Happy New year 2019, Hello Page 1 of 365

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It is just the two of us, the four cats and our trusted helpers as we got ready to welcome the New Year. Listening to Auld Lang Syne and tooting our horns, my husband and I reflected what we needed to focus this year and let bygones be bygones. The end of a year often signals new beginnings. Auld Lang Syne is traditionally sung at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve in Scotland and around the world, especially in English-speaking countries. My husband loves to listen to this song. Listen:

As we tooted our horns, our boxer howled along with us as if saying Goodbye 2018. We were so amused at our dog’s howling.

I thought we would just hear the tooting of horns but instead, the sound of firecrackers from the neighbors surprised us all. We waited for 2019 to arrive, and cheered the New Year along with our toast of sparkling juice.

The next day, I was so excited to write on page 1 of my new planner. Its pages are still blank. I know I am going to put words on them myself in the coming days. Yes, this is a book called “Make today magical” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. I scribbled a note on January 1, 2019 and greeted everyone a happy new year . The 2019 Belle De Jour Power Planner is usually used by the young ones. I don’t care. It is cute and I love the food for thought — usually something inspirational, partnered with pretty artwork.

When I wonder what is coming, I tell myself the best is coming, the very best in life has to to offer, the best God will send and claim it as mine.

Happy New Year, everyone. A blessing becomes a blessing when spoken. So I declare that you are blessed with a loving family, good health, faith, favor, promotion and provision. A blessed New Year to you and your family!

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through.

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To all my visitors, may you have a Blessed Christmas. May the warmth and love of family and friends that make the holiday season so memorable. May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through. Merry Christmas everyone.

Peace and Joy to all.

From the Dado Family

To those who have lost a child, here is a poem for you:

Christmas message
Luijoe’s last Christmas with us, 1999

Twas the month before Christmas
and I dreaded the days,
That I knew I was facing the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers
by day and by night.
As others were making their holiday plans,
My heart was breaking – I couldn’t understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holiday had in store.
When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around,
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of the day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment this wasn’t by chance.
The hope that they gave me was a sign from above,
That my child was still near me and that I was loved.
The message they brought was my holiday gift,
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.
As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it – as if it knew –
That I needed the touch of its fragile wings,
To help me get through the holiday scene.
In the days that followed I carried the thought,
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart –
That no matter what happens or what days lie ahead,
Our children are with us – they’re not really dead.
Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings in my ears,
A message of hope – a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of sight,
“To all bereaved parents – We love you tonight!”

By Faye McCord

christmas message

Luijoe and my family, 1998

No Christmas Tree?

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The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
-W. C. Jones

antiChristmasTree
““I have not put up any Christmas ornaments for the past 19 years. Never! What for when my family is not here. I cannot enjoy Christmas without them,” a bereaved parent once said.

He is not alone in his feelings. It is difficult to celebrate what once were beautiful, happy days. I remember how my husband dreaded Christmas day, the first without our son. He didn’t like to see the Christmas tree but I placed it anyway because I had two girls looking forward to Christmas day which has always been a joyful day to celebrate. I am thankful I opened my heart to my children and allowed them to help me embrace Christmas that year. In doing so, we renewed our strength and spirit together and we found the courage we needed to go on and enjoy life. It wasn’t the same reaction with my husband. It took him five more years to let Christmas come back to his life. And that was the year he learned that life can become good and whole and complete once again.

Why does Christmas or the holidays just make it difficult?

While most of the world seems to be addressing holiday greeting cards and planning holiday menus, the bereaved are struggling with other concerns: HOW LONG DOES GRIEF LAST? WILL THE HOLIDAYS ALWAYS BE THIS AWFUL? WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE EMPTY PLACE AT THE TABLE? WHAT IS THERE TO BE THANKFUL FOR THIS YEAR?

For many, Christmas is a special time of year. Although pretty packages and twinkling lights are the window dressing for this exciting festivity, it is the warmth and love of family and friends that make the holiday season so memorable. It can be a painful time for those experiencing the recent loss of a loved one.

I know there are others out there feeling similar losses.

If you are facing Christmas alone for the first time, I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust and share your feelings with them. Devote a place and time before Christmas Day in which you can openly honor your loved one and acknowledge your feelings. On Christmas Day, intentionally set your focus on family and friends who not only share in your loss, but who bring precious gifts of love and support to aid in your healing journey.

How To Help Yourself Through The Holidays

sad_happy_face_christmas_card

At this time you will be acutely aware of the voids in your life. You may find yourself wishing to go straight from December 24 to December 26; it is hard to continually hear Christmas carols playing and people saying ““Merry Christmas”, or to see the perfect gift and realize the person is no longer alive to enjoy it.

Here are some suggestions that may help to make your holiday season a little easier.

1. Family gatherings may be extremely difficult. Be honest with each other about your feelings; sit down and decide what you all want to do for the holiday season. Don’t set expectations too high for yourself or other family members on that day.

2. There is no right or wrong way to handle the day. Some people prefer to follow family traditions, while others decide to change them . It may help to do things just a little differently. Remember, what you choose to do this time can always be changed next year.

3. Be careful of “shoulds” it is better to do what feels best for you and your family, not what you or others think you should do. Give yourself permission to not do things. Once you have decided how your family will handle the holidays, let others know.

4. Do the Christmas preparations that you enjoy and look for alternatives for those you don’t. For example, this year you could buy baked goods, let others bake for you or do without.

5. Holidays are tiring; get lots of rest. You will need every bit of your strength.

6. If you decide to decorate your home, let children, other family members or friends help you. It’s okay to do something different, or to do no decorating at all.

7. How do you respond to “Merry Christmas”? You could say ““best wishes to you” or ““thank you”. Think of how you might answer ahead of time.

8. For Christmas dinner, you may decide to visit relatives or friends this year. If you have dinner at home, try changing the menu, the time or the room. You may want to be involved in preparing the meal, or not.

9. Be gentle with yourself and don’t expect too much. If you cry, don’t let that ruin the day for you. It may allow others to grieve and feel sad on a “happy” day.

10. Consider cutting back or not sending Christmas cards this year. It is not essential to send cards, especially to those people you will see over the holidays.

11. As the holiday approaches, share you concerns, feelings and apprehensions with someone. Let them know what is difficult for you; accept their offers of help. Holidays often magnify feelings of loss; allow yourself to experience the sadness that comes.

12. Christmas shopping can be upsetting and it may help you to shop early, to shop by telephone and catalogue, or to take along an understanding friend. Family may be willing to shop for you if they realize how difficult this is for you.

Often, after the first year of bereavement, people expect you to be ““over it”…..you will never be ““over it”. However, most people do find that eventually they are able to enjoy holidays

I wish I can tell those who have lost a loved one this message, “May you find hope and peace and ways to remember the life of your loved one, not just the death. May Love be what you remember most”.

Source for “How To Help Yourself Through The Holidays”
From Victoria Hospice, British Columbia

Always Young and Wild (Not)

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If there is anything my daughters (especially my eldest girl) cannot imagine is a young and wild me. True, I was once young (still young), a 105 pound slim and anti-social girl who’d rather pour over her school text books than gallivant around with her roommates or officemates. I never considered myself “wild” , not wild enough to party out during weekends. Not wild enough to bend a few rules here and there.

I am the sister who admonished her siblings NOT to stay out late. The only time I ever went home late was at 2:00 AM only because my ex-boyfriend drove me all the way from Quezon City to Las Piñas. To think that I was then 24 years old, living independently since college graduation and I had the freedom to go out anywhere I wished.

I was like the manang.

I am the sister who shook her head and berated her sisters whenever I see them scurrying off like rats over to the door as soon as my dad fell asleep. If only he knew.

I am the sister who got appalled whenever her other sisters climbed over the gates of our house after curfew hours. Of course, I never tattle-taled on them.

The two “wildest” things I ever did in my life was smoking (yes, bad!) and oogling at cute guys while abroad during a conference I attended with my sister Lorna and dad. The year was in 1984, a year before I got married. Butch told me that I should take this vacation because once we got married, he is not sure if he can bring me around the world. (He still hasn’t.)

young me
I thought that it is my last time to “appreciate” the cute guys (I still do!) without the guilt so why not? My sister, the sociable one always broke the ice when we met these cute guys. I can’t remember if I flirted or not. Maybe not because one time, a British guy stalked me as I loitered around the trade hall. Of course I snubbed the creep because girls don’t like to be stalked no matter how cute they are. The temerity of this guy! He had the gall to say that I was racist, just because of his color. Oh wow. I could have slapped him right there and then.

young me
My ex-boyfriend must have been attracted to my boring personality because one day he suddenly blurted in that sexy voice, You are like a rock to me. I must have also been attracted to his wild, reckless and unconventional ways too. We easily complemented each other. Sometimes, I see a little of myself in my second daughter (she’s more sociable than I was at her age) and my husband in Lauren though I know they are their own unique persons.

Do I regret not being a bit more wild?

Yes and no. No, because my personality is probably like that and Yes because I should have been more easygoing. I’ve evolved to a more laid-back person in the past years. Though I might have aged and grown bigger the past 29 years since those photos were taken, I still feel young and in every essence, happy. Age is not a factor to be considered “wild” and carefree.

I have never been happier in my life. I don’t pine for the good old days of my un-reckless lost youth. When I look back at my life , I don’t think in terms of my losses. I think of all the experience gained. And I look forward with enthusiasm about experiences that have yet to be enjoyed with my husband, my  daughters, my blogger friends, the citizen advocates of Blog Watch and my wonderful, loving siblings.

It’s one reason I want to venture into new activities or cultivate new friendships. There is always something fun to do.

To be young and wild is all about attitude.

Dreaming of cultivating shade-grown Benguet Arabica Coffee

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Shade grown coffee is coffee grown sustainably under a canopy of trees. I envision planting shade grown Benguet arabica under the canopy of Pine and Alnos trees.

It started with a cup of coffee on January 9, 2018,  just as we drove down from my husband’s hideaway somewhere in Benguet. My daughter reminded me that we needed to buy Benguet coffee at the Baguio Public market.  Sure, sure, I said.

I forgot how the coffee project idea  started but I remember dropping the question to my daughter:

“if you love coffee so much, maybe you should be a coffee farmer?” or was it “maybe you should plant coffee?”

benguet arabica coffee

This was the day we started our Benguet Arabica Coffee project idea.

All I knew about coffee is that Arabica is grown in high altitude mountains of Benguet and that my husband’s family had some vacant land. I also participated in two cupping sessions in Commune and Costa Coffee which brought back memories of my Food Technology college days.

I don’t know what popped up in my head that day. Maybe the cool climate and the pine trees gave that light bulb idea.

Or maybe walking along Luijoe’s meadow and surrounded by pine trees  gave me the inspiration. Maybe the universe  was whispering to me that morning to make use of the vacant land in my husband’s home province.

benguet arabica coffee

Before my daughter left for Europe, where she has been based the last five years, she wanted to know if we were up to coffee farming.  My husband readily agreed ,of course so I contacted my other daughter in Singapore , if she was in. Of course, she agreed.

So the dream was born…but where do we start?

benguet arabica coffee

My daughter came across “Coffee farming basics” by Chit Juan . Such an inspiring article. I knew Chit Juan because she is an advocate not only on coffee but on women entrepreneurs and social enterprise. I know she would be helpful.

I emailed her:

My 30 year old daughter, who is based in Germany is interested in coffee farming

how does one really start planting coffee? Our land is in Benguet..around 1000 meters elevation.

Do you have other resources on how to start coffee farming? An updated article?

Any information or leads will be helpful

Chit replied right away. She gave me the contact information of Professor Val Macanes of Benguet State University. Prof. Macanes otherwise known as the Professor of Coffee , replied to my text message and told me to meet him when I visit Trinidad, Benguet. My husband’s ancestral home is just near BSU. Another sign that our paths are meant to cross.

I am treading on a new journey. I know it will take three to five years to harvest the Arabica beans and that our family will need to study more about coffee farming, from bean to brew and everything in between.

So, why is the dream, cultivating shade-grown Benguet Coffee ? Well, I am going ahead of my journey . This was another discovery which I will blog in succeeding blog posts at benguetarabica.com and benguetarabica.coffee

Getting out of my comfort zone

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“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I do not want to” and “it is too difficult” that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.” Pandora Poikilos, Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

When I think of challenges and opportunities, I take a trip down memory lane to that time when I was a young girl trying to establish a career.

I could have stuck with my Food Technologist position because it is my bacherlor’s degree. At twenty one years old, I was a Production and Quality Control Supervisor for a candy manufacturer, which you know today as MENTOS. I found myself struggling with Tagalog and finally learning how to speak it ( though broken) in order to communicate with the workers. The daily sampling of all the sweet and chewy goodies and meeting production schedules felt like clockwork. Doing the same thing, day in and day out, in my white lab gown was not challenging enough. BORING! I felt my mind needed to learn something new which I can apply to my job. I wanted to do something different from Food Technology.

A Masters degree in Business Administration was the in-thing among my peers. Will a Food Technologist make it? Though I had a few units in Business and Accounting, I felt it was not enough. “Think out of the box” was what I needed to come up with the more “creative” solutions for case studies. Armed with new skills and knowledge, I was ready for a different career path.

researcher for SME financing

In 1981, I shifted careers. I was drawn to developmental work . Working as a researcher/consultant for UP Institute for Small Scale Industries (UP ISSI) and Small Enterprise Research Development Foundation (SERDEF) was a dream job because I can use my knowledge to help the country’s economy. During those days, I only had pencil and yellow pad to write my research and a typist for drafts and the final copy. I literally cut my draft and pasted onto a new sheet of paper during revisions.

One project that made me cry was this World Bank grant on a “Study on possible widening of the scope of Planter’s Bank Financing Activities for Small and Medium Scale Enterprises” in 1984. The WB was not happy with the study of the former Project Manager and I was tasked to revise it.

Yes, I knew how to research but I had zero knowledge about financial institutions. I called up my father who is a financial expert in Cebu and ranted that I had no idea what I was supposed to write. Just like any helpful father, he gave me articles or clippings about financial institutions. Daddy was my “internet” or source of information outside the library. Pouring over volumes of secondary data and analyzing the primary data, I finished the report. I re-wrote everything . With computers and the ease of printing these days, I cannot imagine how I came out with this study that consisted of so many pages.

research paper on financing for SMEs

Looking at my life 33 years ago reminds me that even at my golden age, I can move on to a new chapter. I kept this study as a trophy for myself, that I must always challenge myself. The only way to create change is by leaving your comfort zone. The only way for me to change my life and to change them for good is to relocate my comfort zone.

You can do it too. How?

You can change your life with repeated, specific action — the trick is actually going through with it all. Change your habits and sooner than you think you’ll find yourself within a new comfort zone — a comfort zone so far from your original comfort zone that you may have trouble understanding how it is that you were able to accomplish so much. And then you will have nothing but you and your inner drill sergeant to thank. Each of us has the power to change our lives. Most of us, however, rather remain comfortable.

I would have never attained a fraction of my potential if I stuck it out being safe and comfortable. As I embark on a new chapter of my life as a “Content Strategist” , I tell myself “you can make it happen.”

What have you done to go out of your comfort zone?

Pasko na Sinta Ko, It’s Christmas, my love

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There is something about Christmas carols sung by children. Their innocence and eager spirit shows the true meaning of the Christmas season.

 

manila children choir 1

During my stage mother days, I never tired of listening to my children sing over and over again. Singing is a tradition in my immediate family but sadly, I don’t have the voice yet I can tell if the singing is sharp.

Singing Christmas Carols has been a treasured family tradition. I remember the last Christmas I had with my mom. I was 18 years old then. All the 7 siblings gathered around the Yamaha organ as my late brother, Oscar played festive carols. Sometimes it was mom who accompanied the songs in the piano.

Those were the days when my two girls would readily sing in front of me. Good thing Manila Children’s Choir recorded an album and with that I converted 3 Christmas Carols in mp3 format. L. was 12 while M. was 11 years old with another girl and 2 boys from the Manila Children Choir. The choir conductor chose only 5 children for this recording but with recent technology, it sounds like they are a big group of kids.

1. Hark The Herald Angel Sing (Click here to download– 2.9 MB) – Charles Wesley/Felix Mendelssohn , adapted by Jack North , Arranged by Jack North/John Wilson
2. Christmas in Our Hearts (Click here to download– 3.0 MB)- Jose Mari Chan , arranged by Carmina R. Cuya
3. Pasko Na Sinta Ko (Click here to download– 4.8 MB)- Aurelio Estanislao/Francis Dandan , Arranged by Bernadette de Leon

Pasko na Sinta ko is actually a love song but the melody is very poignant . It reminds me that my love would not have been with me this Christmas , if we didn’t collaborate to make it work. Some of you may find that you can relate to the lyrics.

Pasko na sinta ko

Hanap-hanap kita

Bakit ka nagtampo

Iniwan ako

It’s Christmas, my love

I’m longing for you

What did I do

that made you leave me

Kung mawawala ka

Sa piling ko sinta

Paano ang Pasko

Inulila mo

If you’ll be gone

From my side, my love

What will happen to my Christmas

That you made so lonely

Refrain:

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan

At pagtitinginang tunay

Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap

Ang ating suyuan at galak

Our promises have gone to waste, my love

And our love that was so true

Do you wish to forget everything

All our affection and joys

Kung mawawala ka

Sa piling ko sinta

Paano ang Paskong

Alay ko sa iyo.

If you’ll be gone

From my side, my love

What will happen to my Christmas

That I offer to you.

manila children choirThere is something about Christmas carols sung by children. Their innocence and eager spirit shows the true meaning of the Christmas season. It has been said that music can open a window to the soul. To anyone with a loss, music may either drive a knife into an already festering wound, or it my begin to soothe and bring comfort to a shattered and broken spirit.

Christmas Carols sang by my children keeps me happy even if my boy is no longer with us.

May you be blessed with peace and love during the Christmas season.

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace. Agnes Pharo

Our Halloween Trick or Treat Tradition 25 years ago

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halloween traditionWhat happened to Halloween day? Why is Trick or Treat celebrated way earlier than October 31? Where is the fun in moving it to an earlier date? Those were some of the questions my kids asked me in 2006. My three children celebrated Trick or Treat only on October 31 whether it was a weekday or weekend. Then that all changed when our village changed the date because it was just convenient for them to facilitate the kids in costume. My kids often say that it is like moving Christmas day to December 20. Something like that.

Wikipedia states that

Halloween (or Hallowe’en) is an international holiday celebrated on October 31. Halloween activities include trick-or-treating, ghost tours, bonfires, costume parties, visiting haunted attractions, carving jack-o’-lanterns, reading scary stories, and watching horror movies.

I do not understand. Maybe I am trapped in the American tradition that my husband brought to our family since we first celebrated it 25 years ago. Maybe the Philippines has its own version on how to celebrate Halloween.

I remember the day my dear husband reminded me to dress up the little girls into witches for Halloween. “Halloween?” I thought Halloween was only done in the Western countries. ” Yes you have to dress them up as witches”. As a little boy in the late sixties, he pranced around the neighborhood begging for candies and yelling “Trick or Treat” . According to him, the Halloween “Trick or Treat” originated in the Philippines during the sixties when the Americans living in the village started the tradition. In the early nineties, Halloween was not yet commercialized. No little kids doing trick or treat inside the malls.

The Trick or Treat was limited to Ayala Land villages, where most American expatriates lived. There were a few masks and simple decors in National Book store but that was it. No costumes. I had to be creative. I designed a witch costume with yellow piping and a dressmaker executed it. A balikbayan sister from San Francisco brought in the hat, the candy corn candies, the fangs gum for props.

halloween traditionWe drove all the way to visit the kid’s grandparents in Alabang just for the spooky Halloween experience. As usual, the beaming stage mother dressed up her adorable girls as cute little witches. The Trick or Treat party at the club was fantastic. The kids were dressed in typical Halloween costumes like vampires, ghosts, witches, and devils or even pumpkins.The eerie decors added to the thrilling experience.

halloweenThe Trick or Treat adventure in this swanky Alabang village is something else. The houses compete with each other on the scariest theme. Most of these houses had tricks. In one house, the kids were terrified of the candle-lit pathway that led to a vampire rocking on the chair. Complete with spine-tingling music as you walk towards the vampire, it even freaked me out. One of my daughters scurried away as soon as she saw the ghoulish figure. For many years, the girls spent their Halloween with their grandparents in this Alabang village until Luijoe arrived in our lives.

LuijoeLuijoe’s first Halloween in 1994 was spent at his aunt’s village. She started the Trick or Treat experience in her own village. 1994 saw the year when malls and the like started to sell costumes and more Halloween decors. My husband just adored his little boy. It’s no wonder that Halloween is such a painful experience for my husband. The past years, he used to hibernate in our bedroom avoiding the little kids knocking at our doors. But that is just how he was then. I love giving candies to these kids as I imagine my precious Luijoe hovering nearby. I am sure Luijoe is around me all the time.

5.jpgMy little boy posed his cutest smile ever. “sigh” I miss my boy. As I gathered the photos for this entry, I could not help turning misty-eyed pouring over these precious memories . “Was he really that cute?” “How I wish I can just rewind the past and hug him all over again!” Pictures and memories are what is left of him. Of course, his love rings true in my heart. But yes, I digress. And the tears well up again as I write this.

The girls who were then in their pre-teen years continued to be witches until their early teens. That’s when they designed their own costumes or innovated their wardrobe.

6.jpg7.jpgLuijoe’s last two Halloween was dressed up as a little devil. How he liked playing the naughty little imp to the hilt. This little devil is now my angel . His impish grins just makes me smile. Kids are just so adorable aren’t they? I miss my kids as little kids and being the stage mother fussing around them. Now that they have grown up, I’m just there when they need me.

halloween
8.jpg12.jpgAfter Luijoe died in 2000, the girls continued the Trick or Treat tradition with their younger cousins. Costumes are now based on themes other than traditional horror, such as dressing up as a character from a TV show or movie. Ahhh…. I miss the traditional Halloween costumes. L in this photo is behind the fence because she was traumatized by an 11 year old bully who grabbed her whole bag of candies. Demand for candies is just so much that after an hour, we always ran out of treats.

Our kitties are not exempt from trick or treat.

kitties.jpg
The girls have outgrown the costumes but the ghost story telling or watching horror movies never dies. I don’t have to don the witch’ hat and spook them out. I don’t need to line the garage with eerie candle-lit lighting. No need for the masked monster by the rocking chair. They can entertain themselves now.

So that’s how my family celebrate Halloween. What’s your tradition?

“Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”

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“All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye.” – Margaret Atwood


““A father is always making his baby into a little woman.
And when she is a woman he turns her back again.”
Enid Bagnold
Happy father’s day to all the fathers and single mothers out there.

Happy father’s day to the dad of my three children.

Unlike most couples I know, I have never called my husband , “dad”. I told him from the start of our marriage that I would always refer to him by his first name, “Butch” because I think it is more romantic than “dad” or “daddy”.



““My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
Clarence B. Kelland
“Dad” is reserved for my dad. Even if my daddy old boy is not around, he will always be a daddy in my heart . Daddy taught me to live, love, laugh, to be strong , and committed to God , family and community. Dad gave me the greatest gift : he believed in me. Though a late bloomer in community service, I always think of my dad who showed me how to be passionate to a cause. That is why I always sign with my maiden name in honor of his memory.

luidad
This photo was taken in 1999, the last Father’s day
that my husband celebrated with his son.
For fathers who have lost a child, there is a sense of remembering how much fun it was and how terribly sad it is not to have their child

to hold and tell them of their love. My husband wrote once on this feelings of loss and quoted Gordon Livingston “And so, as I contemplate the western horizon of my life, I think of my son with exquisite sadness and profound gratitude. He evoked in me a capacity for love I did not know I had. Those feelings did not die with him, nor will they, I pray, die with me.”

““Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”.

Sinulog memories

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sinulog
Taken on the stage of Sinulog 1985 celebration
The cries of Pit Senyor rings in the air right now as Cebu’s Sinulog celebration heats up. Sinulog holds treasured memories of the two loves of my life: My dad and my husband.

Thirty one years ago , I first attended it with my then fiance. A lot of milestones happened in Sinulog 1985.

– my first Sinulog
– I got engaged the day before
– Dad was the chair of Sinulog 1985
– the 1985 model was a great organizational model

The Pamanhikan

How in love we both were ( and still are). Sinulog 1985 holds precious memories as that was the day Butch asked my dad for my hand in marriage. On that day, the two loves of my life finally got to talk for the first time. In all the 7 years that Butch and I were steadies, Dad never spoke a single word to Butch except “hi and bye”. That day, I finally asked Dad why he treated Butch that way . Dad’s two lame explanations were that he didn’t want Butch to be too familiar and secondly , he didn’t know how to talk to the boyfriend of his daughter. Oh well, that was cleared up that fateful Sinulog eve.


Sinulog 2012

Dad, the organizer

I missed the Sinulog so many times. During the Sinulog 2012, I brought my two girls to join the festivities and finally participate and take photos. It was not that crowded then in 1985 yet it was still festive.

Sinulog 1985 - dadWith the help of my sister, Lorna who assisted dad during the Sinulog, I was able to piece something about dad’s last Sinulog as the overall organizer.

Dad was the chair for the Board of Judges committee, to judge the higantes and floats, starting 1981. I helped him find the judges and investigate their reputation and credibility. It is possible that the 1985 festival was the largest since it started but I do recall that even 1981 had already elbow-to-elbow crowds. I cannot remember the numbers. All I truly remember is that the 1985 model was a great organizational model.

The Sinulog Festival that started in 1980 was a modestly-managed event. David ““Boy” Odilao had started this project as a competition among school-based dance troupes. 16-year old Shelley Ann Roper from Connecticut, USA, the Rotary Exchange student hosted by the Rotary Club of Cebu-West (and who was living with us in our Lahug home) who was a member of the Southwestern Dance Troupe, was acknowledged as the first American to dance in this first official celebration that had commercial appeal. Shelley certainly stood out — blonde hair, fair skin, dancing barefooted in Sinulog attire.


Sinulog 2012

The glitters, the dances, the fancy trimmings and the pageantry are only expressions of how important Santo Nino is to the Cebuanos but for me Sinulog is a day filled with treasures of love .

My dear Sto. Nino . These days in January we are again celebrating your feast. How fitting to celebrate your feast in this first month of the year, since as a child, you invite us to grow and mature with you through the year!

Pit Senyor