My husband stared at the couch by the bay window and sighs “look at what the cats did!@!*! The damage to the leather is getting worse everyday.”

We have three lovable furry felines in our household and they give me so much comfort when the house is empty. I cuddled my pet kitty to my chest and stroked her smooth white fur as I tried to think of something.

I held his hand “Missy gives me joy. Don’t worry, my shawl will hide the worn leather.”

He continues to rant because he can’t help seeing the frayed couch day in and day out. Oh well, I think it is an excuse to re-upholster the couch, as I continue to think of solutions.

Then he wandered off to the living room and pointed out the base of the lounge in tatters.

Seeing my husband’s exasperated look, I comfort him once again “My shawl will hide all that. Don’t worry. I have lots of shawl”. My wide collection of pretty shawls from China, Divisoria, India and Pakistan came in handy. I picked an olive-green shawl and demonstrated the look of the couch and the lounge chair as it hid the torn and ragged leather. My husband nods.


Last Sunday, all of us helped out M as she chose her white graduation dress. She needed two dresses because there are two graduation dates for the state university, one on April 25 and another on April 26. The requirement is a dress length which reaches the calves and should have sleeves. It’s not easy looking out for white dresses. After 4 hours, we finally found an array of affordable chic dresses at the Rockwell Powerplant Mall. The thing is, the dresses had no sleeves.

After 4 hours of shopping I just wanted to find a solution for the white dresses “don’t worry, I’ll get you a white sheer shawl! and voila, the dress has sleeves”

My husband started to laugh “Your solution is always a shawl”.

I couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. I didn’t realize it but yes, I try to think of temporary solutions to problems that are not within my control. I guess I am not a person who bursts an artery over little problems. Don’t sweat the small stuff right?

I think we all have “shawls” in our lives. It is not necessarily a denial but a temporary fix to an inconvenience. It is not worth the anger over spilled milk. The tattered couch is ugly now yet I tell my husband that my cats lower my blood pressure and keep me less stressed. It’s no use stressing over something that is supposed to calm your nerves.

Whenever I use “my shawl”, it’s my way of letting go.

How much do we need to let go off? I always think “maybe everything”.

I let go of my grasp on toxic people, outcomes, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, desires, almost everything. There is magic in letting go. Sometimes I get what I want soon after I let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome I desired doesn’t happen. Something better does. Letting go and wearing “my shawl” creates the optimum environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions.

Oh yes, letting go starts the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way. That’s why I call it my magic shawl.

I have a shawl draped on my bed covers which I use to wrap around my husband’s head when he feels chilled at night. It’s either I turn the aircon off , suffer the heat or hear him whine. I choose the “shawl” and as an added bonus, a kiss.

Do you have your own version of the “magic shawl’?


About Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.

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