Happy Kainan Monday: Eating Together = Family Happiness

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Don’t we just love family meals together? It’s the perfect time and place to reconnect and to show my girls that they are our priority. Sitting across the table is where and when I find out more about my children’s likes, dislikes, and daily life. Now that they are adults, it is the place where I discover their career plans or frustrations at work. It is actually the family conversations that are important — they are one of the few times parents can find out what their children are up to (and vice versa). As my daughters’ social lives get even busier, it becomes a challenge to get the family to sit down. During these special meals, I make it a point that I dish up something new on the dinner table.

Happy family meals together are long-time tradition that is timeless.

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Embassy of the United States in Manila invites bloggers

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Photo from Jane Uymatiao. Me and Assistant Cultural Affairs, Joe Tordella with Jay de Jesus on far left and Juned Sonido at the center.

The government inviting bloggers is slowly catching on. The Singapore Tourism Board brought me to their Singapore Food Festival 2009 and also Singapore Food Festival 2010. Our own Philippines’ Department of Tourism invited a few bloggers to the Black Eyed Peas Concert and Meet Apl de Ap in Singapore. It was a matter of time that the embassies in the Philippines would invite bloggers to their reception or events.

The Embassy of the United States in Manila is not far behind. Jay de Jesus, the Emerging Media Specialist for Public Affairs of the US Embassy recommended a few bloggers to a reception hosted by Counselor for Public Affairs, Richard W. Nelson to welcome their new and current Cultural Affairs Attache, Alan R. Holst, and Assistant Cultural Affairs Attache, Joseph Tordella.

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The Natasha Goulbourn Foundation: Bringing depression to light

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““Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all.” Bill Clinton

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Did you know that the Philippines has the highest incidence of depression in Southeast Asia? In 2004, there were over 4.5 million cases of depression reported in the Philippines.

Jeanne Goulbourn shares her wisdom on depression.

““Depression is a condition that knows no social class; it could strike anyone regardless of intelligence, educational attainment and financial standing.”

This wisdom she has learned in the midst of pain brought about by the sudden and untimely demise of her well-loved daughter, Natasha, who suffered from depression. As she grieved over her daughter’s passing, Jeanne said she asked God what losing her daughter meant, and prayed for a sign. The sight of over 100 dolphins convinced her she had a higher calling to help people with depression.

“I prayed that if I see five dolphins, Natasha might be in hell. If I see 10 dolphins, could she be in purgatory? But God, if you show me a lot of dolphins, more than 10, I know my daughter is with you. We saw about 108 in Puerto Galera,” she recalled, saying the sight was so rare it even brought the boatman to tears.

Like Jeanne, we know our grief will always be a part of our life and we eventually find ways to resolve it. She and a group of friends from various sectors formed the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF) five years after the death of Natasha. Its primary advocacy is to promote awareness on depression.

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Not many know what depression is. I have written about suicide prevention and mental health before just to raise awareness. I don’t claim to be an expert on mental health. It’s just that in the course of my grief work at the Compassionate Friends Philippines, I’ve come across a few observations of these mental health issues.

1. Shame often prevents a person from seeking medical help because of this stigma towards mental illness. And even if they ask for help, the gravity of their problem is minimized as mere despair. Oh yes, I know of one death by suicide from a friend because of this reason alone.

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Birthday greetings to the love of my life

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And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln

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Butch turned 51 years old today. He is two years younger than me. As in all birthdays in my family, I celebrate it with food. The more we praise and celebrate life, the more there is in life to celebrate. This time around, I feel bad for waking up late and not preparing a special menu as I used to do in the past before my life became so busy. I love that he did not complain though. He even bought his own birthday cake for lunch. It makes me think that birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. (kidding!)

We spent the afternoon at the resting place of our beloved son watching the pretty blue dragonflies hovering nearby as well as the white-speckled butterfly that fluttered by the flowers on the basket. Just watching the wonders of nature was enough joy.

Earlier, I bought bright orange and pink flowers to brighten our living and dining room. I added a pale violet orchid plant to add the final touch on my antique writing table. He loved the flower arrangement and I hope that made up for my laziness today.

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Is there life after high school?

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The Groovies, my high school classmates (circa St Theresa’s College Cebu 1974) once again got into the groove of bonding moments. There were reasons to celebrate. Our class salutatorian, Deirdra came home from New Jersey for a visit. Birthday celebrants needed to make a wish and the groovies from Manila missed Cebu. You know, I look forward to these small reunions. Groovies remind me that we are still cool and awesome despite the passage of time. I draw inspiration from classmates that still manage to look good.

Marget Fernan-Villarica not only hosted the party but our stay as well in her lovely, comfy home. Our current president, Nerissa Soon-Ruiz gave this brilliant idea of auctioning off our give-aways to raise funds for our batch project. What fun!

Tess, the preceding batch president told me to write an article for our Coral reunion last year. It is only this year that I got to read the printed version of the STC Annual 2009.

Here it is:

Is there life after high school? To be honest, I was relieved when my high school graduation ceremony ended. In high school, I was a painfully shy, mediocre student with average grades (as in 81 to 85). I often felt intimidated by the smart and outspoken girls. You know how it is in high school – there are the popular girls and the invisible girls. I was one of the invisible girls but I was lucky enough to have a few friends who made me feel like I belonged to a group.

So do people ever recover from that intense high school social experience? Some don’t. They spend the rest of their lives trying to justify what they were, or were not, in high school. This is why high school reunions are so emotional, especially the first one. I declined to attend the 25th High School class of 1974 reunion because I was not ready to face that dreaded high school experience once again. Coupled with five deaths of family members in Cebu, I felt Cebu was just bad news for me and going home was not an option at that point.
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Cat lovers watch the musical, Cats

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When Concertus, the local producer of Cats sent two complimentary tickets to the musical “Cats: Now and Forever” , I knew there was no more excuse not to watch the show. They had invited me to the press conference but I was busy finishing an ebook at that time. Anyway, I thought of buying two more tickets for my daughters so they could tag along with us and watch Lea Salonga as Grizabella. I miss my stage mother days and I was certain the daughters still love watching the arts and culture. The last time I was at the Cultural Center was watching my girls dancing ballet.

I thought it was just me but I didn’t get the plot of the musical. One should really read the synopsis before watching the musical. Despite not understanding the story, I loved the cat playground, elaborate lighting, the props, the makeup, the costumes and Lea Salonga of course. She is the only Filipino artist in a production dominated by Australian “triple threat” performers. It was also good that I bought the 50 peso binoculars which I peered into during solo singing. Though seated at balcony 1, I just couldn’t see the details of their “cat-like” makeup in their faces.
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Entertainment breaks with my PLDT MyDSL broadband connection

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Do you know that when I just want to relax, I watch funny or entertaining youtube videos? It takes my mind off work, gives me a lot of laughter to just be and let worries go away for the moment. Even just the expectation of a mirthful laughter involved in watching funny videos has some very surprising and significant neuroendocrine/hormone effect. Experiments showed that viewing a favorite funny video can offset symptoms of chronic stress, which can suppress various components of the immune responses, particularly those related to anti-viral and anti-tumor defenses. See, that’s why I look forward to my entertainment breaks.


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The politics of motherhood

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I cringe every time someone outside the blogging world, asks me “what exactly do you do? or How long do you spend at your computer?” Well, let me just say, that we, mom Bloggers are not frumpy women that hang out with our computers all day. There’s more to being a mom blogger than one might think. Some of us are former career women, and professionals who decided to spend more time with our kids and blog because we are passionate about something and not as our primary job.

We also know when to have fun, to take time away from our kids and to take care of ourselves. When someone feels rotten about their day or asks me “what should I do? we had a fight” , I often say “take care of yourself first. Love yourself. ”

A famous Dalai Lama quote says it all ““If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.” I believe one cannot give what one does not have.
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