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May 2007

Me time, Nurturing Myself

Once upon my early motherhood days, I often deprived myself of nurturing because I found it silly and self-indulgent. Of course, I didn’t know that nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent. Years later , after a million mistakes with myself and family members, I found out that nurturing is about how we show love for ourselves. I needed a loving relationship with myself that works so I can have a loving relationship with others that work.

I am not where I am today if I didn’t learn to nurture myself. I wouldn’t have a second wind in my marriage if I didn’t have a loving relationship with myself first. How do I nurture myself?

1. When I am hurt, I ask myself what I need to help myself feel better.

2. When I feel alone, I reach out to someone safe like my sister, my best friend. Without feeling that I am a burden, I allow my sister to be there for me.

3. I rest when I’m tired, eat when I’m famished, have fun when my spirits need a lift.

4. I give myself gifts… a trip to my favorite beauty salon, a massage at the spa, a new gadget, a new dress.

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Get Out and Vote

vote“Get Out and Vote” is probably the first sentence I learned as a toddler. Posters of “Get out and Vote” in yellow and white colors were plastered all over our house. My dad used to lead the Citizen’s Quick Count in Cebu, the equivalent of today’s civilian quick count. I lost count of the names. Is it NAMFREL? Though dad was not involved in politics, the civic duty of citizen’s tabulation rested on his sharp mathematical skills.

I tagged along with my dad to those quick count centers. The numbers tallied on the board excited me. Strange thing. I probably grew to love numbers because of my father. I can add a long list of numbers without the use of calculators because the latter just slows the tabulation.

Memories on election day remind me so much of my dad that’s why I wrote it today.

My entry is Get Out and Vote yet I can’t vote. Not because I don’t want to vote. I stupidly forgot to re-register. Still in denial, I checked my name at the online COMELEC Precint finder. And what do you know?

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Gossip

Is gossip good or bad? If I tell my daughters that gossiping is bad, am I right? If psychologists inform me that gossip is inevitable and extremely beneficial, are they right as well? Yes, there is good and bad gossip and we need to distinguish the two.

As psychologist James Lynch puts it: “Human dialogue can be a great healer or a great destroyer.”

In my opinion, there should be two separate words to connote spreading information in the absence of those about whom we speak. “Gossip” should be reserved for the negative transmission of stories that aim at maligning one’s character, integrity, behavior and essence. “Godspeak” could serve as the term used for dispensing positive, admiring, loving and positive information about others.

The benefits of gossip is beneficial for creating a healthy connection, building social norms for acceptable and unacceptable behavior and improving society.

Just recently, I was told about a person’s moral integrity. Without giving sordid details, I was shocked that the gossippee (the gossip victim) is capable of such an immoral act. Shaking my head, I believed the gossippee might have their side of the story. I was in for another shock. True enough, I had the chance to talk to the “gossippee” and their version was the total opposite of the “gossipper”. Confusing? It breaks my heart because I know both of them and they are wonderful people. I don’t know whom to believe. Such an accusation is total defamation to the character of both the “gossipper” and the “gossippee”.

Did the “gossipper” intend to harm the “gossippee”? If harm is the intention, this is a most despicable behavior that is never justified. If the gossip is true, I believed the gossipper’s intention was to create boundaries in friendships. But still….Gossiping about another for motives of diminishing him or her in order to build up themselves or to judge the person hurts friendships in the end.

That last gossip encounter made me realize that if people can gossip about other people in front of me, then I could be the next gossip victim.

All I could tell the gossip victim was to just live their life in a healthy manner and to prove that the “gossip” was a misunderstanding. It got me thinking too ” why didn’t the gossiper resolve the issue directly to that person?” Direct , clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for good feelings about ourselves and our relationship with others.

I resolved that I will resist and place boundaries when I am faced with another gossip.

Here are some tips I read to deal with gossip better:

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Bloggers at a Media Event, the Wagyu Beef Fest

wagyu beef fest

From Media? , the staff of Amor Maclang asked.

No, I’m a blogger as I wrote down my name on the registration sheet of the Wagyu Beef Fest at the Diamond Hotel during lunch today.

Handing me my name tag with the media label underneath my name seemed strange. Shouldn’t it be “new media”? Then I began to question my arrival at the hotel. What am I doing here in an media event where I will be amongst traditional media people?

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Misteryosa No More

misteryosa mFor those who have been reading my blog for the longest time now, I refer to my second daughter as M. I think I have mentioned before how M is such a private person, opting to keep a private blog for her close friends. She used to own two domains during her high school years. Her blog had amazing and original graphics. In fact , she churned out new designs every week. Quite a prolific web designer. I begged her to design customized headers for my blog and even willing to pay for it. I remember teaching her Adobe Photoshop basics when she was a pre-teen and she became quite adept at it, more than I could ever be.

It mystified me why she suddenly chose to have a private blog. And then out of the blue, the mystery is over.

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Wedding Anniversary Gifts

wedding anniversaryI wished I had bought something new or had my hair done at the salon for our anniversary dinner. Come to think of it, does my husband really care? I don’t think so. Apparently he can’t even tell if I’ve don a new hairstyle or bought a new dress. I can walk past by him with a new dress and he wouldn’t blink an eye. It didn’t matter really because I was bent on celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary with a simple dinner with the girls. It turns out that our day contained a lot of little gifts which I call blessings.

1. The gift of new beginnnings
We finally got the title of our new home on our anniversary day. How symbolic! Yes, the perfect anniversary gift to ourselves. The transfer of the title to our names took forever thanks to corrupt Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) officers and other city hall employees who expected grease money to facilitate the papers. Despite the greed and corruption of the government employees , our hearts are filled with gratitute that after going through 6 months of condominium and house hunting and acquiring a housing loan, we finally got the love nest we dreamed of. A new life in our new home. We are open to all the exciting possibilities for change both within and around us.

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Breakfast in Bed

breakfast trayRubbing my eyes, I thought I saw him hold a breakfast tray . He says “it’s my wedding anniversary gift for you, dear” as he plants a kiss on my forehead. I smile and thought “My husband is so sweet , romantic and thoughtful”. Then he lays the tray on my lap.

“thank you dear. that’s really so sweet. Wait. I need to take a photo for posterity”

I eagerly wait…for the coffee.

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My husband and Grocery Shopping

husbandI think I have mentioned before that my husband is my co-homemaker . For the past two years, he took over my role in grocery shopping. It’s really sweet of him to shop for me. I don’t mind it one bit because I don’t enjoy grocery shopping. Prices of the goods are quite depressing. I just buy whatever is on the list then leave the supermaket in 45 minutes. One thing has been bugging me the past months. I’ve never understood why it takes my husband more than two hours to shop.

Last sunday, I tagged along with him just to observe his system of shopping. Ah now I understand. If I had studied Butch under my time and motion study, he’d definitely fail .
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Thursday Thirteen: The 80/20 Rule


Thirteen Things about 80-20% rule

This 80/20 rule is more formally known as the Pareto principle, named after it’s founder the Italian economist. Pareto observed that 80 percent of the income in Italy was received by 20% of the people. For [tag]thursday thirteen[/tag], I will list down how the 80-20% rule applies to me, my work and my life.

1. 20% of my clothes in the closet are barely worn.

2. 80% of my sales come from referrals from 20% of my existing customers.

3. 80% of my blog’s google adsense income are derived from 20% of popular keywords (i.e. sex education, losing weight, SM Mall of Asia)

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