Hayden Kho and the Illness Defense

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““Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all.” Bill Clinton

Perhaps my husband is right after all. Hubby says in his blog entry, Dr. Hayden Kho Needs Help that “it’s undeniable that Kho is sick and needs professional help from his peers.” Atty. Lorna Kapunan, Hayden’s feisty lawyer mentioned something about Hayden’s admitted “perversity” is a sickness of which he is undergoing ““therapy and spiritual counseling.”

Well, Miriam Santiago isn’t buying that. She says that to prove insanity, you have to prove that a person is so far removed from reality that he no longer has a clear grasp of reality as all the rest of the community sees it”.

I don’t think Hayden is pleading insanity. Is it personality disorder (which may not be the same as mental illness)?

American Psychiatric Association, defines a personality disorder as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectation of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment.

Based on the above definition, I encounter mild cases of personality disorders with some people every now and then. Let’s see…

Concerned over a friend who can’t seem to keep a relationship? Shrinks say it’s some kind of borderline personality disorder.

What about that stark, raving mad driver that overtook your vehicle the other gave and gave you a dirty finger? Ooh road rage! And what do you know? It’s called “Road Rage Disorder” or intermittent explosive disorder.

mental health

Or that husband, an adult little boy that constantly acts out a need for mothering like he never grew up . Just like Peter Pan. Yes, it’s called the Peter Pan Syndrome, a pop-psychology term used to describe an adult male or female who is socially immature.

I read somewhere that Kris might have some sort of histrionic personality disorder . Why so? Individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder exhibit excessive emotionalism–a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner–and are attention seekers. Ah the reality TV drama!

My cousin had the shock of her life when she sat next to a guy jacking himself off in an FX as he smiled sheepishly at her direction. What a sicko. Doctors call it Frotteurism , a sexual disorder and a compulsion to rub ones self against strangers others in a sexual manner. Like exhibitionism and other impulse control disorders, frotteurism tends to involve a cycle of tension buildup that is relieved by acting out in ‘exciting’ ways.

There is practically a label for every strange personality disorder or mental illness out there.

It is not my place to speculate or diagnose Hayden’s “illness”. Kho’s camp said that the doctor was having some mental problems and was being treated by five psychiatrists and a psychologist since December 2008. While he is internalizing his own pain, Hayden realized that he caused unbearable shame to his ex-lovers through the secret recordings and proliferation of the sex videos. He regrets “everything that happened because of my poor judgment” apparently blaming drug addiction.

It’s difficult to feel compassion for a man who took sick pleasure in filming their sexual acts. I don’t really know what Hayden feels at this point but it’s never too late for him to change and make amends to those people he hurt in the past.

When one chooses to be in control of their lives and are committed to changing their lives, healing is possible. Therapy and medication may help, but it is one’s decision to take accountability for their own life that makes the difference. To heal, one must first have the desire to change in order to break through that enduring pattern of a personality disorder.

Whatever Hayden is feeling right now, this “illness” shouldn’t keep him from answering for his misdeeds in the courts. He should at least be made well enough to understand the gravity of his acts and be accountable for his actions. His “illness” is not an excuse to steer away from the law.

Noemi Lardizabal-Dado (1396 Posts)

You may contact Noemi (noemidado @ gmail.com) for speaking and consultancy services in the following areas: Parenting in the Digital Age (includes pro-active parenting on cyber-bullying and bullying) ; Social Business ; Reinventing One’s Life; and social media engagement. Our parenting workshop is called "Prep to Prime (P2P): Parenting in the Digital Age (An Un­Workshop)" P2P Un­Workshops are conducted by two golden women in their prime, Noemi and Jane, who have a century’s worth of experience between them. They are both accomplished professionals who chose to become homemakers. This 180­degree turn also put them on a different life course which includes blogging, social media engagement and citizen advocacy. They call their un­workshops Prep to Prime or P2P, for short, to emphasize the breadth of their parenting experience. They tackle different aspects and issues of parenting ­­ from managing pregnancies, prepping for the school years of children, dealing with househelp, managing the household budget, to maximizing one’s prime life and staying healthy through the senior years.