““Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person”

kris-aquino-james-yap-separateIt must be hard being both public figures. Only Kris Aquino and James Yap know their situation. I cannot count the times I, too, gave up on our marriage. Butch never gave up even at the time I gave up on our marriage.

That’s how our married life is. bati, galit, bati, galit and probably will always be, hopefully more good days than bad. The reasons behind some of our spats are immaterial. I believe that more marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse is hurdled. Then, again coping mechanisms vary among couples.

I pray for all those in the same marital situation as Kris.

Below are the videos and the transcript of Kris Aquino’s interview on “The Buzz,” Sunday (June 27) where she disclosed that she has given up on her marriage to basketball star James Yap.


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You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. Michael Pritchard


Life is good. I am 53 years old today. I’ve never felt so great, so young and happy! I know the past had come and gone. I know I wasted parts of it. Once upon a time, life looked gloomy. The clouds always looked grey. The sun never shone. The birds never sang. The colors of the world was just black and white. I never knew there was life after a death of a precious child. I forgot how to smile. I guess in each one of us there resides some survival or coping mechanism… or perhaps I was just touched by my angel. We get touched at some point in our lives if we allow it to happen.

Like my age, I don’t mind if people ask my age. After all, age is an issue of mind over matter. “If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” said Mark Twain. I think it is a compliment when college friends tell me that I look so much better now than before. I can say that confidence played a role. Taking care of oneself is important. Love yourself first before you can love others.

Smiling is easy now even as I wake up with the sunlight streaming down my face and the birds chirping by the bay window. It is the smile that adds sparkle in my heart and the twinkle in my eyes. It is what makes me who I am today that I could not achieve in my youth.

I am out of words today yet grateful for all the blessings God has given me. I am thankful for the second blooming in life. Life at the age of 53 is indeed just the beginning of a new life that has opened before me.

To celebrate the smile and the laughter, here is a 10-second video.
Thank you Nuffnang for the lovely birthday birthday present (the LED billboard for this blog)

““You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching and love like it’s never going to hurt.”

dancing
I guess nobody is perfect. My husband is handsome, cute, romantic, passionate (hot-headed too), smart, crazy, weird…and that’s just some of the reasons I fell for him when he “drooled” all over me in 1978. When we were seated at the restaurant as the disco music played in the air, he’d sway his body left and right or shake his head. Wow, this guy can groove, I thought. When we were finally steadies, I brought him to “Birds of the Same Feather”, a small disco place in Timog ( it was Ozone a few years later). As I dragged him to the dance floor, he sort of stood there, with his left feet stuck on the floor. With a sheepish grin, he confessed ” I don’t dance, eh. ”

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He evoked in me a capacity for love I did not know I had. Those feelings did not die with him, nor will they, I pray, die with me.– Gordon Livingston

A tribute to Luijoe’s 10th angel year (May 27, 2000 – May 27, 2010)

Parents who have lost a child speak of the ““zero point”. Our lives are divided into the time before and the time after our children died. No event – no graduation, no marriage, no other death – so defines us. At one moment I was one person, then, suddenly, I was someone else. The task we face is to create with our new selves something that, in some measure redeems our suffering.

We see, always with longing, children who remind us of what our child was or would be now. (Gordon Livingston)
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lauren-and-meMy beautiful girl turned 24 years old, three days ago and I didn’t get to share it with you. I should have written about it but I was too preoccupied with my surgery the following day. Every time I go to the hospital, I always prepare a notebook that lists passwords and the location of important documents. You never know, right? I first discovered this round lump on my right shoulder when I was in Boracay. I was told it was lipoma but that it was deeply embedded on my muscle. Doctors said I can choose to wait for the operation but I didn’t want to prolong the date for fear the lipoma would grow bigger and encroach on my nerves thus causing me pain.
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silver-wedding-shots

And I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it’s me you need to show ….
How deep is your love?


Oh yes love, we celebrate love every way we can. Milestones are valued.

“How deep is your love?” by the Beegees hit the airwaves in 1977 but it was the song of the season when Butch and I became steadies on March 7, 1978. I played the music on our way to our photo shoot with the best wedding photographers, Mimi and Karl. It was just natural that we chose the UP campus (where we met) for our silver anniversary photo shoot and the celebration of our 32 years as a couple on March 7. Dragging my two girls to join us, the two hour photo shoot was sweet and poignant. I love my husband for being such a good sport knowing he poses stiffly for photos. That’s how love works, I guess.

As he wrapped his arms around me, I loved how the soft breeze cooled the scorching sun hitting us between the branches of the tree. I clutch on to my heart-shaped pendant where a photo of our beloved Luijoe is engraved. “Luijoe is with us, too…in our hearts”. We smile at each other. We are a complete family as we pose, laugh, twirl around and smile for the cameras.
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The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~Peter Devries

At the heart of this farm, there lies a gazebo and lovely patios where my husband I sat under the gentle canopies of stately mango trees, some of which are over 50 years old! We revel even more at the elegance of this veritable tree garden, teeming with a multitude of capiz drop lights and strategically placed spotlights that dramatically emphasize the features of mango trees.

Holding hands, we strolled the farm and stopped under a mango tree. I laid my head on his shoulder, “This is it”.

“Let’s celebrate our silver anniversary here”. My ever romantic husband pressed his lips at the back of my palm and agreed, of course. That was two years ago with a budget fit for semi-grand anniversary celebration. We had also moved in to our new cozy home near this farm.

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I enjoy puttering around the house , being a neat freak dictatorial mom or Mrs. Handyman. Butch enjoys strolling at the grocery or supermarket ensuring our cupboards are filled to the brim. The weekly grocery used to belong to my territory until four years ago. For some reason, grocery shopping is therapeutic for him. I just let him be because I don’t enjoy looking at high priced consumer goods.

While I ordered construction materials at the neighborhood hardware store, Butch is doing the groceries.

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He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith


Our Christmas day in a slideshow. Background music is “Christmas in Our Hearts” (Click here to download– 3.0 MB)- Jose Mari Chan , arranged by Carmina R. Cuya

Not all is calm. Such is life. Things do not happen as planned but it does mean that the Christmas spirit will be affected. Today, I found out that Christmas truly reigns in my heart for all time.

Christmas began in the heart of God. It is complete only when it reaches the heart of man. Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.

Despite the challenges, I honor Christmas in my heart. Never mind if the outside appeared chaotic.

I am gentle with myself and I take care of my tender heart.

The gift we give ourselves is a gift we give to our children what they would want for us: for us to find as much peace in whatever way that we possibly can. If I could give each of you a gift I would want to give you the gift of peace, as much peace as you can possibly find.

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