Touched by An Angel

24Oct 2013

My photos of the Mutianyu Great Wall of China

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“They did not know what we can now sense as we contemplate the course of history: that change begins in the soul before it shows in our lives…” ? Franz Kafka, The Great Wall of China

I had always known that the the Great Wall of China is acknowledged as the world’s most amazing man-made artifact and the world’s longest human-made structure. It ‘s been my dream to visit the Great Wall of China before my knees would give up on me. In fact, there is this famous Chinese proverb about the Great Wall, which says “Not been on the Great Wall, not a great man”. A year ago, I was lucky to purchase plane tickets to fulfil this dream to travel with my husband to Beijing and see the Great Wall which is full of history . I had no idea what part of the Great Wall I would travel but fate was on my side because I chanced upon Janice post on Throwback Travel post: Memories of China where she recommended the Mutianyu portion. Further research showed that Mutianyu is much farther than the famous Badaling Section, and this section of the Great Wall gives a more fantastic view. They also said this section had fewer tourists than the Badaling section.

Butch and I were terribly excited to finally walk the Great Wall. I hired the services of Tristan, the same personal tour guide that Janice used in her trip. The one hour and a half ride to the Mutianyu Great Wall had such a spectacular view of willow trees, farm land, blue skies and cool weather. When we arrived at the Great Wall parking area by 10:30 AM, there were already too many tourist buses causing a jam. If there that many tourists in Badaling, then you can imagine what it is like in Badaling. Just make sure to leave the city early.

October is a great time to travel to Beijing. Though the weather was cool, it was comfortable enough to travel. The entrance fee is 45 RMB and as our tour guide bought tickets, I checked out the market but wasn’t too excited about it. I wanted to be at the Great Wall. I didn’t want to hike all the way to the top so we chose the cable car to bring us to the top. The walk up to the cable car station is steep and full of market vendors but you can choose to ride the elevator.

I thought the cable ride (80 Yuan each) would be nerve wracking but it wasn’t that bad. I got distracted by the breathtaking view.

Spotting the Great Wall from the cable car , I left my fear of heights behind. Using the cable car brings us to Section 14 of Mutianyu Great Wall.

There is a landing for tourists to mill around before the tower.

I expected a lot walking so I wore comfortable sneakers. Indeed , the wall is hilly with lots of stairs.

I could have chosen this path to go to the wall but I chose to climb the steps to the tower.

I just stood there as I marveled at the grandeur around me. I started to imagine what it was like in 220 BC when the wall was being built.

The beauty of the surrounding mountains and wall compelled both of us to just stand there and gaze and of course, take photos of ourselves.

It is difficult to explain how beautiful the wall is as you gaze at the graceful curves of the wall lying on top of these mountains.

All I could think of was the amount of men and time spent in building this structure under cold weather conditions.

Some portions were really steep so I just watched Butch from the tower as he walked off to the next tower.

Looking down , I called him out to take a photo of me.

SNAP (That’s me on the left side)

There are no words left for me to describe how beautiful the Great Wall of China is. I am glad we kept taking photos of each other to remind us that we actually were here.

Walking can be quite challenging as the steps are uneven but all I did was take it one step at a time. It is also a good reason to stop , turn and look around.

We stayed three hours on the wall which is enough time to explore and contemplate about the majesty of this centuries old structure.

Butch helps an American tourist haggle a shirt from 80 Yuan to just 50 Yuan.

I could ramble on and on about the Great Wall. My photos will never do justice to one of the Seven Wonders of the world so you just have to come to Beijing to see it. One of the places in the world I’ve dreamt to see and the experience didn’t let me down. I’ve heard about the Great Wall my whole life and to finally be there was so amazing. Be ready to do some serious hiking if you go there but it is definitely worth it.

The quote “You aren’t a great man until you’ve been to the Great Wall” also means our time here on Earth is not that long and we better make the best of it.

22Oct 2013

A breakup story a long time ago

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Knowing about two couples breaking up the past month brought me back to a similar breakup 30 years ago. My own breakup story.

I was twenty five years old, at the peak of my career while my twenty-two year old boyfriend ( who is incidentally my husband) was just a Freshman in Law school. Being together for almost six years at that time, I thought it was really us , together and forever. I had been hinting the past months that I wanted to get married one day. Yes , hinting or did I sound like “hey let’s get married or else”.

I must have been more in love with Butch than he was in love with me. Head over heels in love. He was after all , very handsome, rugged, funny and smart. On January 1984, he declared he wanted to break up with me because it has always been me, me and me. He wanted to be a free man. As he started blurting the dreaded break-up words , all I could think of was “oh no, he found another girl more beautiful than me”. Pride didn’t want me to ask that question. I calmly took in his words and we parted.

I had written my thoughts in my diary a month after:

“I miss Butch…it’s been a month since we broke off…how can I learn to forget him? how…tell me how my dear God? I’m hurting all over…nothing is work working anymore…I don’t know where I should go. All my dreams were meant for Butch…now, I have to start all over again. I’m hoping we’ll talk on February 14. If by then, he’s not around, it’s over and I should brace myself and be strong. Meanwhile I ‘ll just cry a little and miss…miss…miss him and hurt….hurt…hurt…It will take time but I can be strong. I just need some strength to weather this emotional crisis. It’ll be better.”

He didn’t show up on Valentine’s day and I knew it was over. I had written a letter in my diary but I think it was more to release the pain in my heart.

Dear Butch,

Happy Valentine’s day! It’s a day for celebrating love. ALthough we may be apart for good, I just want you to know that I love you….

And I kept crushing out so many words in that unsent letter. I had not only lost a boyfriend but a best friend. Heartbroken, I’d write his name over and over again in my diary like a crazy idiot.

I decided to be busy that summer. Nursing a broken heart starts with taking care of your body. I jogged around the Oval of the UP Diliman campus every afternoon and at night , my officemates and I swam at the nearby pool. It felt good to be energized and pushing the limits of my stamina. My waist line shrunk to 23 inches that I had to replenish my closet with a new wardrobe. I felt like saying to Butch “Look at what you missed”. My boss often asked me Anong nangyari sa school bus mo? (“what happened to your school bus?” ) , referring to Butch who often picked me up from work. I shrugged, giving him an indifferent smirk but inside I was crying. It hurts.

The important lesson I learned that summer was taking care of myself . I allowed myself a couple of days and even weeks to mope around and cry, just feeling sorry for myself. There came a time to start snapping out of it. I learned that the most important person is ME and not my ex. I believe it is really important to love ourselves first. To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves.

The breakup was a good excuses for a fresh start. It was fun giving myself a makeover, and indulging into sports. It gave me a sense of fulfilment and a big burst of confidence. Time really heals all wounds. The pain I felt that February , a month after the breakup didn’t last forever, even if it felt like it will.

Just when I was getting over my broken heart, Butch came back into my life six months after the breakup. I spotted a dozen roses by the door partly covering his handsome face. I felt my heart bursting and my face flushing.

My boss was yelling,Yari na ang school bus ( “THE SCHOOL BUS IS FIXED!”)

To those in similar breakup stories , I am not saying it will lead to a happy ending. It did lead to a better me.

Just hang in there – it’ll get easier. I promise.

21Oct 2013

Gabay Guro throws the biggest tribute for teachers

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“One good teacher in a lifetime may sometimes change a delinquent into a solid citizen.” Philip Wylie

Don’t we all remember the teachers who influenced us when we were children? When I think of teachers, I remember my dad Jose P. Lardizabal (Accounting / MBA teacher) and mom, Salustiana Veloso (English and Speech teacher). I knew the students under my parents were appreciative of their education because they would often rush up to greet them during our family days out. I like it when hard-working teachers are given recognition . Teachers lay the foundation for future generations. The knowledge, values and attitudes they imparted in us made us what we are today, together with the family values. Many times, we never have the opportunity to thank them for their positive impact in our lives. Now, however belatedly we have a chance to give due recognition to those who personify the best qualities of the profession. National Teachers’ Month provides such opportunities where each of us can take time to honor our teachers. Even companies and school give their own tribute.

For instance, the PLDT-Smart Foundation’s Gabay Guro (2G) is throwing the biggest tribute ever for our beloved teachers as it celebrates Teachers Month through a grand gathering on Oct. 26 at the MOA Arena.

Hosted by no less than TV 5 artists Edu Manzano and Derek Ramsay , the annual Grand Gathering breaks the so-called network-exclusivity “barrier” as it will also feature performances by the country’s biggest celebrities from both ABS-CBN and GMA-7. Among them – Ryzza Mae, Anne Curtis, Judy Ann Santos, Marian Rivera, Martin Nievera, Pops Fernandez and Rocco Nacino. The Gabay Guro team, led by PLDT-Smart Foundation Chairman of the Board of Trustees Manny V. Pangilinan and 2G Chairman Ms. Chaye Cabal-Revilla, will be there to lend their invaluable support to the teachers.

Not only will the teachers get to be honored by the celebrities and honored guests but a big surprise awaits them —a house and lot courtesy of Stateland, Inc. and a brand-new Foton L200 van – for the two luckiest teachers this year. Other prizes up for grabs are livelihood program packages and cash gifts.

Gabay Guro is an education arm and a flagship project of the PLDT-SMART Foundation. It is a program run by volunteers composed of executives from the PLDT Manager’s Club Inc. (PLDT MCI). It is the brainchild of MVP’s VP for Finance, Ms. Chaye Cabal-Revilla, and is supported by the PLDT-Smart Foundation of the Manny V. Pangilinan group.

For the last six years, Gabay Guro has been in the business of “changing the lives of those who changed ours” by focusing on the core program of the foundation benefiting the Filipino teachers. The core program is defined by the pillars by which Gabay Guro is anchored on – Scholarships, Trainings, Housing and Educational Facilities, Livelihood Programs, Broadbanding and Computerization and Teachers’ Tribute.

The Teachers honored on this day will surely appreciate the Gabay Guro efforts. Each one of us can still offer our own tribute. The best way to honor to the teachers in our lives is to honor their lessons, the lessons they imparted to us by living a life according to their teachings.

For more information, please visit the Gabay Guro official website, www.gabayguro.com and like the Facebook Page www.facebook.com/gabayguro or follow us on Twitter @GabayGuro, where you can also have a chance to get tickets to the prestigious Grand Gathering at the MOA Arena on Oct. 26.

17Oct 2013

Ford Focus: Caring for Tomorrow

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

There was a time that if you wanted to drive a powerful, responsive, head-turning car, you had to sacrifice a lot in terms of safety. Living, and driving, dangerously was the allure. You would take your chances with a less than safe vehicle as long as you could ride like the wind.

A survey commissioned by Ford shows over 90 percent of drivers in the Philippines think they are safe drivers, but 40 percent admit they engage in unsafe driving habits. Respondents admitted to the following unsafe behaviors while driving:

1. Using mobile phones – Taking a call while driving (63%), Reading/Sending SMS while driving (59%), Searching for a contact in the address book (53%)
2. Violations – Racing the yellow light (47%), Exceeding Speed Limits (43%)
3. Distractions – Eating and/or drinking while driving (73%)

As a mom, I want to make sure my family is safe whether at home or inside the vehicle so I am always in the lookout for safety features.

The Ford Focus Experience

With the new Ford Focus, the thrill of a fast and lively car is matched with a combination of smart technologies and cutting-edge safety features which adds another dimension to the already impressive Ford driving experience. You can now be speedy and safe.

I recently had a chance to take the all-new 2.0L Ford Focus Sport+ for a spin, and I was floored from the get-go. The yellow-olive paint job was distinctive enough but that was just the beginning.

The interiors are plush, more so than other cars in its class I have ever seen. The front seats were comfy, with ample headroom and legroom. I took in all the nifty bells and whistles as I settled in. The Focus has hands-free, voice-activated in-car technology using the Ford SYNC, an integrated in-vehicle communications and entertainment system that allows the driver to make hands-free telephone calls, control music and perform other functions with the use of voice commands, radio controls and even the car’s steering wheel. Automobile connectivity has never been this comprehensive. It took a little time to get familiar with, but the friendly staff of Ford Libis were more than helpful in pointing out all the features. The Focus even had an 9-speaker (count!) stereo system. I could hardly wait to take it out on the road.

The Focus Sport+ is powered by a four-cylinder, 2.0 liter engine which gives it more than adequate punch for its package. Matched with a 6-speed automatic transmission (convertible to manual by the push of a button), its nimble handling is a must for the workday urban driver going through the daily grind of metro traffic. But it can also deliver on the open road with an estimated top speed of close to 200 kph, although there was no need to push it. At 100 kph at the SLEX, there was enough excitement for everyone on board.

What is most impressive though is all the smart features, beginning with keyless entry and the Power Start button. You don’t even have to bring the electronic key out of your bag or pocket. Sensors around the car detect the key fob and automatically lock or unlock the car when you touch the door handle.

The Ford Focus Sport + also has Active Park Assist, a godsend for those of me who has never mastered the art of parallel parking. With just one click of a button, the Focus will actively search for available parking spots and sensors around the car will steer it into the parking spot perfectly. The driver still has full control of the accelerator and brake, but the car does all the heavy hand-eye coordination. The wheels actually pivot the car into place. This is a priceless stress-reliever.

What clinches the deal for the Ford Focus is its safety features. It has Front Dual and Side and Curtain Airbags. Its Active City Stop feature is a collision-mitigation system which monitors the road ahead for stationary traffic and automatically brakes if sensors detect that the vehicle in front has stopped suddenly. The car also has a Blind Spot Information System (BLIS), which is an orange light which appears on the side mirrors and the dashboard car outline as a caution of unseen hazards. And when backing up of a parking spot with limited visibility, the system warns the driver of impending traffic from either side.

The car has an integrated Electronic Stability Program system that monitors the vehicle’s progress and applies effective, though subtle and almost imperceptible interventions in the braking system and uphill-climb mode. These electronically-assisted improvements in event reaction times adds a great deal of confidence to your everyday driving.

And to round off the overall experience, the Focus also has dual-zone, electronic automatic temperature control climate controlled air-conditioning, automatic headlamps, cruise control, sun-roof and an innovative rear-view mirror that automatically detects and reduces headlight glare.

Safety and style, efficiency, technology and comfort, all go hand-in-hand in the all-new Ford Focus.

A tour for the Caring for Tomorrow campaign

Ford Philippines launches the “Caring for Tomorrow” campaign to promote public awareness and safe driving habits, and to invite drivers to pledge to drive safely for their loved ones.

There will be a sneak peak to future safety and driver assist technologies at Bonifacio Global City, Manila on October 25 and 26, showcasing how innovative technologies can benefit drivers and offer a safer lifestyle choice.

Through an interactive exhibit called “Caring for Tomorrow” Tour, visitors will experience first-hand the premium advanced features and technologies that Ford is making available across its model range. The Caring for Tomorrow Tour is the first of its kind in Southeast Asia and the Philippines is the first market to launch it.

09Oct 2013

I Think, Therefore I am

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 4 Comments

Treat yourself like you already are what you would like to become”Wayne Dyer

You know the saying bilib sa sarili (Believe in oneself) can come off as conceited or even narcissistic. Yet, I practice it all the time. Believing that I am actually a confident person until I actually become more confident.

Four years ago, while making preparations for the launch of Blogwatch.ph, I asked Jane if she could be the emcee.

Jane: I am not a public person kasi, Noemi
me: me too! but I pretend I am.

I am a very shy and quiet person. You can ask any of my high school classmates. Even my high school teacher mistook me for my sister, who is the more sociable person. Yes, I was such a forgettable person. I kept to myself most of the time.

To practice confidence, I act as if. It’s a positive form of pretending. It’s a useful tool to use to get ourselves unstuck. For many years, I isolated from friends . During the rare social gatherings I attended, I forgot how to initiate small talk. It’s like friends or relatives talked to a blank wall. The only persons I socialized were close family members. I realized the gravity of my people skills when I joined a parent’s group of my daughter’s colllege and I couldn’t say a word. I knew I needed to wake up from my zombie state.

I forced myself into positive recovery behaviors, disregarding my doubts and fears, until my feelings caught up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. I did not have to lie or be dishonest with myself. I acted as if I could speak up in public until I actually gained self- confidence and started to open up. When I started The Compassionate Friends, I was suddenly thrown into the media. The first interview and TV guest appearance terrified me. But how else will my mission get promoted? Acting as if I was confident enabled me to get through with these media exposure.

Along with my grief advocacy, I became a blogger at 48 years old and suddenly caught in the public eye. I never imagined becoming a blogger, and using my blogs to raise online campaign. I did not lose focus on my reasons for blogging.

There are times I lose my confidence. I once told Malou Mangahas that I felt inadequate that I am not a great writer during the PCIJ Training and she just nudged at me “ikaw talaga”.

Each time I face my fears, I gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.

So here I am again using my faith that as a mom blogger , I can help push for the three main goals of the #scrapPork network: Abolish the pork barrel system in all forms, accountability of all those who used their pork and to investigate and prosecute those that misused their pork. It is a long battle but with the help of the network, I am confident the goals will be achieved.

If my mind can conceive the mission, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve success. The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what I am afraid to do.

I think I am confident, therefore I am confident.

““Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go so much further than people with vastly superior talent.” Sophia Loren

20Sep 2013

Never again a country of “40 million cowards and one son of a bitch”

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

I always tell stories to my children about high school and college life during martial law. I was 15 years old when Proclamation 1081 was declared by former President Ferdinand Marcos on September 21, 1972. My folks seemed overjoyed by the news. The administration did a great job brainwashing the old folks that the country was in turmoil and thus, Martial Law needed to be declared. I didn’t know it then, of course.

I felt a bit alarmed that any house could be raided for “subversive materials. Any reading material might be “subversive in the eyes of the military. Dad probably wanted to protect us so he bought books and magazines that were pro-Marcos. Soon after Marcos declared martial law, one American high-ranking official described the Philippines as a country composed “of 40 million cowards and one son of a bitch otherwise, he reasoned they should have risen against the destroyer of their freedom.

A youth during Martial Law

I spent most of my teenage years under the veil of martial law. Dad and Mom warned me that the moment my sister and I joined rallies and demonstrations in UP Diliman, it was back to Cebu. They didn’t know it then but my sister and I joined lightning rallies. Student issues centered on Marcos, the dictator, Academic Freedom and the role of Iskolar ng Bayan in the midst of Martial Law.

I remember my first rally was in Luneta Park on May 1, 1976. I forgot who organized it now. All I remember was holding hands with my pretend-boyfriend in Luneta Park. If you know Rico J. Puno’s version of “The Way We Were“, the pretend situation brought me to stitches.

Ohhh Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
And if we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we, could we

Alaala, ng tayo’y mag-sweetheart pa
Namamasyal pa sa Luneta
Nang walang pera

So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were
Doo do do do do dooo

The organizers told us to be lovey-dovey and pretend to be sweethearts. I guess this was needed so that the police will not be suspicious of any illegal assembly. At a certain signal, a group of a hundred students would all chant Marcos, Hitler, diktador, tuta and converge in front of the Rizal Monument. Today, this would have been the “flash mob”. Those days, immediate arrest was inevitable. I thought it was a giddy adventure oblivious of the danger of being arrested. Raising our fists, stomping our feet around Luneta and chanting Marcos, Hitler, diktador, tuta around ten times, we dispersed amidst the growing crowd. Makibaka, huwag matakot! Makibaka, huwag matakot! It was an exhilarating experience and I could feel the adrenalin rush as we ran towards the Quiapo side streets. The police were just behind our back. Too close for comfort.

I pushed my luck once too many until one day, I got trapped along with some UP students inside an auto shop near Adamson University. It was Human Rights day. To make myself incognito, I wrapped my head with a scarf and wore large sunglasses. Sadly, the police were wiser now. They used the fire hose to disperse us and also to corner us into one place. So there I was with my friends waiting for the truck to haul us to Camp Crame. Maybe divine intervention prevailed upon us due in part to the intercession of the St. Theresa’s Colege nuns because suddenly, we were all released. There was a hitch though. Our photos needed to taken by the Intelligence. I complied, of course.

To make matters worse, my dad found out about the near-arrest. To this day, I don’t know how he found out. The military intelligence must have informed him. Or the moles so prevalent during those days. Dad told my sister and I Stop attending those demos or go home. This time, I obeyed because I valued my education at the State University.

Reminding the youth about Martial Law

I am lucky because I never got detained or tortured unlike some of my friends. My heart broke every time I heard news of my schoolmates in detention. It angered me that traitors were around us waiting to report subversives to the military. My brother was once detained for taking photos of policemen taking down streamers of the activists. Imagine that happening to us right now. I tell these stories to my children so they value their freedom, remember the horrors of martial law and to never let it happen again. The youth born after the People Power revolution need to know about the “human rights violation, the muzzling of the press and the curtailment of freedom during the Martial Law era.

The youth need to know how Ferdinand Marcos “fooled the Filipino people into believing that Martial Law was needed in the whole country, even if the troubles were only of political nature. The biggest loser was Press Freedom. Newspapers, TV and radio outlets were shut down and eventually turned over to be owned and operated by Marcos cronies.

“Let the lessons of martial law always teach us to value our freedom and democracy. Let us always remember the sacrifice, the blood, sweat and tears borne by those who were willing to fight so that future generations may live to enjoy life free from oppression. We must honor them by ensuring that, no matter what, we must all stand united to protect our democracy and willing to make our own sacrifices. We must also ensure that justice will be served for the victims of martial law against the oppressors and the guilty.

Sometimes I feel Martial Law never really left us, as if it is ingrained in our culture. Take the alarming case of extra-judicial killings that are left unresolved. ONE PERCENT (1.05 percent) of these incidents of heinous killings has ended in the conviction of the people who were responsible. This “one percent success rate in solving these crimes is an absolute embarrassment and we Filipinos should band together to make sure that this changes.

Nothing has really changed for the better since democracy was restored in 1986. The same “old people are still in power, a lot of government officials still usurp power to enrich themselves, and the Filipino is still where he was .. maybe even worse.”

Martial Law was indeed a dark part of our history but we have to be reminded of it only because we need to honor those who fought and fell to restore democracy then and now. We need to let the evils of Martial law out of our system. Are we going to allow ourselves to be called a nation of 95 million cowards, this time around?

Never again to Martial Law!

Justice for the victims of Martial Law and human rights violations!

The photo was taken by Reuben, my late brother who was one of those who fought hard for our freedom and democracy during martial law.

Photo by Reuben Veloso Lardizabal. Some Rights Reserved

18Sep 2013

Work, play, relax and enjoy: Work-Life Balance

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Working at home has its perks. It is not as stressful as being cooped up in the office. I can be flexible and relaxed without being pressed for deadlines. My usual routine consists of watching the news on TV and multi-tasking with my Macbook. When I just want a major distraction and activities that require less physical requirements, I turn to Bingo and Facebook games. It helps me zone out when I am stressed or just want to be still. After all, twitter engagement can get so intense that it just tires me out.

One of my earliest childhood memories were bingo parties my parents hosted at home and I still play it today as an adult. Since bingo doesn’t require any special skills and it’s very simple to understand and learn, it’s an ideal game if you just want to sit back, relax and have some fun. According to FoxyBingo on Facebook, there are about 60 million players in the U.S. alone and it’s making a strong come back through the popularity of online games. Bingo is no longer limited to charity events and churches, but is now a permanent and ever growing fixture in the online scene. What makes it perfect for anyone who works from home is that you can leave anytime you want. It doesn’t require you to invest a specific amount of time and allows you to be flexible while looking for that perfect balance between work and life.

One good example of this is Pet Society. I had real kitties as pets so I am quite drawn to pet games. In Pet Society, I played games, decorated my house and even brought gifts to my Facebook friends when I visited them. Now, I didn’t know that my adorable little Siamese kitty would enjoy it as much as I do. The game died a natural death because you have to be constantly online to be a good pet owner, which I already am with my real pets.

And of course, I have never forgotten the board games. Board games made up a huge chunk of my childhood days. I still recall my dad coming home from work with these board games such as Chinese checkers, Snake and Ladder, and Scrabble. During the martial law days, there was the Game of Generals. I don’t know if they still have them these days. My children too, played endless games of Monopoly, Boggle, and Clue. To this day, I notice my children enjoy playing board games with their friends; every now and then aside from their usual online games. I like how they combine board games and online games as a fun way to be with their friends after a long week at work. Some day, I’d like for them to take up bingo and continue a good tradition.

Everyone should learn how to take some time off, relax after work or even pause in between work assignments. Stress will always be there as things don’t always go our way. Playing bingo online or offline games is just one of the many ways I do to calm my body, mind and spirit. I make sure my mind handles stress smartly and effectively by doing great things to take the stress away.

13Sep 2013

Thirteen Ways to Improve Your Life

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 12 Comments

Positive thinking is something I had to re-learn as family tragedies befell one after the other. With 5 deaths in my immediate family (including my son), it might seem I am immune to pain. It never gets easier. Along the way, I learned to improve my life, change and reinvent myself. Allow me to share (rehash) some of my recovery principles which may or may not be useful to you but worked for me.

1. Say Thank You everyday. Practice Gratitude. Everyday , I face interruptions, delays, changes and challenges. I have learned an important concept to get me through this stressful time and that is gratitude. I learn to say thank you, for all these problems and feelings. I don’t like this experience but Thank You anyway. I had to force gratitude until it became second nature to me. Gratitude helped me stop trying to control outcomes. Gratitude makes things right. It is the key that unlocked positive energy in my life.

2. Live life one day at a time which requires so much faith in us. Look ahead to make future plans. Don’t look back at the past unless healing from the past is part of today’s work. We focus on this day’s activity, living it to the best of our ability.

3. Love and Nurture Yourself. Nurturing is about how we show love for ourselves. I needed a loving relationship with myself that works so I can have a loving relationship with others that work.

4. Avoid Gossip. Direct , clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for good feelings about ourselves and our relationship with others. Gossiping about another for motives of diminishing him or her in order to build up themselves or to judge the person hurts friendships in the end. I resolved that I will resist and place boundaries when I am faced with another gossip.

5. Happiness is in your Hands. Healing comes when we are aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from our past. We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well-being have been in our hands.

6. Practice healthy and loving tolerance. When I learned healthy and loving tolerance, I learned tolerance for others. I also learned that the humanness I tolerated is what makes myself and others beautiful. There are some things I do not tolerate. I do not tolerate abusive behaviors or destructive behaviors towards others or myself.

7. There is a time to feel anger and a time to let it go.. Anger is a part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out but we can’t afford to ignore it. In recovery, I have learned that I can shamelessly feel all my feelings including anger, and still take responsibility for what I do when I feel angry. I don’t have to let anger control me but it surely will if I prevent myself from feeling it.

8. Laughter is the best medicine. Even just the expectation of a mirthful laughter involved in watching your favorite funny movie has some very surprising and significant neuroendocrine/hormone effects. Earlier experiments showed that viewing a favorite funny video can offset symptoms of chronic stress, which can suppress various components of the immune responses, particularly those related to anti-viral and anti-tumor defenses.

9. Turn pain into something positive. Help others. Start an advocacy , a cause, a charity. Helping others can both help you and the person who is in pain.

10. Set boundaries. I can love my family or friends but refuse their efforts to manipulate, control or produce guilt in me. I can learn to be assertive with family members without being aggressive. I can set the boundaries I need with them without being disloyal to the family or the friend. I can learn to love my friends and family without forfeiting love and respect for myself.

11 Take Financial Responsibility for ourselves. Each of us today, has a financial future. There are few future aspects of my life I can control, but one part I can play to assist our family’s future is setting goals. I don’t have to obsess about my goals. I don’t have to constantly watch and mark our progress toward them.Taking responsibility for my finances enable me to take focus off money. It frees me to do my work and live the life I want. I deserve to have the self-esteem and peace that accompanies financial responsibility.

12. Love God as you understand God. I learned that recovery is an intensely spiritual process that prods us to grow in our understanding of God . My understanding of God is based on my Catholic upbringing that God is real. Loving. God is Good. The more I turned my mind and heart to a positive understanding of God, the more God validates me. Whether one is a Christian, non-Christian or Atheists, I will respect their own understanding of God as well as my own. I will not allow others’ judgement of my beliefs to cause me anxiety or distress.

13. . Practice as IF. To practice the positive, I act as if. It’s a positive form of pretending. It’s a useful tool to use to get ourselves unstuck. Now, when a problem haunts me, acting as if can helps me get unstuck. I act as if the problem will be or already is solved so I can go on with my daily routine.

Do you have other ways that helped improve your life?

04Sep 2013

Secret to a long life

by webs ⋅ 2 Comments

PEOPLE who smile a lot and say “have a nice day” are headed to an early grave while the grumpy stay fit.

Psychologists at Frankfurt University cite flight attendants, sales personnel, call centre operators, waiters and others in contact with the public for extended periods of time as being at risk of seriously harming their health. The people-pleasers are also in danger.

With over 40,000 call center agents in the Philippines, I assume most employers implement some sort of de-stressing activities for their employees especially during the break. or not? It must be tough for customer service workers to keep a gleaming smile with a friendly voice all day long. Especially when dealing with whiny and bitchy customers. I know all they have to do is detach themselves from their customers and let it go.

It used to bother me when people around me create havoc with their crabby attitudes. Negative vibes shatter my mental frame of mind. Then I learned that we can’t change people and that we are in control of our own attitudes. It takes practice to believe that “this person is having a problem. I’m not. So don’t get riled up, okay? Let it go.” This is a recovery principle which I work constantly with this Serenity Prayer.

There is a longer version ( from Ireland)

God take and receive my liberty,
my memory, my understanding and will,
All that I am and have He has given me

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference

Living one day at a time
Enjoying one moment at a time
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it

Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to his will
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy in the next. AMEN

02Sep 2013

How Are You Feeling?

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Numb feelings. That was my defense mechanism during the peak of my grief. I needed to shut down the emotional part of myself to survive the unspeakable grief that befell my family. I shut down the part of me that felt anger, sadness, fear, joy and perhaps, love. It was an unhealthy move.

It is okay to have and feel our feelings. All of Them.

During my rebellious teen-age years, the outspoken me often got a tongue-lashing from my parents for verbalizing my feelings. I lived in the old-fashioned parenting style where parents refused to tolerate my emotions. I got shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings and I don’t blame them. Their own parents taught them to repress their own.

Times have changed. It is okay now to acknowledge and accept our emotions. I don’t allow my emotions to control me though, neither do I need to repress my feelings in a rigid fashion. My emotional center forms a valuable part of my physical wellness, my thinking and spirituality.

Last night, my husband rolled over to my side of the bed, hugged me and sighed “I’m sad”. I cuddled him in my arms and reassured him “it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to let it go too”. I understand his sadness. I know that sweet memories of my beloved son always triggers grief. It is the grief pattern of most bereaved parents no matter how many years have elapsed. We know the these waves of profound sadness can just happen any time of the month no matter if years have passed.

It is not a sign of weakness nor deficiency for indulging in our feelings. It means we’re becoming healthy and whole. I know there will come a point when this temporary sadness will move on to reflect happy feelings. There will be days that I’ll be upset but then I know that I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I allow myself to tune in to the emotional part of myself.

What about you? Don’t just say Mad, Sad or Glad,

Here are a list of feeling words and expressions that can be used to more accurately describe what is going on in your heart, mind and body

Words and phrases which reflect feeling upset:

Unhappy, disappointed, distressed, disappointed, disturbed, saddened, troubled, offended, displeased, mourning, grieving, mixed up, out of balance, disorganized, dismayed, wounded, troubled, weepy, letdown, confused, out of synch, inner turmoil, shook up, lonely, afraid, worried, concerned,

Words and phrases which reflect happy feelings:

Pleased, full of joy, giggly, pleasure, satisfied, contented, grateful, hopeful, enthusiastic, cheerful, optimistic, in high spirits, blissful, exultant, cheerful, on cloud nine, lucky, blessed, fortunate, delighted, thankful, relieved.

How are you feeling today?

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