moved to my new domain Beauty over 50
I regret being unable to join my good friend Noemi Dado on this extremely happy occasion. She and her husband are the best kind of friends any writer can ask for. She can agree to disagree and can find the whole path where neither integrity nor civility ends up being compromised.
I don’t know how Noemi gets her energy but it is amazing. So is her level of achievement. She takes teasing with aplomb and finds ways to do more and more without sacrificing family or friendship.
This Momblogger is a walking typing talking institution. Long may she remain so. Read her, learn from her, debate with her: enjoy her work as she enjoys learning and sharing with the world.
It has been ten years since my beloved Luijoe was taken away too soon. The positive resolution of my grief reached its peak just this year as we established closure with our past, never forgetting the love and memories of our son. The pain will always be a part of me because grief is the price we pay for love.
It surprised me one day when Vee Press , the digital publishing division of Vibal Foundation approached me if they could convert the grief category of my blog in to an ebook. I agreed only because this is not just about my story. It is a story of love, hope and the courage to let life go on. It was not easy re-writing the blog entries and the past events. Vibal Foundation hired Triccie Cantero, a free-lance editor to check on my entries. I was appalled at all the grammatical errors in the first two years of my blog. It discouraged me to continue on but I thought this was my way of giving back the blessings in my life. I am full of gratitude. It was the thought of giving hope to those who have lost someone that encouraged me to finish it on time before the launch. It was also difficult because tears would fall as I recalled some incidents in the past. (oh yes tears, a proof of love and that love lives on.)
Don’t we just love family meals together? It’s the perfect time and place to reconnect and to show my girls that they are our priority. Sitting across the table is where and when I find out more about my children’s likes, dislikes, and daily life. Now that they are adults, it is the place where I discover their career plans or frustrations at work. It is actually the family conversations that are important  they are one of the few times parents can find out what their children are up to (and vice versa). As my daughters’ social lives get even busier, it becomes a challenge to get the family to sit down. During these special meals, I make it a point that I dish up something new on the dinner table.
Happy family meals together are long-time tradition that is timeless.
Carlos Celdran is flamboyant to the extreme, a one man show of history, criticism, and trivia, the most entertaining ticket in town. ~ Lonely Planet ~
IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK!
Indeed, I never knew these walls could talk so much by the way Carlos Celdran brought these walls to life in his most popular tour, “If these walls could talk”. I was never that interested in History but today changed all that. It is my daughter’s 23rd birthday today and she wanted to celebrate it by learning more of Old Manila by way of a walking tour. I sent an SMS to Carlos that M will be joining this tour and he told me to join. I have joined one of his walking tours in Escolta, Quiapo and just Old Manila and enjoyed his unique historical perspective. I was not prepared for this tour though because we were having a lunch celebration nearby and I was dressed in sun dress with heels. Good thing I always bring my hat.
I thought the walking tour might be a good time to revisit Old Manila and its past glory and reflect upon its state. This is not your ordinary walking tour, mind you. Carlos makes you crave for more stories as he delivers a hilarious, irreverent educational historical walking tour of the walled city of Intramuros. My ex-boyfriend (now husband) and I were fascinated with Manila that we often dated here back in the early 80’s and admire the Renaissance-inspired architecture.
Photo from Jane Uymatiao. Me and Assistant Cultural Affairs, Joe Tordella with Jay de Jesus on far left and Juned Sonido at the center.
The government inviting bloggers is slowly catching on. The Singapore Tourism Board brought me to their Singapore Food Festival 2009 and also Singapore Food Festival 2010. Our own Philippines’ Department of Tourism invited a few bloggers to the Black Eyed Peas Concert and Meet Apl de Ap in Singapore. It was a matter of time that the embassies in the Philippines would invite bloggers to their reception or events.
The Embassy of the United States in Manila is not far behind. Jay de Jesus, the Emerging Media Specialist for Public Affairs of the US Embassy recommended a few bloggers to a reception hosted by Counselor for Public Affairs, Richard W. Nelson to welcome their new and current Cultural Affairs Attache, Alan R. Holst, and Assistant Cultural Affairs Attache, Joseph Tordella.
There are times I find my husband too gooey and sweet for words. For many years, I always thought that he just wants to flatter me. I won’t bother placing the cute nicknames and code words we give each other in this blog. Our daughters have been brought into it also especially when we use a phrase that makes sense only to the four of us.
They say these sweet-nothings pave the way to a playful, resilient, and satisfying relationship with each other. I thought it was crazy when he deliberately mispronounced my name that I followed suit a few years after we got married. One study on couples’ “insider language” published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that the more goofy nicknames, made-up terms a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be. So all those lovey-dovey words uttered on my ears are healthy for a relationship, huh?
“Using nicknames and made-up language is an easy way to inject positive communication into everyday life,” Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., a New York City relationship therapist. says. In fact, it’s probably the single easiest thing you can do to keep your romance going strong.
Our secret language remains a secret.
A weekend trip to Kota Kinabalu just before the hostage crisis was an opportunity to be just by ourselves without our adult children admonishing us for PDA. You can really tell your kids are adults when they start to lecture you on proper behavior.
Anyway, thanks to those seat sales, and for only 1,250 pesos for the plane fare , Butch and I spent 3 days and 3 nights in Kota Kinabalu. The sight of lush green cover on the mountains and exotic flowers seemed a wonderful respite from the city jungle. I keep telling Butch that we needed a vacation, just the two of us. August was the preferred month to travel, fearing another Ondoy would strike our home. It is not easy to leave home after Ondoy flooded my home when I left for Singapore . Butch felt the same fear but I said we have to let go because the weather is never predictable. I left word to my daughters to drive the cars to their dad’s office for safety, which is just nearby in case the flood water rose on one side of the street.
So there we were in Kota Kinabalu, just the two of us, our first vacation in a place with no relatives or friends, without the kids tagging along. Just the two of us uttering our pet names and secrets codes that build a connection between us.
Do you use cute nicknames and code words to your significant other?
Slideshow of Photos
““Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all.” Bill Clinton
Did you know that the Philippines has the highest incidence of depression in Southeast Asia? In 2004, there were over 4.5 million cases of depression reported in the Philippines.
Jeanne Goulbourn shares her wisdom on depression.
““Depression is a condition that knows no social class; it could strike anyone regardless of intelligence, educational attainment and financial standing.”
This wisdom she has learned in the midst of pain brought about by the sudden and untimely demise of her well-loved daughter, Natasha, who suffered from depression. As she grieved over her daughter’s passing, Jeanne said she asked God what losing her daughter meant, and prayed for a sign. The sight of over 100 dolphins convinced her she had a higher calling to help people with depression.
“I prayed that if I see five dolphins, Natasha might be in hell. If I see 10 dolphins, could she be in purgatory? But God, if you show me a lot of dolphins, more than 10, I know my daughter is with you. We saw about 108 in Puerto Galera,” she recalled, saying the sight was so rare it even brought the boatman to tears.
Like Jeanne, we know our grief will always be a part of our life and we eventually find ways to resolve it. She and a group of friends from various sectors formed the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF) five years after the death of Natasha. Its primary advocacy is to promote awareness on depression.
Not many know what depression is. I have written about suicide prevention and mental health before just to raise awareness. I don’t claim to be an expert on mental health. It’s just that in the course of my grief work at the Compassionate Friends Philippines, I’ve come across a few observations of these mental health issues.
1. Shame often prevents a person from seeking medical help because of this stigma towards mental illness. And even if they ask for help, the gravity of their problem is minimized as mere despair. Oh yes, I know of one death by suicide from a friend because of this reason alone.
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak. Whispers the oe’r
fraught heart and bids it break. ~William Shakespeare
Picking up the pieces
As we as a nation try to salvage what bit of dignity of we can still salvage on the failed operation of the police, the failure of the government of Noynoy Aquino and the wanton disregard of some irresponsible members of the media for the safety of the hostages, we should also examine how we as Filipinos dealt with the situation and conducted ourselves. Yes, the incompetence of the police, corruption and government and perhaps the arrogant demeanor of some media outfits are so routine to us that we’ve accepted them as a fact of life and part and parcel of being Filipino but at the end of the day, we must not allow these so-called realities cloud our ability to feel compassion – and more importantly to show this feeling of sadness and grief outwardly to those who are really hurting.
And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
Butch turned 51 years old today. He is two years younger than me. As in all birthdays in my family, I celebrate it with food. The more we praise and celebrate life, the more there is in life to celebrate. This time around, I feel bad for waking up late and not preparing a special menu as I used to do in the past before my life became so busy. I love that he did not complain though. He even bought his own birthday cake for lunch. It makes me think that birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake. (kidding!)
We spent the afternoon at the resting place of our beloved son watching the pretty blue dragonflies hovering nearby as well as the white-speckled butterfly that fluttered by the flowers on the basket. Just watching the wonders of nature was enough joy.
Earlier, I bought bright orange and pink flowers to brighten our living and dining room. I added a pale violet orchid plant to add the final touch on my antique writing table. He loved the flower arrangement and I hope that made up for my laziness today.