Even if we don’t live in Australia, giving money is probably the best thing you can do to help.

The casualties from massive bush fire in Australia is staggering. Let me start off with the appeal of my friend who is now based in Australia. David Ryan in his Facebook post narrates how “the entire country is burning. The closest fires are about 1-2 hours from us and our fire season would have just started. The fires have burnt over 1,000 homes just in my home state of New South Wales, people are dead and some are fighting to survive, half a billion animals burned alive including 8,000 koalas. We are in the middle of the worst bushfires in Australia’s history, and the largest peacetime evacuation the country has ever seen. It has burned over 5 million hectares- about the size of the country of Costa Rica.”

“Experts fear the devastating Australian wildfires have killed up to a BILLION animals.” Australia needs your help now.

There are two ways to help:

  1. Donation – If you want to know how to help, please check these links below provided by Ryan. Make sure your donations are getting where they need to go. Find out how to avoid bushfire charity scams: https://www.accc.gov.au/update/bushfires-and-scams .

ANIMAL WELFARE:
https://www.fnpw.org.au/

RFS (NSW):
Donate- https://www.rfs.nsw.gov.au/volun…/support-your-local-brigade

CFA (Vic):
Donate- https://www.cfa.vic.gov.au/about/supporting-cfa

Volunteer- https://www.cfa.vic.gov.au/volunteer-careers/volunteers

TFS (Tas):
Donate- https://tvfba.org.au/community/tfs-support-fund/
(Supports firies and their families)

QFES (QLD):
Donate- https://givit.worldsecuresystems.com/donate-funds
(Select Queensland Fires 2019 from the drop down menu)

CFS (SA):
Donate- https://cfsfoundation.org.au/donate

Volunteer- https://www.cfs.sa.gov.au/site/volunteer.jsp

Animal Welfare Donation:

Australia-wide:
Rescue Collective- https://mkc.org.au/donations/trcqld

WWF-
https://www.wwf.org.au/get-involved/bushfire-emergency

The Bushfire Foundation- http://animalrelief.gofundraise.com.au

NSW:
RSPCA- https://www.rspcansw.org.au/bushfire-appeal/

Wires- https://www.wires.org.au/donate/emergency-fund

Tas:
Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary and Rescue- https://www.bonorong.com.au/donate

Koala Rescue- https://www.koalarescueqld.org/donate.html

SA:
SAVEM- https://www.savem.org.au/about-savem/donate

There are several photos of injured kangaroos and koalas being saved by Australians. It is heartbreaking to see photos of charred remains of these beautiful animals at the roadside in Batlow. I want to remember them alive and well. And we all can help.

I remember my visits in 2011. Australia continues to work hard to make sure the Tasmanian devil does not follow the loss of the Tasmanian tiger, last seen in 1936. I have been to two animal sanctuaries in Australia but the Bonorong Wildlife sanctuary gave me the opportunity to be up close with the animals. Even if we don’t live in Australia, giving money is probably the best thing you can do. An Australian website explains that “it allows charities to help people affected by fires, or the people themselves, to have the flexibility to use the money in whatever way they need”.

2. Continue to pressure your government that Climate Change is real. Ryan concludes his post with the need for a ” declaration of climate emergency and to take steps in climate change mitigation.” What we need is climate action. CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL.

Let’s continue to keep putting pressure on our government to act on climate change through attending protests and writing letters. The 1 Million Women movement in Australia provided a letter writing guide  which “might help you with this – you could use the Australian fires as an example, as well as examples of how climate change is affecting you where you live.”

Public outrage this past week focused on the decision of the Philippine Science High School (PSHS) on six of its students “in possession of ‘voyeuristic’ images of PSHS female students which had been uploaded and shared online without the victims’ consent.” Parents, teachers, students and concerned citizens protested against the Board of Trustees’ initial decision to allow all six students to attend the graduation ceremony, even after two school committees recommended against it. The PSHS board reversed its decision a few days later, by not allowing the six students involved in the controversy to march at the graduation rites on May 29. Three students would receive their diplomas, while three would only get certificates of completion of the six-year program.

I recall a similar indignation in 2012 when five high school students from St. Theresa’s College (STC) Cebu, were prohibited from joining their graduation rites. Five students involved in the controversy uploaded photos on Facebook showing them in bikinis and with alcohol and cigarettes. They could not take part in the baccalaureate Mass and the graduation rites that would have capped their high school lives. The school based the sanction imposed on the students on the provisions in the STC Handbook. One rule stipulates that students should not be “posing and uploading pictures on the internet that entail ample body exposure.” Having studied in STC Cebu, I am aware of how strict the school could be. The vagueness of “ample body exposure” leaves the interpretation up to whoever is looking at the pictures. This allows school authorities such a broad latitude and allows for arbitrariness, the subject of controversy. The students also said they “were deeply hurt and cried” after being scolded by the officials whom they accused of humiliating them with abusive language, calling them “easy, drunks and addicts.”

Two years later, the Supreme Court Third Division denied a petition for the issuance of a writ of habeas data filed by parents of two of the five sanctioned students. In resolving the case, high court also reminded social networking users to be cautious and aware of the risks they expose themselves to when they engage in cyberspace activities. “Information, otherwise private, voluntarily surrendered by them could be opened, read or copied by third parties who may or may not be allowed access to such,” the Supreme Court added.Advertisements

These two incidents are similar in the sense that both involved students violating the schools’ student’s code of conduct. But the PSHS issue is different since it could involve a violation of Republic Act 9995 Anti-Photo and Video Voyeurism Act of 2009 or the “Anti-Photo and Video……” if the victims file a case. My friend, Michelle Estor raised a question: “What does is it say about us as parents, as decision makers, and as a society, when young women who are judged as immoral for the clothes they wear and for their foolish decisions suffer the exact same punishment as these sexual predators, who not only betrayed the trust of friends, but who actually committed crimes and violated laws? if not for the relentless vigilance of the students, the parents, and the alumni, these predators would have been marching now in the same hall where their victims would have cowered in unjustified shame.”

The STC Cebu girls in 2012 didn’t stand a chance.

What I find disappointing is the statement of PSHS. The PSHS Board urged the media and the public “to respect the privacy and maintain the dignity of our scholars and not aggravate the issue further, which unnecessarily puts those children’s future at risk.”

Sorry, PSHS Board of Trustees, “Sexual misconduct and harassment are not private issues, they are problems that everyone faces,” Betty Romero, my other friend, called out.  For every sexual predator, a mother, father, friend, school or a community enabled, tolerated or allowed them to go unpunished. While the names of the students should remain private, what happened at PSHS needs to become part of a national conversation. This is to ensure the future and safety of all young women and men, not just PSHS students.

The Board added that, “Everyone should move forward from this incident and provide the needed support to the students and the PSHS community.” The way to move forward is continuing the conversations, no matter how difficult it is. Education and awareness on the consequences to both girls and boys in such situations must continue. My friend adds that “there is a need to keep this topic alive until things change, until victim blaming stops, until young men realize that they should never share photos of the young women who trust them.”

(I first wrote divorce in the Philippines , seven years ago. This is updated in the light of the divorce bill being deliberated at the Plenary in the coming weeks)

divorce philippines

Believe it or not! The Philippines is now the only country without Divorce that has not legalized divorce. There is Vatican but it is not really a country.

In 2011, Gabriela refiled a controversial bill to legalize divorce in the country. Known as House Bill No. 1799 (An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines), which listed down five grounds for the filing of a petition for divorce. This year, a consolidated  bill  seeking to allow divorce in the Philippines has hurdled the House committee level and may be up for deliberation at the plenary in a week. The proposed  bill titled An Act Instituting Divorce and Absolute Dissolution of Marriage in the Philippines”, substituted House Bills 116, 1062, 2380 and 6027.

Spouses have the option to file for an absolute divorce, a legal separation, or annulment of marriage under the proposed bill. Section 3 paragraph 2 of the bill states that the government should assure that the divorce shall be inexpensive and its process, efficient.

The grounds for absolute divorce under Section 5 of the bill are limited to the following:

  1. Physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child or a child of the petitioner;
  2. Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation;
  3. Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child or child of petitioner to engage in prostitution;
  4. Imprisonment of respondent for more than six years, even if pardoned;
  5. Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism or chronic gambling on the part of respondent;
  6. Respondent’s homosexuality
  7. Bigamous marriage contracted by respondent
  8. Marital infidelity or perversion or having a child with another person other than spouse during marriage, except upon mutual agreement;
  9. Attempt against the life of the petitioner, common child or child of petitioner
  10. Abandonment by petitioner or by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year.

My stand on divorce

I am for divorce. Let me elaborate.

I wrote about annulment in the Philippines 12 years ago. The comments from readers exposed me to the sad reality of abusive spouses. I understood the reasons of failed marriages of close friends and relatives but it was only in my blog and through emails, that I understood the abusive relationships in some marriages. My heart reaches out to women crying out for help, one of which told me:

Being trapped for 18 years (1992-present) as single parent but status married, I hate our laws, as a woman, as a wife, having been abused. I was a battered wife for four years until i decided to run away for my life. My home is not safe anymore, my basic right to life was violated for four years (1988-1992) by someone supposed to protect me. Annulment law is a milking cow for lawyers, a law only for the elite, a privilege to those who can afford, a law for sale, another human rights violation. For those battered women who cant afford, the law shouts for you to wait for death, no escape, we are doomed.
Being battered and unprotected is one thing I hate being born Filipina. I was already scammed and I cannot even appeal cause 15 days has lapsed. Money cannot be made in 15 days for a single parent with two children whose education is priority. Decision notice did not even warn me I have to beat 15 days.

It is for this reason that the bill was filed, “for women in abusive marital relationships, the need for a divorce law is real. It is high time that we give Filipino couples, especially the women, this option,” said Gabriela Representatives Luzviminda Ilagan and Emerenciana De Jesus in the bill’s explanatory note.

An abusive relationship is one reason why I support the divorce bill.

The abuse can be verbal, physical or psychological. One in five women experienced some form of physical violence .

In 2013, the government’s National Statistics Office carried out its latest National Demographic and Health Survey. It found that one in five women aged between 15 and 49 had experienced some form of physical violence, and one in four emotional, physical, or sexual violence from their husbands. Of course, these statistics are most likely a fraction of what is actually happening, since only 30 percent of women said they sought assistance after suffering abuse, falling to just 4 percent when pregnant. But there does appear to be an upwards trend of reporting crime to the police; from 1997 to 2013, the number of cases of violence against women reported rose by more than 500 percent. Granted, these cut across economic status, but statistics continually show that the impacts of a failed marriage or a violent spouse, and the inability to properly separate from such a relationship, often fall harder on poorer women.

Do you think the spouse who inflict these abuse ever change? Most never do and the only way for abusive spouses to change is to undergo therapy.

A divorced mother from the USA told me that “the culture and values of a society have to change. There has to be equal respect and rights given to men and women. This has to be more important than “protecting the sanctity of marriage”. As fas as I am concerned, if a partner (man OR woman) abuses the other, THE SANCTITY OF THEIR MARRIAGE HAVE ALREADY BEEN VIOLATED.”

divorce philippines

Divorce Law is a start

If the divorce bill is passed, well and good but it does not stop there.

Instituting divorce law is a start. Changes need to start within the family system and our culture.

1. As parents, we teach our children not by words but with our actions. Abusive spouses will pass on their habits to their children when they witness physical, sexual, economic, verbal or psychological violence. As parents, our children have to know that Violence against women in any form is a crime.

2. Women have to change – they have to be brave enough to leave their husbands and make it in on their own, believe in their own strengths and ability to live and support themselves and their children.

3. Men have to change. If a man feels entitled to treat his wife and children as property or human beings who should be under his control, then he needs to be thrown in jail if he acts accordingly.

4. Most importantly, we all have to change, women trapped in these relationships are isolated – some physically, financially, socially, others just emotionally (that is why there are accomplished career women who are in these relationships).

*number 2-4 was shared to me by a divorced Filipino in the USA

Marriage will not be taken lightly if there is a divorce law. The law is there to help spouses trapped in abusive relationships and when the marriage is beyond repair. What happens if your child witness the abusive spouse hitting their parent? The child will believe it is alright to be stuck in a marriage where abuse is alright. The child in turn, will carry this on in their future relationships.

I believe my friend when she said that “the most important persons in this situation are the children. In any decision you make, always choose the one that is best for them.”

Voice out your opinions on the Divorce Bill.

The good news is this is the first time a Divorce Bill reaches House Plenary for deliberation.

If you feel that the divorce bill is important to you, show your support for it. If you are against it, then voice your opinion as well.  Think about the benefits and consequences carefully. Think about how you, someone you know, or even how your own children will be affected by the bill if it becomes law.

Click the thumbnails below

“An Act Providing for Absolute Divorce and Dissolution of Marriage” (Images via https://twitter.com/VinceNonatoINQ )

Photo: from localwin.com and “I can has divorce?” by Nick Schweitzer, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

What should you do during a random search by policemen without a warrant? Know your rights.

 

police random search

Photo by Shubert Ciencia. Some rights reserved.

“I can’t believe I have to sit my kids down and teach them how to protect themselves against people whose job is to protect others.”

“Who will police the police?”

These are anxious questions by mothers who are disturbed by policemen doing a bag search inside bars in the Katipunan area. Many of my friends’ kids study in the Katipunan area so I find such operations very alarming. Whether the “Oplan Bakal” operations were all done aboveboard, it is a violation of our privacy.

The question is how can our kids protect themselves?

How can parents educate their children?

Dino De Leon tells parents to “please orient your kids and check if you have an immediate contact with a lawyer.” The police are supposed to protect us but with the recent killings of kids, can the police really do its job in protecting our children? His friendly legal advice is “as a general rule, the police cannot just randomly search you without a search warrant.” So, If a police officer approaches you, check what you can do:

1. Be relaxed. Smile. Ask why you are being approached.

2. If they ask to touch you or inspect your belongings, politely decline and ask for legal basis/reason why they want to search your things or frisk you. Again, politely decline.

3. If they insist, politely and calmly demand for their names and identification. Send the names to your closest relatives ASAP if still practicable. Call your parents or closest kin ASAP and ask them to contact a lawyer as well as soon as possible.

4. Ask friends to take a video or personally record what’s happening if possible.

5. While everything is happening, as much as possible, stay with friends who can hear and/or see everything that is happening.

6. Remember the names and faces of the police officers as this may be important later on.

7. After the inspection and if your are not taken into custody, check the surroundings. Check if there’s a CCTV. Secure copies if need be. Check as well with security, if it is inside an establishment, if they were able to log-in the indentities of the police officers.

8. If you are taken into custody, demand to be able to make a call ASAP and tell those who are seeing what’s happening to call your parents/relatives/closest kin. Be vigilant and remember as much as possible where they are taking you. Do not antagonize them and remain calm.

9. Equally important, after everything, study the possibility of filing a case against the police officers afterwards if there are violations. This is crucial to put an end to these things.

10. For relatives called, immediately a) call a lawyer; b) find out where your kin has been taken; c) proceed to the location of your kin as soon as you find out where. Ask for a copy of the report of the arresting police officers and show to your lawyer ASAP. Secure the things mentioned in number 7 and the written accounts of witnesses.

Image via NGO Karapatan. Some rights reserved.

This right is found in our Philippine Constitution in Article III Section 2.

Section 2. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures of whatever nature and for any purpose shall be inviolable, and no search warrant or warrant of arrest shall issue except upon probable cause to be determined personally by the judge after examination under oath or affirmation of the complainant and the witnesses he may produce, and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized.

The government, especially the police, cannot search nor seize anything from you without a warrant subject only to some exemptions.

The advice given by a lawyer below as concurred by my husband-lawyer is useful advice in addition to that given by Dino.

police random search

police random search

All of us need to be vigilant.

Dino is right . “It’s time to take part in standing up for our rights. Let’s be courageous and collectively fight.”

 

 If you noticed, I have been tweeting a lot about ASEAN 2017 since January this year. This is my ASEAN story.

Social media lounge in Davao

Updated: April 23 , 2017

Everyone knows the Association of South East Asian Nations (ASEAN) when it comes to travel within the region. In fact I have traveled eight ASEAN member states except for Brunei and Myanmar.  I first got to know more about ASEAN when I got an email in 2011, to attend the 1st ASEAN Social Media Strategy Meeting in Jakarta.

Being there with other social media personalities in the ASEAN region was a learning experience. The sharing meant also an exchange of ideas that can be also replicated in my sphere of influence. What did I share? There is no secret to SOCIAL MEDIA except to listen, connect, share and engage and be passionate about the topics shared. The informal meeting also inspired me to consider writing more about the ASEAN instead of just concentrating about Philippine issues. The progress in ASEAN integration and the ongoing community building efforts is something that everyone should know. I gained a lot of basic understanding of what ASEAN meant as a region of opportunities.

Then 2013 came and I was once invited to a 2nd social media exchange in Bangkok and met my fellow ASEAN social media friends and other consultants.

Participants shared their knowledge and experiences with the ASEAN Secretariat to define possible strategies for ASEAN to engage citizen more effectively through the various Social Media platforms. The most important thing was to make the ASEAN brand , a people-oriented brand. I thought it was too associated with political topics that other benefits are not known to most ASEAN Citizens.  With the help of social media, a people-oriented ASEAN  can become a reality  as long as it opens up and listen to the citizenry.  The beauty of social media lies in the opportunity for citizens to get in touch with an organization that appears abstract to most of us at the present time.

Our participation in the 2011 and 2013 social media exchange  led to the ASEAN secretariat being more active on twitter and facebook. They even tied up with the organic ASEAN Community in facebook which is now known as the ASEAN Youth Organization (AYO).  I am impressed with this ASEAN community. Today, AYO has already registered as a legal body under Indonesian Law. There are 12 AYO Networks in all ASEAN Countries, plus Japan and Australia with more than 150 committee members in total. Their project tackle Youth Empowerment such as Training, Seminars and Workshop and collaboration with other Organization or Universities to do some projects.

And it is now 2017 .

And it is the Philippines turn to be the ASEAN chair. The Philippines’ ASEAN chairmanship coincides with a historic, milestone event– the 50th anniversary of the founding of our Association. It will be an occasion for us to set the tone for the next 50 years.

I am happy to be involved with the year long activities of the ASEAN 2017 summit as Senior Consultant for ALL Media Engagement under the PCOO led Committee on Media Affairs and Strategic Communications (CMASC),  ASEAN National Organizing Council (NOC).

Together with fellow bloggers, Sonnie Santos and Juned Sonido, we attended the launch and covered the event as well. The venue even had a social media lounge together with exhibits , the history of ASEAN and the six thematic priorities of the Philippines as ASEAN Chair.

I am thrilled to be part of history as the ASEAN celebrates its 50th year.   Like the President said in his keynote address : “This is a golden opportunity for all to work for an ASEAN that has taken its firm and secure place in the community of nations: An ASEAN that has its own significant role in effecting positive change for our world.”

It is also my first time to see President Duterte now that he is the President. In his speech, it is reiterated that for an ASEAN citizen, the ASEAN community must provide opportunities for a truly better life.

This is a life that has broken the bonds of dependence and ignorance. This is a life that has given opportunities for self-improvement. This is a life that is provided by a society transformed and reformed.

ASEAN needs to make itself understandable with its messaging especially on how benefits can be derived .

“Now, more than ever, it is ASEAN’s spirit of community that will enable us to overcome challenges that we face as a region.” – President Duterte keynote speech during the kick-off rites of the ASEAN 2017 .

I have written before that there are potential benefits in a life of a secure environment, a better living standard , better job prospects, sufficient income and stable prices, a better education to our children, effective help in case of disaster and emergencies and the freedom to travel , work and settle.

I am very excited with the work ahead, to increase and enhance the awareness for ASEAN and the core message of the ASEAN 2017 summit. Expect me to talk more about ASEAN this year.  So far, I have attended school tours and roadshows all over the Philippines.

Asean information kiosks in Boracay

Asean school tours in Iloilo City

Asean roadshow in Cebu

Asean socio cultural summit in Iloilo

Asean roadshow in Cebu

Asean social media lounge in Pampanga

I hope you can all join me as we both explore the benefits and challenges not only for us, Filipinos but for the ASEAN citizens as well. Use the hashtag #ASEAN2017 for our conversations on twitter, facebook or on instagram . Share your ASEAN story whether it is about travel, food, friendships, and photography or How has ASEAN helped my life and use #MyAseanStory along with the #ASEAN2017 hashtag.

Read my other articles on ASEAN:

“This is our future” – the school children at the ASEAN School Tour

Opportunities and challenges of women in the ASEAN

10 opportunities and benefits for the citizens in ASEAN

Opportunities for your children in the ASEAN

Sharing my social media experience at the 1st ASEAN Social Media Strategy Meeting

The Philippines as ASEAN Chair: Six thematic priorities

The ASEAN community 2025 vision: What is in it for me?

ASEAN, a region of opportunities for the citizens 

mommybook
Books open a whole new world of knowledge, stories, ideas, and advices that can enlighten you, make you laugh, give you a moral boost, inspire you, or introduce you to a different outlook. Here are some recommended books for moms and moms-to-be.

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch – The Canadian picture book Love You Forever started as a song according to the author. It was published in 1986.

“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”

Munsch made up the short song after he and his wife had stillborn babies. The song was meant as a tribute to their babies who died at birth. The song lingered in his head but it was too painful to sing. For a long time, it was just a song but one fateful day, while Munsch was sharing stories at a big theater at the University of Guelph, he was inspired to create a story around the song. The thought later materialized into the book Love You Forever. Kids were the initial target audience of the book but to the surprise of the author, it became a hit among adults as well.

The heartfelt story is a chronicle of the experiences of a mother and her young son. It describes the little boy’s annoying behavior in his youth. Despite her son’s troublesome behavior, the mother never fails to visit the boy in his bedroom to cradle him in her arms and sing him a short lullaby. The nightly display of affection is constant a reminder of how much the mom loves her son.

The boy eventually reaches adulthood and leaves home to start a life of his own. Sometimes, the mother would sneak into her son’s old room to sing the same lullaby as she longed for his presence.

As time passes, the mother grows old and weak. When the son visits his sick mother for the last time, he sings his own version of the lullaby as a tribute the unconditional love that his mom gave him all through his life. He promises to love her forever.

When the son goes home, he takes his newborn daughter in his arms and sings to her the same lullaby that his mother used to sing to him. The legacy of love goes on.

Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster W. Cline, Jim Fay, Eugene H. Peterson -This parenting book helps parents prepare their children for the real world by shaping them into self-confident and motivated individuals.

The authors enlighten parents about the importance of teaching their children a sense of responsibility to help them have a good chance of a bright future. The book stresses the significance of instilling good values through easy and positive steps. Parenting With Love and Logic explains that it is possible to bring up and nurture children without the need for “anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles.”

Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, the Bad, and the Scary by Jill Smokler – This New York Times bestselling collection features original essays that reveal positive and negative thoughts and deeds of parenting. The book offers the readers a glimpse of the reality of parenting, both good and bad sides. It shares stories and confessions that most mothers would find very difficult to admit.

“If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?”

“I end up doing my son’s wrong, but so much easier.”

“I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.”

“I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.”

The Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood by Vicki Iovine – New moms step into the world of motherhood with a mountain of questions, worries and fears. The author deals with the common mommy queries and doubts. Iovine gives a hilarious twist to parenting. She offers straight to the point advice and funny observations.

“Baby euphoria”: Is it a mind-altering drug?

“Husband? What Husband?”: Taking care of the big baby, as well as the little baby

“I Want My Old Body Back!”: What you can fix and what you can’t

“The Droning Phenomenon”: The inability to discuss anything but your baby for more than thirty seconds

“Do I Have to Become Carol Brady?”: Conquering your fear of being a less-than-perfect mother

“Competitive Mothering”: Coping with know-it-alls, finger-pointers, and others who try to “Out-Mom” you

Calm Mama, Happy Baby: The Simple, Intuitive Way to Tame Tears, Improve Sleep, and Help Your Family Thrive by Derek O’Neill, Jennifer Waldburger – It is normal for every parent of a newborn to feel overwhelmed by the reality of taking care and nurturing a baby. Parents especially moms may feel nervous about fulfilling the responsibilities of parenthood. It’s quite challenging to get into a schedule with your baby. The daily challenges of feedings, sleeping schedules and diaper changes can be exhausting. It’s not a surprise that many parents feel stressed with all these duties.

The book opens the eyes of parents to the “cause and effect between parents’ mental and emotional states and their baby’s mood and behavior.” According to the authors, the parents’ emotional state may directly affect their baby. For instance, parents who are calm and centered are likely to have calm children.

Clutterfree with Kids by Joshua Becker – Having children is a big blessing in life. They bring love, joy, laughter, energy, and meaning to every home. Despite all these positive things, you can’t deny that children also add clutter. Don’t worry, this little parenting downside has simple solutions. Clutterfree with Kids focuses on how parents can set a balance in their lives and manage clutter by sharing fresh insights.

The book shares both inspirational stories and practical solutions. It encourages parents to reflect on their lives, try new habits and techniques, and eventually embrace positive changes to make their home clutter-free.

The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell – Communication between parents and children has a big impact on kids’ attitude and behavior development.

Children have different ways of expressing themselves.Sometimes children may desperately seek attention while other times they act as if you are not there. There are moments when kids display affection but there are times when they don’t seem to care.

A child’s behavior is greatly influenced by their relationship with their parents.
The authors believe that there are five different communication styles and children may use any of the style to express themselves. The book helps parents build fulfilling relationships with their children by “teaching them to speak each others’ love language.”

 

Photo collage by author.
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by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco, as originally posted at the Philippine Online Chronicles

Rachel Yapchiongco, also known as Rach to her friends, is a Psychology and Marketing Management graduate of De La Salle University. She took up MBA at the same university. Rachel is a full-time mom to a charming young boy and married to an entrepreneur with a passion for cooking. She shares parenting experiences and slices of everyday life on her personal blog called Heart of Rachel.

Written by Edel Cayetano as originally posted on How to survive during an earthquake

“Pray for Nepal.” The world weeps with the Himalayan Nation which was hit by a 7.8-magnitude earthquake last Saturday.

“Pray for Nepal.” The world weeps with the Himalayan Nation which was hit by a 7.8-magnitude earthquake last Saturday.

This is a question that we ought to ask ourselves now more than ever, as news about a powerful earthquake that devastated Nepal broke last Saturday. Considered to be the Nepal’s deadliest disaster in more than 80 years, the 7.8-magnitude quake has already claimed more than 5,000 lives, with the grim figures likely to worsen as hopes of rescuing remaining survivors go thinner by the hour, according to CNN. To date, eight million people have been affected across the Himalayan nation, with one million children urgently in need of help.

The country has expressed its support for quake-hit Nepal. Meanwhile, we cannot deny that such a horrifying disaster can impact any country with or without warning – even the Philippines.

With that being said, here are basic survival tips that you can do before, during and after an earthquake from sources all over the web.

What to do before an earthquake

The best time to prepare for a disaster is now. Equip yourself with the necessary information that you would need in case an earthquake strikes. At home, make sure you have a fire extinguisher, a first aid kit, a battery-powered radio, a flashlight and extra batteries placed in an accessible spot that everyone is aware of. You may also stash food and water for emergencies, as you may need to fend for yourself for at least three days up to a week after an earthquake.

Study first aid, learn how to turn off the gas, water and electricity, and avoid leaving heavy objects on shelves. Anchor heavy furniture, cabinets and appliances to the walls or floor. Devise a plan and know where to meet your family after an earthquake. It would also be a good idea to conduct in-home practice drills.

What to do during an earthquake: drop, cover and hold

Students drop, hold on and take cover during an earthquake drill.

Students drop, hold on and take cover during an earthquake drill.

The first thing to remember is to STAY CALM, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. If you’re indoors, stay inside. If you’re outdoors, stay outside. Do not run to another place or room during shaking, as it increases your chances of injury.

Rescuers and experts recommend drop, cover and hold on, as it gives you the best overall chance of quickly protecting yourself during an earthquake… even as the shaking causes furniture to move about rooms and the buildings might ultimately collapse.

  1. Immediately DROP down onto your hands and knees before the quake knocks you down. This position protects you from falling but still allows you to move if necessary.
  2. Take COVER under the shelter of a sturdy table or desk and protect your head and neck (and your entire body if possible). If no shelter is nearby, get down and stay close to an interior wall or next to low-lying furniture that won’t crush you, and cover your head and neck with your arms and hands.
  3. HOLD on to your shelter (or to your head and neck) until the shaking stops. Be ready to move with your shelter if the shaking shifts around.

Remember to protect yourself wherever you are, especially from falling and flying objects. According to studies on injuries and deaths caused by earthquakes, you are much more likely to be injured from falling or flying objects than to die in a collapsed building. “Drop, cover and hold on” will protect you from most of these injuries.

There are also other things you can do to reduce your chances of being hurt, even while an earthquake is happening.

  • If possible within the first few seconds before shaking intensifies, quickly move away from breakable objects and large furniture that could fall. Watch out for falling objects and cabinets with doors that could swing open.
  • Look out and grab something to shield your head and face from falling debris and broken glass.
  • If you are in the kitchen, quickly turn off the stove and take cover at the first sign of shaking.
  • If you are in bed, hold on and stay there, protecting your head with a pillow. You are less likely to get injured staying where you are, since the floor could be full of broken glass and other sharp objects.

You also need to be wary of having a false sense of safety from your past experiences in earthquakes, says the Earthquake Country Alliance. If in a past experience you didn’t do anything, or you ran outside yet you survived with no injuries, or you got under your desk and others thought you overreacted, don’t be complacent.

The Earthquake Country Alliance explains, “you likely have never experienced the kind of strong earthquake shaking that is possible in much larger earthquakes, where sudden and intense back and forth motions of several feet per second will cause the floor or the ground to jerk sideways out from under you, and every unsecured object around you could topple, fall, or become airborne, potentially causing serious injury.” This is the reason why you must instinctively and immediately protect yourself after the first jolt, and not wait to see if the shaking will get stronger.

If you’re driving when the earthquake strikes, move the car out of traffic and stop.

If you’re driving when the earthquake strikes, move the car out of traffic and stop.

But what if you’re outdoors? Stay in the open away from power lines or building that might fall on you. If you’re driving, move the car out of traffic and stop. Avoid parking under or on bridges and overpasses.

If you’re in a mountainous area, beware of potential landslides. Likewise, if you’re in the beach, take to a higher ground as tsunamis may hit the ground after an earthquake.

What to do after an earthquake

  • Check yourself and other for injuries and apply first aid if needed.
  • Check water, gas and electric lines for damage. If any are damaged, shut off the valves. Check for the smell of gas. If you smell it, open all the windows and doors, leave immediately and report it to the authorities.
  • Listen to the radio for valuable information or instructions and refrain from using the phone except for emergencies.
  • Stay out of damaged buildings and be careful around broken glass and debris. Wear boots or sturdy shoes to protect your feet from injury.
  • Be ready for aftershocks.

 

*”Pray for Nepal” by Pictoscribe, “Students practice earthquake drill” by Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade, ”Earthquake damage – bridge street” by Martin Luff courtesy of Flickr. All used under CC license.

By Lakwatserang Paruparo as originally posted on Blog Watch, Philippine Online Chronicles

They chose to become policemen.
They strived to be the best they can be.
They didn’t really want to be heroes.
They just wanted to do the job they loved to do.
And that job is to defend the country and their countrymen.

They lived by their core values of Service, Integrity and Excellence and their motto is “By skill and virtue, we triumph.”

But life can really be cruel sometimes. Despite the intensive training they got for being an elite group known as “The Philippine National Police Special Action Force” or “PNP-SAF,” it is unfortunate that the bullets that killed them knew no training to recognize them. Instead, the ones who pulled the trigger on them were the ones highly trained to recognize them as the enemy.

And so they fell.

Image from @MisterBanatero. Some rights reserved

Image from @MisterBanatero. Some rights reserved

Forty four brave young men fell doing their duty to their motherland. They fell on an unfortunate day, a Sunday. They fell on a day when people were mostly worshipping and praying for peace. They even fell on the birth anniversary of the late President Corazon C. Aquino on January 25. Incidentally, on January 29, 1991, or 24 years ago, she signed Republic Act 6975 and with it, the PC-SAF became the PNP-SAF. The objective of the said Act was the need to reshuffle and revamp every government agency to facilitate the transition of the government from Dictatorship to Democracy.

Those who have seen the photographs of the Fallen 44 on television cannot help but feel a tinge of sadness as if they know them personally. There is an invisible thread that somehow linked the country to them and their loved ones, a link that understood the grief, never mind the reason for their deaths. I watched and felt sad. As a mother, I couldn’t imagine what their own grieving mothers are feeling right now. I could only reach out in prayer that their souls journey and rest in blissful peace after their bodies have been brutally massacred.

President Benigno Simeon Aquino III, son of the late President Cory, declared January 30, 2015 a “Day of Mourning” for these brave and fearless officers of the Special Action Force.

As in the days of Typhoon Yolanda, or the early days of the Pork Barrel and DAP controversies, or even the recent papal visit, nothing divides our country more than opinions relating to the words and actions of the President. I know he cannot please everyone: there will always be dissenters, bashers and critics and there will also be the perennially jaundiced followers and apologists but amidst all these, surely, there’s the right thing to be done at the right time and the right place. It’s not giving in to popular demand or riding the tide of a politically correct decision. It is simply being human and humane devoid of political trappings.

Prior to the “Day of Mourning” were days of waiting and expecting, and eventually, bashing and defending not just in social media but in mainstream media as well. #NasaanAngPangulo trended worldwide more than “TruthfortheFallen44” or “SAF44.” Former Presidents and former Generals joined in the fray as the President, his concerned cabinet members and the officers involved in the cover operation were catapulted into the limelight of notoriety once more. Suddenly, everyone had an opinion. Suddenly, everyone wanted to be heard. Suddenly, the war turned to a word war that burned in cyberspace.

That wouldn’t have been the case had the President did what he should have done as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Philippines and as a human being. The Head of the Roman Catholic Church, the charismatic Pope Francis just barely stepped out of our country leaving a trail of hope and faith amidst chaos and despair when everyone was suddenly jolted back to reality. The least that the Filipinos wanted to hear from the President during his televised address of the nation last January 28 was an honest-to-goodness admission of accountability instead of a “tour’ of his mind with its intricate and oftentimes misplaced logic that perfectly screamed “evasion!” What’s wrong with saying “I am responsible” the way sacked PNP Chief Supt. Getulio Napeñas stated? What’s wrong with saying “I am sorry” for the botched covert operations? Does he need the blood of 44 more men to write that down?

Then came the day when the 44 bodies in metal caskets arrived at Villamor Air Base where the #Fallen 44 was given the appropriate honors. After the much-criticized speech, the President could have redeemed himself by being present at the ceremonies. Voila! He wasn’t! Instead, he chose to grace the previously scheduled inauguration of the Mitsubishi plant in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. It’s in times like this when I think having a wife would’ve been beneficial to him because a woman’s wisdom sometimes can save a man’s ass. And I wonder, who in the world advised him to put a car above a soldier’s dignity, and never mind going to the arrival of the bodies because he will lead the necrological services anyway?

And people continue to ask, where is his mercy and compassion? If the Pope himself expressed his desire to be with the Yolanda victims as soon as he heard about the disaster in Leyte, and if he insisted on flying to Tacloban amidst a Signal No. 2 typhoon, why couldn’t the President personally condole with the bereaved loved ones and be at the arrival of the slain SAF officers? Why, oh, why?

Image by Paolo Arevalo. Some rights reserved.

Image by Paolo Arevalo. Some rights reserved.

Being there for someone in times of loss is more than enough comfort. It means a lot to have someone like the President of the country to be there to show he truly cares, that he has a heart for those fallen soldiers who he called heroes. Never mind if he doesn’t admit that he gave the marching orders and sent those men to their graves. There is no need for words, a strong presence is more than enough to show his big heart, if he really has one.

People of the Philippines: “Sir, where were you when your presence was needed most?”

President: “I don’t think I was ever asked that question. At the same token, parang it’s a rhetorical question, ‘di ba?”

People of the Philippines: Was that to much to ask, Mr. President?

Mismo!

Farewell #Fallen44

Pope Francis for the poor
Will there be a renewal of faith among the Catholics? Since there have been conflicts with the church like the Reproductive Health law (RH Law) , I see renewed hope in Pope Francis’ visit. This pope, my pope has liberal views. I am reminded of his words “As long as the problems of the poor are not radically resolved by rejecting the absolute autonomy of markets and financial speculation and by attacking the structural causes of inequality, no solution will be found for the world’s problems or, for that matter, to any problems”.

Pope Francis arrival1

Pope Francis reiterates that ” the center of my message will be the poor”.  He might just be able to opens the hearts and minds of our Church officials since the RH Law is meant to help the poor make better choices. It is also good that he is close to Cardinal Tagle. Maybe his influence will be felt in the church hierarchy in the Philippines . A lot of our church officials are conservative and Filipinos are hopeful for a more progressive Catholic Church.

watching pope francis

I was not at the motorcade but I feel just as blessed to watch him on live stream. Using the live stream link from the government TV station, I followed his every move from the time his papal cap flew away till his arrival at the Apostolic Nunciature. Pope Francis must be getting his energy from the cheering crowd. He smiled , leaned forward and looked like he was enjoying himself. His smile is pleasant and authentic . Smiling with his eyes, he looks into the person he is smiling to.  It felt like Jesus Christ spoke to me through his smile, even if I am just watching from my laptop. He says “The Holy Spirit will have to work to touch all the hearts of these people that we see.” I believe the Holy Spirit must be working through his smile. It is not only me that noticed his pleasant smile. I read  numerous tweets  that gushed over his beautiful smile.

Pope Francis thumbs up

Gary Valenciano tweets, “Blessed by seeing smiling happy Filipinos showing so much love and gratitude to Pope Francis. I hope we’ve put a smile in his heart too”.

Ginger Conejero notes “Pope Francis’s smile is contagious.”

Mia Noreen added “Pope Francis’ smile is probably the best thing I’ve seen so far this year #goosebumps”.

Sharla Lacbayan ?can’t “explain how grateful I am for being a Catholic. Welcome to the Philippines, Pope Francis! I can see your smile on the tv!”

Julie Mae says “That genuine smile of pope francis is love”.

Jewel notes says “May kakaiba sa smile ni Pope Francis, na-mapapasmile ka nalang din”

Ella Drew calls it “the Divine Smile of Pope Francis”.

pope francis smiling

Even a non-Catholic like Zarlean Centino had this to tweet “I’m not Catholic pero I like the attitude of Pope Francis and his smile”.

That is why I think Pope Francis always asks the people to pray for him. He gets energy from the people around him. It works both ways. His smile is just contagious.

RJ Villaflor thinks so, too. “Yung smile ni Pope Francis nakakahawa, mapapangiti ka na rin pag nakita mo yung mga ngiti nya “.

Pope Francis smile

That smile from Pope Francis gives us strength and renewed hope. His smile is just so heartwarming. I  feel so happy and blessed with the presence of Pope Francis. May he continue to spread his message of mercy and compassion especially to our leaders so they will work for the poor of our country. I pray “renew our country, Lord. Rid us of selfish and corrupt leaders. Raise up only those who lead with pure hearts and wise minds. Amen.” May the cabinet secretaries , politicians and the President become blessed by the Pope’s simplicity . May he enlighten our conservative Church leaders.

Pope francis magnetic smile

I may not live by the rituals, the novenas and the rote praying but I feel that Pope Francis is an inspiration to a lot of cafeteria Catholics like myself to have faith. My daughter hopes “that Pope Francis’s visit inspires Filipinos to become more progressive, tolerant Catholics.” I am hopeful.

Photo via @rapplerdotcom . Other Photos by Robert Viñas/ Lauro Montellano Jr./Gil Nartea/ Malacañang Photo Bureau Some rights reserved.

Originally posted on “Charmed by the beautiful papal smile that brings the message of mercy & compassion“, Blogwatch, Philippine Online Chronicles.

By Toni Tui as originally posted on Waiting for Pope Francis, Philippine Online Chronicles

Pope Francis

Growing up Catholic liberated and stifled me at the same time. From prep to college, Sunday masses were regularly attended. The Holy Rosary was prayed often, especially during October. After graduation though, I began to question my faith. I didn’t see the point of going to Mass, especially when the homilies became too preachy about politics. I built a relationship with God outside the confines of a church, finding Him more in the quiet moments of a morning run or a midnight reflection. I felt guilty, feeling like I was being berated by the whispers of nuns and teachers from the all-girls Catholic school I attended for 12 years. My mother, a devout Catholic, also kept asking me why I didn’t go to Mass anymore. How could I explain to her that I felt more distant when I was in the midst of ceremony? That I found more joy in a quiet conversation with God than a community get-together? I felt like a bad Catholic, even though my relationship with God was becoming more solid.

Then Pope Francis came along.

Who is this rock star Pope?, I wondered. Social media was instrumental in building awareness and emotional affinity with this different kind of pope. Every week, there was a quotable quote in my news feed from this radical pope. Every week, I became more curious about him.

He’s the pope who refuses to live in luxury. No fancy cars or papal apartments for this man of God. We’ve read of him picking up the phone to call people, saying prayers for them. we see pictures of him riding the metro or walking down the streets and being welcomed by worshipers. He’s a Pope who doesn’t seem to be caged in an ivory tower. He’s reachable, simple, and friendly.

His words are big but relatable. When he met with his Vatican employees before Christmas, he had some reminders for them which may very well be reminders for our daily lives too. What touches me about these reminders is the simplicity in how it is said. There’s his reminder on how I feel talks about work-life balance: “Take care of your family life, giving your children and loved ones not just money, but most of all your time, attention and love.”

There’s the reminder that can hit any chismosa. “Be careful how you speak, purify your tongue of offensive words, vulgarity and worldly decadence.”

Are you unhappy with work? Reflect on this statement from Pope Francis and you may just have a change in outlook. ““Look after your work, doing it with enthusiasm, humility, competence, passion and with a spirit that knows how to thank the Lord.”

One statement I’ve reflected on is this: “Take care of your spiritual life, your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.” Feed your spirit. Nurture your soul. With this, all will be well.

Then there was this reminder from him for the youth during World Youth Day. ” I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes that you are incapable of responsibility, that you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage ‘to swim against the tide.’ Have the courage to be happy.” Take a risk on love!

This is the first Pope I’ve come to truly follow. Yes, he is the Pope. But I also see him, as some Filipinos have started calling him, as Lolo Kiko.

With him, I have been rediscovering my Catholic faith little by little. I have been trying to understand Mass and teachings with more openness this time. I am getting drawn back to the Church without the feeling of being stifled. Lolo Kiko has been gently provoking me to build my relationship with God again, this time with the community, but I don’t feel pressured. That’s what I like about this pace, this Pope. He’s a Pope with a gentle power, the Pope with the open arms you don’t feel shy running into because you know you’ll be blessed, no matter what kind of relationship you have with God. I can’t wait to welcome Lolo Kiko with the rest of the community this week! For the first time in my Catholic life, I am waiting for the Pope, my Pope. For the first time in growing up Catholic, I’m giddy about the Pope and learning more from him. Thank you, Lolo Kiko, for the gift of rediscovering my faith!

Photo Credit: Catholic Church (England and Wales) via Compfight cc