Category Archives: Parents & Children

Some of the important lessons that can benefit children as they grow can be taught at home. Teaching kids to do chores is a rewarding experience not only for children but for parents as well. One of the significant roles of parents is to set a good example for their children.  Remember that young kids learn by observing and following their parents or guardians.  Be a good role model to your children by leading through example.

Children who are taught to do chores at an early age are more likely to have less trouble maintaining orderliness, cleanliness and consistency in their adult lives.  Being accountable for tasks builds character and develops sense of responsibility.  Kids who regularly do chores learn to help out around the house on their own volition.

This chart lists down chores that are appropriate for certain age groups. Please be reminded that the chart is just a guide.

Kids mature at a different pace. As a parent, you know the capabilities of your child better than anyone.  You should consider your child’s abilities and level of maturity when assigning tasks.

Here are some benefits of teaching kids to do chores.

Responsibility– It is important for children to experience a sense of responsibility and self worth by assigning tasks that are appropriate for their age. When you give your kids tasks, let them know that they are accountable to finish those chores within a specified time frame.  Kids who are given a sense of responsibility are likely to grow into well-rounded and successful individuals.

Sofia, 7 years old, sweeps their dining floor area after meals.  She knows that she needs to fulfill that task every day.  Her parents explained to her that sweeping the floor every day after meals is very important because it prevents pests from going to their house.  Sofia understands that failing to do her task might turn into an open invitation for cockroaches and mice to go inside their home.

“Eeeewww! I hate cockroaches and mice! I don’t mind sweeping the floor every day because it keeps us safe from those yucky invaders,” Sofia said.

Basic skills in life – As children grow, it is important that they learn how to handle basic tasks that will prepare them for adulthood.  Learning simple things such as helping fix the bed, putting away dishes, folding the laundry, sweeping the floor, and and so on will teach kids how to eventually do these things on their own.  Young kids can start with small chores.  Children can be given additional responsibility as they master current chores and grow older.

Self-reliance and independence – It is normal for parents to help and protect their children.  Parents should also remember that it is equally important to teach kids how to help themselves.  As kids grow older, there are chores that they can do on their own.  Teach children how to perform age appropriate tasks and encourage them to pursue their duties without being told.

Take note that most chores are not learned overnight.  It takes practice to learn tasks.  By allowing kids to perform age appropriate chores regularly, they can become self-reliant.

Rizza is a mom to 3 kids.  Several weeks ago, Rizza was forced to let go of their helper.  She is thankful to her young daughter for making things easier by helping her with some household chores.  Rizza taught her daughter how to cook simple meals at an early age.  At age 10, Reign can cook simple meals for the family.  Reign also helps wash the dishes without being told. Her parents can count on her to watch over her 2 younger siblings when they are busy. Reign is a reliable daughter and big sister.

Self-esteem– When a child completes a task, he or she may feel a sense of accomplishment or pride. Parents are encouraged to acknowledge their child’s efforts for doing a certain chore, no matter how small it is.

Abigail lets her 3 year old boy help her sort out laundry.  The little boy enjoys putting white clothes inside the white laundry basket and the colored ones inside the black laundry basket.  He thinks it’s a game but in reality it’s a simple chore that will help prepare him for bigger chores in the future.  Abigail claps each time her son completes his task. Abigail never fails to tell his son, “Good job Andre!” Then she plants a big kiss on his cheek.

Praising your child for a job well done can motivate your kid to pursue his or her duties and perform tasks better. Letting your child know that he or she is on the right track can inspire him or her to try other tasks. It’s a good way to boost your child’s self-esteem and confidence.

Cleanliness and organization – Kids who are exposed to chores at an early age learn to appreciate the value of keeping things clean and organized.  A clean and orderly environment is not only pleasing to the eyes but it is also conducive for working, studying and resting.  It’s easier to do your task when there is less clutter around you.

Time management –School-aged children are faced with multiple duties.  There are things that they need to do at home and in school. It is importance for a child to learn how to balance homework, projects, extracurricular activities, and house chores. Parents can help their child schedule tasks accordingly without succumbing to pressure. Teach kids how to prioritize tasks according to importance and allotted time.  As children grow older, they will understand how important time management is in the real world.

Team work– Children learn to value the importance of working as a group when they work together with their parents, brothers, sisters, and other members of the household in order to fulfill a common goal.  Kids realize that some tasks can be completed faster and easier when people help each other.

Reign, Mischa and Mateo share a bedroom.  Together, they fix their beds when they wake up in the morning.  To the delight of their parents, they also help each other put away toys and books that they used before going to sleep.

Consistency – Chores teach kids about the importance of doing things on a regular basis. For instance, kids learn that they have to perform certain tasks regularly especially if it involves a living thing such as feeding animals and watering plants.

Yohan, ten years old feeds his pet fish every day.  He knows that neglecting to feed his fish will make it weak and prone to sickness. He understands that he is accountable for the life of his pet fish.

Originally written by Ma. Rachel R. Yapchiongco at the Philippine Online Chronicles.

by Edel Cayetano as originally posted at Philippine Online Chronicles

On several occasions, I’ve read status messages and blog posts from moms about how it’s so noble to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom. Stay-at-home moms (and their supporters) resolve into a litany of why they’re better and more selfless than working moms, while working moms think they have a harder time juggling family, career and time for self – three crystal balls that are equally important AND fragile. But really, what’s the deal about competing against each other? Can’t we just all be supportive of our fellow mothers, regardless of their situation?

I’m a new mom, and I take guilt and confusion everyday for breakfast. My journey with my daughter, who turns 8 months old soon, has been nothing short of colorful and challenging. I got a flavor of how it is to be a stay-at-home mom too for a while, and it drove me crazy. During my daughter’s first few months, I was fortunate enough to be able to care for her by myself. It wasn’t easy, especially since I wasn’t used to the routine, having been career-oriented for as long as I can remember, but I’m grateful for it. During the time, my respect for moms who made the difficult decision of leaving their careers in order to care for their kids and their families full time grew. It was selfless, indeed.

…But so is the resolve of working moms to balance both family and career. Pardon me from sharing a tad too much about my own experiences, but working and caring for one’s family is just as hard as being a stay-at-home mom. While stay-at-home moms lament the loss of their careers in exchange for raising their kids, working moms constantly battle with the guilt of not being with their babies as often as they want to. Six months after I gave birth, I went back to my job, and moms like me could attest to how hard it is to be away from home despite knowing that we NEED to do this to ensure the future of our children. Before I went back to work, my husband and I have agreed that we needed to be a double income household, and with the go signal of resuming with my job, we knew that we had to make some major adjustments if we were going to make it work. It has since required a lot of sacrifice (and humbling ourselves enough to ask for help from both our families), but we’re determined and dead set on our goals.

Stay at home mom: You are worthy

A post about stay-at-home moms and their estimated “salary” recently went viral on social media. It was from Steven Nelms, and it was meant as a “sort of thank-you note” for his wife. In his post, Nelms said that fathers can’t afford a stay-at-home mom, if they were to pay for each “service” their wives do for them.

Sharing how it made the most financial sense for him to work and his wife Glory to stay at home for their son Ezra, Nelms wrote the post to let his wife know how much her work at home is worth. In it, he claimed that a stay-at-home mom should make $73,960 (or a whopping 3 million++ in pesos). Half of this estimated amount goes to childcare, while the rest are divided into cleaning costs, personal shopping, cooking and accounting.

Meanwhile, a stay at home wife and mom named Susannah B. Lewis, called for other stay at home moms to “shut the eff up.” “Just be content or quit your whining,” she said, referring to how some stay at home moms “can’t be thankful and instead view life at home with their children as one putrid event after another.”

She also says that if stay at home moms constantly despise being with little people who drool, are completely unsatisfied, miserable and longing for a way out, then it is best if they get a job, volunteer, find a hobby, go out with the girls and just DO SOMETHING. More than that, just be grateful for a faithful husband, gorgeous and healthy children and a beautiful home. And doesn’t she have a point?

Working mom: You are enough

Working mothers, on the other side of the spectrum, also have their share of supporters. Margie Warrell of Forbes wrote a reassuring letter to working moms, telling them to stop feeling so guilty. In her post, she recognized how moms who juggle family and career feel like they’re forever coming up short when it comes to doing enough, giving enough and being enough for their kids, their partners, their aging parents and extended family, and of course their bosses and their communities (that’s apart from doing, being and giving enough for themselves!). Warrell, a working mom herself, shared about how she felt the constant nagging mother’s guilt until she realized that she didn’t have children to spend her life feeling forever inadequate. “I wanted children to enrich my life, not enslave my conscience,” she said.

Working moms like us have as much right to enjoy our kids without having to take child rearing as a long exercise in never measuring up. In her article, Warrell tells working moms to confront the destructive forces that drive mother’s guilt, and practice five key ways to embrace one’s short-falls as a mother – which we all have, regardless if we work or stay at home. These tips will also help refocus a working mom’s preciously finite energy on what truly matters: making sure that the kids feel wanted, loved and loveable no matter what, and benefit from a role model (yes that’s you) on how to live a rewarding life:

1. Accept that there will be trade-offs. Combining motherhood and career in any way will have trade-off, sacrifices and compromises. To reconcile these, always remember your reasons for working – money, satisfaction, sanity – to stay grounded on your personal convictions. Remember that your kids, family and even yourself are ultimately all better off because you have a rewarding career outside the home.
2. Don’t “should” on your guilt. Refrain from taking on board a mother-load of ‘good-parent’ shoulds that others do. Stop comparing yourself to other mothers and don’t buy into the unspoken ‘rules’ of society. Replace ‘should’ with ‘could’ to take the judgment out of the equation and allow yourself to do what actually works best for you and your family.
3. Manage your standards of a ‘great parent.’ Accept that sometimes, good enough is good enough. Don’t get sold on the idealized, photoshopped image of the ‘perfect’ parent and instead, keep in mind that it’s who we are for our children that ultimately impacts them.
4. Beware of guilt mongers. Be so interested in doing your best for your kids and your family that you have no time to throw stones at how other parent their children. Likewise, steer clear from the guilt mongers.
5. Don’t dilute your presence with distraction. It’s true when they say that we can be with our kids 24/7 and yet never be fully present to them. If it calls for quality time with the people who matter most to you, turn off to work and other distractions. And yes, that includes putting down your smart phone.

 

Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, your decision has its own joys and challenges, its own set of pros and cons. There is no monopolized set-up on what works best in terms of mothering our children, and there shouldn’t be. Why don’t we just drop the debate on who’s better and celebrate being the best moms we can be to our kids?

 

 

*Photo owned by the author.