This amazing adventure started with an invitation from Jewelmer through Yehey, their digital marketing. As I leafed through the invite I noted the ““passion for life” at the top and to join them in becoming a catalyst of change. That sounds like me. I am passionate about meaningful things in life. The invite to visit Palawan is heaven-sent. I have always wanted to visit the Philippines last frontier. The stories of travel bloggers inspired me to make Palawan a must-experience travel destination . I wanted to witness how the lustrous golden Philippine South Sea Pearl is cultivated. Lastly, I wanted to observe the livelihood projects of the ““Save Palawan Seas Foundation”, that are both sustainable as well as environmentally sound. I was terribly excited. Jayvee, Anna and I are the first set of bloggers to join this Pearl Farm tour, a first for bloggers in the history of Jewelmer.

There is so much to write about this trip that it needs to be shown in three parts: the travelogue, the beauty of the golden South Sea Pearl and the people of Palawan and the livelihood projects of their foundation.
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Want to help or donate to Japan?

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My heart just go out to the victims of the Japan earthquake and tsunami. The massive quake and tsunami left more than 1,000 dead. Some 300-400 bodies were recovered in Rikuzentakata, a coastal town of some 23,000 people. Around 10,000 people also remained unaccounted for in the Japanese port town of Minamisanriku in quake-hit Miyagi prefecture.

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In the Philippines, here is how to donate through the Philippine Red Cross.

Celebrities have offered avenues for help. Lady Gaga says “Designed a Japan Prayer Bracelet. Buy It/Donate here and ALL proceeds will go to Tsunami Relief Efforts”. Even Boyz II Men offered help “Please Help us support our friends in Japan. Anything U can give will help! Boyz II Men Japan Relief “. Apple now accepts donations to Red Cross Japan relief fund via iTunes .

Here are many ways to help. I will update the list as more offers to help comes.
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Until we can manage time, we can manage nothing else

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Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
M. Scott Peck

Time-management

Congrats Jaypee for winning a Samsung Microwave oven from my Blog Anniversary contest on the subject of Time Management. Here is his winning comment:

I would like to share one of the most effective time management techniques that I religiously followed back when I was college. I consider it as a successful plan because I managed to study and work all at the same time in the university.

I was first year college when I applied for a student assistant program in our school. The program works this way: you work for 6 hours in one of the offices in the university and you get free tuition. Of course that aint easy because we were also required to maintain a specific average grade.

So what I did was I manipulated my schedule so that most of my subjects will be on an evening schedule, making it convenient for me to work in the Registrar’s office in the morning and a little more time to study in the afternoon. At times during the semester, there were subjects that I had to take in the morning. So I talked to my immediate supervisor and worked during Saturday half-day office to compensate for my absences in the office. I became serious about it and never took the scholarship for granted that is why I carefully planned things out. Because of what I did, I managed to run things smoothly. I was a scholar from my 1st year up to my 4th year.

I am sharing this because I want people to be motivated and inspired that no matter how financially down you are, there are tons of ways if you really are determined to finish your studies or achieve anything in life.

Because of the hardwork and the sacrifices that I did way back in college, I am now a registered Electronics Engineer. And I am proud to say that “nag-sunog ako ng kilay para ma-abot ko ‘yon.”

Congratulations Jaypee.

The honeymoon phase

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“It was just that we had this phenomenal honeymoon relationship that just kept on going.” James Levine
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As my boyfriend placed the engagement ring on my finger, my eyes just sparkled with excitement. Nothing could stop us from getting married. We were madly, deeply and truly in love for seven years. What did I know about marriage? I saw my own parents fight, laugh, tease and get back together. It’ll be a breeze for us, I thought.

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Looking back at our 25 years of marriage and 7 years of steady relationship, I never imagined the challenges, the tears, the drama that befell us. The children just kept us together. On one of those dreary days, I thought , “how can we grow old together?” Would we become one of those old grumpy couples that don’t speak to each other in restaurants or one of those adorable elderly couples that everyone aspires to be?

Sappy as it sounds, it must have been love that pulled us back again or was it our little angel watching over us? With the kids at college and more time for ourselves to bicker or romance (take your pick), the quality of time spent made us rediscover ourselves as a couple and as an individual. For me, that meant, slimming down, trying to be fashionably smart, embarking on new ventures and becoming a healthy person inside and out. Having dramatic changes might have moved my husband to do the same.

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