Cito Beltran’s Straight Talk

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I told the girls I can’t be bothered to be their driver tomorrow because I have to appear as a guest at Cito Beltran’s Straight Talk at 1 to 2 PM. My daughter’s immediate reaction: “I won’t be surprised if you appear in Boy Abunda’s talk show“. I don’t really watch TV so I don’t know what kind of talk show it is. But why not? If it helps promote The Compassionate Friends, I’m all for it. I just found out today that Cito Beltran is on leave so Cheche Lazaro will take his place. That’s excellent! She is one of the country’s most respected broadcast journalists . As founding president of Probe Productions Inc. and host of The Probe Team, she started the first investigative newsmagazine for television in the Philippines. I hope I “talk straight” as it is my first ever live interview. The other guest is Agnes Prieto who edited the book on loss of a child, Fallen Cradle. She also initiated this book project.

If you don’t catch the live interview, the replay is at 11:00 PM, June 2 and at 6 PM on June 3, Saturday. I think it will also show simultcast at the The Filipino Channel or ABS CBN Global.

Compassionate Medical Professionals Wanted

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Here is another case of stupid toilet humor that occured in Silliman University Medical Center Foundation, Inc. (SUMCFI).

olga_uy.jpg

A grieving mother who has infertility problems lost her second baby by [tag]miscarriage[/tag] last May 9 and lodged a complaint that she was subjected to indignities by a hospital staff who commented that the dead fetus which was to be her second child was to be urinated upon (because the hospital ran out of formalin and or distilled water.)

Read complete news story From the Negros Chronicle in here and here.

Olga Lucia Uy emailed her story to me 3 days ago. Maia, her baby was only 5 to 6 weeks old at the time of her death.

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Ali Sotto’s Special Mother’s Day Feature

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alishow.jpgI was quite apprehensive over the production of Ali’s Sotto Mother’s Day Feature. Ali’s talk show was launched late last year and I had never watched a single episode. What will be the focus? Will it sound sensational aka Oprah Show style? Or will they show some heart breaking dramatic effect? I was prepared for the worst.

ali show

Surprisingly, the episode was nice, touching and inspiring. The Ali Show featured mothers who have moved on towards a positive resolution of their grief. It’s not easy to narrate my grief and the events surrounding Luijoe’s death in public but I needed to share , if only to give hope to other bereaved parents. Most importantly, my son’s memory is kept alive through The Compassionate Friends which I co-founded with two other parents. (View Screencaps of the show)

* * *

When I woke up this morning, I received a few text messages about the show. The funniest of them all was a text message forwarded by my husband.

Hi Butch . Is Noemi a movie celebrity? I keep seeing her picture on TV. what show does she come out in?

haha, I don’t know if our new friend was kidding or not but I think he was referring to the preview of the show.

Mother’s Day Special for Bereaved Mothers

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interviewIt’s not that I’m vain. That’s a test shot. I checked to see if the makeup artist placed too much cake on me. Okay, I’m vain. I was invited as one of the guests for the taping of a Mother’s Day Special for Ali Sotto-Bsaies’ talk-magazine program (light public affairs show aptly titled “ALI,”). I expected it to be over in 30 minutes. It was difficult for Ali to do this episode. Our interview reached two hours due to frequent crying breaks and retouching of makeup. Miko Sotto‘s birthday was just last May 10 then there ‘s Mother’s Day. Anniversary dates, holidays, birthdays, special days will come and pass, each with their sting of pain. I felt really sad. I don’t know what will come out of my episode. Just see for yourself on the outcome of the interview. Other mothers featured are Agnes Prieto, Alma Miclat , Vilma Dy and Ali Sotto herself. It’ll come out on May 16, 2006 ABC Channel 5 at 11:00 PM.

I’ll talk more about this when the show airs next tuesday.

More TV shows are showing a mother’s loss this month, like Maalala Mo Kaya and Magpakailanman

I’m exhausted.

Successful Book Launch of “Fallen Cradle”

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book launch fallen cradle“[tag]Fallen Cradle[/tag]” is a book of 22 stories by parents who have a lost a child. It was formally launched today at Powerbooks Greenbelt Makati. What can I say? The Book launch was a huge success. The initial 150 books set for the launch ran out. Anvil Publishing rushed to get more stock from the warehouse. My story on Luijoe, My Angel is on page 29. A lot of people say he’s such a handsome boy. I know. We chose that picture because he exudes so much charm.

The first few sentences of my story goes this way:

““If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” Luijoe asked. My six-year-old was lying on the bed, flipping through the prayer books piled on his tummy.

It was Holy Week, a month before that fateful day of May 27, 2000, the day he drowned in a beach resort in Cebu.

I turned my body to face his and stroked his cheek. How could I explain the mysteries of death to a little boy? ““When we die, Lui, we will live forever, through eternal life in heaven,” I said the lines I’d memorized from the teachings of our Catholic Church.

Of course you have to buy the book to read the rest of the story.

This book paved the way to the positive resolution of my [tag]grief[/tag] journey. During the second blueprint in November 2005, Agnes Prieto invited me to be part of the book. I have never written my loss much less how Luijoe died. Writing Luijoe’s story turned out to be very difficult, often bringing tears as I recalled the painful events. These events were buried deep in my heart and I had to reach out to my innermost feelings. My sister, Myrna L. de Vera helped me a lot with the writing style (Thanks dear sister) and the editing work. Writing Luijoe’s story culimnated into the renewal phase of my grief journey. I submitted the final edit of my story on November 27, 2005. On the same day and inspired by my transformation, I wrote The Compassionate Friends International Council if I could start a Philippines Chapter. That was how The Compassionate Friends Philippines started. Reaching out to other bereaved parents is a living tribute to my son . Luijoe is never entirely gone.

fallen cradlefallen cradle butch
I’ve only attended two book launch events in my lifetime so I can’t really compare if today’s event was a tremendous success. I just said it was a hit because they ran out of copies. Agnes Prieto prepared a touching rose and cradle ceremony with a powerpoint presentation of each child represented in the book. A short anecdote taken from each story and our child’s photo flashed on the screen. The parents picked a single white rose from the table and placed it on the vase by the baby’s cradle. The toys surrounding the cradle belongs to Luijoe. Yes, all these years I’ve kept them in a sealed box. Butch , my dear hubby was a substitute for the absentee parent contributors.

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The Coños and their Taglish

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My friend Emma showed me the article of her beloved son, Ariel Llanto who passed away last December, 9 2005. Ariel had hepatosplenic gamma delta T-cell lymphoma, a rare and particularly aggressive disease and lived barely one month after the diagnosis. His April 27 article on the Inquirer’s Young Blood was about Leaving Manila. As a Cebuana who studied college in Manila during the mid seventies, Ariel ‘s observations was evident during my time.

I started to uncover social nuances at school. I have vivid memories of roaming around the campus, trawling for evidence of the disparities, in particular, between the way Cebuanos and Manileños spoke. I winced at the sound of the Tagalog accent and words finding their way to English statements. Many girls — and, to my horror, guys — spoke like Kris Aquino.

An amusing breed, known as ““coños,” acted as if they didn’t know how to speak straight Tagalog, opting to communicate in a mangled mish-mash of Tagalog and English (““Taglish”).

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Preparing for life and death

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When I first saw the accidental drowning photos from Sidney’s My Sari Sari Store, it looked surreal to me. For some reason, the photo of the dead boy didn’t shock me. Yes, I felt a twinge of sadness. Not that I’m a cold hearted person. That’s because I’ve seen the death of my own child. What is the worst photo or image one could possibly imagine? The image of my son’s limp body haunted my mind for at least 3 years after his death. Sometimes I prayed to God to give me amnesia to stop these images from playing over and over again.

Today I can look back at that exact moment when my son was given CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) without the raw pain wrenching my heart. How did it feel like?

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A memorial site for deceased MySpace users

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MyDeathSpace.com memorializes deceased MySpace.com users and picks up where
a regular obituary leaves off. I don’t know how their deaths can be verified. When you click their myspace profiles, one can see that someone logged in recently. Maybe their ghost updated their profile? Or perhaps, family members were able to get their password. My friend’s 20 year old son died recently and she was able to acquire his [tag]myspace[/tag] login information through the help of friends. She plans to create a memorial website for him.

Looking at the cause of death of these young kids, all of it are Sudden, Accidental or Traumatic Deaths. How sad ! Automobile Accident ranks as the number one cause of death. Others like Auto-Pedestrian Accident, being shot, suicide, drug overdose, alcohol poisoning or alcohol-related, drunk driving are just a few common ones then followed by unusual causes like:

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