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08May 2016

Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have even lived a more simple and meagre life than the poor.” Henry David Thoreau

To my dear daughters,

It is Mother’s day today and as you might know, I celebrate it everyday with you even if you are all grown up. Today, I just want to write about the rewards of the simple life.

Let me tell you that about finding ” the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter” to be thrilled by the stars at nights… some of the rewards of the simple life.” Let me tell you about our trip to Batanes.

I could not help but prance around the sloping hills of Racuh-a-Payaman , twirling around and singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music”. Remember how we used to sing that song in the car as we travelled the long and winding road towards Baguio?

Yes, Baguio has a special place in our hearts because it is home to your dad. I could not help singing with the wind as it kept throwing my sun hat away to protect me. I felt the wind was telling me to let go of my fear of the sun’s heat and just feel the cool breeze. I did listen to the sound of the wind as it cools my face during lunch. Want to hear the pounding of the wind that afternoon?

My friends who were with me say it reminded them of the Irish landscape. One felt like crying with the majestic beauty. Another thought “I see God before me”. I was speechless. I thought the picture pretty hills was reminiscent of the English countryside without the Friesian cows and the sheeps grazing the pastures.

I sat down on the grass to get my bearings and just be awed. But your dad wouldn’t allow me to just sit down. You know how I fear heights …but your dad held my hand and said “you are going to regret this”. He dragged me literally to see more than just rolling green hills.

He led me to the tip of the hill where the blueness of the sea kissed the sky. Ever since he learned to use the camera , he kept taking photos of Batanes.

I cannot begin to describe Batanes . Your dad in our article of Batanes “Enhancing the ecological and cultural tourism in Batanes” says:

Despite our preconceptions about the allure of the place, we were still floored by the actual experience of being there. A clear light seems to suffuse the entire province , real life in HD. The drama of the juxtaposition of the landscape and seascape left us gushing and groping for words. We have literally never seen any place like it, although we have done a fair amount of traveling here and abroad

I am not as eloquent as your dad so let me just show you some of the photos he took of me. You know how I am when it comes to photos.

Let me take you to the rugged terrain of Chawa cliffs.

The hedgerows which serves as source of reeds for roofing, protection from soil erosion and firewood. Hedge rows are also proof of the centuries-old practice of Ivatans on appropriate farming technology.

The fishing port in Diura.

The rolling hills in Vayang.

I took this of your dad as he stood beside the Mt. Carmel Chapel that sits in between two bodies of water, the West Philippine Sea and the Pacific Ocean.

The sound of the roaring waves of the West Philippine sea from Batanes Resort where we were billeted

This is the video I took of the resort:

Rock formations in Alapad Hills, the scene of the movie of Hihintayin Kita sa Langit (I Will Wait for You in Heaven) with Richard Gomez and Dawn Zulueta

I took a video while waiting for your dad as he ventured to the steeper side of Alapad.

The super moon that peeked out just before sunset at the Basco Lighthouse

The Ivatan art inspired by the beauty of Batanes.

But more than the majestic beauty of Batanes are the people themselves. You might find beautiful beaches, picturesque mountains, hills and hedgerows in other countries but Batanes is more than a pretty scene.

What makes Batanes endearing to me is the attitude and culture of the Ivatans, the natives of Batanes.

Ivatans are hardy and resilient, attuned to the vagaries of a temperamental climate. They have a strong sense of community. Neighbors look out for each other and every person is either an auntie, uncle or cousin. Bartering is still prevalent. The often-idealized concept of ““bayanihan” is actually alive and well in Batanes.

The pervading culture of Batanes “dictates that it is a privilege to help and be helped, and almost an insult to receive payment.” Isn’t that something to emulate and pass on to our children?

This Honesty Cafe store was started by Aling Elena Gabilo, a retired Math teacher for 40 years. She wanted to provide refreshments to the locals and travelers in the area. Anybody who enters the cafe can get food and drinks and drop whatever payment they feel like in a basket.

Aling Elena does not mind if the customers don’t pay or not. Her ultimate profit is the chance “to awaken her customers’ consciousness to honesty and responsibility and to teach them to live these lessons in the other areas of their lives.”

There is much to learn from the day-to-day experiences and resiliency of the people of Batanes. Life is about helping others and sharing their lives with one another. Rose Belmonte says it best about life in Batanes.

“Life that is lived fully will lead us to knowing who we are and becoming what we are made to be. Giving starts with one person. It starts with one home. One woman prepares food with love. One man takes pride in his labor. One traveler pays the right amount. One child learns to share. A neighbor gives unconditional assistance. Everybody does the same. And we get blessed with a community called Batan in an island simply known as Batanes.”

As your dad and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary in Batanes, I am convinced there is a certain majesty in simplicity. I realized that it is much better to insist on the genuine forms of nature, for simplicity is the greatest adornment of art.

As Richard Holloway says. ““Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.”

I hope we can travel together to Batanes and explore it more. Most of all, I hope you can see how simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

Love,
Mom (and dad)

03Feb 2016

Photos of our family reunion, the past 20 years

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

We were once a family of seven siblings. With the death of my mom in 1976, my brother in 1990, another brother in 1999 and my father in 2003, only five siblings are left. Four sisters and one brother. Three of them are now living outside the Philippines while my younger sister lives in Manila. Before 2010, reunions centered upon the burying of the dead or visiting a dying family member. The pain of losing yet another family member was just difficult to take photos of ourselves. The sisters had more time to be together compared to my brother who was still in medical school. We did try to make the best of these rare times by doing something together.

Taken in 1972 by Robles Studio. Our one and only formal family picture.

It started in 1996. My sisters went home for a visit but had only less than two days. Hmm, why not a photo shoot to make use of our time? We trooped to Headshots in Robinsons’ Galleria. The studio had its own makeup artist. With four sisters, it took us nearly a day to finish. All of us were in our forties, with me being the heaviest of the sisters. We had this brilliant idea to document ourselves every six to eight years.

1996 photo shoot by Headshots (in our 30’s)

The next photo shoot was in 2004, a year after our beloved dad passed away after a long illness. We are now in our forties. Headshots studio moved to Greenhills Shopping Center. As you can see, I am still overweight , eight years after our first photo shoot in 1996. Once again, we visited a beauty salon to glamorize ourselves.

2004 photo by Headshots (in our 40s)

In 2010, all of us decided to meet up up in San Francisco in support of Myrna, running for a council seat in a city in California. What better time to reunite during happier times. This time, our brother joined us. For our sibling reunion, we did our own make-up and hair and trooped to Sears Studio in Concord. Alicia, our photographer, was so good with us. This is just one of the shots she took. This time around, I lost 40 pounds.

2010 Photo by Sears studio in CA. Three girls in their 50s except for the youngest

2010 Photo by Sears studio in Concord, CA. Three girls in their 50s except for the youngest

This is the first formal shot we have as five siblings. Alicia commented that, perhaps, the four sisters had tormented David in his childhood — and all the sisters replied, “It was David torturing us!” Hahaha!

2010 photo by Sears studio. Our brother , David joined us for the first time.

Reunions are never planned. It just so happened there was a wedding in the family, the first in the family. It was a reason to come home. Oh my, I will never forget this day. After the wedding reception, we frolicked in the garden as our photographer encouraged us to do some whacky poses.

2016 photo by Widengrens Creative Media . We are now all in our 50s.

We are having a blast! All of us are in our fifties , grinning like our dad . I know my dad lives in each one of us because of our wide smiles which we got from him.

Yes, our next photo shoot will be when most of us are in our 60s. Maybe in Cebu, our hometown.

2016 Photo by Widengrens Creative Media. We are now all in our 50s.

It doesn’t seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we’ve traveled…we are still the same. Even though our parents and two brothers are not with us, I am sure they are laughing along with us everytime we are together, laughing and just having fun.

Watch the Photo slideshow:

16Jan 2016

Throwback: Sinulog 1985, the pamanhikan and memories of my dad

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 5 Comments

How in love we both were ( and still are). Sinulog 1985 holds precious memories as that was the day Butch asked my dad for my hand in marriage. On that day, the two loves of my life finally got to talk for the first time. In all the 7 years that Butch and I were steadies, Dad never spoke a single word to Butch except “hi and bye”. That day, I finally asked Dad why he treated Butch that way . Dad’s two lame explanations were that he didn’t want Butch to be too familiar and secondly , he didn’t know how to talk to the boyfriend of his daughter. Oh well, that was cleared up that fateful Sinulog eve.

My then fiancee, now my husband of 30 years. Taken on the stage of Sinulog 1985 celebration

Born in Cebu, the Sinulog Festival was alien to me until I went home to Cebu on January 1985 for my “pamanhikan” (engagement). My dear father, was the overall organizer for the 1985 Sinulog Festivities. Sure I have seen old women dancing in front of the Santo Niño at the Basilica. You gave them money to dance and ask blessings from the Sto. Nino. In the Sinulog version, the dance moves two steps forward and one step backward to the sound of the drums.

Sinulog 2012

As Sinulog nears, I remember my dad. After all, he suffered a stroke while promoting the Sinulog in California. In 2007, I did a search for the origins of Sinulog, no word is mentioned of my dad, Jose P Lardizabal. One thing I have learned about my dad’s illness is that you know your friends at your worst times. One by one, dad’s friends forgot about him. Due to dad’s incoherent speech, he was often ignored and humiliated. I can’t blame them for the distance. There are a handful of friends who stayed behind who had compassion over a sick man. Inspite of his disability, my dad is a great man who lived a new life without his speech faculties. In my little corner of cyberspace, I want to remember dad.

Back in 2007, and with the help of my sister, Lorna who assisted dad during the Sinulog, I was able to piece something about dad’s last Sinulog as the overall organizer.

Dad was the chair for the Board of Judges committee — to judge the higantes and floats, starting 1981. I helped him find the judges and investigate their reputation and credibility. It is possible that the 1985 festival was the largest since it started but I do recall that even 1981 had already elbow-to-elbow crowds. I cannot remember the numbers. All I truly remember is that the 1985 model was a great organizational model.

The Sinulog Festival that started in 1980 was a modestly-managed event. David “Boy” Odilao had started this project as a competition among school-based dance troupes. 16-year old Shelley Ann Roper from Connecticut, USA, the Rotary Exchange student hosted by the Rotary Club of Cebu-West (and who was living with us in our Lahug home) who was a member of the Southwestern Dance Troupe, was acknowledged as the first American to dance in this first official celebration that had commercial appeal. Shelley certainly stood out : blonde hair, fair skin, dancing barefooted in Sinulog attire.(read more of Lorna’s comments below)

My sister graciously scanned the Sinulog 1985 souvenir program (see below). Sinulog 1985 as my dad predicted was the longest and most colorful Sinulog celebration in Cebu City since it started in 1981.

It was a pleasant surprise that my dad received a posthumous award in ” grateful acknowledgment of his being one of the original incorporators of the Sinulog Foundation and of his wisdom and unwavering support in the institutionalization of the Sinulog Festival.”

A 2010 posthumous award given to my dad, Joe P. Lardizabal, who was one of the original Sinulog Foundation’s board members (board of trustees). To the left is Ricky Ballesteros, Executive Director of the ExecCom, Sinulog 2016, and to the right is one of the original volunteers since 1981, Dolores Suzara, project director (festival director) of the Sinulog Foundation, Inc. My sister, Lorna Lardizabal-Dietz, received the award in behalf of my family

Ricky Ballesteros, Executive Director of the ExecCom, Sinulog 2016, informed my sister that he told the committee that these original board members (and other unsung heroes among the volunteers) needed to be recognized because if it wasn’t for their start-up efforts, resources, and sacrifices, the Sinulog Festival wouldn’t be what it is today.

Dad must be smiling .

Sinulog 1985 holds precious memories as that was the day Butch asked my dad for my hand in marriage. On that day, the two loves of my life finally got to talk for the first time. The glitters, the dances, the fancy trimmings and the pageantry are only expressions of how important Santo Niño is but for me Sinulog is a day filled with treasures of love .

Sinulog 1985 Cebu Souvenir Program, From Lorna Lardizabal Dietz’s Archives by Lorna Dietz

08Jan 2016

Here are some ways to combat post-holiday blues

by webs ⋅ Leave a Comment

by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco as originally posted at “Beat the post-holiday blues”,Here are some ways to combat post-holiday blues Philippine Online Chronicles

The holidays are over … it’s time to face reality. All the presents under the tree have been opened; holiday photos have been uploaded; no more gorging on delicious food except for a few leftovers; and no more Christmas get-togethers and parties to attend.

Students are back in school, employees have returned to work and business people have resumed operations.

It’s not a surprise that some people feel down after the holidays. Leaving all the merry activities behind to go back to the daily grind is not exactly a jump-for-joy mental picture.

Are you still longing for those cheerful and carefree days of socializing, shopping, gift giving, traveling, feasting, and spending time with people close to you? No matter how great a holiday is, there is always an end. Cherish those happy moments but don’t let them prevent you from returning to your usual routine. The more you mope about it, the more susceptible you are to stress. You don’t want to start the brand new year with negative feelings. Here are some ways to combat post-holiday blues.

Stay connected with people dear to you. Christmas season is an opportunity to spend quality time with people who mean most to you. When the holidays are over, don’t let distance or busy schedules hinder you from holding on to the bond that you renewed during the Christmas break.

Take advantage of today’s modern technology to stay connected. Keep in touch through phone calls, text messages and emails.

You don’t have to wait until Christmas to have another get together especially if you live in the same or nearby cities. Set up a quarterly get together or if possible, do it more frequently.

Start eating well again. Feeling sluggish? All those parties and potluck dinners may have taken their toll on your body. During the holidays, you may have been guilty of over indulging in fatty foods and sweet desserts. It’s time to bounce back after the holiday food coma.

Skipping meals and going on a drastic diet are not solutions. In fact, they may do more harm than good. The best game plan is to think of your next healthy meal and work your way up from there.

Avoid fatty and salty foods. Eat more vegetables and fruits. Say no to junk food and soda. Make sure that you choose lean meat and take it easy on the sauces and gravies. You don’t have to deprive yourself of dessert but lessen it.

Get back in shape. Have you suddenly noticed that your old pair of jeans doesn’t feel as comfortable as before? Do you have to struggle to button it on? Well, don’t be surprised if you gained weight after all that holiday binging. You’re not alone. A lot of people have weight issues after a long holiday.

Instead of regretting eating all that delicious food, why not begin the year with a new exercise routine or simply resume your daily fitness activities? Put on your walking shoes again, do yoga, hit the gym, or sway to the music and follow the moves of your Zumba instructor. You’re free to choose your form of exercise.

You probably have some holiday leftovers inside the refrigerator. Don’t waste all the effort of exercising by binging again. You often hear the line, “drink moderately”. If you want to lose that holiday weight, why not apply the saying to food as well?

Better yet, ask a friend to exercise with you. Plan a work out that you can do together. You can encourage one another to exercise as often as you can to get back to shape.

Give yourself time to ease back to your usual routine. Reality can be a little harsh after a period of relaxation and fun. When traveling, it is best to give yourself time to settle back when you arrive home. The body and mind need time and space to return to normal routine especially if it means resuming a hectic work schedule.

If you arrive at night and you are expected to report to work the next morning, your mind and body might find it hard to adjust within a short period. Give yourself at least one full day of rest before going back to work or facing chores.

You can also pamper yourself by getting a massage or having your nails done to ease the transition.

Cope with jet lag. Traveling overseas is fun and exciting but jet lag can be a bummer. Jet lag is a possible reason behind your post-holiday blues. Some symptoms include feeling sleepy during daytime, difficulty sleeping at night, lack of coordination, and loss of appetite.

A good way to deal with jet lag is by helping your body adjust to the local schedule. Medicine.net suggests that if you arrive at noon local time (but it’s early in the morning where you came from), resist the urge of having breakfast and proceed with lunch. Get a lot of sunshine during the day by going outdoors. According to experts, sunlight signals the hypothalamus to lower down the “production of sleep-inducing melatonin during the day,” which launches the course of resetting your internal clock. It is also advisable to do the same with children and infants. When traveling east, you lose time so try to keep the child awake until local bedtime. On the other hand, if you are traveling west, you gain time, so wake your child at the local time.

Listen to soothing music. Huffington Post suggests that music is capable of stimulating the senses and lifting your spirits. According to a neuroscientist named Daniel J. Levitin, “music enhances certain pathways in the brain that are essential to cognitive and emotional health.”

The de-stressing benefit of music reduces prevalence of stress and burnout. Listening to soothing tunes can become a simple wellness activity.

Dwell on the positive. It feels good to relive happy memories of your holiday. Focus on the positive by doing something creative such as starting a journal. It’s a brand new year and it’s a perfect opportunity to start one. You can also write thank you notes to people who made your holiday special. If you are artistically inclined, consider sketching or painting a favorite scene during your holiday as a keepsake worth cherishing.

Photo c/o Pixabay. Public domain.
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Rachel Yapchiongco, also known as Rach to her friends, is a Psychology and Marketing Management graduate of De La Salle University. Rachel is a mom to a charming boy and married to an entrepreneur who has a passion for cooking. She shares parenting experiences and slices of everyday life on her personal blog called Heart of Rachel.

29Dec 2015

Media Noche: Let’s try something different on New Year’s eve.

by webs ⋅ Leave a Comment

Let’s try something different on New Year’s eve.

Written by Jose Francisco Cruz as originally posted Media noche, the Filipino, and the six-course meal via the Philippine Online Chronicles.

After over-indulging on Christmas noche buena with with lechon, ham, lengua, mechado, embutido and other festive dishes that can trigger convulsions of the most pleasurable kind, let’s try something different on New Year’s eve.

What I have in mind is a six course meal prepared with the least effort but still ending up as something memorable and will win raves.

What is a six-course meal? It is a meal with six phases. Think of a slightly complex song, or a novel, or the stages of pregnancy while riding the MRT.

First comes the appetizers o,r commonly, the piece of bread with pate or whatever it is that you’d like to put on it for a spread, that’s not overly sweet. Then the salad, leafy green salad, with dressing. Then the soup, followed by two main courses. The last would be dessert, of course– ice cream, hot cocoa or cake.

First off, even before the appetizers, serve lots and lots of wine. Classic red wine, and chardonnay.

For salad, you ought to have some nuts with the veggies. Imported nuts are nice, but I’d rather use kasuy or the classic adobong mani. Then some yoghurt. I go with flavored yoghurt, and to complement the flavor of that youghurt, we put in (but not too much) an apple, or some strawberries. The reason for this is to counter the bitterness of the herbs we will include, like basil, or if you’re using some blue cheese (better to use Parmigiano-Regiano, or what they call Parmesan, but keso de bola will do nicely, or any crumbly kind of cheese). Let’s not forget the bitterness of the French dressing.

The French dressing, according to Chef Jamie, is three parts olive oil and one part acid, which could be lemon, or blueberry juice, or vinega. Add some Dijon mustard, shake well, and you have the French dressing. I added applesauce into the salad dressing to temper the bitterness.

Use coconut meat graters, or vegetable skin peelers to play with the cucumbers and carrots, so they come out in thin, wide strips, and not the usual O shapes. Operative word: Spatial. Of course, lots of lettuce, and some parsley. Use a lampin cloth for ‘centrifuging’ out the water from the vegetables. Then drizzle the dressing. Add some crunchy bacon bits too.

A Filipino version of a vegetable salad could be the seaweed in vinegar (replacing the vinaigrette in salads), and tomato slices of Cebu.

The Spanish like filleted fresh anchovies, fried for a few minutes; but a more Filipino approach would be fresh anchovies cooked in vinegar with chopped garlic, ginger, and onions – or what we call kilawin. And since we’re discussing the Spanish, how about sinangkutsang (stir-fried) prawns for tapas, eh? Just check if the prawns are fresh, with the eyes spherical, and the heads firmly attached, and you won’t be shamed. Did I mention to pour some wine? Ok. Good.

Stir-frying prawns takes about five minutes. Frying filleted anchovies, five minutes as well. You can buy them at the grocer’s, pre-prepared..

The soup. If I were to cook a soup that would be worthy of the New Year, it would be bulalo. It is beef shank, with the marrow oozing out like food for the gods.

Use plain white Chinaware. They go well with the Christmas season, as well as provide contrast to any color dish that you will put in front of your guests.
Remember, be generous with the wine.

Beef takes a while to cook, upwards of two hours to boil the meat to tenderness, but you can fire up the stove before preparing the appetizers and salad.

Now we go to the main course. It could be any two of these: fish, chicken, pork, or beef. We are after quick meals here, so the best way to go about it would be grilling.

For milkfish, slice onions, garlic, tomatoes, and place them inside the bangus milkfish belly as filling. Stitch that up, or just cover with tinfoil, candy style. Grill in scorching hot embers for 15 minutes, approximately, and you’re done. You could also roast salmon in the oven with some olive oil, lemon juice, salt in 15 minutes. Serve with some parsley.

The pork also can be set aside overnight in a marinade of soy sauce, vinegar, a bit of salt, pepper, a bit of soda, and garlic. The grilling will be from 8-15 minutes. This can even be done by the guests, just assist them so they don’t burn the outside, with the inside still uncooked. Use a toothpick to check if meat from the inside still clings to it. That means it’s not yet cooked. This tip goes for roasting as well. Serve scorching hot, and don’t forget the wine.

Grilling of meats is usually done in 15 minutes.

The chicken can be roasted. Most would use whole chickens and stuffing and hurling them into the oven. That would take too long. Use instead drumsticks with hips attached, one for every guest. You can cook these in half the time it takes a whole chicken to roast. The plus is everybody will have an equal area of crunchy chicken skin. Yum!

Throw in some small potatoes, with the skin on, a few garlic cloves, and halved onions.

Cooking temp. Unfortunately, temperature, yes, even temperature is relative. What will be 1.5 hours at 200 degrees Celsius for me, might be quicker for you. I guess it has to do with the type of oven. The newer ones tend to be of a size not unlike microwave ovens. I got a cool tip from Rachel Allen. She roasts the chicken for half of the time it takes to cook, and only then does she add the rub, with a little bit of olive oil. This way, you don’t burn the rub, and you baste the chicken as well. The rub can be salt + pepper + ginger + thyme. For beef, add rosemary. If you’ve got fresh herbs, the better. Premium groceries have fresh herbs from Tagaytay.

Gravy. The stuff of legend. The secrets of which many would be willing to kill for. Yummy magazine delivers in their gravy recipe. About two tablespoons of drippings (olive oil used in the roasting plus the meat oil, and garlic and onions), you heat in a saucepan, then dissolve a bit of flour in water, and pour that bit by bit onto the saucepan with the drippings, whisking as you do so. A bit of salt and pepper, and voila! Gravy pa lang, ulam na! We love gravy.

The beef can be roasted, as well as the pork. But it takes too long, at 200 degrees Celsius. The pork belly can be turned into lechon, but for the skin to turn into crackling, you’d either have to turn on the flame on top of the oven (for grilling) for an hour, or shock it with boiling cooking oil after cooking.

With the beef, there’s a very thin line between undercooking or overcooking it to the consistency of freightliner-wheel interior rubber. If you’re insistent, use foil for two hours while roasting pork or beef. All the action happens in the last hour after you remove the foil. Just be on your toes.

I would much rather go with frying T-bone steaks. Season with salt and pepper. Put in two tablespoons of cooking oil before the butter, so the butter doesn’t burn. One-inch thick steaks can be cooked in 3-5 minutes. This will be like fried prawns. When the color turns from red to brown, and the blood has oozed out, then it’s cooked. Two inches and above in thickness, and do as the chefs say – 7 minutes in a flat pan without oil, turning over after every minute.

For dessert, mango float, and other no-bake cakes will do nicely, saving you more time. Muffins, after preparation, take only 35 minutes to bake. The banana muffins are classics. The same goes for cookies. Rhum bundt cake takes an hour to prepare, and 45 minutes to bake.

Bibingka, puto-bumbong, and other rice cakes you can easily procure near the Catholic churches.

What if you have balikbayans hankering for Pinoy dishes? The tip here is to stick as close to the original Filipino recipe as possible if you plan on serving everyday dishes for your Media Noche. Watch cooking shows, and you will notice that the chefs are able to cook sumptuous dishes very quickly because they keep things simple.

So how much time does it take for a six-course Medyo Noche?

Shopping time – 1 hour, preferably in the morning

French green salad – 1 hour
Stir-fried prawns – 5 minutes
Bulalo soup – 2 hours

Main course options
Grilled milkfish, large – 15 minutes prep; 15 minutes grilling
Pork barbecue – 12 hours marinating (the longer the better), 15 mins grilling
Roast chicken thighs – 1.5 hours
Pan-grilled T-bone steak – 10 minutes

Banana muffins – prep 45 minutes, baking 35 minutes
Hot tablea cocoa – 30 minutes

Thus, a total of about 8 hours, 6 if you skip the roast chicken.

This, to me, is a delicious way to start the year right.

Photo from: www.lakadpilipinas.com

25Nov 2015

The gifts we give, and what they can mean

by webs ⋅ Leave a Comment

The act of gift giving is seen as an integral part of the Christmas season. However, while we think that giving gifts is just a simple affair, we should also take into account what we give, and what it says about us, the gift givers. More often than not, the context and the gift are intertwined, making a simple gift very touching, or an expensive gift mean nothing at all.

So, what are the different kinds of gifts, and what do they say?

The practical gift

The practical gift is, pardon the term, practically the easiest gift to get for a loved one. All you have to do is keep your eyes and ears open for your loved ones’ complaints, and then figure out what they need – be it that double-size coffee mug for more wake-up juice in the morning, or a nice necktie for the rare occasions that they need to be formal.

However, the problem with practical gifts is that they don’t require much thought, if you think about it. It’s all about a person’s stated or obvious needs. On one end, depending on the gift, it can be seen as being observant of what a person needs in everyday life, but on the other end of the spectrum, it can also mean that it’s the “lazy” gift, particularly if it becomes a habit – like a dad’s perennial pair of socks.

The wistful

Some gifts have, as the saying goes, a hugot factor, a thing that makes it have a meaning that can be taken many ways. It can be a simple wallet that is the person’s old favorite brand, or it can be as lavish as a set of earrings that remind one of the prom where a couple first met. The wistful gift is an invitation to nostalgia – but beware, because it is nostalgic.

Should the times change, or if the reminder is seen in a different light, it can lead to hurt feelings, or soul-searching that can change the direction of relationships for the worse. After all, when you give a gift that is meant to evoke something else, you have to be sure that the evocation will be as the other person will see or feel it, rather than your own take on things.

The whimsical
The whimsical gift is that which has no meaning other than to make the person happy upon the receipt of the gift. It is about as honest and as shallow (if taken the wrong way) as the season will allow. Novelty pranks like a mini-toilet that sprays water, or a drumming monkey doll are just some of the examples of whimsical gifts.

These gifts are not bad per se. After all, they may be the perfect gifts for people who don’t look for anything, or already have everything (subjectively speaking). However, the big issue with whimsical gifts is that they can either be seen as thoughtless (throwaway gifts), or they can be seen as letdowns, if the person was expecting a more meaningful one. After all, not all people will understand or appreciate the moment of giving.

The overblown

Now, gifts that qualify for “overblown” are those that are meant to impress not only the recipient, but others as well. It’s a gift that is perfect for those who like gifts that can impress others with their importance and value, regardless of actual cost (more to the point, regardless of cost in the sense that it’s probably expensive, too).

Overblown gifts are very much appreciated, but it can also mean that there is a strange relationship between the giver and the receiver – namely, that there is a needy, tit-for-tat relationship involved. Before you give a gift guaranteed to impress everyone aside from the receiver, you should think about why you’re giving that gift to the person – and why other people have to be impressed.

The suggestive

Some gifts are meant to be hints for something else. The classic examples, of course, would be nice clothes, underwear, deodorant, soaps, and even combs. Let’s face it; if you want to send a “gentle” signal to someone to improve himself or herself in some way, then a Christmas gift that “nudges” them in that direction is the right way to do it.

This would work, of course, except that in many cases, if it weren’t for the spirit of the season, there would have been a lot of harsh words and arguments already. A “suggestive” gift is about as subtle as a hammer, and it’s made worse by the fact that, well, the family is there – opening gifts is a public social thing.

So what gift do you give?
Gift giving has always been symbolic, and that’s been the strength and weakness of the whole process. The reason for this is that people tend to want to find meaning in the giving of the gift itself, when in fact, it is all about making the person happy – or at least, it should be.

When giving gifts to another, you should always be careful about giving something that might have a meaning in it – indeed, the best gifts are those that are simply what the receiver will like. Yes, you do have to take into account who you are in the person’s life, and what you budget is. But even more important, giving a gift is a process – one where you think, really think about the person and who he or she is. Your gift shouldn’t be overshadowed by the meanings between you and that person. At the purest, a gift should be about the person, and what makes the person happy. It can be as simple as a thank you letter, or it could be as “non-traditional” as a trip outside the city, or a fine dinner at the person’s favorite restaurant. Whatever the case may be, the true gift is the one that has the least symbolic meaning beyond being a gift – an offering of happiness, thankfulness, and faithfulness from one person to another.

Your gift may never be that “pure” in meaning, but if you can make your special someone smile without that person thinking of anything aside from being thankful for the gift and being happy for the season (in all its meanings), then you’ve done well.

Keep on giving!

Photos (from Flickr.com):
– “Gifts? Already”, Kasia
– “A gift”, Kristina Alexanderson
– “Wrapped Gifts Retirement Party 7-8-09 8”, Steven Depolo

Written by Richard Leo Ramos, as originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles.

14Jun 2015

I will celebrate me.

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Today I turned 58 years old. I indulged in the joy of celebrating my 58 years. I am proud of where I am and what I am today so I am not iffy about revealing my age. Never mind if certain people will box me , based on my age. Nine years ago, when I first started this blog, I was just heading towards the resolution of my grief journey. Recovery is about knowing I have choices and giving myself the freedom to choose. I chose to enjoy the rest of my life despite the deaths in my family. It meant learning that love lives forever in my heart, which death cannot take away.

I like looking back to what I wrote back then. Here is an affirmation that I took from my recovery notes:

For too long, I have been hard on myself. Others have spilled their negative energy on me. I know it had nothing to do with me. I am a gift to myself and to the Universe . I am a child of God. I do not have to try harder , be better, be perfect , or be anything I am not. My beauty lies in me just as I am each moment. I will celebrate that.

I will take time to pause, reflect and rejoice my accomplishments. For too long, I have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what I have done lest I will fall into the arrogance trap. Celebration is a high form of praise of gratitude to God. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Today, I will also celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth of friends and family. I will continue to enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to me. I will celebrate all that is in my life and all that is good.

I will celebrate me.

I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

09May 2015

For the Moms: Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can.

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 6 Comments

My Mother, Salustiana Veloso-Lardizabal
1931-1976Blessed are the moms whose mothers are still with them. At least they can still say “I love you” or make amends with each other. My mom died at the age of 45 years old after a three year battle with breast cancer. I was only a teen-ager and I never got to tell her “I love you” or even showed her how much I cared before she died. I wish I did. I felt alienated towards my mom because she was so strict and angry, 90% of the time. Sometimes , she would yell with little provocation. It often puzzled me that I once asked my grandmother (her mother) about her bad temper. My grandmother only said that maybe she is strict because she is the eldest in the family.

I never understood my mother until I was 39 years old , the night before my breast surgery. My three children were less than 10 years old in 1996 and I was scared about dying and leaving them so soon. Then I recalled the pain my mother went through during her three year cancer battle and the tears just streamed down my cheeks. I released my hurt feelings and whispered as if she was right there in front of me . I told her I understood now. I forgave her for the things she said or did not say and vice versa . The peace in my heart was overwhelming. I felt God’s presence in the room and prayed that I be given more time to be with my children and see them grow up.

The following day, my surgery revealed benign results.

If at one point, you never understood your mom, just know that she loved you in the only way she knew. If she knew better, then maybe she would have turned her life around. It isn’t good to carry a heavy burden of ill feelings throughout your life especially if you are a mom because it may affect your parenting style. (That’s another story for another day)

Here is something that was shared to me and it speaks for all the mothers . Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s okay honey, Mommy’s here.”

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can’t be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.

And all the mothers who DON’T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars. And that when their kids asked, “Did you see me,Mom?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.

And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn’t find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then read it again. “Just one more time.”

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home — or even away at college – or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation… And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us…

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can.

Tell them every day that we love them.

And pray and never stop being a mom.

Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.

“Home is what catches you when you fall – and we all fall.”

14Feb 2015

To love and to be loved by you, our child,…an honor and so blest.

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 8 Comments

It was sometime January 2004 as I was wheeled through the Operating room of the Philippine Heart Center for an angiogram procedure. Three doctors told me that my heart had blocked arteries and I will need an angioplasty. Two diagnostic tests revealed the necessity for an angioplasty. At that time, all I could think of was the expense, something like 500,000 pesos ($10,000). As I hovered between sleepy state and consciousness , I remember thinking that it was alright to die. I would soon be rejoined by my son. No big deal. As I lay there on the operating table, my cardiac surgeon motioned me to watch the procedure on the TV screen. The sight of my beating heart made me queasy . A few minutes later, the surgeon announced “There is no blockage”

I sought for my sister, a doctor who watched the procedure. She confirmed that I didn’t need angioplasty.

I found out that I had a “spastic heart” which didn’t require an angioplasty. My grief during the past 4 years took a toll on my heart.

In the recovery room over 11 years ago, I mulled over the death of my son . Life did go on even if my heart was broken. I didn’t know how physically broken it was. Our heart is fragile even if the heart muscles are strong. It goes on beating even during the darkest hours . When devastation made its mark , it felt like my heart would never know joy again. The diagnosis awakened something in me. God had given me another chance in life, perhaps to help others or continue to give love to others. One thing I knew for certain, that day marked my road towards a healthier grief journey. I discovered that the heart mends itself, but not like before. There is a scar in my heart which will always remain there. There is a tender spot inside where once the gap was wide. It is healing.

I am grateful that my heart is healing . I am grateful to be alive to give love and receive love.

Happy Love Day to all.
—–

My precious Valentine’s Day Memory. Though death has taken you away from me, my son, my love for you will never die. Love never dies.

“To love and to be loved by you, our child,…an honor and so blest,
Our time on earth cut short, it’s true … But We Sealed It With a Kiss.”

31Dec 2014

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.”

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Happy New year. Tonight, it will only be the noise of my “torotot” and the 2007 video of this firecracker explosion from our neighbors. I remember how the explosion deafened me for a few minutes . It was the worst explosion I witnessed. I could only take a minute video. Listen to it.

Tonight, I will pray for the victims of Seniang. So many deaths and loss to property. While everyone was in a holiday mode, parts of Visayas and Mindanao experienced flashfloods, landslides that were unexpected. I know 2015 seems bleak while we experience this heartbreaking yearender. I continue to hope that the Philippines will recover from this. I hope that more Filipinos are discerning towards choosing their leaders.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” says Albert Einstein. Let’s also remember Mother Teresa when she said “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

I expect good things for myself and my loved ones despite the Seniang storm late this year.

1. When I wonder what is coming, I tell myself the best is coming, the very best in life and love have to offer, the best God will send and claim it as mine.

2. I see the best in my mind and envision what it will look like and feel like.

3. After I have envisioned the good things, I let it go and come back to the present moment. I will not obsess. I become excited.

Today, as the year ends, I am full of gratitude for all that I received this year. Good and bad.

I will wait and expect good things for 2015.

To all my readers, I hope that when you think about the year ahead, you will focus on the good that is coming.

New is the year, new are the hopes, new is the resolution, new are the spirits, and new are my warm wishes just for you. Have a promising and fulfilling New Year. Happy New Year!