Never too early to teach kids about the value of setting goals

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“I want to be an architect. I want to build giant buildings that can touch the clouds,” Jonathan, a 4 year old boy told his mom about his ambition. Jessica encourages her son to dream about the future.

Setting age-appropriate and short term goals

It is never too early to teach kids about the value of setting goals and working their way towards achieving them. Goal setting can help provide children with a promising future.

goal-setting

It’s advisable to start young kids with short term goals that may take only a few days until a week to accomplish. This is a good way for kids to experience successful tasks before aspiring for more challenging and long-term goals.

Parents can help their children reach their full potential by encouraging them to set age-appropriate goals. Start them early to help them work their way towards their objectives. A goal could be as simple as finishing homework, completing a school project, memorizing a poem, practicing dance steps, or studying for a quiz.

Stephanie, 9 years old set a goal to finish a 200-jigsaw puzzle all by herself in a span of few days. Stephanie’s goal may sound trivial for an adult, but at her age, it’s a concrete goal that promotes critical thinking, independence, patience, and determination.

Never underestimate a child’s goal. Small goals can help shape a young one’s character. Every little goal promotes stages of development. It is the role of parents to be aware of their children’s hopes and dreams and teach them how to reach for their goals.

Kids need encouragement no matter how simple their goal is to inspire them to fulfill their objectives. It provides them a sense of purpose and direction. Just like adults, hopes and aspirations bring meaning to a young one’s life. It gives them something to look forward to. Little triumphs become stepping stone for kids to set new and more challenging goals.

When Stephanie finished her 200-jigsaw puzzle on her own, she felt a sense of joy and pride. Her parents showed her how proud they were of her accomplishment by having the puzzle framed. They displayed the puzzle on the living room wall for everyone to see. Stephanie’s mom and dad also rewarded their daughter by bringing her to Puzzle Mansion in Tagaytay to see the grand collection of jigsaw puzzles. Stephanie is excited to build her next jigsaw puzzle.

Children can benefit from fun goals. Little goals that kids enjoy doing can help them aspire for bigger goals in the future. Achieving a small goal can give a child a boost of confidence and energy.

we are all god's children papal visit

Freedom to choose

Parents always have the best interest of their children at heart but as much as you want your child to become successful in life, it’s also important to give them the freedom to choose their path.

Give kids the opportunity to create their own goals and decide what they want to achieve. Parents can guide their children but they should refrain from dictating what they want their kids to do.

Celso was a member of the university basketball team when he was in college. When his son was two years old, he bought him his first basketball. At age three, he bought his son a mini adjustable basketball hoop to develop his motor skills and coordination. Celso hoped that introducing his son to basketball at an early stage would encourage him to follow his footsteps. Despite Celso’s efforts, his son didn’t exhibit passion for basketball as he grew older. At age 7, his son expressed love for music and not sports. His son begged him to enroll him in guitar lessons. Even though Celso was disappointed deep inside, he did not show it. The last thing he wanted to do was discourage his child from what he loves. He did not push his son to follow the path that he wants. Celso supported his son’s love for music by buying him a guitar and enrolling him in guitar lessons. His son is now 12 years old and a member of the school band. Celso is very proud of his young man.

Children who experience freedom to set their own little goals can gain sense of purpose. This kind of freedom can contribute to self-confidence and self-belief. Kids who are guided with goals can enhance decision making and problem solving skills. It also motivates them to work harder to achieve success.

Laying out step by step actions

Kids who have personal goals are likely to do better in life than those who don’t know how to make plans. When you introduce your children to the significance of goal setting, make sure that you also teach them how to reach their goals. Support your child’s dreams by guiding them in planning their course of action.

For example, if your child’s goal is to qualify for the school’s swimming team for the next school year, you can help your child enhance his swimming skills by giving him an opportunity to practice swimming regularly. It’s great if you have your own pool at home or if there’s a nearby pool in your village that he can use. You can also choose to enroll him in advance swimming lessons after school or during weekends. Part of the action steps is investing time and effort to regularly perform swimming drills in order to improve stamina and swimming techniques. When your child is determined to reach his goal, he will work hard to swim better and faster in order to qualify for the team next school year. Your child may also have to learn to make certain sacrifices to achieve his goal. For instance, he may not be able to go to the mall during weekends because he needs to attend swimming lessons. Part of goal setting is learning to set priorities even at a young age.

Learning from mistakes

The road to success is not always smooth. Sometimes there are bumps or roadblocks along the way. Explain to your child that challenges are part of the learning process. It may take a few tries before your child can achieve his/her objectives. Tell your child that it’s normal to make mistakes along the way. The important thing to remember is not to give up. Teach your child how to learn from his/her mistakes and use his/her experiences to do better in the future.

Acknowledging effort

Make it a point to acknowledge your children’s efforts in goal setting and working their way towards achieving their objectives. Applaud their dedication and commitment to their goals, no matter how small it is.

Compliment your child for a job well done. Boost his confidence with praises such as, “I’m proud of you for doing your best. Keep it up!” or “I’m amazed by how focused you are in reaching your goal.”

 

Photo c/o Flickr. Some rights reserved.
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by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco as originally published at Goal-setting for kids: Teaching them early

“Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves.”

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“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” Nelson Mandela

“One of the best investments we can make in a child’s life is high-quality early education.” —US President Barack Obama in today’s State of the Union Address

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that I held your hand on your first day of school in pre-nursery?”, I kissed my daughter’s cheek on her first day of school. Nine years ago, my daughter went back to school, to take her Masters of Arts in Creative Writing. I hugged her for “good luck” to mark another milestone in her life. How time flies indeed.

education

If my parents were alive today, they’d crinkle their brows “What? A starving writer?”

Most parents in the 50s and 60s determined the college courses of their children. Just a few examples in my family. My mom decided that I should take Food Technology when I wanted Business Administration. Mom had a bake shop during those days, and having a food technologist could prove to be an asset. My sister, Lorna wanted to take Speech but mom said there is no money in that field so she dictated Hotel and Restaurant Administration. My younger sister, Myrna yearned to be a writer but mom said “take up Architecture”. Guess where we all ended up? I ended up in the field of business. Lorna is in marketing/public relations while Myrna is now the Mayor in a city in Califorina. Our UP education was not wasted, however, because we took along the discipline, determination and hard work in our respective careers.

My husband took up Law because it was expected of him, being the eldest son with three generations of lawyers in his family. Naturally, relatives probe my daughters, “so will you be a lawyer like your dad?”

graduate school

Maybe my daughter might have the makings of great lawyer but would she be happy enough to sustain a law career in her forties? She could have taken up Law because it is expected of her to do so but ditch it by the time she is forty.

I learned from my parents. When the girls consulted with me on their college degrees, I said “Do whatever you want. Follow your passion. Because if you are happy in the work that you do, there is no need for me to worry if you will be successful. You will be successful if you’re doing something that you love to do.”

education quotes

Rewind. Before the girls went to college, I instilled four things:

    • 1.

Acquire skills

    • that will make you unique and competitive.

 

    • I enrolled them in non-academic courses or engaged them in extra-curricular activities that nurtured their talents. Such activities revolved on ballet , piano and voice lessons, fun science experiments, crafts, swimming, choir tours, computer and web development. I sacrificed on a lot of luxuries just so the girls could enjoy these activities.

2. Money Management
We know that the high income earning jobs are usually from Information Technology, Engineering, Business, Economics, Doctors which none of my girls are taking up. I believe that kids need to learn how to manage their money in order to gain financial freedom no matter their chosen careers. So even if they will turn out to be writers or a chef, they will know how to manage their income and expenses. Money management started when they were little kids. It meant that they couldn’t demand to covet the latest gizmos and gadgets. They knew our priorities and often understood our reasons. My kids never acted like spoiled brats when I told them “no, we can’t buy that right now. Maybe some day. Or let me save for it first.”

3. Do your best but also have fun.
Lauren was a gifted child early on and raked honors till her third grade. I am not sure what happened to her but her grades declined. Maybe a large, traditional school was not ideal for a gifted and sensitive child. Maybe I missed out on something in her development, but I told her not to be pressured to cough up high grades just for me. Their grades belonged to them. I believe kids shouldn’t be displayed as trophies to show off to relatives. A relative used to brag to my dad that her daughter raked so many honors, garnered this and that award and asked very tactlessly “So your kids have any honors?”

I did advise my two girls that to enter into a top-notch university, one needed high grades. It was a reality of life. It was their choice to get high, mediocre or low grades. In the end, I often said “just do your best without losing all the fun”. (Fun meant healthy activities, of course)

4. A life of prayer
Prayer is something that cannot be taught. Parents set that example. They have to see it in me. When the going gets rough, I just say to lift their problems and struggles to God.

“Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves.” Ernest Dimnet

Dove Self-Esteem project: 9 ways parents help build a girls’ body confidence

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The mission of the Dove Self-Esteem Project is helping young people all around the world build positive body confidence and self-esteem. Download “A parent’s guide to building girls’ body confidence“

I used to have beauty anxiety when I was a young child up to my early teens. My uncles would often tease how dark I looked. Perhaps the teasing came about because my mother was fair-skinned. I grew up feeling ugly until I reached 14 years old . Looking at the mirror, I smiled at my image said to myself, “I am beautiful” . Well, I looked more beautiful if I smiled because my non-smiling face makes me look angry. The facts and figures surrounding beauty anxiety in young girls and the pressure to squeeze into rigid definitions is a cause of concern. It affects their self-esteem . I should know. During my elementary years, my grades were below average even failing Filipino or Sewing class. It was only in High School that I realized I was smart after all.

My mother didn’t know better and allowed her brothers to tease me.  As a parent, it’s natural to want the best for your child – for them to be happy, healthy and confident individuals. I also failed in this aspect as I didn’t know any better. Thankfully, there are so many resources for parents to consider.

How do you help your daughter or son maintain a positive body image and find their sense of self when their world is filled with unrealistic images of physical ideals; one dimensional, ‘flawless’ beauty, and narrow messages about the ‘perfect’ lifestyle?

How do you help her deal with the pitfalls of teenage life such as appearance related bullying or keep them eating healthily and enjoying exercise (without getting hang-ups about food and body shape)?

Sometimes all these tip are easier said than done, especially during the teen and pre-teen years when their bodies are changing, their self-confidence is fragile and they are trying to make that tricky transition out of childhood.

Because daughters often mirror their mothers’ actions, moms wield the power to mold their children into confident, empowered women. I asked myself if I had somehow mirrored some of my actions to my daughters. Only my daughters can affirm this because I know I made mistakes that I have passed on to them.

But young parents can learn from all the resources available out there and from stories of other parents.

The Dove Self-Esteem Project created Uniquely Me and the expert articles available on our parent’s online hub,  to create a resource for parents that is focused on advice and action. (Download “A parent’s guide to building girls’ body confidence“)

There are nine modules. You need to download the guide since each module details action points. Here is a summary of each module.

1. Learning to love yourself
Lead by example – techniques to cut out the self-criticism and feel better about yourself. This is the most important lesson to pass on.

Self-criticism is common among teenage girls – how often have you urged your daughter not to put herself down? But sometimes we have low self-esteem, too, and it’s possible that you could be teaching her bad habits through the example you set by criticising yourself. Have you ever found yourself looking in the mirror and frowning, or moaning about how you look? You may not even realise you’re doing it, but your daughter probably will.

2. Body Talk: Use the power of your words to feel great
Do away with ‘fat talk’ and start a more positive conversation

Talking about our bodies is like an unwritten rule in female friendship – we do it constantly and automatically. You know how it goes: “I feel fat in these jeans”, “I’ve put on so much weight” or “Gosh, my skin looks awful today”. I say this a lot and I am guilty of passing this insecurity to my girls.

3. Is your daughter’s perception of beauty distorted by the media?
Show your daughter the truth behind magazine images

In the world of Instagram, images of women are manipulated so dramatically these days that it can feel like ‘beauty’ is less and less attainable. Help your daughter resist media influence and see the real picture.

4. The Real Me: An activity to celebrate your daughter’s inner beauty
Get creative with this great confidence-boosting activity

I encouraged my girls to hone their talents like singing and writing. Negative body talk can make it feel like it’s not polite to accept a compliment, or that talking about what we’re good at will be seen as boasting or vanity. But recognising your talents and allowing yourself to value these characteristics is important to developing positive self-esteem.

5. Bullying: Is your daughter being teased about her looks?
Help your daughter deal with hurtful teasing and bullying from peers

Bullies are rarely original when it comes to their insults. What were the most common teases or taunts when you were young? Mine was from my crush “thick lips” .

First, we need to understand what we mean by bullying. Girls and boys disagree, fight, tease and banter with their friends.  Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.”

If the bullying gets worse, know there is an  Anti-Bullying Act of 2013 (Republic Act 10627) especially if the bullying is inside the school premises. This law states that all elementary and high school principals and administrators must craft and adopt policies against bullying and must ensure that they are implemented.

6. Teasing at Home: When does family banter become family bullying?
Watch out for well-meant teasing within the family – it can still hurt

As your daughter becomes a teenager, she will naturally become more sensitive to comments about the way she looks and family members may not realise the impact of their words. Of course, robust discussions and gentle teasing are a part of being a family and can help girls develop and explore their opinions and build resilience to the criticisms that are a part of everyday life. However, it’s worth thinking twice about what builds character – and what diminishes confidence.

7. The Parent Translator: How to improve communication between
parents and daughters
This mini guide will help your teen decode your next communication breakdown

Do you and your daughter seem to argue over the smallest thing? Communicating should be easy. But miscommunication is even easier. You make a simple comment about what your daughter’s wearing and she storms off, slamming the door. You ask what she had for lunch and she assumes it’s an attack about her diet.

8. Attitude to Food: How to encourage your daughter to enjoy
a healthy balanced diet
Foster a healthy relationship with food

The most crucial thing when it comes to our diet is eating a balance of all foods,” explains eating disorder expert and leading UK psychotherapist Dr Susie Orbach. “Getting hung up on labelling certain foods as ‘good’ and others as ‘bad’ isn’t helpful – it creates too many rules that dictate your relationship with food and encourage disordered eating. It’s also usually wrong. Low-fat foods can be loaded with sugar and fillers to give taste when a normal fat version would be nutritionally better.”

9. Show your daughter the benefits of physical activity
Encourage your daughter to move her body and discover the feel-good factor

She doesn’t have to be the sports captain or prima ballerina to feel the benefits of being active; she just needs to find an activity she enjoys that gets her body moving. If she’s physically active regularly, she’s likely to feel better about herself and her body, regardless of whether the physical activity is dramatically changing her shape. The link between physical activity .

The nine tips are useful to any parent. As Lee Haney said “Parents must lead by example. Don’t use the cliche; do as I say and not as I do. We are our children’s first and most important role models.” If there is a beauty legacy I want to impart, it is that I want my daughters to love themselves first. To love yourself, you first need to know yourself, to realize and appreciate your unique, individual ways. A discovery late in life taught me that a loving relationship with myself works because it leads to a loving relationship with others . Loving yourself will eventually show in every action one takes. When we believe in ourselves, we shine with the confidence and vibe we exude.

My father believed in me where teachers failed to #WorldTeachersDay

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Today October 5 is World Teachers’ Day. The United Nations’ (UN) World Teachers’ Day celebrates the role teachers play in providing quality education at all levels. This enables children and adults of all ages to learn to take part in and contribute to their local community and global society.

world teachers dayMy sewing teacher looked like she was going to burst an artery when she saw the cross-stitch pattern on my apron. The next thing I knew, the apron sat on my head. I recall the humiliation but thankfully, none of my classmates laughed. Maybe they did not want to be in my position. I was in third grade but I knew what she did was wrong. How could a teacher not tell me nicely that the original fox pattern-turned-catlike was all wrong? True, my sewing was horrible, but did she have to humiliate me? I can’t recall what happened after that. All I knew is I hated sewing classes and probably all teachers. She made me feel that I was hopeless in my sewing abilities. I got the message that “I can’t” sew rather than “I can” sew with proper guidance. Perhaps this incident discouraged me to try harder in my academics.

Pretty much of my grades during elementary and high school were at best mediocre. Among the four girls in my family, I had the lowest average. I wanted to make my dad proud of me, to see his smile when he looked at my grades. Sensing my dejected look , my dad talked to me ““Don’t worry. I had grades like yours too. In college, that is where I found out I was smart.” His words were like a light bulb.

There is hope. I can be smart.

College came and just as my father had promised, I found my path. My father believed in me where teachers failed to. Every day of my life, I commemorate my father’s memory by carrying his name attached to my married name. He made me believe that ““I can” do it even when I wavered in my self-esteem. How many of us have that one inspirational person who made a significant impact in our life?

There are pointers to recognize a child’s self worth. Some do’s and don’ts shared by esteemed child psychologist, Dr. Honey Carandang are worth mentioning at this point:

1. Spot the child’s area of competence and start to increase his self-worth through that area.

2. Don’t label the child. Labels have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies.

3. Don’t insult the child’s person. When criticizing the behavior, provide alternatives. Suggesting a different way of doing something is always better than saying, ““You are lazy and you don’t know how to sew.”

Dr. Carandang adds: ““A teacher, parent or significant adult has that power to build or put down a child’s self-worth, which is being developed with every interaction he/she has with the adult.” This reminds me of my favorite song ““Greatest Love of All” popularized during my college days that I sang to my dad together with my siblings. The words of the song goes like this :

“I believe that children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”

world teachers day
Not about to be haunted for life with my traumatic sewing experience, I took up the challenge that I could actually sew something. I managed to come up with cross-stitch projects as I patiently breast-fed my youngest child. These projects are now displayed on my kitchen wall, a proud statement that the ““I can’t do it” is a challenge they can actually take to ““ I can do it” one day.

I’d like to believe that the greatest gift we can ever give to our children is a healthy and positive self-concept. This concept of self-worth is also what our country needs today.

This post is in honor of my parents who were also teachers. My dad Jose P. Lardizabal (Accounting / MBA teacher) and mom, Salustiana Veloso (English and Speech teacher), not only gave me the greatest gift of all but taught many students out there.

Time management for children

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Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.”

time management for children

If there is one thing I am proud of my kids (even my departed son), they learned time management. Never were they tardy for school. Never did I ever have to yell at them “Come on, hurry up”. Sure, sometimes it was hard to wake them up but they knew the schedule of each school day and their play time. Their dad may not be a prompt person but you know the kids didn’t have to follow their father’s footsteps. There is no such thing as inherited trait of ““being late”. Teaching my children the values early on in life, particularly the important lesson of time management was crucial part of their growing years. I prepared them for a lifetime of self-discipline helped them in their adulthood.

Time management is not necessarily about getting lots of stuff done, because much more important than that is making sure that you are working on the right things, the things that truly need to be done.

During their pre-teen years, my two girls traveled twice to the USA and Canada through a children’s choir. This entailed discipline and time management skills when it came to costume changes that needed to be done in 1 minute. It also involved checking travel times and being prompt during rehearsals. I am proud to say that the two girls were never lectured by their choir conductor for tardiness.

How did I teach my kids?

time management for children

1. Set clear priorities on daily activities.

A valuable time management technique is to establish a work routine that suits individual physical requirements as well as schedules. This means give a daily schedule. There was a time for schoolwork, naps and play time. By the time, the girls ate solid food, I gave them an hour to finish their lunch. If they weren’t done, I removed the plate. The consequence of getting hungry is not eating their lunch properly. They learned that one has to eat at the proper time. Bedtime routine was also strictly followed. No late nights for my kids up to their pre-teen years. As they reached their teen years, I gave more allowances for them to arrange their schedules but still the bedtime and waking up rule was followed.

2. There are consequences if time is not managed properly.

Of course they knew this very clearly once they were at school. Tardiness had consequences. In fact, I remember as a kid, the tardy were listed in the blackboard.

3. Give them an idea on the possible duration of an activity.

As young kids, I didn’t want them to study long hours so I told them that the maximum is only 2 hours, from 6:00 to 8:00 PM. They had to finish their homework really quickly or their assigned tasks. I encourage them to start with the difficult homework first while they still had energy. It worked quite well and by the time they reached their fourth grade, the kids studied on their own. I reminded them though when bedtime was coming soon, ““It’s almost bedtime. Ten minutes more so wrap things up”.

At every stage of my kids’ life, I learned to adjust the lessons of time management. More leeway was given for them to make decisions on their own and handle their schedules properly. It helped that I installed time-telling tools such as clocks and calendars in every room of the house and gave them watches to monitor their time.

I often told them that if they didn’t manage their time well, they will be far less productive than they could be and get a lot less done. They will also feel much more stressed and overwhelmed, and struggle to find time to spend with the people they care about and to do the things they enjoy.

My two girls are not little girls anymore. In fact, they are adults, working and busy managing their work and social life. Lauren knows when to work hard, and play hard that she takes time off to travel.. M is devoted to her new job but takes the weekend off to socialize with her friends.

Without doubt, parents should give their children an early head start on the lesson of time management. With proper guidance and the right tools , kids will definitely learn this important lesson well.

6 steps to curb your child’s electronic device appetite

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tech_savvy_kidBack in the old days, you can keep kids settled down by giving them toys to play with, pen and paper to draw, storybooks to read, and box of crayons and coloring books to color. Those days are long gone.  Nowadays, if you want a restless child to sit back and relax, you would probably need an electronic device to come to the rescue.

Exposure to gadgets at young ages created a voracious appetite for all sorts of digital media and hi-tech gadgets. Even education has tapped into technology by integrating it in classroom learning. Many schools have realized that technology is essential in helping kids acquire necessary skills and knowledge to cope in a technological driven society.

Today’s young generation have access to different electronic devices for their entertainment. There’s TV, tablets, smartphones, video game consoles.  Tech-savvy kids have technology at the tips of their fingers.

Modern technology has changed the way of life of many people including the way kids entertain themselves and interact with others. Some say that electronic devices have created “anti-social” generation. People may have different notions about so-called “anti-social” behavior exhibited by today’s young generation. If you want a concrete example, all you have to do is make an observation the next time to go to a restaurant.

In most restaurants, you are bound to see kids using their parents’ smart phones or tablets.  You might also see other children playing with their game consoles or listening to music players. There are parents who find electronic devices helpful in keeping their kids entertained over long periods of time. Some say that many kids today spend more time on gadgets and less time talking to other people.  Sad but true.

Bianca, a mother of a seven year old girl was a little sad when she realized how kids bond with each other nowadays.  During a recent family reunion, she saw her daughter and her cousins sitting beside each other. It would have been a nice scene if only they were interacting with one another. Sadly, instead of talking, they were holding their respective iPads and playing different games. They would occasionally ask each other about game moves but conversations were kept to a minimum.

If you’re worried about your child’s insatiable appetite for online browsing, movie streaming, gaming, instant messaging, social media interacting, and so on, then perhaps, it’s time to think of ways to circumvent excessive usage of electronic gadgets.

With summer vacation just around the corner, many kids will have a lot of free time at home.  When there’s no homework and school projects looming in the background, kids can spend more time watching television, playing video games, messaging their friends, and posting on social media networks. Avoid letting electronic devices dominate your child’s summer vacation.

Here are ways that might help curb your child’s inclination for electronic devices.

Set a limit for electronic use. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), kids today spend an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media. Studies have shown that too much use of electronic media can lead to health issues such as attention problems, behavior issues, learning difficulties, sleeping problems, eating disorders, and obesity.  It is recommended that you limit your child’s usage of electronic devices to one to two hours a day. Teach your child about self-discipline in using gadgets.

Monitor children’s media use. It is also important to monitor usage.  Prevent your child from exposure to violence and sexual content by supervising what he or she watches on television and DVDs. Talk to your child about Internet safety rules. In this modern age, it is vital that you protect your child from the risk of cyberbullying. An innocent kid can become a potential target of online predators. Cyber bullies and online predators can hide behind a blanket of anonymity.

Talk to your child about websites that are safe to visit and those that are potentially dangerous and off limits. Explore provisions for parental controls to help you monitor what your child is doing online. When it comes to gaming, make sure that the video games that your child is playing are age appropriate.

It is recommend that you set up your computer, television, and video consoles in a central area in your home such as the living room, where members of the household often pass for easier monitoring.

Establish “no technology zones”.  Designate certain areas in your home where electronic devices are not allowed. For instance, you can make it a rule not to bring gadgets to the dining room so that the family can enjoy meal times.

Be a good example to your child.Set a good example to your child by limiting your use of electronic devices when the family is together.  For instance, refrain from texting or accepting calls during meals.

Promote real play time. Encourage your child to interact with other children through traditional games. When your kid has reached the allotted time limit for gadget use, give him or her other fun options to do.  Invite your child to go outside where he or she can play with other kids. Introduce your kid to games that you used to play when you were a child like piko (hopscotch), taguan (hide and seek), habulan (tag), patintero, agawan base, tumbang preso, and so on.

For indoor activities, teach your child to play board games. Make it more fun by playing board games with the whole family. You can also enjoy putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

Leave gadgets when spending time with the family. Leave gadgets behind when you out with the family.  The absence of gadgets can help encourage family conversations especially when dining or going out.  Use gadget-free time to talk about things that are happening at work or in school. It will give you an opportunity to strengthen family ties.

 

 

Photo: “Alessi’s turn on the iPad” by Marcus Kwan, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.

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Rachel Yapchiongco, also known as Rach to her friends, is a Psychology and Marketing Management graduate of De La Salle University.  Rachel is a chocolate lover, full-time mom to a charming young boy and married to an entrepreneur who has a passion for cooking. She shares parenting experiences and slices of everyday life on her personal blog calledHeart of Rachel.

 

by Ma. Rachel R. Yapchiongco , originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles , How to curb your child’s electronic device appetite

Are you a yeller? — How to yell less and love more

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yell

Me. I lovingly say soothing words with matching hugs and kisses when I wake the two younger children around 5am during school days. Twenty minutes after that, I yell at them “Baka dumating na ang service hindi pa kayo tapos, hindi pa nakakain ng breakfast. Dalian nyo na! Blah…blah…blah…” in the effort to hurry them up because they haven’t eaten breakfast yet and the school service is already waiting at the gate. Yes, I have done this, at 5:30am. Tsk.
BJ, a teenager. “I hate it when my mom yells. She makes me feel like I’m stupid. The more she yells, the more I want to do what she doesn’t want me to do. Talking to me and not yelling is better because the more she yells, the more I shut down my brain and stop listening to her.”
HK, a pre-teen. “Natatakot ako pag sumisigaw si Mama ko. Parang lagi na lang mali ang ginagawa ko. Baka sa galit niya pag sumisigaw siya, masaktan niya ako.”
YA, office worker. “Our boss is a yeller. He loses his temper quickly and does not hesitate to yell at anyone of us if we make a mistake. Sana kung ginagawa niya yun in private, eh hindi, sa harap pa ng mga officemates namin. We are not happy in the office anymore. We are thinking of a mass resignation, para matauhan siya.”

Why yell when you can perfectly say your piece in peace?

We have yelled for a thousand different reasons but first and foremost of these reasons would be because we want to assert that, yes, we are right and that the other person is wrong.

We yell because we want to prove a point and get our message across.
We yell because we want to be heard.
We yell because we feel superior to the one we are yelling at.
We yell because we are in a hurry and the others are slowing us down.
Why, we even yell virtually when we use ALL CAPS and end these with a lot of !!!!!
Sometimes we yell just because …

On the other hand, have you ever been yelled at?

Do you like the feeling of being yelled at, whether you made a mistake or not?

Do you feel small and want the ground to open up and swallow you to escape being yelled at?

Do you feel like yelling back? Do you want to hit the person yelling at you? Or do you just turn your back before you do something you’d regret later?

No matter what the circumstances are, being yelled at is not something we look forward to — not at the receiving end, ever.

Do you remember the last time you were yelled at?

How did you feel? Check all that applies below:

o Disrespected
o Ashamed
o Angry
o Misunderstood
o Afraid
o Lonely
o Rebellious
o Frustrated
o Hurt
o Guilty

Mothers who yell

Mothers are known to yell at their children, whether to ask them to hurry up, or to finish whatever tasks they are doing. More often than not, mothers yell to be heard and to stress a point especially if there is discord among the brood. Yelling for the children to brush their teeth is at times unavoidable but to add some words that demean them and hurt their feelings is definitely unnecessary.

To habitually yell at the children when there is no reason to will create a lot of negativity. At the end of the day, mothers who habitually yell feel guilty and sometimes fall all over themselves to correct what they have done.  However, since they are so used to yelling, the next day finds them back to the same yelling cycle.

Yelling makes children feel inferior and mentally anguished at not being able to live up to the expectations and standards that their mother (or father) has for them.  Children who are in the teenage years are as vulnerable to being yelled  at as much as the younger children. On the bridge to maturity, these teens will carry the burden of insecurity as they meet other teens outside the home setting. Yelling is detrimental to the sound development of teenagers.

Habitual yelling

Yelling, name-calling and swearing are not ways to solve conflicts. Habitual reactions that include yelling breaks down a person’s inhibitions and may draw out harmful tendencies that do not manifest when there is peace and quiet. Habits are patterns that are easy to repeat but difficult to break. Yelling breeds hostility that is harmful not just to others but to the person himself, alienating him from loved ones he may not have a real intention to hurt.

We feel guilty for yelling at others, especially if the reason is trivial and could have been talked through in a quiet manner.

Alternatives to yelling

It is difficult not to yell especially when we feel pressed for time, tired and stressed. It takes a lot of will power to refrain from habitual yelling, but over time, it can be done. How?

o Cool off by staying physically away from the situation and assessing what needs to be said and done.
o Count to ten or even up to fifty.
o Breathe deeply before saying anything.
o Put a hand on your mouth to keep yourself from yelling.
o Think of how hurtful it is when being yelled at.
o Ask others to give you a heads up once they feel like you are about to yell.
o Plan ahead to avoid mishaps.

Breaking the yelling cycle is not easy

Life is too short to be spent in a continuous state of being upset. We should fill our hearts with joy and love and not hurt and pain. There will always be missing socks and spilled water but living in peace and harmony, in as much as we can try to achieve is more important.

Are we ready to take the challenge to yell less and love more?

Let’s save our voices for situations that need us to really yell like “Run!!!” or “Fire!!!”

 

Photo: from flickr, some rights reserved

 

As originally posted by Julie Fuertes on the Philippine Online Chronicles.

A breastfeeding room in the office

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A breastfeeding room in the offices makes a more comfortable, happier mom which will equate to a more productive employee

It was 1986 when I went back to work when my daughter was only 4 months old. I was still breastfeeding her at that time so I had to bring along bottles and an insulated container to bring home, my breast milk filled bottles. Mommies are so blessed these days. There are so many aids to help breastfeeding moms and now , even a law that encourages breastfeeding in the workplace.

I didn’t have a breastmilk pump so I chose to express breast milk by hand. You can just imagine how I juggled my work with hand expression. Even with limited resources back then, I felt motivated the breastmilk to my baby girl.

While visiting the breastfeeding room at Philips Philippines Inc., I marveled at the array of breastfeeding paraphernalia.

This Breastfeeding month, Philips Philippines Inc. is partnering with different private institutions in the country to raise awareness on the importance of breastfeeding by creating environments that are comfortable for a nursing mother.

This means providing support for moms who wish to breastfeed– in public, at home, at work or out-and-about – providing guidance and designing products to make their journey comfortable.

To help every mother in the community understand the essential benefits of breast milk, Philips AVENT provides nursing mothers with innovations that enhance her breastfeeding journey even after mothers return to work.

Look at this breastfeeding container. A mom need not bring bottles to work.

A sterilizer completes the breastfeeding aids. Moms don’t need to bring their breast pump to work .

I believe breastfeeding moms should feel comfortable wherever they choose to breastfeed, whether at home or at work.  This breastfeeding room really looks so comfy.

I am glad there are more breastfeeding friendly workplaces and companies who believe a more comfortable, happier mom would equal to a more productive employee.

Memorable selfie moments with Billy, the Selfie Kitty. #SelfieExpert

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I am so excited to share memorable selfie moments of my adorable fluffy friends. Meet my two Siamese kitties named Missy and Billy. I got Missy in 2008 while Billy came to my life in 2012 , the year selfies became popular. Missy is more of a laptop kitty and I have blogged about her already. Look. 

memorable selfie moments

Left to right: Missy and Billy

I have been taking selfies with my two kitties since the word “selfie” became a household name. Let me focus on the Billy selfies because I documented his life when selfies became popular on the year he was born.

memorable selfie moments

Meet Missy. She is a laptop kitty.

Meet Billy, the Selfie Kitty

While I call Missy the laptop kitty, Billy is dubbed the selfie kitty in our household. Of course, I have had selfies with Missy but the selfies with Billy are much more adorable. He is quite a baby.

memorable selfie moments

Meet Billy

Let me start on the day , Billy came into our lives.  A facebook friend saw that I loved cats so he thought of giving me  Billy. This is my first selfie with Billy when I brought him home on August 2012. Isn’t he so cute? He looks terrified though but you will see that he was getting used to cellphone cameras in succeeding selfies.

memorable selfie moments

The year 2012 was also the year that my home became my empty nest. I love that my cats filled that void because they offer unconditional love and companionship. During the day when my family isn’t at home , I sometimes end up being alone in my corner of the world. I enjoy comfortable silences with them as they snuggle close to me.

Even during breakfast, I allow the cats to sit on my lap or to be seated beside my chair.

Of course, Billy sees his image on the camera and looks like he is in awe of himself. Missy got jealous and joins Billy on my lap. I find it so hilarious. All captured with a selfie.

So why do I love my fluffy friends and enjoy taking selfies with them? 

I am grateful to have  purring, gentle feline friends in my life.  My pets are a part of my family and I care that they are part of my photos. I also want to share the joy they give to me on instagram , twitter and facebook.

Aren’t they just adorable? Taking selfies with these fluffy friends of mine is such a stress buster.

Look how huggable Billy is in the next few selfies I took with him. It is quite relaxing. I just had to capture these moments.

He acts just like a human baby when cuddled on my arms.

Billy knows when I take selfies. Sometimes he just ignores his image but I notice he stares at himself at times. Well, taking selfies is so much a part of his cat life and mine.

Don’t you think Billy should get the title, the Selfie Kitty?

Though there are several memorable moments with Billy. One that strikes me are when he lies on top of my tummy and soothes my stressful day.  Billy with his  purring sounds is giving me the signal “all is well,” a message I can both feel and hear.

Once my pet kitty starts purring at me, I feel the weariness of the day melting away. My cute and cuddly stress-buster calms my nerves, makes me smile, helps me sleep better and even pushes me to exercise more.

Billy’s paw reaching out to my hand is the most memorable cat selfie moment.  Yes , I hear him purr “All is well”.

What about you? Are you planning to take selfies with  your fluffly friends?  You might ask “Which OPPO #SelfieExpert smartphone produces the best selfies?”

It is none other than the  OPPO F3 #SelfieExpert Dual Selfie Camera. Imagine the possibilities.

1. The dual 16 megapixels f/2.0 + 8 megapixels f/2.4 secondary camera allows you to fit your adorable fluffly friend  into the frame and get that perfect selfie.

2.  Selfie lovers will love the other options Oppo offer such as the live filters, a gif mode, and double exposure and even panorama selfies.

3. The Oppo F3 allows you to capture sharp selfies and 120-degree wide-angle view which is great for groupfie shot of more than one fluffly friend.

4. The OPPO F3 has an internal storage of 64 gigabytes with 4 gigabytes RAM which means lots of storage space for all your photos, selfies without affecting the performance of your phone.

5. The 3,200mAh battery is good enough to last an entire day with moderate use. And you don’t have to worry about charging. The Oppo F3  comes bundled with fast charging (2A output current) to quickly charge the phone in about an-hour-and-a-half.

6.  Even if not taking selfies, the  rear camera has 13-megapixel sensor  phase detection autofocus  which is handy.

I can imagine taking more selfie moments with the Oppo F3.   Billy , the selfie kitty will surely purr with joy during our  next selfie with this #SelfieExpert. Watch out for in at the BillyandMissy instagram account.

 

 

 

The 3 health benefits of cat ownership

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pet cats
I don’t know about you but I just adore cats.I have four felines at home: Billy, Missy , Zoey and Nomi.  They are the most huggable pets ever and they keep me company now that the girls are living independently .  Having a pet can be so comforting especially if one gets stressed out. For sure techniques like meditation, yoga and blogging can be therapeutic. But owning these furry lovable felines can also have many stress relieving and health benefits.  Let’s see.

1. Cats can improve your mood– Never mind if certain online characters are serial attention-seekers breathing down your necks. It’s almost impossible to remain in a foul mood when a super-soft furry cat rubs up against your legs begging to sit beside you. Once my pet kitty cat starts purring at me, I feel the weariness of the day melting away. My cute and cuddly stress-busters calm my nerves, make me smile, help me sleep better and even push me to exercise more. There is evidence that just 15 to 30 minutes of quality time with a cat can calm your nerves and boost your mood.

When you spend time with a cat, your production of serotonin, a chemical that boosts feelings of well-being, goes up, and your cortisol levels go down. Cortisol, along with high blood pressure, is a result of stress, and can lead to high cholesterol and hypertension. This means that spending time with a cat can keep you healthier in the long run

Want to be healthier? Get a pet!

cats
2. Cats Stave Off Loneliness and Provide Unconditional Love Cats offer unconditional love and companionship. During the day, my family isn’t at home so I end up being alone in my corner of the world. I enjoy comfortable silences with them as they snuggle close to me.

A 2003 Swiss study “found that having a cat in the house is the emotional equivalent of having a romantic partner. As well as initiating contact much of the time, studies have shown cats will remember kindness shown to them and return the favor later.”

But cats really do have the upper hand in these relationships. After thousands of years of domestication, cats have learned how to make a half purr/half howl noise that sounds remarkably like a human baby’s cry. And since our brains are programmed to respond to our children’s distress, it is almost impossible to ignore what a cat wants when it demands it like that.

cuddling

Billy is so huggable.
3. Cats Can Reduce Stress, Sometimes More Than People Of all the reasons why cats (or pets in general) have great health benefits, it is this fact– “While we all know the power of talking about your problems with a good friend who’s also a good listener, recent research shows that spending time with a pet may be even better! Recent research shows that, when conducting a task that’s stressful, people actually experienced less stress when their pets were with them than when a supportive friend or even their spouse was present! ”  Missy, reminds me to stop working and relax.

missy and me
In fact, these cats don’t judge me; they just love me. You should check out my cat photo gallery.

Do you have pets?