Celebrate, remember, and fight back

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This is a touching speech of my sister, the Vice Mayor of a city in the US about life and survival of cancer . The speech was delivered during a fund raising event for Cancer patients: Relay for Life, (American Cancer Society) . My mother died of breast cancer when she was only 45 years old while my brother died of Leukemia at 40 years old. This is for all the survivors and the families of those who have succumbed to the ravages of Cancer

Relay for Life Speech, June 29, 2013

vice mayor

We are here today because we all have been touched by cancer. Whether we are survivors or we have witnessed a loved one succumb to the ravages of cancer. We are here today as a community because as the saying goes, ““When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does, too.”

My mother died from breast cancer when I was sixteen. She was 45 years old.

My brother, Oscar, passed away after three years of struggling with leukemia in 1999. He was only 40 years old.

The beauty of cancer (if you can call it that) is that you have time to say goodbye.

What I remember most during the moments when my mother and brother realized the full impact that their lives would be ending soon was how they mourned for the things they could never experience. My mother wept as she said, ““I can never hold a grandchild in my arms.”

My brother, Oscar, mournfully said, ““What I fear most is that I will be forgotten.”

Oscar was lucky to have found a bone marrow match (our sister, Belen) and the stem cell transplant was done on Thanksgiving Day in 1998. I was there to hold his hand and tell him how much I loved him. I remember seeing the light of hope in his eyes as our sister’s stem cells flowed into his veins.

After the transplant, he said ““I know I will not live forever. Whether I die at 90 or if I die tomorrow, I am grateful for every moment, every day my life has been extended.”

He died 5 months later.

vice mayor 1

This is why we celebrate, remember, and fight back. We celebrate the healing and survivorship of those among us.

We remember and honor the memories of those who have passed on and treasure the moments we had shared with them.

But we will not sit in self-pity and despair. We, all of us here, are fighters. With American Cancer Society, we will fight back by raising funds in a fun day to help find a cure for cancer so that one day, we will be free at last from the C-word.

cancer survivors
Opening Ceremony of the Relay For Life with Cancer Survivors on stage

Proud member of Mommy Mundo, Social Media Moms Community #SoMoms

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Contact #SoMoms at somoms@mommymundo.com. Visit our #SoMoms community

Using the monicker ““momblogger” was a matter of convenience. I wanted to be called by my first name. You know how Filipinos are. There is always a title before one’s name like Ma’am, Miss or Ate. The evolution of my online name was more for vanity’s sake. I didn’t want to feel old online. Years later, how would I have known that personal branding would define my online reputation and the focus of my advocacy?

Not so long ago, blogging was a popular medium. Blogging was a platform to share my story on how I lost my beloved son. There is hope after a loss of a precious child. There is a new normal , a new life after a loss of a child. The platform served me well because I was able to reach out to readers with similar losses. Twitter came but I used it mainly for broadcasting my daily grind . Then facebook, instagram, pinterest and other social networks soon sprouted. It is not just mom bloggers anymore.

social mom

The rise of social media moms is a new force to reckon with. According to the 2013 Social Mom report in the USA ( see study below), “moms in general tend to be heavy users of all the major social networks: YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+. They also tend to have larger networks of friends and followers than the general population.”

1. Mom is a social leader
2. Social powers her life
3. Different social for different needs
4. The most social consumer you’ll meet
5. Marketing to Social Mom

Social moms in the Philippines are not just heavy users . They are influential in their community.

somoms community

Nuffnang was the source of digital ads for this blog for the past five years. It was time to move on to a community that can effectively deal with moms as an empowered consumer. Brands dictate too much on their own agenda but do they really care about mothers’ needs? Have they been communicating with us effectively? Whether we like it or not, the communications world is rapidly changing. Emerging media is ““the evolution of utilizing technology to share information in new and innovative ways.

It must have been fate that Mommy Mundo SoMoms came into my life early this month. This coincided shortly after I raised objections to Mead Johnsons’ sneaky #BestStartswithDad campaign ads in my blog.

Together with my good friend , Jane Uymatiao, we are the newest members of this wonderful community of social media moms. During Social Media Weekend, Janice announced that we are the newest members of the #SoMoms community . It is with great pride and joy to be with the mommies of the #SoMoms community. I feel positive with this community.

What is Mommy Mundo #SoMoms?

social media moms community

We are a collective of moms who are active on social media and have unique voices and points of view that are relevant to moms like us.

We have individual beliefs and advocacies covering a wide range of concerns that most moms today have namely, breastfeeding, babywearing, natural parenting, time management, mompreneurship, home management, beauty and fashion, health, and more.

We are passionate about sharing our discoveries with other moms, giving advice, creating conversations and building relationships online with our readers and followers.

We are proud to be social media moms. We are always online. We recognize the responsibilities of being an active influencer in social media and celebrate the opportunities that come our way.

Contact us at somoms@mommymundo.com.

social media moms

Marketing to Social Moms

With the help of our community, I hope digital advertisers shift their strategy and listen to our parenting needs and aspirations. The 2013 Social moms study reveal some tips:

1. Recognize she’s different, and so are her needs; how and what you talk about matters

2. Create a give-and-take relationship based on what she finds valuable

3. Listen to her. Act on what she says; if she asks a question, answer it – every time

4. Talk to her about things that have nothing to do with you

5. Support her busy life, don’t make demands, nurture her journey

The Social Mom is well connected and influential in her community. Moms like Jane and myself who transitioned from active parenting to being involved parents must not be underestimated.

Advertisers and brands seem to forget or underestimate a growing circle of Mom influencers and advocates who no longer have young kids. This group of Moms are my generation — older women, social media savvy, still involved with our families, wiser (we would like to think) after many successes and failures during our parenting years. We have survived the schooling years of our kids, even going as far as sleepless nights helping them with exam preparations, homework and projects. We graduated from tutoring as our kids graduated from school. We saw them through struggles to find employment on their own. We have been there through their heartbreaks and relationships. We have worried over them as they traveled to foreign lands. We have prayed each day for their protection as they drive off to work. And we remain a presence for them even if some of them have already left the ““nest” to settle somewhere else.

I am not a political blogger

I hope digital advertisers understand the advocacies I support. I am not a political blogger. I am a citizen advocate. As a mom blogger, I cannot isolate myself from the larger society. Yes, I may seem controversial but I do this to advocate social change.

My concern is to nurture both my family and community. Dealing with politics is incidental. Sometimes when you want change, the best way to attain is to through political means. But politics is not an end in itself but merely a means to an end. I use social media to drive an advocacy, to push for social good.

social media day talk1

This change benefits the country and eventually improve the business climate. Moms may react differently on specific issues but we all have a common concern : our children’s futures unite us.

Most of the moms in the #SoMoms community are so much younger than me. My daughter was kidding me that I am probably the only one with children who flew the nest.

I protested “I will always be a mom”.

ONCE A MOM, ALWAYS A MOM! No matter how grown the kids are, they will always be your precious babies in your eyes!

Contact us at somoms@mommymundo.com. Visit our #SoMoms community

Here is the 2013 Social Mom report in the USA

2013 Social Mom Report

A Healthy Attraction to People

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wedding2.jpgIt was in Twitter that I saw someone post…”asdfjhsda I’m so sick of weirdos! WHY CAN’T I ATTRACT NORMAL GUYS????????”. No offense to the guys who are attracted to that person right now, but the problem is not the guy. It’s you and me who are attracted to these types of person. My daughter and I had a conversation about how I got attracted to her dad. I remember now. I never lacked of a father image. My dad was a loving father, great provider and a mentor on handling life’s problems. But my loving dad was boring. He was so traditional and conservative, afraid to venture into the unknown. A perfect example was a trip to Europe with my sister and dad in the early 80’s. Dad preferred to take organized tours while my sister and I wanted to take the nearest train and just venture on our own. Most of all, he wasn’t demonstrative with his love. He never hugged us or said “I love You”. Subconsciously, I chose a spouse that was passionate, affectionate, happy go lucky and adventurous and to put it mildly, “wild and unconventional”. The truth of the matter was my marital problems were mainly caused by this happy go lucky trait.

When I planned on a separation with my husband a few years ago, I imagined I would find myself in another relationship. Who was I kidding? I needed to fix ME, first and foremost. The issue is about us and not the other person. That is the heart, the hope and the power of recovery.

Often, we learn about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted. The basic question is : What then is a healthy attraction towards people?

1. In recovery, we strive towards a healthy attraction to people. We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are not their potential nor to what we hope they will become.

2. We need to work family of origin issues. The less one needed to work out on these issues, the less one needed to work through them with the people one gets attracted to. It meant one needed to finish our business from the past as it helps us form new and healthier relationships.

What I needed to do was reach out to my inner adventurous spirit. I didn’t need a partner to compensate this for me.

3. The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.

Once we take care of ourselves, we start to value ourselves. Loving ourselves overflows and it transcends to others that value our love.

4. Be patient with yourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to does not change overnight.

5. Learn to take care of yourself during the process of forming and initiating relationships. Learn to tread slowly, to pay attention and even allow mistakes , even when we know better.

6. Stop blaming our relationships on others or on God and begin to take responsibility for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships and extricate ourselves more quicly from the dysfunctional ones.

We learn to look what’s good for us instead of seeking what’s good for the other person. We need to take responsibility for ourselves and learn what we need to learn.

Trust that the people you want and need will come into your life.

I trust that my daughters will form a healthy attraction to people in their lives. I trust that they will be open to the lessons they need to learn about themselves in relationships so that they will be prepared for the best possible relationships with people.

The father of my children speaks up on #BestStartsWithDad

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my husband the father of my children

A few weeks ago, I was horrified to see Mead Johnson Nutrition ads in this blog that supposedly honor fathers on Father’s day. Why would Mead Johnson Nutrition (MJN) spend so much money on gadgets to entice everyone to submit pictures of fathers and their kids? Why will they spend on ads in all TV stations this afternoon? Do you think MJN cares about the nutrition of their children. Think about it.

My friend Jen explains it best in her comments at the Chronicles of a Nursing Mom

Think about this. Mead Johnson, a milk company (yes, the ENTIRE RANGE from forumla to older people milk), focuses on dads. Dads feel good (marketing nga eh, diba?)! And who wouldn’t with the carrots they’re dangling (gadgets, etc). One day Mom has a new baby and she might be having a difficult first 2-3 days. Dad remembers MJN and says “honey, bili nalang tayo ng ********, para di ka mahirapan.” Then that can RUIN the REAL BEST START ng baby — ang Breastfeeding. When Dads do this, MJN HOPES that the dads remember them. (this is where it translates to sales for MJN).

By convincing dads that the best start to life is Mead Johnson Nutrition, I feel they are undermining breastfeeding ““by removing a crucial factor in the successful breastfeeding relationship- the dad”.

In an exploratory study, “paternal emotional, practical and physical supports were identified as important factors to promote successful breastfeeding and to enrich the experience for the mother and subsequently the father.”

Dads do make a difference.

The father of my children has been so supportive of breastfeeding since day 1. He never had any sleepless nights because our babies just latched on to me and slept peacefully. In those days , I had no peer group or websites to give me the moral support. It was just my husband and myself believing that we were giving the best nutrition to our children.

It is just the two of us right now but we have not forgotten our child-rearing days. I told Jenny that we should honor our husbands, the father of our children through a live-stream chat. Much to my delight , my husband agreed to participate in this live stream chat of “#BreastfeedingPH discussion with moms & dads #BestStartswithDad”.

butch my husband

In the first part, moms talk about the support, the love and dedication that their husbands gave them when they were breastfeeding their babies. In the second half, we discuss the importance of being breast feeding advocates. The breastfeeding advocacy includes protection, promotion, and support. “Protection means you fight those people who are fooling us. Promotion, that you make mothers want to breastfeed. And support, because even mothers who want to breastfeed need to be supported.

Lastly, the moms sent the sweetest Father’s day message to their husbands thanking them for their support and their recognition that the #BestStartswithDad is Breastfeeding

Listen to their father’s day greeting in this video (around the 1:00 hour mark):

Happy father’s day to all the dads for their dedication, commitment, persistence and support to breastfeeding, as the best start to our children’s nutrition.

When the children leave

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I miss my babies, my children.

my children

My home has been a semi-empty nest since 2010 when my second child flew to Australia to work then eventually taking her post-graduate studies. During college, they lived in dorms close to their school in Quezon City when we used to live in Makati. That wasn’t too bad because I saw them once a week.

Nothing hits hard when the last child finally leaves home. My eldest daughter moved to her condominium on May 1. She had been paying for her “shoebox” as she calls it since she was 22 years old. I am proud that she is a property owner at so young an age . The fact that she saved a huge portion of her salary to invest in this property the last three years or so is quite an achievement.

My second daughter moved to Germany on April 30 and is officially an OFW. I am just as proud of her academic achievements and getting a job in Europe for the next three years. At her age, I traveled around Europe. The difference is , she gets to work there. She is truly blessed.

I have been preparing for this but when the day finally came, it hits a raw nerve. I would always whine during their last few months at home…”Oh you are leaving me. I will miss you”.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for them. Children should learn to be independent from their parents as soon as they are able to. I wanted them to feel that they can survive on their own, yet having their parents close by. My mom died of breast cancer when I was a teen-ager. If that should have happened to me, I did not want them to feel helpless. Though I lived on my own after college, I felt my girls lived a sheltered life. I prepared them for it. They slept with me on the family bed till they left for college. It is a nice warm feeling having them close in my arms. The family bed ritual gave them a feeling of security as they ventured on their own.

I have long accepted that my children are riding off into their own future, maybe as shakily or as steadily as when they rode the first bike I gave them. Maybe it is my turn to have this shaky feeling at times.

I have no regrets. As a full-time homemaker , I gave up a career and took care of them during their growing years.

I am grateful for blogging which gives me an avenue to pursue a passion, doing something good for the country and the future of my children. It offers a distraction from the loneliness that hits me hard during this time of the month.

my-family-with-luijoe

I can’t suppress this pang of sadness and loneliness because it is Luijoe’s 13th angel date, today.

If Luijoe were alive, I would still have a child around the house because he would only be 19 years old.

If Luijoe were alive, he would probably be with me, hugging me every now and then till he is 23 years old until he decides to travel abroad like my second daughter did.

If Luijoe were alive, the sound of a child’s footsteps on the hallway and cries of “mom” would still fill the air.

If. if…it is my grief talking and knowing that love never dies … and the sadness of having no children at home at times like these. Oh well, there are my two cats, the two helpers and my husband to keep me company.

I know this crushing sense of grief is just for today.

Tomorrow will be better.

candle-lighting

A hug is a handshake from the heart

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You can’t wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug. ~Author Unknown

HUG [huhg] – verb : to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace

A friend who I have not seen for over 30 years suddenly gave me a full-on hug, unselfconsciously without much thought and took my breath away. I guess there were some things left unspoken. My affection is beyond words.

A tight hug overcomes all boundaries. It speaks words within the mind that cannot be spoken. For some reason, I was so touched by that one good hug that I sort of teared that night, not of sadness but of joy. It felt good to be hugged by a dear friend whom I have lost contact. The hugs felt so good because it relieved any feelings of emptiness and burdens that I may have carried unconsciously.

Hugs feel so good because all unexpressed feelings can be expressed in the manner of hugging.

Hugs feel good because it serves as one avenue of expressing any kind of emotion that is difficult to express verbally.

They say there is a science to hugging.

The act of hugging comes in various forms. Experts claimed that hugs give positive effects on health. Research has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin as well as it reduces blood pressure levels. In fact, hugs have known to increase levels of serotonin, which is the hormone responsible for one’s mood, emotional responses and energy levels. With its increase, it stimulates other systems to function efficiently and adequately giving one person an exceptional feeling of wellness.

Psychologist Virginia Satir once said, ““We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” I take the time and energy in eating right, exercising, and nurturing myself. I make sure I get a minimum dose of four hugs a day and even more from my husband and family. I am not talking of 10 second hugs. The hugs should be at least 20 seconds. A study at the University of North Carolina found that levels of cortisol, the hormone produced when we’re under stress, were significantly lowered (particularly in women) when subjects hugged their partners for at least twenty seconds.

The world would be a better place if we smiled more often and hugged a bit longer.

Give someone a big long hug. Make sure it lasts at least 20 seconds.

From me to you, here is a virtual hug.

” Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism.”
Leo Buscaglia

Change for the better starts today. #ChangeForTheBetter

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The most important political office is that of the private citizen. ~Louis Brandeis

I love my children.
I think of their future.
I hope for a good leader.

We all want that for our children, right? So listen up…we need to do our share in helping our country change for the better.

Be part of the change for the better by starting with yourself. .It starts with YOU..in choosing candidates that will work for your children’s future. Armed with that choice, you need to go out and vote .

But your part does not end in casting your ballot. Be champions of Honest, Orderly and Peaceful Elections by taking action on the 2013 elections. Social media has made it easier for citizens to participate in the electoral process. You can make a difference by being part of the #juanvote network of citizen voters empowered with their social media tools.

As netizens, we have the social media capital and channels to make our votes count, to help educate both candidates and voters, and help expand the coverage of the elections beyond what we see on TV and hear on the radio.

It was in 2010 that Filipino netizens formed #juanvote network to monitor elections online . This year, we are using the same hashtag to report law violations. Why?

We want to keep a close watch on today’s elections. The name #juanvote is used because the network calls on citizens to use hi-tech means to expose and hopefully thwart electoral fraud and violence. These elections are very important. We have to make sure that the candidates know that netizens and other citizens want changes and reforms to keep the internet free, to improve and expand internet access, check telco abuses, and make government more transparent and accountable. These issues could be addressed by candidates who have a clear stand on the laws we want repealed or bills we want passed into law.

I call on bloggers and all netizens to tweet using the #juanvote hashtag. Tweet that you have voted. Tweet if you see law violations and problems during the voting,

Take up the challenge to make a difference no matter how small just like Krem- Top’s campaign “Change for the better” .

Today May 13, do your share in helping the nation change for the better.

KT-ADrev12

A Moment of Silence or a prayer of Hope for all of you.

—-, let me be the change I want to see
To do with strength and wisdom
All that needs to be done
And become the hope that I can be.
Set me free from my fears and hesitations.
Grant me courage and humility.
Fill me with spirit to face the challenge
And start the change I want to see.
Today, I start the change I want to see.
Even if I’m not the light, I can be the spark.
In faith, service and communion
Let us start the change we want to see,
The change that begins in me

When I look at my daughters I see myself…only better.

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Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained so, in circles joined to circles, since time began – Signe Hammer

daughters

It’s amazing. I can’t believe how grown-up my daughters are. My eldest is 27 years old and my second is turning 26 years old. They are just wonderful. Twenty something years ago, my life revolved around them, changing diapers, running after them, reading stories, driving them to school and back. Life with grown up daughters is like having two sisters.

daughter Gone are the days when I’d tie pretty pink ribbons on their hair. These days, we borrow each other’s clothes, make-up, accessories that our helper can’t tell anymore who owns a particular clothing item. Lauren does my makeup on special occasions. I tell her to camouflage my sagging eyelids and does a good job at it. They update me with the latest fashion. They serve as my personal stylist suggesting colors, hairstyle, makeup. Oh and one time, I borrowed money to pay our electric bill when I was short in cash.

daughterOf course , motherhood wasn’t all that smooth-sailing , having gone through stages of motherhood that went rocky in the teen years.

Don’t these words sound familiar?

4 Years Of Age – My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She’s way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom

For each phase of motherhood involved adjustment and letting go.

I know I have been an disappointment in the turbulent years of my grief. I often wondered how to make up for those lost years and I read somewhere that the best way to help your kids is just taking care of yourself and they will follow suit. Like Wayne Dyer said, “Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say.” We muddled through those tough years, and after much trial and error, I believe we have now come full circle.

So gone are those days when I would nag “Ugh , clean up your room.” These days “your room is so pretty if it were just more organized” which often leads to action. I want them to enjoy life, party hard, be safe and responsible.

What I hope most for my daughters is that they soar confidently in their own sky, whatever that may be.

daughters1

I wish they will always be with me to love and to hold but I know at the same time, I should just step back and watch then fly high and free. Now they have flown their wings and I am left with an empty nest. Though it makes me a bit sentimental, I am glad I gave up my career to be with them during their growing years.

Happy Mother’s day to everyone.

Dear three senatorial candidates (that I am voting for) #juanvote

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This is my #juanvote Blog Action day post:

It is five days before May 13, 2013.

I made a choice.

I have only three in my list.

You ask, ““So who are you voting?”

It does not matter who my candidate is. As project editor of Blogwatch.ph, it is prudent that I keep that choice privately. Oh yes, netizens, friends, and relatives  ask me and I tell them my choices and the reasons behind my choice and why I did not vote for the others .

citizen media

Certain quarters cannot distinguish me as a voter and me, as the editor.  I want Blog Watch to remain non-partisan. I can tell you  though that I will vote with my conscience.

My decision was based on an article I wrote  Voting matrix: How to select a candidate to vote for as senator .

voting_matrix
Click to enlarge

This election day is start of new things to come. Changes need to be made. Enough of political dynasty. There is no law that stops them from running but my vote may make a difference if I start today. I voted for you because you are not associated with a dynasty.

I made a choice to vote those NOT associated with a fat political dynasty (having immediate family members running or currently holding an elective position) .

Why the big deal on political dynasty?  Most say the people decide on election day. This is democracy. But is it really democracy?  My rationale is based on the explanation from  the Policy Study, Publication, and Advocacy (PSPA) Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG) October 3, 2012)

The concentration, expansion, and consolidation of political dynasties over the past 100 years attests to the continuing hegemony of feudal politics, the absence of any form of real democracy, and the continued powerlessness of a vast marginalized majority in the Philippines. Definitely alarming today is the entrenchment of the system of political dynasties on a higher and blatant scale making the fair representation of the large majority of Filipinos even more elusive.

Two of the seven desired criteria I identified carried the most weight :  supportive of women’s rights (maternal health) and standing up for children rights. The rest of my desired criteria were:

1. voting to repeal/amend the cybercrime law,
2. promotion of small and medium enterprises,
3. in favor of an anti-political dynasty law
4. Supportive of a divorce law
5. a pro-environmental platform .

These are my beliefs and issues that hold dear to me.  Your track record, competence and platforms were indeed good factors to consider in my decision making process.  The other non-quantifiable aspect is gut feel and your campaign strategy.

The way a candidate handles his/her campaign gives me an insight to the governance of this candidate.

I know impressions can be misleading  but I trust my gut feelings on my experience dealing with you. (Hint: my candidates are three of those Blog Watch interviewed: View Summary of podcast of the 10 candidates : Jun Magsaysay, Teddy Casino, Risa Hontiveros, Koko Pimentel, Edward Hagedorn, Cynthia Villar, Alan Peter Cayetano, Tingting Cojuangco, Gringo Honasan and Jack Enrile.) . I placed a big weight on this because I know you are busy but took time to talk two hours with ordinary citizens.

As a citizen-voter, I will practice continued vigilance and participate in governance.

I will participate in legislating laws through legislative advocacy, a process of engaging with the legislature and other governmental and social institution to ensure that the concerns and welfare of the general electorate be articulated in the deliberations of bills and other legislative measures as well as in the final versions of laws.

I know you will be good for the country and the future of my children’s children.

Sincerely,

@momblogger on Twitter

P.S. Here are other letters dedicated to you

A background material on political dynasties:

CenPEG Analysis : Horizontal and Vertical Expansion of Political Dynasties

Celebrating our love: 28 years married

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silver-wedding-anniversary

I managed to squeeze in some love-dovey moments at the height of the miting de avance of presidential candidates three years ago. Now it is the 2013 mid-term elections and luckily today is a Sunday so I am spending it with my daughter. Sadly, my second daughter is now in Germany and can’t spend it with us but the memories of being together the past years is enough to get me by.

When Butch and I shared our 25th wedding anniversary celebration with a sprinkle of old and new friends, family and relatives, it was truly a celebration. We had so much fun. our guests were entertained with the video of our wedding 25 years ago along with live violin music . It felt strange seeing our young selves, 25 years ago. Guests who were present in our wedding laughed as they saw their young and slimmer figures.

silver-wedding-celebrationButch and I still look good. My husband looks gorgeous even with silver-gray hair. Celebrating our love with our two lovely girls (and Luijoe in our hearts) made it such a memorable occasion. Yup, we are still in love with each other but not after loving and hating each other many, many times in the past 25 years. Not after I broke my leg from leaving the house.

Friends of my husband think I should be given an “accomplishment award”. Haha, they know how difficult Butch can be. I also tell them that Butch never gave up even at the time I gave up on our marriage.

It was not an easy journey. I learned to let go of things that I had no control of and instead changed my attitude. We have three beautiful children, two with us to love and to hold , the other to dream, cherish and love always. Our bad times made our love even stronger. We made it this far. It called for a celebration.

wedding anniversarywedding anniversary

I have found happiness with Butch. I know the place we live in earth will not last forever. I also know that the energy of love never dies as I have felt with the death of my son. I intend to treasure every single moment we’re alive, in love and together forever.