kay warrenkay warrenWhile on my way to Kay Warren’s Women Talk seminar, I pondered over her topic “How to be Joyful No Matter What“. Kay Warren is a two-time cancer survivor, a homemaker, and a pastor’s wife (the wife of Rick Warren, author of Purpose Driven life). Her favorite passage of Scripture is John 6:1-14 . In that famous passage, Jesus feeds 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish that a little boy offered Him. These verses confirm the truth that God uses ordinary average people to accomplish great things when their lives are totally surrendered to Him. It was God’s idea that Cathy give me tickets for the “Women Talk” yesterday so I could share it here.

kay warrenCan life still be joyful even if one has experienced the worst nightmare any parent can have? What do I tell the bereaved mothers of The Compassionate Friends that life can be joyful inspite of the loss of their child. For newly bereaved, there are days and weeks that can drag on and on without any infusion of light and joy. Kay Warren defines joy as the , ““The unshakeable assurance that God is in control of all the details in my life. It is the quiet confidence that ultimately everything will be alright; and the determined purpose to praise God in all things.” Some newly bereaved lose their faith in God . I too lost my faith in God. It’s all a matter of choices. It was my choice to be miserable early on in my grief journey. While listening to Kay, I knew I had to undergo so much pain to discover God again in my life. We can control our choices. I chose to surrender to God during my deepest darkest despair and that’s when I found joy back in my life. How? I didn’t know it then but Kay Warren best explains the practical ways on finding joy everyday.

1. Put the humor in Life.
2. Practice Gratitude
3. Choose to be a giver than a taker
4. Live in the moment
5. Find the “bless in the mess”

You can read more details of “How to be Joyful No Matter What“. in “Cathy’s entry.

So what do I tell the newly bereaved? I will tell them that life is full of choices. Grief is inevitable but misery is optional. Every day, each of us decides how to spend our time–each hour, each minute, each second. Do I spend those moments grieving? Not all of them. As the years go by, I find fewer moments of grief and more moments of joyful activity. Trust God that we are going to be joyful

1. Inspite of
2. In the middle of
3. Even if

Joy has returned to my life and to my home.

housewife.jpgMy husband and I attended the third session of the Biblical Portrait of Marriage. The topic for the night was : Helper- The Role of the Wife. Helper means as in the one who assists, encourages and supports her husband. Not katulong (the literal translation of helper in Tagalog)

To our amazement, there were 2 biblical principles that we re-discovered that night. We only learned this after Pastor Larry finished his lecture.

Surprise! Surprise!

Me first!

The key priority of the wife is her husband, not her work, ministry or child. Somewhere along the way, I thought the children were the first priority because of their young age and innocence. Hubby can easily fend for himself, I thought. I was so wrong. Maybe I didn’t know how to balance my act. Only when the kids left for college did I re-focus energies on my husband. Well, it’s never too late. It’s precisely the reason that husbands are the first priority because children leave some day and we are left with each other . We’re even experiencing the semi-empty nest syndrome these days. The mere fact we’re attending a bible study on [tag]marriage[/tag] means we continue to strengthen our relationship as husband and wife.

And my husband’s discovery…

The wife is to actively “manage the house” under her husband’s authority. Remember how I mentioned that he is my co-homemaker. Hah, now he knows that managing the household is my duty. I think he grew up with the notion that a husband’s duty include management of the household. No wonder he takes on my job to do the grocery, plan the menu or what not. I let him be that way because he loves doing it. Lately, he’s been buying these home improvement magazines like “Real Homes” to plan on the interiors of our new home . I believe some men are gifted with home maker roles. We learned that in a healthy marriage, the wife should actively manage the house. Maybe after this session, he will give me free reign of my kitchen. hehe. I don’t mind.

Behind every great man there’s a great woman… and a

surprised mother-in-law (another entry some day) *wink*

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wedding2small.jpgLast week, Cathy invited us to join the Tuesday [tag]bible study[/tag], A Biblical Portrait of Marriage by noted Christian author and speaker Bruce Wilkinson. It drew my interest. The study covers six part series on diverse topics such as sex to spirituality, from in-laws to God’s laws where Dr. Wilkinson addresses couples at every level of maturity and happiness. It was only the second session then and we could still make it. I quickly messaged my dear husband in Google Talk but he gave me a lukewarm response “how far!! I’m lazy . I can only leave at 7:00 PM“. I was determined to convince him that night.

In my sweetest and loving mode, I cuddled close to him.

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galit.jpgI am angry at this person. If I was working on my recovery program, I wouldn’t get angry. If I was a good Christian, I wouldn’t feel [tag]angry[/tag]…. If I am really using the daily affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn’t be angry. Those are the old messages that seduces us into not feeling again. Anger is a part of life. We need not dwell in it but we can’t afford to ignore it. So why am I angry, you ask?

Without going into sordid details, it’s about my TV interviews and our grief journey. This person hasn’t even seen any of my TV interviews . This person just overheard it from someone. Who knows how that person related the interview? Yes , this person has no gender because this person could be anyone. Look, I don’t even want to appear on TV. I am a shy person. But after going through the Purpose Driven Life, I have learned that…

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I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” (John11:25,25)

noname.jpg

I’ve written this many times before. My 6 year old son placed so much faith in eternal life. A month before he died, he bounced up and down on his bed and yelled out loud. With joy and excitement…

“When I die, I will be alive again”

It gives me hope that one day Luijoe and my family will be reunited in heaven with God. [tag]Resurrection day[/tag] or [tag]Easter day[/tag] reminds us that we will have life after we die – a resurrected life in heaven for eternity with Jesus!

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)

Do you believe in eternal life? Do you believe that our life on earth is a temporary place and our real home is heaven?

May today remind us not only of our Lord’s resurrection but also that of our precious children. Happy Resurrection Day!