Knowing about two couples breaking up the past month brought me back to a similar breakup 30 years ago. My own breakup story.

I was twenty five years old, at the peak of my career while my twenty-two year old boyfriend ( who is incidentally my husband) was just a Freshman in Law school. Being together for almost six years at that time, I thought it was really us , together and forever. I had been hinting the past months that I wanted to get married one day. Yes , hinting or did I sound like “hey let’s get married or else”.

me and butch 1985

I must have been more in love with Butch than he was in love with me. Head over heels in love. He was after all , very handsome, rugged, funny and smart. On January 1984, he declared he wanted to break up with me because it has always been me, me and me. He wanted to be a free man. As he started blurting the dreaded break-up words , all I could think of was “oh no, he found another girl more beautiful than me”. Pride didn’t want me to ask that question. I calmly took in his words and we parted.

I had written my thoughts in my diary a month after:

breaking up

“I miss Butch…it’s been a month since we broke off…how can I learn to forget him? how…tell me how my dear God? I’m hurting all over…nothing is work working anymore…I don’t know where I should go. All my dreams were meant for Butch…now, I have to start all over again. I’m hoping we’ll talk on February 14. If by then, he’s not around, it’s over and I should brace myself and be strong. Meanwhile I ‘ll just cry a little and miss…miss…miss him and hurt….hurt…hurt…It will take time but I can be strong. I just need some strength to weather this emotional crisis. It’ll be better.”

He didn’t show up on Valentine’s day and I knew it was over. I had written a letter in my diary but I think it was more to release the pain in my heart.

Dear Butch,

Happy Valentine’s day! It’s a day for celebrating love. ALthough we may be apart for good, I just want you to know that I love you….

And I kept crushing out so many words in that unsent letter. I had not only lost a boyfriend but a best friend. Heartbroken, I’d write his name over and over again in my diary like a crazy idiot.

diary

I decided to be busy that summer. Nursing a broken heart starts with taking care of your body. I jogged around the Oval of the UP Diliman campus every afternoon and at night , my officemates and I swam at the nearby pool. It felt good to be energized and pushing the limits of my stamina. My waist line shrunk to 23 inches that I had to replenish my closet with a new wardrobe. I felt like saying to Butch “Look at what you missed”. My boss often asked me Anong nangyari sa school bus mo? (“what happened to your school bus?” ) , referring to Butch who often picked me up from work. I shrugged, giving him an indifferent smirk but inside I was crying. It hurts.

broken heart 2

The important lesson I learned that summer was taking care of myself . I allowed myself a couple of days and even weeks to mope around and cry, just feeling sorry for myself. There came a time to start snapping out of it. I learned that the most important person is ME and not my ex. I believe it is really important to love ourselves first. To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves.

The breakup was a good excuses for a fresh start. It was fun giving myself a makeover, and indulging into sports. It gave me a sense of fulfilment and a big burst of confidence. Time really heals all wounds. The pain I felt that February , a month after the breakup didn’t last forever, even if it felt like it will.

Just when I was getting over my broken heart, Butch came back into my life six months after the breakup. I spotted a dozen roses by the door partly covering his handsome face. I felt my heart bursting and my face flushing.

My boss was yelling,Yari na ang school bus ( “THE SCHOOL BUS IS FIXED!”)

To those in similar breakup stories , I am not saying it will lead to a happy ending. It did lead to a better me.

Just hang in there – it’ll get easier. I promise.

me and butch

Updated: I posted this 7 years ago and thought of bringing it back in the light of Erap’s recent campaign bid for Mayor of Manila.

Enjoy!

April 12, 2006: With the start of Joseph Estrada’s plunder trial , the Erap jokes are back again in circulation:

Jinggoy: dad, kita madadalaw ngayon. May urine test ako bukas. ( Dad, I can’t visit you today. I have a urine test tomorrow)
Erap: Okay lang anak, aral kang mabuti ha. (that’s okay, son. Just study well.)

Erap might have been accused of many things but he left behind a legacy, “the Erap jokes”. My son adored Erap simply because of his famous Erap jokes. He found them funny and wanted to know more Erap jokes. We even bought the Erap joke book. Here is one of Luijoe’s favorite Erap jokes.

Erap buys a ballpen:

Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpens
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?

Luijoe loved to tell this joke to everyone . One time, Luijoe and I passed by Penshoppe ( a teen fashion store) in Glorietta mall and I teased him if he wanted to go inside with me , so I could ask the same question Erap asked.

Luijoe was shocked at my suggestion…”NO, MOM!” He pulled me away towards the play area.

Hehe. My son must have thought I was crazier than Erap.

———–
More Erap Jokes:

Jinggoy: Dad, manganganak na po misis ko. (Dad my wife is about to give birth)
Erap: Dali tumawag ka ng ambulansya at dalhin natin sa Jollibee (Hurry, call for an ambulance and bring her to Jollibee)
Jingoy: dad bakit po sa Jollibbe (dad, why at Jollibee?)
Erap: May free delivery doon (There is free delivery over there)

—-

US Doctor: Mr. President, you have a brain tumor.
Erap: hahahahaha
US Doctor: Why are you laughing?
Erap: I’m laughing because in the Philippines I have no brain but here, I have 2 more!

—-

Erap gets really mad when he sees the next sign :”JFK LEFT”. “See?” he scolds his driver. “We’re so late even the airport left already”.

Updated April 3, 2013– I am reposting this since Alan is running again for senator (Check Senator Alan Cayetano’s profile and platform here). In May 2007, I wanted to write about Alan just before election day but I felt uncomfortable writing about politics in 2007. I only became active in citizen media during the latter part of 2009. My question back then was “is there a way to write about politics without selling your soul?” I found out that it is alright to disclose any affiliations with a politician or a political party.

It is on this note that my affiliation with the Cayetano family started when my husband, Alan’s father Rene Cayetano among other lawyers were partners of a law firm in 1998. The CASElaw firm still exists today but my husband is now just a name partner.

This is the Alan Cayetano I know…
Read More →

luijoe-cross

The Holy Week holds a special meaning in my heart as it’s during this time that my precious son talked about eternal life. How would I have known that he was preparing himself for his death?

When I die, I will be alive again“,
Luijoe (with excitement), a month before he became an angel.

A month or so before Luijoe went to heaven, he asked me questions about angels, death, heaven and graves. I don’t exactly remember when Luijoe started to ask me those things.

luijoe-at-luijoe-meadow1

This is what I wrote two weeks after Luijoe died.

Read More →

Gingerbread ManOnce upon a Christmas season, a mother baked Gingerbread Men cookies to the delight of her three children who eagerly waited for the cookies to bake. The waft of molasses, cinnamon and spices excited them. “We’re hungry, mom!”. The mother told them to be patient and promised to read them the Story of the Gingerbread Man as soon as the cookies were baked.

She got three cookies and laid them on a platter.

“Can we eat the Gingerbread Man now?” The children tugged at their mom’s apron.

“Let’s read the Gingerbread Man story first so you know the legend…” the mother said and left the platter of cookies on the table. The three children and the mother huddled around the Christmas tree as she began to read…

Once upon a time a little old woman and a little old man lived in a cottage………
The little old woman and little old man were very hungry and wanted to eat the gingerbread man. As soon as he was cooked, the little old woman opened the oven door. The gingerbread man jumped out of the tin and ran out of the open window shouting, ‘Don’t eat me!’……..

The mother continued on until the end where the fox ate the Gingerbread Man.

“Did you like the story?”

“It’s sad that the fox ate the Gingerbread Man in the end. Can we now eat the Gingerbread Man Cookies? We’re not like the sly fox.” The children discussed among themselves.

“Sure…get your cookies on the plate.”

The three children turned to the platter…”Mom, look… the Gingerbread Man jumped out of the plate. He’s gone. ”

The mom looked surprised “Maybe he ran away… Let’s look for the Gingerbread Man”

The three children looked all over the house until each of them found their Gingerbread Man hidden in their toy chest.

The kids beamed with laughter “Silly Gingerbread Man. The fox will eat you anyway. Don’t run away now.”

And so this mother carried this tradition until the kids were older and wiser to know that the Gingerbread Man didn’t really ran away. By now you know I was that crazy mother. Hehe.

I instructed the kid’s yaya to hide it discreetly while I read the story to my three children.

For the past 20 or so years, I bake Gingerbread Man Cookies only because my crazy tale and the warm fuzzy feeling of christmas memories give my two older girls some comfort. The holidays are a wonderful time to fill my home with the aroma and fragrance of Christmas through baking Gingerbread Man and Christmas cookies. I ‘ve baked all sorts of Christmas goodies like Lemon Squares, Fruit Cake, Brandy Cake, Apple Pie, and other bar cookies but the demand of Gingerbread Man cookies are high on the list.

Though I don’t read the Gingerbread Man story anymore, I hang the cookies up on the garlands of our kitchen and dining area. The kids share the cookies to their close friends and they often say that they have never tasted a Gingerbread Man cookie.

Sure there are a few Gingerbread Man sold in other bakeshops. I bought the Gingerbread Man cookie in other bake shops but it tasted mostly of flour. Maybe because it’s not that easy to bake Gingerbread Man cookies . Our tropical climate makes the dough difficult to handle. Constant chilling is needed. Baking at the right temperature is tricky. If underbaked, the cookie crumbles easily. If overbaked, the cookie taste burnt and bitter. Still, I am sharing my Gingerbread Man Cookie recipe and the story for all to enjoy.

According to my girls, it’s the baking of the Gingerbread Man Cookies that evokes childhood memories of Christmas.

christmas village

The lighted Christmas Village caught the attention of my daughter’s friend as he entered our dining room a few Christmas-es ago I can’t remember now what Lauren told me but from what I recall her friend imagined that lilting Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling music playing in the background as we eat dinner and babble in our fake British accents. The way Lauren said Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling sounded so much like Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons”.

debut.jpg

Haha I was laughing out loud because it is sort of true. I don’t play classical music but baroque music, a big difference of which I will explain later on. And no, we don’t play baroque music on dinner time alone. I play it any time of the day and have been playing it since the kids were little. I even hired Bagting Hangin, a string and wind ensemble to play it during Lauren’s 18th Birthday Party.

Before I get any further, let me explain the display of the English Village set. The Christmas Village set reminds me of Stratford-upon-Avon, a town I visited many years ago in the UK. The town is a popular tourist destination owing to its status as birthplace and deathbed of the playwright and poet William Shakespeare. My walks in the breathtaking village is so memorable, the scenery is just picture pretty and forever imprinted in my memories. When I saw this village set offered for sale by a friend, I just knew I wanted it to be displayed in my dining room. The village set is not a pretentious display of shallowness and hypocrisy but rather a collection of memories of visits to similar cottages in Stratford-upon-Avon. The ancient church replica reminds me of that time I visited the Holy Trinity Church, a moment of calm away from the bustle of the town. Both the courtyard and the churchyard itself are breathtakingly beautiful. Okay so now you know why that Christmas Village sits there.

Now on to the Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling music with two reasons:

First, the objective was to calm Lauren’s nerves.

Lauren was a sickly child often getting ill with asthma attacks every month. With visits to the emergency room every month, I had to do my share in making her calm and relaxed to ensure a faster recovery. I gave her “Visualizations for Mind Calming” of which the objective of the exercise is to gain practice in visualizing while at the same time soothing the mind. Calm and peaceful scenes from nature were quite helpful in erasing worries and distractions. I often said it out in a soft voice to imagine walking in a park, or in the woods, sitting by the lake, a walk on a hill or mountain, countryside or any spot that I though had a particularly soothing quality. Together with this mind-calming techniques, I added baroque music (specifically in largo beat) to get into slowed down body mind/body rhythms and manageable breathing.

Why Baroque music and why the largo or slow tempo?

Researchers have found that certain music types ease the brainwaves into the relaxed ‘alpha state’ that is ideal for Superlearning. One form of this superlearning music is the adagio movements of many baroque composers.

The adagio movements are around 40 to 60 beats per minute. In many string concertos and other works, the adagio movements often encapsulate the quintessential thematic and emotional material. However it is their 40-60 beats per minute and slow rhythm that slow body and mind functions and allow an alpha state of mind. This enables one to excel in retention and recall of materials presented in 20 minute intervals. It is also great for relieving stress.

From Baroque Music for Contemplation

There is a huge difference between baroque and classical music. The baroque music composers are from the likes of J.S. Bach A. Corelli, G.F. Handel, G. Telemann and A. Vivaldi in the 1600 – 1760. The classical music is from the time period 1730 – 1820 and right after the Baroque period. So if you want to refer to that Mike Villar’s Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling, it’s actually called Baroque Music.

Secondly, playing baroque music was to enhance the creativity in my children.

As reported in Ostrander and Schrader’s Super Learning, research discovered that the ideal state for learning is when the brain is in a relaxed, but aware state. And when they say relaxed, they do not mean asleep, but relaxed, focused and aware. It is at this point the brainwaves run at about 8 to 12 cycles per seconds or hertz. This is called the alpha state. Alpha is simply a state when you are calm and relaxed, in a way similar to when you whistle a happy tune, or when you daydream.

Getting into the Alpha State can be achieved in a number of ways and most of us achieve it several times during most days. At this time the mind is clear, receptive to information, and rapidly making ‘connections’, realizations and joining up deep thoughts. Many an ‘AHA!’ moment comes when an individual is in “Alpha”.

Years ago when this research was beginning, scientists were startled to discover that a certain kind of music can put the brain into an accelerated-learning state. Listening to Baroque Music was the number one method of getting into “Alpha”. Again, the research shows that baroque music at 60 beats per minute causes your brain to produce more alpha [calmness] waves. This happens on both the left brain’s analytical hemisphere and right side’s creative spatial hemisphere. When both hemispheres are engaged, the brain is able receive more information. You can retrieve information quickly because the music acts as a carrier wave to long-term memory storage.

Not that I wanted my kids to be superlearners, I wanted them to be calm and relaxed and eager to learn to the best of their abilities. No one is too young or too old to enjoy relaxing baroque music. Let me show you a music list for baroque music. Mind you, it has to be the slow movements from Baroque instrumental music featuring string instruments that give the best results.

    Vivaldi, A.

  • Largo from “Winter” from the The Four Seasons
  • Largo from Concerto in D Major for Guitar and Strings
    From Baroque Guitar Concerti
  • Largo from Concerto in C Major for Mandolin, Strings and Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in D Minor for Viola D’ Amore, Strings and Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in F Major for Viola D’ Amore, Two Oboes, Bassoon, Tow Horns and Figured Bass
    From Vivaldi: Three Concertos for Viola D’Amore, Two Concertos for Mandolin
  • Largo from Flute Concerto No 4 in G Major
    Vivaldi: 6 Flute Concerti Opus 10
  • Bach, J.S.

  • Largo from Concerto in G Minor for Flute and Strings, BWV 1056 (2:53)
    Bach and Telemann Flute Concertos
  • Aria (or Sarabande) to The Goldberg Variations
  • Largo from Harpsichord Concerto in F Minor, BWV 1056
    Greatest Hits of 1720
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord, Philharmonic Virtuosi of New York Columbia Records
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord in G Minor, BWV 975
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord Concerto in C Major, BWV 976
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord Concerto in F Major
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi
  • Handel, G.F.

  • Largo from Concerto no. 1 in F (brass)
    from Music for the Royal Fireworks
  • Largo from Concerto No. 3 in D (brass)
    from Music for the Royal Fireworks
  • Largo from Concerto No. 1 in B-flat Major op. 3 (woodwinds and strings)
    Handel: Concerti Grossi op. 3
  • From Handel’s Twelve Concerti Grossi, Opus 6, any of the largo movements can be used
  • Corelli, A.

  • Sarabanda (Largo) from Concerto No. 7 in D Minor
    Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5

  • Preludio (largo) and Sarabanda (largo) from Concerto no. 8 in E Minor
    Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5
  • Preludio (largo) from Concerto no. 9 in A Major
    both from Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5
    From Corelli’s Twelve Concerti Cgrossi, Opus 6, any of the largo movements can be used.

    Telemanm, G.

  • Largo from Double Fantasia in G Major for Harpsichord
    Telemann: 6 Fantasias for Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in G Major for Viola and String Orchestra
    From Telemann

There you have it, Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling bringing you in “reverie” state of relaxation.

Good grief. What am I doing here?

If I were seated here, watching this event 12 years ago, I will not be able to recognize myself.

My grief , the loss of my son brought me to where I am today. A whole new world. A blogger that talks about ““Touched by an Angel” at her blog, the aboutmyrecovery.com . A blogger that talks of Blog Watch, a citizen media endeavor.

From a homemaker to a whole new world as a blogger, citizen media and as features editor of an alternative online magazine, the Philippine Online Chronicles, I often wonder…what would I have been doing if I did not move on towards a positive resolution of my grief? Never did I conceive that the shy old me would land on TV, newspaper, radio, magazine as a resource person for grief, then later in blogging then social media for the elections. Blogging brought me new friends, reconnected with old friendships, brought me to travel places. It taught me to be more confident.

Not a day passes when I do not think of my loved ones who have gone on. I often still wonder how my life would have turned out if they were still with me. When the going gets rough in social media, I remember that the pain of losing my son is worst.

I am reminded of my friend Cathy when she wrote about The good from the grief. Eleanor Roosevelt said as she reflected upon her transition from first lady to private citizen after her husband died: ““Every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before.

““If you can live through that, you can live through anything. You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Watch #whatrocksmysocks video

What rocks my socks is being a blogger and evolving to cover a larger goal- to advocate social change .

My new normal as a blogger served me well: my role as a bereaved mother is no longer the first way I define who I am, but it is ever-present in my life and cannot be separated from all that I am . . . for the rest of my life.

I realized that Luijoe’s death gave me courage even if it took me five years to realize it. Courage to let life go on, to give myself a chance that new and good things will happen to me that will add JOY to my life. I felt he wanted me to carry on the comfort to others.

Working with my advocacy is also my way of keeping Luijoe’s memory alive in the next couple of years. I also know that every time I comfort a bereaved parent or sibling, my actions are a living tribute to my child.

Thank you IMMAP for the opportunity to share my story.

Read RECAP: THE IMMAP OPEN MIC NIGHT 2 from Carlo Ople and check out more photos here.

Thank you Internet and Mobile Marketing Association of the Philippines (IMMAP), TV5 and The Peninsula Manila and others such as Yehey!, Wunderman, 1DMG, Leo Burnett & Arc Worldwide, LoudWhistle, Ripple 100, GoMotion, TV5, Peachtree SEO and eLearning Edge. Media partners: Adobo Magazine, Inquirer, and Rappler.com. Official beverage partner for the night: Casa Noble


#Whatrocksmysocks speakers aside from myself:

-Ivy Almario, Interior Designer
-Marthyn Cuan, CIO at Meralco
-Manny Osmena, Cebu’s top winemaker, Manny O
-Glenmarc Antonio, Famous cosplayer

Photo credits: Some photos from Jane Uymatiao, Jaypee David , Carlo Ople and Jules Mariano. Thanks a lot

Cebu, my hometown how I missed my birthplace, the city where I grew up till I left for Manila at the age of 17 years old to study at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

I spent seven days in Cebu with my two girls to celebrate the Sinulog 2012 festival. If I remember right, this has been the longest I have ever stayed in Cebu since my wedding in May 1985. It was also the last time I watched the Sinulog with my dad who was then the over-all organize.

Bitter-sweet memories filled me as I visited every spot of the city. Each old spot held a memory so dear to me. Visiting Cebu for the past years meant burying two siblings, a father and even my precious child. Starting 2009, I made it a point to visit Cebu just because I wanted to reunite with friends. The thing is I managed to stay only for two to three days, never long enough to get used to new places. Everything looks different. The streets, the signages and the buildings. I get to recognize a street whenever a “deja vu” feeling overcomes me. I fire up my google maps just to discover the street name or my exact location.

Home for this trip was Radisson Blu. Our ancestral home was sold years ago when we could no longer keep up with the maintenance. My daughter wanted to explore Cebu so I brought her to the Sto. Nino Church, the Magellan Cross, my dad’s old office at the vacant Gotiaco building , the La Nueva Supermarket, Colon street . It was at this point when I wanted to find out a Ngo Hiong House. I tweeted. To my delight @maxlimpag suggested a Ngohiong near University of San Carlos – Main Campus. Someone else suggested Doming’s Ngohiong inside Fairlane Village in Guadalupe.

Max Limpag, a well known writer and blogger based in Cebu also suggested I take a short heritage walk in Paria-an to demonstrate the viewing of information through QR code scanning of selected tourism spots in Cebu. Smart and MyCebu.ph placed special markers on tourism and heritage sites in selected areas. More markers coming soon. These markers contain a snippet of information about the site and a QR code that, when scanned, will open an article about the landmark.

Just recently, Max informed me that an automated system displays the markers on an interactive map. The system is automated and all QR-related articles in the MyCebu.ph contain embedded geographic information so that they can be automatically displayed on the map.

I was excited to try it. In all my years in Cebu, I have never been to the Pari-an district or stayed long enough to know it was Pari-an. I first came across Pari-an from a book about my Veloso lineage during my twenties. My mom belonged to the large Veloso clan while my dad was a migrant from the Quezon province in the early 50’s.

My girls are often proud to say they are half-Cebuanos. As a teen, I used to think Manileños were “mayabang”. After living in Manila for 38 years, I have come to the conclusion that indeed Manileños tend to be “mayabang” because the national language is based on Tagalog. Oh I see it often in twitter…”Let’s speak Tagalog” forgetting that most of us Pinoys speak Bisaya.

(I digress)

I met up with Max at the Cebu Heritage monument at Barangay Parian, which was where the wealthy and influential Chinese mestizos lived during the Spanish period. As I scanned the QR Code with my Samsung Galaxy note, a web address leads to an article about the Parian monument.

An excerpt of the site describes the origins:

Conceptualized by multi-awarded sculptor Eduardo Castrillo, the mammoth structure depicts significant moments in Cebu’s history beginning with that fateful fight of April 21, 1521 in the island of Mactan where native chieftain Lapu-Lapu killed Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan.

Devotion to the Señor Sto. Niño is one Cebuano trait depicted in the Heritage of Cebu Monument in Parian.
The monument also portrays as well the conversion of Rajah Humabon and his followers to Christianity, local revolution against Spanish rule, Cebuano veneration of Sto. Nino, and beatification of first Filipino saint Pedro Calungsod.

A few meters away from the Parian Monument is the old Parian Church , San Juan Bautista Parish Church, once Cebu’s most opulent church. Sadly, the church was destroyed for some reason. “It was torn down in the late 1870s during a conflict between the Pari-an community leader and a Spanish priest.”

Our next stop was the Yap-Sandiego Ancestral Home that “holds the distinction of being one of the oldest houses in the Philippines and possibly the oldest Chinese home outside of China.”

The house is lovely and quaint. Scanning the QR code brings you to the website, Yap-Sandiego ancestral home: Soul of old Cebu. “The house’s roof and walls are 95 percent original, according to Sandiego, making this edifice that he and his family continue to live in during weekends a little over 300 years old.”

Max told me about this mirror that “now adorns the second floor wall of the Sandiego ancestral home was used on several occasions by Negros native Pantaleon Villegas, better known as Leon Kilat, who led the revolution against the Spaniards in Cebu in 1898.”

Some of the things inside the home are not as old as the house. The current house owner, Val Sandiego “acquired ownership of the house in early 2000, did an expensive restoration work on the structure in 2003 and has since opened it and his antique collection to the public.”

I noticed that the owner seemed to put a lot of art work of their faces in most of the rooms.

I believe they are also the same Sandiego family that participated in Sinulog 2012 parade.

The house owner explains that ““in 1614, the church of Parian was built. Then after around 60 years later, the house was put up,” said Sandiego, who is a descendant of original owners Don Juan Yap and his wife Doña Maria Florido. The couple’s eldest daughter married Don Mariano Sandiego of Obando, Bulacan–who was then the cabeza de barangay (barangay chief during the Spanish colonial period) of Parian where the structure is located.”

And I never knew this house existed. Where were my History teachers?

The next stop was the Cebu Jesuit House just a few meters away. I later found out that a high school classmate used to live here in the early sixties.

Scanning the QR code leads you to 280 year old Jesuit House in Cebu.

Jaime Sy now owns the house with their Ho Tong Hardware within the compound. They bought it from the Alvarez family (owner of Montebello Villa Hotel) who had it since the late 19th century. Mr Sy ( to the left) is the architect in charge of the restoration. They had no idea at first that this was once owned by the Jesuits until one day, the owner read a library book in Ateneo.

Fr. William Repetti, S.J., a seismologist and archivist of the Jesuits, identified this old structure as the ““Jesuit House of 1730″ and pictures of his visit hang on its walls today. Repetti noted the existence of the house in his book published in 1936.

There is relief plaque bearing the date ““Año 1730” on the inside wall above the main house’s entrance door.

Sy believes the Jesuit house is even older than the Yap-Sandiego ancestral home because its second level, like the ground floor, is still made of coral stones.

A little bit of trivia from Mr. Sy. See that bed behind me? That is a Giatay bed. The word giatay (people who are condemned to eternal punishment) was derived from that bed which was originally crafted by a Chinese that sounded like “Gi Athai” . The word has since been associated with this bed and being sick.

Jaime Sy said he intends to preserve the Jesuit House, eventually transferring the bodega to another location.

Below the Jesuit House is the Sugbu gallery which is a must for those interested in Cebu history.

I am really glad Max took me to this short heritage tour along with my daughter. Now I know I can never forget Cebu. It is where my heart belongs. My two daughters even want to settle down in Cebu. In fact, one of my daughters booked another trip on April so she can travel with a friend.

There is still so much to discover about my roots. A tour guide can be quite helpful but sometimes the information get lost somewhere as one maybe too preoccupied with the sights and sounds. Scanning the QR codes is one way to retain that information. Kudos to Max Limpag for initiating this project. Max stressed that the project isn’t purely historical or heritage. ““Tourists can also get tips on how to get the most of their stay right at the tourist spot they are visiting.”

Thank you once again Max.

After I left the short heritage tour, my daughter and I hied off to the IT park. At first I was unable to recall what this place used to be. Then something rang inside my head “Lahug airport”. Oh I remember those days, my dad would bring me here just to romp around. I can’t recall now what we watched. Was it kite flying? I just remembered the wide space and just being with my siblings.

Now it is all buildings. Sad.

Next time, I visit Cebu, there will be more markers. There will be more things to discover about myself and the city that I grew up.

I am going home once again.

This Halloween post was posted originally on October 26 2006.

halloweenIt was my dear husband who reminded me to dress up the little girls into witches for Halloween. “Halloween?” I thought Halloween was only done in the Western countries. ” Yes you have to dress them up as witches”. As a little boy in the late sixties, he pranced around the neighborhood begging for candies and yelling “Trick or Treat” . According to him, the Halloween “Trick or Treat” originated in the Philippines in the sixties when the Americans living in the village started the tradition. In the early nineties, Halloween was not yet commercialized. The Trick or Treat was limited to Ayala Land villages, where most American expatriates lived. There were a few masks and simple decors in National Book store but that was it. No costumes. I had to be creative. I designed a witch costume with yellow piping and a dressmaker executed it. A balikbayan sister from San Francisco brought in the hat, the candy corn candies, the fangs gum for props.

2.jpgWe drove all the way to visit the kid’s grandparents in Alabang just for the spooky Halloween experience. As usual, the beaming stage mother dressed up her adorable girls as cute little witches. The Trick or Treat party at the club was fantastic. The kids were dressed in typical Halloween costumes like vampires, ghosts, witches, and devils or even pumpkins.The eerie decors added to the thrilling experience.

halloweenThe Trick or Treat adventure in this swanky Alabang village is something else. The houses compete with each other on the scariest theme. Most of these houses had tricks. In one house, the kids were terrified of the candle-lit pathway that led to a vampire rocking on the chair. Complete with spine-tingling music as you walk towards the vampire, it even freaked me out. Four year old M scurried as soon as she saw the ghoulish figure. For many years, the girls spent their Halloween with their grandparents in this Alabang village until Luijoe arrived in our lives.

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A woman is the full circle.
Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. ~ Diane Mariechild ~


Rica and I go back when we were little kids romping around the school grounds of St. Theresa’s College Cebu. I thought we graduated in the same high school. It dawned on me that we had not seen each other for the last forty years but I remember her so well. Childhood memories can be so vivid. My memory fails me now but I knew there was something we had shared together in the past.


Rica is somewhere to the left and I am somewhere to the right

Thanks to Facebook, Rica found me at about the time I made plans to visit my daughter in Melbourne. What a treat I had the other day. There were just so many things to catch up. Memories to unravel. Amidst the sights and sounds of Melbourne, our stories unfolded. True, our memories may fail us now but our hearts remember as we spent the day together.

A cruise along the Yarra river of Melbourne.

Seeing Melbourne’s development.

Catching sight of the penguins by the rock.

Having lunch by the South bank

Stop to smell the flowers

It is good to wake up and smell the flowers while listening to classical music.

The stroll to the Fitzroy gardens stirred a memory.

I turned to Rica “Weren’t we mediocre students?” We laughed together, remarking how silly we were for not studying hard enough.

There you go, we had something in common back when we were little kid but not today. Rica and I evolved from being mediocre to doing what we love best. Something in her life touched me which I will just keep to myself.

Her sculpture “Joyfully Onwards and Upwards” won first prize for the amateur division. Amazing! Rica reminded me “Amatuer”. Still, I would never be able to sculpt like that. I never knew she had artistic talents. It must have been a latent gift.

We talked about the symbolism of her sculpture. It reminds me of the struggle to pass the Reproductive Health bill. Women need to have choices. Rica believes that women can empower themselves to go outwardly and move up. Both of us believe that one has to honor and treating ourselves with respect so that we set the stage up for others to treat us with respect. The sculpture also reminds me of the lives and passion we have chosen. Rica, on paying forward by helping women get an education.

I too believe that women need to challenge themselves. Margaret Sanger once said “Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.” It can come in art, writing, advocacy, business or anything that she can be.

I asked if I could use the image of her sculpture so I could show to the world about the potential of women, that it is never too late to get out of mediocrity no matter the age or circumstance. I wanted to sit down at the hotel and write about my day with Rica.

But guess what? Rica got to me first. She painted this and entitled it “Noemi”. I am so honored.

She did this for me. I felt a tug in my heart. My heart can only sing praises she will never hear.

I wonder how she painted this. All I know is splatter paint. In her facebook note, she added this “piece will always remind me of your beautiful and lovely personality.. it connotes warmth and vibrance. I love your story and what you have done with your life.”

I don’t know who deserves the title of a “a very beautiful and warm person” . I know we all have that capacity.

Oh yes we can, “joyfully Onwards and Upwards”.

I love you Rica. Thank you for a wonderful day. Till we meet again.