A hug is a handshake from the heart

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

You can’t wrap love in a box, but you can wrap a person in a hug. ~Author Unknown

HUG [huhg] – verb : to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection; embrace

A friend who I have not seen for over 30 years suddenly gave me a full-on hug, unselfconsciously without much thought and took my breath away. I guess there were some things left unspoken. My affection is beyond words.

A tight hug overcomes all boundaries. It speaks words within the mind that cannot be spoken. For some reason, I was so touched by that one good hug that I sort of teared that night, not of sadness but of joy. It felt good to be hugged by a dear friend whom I have lost contact. The hugs felt so good because it relieved any feelings of emptiness and burdens that I may have carried unconsciously.

Hugs feel so good because all unexpressed feelings can be expressed in the manner of hugging.

Hugs feel good because it serves as one avenue of expressing any kind of emotion that is difficult to express verbally.

They say there is a science to hugging.

The act of hugging comes in various forms. Experts claimed that hugs give positive effects on health. Research has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin as well as it reduces blood pressure levels. In fact, hugs have known to increase levels of serotonin, which is the hormone responsible for one’s mood, emotional responses and energy levels. With its increase, it stimulates other systems to function efficiently and adequately giving one person an exceptional feeling of wellness.

Psychologist Virginia Satir once said, ““We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” I take the time and energy in eating right, exercising, and nurturing myself. I make sure I get a minimum dose of four hugs a day and even more from my husband and family. I am not talking of 10 second hugs. The hugs should be at least 20 seconds. A study at the University of North Carolina found that levels of cortisol, the hormone produced when we’re under stress, were significantly lowered (particularly in women) when subjects hugged their partners for at least twenty seconds.

The world would be a better place if we smiled more often and hugged a bit longer.

Give someone a big long hug. Make sure it lasts at least 20 seconds.

From me to you, here is a virtual hug.

” Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism.”
Leo Buscaglia

Change for the better starts today. #ChangeForTheBetter

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. ~Louis Brandeis

I love my children.
I think of their future.
I hope for a good leader.

We all want that for our children, right? So listen up…we need to do our share in helping our country change for the better.

Be part of the change for the better by starting with yourself. .It starts with YOU..in choosing candidates that will work for your children’s future. Armed with that choice, you need to go out and vote .

But your part does not end in casting your ballot. Be champions of Honest, Orderly and Peaceful Elections by taking action on the 2013 elections. Social media has made it easier for citizens to participate in the electoral process. You can make a difference by being part of the #juanvote network of citizen voters empowered with their social media tools.

As netizens, we have the social media capital and channels to make our votes count, to help educate both candidates and voters, and help expand the coverage of the elections beyond what we see on TV and hear on the radio.

It was in 2010 that Filipino netizens formed #juanvote network to monitor elections online . This year, we are using the same hashtag to report law violations. Why?

We want to keep a close watch on today’s elections. The name #juanvote is used because the network calls on citizens to use hi-tech means to expose and hopefully thwart electoral fraud and violence. These elections are very important. We have to make sure that the candidates know that netizens and other citizens want changes and reforms to keep the internet free, to improve and expand internet access, check telco abuses, and make government more transparent and accountable. These issues could be addressed by candidates who have a clear stand on the laws we want repealed or bills we want passed into law.

I call on bloggers and all netizens to tweet using the #juanvote hashtag. Tweet that you have voted. Tweet if you see law violations and problems during the voting,

Take up the challenge to make a difference no matter how small just like Krem- Top’s campaign “Change for the better” .

Today May 13, do your share in helping the nation change for the better.

KT-ADrev12

A Moment of Silence or a prayer of Hope for all of you.

—-, let me be the change I want to see
To do with strength and wisdom
All that needs to be done
And become the hope that I can be.
Set me free from my fears and hesitations.
Grant me courage and humility.
Fill me with spirit to face the challenge
And start the change I want to see.
Today, I start the change I want to see.
Even if I’m not the light, I can be the spark.
In faith, service and communion
Let us start the change we want to see,
The change that begins in me

When I look at my daughters I see myself…only better.

by ⋅ 12 Comments

Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained so, in circles joined to circles, since time began – Signe Hammer

daughters

It’s amazing. I can’t believe how grown-up my daughters are. My eldest is 27 years old and my second is turning 26 years old. They are just wonderful. Twenty something years ago, my life revolved around them, changing diapers, running after them, reading stories, driving them to school and back. Life with grown up daughters is like having two sisters.

daughter Gone are the days when I’d tie pretty pink ribbons on their hair. These days, we borrow each other’s clothes, make-up, accessories that our helper can’t tell anymore who owns a particular clothing item. Lauren does my makeup on special occasions. I tell her to camouflage my sagging eyelids and does a good job at it. They update me with the latest fashion. They serve as my personal stylist suggesting colors, hairstyle, makeup. Oh and one time, I borrowed money to pay our electric bill when I was short in cash.

daughterOf course , motherhood wasn’t all that smooth-sailing , having gone through stages of motherhood that went rocky in the teen years.

Don’t these words sound familiar?

4 Years Of Age – My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She’s way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom

For each phase of motherhood involved adjustment and letting go.

I know I have been an disappointment in the turbulent years of my grief. I often wondered how to make up for those lost years and I read somewhere that the best way to help your kids is just taking care of yourself and they will follow suit. Like Wayne Dyer said, “Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say.” We muddled through those tough years, and after much trial and error, I believe we have now come full circle.

So gone are those days when I would nag “Ugh , clean up your room.” These days “your room is so pretty if it were just more organized” which often leads to action. I want them to enjoy life, party hard, be safe and responsible.

What I hope most for my daughters is that they soar confidently in their own sky, whatever that may be.

daughters1

I wish they will always be with me to love and to hold but I know at the same time, I should just step back and watch then fly high and free. Now they have flown their wings and I am left with an empty nest. Though it makes me a bit sentimental, I am glad I gave up my career to be with them during their growing years.

Happy Mother’s day to everyone.

Dear three senatorial candidates (that I am voting for) #juanvote

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

This is my #juanvote Blog Action day post:

It is five days before May 13, 2013.

I made a choice.

I have only three in my list.

You ask, ““So who are you voting?”

It does not matter who my candidate is. As project editor of Blogwatch.ph, it is prudent that I keep that choice privately. Oh yes, netizens, friends, and relatives  ask me and I tell them my choices and the reasons behind my choice and why I did not vote for the others .

citizen media

Certain quarters cannot distinguish me as a voter and me, as the editor.  I want Blog Watch to remain non-partisan. I can tell you  though that I will vote with my conscience.

My decision was based on an article I wrote  Voting matrix: How to select a candidate to vote for as senator .

voting_matrix
Click to enlarge

This election day is start of new things to come. Changes need to be made. Enough of political dynasty. There is no law that stops them from running but my vote may make a difference if I start today. I voted for you because you are not associated with a dynasty.

I made a choice to vote those NOT associated with a fat political dynasty (having immediate family members running or currently holding an elective position) .

Why the big deal on political dynasty?  Most say the people decide on election day. This is democracy. But is it really democracy?  My rationale is based on the explanation from  the Policy Study, Publication, and Advocacy (PSPA) Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG) October 3, 2012)

The concentration, expansion, and consolidation of political dynasties over the past 100 years attests to the continuing hegemony of feudal politics, the absence of any form of real democracy, and the continued powerlessness of a vast marginalized majority in the Philippines. Definitely alarming today is the entrenchment of the system of political dynasties on a higher and blatant scale making the fair representation of the large majority of Filipinos even more elusive.

Two of the seven desired criteria I identified carried the most weight :  supportive of women’s rights (maternal health) and standing up for children rights. The rest of my desired criteria were:

1. voting to repeal/amend the cybercrime law,
2. promotion of small and medium enterprises,
3. in favor of an anti-political dynasty law
4. Supportive of a divorce law
5. a pro-environmental platform .

These are my beliefs and issues that hold dear to me.  Your track record, competence and platforms were indeed good factors to consider in my decision making process.  The other non-quantifiable aspect is gut feel and your campaign strategy.

The way a candidate handles his/her campaign gives me an insight to the governance of this candidate.

I know impressions can be misleading  but I trust my gut feelings on my experience dealing with you. (Hint: my candidates are three of those Blog Watch interviewed: View Summary of podcast of the 10 candidates : Jun Magsaysay, Teddy Casino, Risa Hontiveros, Koko Pimentel, Edward Hagedorn, Cynthia Villar, Alan Peter Cayetano, Tingting Cojuangco, Gringo Honasan and Jack Enrile.) . I placed a big weight on this because I know you are busy but took time to talk two hours with ordinary citizens.

As a citizen-voter, I will practice continued vigilance and participate in governance.

I will participate in legislating laws through legislative advocacy, a process of engaging with the legislature and other governmental and social institution to ensure that the concerns and welfare of the general electorate be articulated in the deliberations of bills and other legislative measures as well as in the final versions of laws.

I know you will be good for the country and the future of my children’s children.

Sincerely,

@momblogger on Twitter

P.S. Here are other letters dedicated to you

A background material on political dynasties:

CenPEG Analysis : Horizontal and Vertical Expansion of Political Dynasties

Celebrating our love: 28 years married

by ⋅ 10 Comments

silver-wedding-anniversary

I managed to squeeze in some love-dovey moments at the height of the miting de avance of presidential candidates three years ago. Now it is the 2013 mid-term elections and luckily today is a Sunday so I am spending it with my daughter. Sadly, my second daughter is now in Germany and can’t spend it with us but the memories of being together the past years is enough to get me by.

When Butch and I shared our 25th wedding anniversary celebration with a sprinkle of old and new friends, family and relatives, it was truly a celebration. We had so much fun. our guests were entertained with the video of our wedding 25 years ago along with live violin music . It felt strange seeing our young selves, 25 years ago. Guests who were present in our wedding laughed as they saw their young and slimmer figures.

silver-wedding-celebrationButch and I still look good. My husband looks gorgeous even with silver-gray hair. Celebrating our love with our two lovely girls (and Luijoe in our hearts) made it such a memorable occasion. Yup, we are still in love with each other but not after loving and hating each other many, many times in the past 25 years. Not after I broke my leg from leaving the house.

Friends of my husband think I should be given an “accomplishment award”. Haha, they know how difficult Butch can be. I also tell them that Butch never gave up even at the time I gave up on our marriage.

It was not an easy journey. I learned to let go of things that I had no control of and instead changed my attitude. We have three beautiful children, two with us to love and to hold , the other to dream, cherish and love always. Our bad times made our love even stronger. We made it this far. It called for a celebration.

wedding anniversarywedding anniversary

I have found happiness with Butch. I know the place we live in earth will not last forever. I also know that the energy of love never dies as I have felt with the death of my son. I intend to treasure every single moment we’re alive, in love and together forever.

The fine art of arguing with my dear husband.

by ⋅ 20 Comments

husbandI am so proud of my husband. Not only is he the breadwinner, he’s also the cook during weekends. I’m lazy like that. But what I’m really proud off are the positive changes in him since we gave each other a second wind in our marriage. In the past, he’d find excuses to entertain clients in fine dining places or anywhere else but home.

Look at him now! A cook.

My stubborn nature often blamed my husband for the marital discord. A rock must have hit my head one day when I realized I, too, am part of the equation in the marriage. One of the many things I corrected was the way I’d argue with my husband. See, my husband rants a lot when he is frustrated and is quite short-tempered as a result. Oftentimes, I end up getting riled up when he is in that brooding mood. After 35 years of togetherness, I finally perfected the fine art of arguing with my dear husband. Here are my strategies :

1. Using powerful words such as ““Yes, dear I see exactly where you’re coming from. You mean…….”
This statement makes it clear enough that I heard my husband. That’s all he really wants— to be validated. By agreeing with him, I gradually simmer down his anger.

2. Stay calm.
My husband has this awful habit of calling me up via cellphone when he is caught in traffic. All he does is huff and huff about the awful traffic jam. He doesn’t know this but I don’t place the earpiece on my ear. I place my ear every so often on the earpiece to see if he is done with his rant. In effect, I let the storm run its course. I can tell when he is done when I don’t hear his barking voice. I then say “Turn on the music and zone off”. Works like a charm.

3. Just let him babble on and on
Sooner or later, my husband will soon grow tired of his own voice. Sometimes that’s all he wants To be heard. To feel appreciated. In the meantime, as this is all happening, I …

4. Use the Power of Visualization
It’s hard to be the brunt of the rants. What I do is zone off and imagine him as my loving husband who is just venting out and when all the steam has been released, he will soon hug me and say “thanks for listening”.

5. Avoid “You should or you should not…”
At the heat of any argument, I don’t butt in and say “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You should be calm”. When I am disappointed or impatient with his attitude, I just say “I feel sad that you are feeling that way”. By owning my feelings, I am not accusing him or making him responsible for my of sadness. Even if he seeks advice, I still say “I feel this is the right approach…” . I never say ““you’re wrong.” I often try hard to look for areas of agreement and work on them.

In short, avoid the “you…” sentence.

6. When I’m wrong, I admit it.
I make mistakes now and then, so I say ““You’re absolutely right, dear, I know it’s my fault and here is what I’ll do to make amends.” Even if I am NOT wrong, at least I give him the benefit of the doubt, ““I may be wrong, let’s examine all the facts together.” It’s hard to argue with that.

me and butch in macau

If I had known earlier in life that my pride needed to take a backseat, then I would have saved a lot of heartache and energies. It’s not about winning an argument. It’s about peaceful co-existence without creating more conflict.

What other strategies have you used to resolve conflicts?

Life is about making choices

by ⋅ 6 Comments

““The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.”

I have choices. We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

People may feel trapped in their relationships, their jobs and their lives. They may feel locked in a controlling or caretaking behavior.

Feeling trapped is sympton of codependency. A long time ago, I use to be a codependent. I should know. Yup, I drove myself crazy and my family even crazier. Haha.

I often heard myself saying “I have to take care of ..”.

“I have to say yes”

“I have to control …”

” I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…”

I know I was choosing not to see choices. It seems that being trapped is really an illusion. Are you really trapped?

I know I am not anymore.

All that unhealthy behavior changed seven years ago when I recognized that I had choices. Healthy choices.

I an NOT controlled by circumstances, my past, my expectations of others or unhealthy expectations for ourselves.

I choose what feels right for me, without guilt.

I have options.

Recovery is not about acting perfectly or according to someone else’s rules.

Recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.

I choose to open my thinking and myself to choices available to me.

I make choices that are good to me.

I choose to be happy.

I choose not to live a life of misery despite losing a son.

I choose to try to do good for others.

I choose to use my blog as a vehicle for advocacy.

I choose to love my country and do what I can to help.

I choose to live a meaningful life.

I choose love above everything, because

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Have you made choices that are good to you lately?

Here are some thoughts to ponder on about making choices. These quotes are culled from Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s book called ““Choices.”

““The choices we make by accident are just as important as the choices we make by design.”

““Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”

““Whatever you choose, you might as well enjoy it. It is your choice.”

““When you have a problem, make a choice…you’ll feel better.”

““No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.”

““You may think that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way.”

““Some people choose to live by complaining. Other people choose to live.”

““It is your programming that has created your choices in the past. It is the choices you make today that are creating the programs of your future.”

““There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice.”

““It is only when you exercise your right to choose that you can also exercise your right to change.”

““If you were given only one choice: To choose or not to choose, which would you choose?”

““Another person’s choice is nothing more than another alternative for you to consider.”

““There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count.”

““The choices we make in the heat of emotion would be better if left for some other day.”

““Listen to the quietest whispers of your mind. They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.”

““If you’d like to know what your choices have been, look at yourself and the life you have lived. What you see is the choices you’ve made.”

““Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”

““You cannot manage your life if you do not manage your self. You cannot manage your self if you do not manage your choices. Manage your choices, and you will manage your life.”

““Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive.”

““Those who choose to succeed always do better than those who never choose at all.”

““The highest levels are most certainly filled with those who chose to be there.”

““Even the best of choices is only as strong as the choices that stand by its side.”

““It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.”

““Each day that passes, your choices will come and go. They are like diamonds in a chest of jewels, each waiting to be discovered.”

““If you have to take time to make a choice, take time. Then make the choice.”

Does media play a role in distorting the values of young people?

by ⋅ 1 Comment

“Children learn how to deal with relationships by what they see on TV. They see people having casual sex and using obscenity-laden language… I don’t see how it could possibly be good for kids.” – Faye Steuer, professor of psychology at Charleston College (Charleston Post and Courier, August 25, 2005)

 

More than a year ago, a  13-year-old boy shot his 16-year-old friend inside a mall then killing himself . So tragic and unbelievable. It just broke my heart for someone so young to feel so much despair.

Did the boy even get the chance to talk to someone much wiser about his emotional problems? People were quick to blame the security of the mall.

Someone points out it is possible that media “played a role in distorting the values of young people to lead them to over-the-top emotionalism and a hunger for ultimate acts of drama for the sake public attention or impact? ”

With media and access to the internet available to everyone, the process of maturation has completely changed — if not accelerated at breakneck pace. Change in the world today has become reckless and there is no stopping the endless shifts of trends and fashions. Media and the worldwide web play major roles in the everyday lives of almost everyone especially the young. What kids see and hear and absorb shape how they think, feel and react to circumstances in their awkward developmental years.

I knew the dangers of technology that enters a young kid’s lives when internet arrived in our household in 1996. Media whether it be TV or the internet has an impact on the behavior and development of children. The amount of sex and violence on TV today dwarfs what was on when I was a kid. Can we blame media? There are things we cannot control but we as parents can surely control the TV and internet time of our kids. Most kids tune into the world of television long before they enter school. I do not know the circumstances of the kids involved in the malls shooting incident. I believe too much of anything is bad for our children and that means being tuned to TV , gadgets or internet for long periods of time.

There are other activities to distract our children and this includes a board game, a game of hide and seek, playing outside, reading, working on crafts or hobbies, or listening and dancing to music. The possibilities for fun without the TV and computer is endless.

TV and the world wide web is full of stories and commercials that depict risky behaviors such as sex and substance abuse as cool, fun, and exciting. A discussion about the consequences of drinking alcohol, doing drugs, smoking cigarettes, and having premarital sex is always a good idea.

I took it as my responsibility to monitor content of TV programming and internet time and set viewing limits to ensure that my kids did not spend too much time on it.

It is worrisome thinking about other children and the negative effect of media on their emotions and behavior.

Does media play a role in distorting the values of young people? So what can we do? Parents, educators and relevant government agencies can work together to minimize the negative effects of media and at the same time celebrate the positive aspects.

The blame game is utterly useless now. Action starts in our own homes.

“I really believe that we do damage children by the messages we show them when they’re too young.”- Marshall Herskovitz, co-executive producer of Thirtysomething

Words and ways to comfort the bereaved

by ⋅ 12 Comments

Don’t judge me unless you have looked through my eyes, experienced what i have, and cried as many tears as me. Until then back-off, cause you have no idea.

angel-of-grief

Today Matthew Warren died of suicide. He is the son of Rick and Kay Warren who must be facing the most painful moment in their lives. There is no pain more gut-wrenching than losing a child. My heart and prayers go out to them at this most difficult time.

““No words can express the anguished grief we feel right now,” Warren wrote in a letter to his congregation.

A long time ago, I too lost a son and I found hope and courage in Rick Warren’s The Purpose-driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? . The book inspired me to move beyond the pain of losing a son and work on my new normal. Because the book talks about starting a service, I initiated the The Compassionate Friends Philippines Chapter with the help of Cathy Babao and Alma Miclat.

I can’t be there to hug Rick and Kay Warren for their loss and thanking them too for giving me the courage to live this new normal after the death of my son. What I can do is to continue on with my advocacy on suicide prevention and grief education such as ways to comfort the bereaved.

In most of my meetings with the bereaved, a common complaint is the insensitivity of concerned friends or relatives. I see it also in some of the insensitive tweets addressed to Rick Warren questioning the circumstances of his death. Some may not know what to say and blurt out the wrong words.

I have had my own share. I know the depth of concern they have towards us but in their enthusiasm, they blurt out the most insensitive remarks. Newly bereaved are very sensitive to these remarks.

Many parents feel they were being unjustly judged and criticized by those who could not possibly understand because they have not experienced the loss of a child. Compassionate Friends USA shares the proper response.

Our wonderful, concerned, well-meaning friends don’t know. They can only imagine how the newly bereaved feel. They haven’t personally known (thank God) the disbelief, the shock, the anger of losing a child or any loved one. Instead of bringing relief, those words just seem to add to the hurt and the grief. There are no words that will make it all right that someone we loved has died. But there are ways that can soothe the hurt, ease the loneliness and add to the healing. Recently, my sister visited The Compassionate Friends to get tips on how to comfort a family whose daughter died of suicide.

candle-light

I’d like to share some of the ways to comfort the bereaved:

Read More →

The good old Erap Jokes

by ⋅ 6 Comments

Updated: I posted this 7 years ago and thought of bringing it back in the light of Erap’s recent campaign bid for Mayor of Manila.

Enjoy!

April 12, 2006: With the start of Joseph Estrada’s plunder trial , the Erap jokes are back again in circulation:

Jinggoy: dad, kita madadalaw ngayon. May urine test ako bukas. ( Dad, I can’t visit you today. I have a urine test tomorrow)
Erap: Okay lang anak, aral kang mabuti ha. (that’s okay, son. Just study well.)

Erap might have been accused of many things but he left behind a legacy, “the Erap jokes”. My son adored Erap simply because of his famous Erap jokes. He found them funny and wanted to know more Erap jokes. We even bought the Erap joke book. Here is one of Luijoe’s favorite Erap jokes.

Erap buys a ballpen:

Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpens
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?

Luijoe loved to tell this joke to everyone . One time, Luijoe and I passed by Penshoppe ( a teen fashion store) in Glorietta mall and I teased him if he wanted to go inside with me , so I could ask the same question Erap asked.

Luijoe was shocked at my suggestion…”NO, MOM!” He pulled me away towards the play area.

Hehe. My son must have thought I was crazier than Erap.

———–
More Erap Jokes:

Jinggoy: Dad, manganganak na po misis ko. (Dad my wife is about to give birth)
Erap: Dali tumawag ka ng ambulansya at dalhin natin sa Jollibee (Hurry, call for an ambulance and bring her to Jollibee)
Jingoy: dad bakit po sa Jollibbe (dad, why at Jollibee?)
Erap: May free delivery doon (There is free delivery over there)

—-

US Doctor: Mr. President, you have a brain tumor.
Erap: hahahahaha
US Doctor: Why are you laughing?
Erap: I’m laughing because in the Philippines I have no brain but here, I have 2 more!

—-

Erap gets really mad when he sees the next sign :”JFK LEFT”. “See?” he scolds his driver. “We’re so late even the airport left already”.