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04May 2014

“Look Up” – A spoken word film for an online generation

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

‘Look Up’ is a lesson taught to us through a love story, in a world where we continue to find ways to make it easier for us to connect with one another, but always results in us spending more time alone

How true this is! When we asked the panelists on what their wishlist is for the Future of Media, some of the panelists gave some interesting points on real people outside our gadgets.

1.” Spend time with your loved ones, friends – with real people in the real world.” – Yves Gonzles

2. No one in his deathbed wished that he spent more time on social media.” – Yves Gonzales

3. “It’s not about the technology or the tools, it’s about the people. Have real human relationships. ” Ros Juan

4. “Make sure to live a full, offline life.” Tim Yap

5. “Go out there and get the information yourself. Make the conscious effort to educate yourself. ” Erwan Heussaff

6. “I sense digital loneliness in some people. ” Jim Paredes

I definitely agree that the connected consumers or connected citizens (Generation C) need to disconnect and go on a digital detox and connect in real life. That is what we, citizen advocates do with our social media tools.

Using social media to effect social good is my dream for the future and it needs connecting to real people outside. In the Philippines, internet penetration is only 30%. The rest of the population do not have the opportunity to listen to the information that the online generation have. It is one reason I reach out to the masses through the Bubbly audio app because my content is heard on ordinary phones.

While the “Look up” video does have value, it forgets the many good things about using social media for social good. Here are the thoughts of the advocates:

1. “Social media is at its most meaningful if we use it to help those without access” – Inday Varona

2. “It’s easy to be popular. But it’s different to be able to influence agenda & change. Choose the ‘underadvocated’ issues – Amor Maclang

3. “The internet is also platform for fostering accountability and good governance -Malou Mangahas

4. The next big advocacy for us is the 2016 PH elections. We must make a river of change – Malou Mangahas

5. “If we are comfortable with a revolution, change will be easier” – Mae Paner

Jim Paredes predicts the future of media as devices becoming extensions of ourselves ; extended neuro system . That can be good or bad. Good -if it does bridge the digital divide…bad if it disconnects people from communicating with each other.

The message of the “Look up” video is significant to the online generation, the digital natives who started with playing the iPad as babies. Some children “are growing up in a world where they don’t play outside or communicate with their friends. It seems today everything is done via text message or over the internet. It’s heartbreaking”.

When the internet was still so new to me in 1996, many relatives frowned on exposing my children online. I was also just as anxious but I made sure the kids had balance in their play time, extra-curricular activities and studies. Pia Hontiveros brings up the digital divide in this question: “If the World Wide Web made the world a smaller place, why can’t we dream the same thing for our 7,100-plus islands?”

“Technology is not bad if used the right way, do not abuse it and do not get too attached to it. doing something is good, doing something too much is not good. this relates to everything” . This comment in the video sums up the message of “Look up”.

Allow me to make the “Look up” video statement more positive. Let’s not overuse social media that it defeats the goal of being social… We live in “a world where we continue to find ways to make it easier for us to connect with one another” and we know how to balance our digital and offline life for social good.

That means being really social and doing good to others.

31Mar 2014

Take a break: yummy Jollibee KIT KAT Mix-ins

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Do you catch yourself yelling in your mind any of these questions?

“I’m so busy! I don’t even have time to eat.”

“I need more than 24 hours in the day.”

“I don’t have time for that.”

“I wish I had more time for myself.”

Well, if you do, then just say “I need a break”. Sometimes it is just not possible but you can always take a quick break. Creating more personal time tops the list of goals many of us hope to accomplish. It takes as little as 15-30 minutes a day of uninterrupted, relaxing “me” time.

Break times for young urban professionals and even stay at home moms are valuable because it gives a few minutes to unwind from the stress. Whether it’s going on a five-minute stroll , taking a snack, or keeping abreast with the latest news through twitter or facebook, one needs to find different ways to feel renewed.

One of the many ways for a much-deserved break is a yummy twist with the new Jollibee KIT KAT Mix-ins. Great news for KIT KAT lovers and fans of Jollibee vanilla soft serve ice cream. This is the latest delightful dessert from Jollibee and the perfect respite from the summer heat. The exquisite combination of creamy vanilla soft serve and KIT KAT’s crunchy chocolate goodness is such a scrumptious treat for only P38.

Take note that you need a “me” time and there is no need to feel guilty no matter how short or long it can take. Your little break gives you an opportunity to relax, refocus and recharge. And when you do that, you can go back to your responsibilities with greater focus, commitment and enjoyment.

I did just that and bought the Jollibee KIT KAT Mix-ins at the Jollibee drive-thru at Tiendesitas. I was supposed to get down and chill inside Jollibee but the parking space were all occupied. Much to my surprise, the combination of vanilla soft serve ice cream and Kit kat bits were beyond my expectations. Those crunchy chocolate bits are just delicious.

So, make your breaks yummier , a bit more indulgent and fun with the crunchy chocolate goodness of the new Jollibee KIT KAT Mix-ins, now available at all Jollibee outlets nationwide.

For delivery, call Jollibee Express Delivery Service hotline at 8-7000 or log on to www.jollibeedelivery.com.

28Mar 2014

Down memory lane as the Philippines celebrate 20 years of internet #20PHnet

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

On March 29,1994, the Philippines connected to the Internet for the very first time.

My internet history dates back to circa 1995. Don’t you just miss the modem’s hissing sound as it cranks to connect to your good old ISP? The kids today and future generations will be missing out on the iconic sound of the dial-up modem. Listen:

Internet service providers were so expensive then. My first internet provider was Virtual Asia. It was 500 pesos for 15 hours! Not even enough time to browse.I believe the first website I visited was Yahoo and my first email address was from my ISP (Vasia.com) and later on, Hotmail. The first online person I knew in the real world was Ken Ilio, a batchmate in the university. After so many years, we finally reconnected using this new technology. Then I got to meet Manuel Viloria through Virtual Asia.

My first web project was in 1996, an Internet Safety Page for World Kids Network (WKN), a children’s fun website. See that icon to the right? That ‘s supposed to be me, the Internet Safety Head for WKN and a Kid Coach. I was known as Robotica by kids around the world. The site had a mini tutorial on creating webpages and I wrote that page in notepad. Writing about The 10 Golden Rules on Internet Safety was greatly inspired by my own parenting experience with my children .

I discovered HTML in 1996 and pretty soon, I was creating websites. The Vatican surfed for children’s choir right after Christmas Day of 2000 and landed on the website I created for the Manila Children’s Choir. There were not that many websites then for children’s choir. I guess I was lucky that the Vatican found us. The event was a gathering of children’s choir around the world to sing for the Pope on closing day. I feel so blessed that the only family member to have been blessed by the Pope is my second daughter.

Oh yes, I had a lot of good and bad internet experiences. One good thing is my daughters learned to meet new friends via the internet. She is known to be the Philippine’s first blogger which Abe Olandres documents in Tracing Back the Philippine’s Blogging History.

The record for oldest and probably the first blog that ever existed (which was created and maintained by a Filipino) is currently held by Lauren Dado. She was only 10 years old then. Her online journal (http://www.worldkids.net/kids/lauren/journal) was first published online on December of 1996, almost 9 years ago. The Wayback Machine was only able to archive Lauren’s online journal from October 1997 but her very first entry was dated on December 22, 1996. It is still up until now though she has a new blog site at nimrodel.net.

You can still read Lauren’s 1996 diary archives at the Wayback machine.

Incidentally , the word “blog” from weblog was not coined until 1999. The term “weblog” was coined by Jorn Barger in December 1997. The shorter version, “blog,” was coined by Peter Merholz, who, in April or May of 1999, broke the word weblog into the phrase “we blog” in the sidebar of his weblog.

My stint with WKN lasted only till 1999. By that time, I had learned enough about basic HTML, File Transfer Protocol (FTP) and how the world wide web worked.

While I used mIRC for group chats, I discovered the ICQ “instant messaging” service in 1997. My ICQ Universal Internet Number (UIN) still exists today (641900). I can still remember its uh-oh sound, as recorded below:

From Virtual Asia, I transferred services to Compass Internet in 1997 then Sky Internet in 1998. In the latter part of 1999, I finally got a cable connection, Destiny Cable . That was such a novelty. I think they are the first broadband internet provider. I used them for 8 years and today I am a Globe DSL subscriber with mobile internet from Globe and Smart.

Blogging only started in 2006, with my daughter serving as inspiration on the blogging style and in managing a community of friends. I lost my son in 2000 and I used my blog to reach out to others who may need grief support. When I look back at my grief journey, the turning point came when I became a blogger. It must have been my angel that touched me that one night.

I chose to be a citizen advocate making change happen, one blog post at a time, one tweet at a time. Being part of that positive change is a meaningful life to me. Blog Watch Citizen media, an emerging media is so much a part of my life aside from this blog.

Those were the days. Now what will our kids say in 10 years? What does the future hold?

I will be updating the celebration of the Philippine internet here:

18Mar 2014

Congratulations to my nephew who passed the 2013 Bar Exam results

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Congratulations to my nephew, Atty. Carlos Mangco, for passing the Philippine bar exam! His dad is my late brother, Oscar Carlos Lardizabal. Like my sister said, my brother must be smiling ear to ear in Heaven. A lot of credit goes to Belle, Carlos’ mom who raised my nephew with such loving support. I am also proud that he is the first Lardizabal lawyer. My uncle studied law before World War II but was killed. I heard that my late uncle studied law because of land grabbing cases and needed to learn the law to seek justice.

Congratulations to all the new lawyers!

Here is the complete 2013 Bar results

TOP 10:

1. Nielson Pangan – University of the Philippines — 85.8%

2. Mark Xavier D. Oyales – University of the Philippines — 85.45%

Dianna Louise R. Wilwayco – Ateneo de Manila — 85.45%

3. Rudy Ortea – University of Batangas— 84.2%

4. Eden Catherine Mopia – University of the Philippines — 84.05%

5. Tercel Maria Mercado-Gephart – University of San Carlos — 83.9%

6. Manuel Sarausad – University of Cebu — 83.8%

7. Katrine Suyat – San Beda College Manila — 83.75%

8. Michael Tiu Jr – University of the Philippines — 83.70%

9. Marjorie Ivory Fulgueras – Ateneo de Manila — 83.65%

10. Cyril Arnesto – University of the Philippines — 83.60%

08Mar 2014

Golden Lessons from the Golden Girls

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 8 Comments

A few years back, my husband and I facilitated a grief support group for Grief Share . My friend, Cathy assigned me to 4 lovable golden girls, with age ranging from 67 to 81 years old. I was turning turn 50 years old that time. As I watched them, I couldn’t help but smile at these brave and feisty widows . Laughing, crying and talking with these golden girls opened my eyes to living old gracefully.

After going through the discussion on the “Emotions of Grief”, I asked Eden (not her real name) on how she manages to look so young and bubbly at 81 years old. Eden showed a calm disposistion and sparkle in her eyes .

In her perfect , modulated English diction, she listed three tips.

1. Of course you know, eat a healthy balanced diet. She added that she doesn’t take pills for any ailment. Just vitamins and minerals. Oh wow , and here I am taking prophylactic medication for my high blood pressure and diabetes.

2. Exercise regulary. I play tennis 4 times a week.
(I was pleasantly surprised at her stamina. Imagine I was 49 years old that time and I begged off playing badminton with Abe because of my shoulder aches.)

3. And most importantly, peace of mind.

I asked “how do you achieve peace of mind?”

Eden continues “I lift all my problems of the day to the Lord. Every day I have problems but when I pray before bedtime, I know the Lord will take care of me”

Of course I knew that. My thoughts rattled off. I was captivated as I listened to this “time machine” who shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Eden is not done talking yet . She explained that when her husband was still alive, they’d both pray together every night without fail. “And you know what? we never faced any heavy burden the next day”

Ack, I twisted my hands.

I felt guilty. A few days ago, my husband and I had a small argument over who did more work on the house improvements. Apparently , he felt guilty that I did most of the work. I tried to lift his spirits “you did a lot of work by giving me the money to buy this house”. He continued to whine. Getting impatient with his self-pitying tactics, I shut myself in my bedroom. “I have no patience for this”. Staying in my room while he got holed up in our meditation room downstairs helped us cool our heads off. But we should have talked it out again and prayed before calling it a night.

Eden’s tips to living old gracefully is not new. We all know these secrets but to actually see 4 single young-at-heart women assured me that old age is something to look forward to.

Ask any golden girl her secrets and you’ll probably get the same answers.

04Mar 2014

What if you received a threat of a libel suit because of your child’s article?

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

I was not supposed to be one of the resource persons at the Senate Hearing on the Cybercrime bills but I had to tell my story because no one else have shown an actual threat on cyber-libel. I promised to make it a one-minute speech. Due to time constraints, I was not able to say everything I wanted to say so here it is:

I am Noemi Lardizabal-Dado otherwise known as mom blogger in social media. I have been online since 1995 with my children. My kids taught me to be the tech-savvy mom I am today. In 1996, as internet safety head of a global fun site for children , I soon drafted the 10 golden rules on online safety for young kids. In 1996, there were less than 12,000 internet users in the Philippines. It wasn’t cool for a kid to be online during those days so I kept watch over my children . I continue to do so 19 years later, but this time watching over the children of my friends by using social media for social good.

In the mid-90s, my children were using PCs but the kids these days use mobile platforms. “Almost everyone is now connected online. You can find bloggers younger than 10 years old. They are on social networking sites as well. Social media has become the new conversation platform,” as my friend Jane Uymatiao writes in “A Parent Worries over the Anti-Cybercrime Law”

The Generation C or connected citizen is not only web-savvy but opinionated. “The kids of today are very outspoken and candid” more candid than I ever was as a teenager. Jane adds “that libel can be relative, depending on whether the party offended is thin-skinned or not. One person may take offense at something written while another may just shrug it off. Now comes this law.”

The youth talk of fashion, music, books and many other things and at times get frustrated at products and services. Most of these kids turn online to talk or rant to their peers .

I am here to present an actual case of a libel threat.

This happened to a young writer in a piece she wrote about a clothing store. As an editor of an online media site, I received a letter from the lawyer of this clothing store and threatened to sue me if I did not remove the offending paragraph. The last part of the demand letter ends with this:

“your failure and or refusal to comply with the afore-mentioned demands will constrain us to institute the necessary civil and criminal suit against you in order to protect our client’s interest”

Imagine the look of dismay of the young writer when I informed her that she had to remove that paragraph. In my opinion, the paragraph was not malicious. It was a statement of a fact , found all over the internet. As you can see, truth is not a defense. There were other conditions, that I had to issue an apology. The young writer was visibly upset and traumatized by this experience.

Why was I singled out among the other bloggers? Was it because I was more identifiable than others. Other blog posts used screen names or were anonymous.

Can you imagine a young child being told by a parent that she/he might have committed libel? Our kids are outspoken but they are good kids. Just imagine if any of our kids was slapped with a libel charge. What if that was your kid? A kid of your friend? What an injustice!

We pave the way for our children to be future leaders by nurturing them in body, mind and spirit including their online lives. I agree with my fellow mom that “the controversial provisions of this law only serve to sow oppressive fear instead of constructive formation.”

I ask that the cyber libel provision be repealed as well as the rest of the cybercrime prevention act.

Photo of the Senate Hearing by Arpee Lazaro. Used with permission. Some rights reserved.

Originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles.

25Feb 2014

Affirmations of financial success

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

I often correct myself whenever the kids used to ask me “mom can we afford to buy _______?”. See, my standard reply is always ” I don’t have money” and true enough, money was always tight. I changed my words from limiting ones to those with a positive energy vibration. I say ” I don’t have the cash right now but we will soon have and make priorities for our needs”.

When asked “Do we have enough?” I answer with “Yes there is plenty” which affirms that there is enough for us in the family. If you ask the angels for just enough, that’s exactly what you will get. Try asking for ‘plenty’ and affirming ‘plenty’ and you’ll always get much better than what you expect.

I soon found out the words that I say have a direct impact upon my finances. of course, there is that matter on financial management. Even if I have enough, I set priorities. One thing I appreciate with my two daughters is that they never ask for expensive or the latest gadgets, just the basic needs like computer or cellphone and don’t really mind hand-me-downs from me. I am proud that they save their hard-earned income for their education or real estate investment.

Sometimes, a painful situation will wake us up to the role that our vocabulary is playing, as a woman named Caryn discovered. After she was laid off from her engineering job, she started telling people, ““I am unemployed.” Caryn desperately searched for a new job, without success. Then she realized that by continually saying that she was unemployed, she was creating that situation. So she stopped using that word, and shortly afterwards, she was offered an engineering position that would pay all of her bills.

I believe that just changing the words I was using with myself and others brought abundance very quickly into my life.

Here are some affirmations that I often say daily.

I am open to receive.
I am open to abundance.
I am very focused and persistent.
I am wealthy and successful, everyday, in all that I do.
I am always supplied with whatever I require.
I am prosperous, healthy and happy.
I am ready to receive all that I require.
I am worthy of receiving abundance.
I am the source of my abundance.
I am a brilliant and savvy business person.
I am open to opportunities.
I am commited, determined and passionate about what I do.
I am capable.
I am a master at what I do.
I am a success.
I am generous.
I am happy, healthy, and wealthy.
I am wealthy in every areas of my life.
I am open to the flow of great abundance in all areas of my life.
I am so happy and grateful now that I make PHP_____ per month.
I am becoming more prosperous and successful every day.
I am talented and resourceful.
I am building a successful and important business that will assist in making a difference in my life and the lives of those I touch.
I have an abundance of whatever I require.
I have absolute certainty in my ability to generate any amount of income I choose.
I have unlimited abundance.
I have more than enough.
I have all the resources I need right now to become a multi-millionaire.
I have all the skills, intelligence, contacts and money I need right now to create an incredible masterpiece with my business.
I give and receive freely.
I value my time, energy, and money.
I consistently attract success-minded entrepreneurs to assist me to grow my business.
I deserve to be prosperous.
I focus on what I love and draw it to me.
I trust that the universe will always meet my needs.
I give myself permission to have what I want.
I expect and receive the very best.
I accept good things into my life with gratitude.
I have much to offer the world.
I allow myself to enjoy life.
I bring love to everything I do.
I appreciate all that I have.
I always do my best.
I give myself permission to be, do, and have what I want.
I use my thoughts and emotions to attract abundance effortlessly.
I have great abundance flowing into my business, which affords every luxury that I desire.

Indeed, what you say is what you get.

22Feb 2014

Blog Giveaway: Get a chance to win a Mobile Photo lab or a Label Maker. #EpsonforMoms

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado

Update March 26- Mommy Blogger Contest Entries with the top 3 most number of Qualified Comments

1. Tina Ong

http://thephenomenalmama.blogspot.jp/2014/02/my-new-organizing-buddy-epson.html 191

2. Cai Sio

http://www.applesanddumplings.com/2014/03/an-epson-giveaway-for-oc-and-crafter-in.html 147

3. Tin Dychiao

http://www.manilafashionobserver.com/2014/02/lets-do-epson-labelworkspicturemate.html 131

DEADLINE is March 21: Get a chance to win a PictureMate PM245 or a LabelWorks LW-300. Check out my contest/giveaway below the cut for more details.

All moms are busy moms. Now even if my kids are all grown-up, I still need a system for everything. Being organized brings so much peace of mind and a balance between having grace for yourself and doing hard work. There are many ways to organize and one of them is setting up labelling system especially with our laundry. With adult children, our clothes get often mixed up. Of course , one way is to use a pen to mark each clothing item. But how cool is that? What about the photos taken from my digital camera? Does it need to be forever floating in the “cloud”?

At a mommy blogger event organized by Epson , they showed us how to turn the ordinary to an extraordinary. I loved how they showed two products that every mommy can use: the Epson Label Maker and the Epson Picture Mate. The Labelmaker creates perfect labels every time while the Picture Maker is your friendly mobile photo lab.

You will be amazed with these two Epson products but let me show you why:

Epson LabelMaker LW-300

Don’t you love a system where you can churn out labels in a fast and efficient way? Epson showed us with this lightweight and portable LW300 that accepts 9, 12 and 18 mm tape widths. It is also ideal for your home office labelling , including filing, storing, asset tagging and barcode printing. At home it is great to label your medicines and those pretty generic bottles at the kitchen.

With a wide selection of tapes, sizes and colors , I can be sure one is right for me. Imagine, I have the choice of standard, transparent, pastel, metallic, ribbon , iron-ons and specialist cable wrap labels. Each tape is 8 meters long and quite economical because it leaves minimal margins and less waste.

It is quite user friendly. In each box, there is a default black ink on white sticker label. Just remove it and place directly on the slot. It needs six triple A batteries though.

It is so simple to use especially with its ergonomic buttons. Now you will be so amazed at the 14 font types and 10 different styles (bold, shadow, outline,) 457 symbols and 87 frames for cool designing on your label. There are dedicated buttons to give quick access to fonts, frames, cutting and printing functions. It can also store up to 50 custom label designs for instant recall. The backlit LCD screen gives a clear view whatever the light conditions are.

The first thing I did is label my Label works. It is so pretty. I will be using my Epson Labelworks to label my clothes so it is easier to sort out the laundry and store in our respective cabinets.

Janice , Mommy Mundo created a ribbon label. Love it? I am sure you do.

Epson PictureMate PM 245: Your Mobile Photo Lab

What is the use of those awesome digital photos if they cannot be printed. I know we can have online photos but it is also good to organize some of these selected photos in a paper album. I have always wanted to print family photos or even my customized photos instantly and with a photo reproduction that lasts? Epson showed us the Picturemate PM 245 with it s Epson Micro Piezo print head technology. It aims to deliver superb and lasting photo prints at amazing print speed and low cost.

Look at how handy it looks. Photo printing is made easy even without a PC. It can create 4 x 6 photo prints in lab quality in 37 seconds. As an added bonus, it comes with the option of borderless printouts. Wow, I can now easily customize printing to fit various photo sizes for IDs, passports and visas. With just one click, I can print multiple copies in multiple sizes.

I can produce 150 4R prints with a picture pack that costs only 1200 pesos or 8 pesos for each 4R print. Now that’s affordable considering I can create my customized printing needs.

According to Epson, the smudge , scratch, water and fade-resistant Epson Claria photographic inks creates such vibrant photos that last up to 200 years. Direct printing is done through the built-in memory card or connecting the digital camera using PictBridge or USB direct, The tiltable 2.4″ LCD screen allows you to view and make last-minute effects before printing. Now you know why it is so amazing!

After the mommy blogger event, we all had a photo shoot and to test drive the printer. It is so nice. Now you know why I believe the Epson LabelWorks & PictureMate makes organizing so much easier and fun!

I will be using the Epson PictureMate for printing out the family travel photos that are stored in my hard drive.

Suggested Selling Prices

The Epson Picturemate PM 245 SRP is 7,995 pesos and the Photo cartridge T5852 with the 150 sheets 4R is PHP 1,200.

The Epson Labelworks LW 300 SRP is 2,268 pesos while the LW 400 is 3,175 pesos. Cartridges are : ?9mm Tape SRP: PHP 582.00
12mm Tape SRP: PHP 582.00

LabelWorks Tapes and PicturePack are available at Printers2Go at http://printers2go.ph or email printers2go@gmail.com

Contest Mechanics

1. Just write on the comment section below “I WANT PICTUREMATE AND LABELWORKS ” and your reasons why
i.e. “I WANT PICTUREMATE AND LABELWORKS so that I can creatively feature my baby’s milestones on the scrapbook I am making for her.

2. Multiple entries/ comments from the same commenter will only be counted as one entry.

3. Winners should be based in the Philippines or have a Philippine mail address.

4. Please make sure your name in the comment section matches your ID card which will be used in claiming the prize.

5. If I get chosen to be the top 3 mom bloggers with the most number of valid comments, I get the chance to raffle either a PictureMate PM245 or LabelWorks LW-300 so help me promote this blog post too.

i. Most number of valid comments – (1) PictureMate PM245 worth 7,995 pesos
ii. 2nd most number of valid comments – (1) LabelWorks LW-400 worth 3,175 pesos
iii. 3rd most number of valid comments – (1) LabelWorks LW-300 worth 2,268 pesos

5. Deadline for comments: March 21, 2014

21Feb 2014

Thou shalt not gossip

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

No, it is not part of the 12 commandments so we often think that is perfectly alright to gossip especially when we are offended by someone. It is a nasty way of getting even. Some people even call it therapy so they make fun of their victims. No wonder back-talks are so rampant. It happens in the office, sari-sari store hang-outs, bars and wherever two or more heads come together.

We could even be guilty ourselves when we subconsciously join in the chatter about somebody else. There is some kind of thrill in contributing information (more often an exaggerated version) and making a juicy item even juicier at the expense of other people. Does it even come as a surprise that tabloid blind items are devoured like hotcakes?

But gossip is not just plain senseless chatter. While we often think that telltales are harmless and passing, it can actually be a bad reflection on the rumormongerer. Yes, that could be me and you. M.Farouk Radwan explains in his article “The Psychology of Gossip” that it is a sign of “low self esteem, jealousy, frustration, anger and weakness.”

“Ate, magandang salita po ba ang hinayupak?” (Is the word “hinayupak” good?) Mimi’s maid asked. There is no direct translation of “hinayupak”. It is coined from the Tagalog term “hayop” or animal.

Mimi wondered where the househelp picked up the word. “Well, it depends. If it is said jokingly, it is okay. But if said when mad, it could be bad. Why?”

“I overheard your mother-in-law call you ‘hinayupak kong manugang’ (loosely translated as an animal-like daughter-in-law) as she spoke to her sister and it did not sound good.” No wonder her husband’s relatives give her a funny look and a cold shoulder treatment during family gatherings.

A few months after, her mother-in-law’s storekeeper remarked at Mimi, “You’re not that bad. Your mother-in-law told me you have an attitude.”

Norman had it worse. His production assistant spread the rumor that he has been keeping the office kitty to himself and uses the money to renovate his house. The technical people came to Norman’s defense. He was just not the type to do it. He has always been fair and square with them in the distribution of talent fees even of food during production work.

Norman was lucky his good reputation protected him from the vicious gossip of a young gossiper. It was just quite unfortunate for Mimi to be an unwitting victim of one person she trusted.

Going beyond skin deep, jealousy might have been the main reason why the production assistant spread lies about Norman. The girl is an only child used to getting all of her parents’ attention. It must have been hard for the brat to accept that someone was getting better praises so she attempted to discredit her immediate supervisor. Lucky for Norman, his colleagues’ belief in him quashed the bad press release before it went too far.

Mimi’s mother-in-law, on the other hand, may have been driven by a sense of low self-esteem. She is person with disability and tried to compensate her physical weakness with a strong presence. Her voice is booming and bosses everybody around with her nitpicking in an attempt to put up an air of superiority. It must have been harder to sustain her superficial confidence when her son married a professional whom everyone found quite pleasing so she did everything to discredit her daughter-in-law with every opportunity she gets.

Understanding the psychology of the tittle-tattler may help the offended party to be more magnanimous but more often than not, the ugly scars stay. It took a while before Norman forgave his erring subordinate but he made sure walls were built between them. Mimi may have chosen to forgive her mother-in-law out of love for her husband but the crack of distrust forever stays in her mind affecting their relationship one way or the other.

Gossip hurts way deep than we can ever imagine. No wonder it is aptly called backstabbing. Pope Francis put it succinctly as he branded gossip as murder. In his September 14, 2013 homily at the Vatican, he pointed out that “when we participate in this sin, we imitate Cain’s gesture in killing his brother Abel.”

He expounded on the First Letterof John the Apostle, “anyone who has hatred for his brother is a murderer, he walks in darkness, he who judges his brother walks in darkness,” and that those who judge or speak ill of others are “Christian murderers.”

Ouch! That means we are no better than the cold-blooded criminal in death row. So how do we bite our tongue in the face of very tempting chinwags?

Pope Francis gives a heavenly motivation for a down-to-earth advice. Although some people believe certain persons deserve to be gossiped about, he encouraged the Mass-goers to “Go and pray for him! Go and do penance for her! And then, if it is necessary, speak to that person who may be able to seek remedy for the problem. But don’t tell everyone!”

The spirit may be willing to change but the flesh is too weak to resist. That is where the grace comes in. Pope Francis adds, ““We ask for grace so that we and the entire Church may convert from the crime of gossip to love, to humility, to meekness, to docility, to the generosity of love towards our neighbor.”

Amen to that.

(Written by Jasmine B. Barrios at the Philippine Online Chronicles)

Photo: “The boring life of a gossip” by Sili[k], c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

18Feb 2014

You will be blown away by the penalty of online libel #NoToCybercrimelaw

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 1 Comment

Originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles/ Blog Watch

As one of the petitioners in the Philippine Internet Freedom Alliance (PIFA) versus the the Cybercrime Prevention Act or Republic Act 10175 , I believed that the law only increases the lavish power of Philippine libel laws. United Nations Human Rights Council is correct in calling Philippine libel law ‘excessive.’

The Supreme Court (SC) does not seem to agree with the United Nations. Today, the SC “ruled on the constitutionality of online libel when it further declares that Sec 4 C4 which penalizes online and cyber-libel is not unconstitutional with the respect to the original author of the post.” It means that those who participate in the libelous statement or message after it is posted violates Constitutional principles. Yes, it is safe for you to share this article to your social media network.

Atty. Harry Roque in a statement , said that “no less than the U.N. Human Rights Committee has already declared that Philippine Criminal Libel Law is contrary to Freedom of Expression. The Court’s decision failing to declare libel as unconstitutional is therefore contrary to Human Rights Law. “

I am so disappointed at the SC decision on online libel . I welcome though, their decision on the unconstitutionality of the provisions such as the Take Down clause and the decision to strike down the real time gathering of information. The fight to protect our internet freedon and hashtags #notocybercrimelaw continue in social media.

Though my lawyer-husband warned me that “libel has always been a crime, whether committed online or the old-fashioned, printed way”, I am dumbfounded at the higher penalty. In the case of libel, under Article 355 of the Revised Penal Code, the penalty for libel ranges from P200 to P6,000 on top of the six months to six year-long jail time . The penalty would be increased by one degree higher under the Cybercrime Law. If I am charged with libel, I could end up in prison for 12 years. Penalties for online libel is far more severe than the penalties for offline libel.

Rep. Terry Ridon of Kabataan party-list says that “the upholding of the provision for online libel poses imminent threats to many content creators. Libel in itself has been abused for so many years to harass and malign journalists. What’s stopping cunning individuals from exploiting the new online libel provision? I see none”

Inday Varona, former head of citizen journalism site, said “ we tried to monitor the patently libelous posts. But the problem with libel as a criminal offense is, it encourages reprisals even when a post is true, fair and motivated by the best intentions. A criminal case is always a cause for concern. You think warlords care about the effort you took to be fair and truthful?” I agree with Inday that the SC decision “only makes citizen watchdogs vulnerable to people in power with the resources to harass voices of dissent.”

The Bloggers and Netizens for Democracy (BAND), composed of petitioners in G.R. 203469, are going back to the Supreme Court soon to file a “motion for partial reconsideration” regarding its decision on the draconian Cybercrime Law. I will join the fight to decriminalize Philippine libel. Goodness gracious, our country is one of the few countries in the world that still considers libel a criminal offense.

In the meantime, how does one protect from being sued for online libel? “Writing well is the best defense”, my husband tells me. In other words, the best defense against anything that would curtail our freedom of expression, be it online or offline, is to express ourselves in words and deeds that are thoughtful, truthful and honest. It will force those who have anything at all worthwhile to say online to write well. My husband assures me that I won’t go to jail as longas I write well. He adds that “there’s nothing like a virtual gun to the head to make one choose his words wisely. And to craft one’s writings carefully and deliberately.” This includes writing opinions based on facts, and using words like “alleged” or adding a question mark to a statement. I have a lawyer to consult so it is easier for me to ask if I am being libelous or not.

I have no desire to spend the rest of my prime time years in jail so I will make sure I slug it out online with finesse.

Photo by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado. Some rights reserved.

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