What exactly is the mommy look? Is there a fashion style for forty-something moms who have college kids? Often my girls tell me “but please don’t dress too young. You’re a mommy”. Then they also adviced me, “No mommy jeans look” as I shopped for new jeans. These kids can’t make up their mind. Should I not be “too style-ey” or dumpy looking? Then my husband goes “Nothing too revealing”. I can’t be too stylish, too sexy or too dumpy. Maybe they meant middle-of-the-road wasteland of clothing that’s “practical” yet “stylish”. The unsolicited advice is well taken of course, but I choose to shop for clothes that I like anyway. Based on this blog quiz, What’s Your Fashion Style?, I am girly.
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Your Fashion Style is Girly |
 You dress to look beautiful and show off what you’ve got Dresses, skirts, heels… whatever it takes to turn heads You love feeling like a girl in any setting Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine! |
I like girly or feminine things but I don’t think I am kikay. What a word. If I were still a teen, I ‘d like to be groovy but I’d be in the dark ages if I still use that word. True, I dress to make myself look and feel good with certain limitations of course. I don’t wear plunging necklines in public places except in family parties. Pretty earrings and necklace has always been my thing even when I was single. So when that fashion trend was revived, I quickly added that to my collection.
If you noticed, I sport a new haircut (see here) . The hazards of driving the girls to their favorite hairstylist brought this transformation. The girls protested when I said it’s my turn to have a haircut. I warned the hairstylist “The girls don’t want me to sport a trendy look so cut it in a way that I will still look like a mommy”. Really, fashion style will never erase the fact that I am still a mother. I think the girls were used to my boring look during their childhood days. Things have changed now. Their daddy is getting more attractive to ahem , younger women as he gets older and wiser. Mommy has to continue to look good for herself and their daddy.
Shopping with my daughters is always an opportunity to bond with them. Stress and worry from schoolwork sometimes makes it difficult for them to really talk to us. When I ask how they are , a usual reply is “okay lang”. I sometimes wonder if that means they are ok or they don’t feel like talking about it yet. When I notice a little downtime, I treat them to shopping or a rejuvenating spa. I suggest “Do you want to go shopping or need a massage?” More often than not, the sparkle in their eyes show that they appreciate this gesture. So this is what I told L . “Since you have no classes on Thursdays, maybe we can shop in Divisoria” . 
One unusual trait with L is her frugal nature. As a daughter, she is 
Isn’t it silly that a mother is practically telling her daughter to splurge a little more on clothes? 
The crowd at 9:00 AM was hampering our movements especially in the first floor. I bought two handbags and I could barely walk down the crowded aisles. Moving around was difficult. L bought a dress worth 250 pesos , a pair of shoes worth 200 pesos and a few belts and accessories. After buying my gym outfits, I discovered I could not continue shopping . (TIP: bring an assistant to help you carry the load) . We carried shopping bags that we could barely hold on to.
For the past 3 days, I have been taking it easy by minimizing my online time. I even took a one day leave. See , last Monday after working for two hours on the internet, a hairlike strand just appeared in my field of vision. It felt like I had hair in my eyes which refused to go away. Oh no, I panicked. Am I getting blind? I am aware that diabetics like me are prone to diabetic retinopathy. Everyone with diabetes will develop diabetic retinopathy. Regular eye exams when first diagnosed with diabetes, and then at least every two years, will reduce the risk of vision loss and blindness. I couldn’t believe this was it. The start of my blindness. But I protested silently. I just had an 
Sunday is supposed to be family day. But both girls were engrossed with their school activities. Lauren as Associate Editor of 
It’s past 1:00 PM and we’re hungry but we couldn’t wait to go home for lunch. At the “Pasto Cafe”, our light lunch consisted of a vegetali panini and the spicy Arriabata pasta . Watching my husband’s smiling face, I can’t help being happy for him. At least he’s learned to let go of rigidity . Learning to be spontaneous and fun takes practice. It’s something we forgot after grieving for years. I know this will be another difficult week as our 
Friday and saturday were stressful days for us. Butch and I commemorated our 
The massage invigorated our bodies but we didn’t have enough time for a milk bath. The tub looked inviting. Maybe some other time, right? We sipped mint tea and just sat together to enjoy the ambience. I always make it a point to have couple time every week whether we’re stressed out or not. It’s not cheap but that’s the price we pay for love.
Sports should have been one of the children’s activities. Yes, there were swimming classes but no volleyball, soccer, softball or basketball. Sure, L kicked her way to Kung fu lessons while M took rock climbing and fencing during the summer. I think the reason I didn’t encourage contact sports was because I was also brought up that way. All of the siblings studied piano lessons and my mother didn’t want our delicate hands to be injured. So in the same manner, I also discouraged my girls to take up sports that had the highest risk of injury to their hands. “Sports is the only thing that we lacked.” Not that my kids are ungrateful. They appreciate me for the arts and crafts, ballet , piano, voice, theater and the light sports lessons. It’s just their bodies needed more physicial exertion.
Oh well , mommy is not perfect and besides they can always start something on their own like badminton or tennis. It’s never too late. The only consolation I can offer at the moment is membership at the fitness gym. Team spirit may not be present during the exercises but bonding with their mother and the other members can be just as rewarding.
I told my daughter , Lauren ” Did you know that [tag]belly dance[/tag] was taught by mothers to their daughters for easy childbirths?” She raised an eyebrow. I added, “At least you’re learning it now while still single“. Lauren rolled her eyes. She decided to tag along with me last week for belly dancing . Ahh, we had so much fun. After the belly dance session, she went to the “Girl Shoppe” at Market! Market! and bought me red hip scarves with coins while she got the purple for herself. This morning was our second session. The second time around is so much easier . Belly dancing reminds me a bit of the “hula” or “hawaiian dance” which was the craze for pre-teens in the late sixties. I know how to sashay my hips like a graceful hula dancer. But belly dance is different. 
If I narrate the whole story on how I fractured my leg, perhaps “
I seriously thought I would die. Being diabetic and with a heart condition, the operation was delayed until I was cleared for operation. Around 8 screws were nailed into my ankle and tibia. It felt so much better although I was still in pain. Do you know how hard it is walk with one foot? I wasn’t allowed to put weight on the right foot for 6 weeks. I had to learn how to use the crutches before leaving the hospital. We bought a wheelchair and built some ramps around the house. Taking a bath involved 2 monobloc chairs: one for my casted foot and the other for me to sit and bathe myself. Fortunately , my husband is the type of person who knows how to take care of the sick. He doted on me like a sick baby, not complaining if I had to wake him in the dead of the night to get the bedpan.