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Grief

Ely Buendia Rushed to Hospital, Eraserheads Reunion Cut Short


(Youtube Video of the Eraserheads Reunion Concert Grand Entrance by Karla Redor)

I don’t know why but I wasn’t surprised that the Erasehead Reunion was Cut short because Ely Buendia was rushed to the Hospital. Not that I wished the concert would turn out badly, but I was thinking of Ely’s physical and emotional state as the concert went along.

At around 8:00 PM, my husband and I passed by Two Serendra to check on the progress of the condo renovations. I wasn’t aware that the concert was right beside Two Serendra until tonight. Listening from the 5th floor of our condo, I could hear the countdown then much later, the Alapaap song being played. From that distance, the sounds didn’t seem too blasting. I felt relief not having to hear the thud-thud of the drums and the blaring amps. Loud music causes my heartbeat to race like crazy. The last concert I went to caused my heartbeat to go thump-thump for more than an hour.

I turned to my husband and thought out loud “How can Ely survive those blaring sounds?” “And how can he sing just days after his mom died?”

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QTV Sweet Life on A Child’s Grief


I declined to appear in the Sweet Life Episode on “Comforting the Bereaved” for Lorna Tolentino’s friends. My last TV appearances left me disillusioned with anything showbiz in it. Despite the tragic elements in my life, I cannot stand embellishments injected into my life story. The segment producer tapped me to be the resource person for “A Child’s Grief” and I hemmed and hawed. I then remembered that grief education is part of my mission in life so I agreed in the end.

The guests were two young women, widowed in their mid-twenties. The focus of the segment was comforting their bereaved children. I discussed some creative projects and self-care. Every now and then I had to butt in and correct some misconceptions on Grief Recovery. Lucy Torres is quite smart but I don’t know what to make of Wilma Doesnt, her co-host. At the end of the show, I handed my calling card to the two widows. Wilma looked at me backing off as if I had some communicable disease don’t give me a calling card in half-joking/serious tone. Well, I told her I didn’t plan on giving you anyway but she kept repeating it. What the??

Apparently, she found the show’s theme so heavy and depressing that she kept whining about it. To think I was there to educate them about Child’s grief.

Since my portion covered less than 6 minutes (they practically cut half of that segment and concentrated more on Lorna Tolentino’s grief), I want to add more details that were not really discussed and which parents and guardians of a bereaved child might find useful.

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RCBC Cabuyao Bank Robbery Victims and Their Families

(RCBC Updates / Last Rites on Victims below the Videos)

Butch first told me about the RCBC bank robbery as his company is somehow related to RCBC. In his entry on A Season of Violence and Death, my husband writes:

The killers’ calculus was simple and chilling: No witnesses, lesser chances of getting caught. And so they went about their grisly business, systematically slaughtering ten people, whose grim fate was sealed the moment the butchers stepped into the bank .

The brutality and utter disregard for human life is so unusual and disturbing that it was the topic that my friends and I talked about yesterday just before our support group meeting of the Compassionate Friends. A friend (who is a banker herself) knew the bank manager, the spouse of her officemate. I just find it eerie to hear the last few minutes of their life together. Horrified, we started to discuss the incongruity of it all:

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Angel Gabriel – Jose Gabriel Dela Rosa


Photo from gjaysworld.org

A reader sent me the link to GJay’s blog, which was started by his uncle Raffy dela Rosa. I thought at first Gjay (Jose Gabriel Dela Rosa) was injured and may have hope of recovery but…

It’s been a month since 7 year old Gjay passed away. The nature of his death was a freak vehicular accident in Pasadena, USA. Imagine this , a loving family arrives in the USA expecting to have fun during a summer vacation and a few hours after their arrival, this tragic accident happens to them…

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From Cradle to Cross: A Mother’s Joy and Pain

jesus_dies_on_cross

Every Good Friday was just like any other day for me. The streets are empty. Everything is still. At 3:00 PM, I’d bow my head in prayer and reflect on Jesus’ death. That is before the death of my son. I never knew what it felt to be the mother of Jesus, losing a son until of course, I lost my precious son 8 years ago. Even if Mother Mary knew that Jesus died to save us, she was just as inconsolable as any mother who lost a child. My son was “clinically dead” when I got to him and I did not see him suffer. Not that I am diminishing my own pain but I bet Mother Mary suffered one thousand times more than I did for every nail and insult given to her beloved son.

How does this pain feel? Imagine…

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Hope Inside the Box

I first met Bill on December 20, 2006 through his blog entries of Anne Sherina. His pain is all too familiar. For most bereaved parents I know, not being able to touch, to hold, to embrace our child is the most painful reality we have to face. The emptiness of our arms, the indescribable longing to have those arms filled again with our precious child, are almost more than we can bear.

An exchange of text messages, emails and instant messaging kept us in touch for the past year until a few days ago, a pleasant surprise through a scanned newspaper clipping awaited in my inbox.

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The Candle Lighting

At 7:00 PM, The Compassionate Friends held the 11th Worldwide Candle Lighting event at the Ateneo Loyola Schools.

meandbutchcandle.jpgOur Candle Lighting Service is done with love,
A tribute to our children who have gone on above.
We light our candles so others will know,
We remember our children and we still love them so.

We will continue to cherish our children so dear,
Through this service of remembrance we have every year.
We validate the high place of honor our children still claim,
As with acclamations of pride we honor their names.

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11th Worldwide Candle Lighting Event

candlelight A candle signifies life and light and so the burning of a candle brings light and life to the memory and to the hearts of the bereaved. It is not that a candle has any magical or mystical powers as it is not the candle itself that heals. The lighting of a small candle in the darkness somehow helps you to draw aside from the blaring distractions. It brings an err of calm and helps you focus on what is important at that time. Something very special happens when a large group lights candles. A feeling of unity and oneness occurs.

While candles burn in one time zone, they will be lit in the next as thousands of families around the world participate in a vigil tomorrow, on December 9 to honor their children and siblings. The annual Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting starts at 7 p.m.

New Zealand goes first.

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