Funeral Events Coordinator

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150px-Candleburning.jpgThe mother of a my husband’s brother-in-law passed away early this morning. Although the mom was ill for the last two months, her death was still sudden. A few minutes before she passed away, she scribbled a note saying “Welcome J and A”. It’s like she knew she was leaving. Since the children are all based abroad, they had to rely on friends and relatives to check on things while they prepared for their trip to the Philippines. How stressful it must be for them to think of all the funeral arrangements. Having experienced 5 deaths in my immediate family from 1976 to 2003, the stress alone in funeral arrangements is overwhelming. While on our way to the chapel tonight, I told my husband that we should consider having funeral insurance (I forgot the term for it). I can’t imagine having to burden our children with our funeral.

When my father died in 2003, the “funeral assistance” component of my sister’s Philamlife plan did a wonderful job of coordinating paperwork, details for the coffin, the funeral car etc. All we had to do was approve it or provide suggestions. This was not the case when my son died in 2000. One does not expect to bury your child so one is totally unprepared for this formidable task. An accidental death in a city far away from home added to burden. Where can we get 70,000 pesos at 7:00 PM to pay for the coffin? Where can we get the death certificate at this time of the night? On a saturday night? What ? Where? How? By God’s grace, friends and political connections produced the cash and the death certificate. The task of choosing a coffin is the most depressing job ever but it needs to be done. My 14 year old daughter sensed my hesitation and held my hand as we shopped for a coffin. Walking like a zombie, I jolted from my stupor when she pointed to a purple coffin.

A purple coffin , mom!

huh?

Oh no, dear. Luijoe is a boy and he can’t be buried in a purple coffin.

For a brief moment, mother and daughter laughed. We found humor in an otherwise depressing situation.

See, if there was a funeral events coordinator ( much like a wedding events coordinator), we would not have to face such a
daunting and crazy task. In my deepest despair, I might have ended up agreeing with Lauren’s choice of a purple coffin.

Sulong Negosyo at Market! Market!

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sulong negosyonegosyoMy purpose for attending the Sulong Negosyo at Market! Market! was to meet Lynn, the owner of Crazy Choco. She sells Chocolate Fountain and fondue set and I’ve been meaning to buy the latter. See, I took photos of her Crazy Choco booth in Fil-Negosyo Expo 2006 last month. Fortunately for her, two customers surfed my photo gallery and saw the chocolate fountain photo flowing with Belgian Chocolate. Yum. The good news was these gallery visitors bought from her. I was hoping she’d give me a discount on the fondue set which is priced at 1,200 pesos. So anyway, armed with my digital camera and fresh from my gym workout, I headed towards the exhibits.

sme centerpear2.netThe Sulong Negosyo at Trade Hall A, Bonifacio Global City is sponsored by the Department of Trade and Industry. Over 100 exhibitors showed various products from all over the Philippines. When I saw the expo, I totally forgot about my purpose there . I was fascinated with the Small and Medium Enterprises (SME ) EXPO’s barangay/village fiesta concept that simulated a small community with a barangay hall where business name registration, business counseling and advisory services were undertaken. Even supportive banks. There was also a town plaza concept where video programs promoting the services offered by various institutions to SMEs can be viewed. There’s a seminar rooms where skills and managerial briefings useful to would-be and existing entrepreneurs are conducted . And lastly a commercial area (Pamilihan) was setup for participating SMEs to retail their products and/or promote their franchise businesses.

Today, the government is actively supporting our micro entrepreneurs with their One Town One Product (OTOP) .This was merely a concept when I worked for the Small Scale industry in the early 1980s. If you’re interested to start a business one day, one should attend Guide to RA 9178 Barangay Micro Business Enterprises Act of 2002 to be held on Friday , at 5:00 to 6:00 PM. This is a remake of previous laws in the past but the classification of a micro business’ asset has now been raised to 3 million pesos.

Research on small and medium scale enterprises development was my pet project before I settled down to become a mother and home maker in 1987. I can see that there is indeed some progress through the years. We can’t rely solely on overseas employment income to sustain our economy. Together with the development of Information technology sector, agro-industries, and our small and medium and micro-enterprises, our country’s economy will surely boom.

View the photo gallery of the Sulong Negosyo-SME EXPO at Market! Market!

Letting out Anger

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galit.jpgI am angry at this person. If I was working on my recovery program, I wouldn’t get angry. If I was a good Christian, I wouldn’t feel [tag]angry[/tag]…. If I am really using the daily affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn’t be angry. Those are the old messages that seduces us into not feeling again. Anger is a part of life. We need not dwell in it but we can’t afford to ignore it. So why am I angry, you ask?

Without going into sordid details, it’s about my TV interviews and our grief journey. This person hasn’t even seen any of my TV interviews . This person just overheard it from someone. Who knows how that person related the interview? Yes , this person has no gender because this person could be anyone. Look, I don’t even want to appear on TV. I am a shy person. But after going through the Purpose Driven Life, I have learned that…

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Laughter rings on Father’s Day

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Cebu Pcoherocebu paellaThe poetry therapy at the Compassionate Friends meeting yesterday made Butch and everyone else in a jovial mood. (see pics here) In our meetings, we laugh and cry as we share our stories. But yesterday, laughter rang out more often the tears. Our facilitator, Victor Emmanuel Carmelo D. Nadera Jr. is a brillant poet and therapist. This poet had such a great sense of humor. He was able to draw out the hidden poet in all of us. Everyone agreed it was one of our most enjoyable meetings. The session probably helped ease the depression of most of the bereaved fathers in the room because right after the meeting, Butch celebrated his cheerful disposition by having dinner out. Normally special occasions like [tag]Father’s day[/tag] bring out twinges of sadness in him . Fortunately the 2 girls joined us at the meeting but were late for the actual session.

We had dinner at Jun Jun’s Cebu Lechon Restaurant at The Fort. The famous Cebu Lechon Inasal (Roasted Pig) , Cebu Pochero (Filipino Beef stew) and Cebu Paella (Spanish Rice dish) was our main course. If you’re a Cebuano, you usually don’t dip your lechon meat with lechon sauce. That’s what I told the girls but probably they are so used to dipping sauces. The lechon meat is already flavorful right to the bones that the sauce just mask the unique taste of our Cebu Lechon. It was a great meal fit for an advanced Father’s Day celebration. Today, we are busy packing up as the girls move out to their dorms tonight.

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Death in the Time of Hepatitis

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Reuben LardizabalThat’s my younger brother , Reuben who died on June 11, 1990 due to fulminant Hepatitis A. He left behind a young wife, a three year old and a three week old infant son. There is more to his death than just an illness. This feature article written by my sister Belen thirteen years ago explains it more. (Read here and here)

Reuben Veloso Lardizabal, 28 , was a young family man, a writer, a labor ogranizer, and a law graduate student. He was in other words, full of promise and conviction. But death spares no one. He is the Hepatitis epidemic’s first casualty.

Last May 1-4, 1990, our family helds it’s first reunion in Cebu City, including our children, husbands, and wives. Little did we know that this joyous occasion would also lead to one of the saddest moments in our live.

Three weeks after our reunion, I, my brothers David and Reuben, my sister Lorna , and niece Lauren were struck down with Hepatitis A, a viral infection of the liver transmitted through fecal contamination of ingested food or water. We were unaware initially that several other residents and neighbors in the Lahug district, Cebu City had also been suffering from hepatitis since May. Surprisingly , most of the victims were from middle to upper income bracket.

On June 11, 1990, my dear brother Reuben succumbed to the ravages wrought on him by acute viral hepatitis. Our family held a second reunion- this time , for Reuben’s funeral. (Continue reading here and here)

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The family photo taken during that fateful reunion in May 1-4,1990. It was a reunion for my dad who we thought was dying (dad died 13 years later though)

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The Grief Interview with Cheche Lazaro

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Update on Cheche Lazaro: (May 8, 2009) Cheche Lazaro and the Wire Tapping Case filed by GSIS

cheche lazaroTo be interviewd by Cheche Lazaro in “Straight Talk” is an honor. Her interview style is excellent. You know, I usually get a pre-interview by production assistants days before a show. This is normal procedure since hosts are usually busy. It surprised me that no one from ANC (ABS-CBN News Channel) called me up. Hmm, I thought that maybe Cheche can handle it herself. The only call I received was from the production assistant of the executive producer. He was so touched after reading Luijoe’s memorial website and wanted to borrow Luijoe’s photos for a clear graphic shot. They went all the way to the house just to get the photo albums.

Before the live interview, I caught up with Cheche at the dressing room and we had a little chat as the makeup artists retouched our shiny faces. I am amazed at her preparation for this episode. She printed out research materials on grief and highlighted sentences in my story of the Fallen Cradle. She told me that this is a fairly new topic rarely discussed on TV. I know. I told her that grief education is quite new in our country and we’re just taking off with the introduction of grief pyschologists and grief support groups.

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Cito Beltran’s Straight Talk

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I told the girls I can’t be bothered to be their driver tomorrow because I have to appear as a guest at Cito Beltran’s Straight Talk at 1 to 2 PM. My daughter’s immediate reaction: “I won’t be surprised if you appear in Boy Abunda’s talk show“. I don’t really watch TV so I don’t know what kind of talk show it is. But why not? If it helps promote The Compassionate Friends, I’m all for it. I just found out today that Cito Beltran is on leave so Cheche Lazaro will take his place. That’s excellent! She is one of the country’s most respected broadcast journalists . As founding president of Probe Productions Inc. and host of The Probe Team, she started the first investigative newsmagazine for television in the Philippines. I hope I “talk straight” as it is my first ever live interview. The other guest is Agnes Prieto who edited the book on loss of a child, Fallen Cradle. She also initiated this book project.

If you don’t catch the live interview, the replay is at 11:00 PM, June 2 and at 6 PM on June 3, Saturday. I think it will also show simultcast at the The Filipino Channel or ABS CBN Global.

Compassionate Medical Professionals Wanted

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Here is another case of stupid toilet humor that occured in Silliman University Medical Center Foundation, Inc. (SUMCFI).

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A grieving mother who has infertility problems lost her second baby by [tag]miscarriage[/tag] last May 9 and lodged a complaint that she was subjected to indignities by a hospital staff who commented that the dead fetus which was to be her second child was to be urinated upon (because the hospital ran out of formalin and or distilled water.)

Read complete news story From the Negros Chronicle in here and here.

Olga Lucia Uy emailed her story to me 3 days ago. Maia, her baby was only 5 to 6 weeks old at the time of her death.

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