Category Archives: Recovery Tips

By: Joseph Romana as originally posted at Philippine Online Chronicles

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.” – Vince Lombardi

“Age wrinkles the body, quitting wrinkles the soul.” – General Douglas MacArthur

“Pain is temporary.  Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong

These and many other similar-minded quotes have brainwashed our generation, and probably the next ones, into a mentality of unnecessary stubbornness.  It’s like, stubbornness = wisdom.

I beg to disagree.  So does Seth Godin who wrote:  “Winners quit all the time.  They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”

QUITTERS WIN TOO

“One day, I promised God that if He would give me my voice back, I would never smoke again.  I got 3 octaves back after quitting.” – Mariah Carey

This is one example of why quitters also win and stubborn people can also lose.  True winners are neither exclusive quitters nor exclusive non-quitters.  Winners make wise decisions, whether quitting or persisting.  They know when to quit and when not to quit.

WHEN NOT TO QUIT

In the quintessential book on the art of quitting successfully called The Dip, Seth Godin identifies the conditions where quitting is beneficial for winning.  He calls these situations, well, dips.

Dips are that parts of our journeys that is a long slog between starting and mastery.  It can actually be a shortcut according to Godin because it can get us where we want to go at a faster clip than any other path.  What do we mean by this?  Let’s look at an example.

Personal finance management may be defined as ensuring all our current and future needs are met.  A big chunk of this includes saving money for investing.  Now, many people are excited when they first save money or take on an insurance policy.  It’s exciting because it’s probably their first major financial decision and it makes them feel like they’re already independent from their parents and they can strike it out on their own.  Ah, yes.  The initial euphoria.

But then after a year or two into the insurance policy payments, they start spending more for gimmicks, travel and gadgets.  Factor inflation into the mix and you have a situation where the monthly premium payments start to become burdens or hindrances to “good times”.  The euphoria has obviously faded and before you know it, what was once considered a joy has become a drudgery.  It is at this stage many young people quit.  This is the dip.

The dip is that temporary plateau that results in a breakthrough afterwards.  After the drudgery, the policy has accumulated so much that the dividends alone start paying for the rest of the premiums due.  Because the young person persisted, he achieved a breakthrough.  In this case, not quitting was the wise thing to do for success.

WHEN TO QUIT

Quitting is the required course of action when we are in a situation that is obviously going nowhere and is a waste of time, especially if there are potentially more productive or rewarding alternatives.  Staying and persisting in a hopeless situation is not wisdom.  Take for example, health.

I know someone who was, to say it in a more politically correct term, very obese.   He ate everything he wanted, as much as he wanted and when he wanted.  His exercise routine consisted purely of alternating biceps curls where he puts food on his mouth with the right hand and drinks from a glass using the left.  He was diagnosed with a serious health condition that required him to lose serious pounds.

Prior to this, he tried to lose weight but failed.  He couldn’t quit his lifestyle.  He persisted.  But after hearing that it posed a threat to his life and knowing it meant leaving his family soon, he got his act together and lost weight.  He quit early enough to win back his health.

Or how about a friend of mine who quit her job as a high-ranking executive even without a replacement job.  Why?  Because she knew that staying on the job was a dead end.  It was hopeless and no amount of persisting and hard work will make things better.  So she quit despite having no backup plan.  And because she quit, she was free to take on a better job offer that came along shortly thereafter.  My friend knew that persisting in her situation was futile and a losing strategy.  She won and got a much better paying job because she knew when to quit.

BOTTOMLINE

I’m not saying we should always quit to win.  I’m just saying we have to be very careful stereotyping people who quit as losers and stubborn people as winners.  It might rub off on us and cause us to stay around longer than we should in situations that are obviously not working out well and miss out on jumping on opportunities for success for fear of being labeled as “losers”.  Quitting in dead end situations is wise and staying and persisting in “dips” or temporarily challenging situations that have potential for great success is wise too.  The key really is to know which is a dead end and which is a dip.

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Photo: “I HOPE THIS DOESN’T MEAN THERE ARE NO MIRACLES LEFT…” by JOPHIELsmiles, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.

Written by Excel Dyquiangco as originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles

The emotions and attitude of people sometimes get affected by the weather. When it’s bright and sunny, our spirits are lifted. On the other hand, when it’s dark and gloomy, as it is usually during the rainy season, feelings of sadness and negativity often creep in. This condition is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a depression that is connected with the changing seasons. In some worse cases, SAD, when not treated properly, could even lead to suicidal thoughts and death.

So what to do to overcome loneliness that can lead to SAD and depression?

Try light therapy. When it is dark and cloudy outside and there’s no hint of sunlight, create some light using Light Therapy Boxes.  This kind of lighting is brighter than regular light bulbs and produces light in different wave lengths. Staying around the light boxes for thirty minutes can help can suppress your melatonin, a hormone that controls our moods. Change your bulbs to “full spectrum” bulbs” that imitate the full effects of sunlight.

Use a dawn stimulator. Dawn stimulators are regular alarms clocks. But instead of beeping or other noises, they produce a light that slowly increases in intensity, simulating the rays of the sun. There are different varieties of dawn stimulators. Choose one with a full-spectrum light because its lighting effect is close to natural sunlight.

Follow a workout routine. Working out daily even for just 30 minutes releases a “happy” hormone that recharges and makes us upbeat the entire day. The effects of a good workout are long-lasting and will benefit your metabolism and over-all health.

Go out into the sun. When the sun is out, make the most of it and take your early morning walk or run. The warmth of the morning sun can bring our energy back and revitalize your mood.

Have a regular schedule. People with SAD often have trouble sleeping and waking up in the morning. To counteract this effect, follow a regular schedule or routine to regulate your body clock which can help you sleep.

Keep your home bright and cheerful. Put in a few lights and lamps inside your to make it bright and radiant. Having ample indoor lightning can bring them out of the gloomy-weather doldrums, including, depression and SAD.

Treat yourself. There are days when the rains seem endless – and some days when it’s just a drizzle. Whether the rain lasts for hours or days, make sure you still treat yourself. Spend quality time with family and friends. Play board games. Indulge in a movie marathon and watch all your favourite shows.

Relax. Relax by reading a good book or listening to soft music. You can also contemplate and pray. Do everything that would make you calm.

Be sociable. Make sure to connect with your friends. Meet up for coffee or an afternoon of catching up. If you can’t meet them physically, stay in touch with them online through your social media networks.

Visit a doctor. SAD is not to be taken lightly and should be addressed by a health professional if needed. If you feel like you need to see a doctor who can help you deal with your condition, go ahead.

Problems are inevitable.

Some problems can be anticipated. Some are surprises. The idea that problems occur now and then need not be a surprise.

If there is one thing different between my husband and myself, it’s the way we look at our problems. Most of us rant now and then.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Why is God not listening to me?”

“How come this had to happen?”

I guess he needs more time reacting to the fact that there is a problem than solving the problem.

Maybe it’s his coping process and I am there to balance it. Whenever he is in that frustrated state, my mind starts ticking about possible solutions.

The good news is that for every problem, there is a solution. Sometimes,

1. The solution is immediate;
2. It takes a while to discover;
3. The solution involves letting go.
4. The problem is ours to solve,sometimes it isn’t;
5. There is something we can clearly do to solve the problem yet other times we need to struggle, stumble, do our part , then trust God for help.
6. The problem is just part of life.
7. The problem is important because we are learning something through the problem and the solution.
8. The problem end up working out for good in our life.

Sometimes, problems just are; sometimes they are a warning sign that we could be on the wrong track.

I have learned to accept problems as inevitable part of my life. I’ve learned to find trust my ability to solve problems. I’ve also identified problems that try to lead us in a new direction and which simply ask for solving. I learned to trust solutions rather than be victimized by problems.

We can actually learn to focus on the solution rather than on the problem and maintain a positive attitude towards life and the inevitable flow of problems and solutions.

And guess what? After my husband is done with his litany of rants, his next question is always:

“What do we do now?”

My answer: Let’s come up with solutions.