I am known as @momblogger in twitter. As one of the early adopters of any new thing that explodes online, I got hold of my monicker when twitter became popular in 2007.

twitter birthday today

Really, I had no idea about personal branding nor did I want to dominate a niche on mom bloggers. I simply wanted to be called “mom blogger” because I wanted the younger bloggers to stop calling me “ma’am”. @momblogger was simply more acceptable .

Well , I am a momblogger because I am a mom and a blogger at the same time. I am proud to be both. While this blog focused partly on parenting, more than half of my topics are about life in general or completely unrelated-to-parenting topics.

10 years have passed since I started this blog.  I blogged about my unspeakable grief because I lost my precious son on May 27, 2000. I wanted to offer hope. Through the years,  I evolved from writing on parenting , family life and grief recovery issues to being active and blogging for social good. That is aside from my tech , and food blogs.

Together with other bloggers, Blog Watch was born in 2009 in answer to a clamor in my mommy community that they wanted to know more about electoral issues. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever want to pursue the political scene. Just like any social media experiment, you never know what clicks or not in the internet.

Truly it is love of country that makes me passionate towards citizen media (blogwatch.ph and blogwatch.tv .) The thought entered me “What better way to leave a legacy to my children by making a difference in my own small way through blogging for social good” . It cannot be helped when feisty old me questions the laws, the public servants and even the issues that affect the community that I live in. I nurture both my family and community. I cannot isolate myself from the larger society. Dealing with politics is incidental. Sometimes when you want change, the best way to attain is to through political means. But politics is not an end in itself but merely a means to an end.

My feisty actions and strong opinions make me now controversial.

Am I really a mom blogger?

Boom…I am not really viewed as a mom blogger but as a political blogger. I look at myself as a citizen advocate NOT as a political blogger.

I guess I am in denial. Or not? A few years ago, I talked to a few influential blogger-friends over lunch who bluntly told me that when they think of me (momblogger), they think “political”. Some brands do not want to be associated with me (the personality behind the blog) because well, companies are capitalists in the first place. My controversial self might not be compatible to their corporate mission-vision.

It is quite disappointing to be told I am “controversial” but at the same time what good is it if I keep blogging mindlessly about brands day in and day out? or hold contests or give out freebies?

What value is in it for me? This blog will die . I will die one day. But in the meantime, I want to make my mark and impact for social good . I want to make a difference in the lives of my children, one blog post at a time…one tweet at a time.  I want to do something other than blog about brands or being a brand advocate.

I do admit writing about shallow or lighter articles on my new blog “A Woman on Prime Time” which deals on taking care of myself using spa services, anti-aging products and services. Loving myself is important because when love overflows I am able to help others.

Let us look at the mom bloggers in the United States:

The average mommy blogger is 37 years old and 89% of mommy bloggers have kids between the ages of 2 and 11. They’re also socially conscious and are 85% more likely to have supported a politician based on an environmental issue, 88% more likely to buy eco-friendly products and 38% more likely to volunteer than the average mom.

And Candace Lindemann of Mamanista suggests

It is important to remember that before a lot of  “mom bloggers”  were moms and bloggers, they wore other hats, too. They have expertise in marketing, journalism, education, medicine, law, science, etc¦ labels have the power to empower and build community.

By that definition, I am a mom blogger.

mom bloggers —socially conscious

Indeed I may not be the average mom blogger in terms of age. I am 58 years old with two adult children. But see, I have earned wisdom through the years as a mother to three beautiful children. I am socially conscious and speak up on it.

But are the average mom bloggers in the USA considered “political bloggers”?

I am not the only mom blogger in the Philippines who is socially conscious or most likely to volunteer in charity work. Moms react differently on specific issues but we all have a common concern : our children’s futures unite us. There are the breast-feeding advocates and mothers concerned with the environment or Reproductive Health.

Is “being controversial” the price I will pay in making a stand on issues that may give positive gains on the future of my children’s children and the Philippines?

My focus as a citizen advocate allows me to bring out underplayed stories, fight for women and family issues which are close to my heart. That is who I am. It makes me happy to be of help to others and at the same time it allows me to leave my digital footprints behind.

Controversial or not, I choose to lead a purposeful and vibrant life as this blog turns 10 years old, tomorrow, February 24, 2016.

You have always heard me say over and over again that we cannot control people’s actions, attitudes and even events. The only thing we can control is our attitude. But it isn’t that easy. One of the choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think and using our mental energy in a positive way. Positive thinking can be extremely difficult in stressful situations. Positive thinking does not mean thinking in an unrealistic matter or reverting to denial. If I don’t like something, I respect my own opinion. If a problem hits me, I am honest about it. If something isn’t working out, I accept reality. I don’t have to dwell on the negative portions of my experience.

One way to empower the good is through affirmations which are just simple positive statements.

1. I’m glad I have a loving husband

26thanniversary1I am blessed with a loving husband who thinks the world of me, who showers me with hugs, a massage, kisses in the most random of situations. Every day without fail, he affirms his love for me. Despite his quirks, his goodness glows more. We are in a loving and healthy relationship as we continue to rediscover each other every day. It’s like falling in love over and over again. And as Lauren takes this photo of us, I note the twinkle in our eyes that show the depth of our undying love. What more can I ask?

2. My life is good.

me and daughters1I am a cool mom to two lovely and independent-minded girls (and a son who is forever 6 years old in my heart). My life is not perfect but it is good enough because others have it worse. Other families I know lost their spouse and all their children. Even if I know my life is good, I try to help others cope with their loss in any way I can.

3. I love myself.

me at hotelI love myself enough NOT to allow people (even my own family) to control me or keep me from caring for myself. I take time to take care of myself. I pamper myself weekly at the beauty salon, take daily workouts at the gym, chill with friends, shop for trendy clothes , meditate in my Zen room or just zone out in front of the TV.

4. What I want and need is coming to me…

me10I don’t need all the material wealth in the world yet I seek financial independence in my old age. I am blessed with an online and offline business that is fun, profitable and not too stressful. I help others in my own quiet, anonymous way without having to toot my horns. God will be the judge of that.

5. I’m glad I ‘m alive today.

me thumbnail at IMMAPFive deaths in my immediate family have struck me the past years. Whatever words or insults have been hurled at me is nothing compared to the pain of losing my loved ones. I have had it worse so I know I can hurdle current challenges. Think about it. Life is short. This place we live in is only a temporary place. I look forward to eternal life in heaven and be reunited with my son, my mom, my dad, and my 2 brothers (Reuben and Oscar) Meanwhile, I will continue working on my online and offline advocacies to make life worth living in this temporary place.

So when you think the world is against you, just say this:

Today, I will empower the good in myself, others and life. I’m willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positve ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good

If you still have difficulty, contact me and maybe we can meet up for coffee.

The rules of parents are all but three. Love, Limit and Let them be. – Elaine M. Ward

Cradle-of-Love-by-kolongi

“For the hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world” is such a memorable quote that I took to heart the day I cradled my beautiful baby in my arms. The concept that your child becomes in their life starts with what they learn from their moms bore quite a big responsibility. As much as I want to give them the best in life, things are never perfect, you see.

Right after Luijoe, my beloved son, died in 2000, I survived many days in auto-pilot mode, moving about our lovely home like a zombie. My child was not supposed to die before me. Nothing could ever have prepared me for the devastating loss of my son. Looking at my two lovely daughters, I knew that I had to go through this pain and be strong enough for them to be there as their mother. The two girls seemed to go through their life with school and their friends, but I can never tell for sure. Their grades improved significantly right after my son’s death, perhaps trying to make us happy.

Showing my pain as a normal process of grief and isolation is not the healthy way to grieve. Marital strain and stress in the family became more evident. I could not reach out to my husband in pain because there were days when I was my own ball of pain. I became borderline obese, with high blood pressure, clogged arteries and diabetes. With our family life in shambles, an idea dawned on me one day in November 2004. Was it Luijoe showing me the light? I felt the urge to bring our life in order. I started fixing my personal issues, exercised and lost significant weight. With a healthier body, the fog that clouded my mind cleared up. I reached out to my husband and family and became more open with my feelings. My children witnessed my transformation to a new, positive person and loving mother because of the actions I took to save myself.

My daughters learned of the language of resiliency from the actions I embarked on this new life. Resiliency begins with how parents personally handle adversity. Examples of adversity is not limited to just death. It can be about losing a job, being diagnosed with a serious illness, recovering from a failed relationship, maintaining balance between work and family life, and dealing with difficult people.

Let’s face it. As much as we want to protect our children from difficulty, we simply cannot. Resiliency is the number one skill they need to learn. What can we do to help prepare our children for the road ahead? In the book, ““Raising Resilient Children,” Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein define resilience as ““embracing the ability of a child to deal more effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity, and trauma, to develop clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to relate comfortably with others, and to treat oneself and others with respect..”

The fact that they saw their mother hurdle a crisis is a valuable lesson learned. Aside from being a positive role model to my children, I taught them other powerful thinking tools to equip them to face adversity:

1.Tell them there is always a choice

I often tell my children that there is a choice about what to do, how to respond and how to feel. It is alright to feel sadness and be honest about one’s feelings.

2. Teach gratitude

I allow my children to express their fears and disappointment but at the end of the day, I ask them ““can you count your blessings?” Teach them to find the good in every situation. I tell them to appreciate what they have and focus on it rather than obsess on what they do not have.

3. Teach them to master a skill

I allowed my kids to develop their talent in music and writing. Mastering a skill generates positive feedback for their achievements and hard work. These motivate them to keep moving forward despite the challenges.

Blessed is the child who learns to respond instead of react, to choose positivity instead of misery, and to solve problems instead of remaining stuck when faced with life’s most important decisions. Parents play a significant role in the development of resilience in their children. The hand that rocks the cradle may not rule the world, but it certainly makes it a better place, at least for our children.

Photo credit

We were once a family of seven siblings. With the death of my mom in 1976, my brother in 1990, another brother in 1999 and my father in 2003, only five siblings are left. Four sisters and one brother. Three of them are now living outside the Philippines while my younger sister lives in Manila. Before 2010, reunions centered upon the burying of the dead or visiting a dying family member. The pain of losing yet another family member was just difficult to take photos of ourselves. The sisters had more time to be together compared to my brother who was still in medical school. We did try to make the best of these rare times by doing something together.

Taken in 1972 by Robles Studio. Our one and only formal family picture.

Taken in 1972 by Robles Studio. Our one and only formal family picture.

It started in 1996. My sisters went home for a visit but had only less than two days. Hmm, why not a photo shoot to make use of our time? We trooped to Headshots in Robinsons’ Galleria. The studio had its own makeup artist. With four sisters, it took us nearly a day to finish. All of us were in our forties, with me being the heaviest of the sisters. We had this brilliant idea to document ourselves every six to eight years.

1996 photo shoot by Headshots

1996 photo shoot by Headshots (in our 30’s)

The next photo shoot was in 2004, a year after our beloved dad passed away after a long illness. We are now in our forties. Headshots studio moved to Greenhills Shopping Center. As you can see, I am still overweight , eight years after our first photo shoot in 1996. Once again, we visited a beauty salon to glamorize ourselves.

2004 photo by Headshots

2004 photo by Headshots (in our 40s)

In 2010, all of us decided to meet up up in San Francisco in support of Myrna, running for a council seat in a city in California. What better time to reunite during happier times. This time, our brother joined us. For our sibling reunion, we did our own make-up and hair and trooped to Sears Studio in Concord. Alicia, our photographer, was so good with us. This is just one of the shots she took. This time around, I lost 40 pounds.

2010 Photo by Sears studio in CA. Three girls in their 50s except for the youngest

2010 Photo by Sears studio in Concord, CA. Three girls in their 50s except for the youngest

This is the first formal shot we have as five siblings. Alicia commented that, perhaps, the four sisters had tormented David in his childhood — and all the sisters replied, “It was David torturing us!” Hahaha!

2010 photo by Sears studio. Our brother , David joined us for the first time.

2010 photo by Sears studio. Our brother , David joined us for the first time.

Reunions are never planned. It just so happened there was a wedding in the family, the first in the family. It was a reason to come home. Oh my, I will never forget this day. After the wedding reception, we frolicked in the garden as our photographer encouraged us to do some whacky poses.

2016 photo by Widengrens Creative Media .

2016 photo by Widengrens Creative Media . We are now all in our 50s.

We are having a blast! All of us are in our fifties , grinning like our dad . I know my dad lives in each one of us because of our wide smiles which we got from him.

Yes, our next photo shoot will be when most of us are in our 60s. Maybe in Cebu, our hometown.

2016 Photo by Widengrens Creative Media

2016 Photo by Widengrens Creative Media. We are now all in our 50s.

It doesn’t seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we’ve traveled…we are still the same. Even though our parents and two brothers are not with us, I am sure they are laughing along with us everytime we are together, laughing and just having fun.

Watch the Photo slideshow:

By: Joseph Romana as originally posted at Philippine Online Chronicles

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.” – Vince Lombardi

“Age wrinkles the body, quitting wrinkles the soul.” – General Douglas MacArthur

“Pain is temporary.  Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong

quit

These and many other similar-minded quotes have brainwashed our generation, and probably the next ones, into a mentality of unnecessary stubbornness.  It’s like, stubbornness = wisdom.

I beg to disagree.  So does Seth Godin who wrote:  “Winners quit all the time.  They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”

QUITTERS WIN TOO

“One day, I promised God that if He would give me my voice back, I would never smoke again.  I got 3 octaves back after quitting.” – Mariah Carey

This is one example of why quitters also win and stubborn people can also lose.  True winners are neither exclusive quitters nor exclusive non-quitters.  Winners make wise decisions, whether quitting or persisting.  They know when to quit and when not to quit.

WHEN NOT TO QUIT

In the quintessential book on the art of quitting successfully called The Dip, Seth Godin identifies the conditions where quitting is beneficial for winning.  He calls these situations, well, dips.

Dips are that parts of our journeys that is a long slog between starting and mastery.  It can actually be a shortcut according to Godin because it can get us where we want to go at a faster clip than any other path.  What do we mean by this?  Let’s look at an example.

Personal finance management may be defined as ensuring all our current and future needs are met.  A big chunk of this includes saving money for investing.  Now, many people are excited when they first save money or take on an insurance policy.  It’s exciting because it’s probably their first major financial decision and it makes them feel like they’re already independent from their parents and they can strike it out on their own.  Ah, yes.  The initial euphoria.

But then after a year or two into the insurance policy payments, they start spending more for gimmicks, travel and gadgets.  Factor inflation into the mix and you have a situation where the monthly premium payments start to become burdens or hindrances to “good times”.  The euphoria has obviously faded and before you know it, what was once considered a joy has become a drudgery.  It is at this stage many young people quit.  This is the dip.

The dip is that temporary plateau that results in a breakthrough afterwards.  After the drudgery, the policy has accumulated so much that the dividends alone start paying for the rest of the premiums due.  Because the young person persisted, he achieved a breakthrough.  In this case, not quitting was the wise thing to do for success.

WHEN TO QUIT

Quitting is the required course of action when we are in a situation that is obviously going nowhere and is a waste of time, especially if there are potentially more productive or rewarding alternatives.  Staying and persisting in a hopeless situation is not wisdom.  Take for example, health.

I know someone who was, to say it in a more politically correct term, very obese.   He ate everything he wanted, as much as he wanted and when he wanted.  His exercise routine consisted purely of alternating biceps curls where he puts food on his mouth with the right hand and drinks from a glass using the left.  He was diagnosed with a serious health condition that required him to lose serious pounds.

Prior to this, he tried to lose weight but failed.  He couldn’t quit his lifestyle.  He persisted.  But after hearing that it posed a threat to his life and knowing it meant leaving his family soon, he got his act together and lost weight.  He quit early enough to win back his health.

Or how about a friend of mine who quit her job as a high-ranking executive even without a replacement job.  Why?  Because she knew that staying on the job was a dead end.  It was hopeless and no amount of persisting and hard work will make things better.  So she quit despite having no backup plan.  And because she quit, she was free to take on a better job offer that came along shortly thereafter.  My friend knew that persisting in her situation was futile and a losing strategy.  She won and got a much better paying job because she knew when to quit.

BOTTOMLINE

I’m not saying we should always quit to win.  I’m just saying we have to be very careful stereotyping people who quit as losers and stubborn people as winners.  It might rub off on us and cause us to stay around longer than we should in situations that are obviously not working out well and miss out on jumping on opportunities for success for fear of being labeled as “losers”.  Quitting in dead end situations is wise and staying and persisting in “dips” or temporarily challenging situations that have potential for great success is wise too.  The key really is to know which is a dead end and which is a dip.

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Photo: “I HOPE THIS DOESN’T MEAN THERE ARE NO MIRACLES LEFT…” by JOPHIELsmiles, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.

Every now and then, I get bombarded with text messages from wives asking for my advice on their marital woes. The thing is I am not a counselor and I can only speak for myself. The fact that the person on the other end is a stranger makes it difficult for me to reply back with any sort of friendly advice.

You know the most common text messages I receive are :

      1.

The Other Woman

      or suspicions of the latter because of questionable text messages caught in their husband’s cellphone.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

2. Tired of changing their husband’s dysfunctional habits or attitude.

It’s not that simple to say leave thy husband especially if one promised to love and honor till death do us part (except abusive behavior because I don’t believe a wife should be a punching bag). I can’t blame these women because I too was once caught in trying to save my husband from despair. Simply said, my life’s focus was on changing my husband instead of myself. Of course, I didn’t know better. I thought being a martyr was the way to go instead of being true to myself, the feisty and bitchy me.

Rather than focusing on my husband, I reinvented myself.

love yourself

Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships. And this is true for all kinds of relationships. We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we’re talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates or spouses. What do we do?

1. We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid but we don’t have to force ourselves through long-term or intimate relationships with these people.

2. We are free to choose friends, dates and spouses. We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can’t always choose to be around, such as relatives.

3. We can decide how much we want to spend our days and hours. We’re not enslaved. We’re not trapped. And not one of us is without options.

If you look over at my About Me Page, you will see the journey I’ve travelled and continue to take. I changed a significant portion of my routine and lifestyle. I lost weight, maintained a healthier lifestyle, initiated a grief advocacy, expanded my online business and started blogging. I focused on changing myself instead of my husband. The change encompassed a couple of years and which still evolves to this present day.

We may not see our options clearly. Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with.

If I had a way, I want to share this prayer that I often say to myself.

God, help me value my time and life.

Help me place value on how I feel being around certain people

Guide me as I learn to develop healthy, intimate, sharing relationships with people.

Help me give myself the freedom to experiment, explore and learn who I am and who I can be in my relationships.

We don’t have to be relationship martyrs. Love yourself first.

The end result is a loving and healthy relationship.

my husband and myself

How in love we both were ( and still are). Sinulog 1985 holds precious memories as that was the day Butch asked my dad for my hand in marriage. On that day, the two loves of my life finally got to talk for the first time. In all the 7 years that Butch and I were steadies, Dad never spoke a single word to Butch except “hi and bye”. That day, I finally asked Dad why he treated Butch that way . Dad’s two lame explanations were that he didn’t want Butch to be too familiar and secondly , he didn’t know how to talk to the boyfriend of his daughter. Oh well, that was cleared up that fateful Sinulog eve.

My then fiancee, now my husband of 30 years. Taken on the stage of Sinulog 1985 celebration

My then fiancee, now my husband of 30 years. Taken on the stage of Sinulog 1985 celebration

Born in Cebu, the Sinulog Festival was alien to me until I went home to Cebu on January 1985 for my “pamanhikan” (engagement). My dear father, was the overall organizer for the 1985 Sinulog Festivities. Sure I have seen old women dancing in front of the Santo Niño at the Basilica. You gave them money to dance and ask blessings from the Sto. Nino. In the Sinulog version, the dance moves two steps forward and one step backward to the sound of the drums.

Sinulog 2012

Sinulog 2012

As Sinulog nears, I remember my dad. After all, he suffered a stroke while promoting the Sinulog in California. In 2007,  I did a search for the origins of Sinulog, no word is mentioned of my dad, Jose P Lardizabal. One thing I have learned about my dad’s illness is that you know your friends at your worst times. One by one, dad’s friends forgot about him. Due to dad’s incoherent speech, he was often ignored and humiliated. I can’t blame them for the distance. There are a handful of friends who stayed behind who had compassion over a sick man. Inspite of his disability, my dad is a great man who lived a new life without his speech faculties. In my little corner of cyberspace, I want to remember dad.

sinulog 85 chairman jose lardizabal

Back in 2007, and with the help of my sister, Lorna who assisted dad during the Sinulog, I was able to piece something about dad’s last Sinulog as the overall organizer.

Dad was the chair for the Board of Judges committee — to judge the higantes and floats, starting 1981. I helped him find the judges and investigate their reputation and credibility. It is possible that the 1985 festival was the largest since it started but I do recall that even 1981 had already elbow-to-elbow crowds. I cannot remember the numbers. All I truly remember is that the 1985 model was a great organizational model.

The Sinulog Festival that started in 1980 was a modestly-managed event. David “Boy” Odilao had started this project as a competition among school-based dance troupes. 16-year old Shelley Ann Roper from Connecticut, USA, the Rotary Exchange student hosted by the Rotary Club of Cebu-West (and who was living with us in our Lahug home) who was a member of the Southwestern Dance Troupe, was acknowledged as the first American to dance in this first official celebration that had commercial appeal. Shelley certainly stood out : blonde hair, fair skin, dancing barefooted in Sinulog attire.(read more of Lorna’s comments below)

My sister graciously scanned the Sinulog 1985 souvenir program (see below). Sinulog 1985 as my dad predicted was the longest and most colorful Sinulog celebration in Cebu City since it started in 1981.

plaque of recognition to jose p lardizabal sinulog

It was a pleasant surprise that my dad received a posthumous award in ” grateful acknowledgment of his being one of the original incorporators of the Sinulog Foundation and of his wisdom and unwavering support in the institutionalization of the Sinulog Festival.”

A 2010 posthumous award given to my dad, Joe P. Lardizabal, who was one of the original Sinulog Foundation's board members (board of trustees). To the left is Ricky Ballesteros, Executive Director of the ExecCom, Sinulog 2016, and to the right is one of the original volunteers since 1981, Dolores Suzara, project director (festival director) of the Sinulog Foundation, Inc. My sister, Lorna Lardizabal-Dietz, received the award in behalf of my family

A 2010 posthumous award given to my dad, Joe P. Lardizabal, who was one of the original Sinulog Foundation’s board members (board of trustees). To the left is Ricky Ballesteros, Executive Director of the ExecCom, Sinulog 2016, and to the right is one of the original volunteers since 1981, Dolores Suzara, project director (festival director) of the Sinulog Foundation, Inc. My sister, Lorna Lardizabal-Dietz, received the award in behalf of my family

Ricky Ballesteros, Executive Director of the ExecCom, Sinulog 2016, informed my sister that he told the committee that these original board members (and other unsung heroes among the volunteers) needed to be recognized because if it wasn’t for their start-up efforts, resources, and sacrifices, the Sinulog Festival wouldn’t be what it is today.

Dad must be smiling .

smiling dad

Sinulog 1985 holds precious memories as that was the day Butch asked my dad for my hand in marriage. On that day, the two loves of my life finally got to talk for the first time. The glitters, the dances, the fancy trimmings and the pageantry are only expressions of how important Santo Niño is but for me Sinulog is a day filled with treasures of love .

Sinulog 1985 Cebu Souvenir Program, From Lorna Lardizabal Dietz’s Archives by Lorna Dietz

by Ma. Rachel Yapchiongco as originally posted at “Beat the post-holiday blues”,Here are some ways to combat post-holiday blues Philippine Online Chronicles

holiday-blues

The holidays are over … it’s time to face reality.  All the presents under the tree have been opened; holiday photos have been uploaded; no more gorging on delicious food except for a few leftovers; and no more Christmas get-togethers and parties to attend.

Students are back in school, employees have returned to work and business people have resumed operations.

It’s not a surprise that some people feel down after the holidays. Leaving all the merry activities behind to go back to the daily grind is not exactly a jump-for-joy mental picture.

Are you still longing for those cheerful and carefree days of socializing, shopping, gift giving, traveling, feasting, and spending time with people close to you? No matter how great a holiday is, there is always an end. Cherish those happy moments but don’t let them prevent you from returning to your usual routine. The more you mope about it, the more susceptible you are to stress. You don’t want to start the brand new year with negative feelings. Here are some ways to combat post-holiday blues.

Stay connected with people dear to you. Christmas season is an opportunity to spend quality time with people who mean most to you. When the holidays are over, don’t let distance or busy schedules hinder you from holding on to the bond that you renewed during the Christmas break.

Take advantage of today’s modern technology to stay connected. Keep in touch through phone calls, text messages and emails.

You don’t have to wait until Christmas to have another get together especially if you live in the same or nearby cities. Set up a quarterly get together or if possible, do it more frequently.

Start eating well again. Feeling sluggish? All those parties and potluck dinners may have taken their toll on your body. During the holidays, you may have been guilty of over indulging in fatty foods and sweet desserts. It’s time to bounce back after the holiday food coma.

Skipping meals and going on a drastic diet are not solutions. In fact, they may do more harm than good. The best game plan is to think of your next healthy meal and work your way up from there.

Avoid fatty and salty foods. Eat more vegetables and fruits. Say no to junk food and soda. Make sure that you choose lean meat and take it easy on the sauces and gravies. You don’t have to deprive yourself of dessert but lessen it.

Get back in shape. Have you suddenly noticed that your old pair of jeans doesn’t feel as comfortable as before? Do you have to struggle to button it on? Well, don’t be surprised if you gained weight after all that holiday binging. You’re not alone. A lot of people have weight issues after a long holiday.

Instead of regretting eating all that delicious food, why not begin the year with a new exercise routine or simply resume your daily fitness activities? Put on your walking shoes again, do yoga, hit the gym, or sway to the music and follow the moves of your Zumba instructor. You’re free to choose your form of exercise.

You probably have some holiday leftovers inside the refrigerator. Don’t waste all the effort of exercising by binging again. You often hear the line, “drink moderately”. If you want to lose that holiday weight, why not apply the saying to food as well?

Better yet, ask a friend to exercise with you. Plan a work out that you can do together. You can encourage one another to exercise as often as you can to get back to shape.

Give yourself time to ease back to your usual routine. Reality can be a little harsh after a period of relaxation and fun. When traveling, it is best to give yourself time to settle back when you arrive home. The body and mind need time and space to return to normal routine especially if it means resuming a hectic work schedule.

If you arrive at night and you are expected to report to work the next morning, your mind and body might find it hard to adjust within a short period. Give yourself at least one full day of rest before going back to work or facing chores.

You can also pamper yourself by getting a massage or having your nails done to ease the transition.

Cope with jet lag. Traveling overseas is fun and exciting but jet lag can be a bummer. Jet lag is a possible reason behind your post-holiday blues. Some symptoms include feeling sleepy during daytime, difficulty sleeping at night, lack of coordination, and loss of appetite.

A good way to deal with jet lag is by helping your body adjust to the local schedule. Medicine.net suggests that if you arrive at noon local time (but it’s early in the morning where you came from), resist the urge of having breakfast and proceed with lunch. Get a lot of sunshine during the day by going outdoors. According to experts, sunlight signals the hypothalamus to lower down the “production of sleep-inducing melatonin during the day,” which launches the course of resetting your internal clock. It is also advisable to do the same with children and infants. When traveling east, you lose time so try to keep the child awake until local bedtime. On the other hand, if you are traveling west, you gain time, so wake your child at the local time.

Listen to soothing music. Huffington Post suggests that music is capable of stimulating the senses and lifting your spirits. According to a neuroscientist named Daniel J. Levitin, “music enhances certain pathways in the brain that are essential to cognitive and emotional health.”

The de-stressing benefit of music reduces prevalence of stress and burnout. Listening to soothing tunes can become a simple wellness activity.

Dwell on the positive. It feels good to relive happy memories of your holiday. Focus on the positive by doing something creative such as starting a journal. It’s a brand new year and it’s a perfect opportunity to start one. You can also write thank you notes to people who made your holiday special. If you are artistically inclined, consider sketching or painting a favorite scene during your holiday as a keepsake worth cherishing.

 

 

Photo c/o Pixabay. Public domain.
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Rachel Yapchiongco, also known as Rach to her friends, is a Psychology and Marketing Management graduate of De La Salle University. Rachel is a mom to a charming boy and married to an entrepreneur who has a passion for cooking. She shares parenting experiences and slices of everyday life on her personal blog called Heart of Rachel.

Exactly a year ago, I wrote 10,000 steps to wealth. My goal then was to reach 10,000 steps a day. After all , “it is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver”. The entire Step Diet premise is simple: Walk 10,000 steps a day and trim your portions by a quarter and you will lose weight, simple as that. Move more, eat a little less.

I was only using the “Pacer” iOS app to track my steps. While I was at the gym, I discovered my 30 minutes workout at the treadmill was 3,599 steps. I never attained the 10,000 daily average steps. I learned 10,000 steps a day was too much for me. Though the body is willing to walk more, I experience pain on my toes after walking an hour or so.

On November 6, I decided to buy a Fitbit surge for an accurate measure of my fitness goals. I bought my fitbit from a local supplier found in facebook. My friend who owned a fitbit flex, lost 10 pounds just by walking 10,000-15,000 steps a day. That’s so inspiring. Though I learned of Fitbit a few years back, I thought it was expensive.  But health is wealth and I decided to invest in the more pricey Fitbit Surge.  Unlike my friend,  I did not aim to walk that much. I can easily reduce my calorie intake coupled with a goal of 7,500 steps. Counting steps and number of calories motivates me.

fitbit surge

My goal was to lose 10 pounds. I decided to lower my goal to 7,500 steps and 1,300 calorie intake because it was reachable.  Those are my minimum goals but I can always aim higher. At the gym, my fitbit measured only 3,000 steps for a 30 minute treadmill exercise. Walking around the house takes around 2,000 steps. I took extra steps walking inside the gym and the mall. I don’t have a conducive walking environment in the neighborhood because of stray dogs littering the streets. But this did not deter me from looking for ways to walk.

fitness goal

The UP Academic oval is such a beautiful place to walk. I can imagine the oxygen I breathe in. All these lovely trees brings so much positive vibes. I can only go here during the weekends because there is just so much traffic during the weekdays.

UP academic oval

There have been four instances that I reached 10,000 steps a day but I met my goal of at least 7,500 steps a day. And the result? I didn’t expect to lose weight in less than two months. Well, I have lost seven pounds. The fat from my belly is  slowly disappearing.  I guess I am happy that I only have three pounds more to go, but no, I  want to lose nine more pounds. Those nine more pounds are vanity goals. The last fats to go will always be my flabby arms. There also is a friends’ option where you can see their progress. Of course you want to look good in front of your fitbit “friends.”

I face many challenges while walking. There is still that toe pain after walking 10,000 steps. I feel breathless sometimes. Though my angiogram in September showed insignificant clogging, I am taking it easy. I don’t run or walk too fast. I take aspirin before I walk. At times , my blood sugar level becomes too low that I feel dizzy and get blurred vision. I bring candy with me all the time. I may need to see my endocrinologist to adjust my diabetes medication.

ten thousand steps goal

My fitness goal for 2016  is to reach an average of 8,000-9,000 steps a day. Walking gives me a happy feeling that I look forward to. When I need additional steps and can’t walk outside for some reason , I turn on the video, Jane Fonda: Walking Cardio Workout : Level 1. I know some of you will laugh “JANE FONDA”. She is a role model for prime time women like myself. When I was 23 years old , I followed her exercises and lost 20 pounds back then. I love her. If you want to start increasing your steps, this article “How Many Steps Per Day to Lose Weight?” is a good start.

Anyway, I should stop writing now and work my way to 8,000 steps to wealth. Health is wealth after all. Do you agree?

Let’s try something different on New Year’s eve.

Written by Jose Francisco Cruz as originally posted Media noche, the Filipino, and the six-course meal  via the Philippine Online Chronicles.

After over-indulging on Christmas noche buena with with lechon, ham, lengua, mechado, embutido and other festive dishes that can trigger convulsions of the most pleasurable kind, let’s try something different on New Year’s eve.

noche-buena-3

What I have in mind is a six course meal prepared with the least effort but still ending up as something memorable and will win raves.

What is a six-course meal? It is a meal with six phases. Think of a slightly complex song, or a novel, or the stages of pregnancy while riding the MRT.

First comes the appetizers o,r commonly, the piece of bread with pate or whatever it is that you’d like to put on it for a spread, that’s not overly sweet. Then the salad, leafy green salad, with dressing. Then the soup, followed by two main courses. The last would be dessert, of course– ice cream, hot cocoa or cake.

First off, even before the appetizers, serve lots and lots of wine. Classic red wine, and chardonnay.

For salad, you ought to have some nuts with the veggies. Imported nuts are nice, but I’d rather use kasuy or the classic adobong mani. Then some yoghurt. I go with flavored yoghurt, and to complement the flavor of that youghurt, we put in (but not too much) an apple, or some strawberries. The reason for this is to counter the bitterness of the herbs we will include, like basil, or if you’re using some blue cheese (better to use Parmigiano-Regiano, or what they call Parmesan, but keso de bola will do nicely, or any crumbly kind of cheese). Let’s not forget the bitterness of the French dressing.

The French dressing, according to Chef Jamie, is three parts olive oil and one part acid, which could be lemon, or blueberry juice, or vinega. Add some Dijon mustard, shake well, and you have the French dressing. I added applesauce into the salad dressing to temper the bitterness.

Use coconut meat graters, or vegetable skin peelers to play with the cucumbers and carrots, so they come out in thin, wide strips, and not the usual O shapes. Operative word: Spatial. Of course, lots of lettuce, and some parsley. Use a lampin cloth for ‘centrifuging’ out the water from the vegetables. Then drizzle the dressing. Add some crunchy bacon bits too.

A Filipino version of a vegetable salad could be the seaweed in vinegar (replacing the vinaigrette in salads), and tomato slices of Cebu.

The Spanish like filleted fresh anchovies, fried for a few minutes; but a more Filipino approach would be fresh anchovies cooked in vinegar with chopped garlic, ginger, and onions – or what we call kilawin. And since we’re discussing the Spanish, how about sinangkutsang (stir-fried) prawns for tapas, eh? Just check if the prawns are fresh, with the eyes spherical, and the heads firmly attached, and you won’t be shamed. Did I mention to pour some wine? Ok. Good.

Stir-frying prawns takes about five minutes. Frying filleted anchovies, five minutes as well. You can buy them at the grocer’s, pre-prepared..

The soup. If I were to cook a soup that would be worthy of the New Year, it would be bulalo. It is beef shank, with the marrow oozing out like food for the gods.

Use plain white Chinaware. They go well with the Christmas season, as well as provide contrast to any color dish that you will put in front of your guests.
Remember, be generous with the wine.

Beef takes a while to cook, upwards of two hours to boil the meat to tenderness, but you can fire up the stove before preparing the appetizers and salad.

Now we go to the main course. It could be any two of these: fish, chicken, pork, or beef. We are after quick meals here, so the best way to go about it would be grilling.

For milkfish, slice onions, garlic, tomatoes, and place them inside the bangus milkfish belly as filling. Stitch that up, or just cover with tinfoil, candy style. Grill in scorching hot embers for 15 minutes, approximately, and you’re done. You could also roast salmon in the oven with some olive oil, lemon juice, salt in 15 minutes. Serve with some parsley.

The pork also can be set aside overnight in a marinade of soy sauce, vinegar, a bit of salt, pepper, a bit of soda, and garlic. The grilling will be from 8-15 minutes. This can even be done by the guests, just assist them so they don’t burn the outside, with the inside still uncooked. Use a toothpick to check if meat from the inside still clings to it. That means it’s not yet cooked. This tip goes for roasting as well. Serve scorching hot, and don’t forget the wine.

Grilling of meats is usually done in 15 minutes.

The chicken can be roasted. Most would use whole chickens and stuffing and hurling them into the oven. That would take too long. Use instead drumsticks with hips attached, one for every guest. You can cook these in half the time it takes a whole chicken to roast. The plus is everybody will have an equal area of crunchy chicken skin. Yum!

Throw in some small potatoes, with the skin on, a few garlic cloves, and halved onions.

Cooking temp. Unfortunately, temperature, yes, even temperature is relative. What will be 1.5 hours at 200 degrees Celsius for me, might be quicker for you. I guess it has to do with the type of oven. The newer ones tend to be of a size not unlike microwave ovens. I got a cool tip from Rachel Allen. She roasts the chicken for half of the time it takes to cook, and only then does she add the rub, with a little bit of olive oil. This way, you don’t burn the rub, and you baste the chicken as well. The rub can be salt + pepper + ginger + thyme. For beef, add rosemary. If you’ve got fresh herbs, the better. Premium groceries have fresh herbs from Tagaytay.

Gravy. The stuff of legend. The secrets of which many would be willing to kill for. Yummy magazine delivers in their gravy recipe. About two tablespoons of drippings (olive oil used in the roasting plus the meat oil, and garlic and onions), you heat in a saucepan, then dissolve a bit of flour in water, and pour that bit by bit onto the saucepan with the drippings, whisking as you do so. A bit of salt and pepper, and voila! Gravy pa lang, ulam na! We love gravy.

The beef can be roasted, as well as the pork. But it takes too long, at 200 degrees Celsius. The pork belly can be turned into lechon, but for the skin to turn into crackling, you’d either have to turn on the flame on top of the oven (for grilling) for an hour, or shock it with boiling cooking oil after cooking.

With the beef, there’s a very thin line between undercooking or overcooking it to the consistency of freightliner-wheel interior rubber. If you’re insistent, use foil for two hours while roasting pork or beef. All the action happens in the last hour after you remove the foil. Just be on your toes.

I would much rather go with frying T-bone steaks. Season with salt and pepper. Put in two tablespoons of cooking oil before the butter, so the butter doesn’t burn. One-inch thick steaks can be cooked in 3-5 minutes. This will be like fried prawns. When the color turns from red to brown, and the blood has oozed out, then it’s cooked. Two inches and above in thickness, and do as the chefs say – 7 minutes in a flat pan without oil, turning over after every minute.

For dessert, mango float, and other no-bake cakes will do nicely, saving you more time. Muffins, after preparation, take only 35 minutes to bake. The banana muffins are classics. The same goes for cookies. Rhum bundt cake takes an hour to prepare, and 45 minutes to bake.

Bibingka, puto-bumbong, and other rice cakes you can easily procure near the Catholic churches.

What if you have balikbayans hankering for Pinoy dishes? The tip here is to stick as close to the original Filipino recipe as possible if you plan on serving everyday dishes for your Media Noche. Watch cooking shows, and you will notice that the chefs are able to cook sumptuous dishes very quickly because they keep things simple.

So how much time does it take for a six-course Medyo Noche?

Shopping time – 1 hour, preferably in the morning

French green salad – 1 hour
Stir-fried prawns – 5 minutes
Bulalo soup – 2 hours

Main course options
Grilled milkfish, large – 15 minutes prep; 15 minutes grilling
Pork barbecue – 12 hours marinating (the longer the better), 15 mins grilling
Roast chicken thighs – 1.5 hours
Pan-grilled T-bone steak – 10 minutes

Banana muffins – prep 45 minutes, baking 35 minutes
Hot tablea cocoa – 30 minutes

Thus, a total of about 8 hours, 6 if you skip the roast chicken.

This, to me, is a delicious way to start the year right.

Photo from: www.lakadpilipinas.com