Each wedding anniversary that my husband and I face every year deserves to be celebrated in any memorable way.
Every celebration symbolizes our annual renewal of our vows to each other —
“to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part”
windswept hair atop one of the rolling hills in Racuh A Payaman also known as Marlboro country
So when Andrea invited me to a media tour of the chartered flights from Batanes Cultural Travel Agency (BCTA) I couldn’t say no. When SEAIR invited me in 2008, I kept putting Batanes on hold for some reason. This time , I had a reason to say “YES Batanes, I want to celebrate our love there”… but asked Andres if I could pay for my husband’s fare just so we could celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary in Batanes. Good thing she allowed me to bring Butch along.
Mount Carmel Chapel in Tukon modeled after the traditional Ivatan stone houses.
Spending our 27th wedding anniversary in romantic Batanes is one gift we gave to ourselves. Being close to such a beautiful and peaceful place gave us the time to reflect and be thankful for all the blessings in our life. If you know us personally, you will know that our married life was filled with drama for most of our 27 years. It is only recently (perhaps 2005) that we reaffirmed our commitment to each other. Like many marriages perhaps, it was a rough journey.. but then as my friend , Bernie reminds me “marriage is always a work in progress and that is what keeps it going.”
I can’t begin to describe Batanes. You will have to discover the beauty yourself. I will write more about Batanes in separate articles. Enjoy just some photos that show the happiness in our faces as we discovered the landscape of Batanes which is unique from other Philippine provinces due to the steep cliffs, rolling hills, deep canyons and boulder-lined shores.
The photo before this was taken by our tour guide so it doesn’t show the beauty of the chapel.
“To love another person is to see the face of God.” Les Miserables
On the ceilings are different municipal saints of Batanes painted by Ivatan artists trained at the Pacita Abad Center for the Arts.
“Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.”
hedgerows “liveng” serve as boundaries of plantation / agricultural crops and boundary of ownership.
The difficulty with married life is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
home studio of artist Pacita Abad is now a boutique hotel is the most luxurious accommodation on Batanes Island
“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to your loved one.”
Vayang Rolling Hills
Side by side – Year by year.
The boulder beach with lots of large stones came from a volcanic eruption from Mt. Iraya in 400 AD.
“A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”
Basco Lighthouse alomg the lush green hills and the open sea provide a beautiful backdrop for the lighthouse.
““A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” Paul Sweeney
Butch taking a photo of me
Close up view though pixelated
“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. : – Mark Twain
Chawa View Deck, Mahatao
“For you wake one day, look around and say, somebody wonderful married me”. Fred Ebb
Enjoying the view at Chawa Cliffs
“Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.”- Chinese Proverb
Still at Cliffs of Chawa
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret”. Henry Youngman
“Love is not blind – It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less.” Will Moss
View of Racuh A Payaman is spectacular. Watch the video below for the sound of the wind
“Marriage is a partnership in which each inspire the other, and brings fruition to both of you.” Millicent Carey McIntosh
Mahatao Church which is a National Cultural Treasure.
“There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage”. Martin Luther
writing the story of our love in Book 505. “MayWang A Libro Du Vatan” (Batanes Blank Book archive) a grant from the Asian Public Intellectuals Fellowship, The Nippon Foundation
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years”. Simone Signoret
Book 505 from the Batanes Blank book archive. When we return to Batanes, we continue our love story and write it down in Book 505.
Are we not like two volumes of single book ?
“The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage, but to bring more love and truth into the world.”
If you have not been there..trust me when I say everywhere in Batanes is picture-perfect. From the lighthouse in Naidi Hills, to the beautiful communal grazing area of Racuh a’ Payaman (or Marlboro country), and the rocky beach in Valuga.
You can fly to Batanes via BCTA chartered flights (Manila-Basco-Manila) at promotional price of 6,200 pesos one way using a British-made aircraft BAE-146. They have started accepting bookings on March 01. Flights will be Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays starting on March 15. The flight is only one hour and ten minutes, in the comfort of a 94-seater jet. For reservations please call the following hotlines: (02) 635-4810 / 546-1197 / 998-4303 / 475-5267 / 475-5260 / 0917-8112282 / 0999-8894106 / 0908-2309419 / 0922-8213717. or visit batanestravel.com for more details
Updated: Includes curated tweets during a discussion last April 21, 2012
““I tell people â€â€You don’t want to talk to your child about your kids’ sex education. Well therefore, your child will learn sex through billboards, through internet, through magazine, through exploitative media outlets. Good luck. I talk to my children about sex because I rather they hear it from me from anyone else”, Pia Cayetano told us in Blog Watch just before the elections.
Sex education starts when our children are young. A mother told me that she wished she had taught her pregnant 18 year old daughter about sex. Her daughter thought she would never get pregnant in her first sexual experience. Another mom expressed her frustration:
They are bombarded by sexual messages from all sides of their life, and parents have to take an even bigger role now to provide them with balance. I want my girls to see their sexuality in a healthier light than I did, without all the misconceptions and guilt that came with it. It’s hard finding a balance between wanting them to be able to enjoy their sexuality without being ashamed of it, but also accept and be accountable to the responsibility that comes with it.
“Flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men and animals. Some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
Summer afternoon…oh the summer afternoon. I would rather have the summer heat than the winter cold.
It was the perfect time last April 7 to view the gorgeous and bold sunflowers at the UP Diliman campus, the place where my husband and I met 34 years ago ( You can read our love story.) I wore my pretty yellow sun hat to protect me from the scorching heat just so I won’t get a migraine.
Today, at the University of the Philippines, 3,998 graduates will be marching to receive their diplomas at the UP Diliman’s 101st general commencement exercises. They will pass through the “waysides on University Avenue as thousands of sunflowersâ€â€those huge, bright yellow blooms used to depict the sunâ€â€greet graduating students .” Graduation is not complete without the sunflowers.
The heat did not bother me that time. I recall Helen Keller quote about sunflowers. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do. ”
The sunflowers with its bright yellow petals were stunning! It only blossoms on April just before the annual university graduation. Sunflowers spark hope for the new graduates. A subtle message seems to beckon graduates to look forward to a bright future.
I was fortunate enough to see the Sunflowers at its full bloom. Cars barely drove by the avenue. No security guards to bother us. The Sunflower heads gazed towards the oblation, as it worships the sun.
Light-enchanted sunflower, thou
Who gazest ever true and tender
On the sun’s revolving splendour.”
~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca
The bright, blooming sunflower heads , symbolic of the sun itself represents warmth, happiness and all things positive. The sunflower is the happiest flower of all and it gave such a cheerful atmosphere that sunny afternoon. It was a delight to just admire the scenery. I call out my husband to pose for me.
I discovered Sunflowers can be said to hold a very spiritual meaning. “The flowers appear to loyally and devoutly follow the course of the sun as it moves across the sky from the East to the West. In a spiritual sense, the sunflower is seen as a genuine follower of the sun. The sunflower will seek out the light, no matter how little light there is and hold their heads high in worship. Just like having a faith, these flowers are a symbol of constant, true and unswerving loyalty to something bigger and brighter than themselves.”
I like its symbolism of faith, loyalty and adoration. The idea that the sunflower follows the path of the sun all day means that it is seen as a symbol of unbending faith, loyalty and devoted love.
The sunflowers remind me of our love and devotion to each other. Yes, my husband just had to be in this photo he took of me.
Eagle of flowers! I see thee stand,
And on the sun’s noon-glory gaze:
With eye like his thy lids expand,
And fringe their disk with golden rays;
Though fix’d on earth, in darkness rooted there,
Light is thine element, thy dwelling air,
Thy prospect heaven.
So would mine eagle-soul descry,
Beyond the path where planets run,
The light of immortality,
The splendour of creation’s sun;
Though sprung from earth, and hast’ning to the tomb
In hope a flower of paradise to bloom,
I took to heaven.
(A sunflower poem by James Montgomery)
I believe it is really important to love ourselves first. To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. For Women’s day, let’s devote it to ME first so I ‘d like to share some quotes on loving yourself first.
There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit, and supplies passion to our lives.”
– Elisabeth Kubler Ross
““Something inside you emerges.an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself.”
– Eckhart Tolle
““Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.”
– Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
““Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
– Louise L. Hay.
““You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
– Wayne Dyer
““If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
– Barbara De Angelis
““The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”
– Sonya Friedman
““A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.”
– Ken Keyes
““You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha
So what are some things you can do to love yourself?
Gratitude is the first step to loving yourself. Start by thanking the people that mean a lot to you. But what things can you do today to take care of yourself?
1. My favorite is always going to the salon and pamper my feet with a rejuvenating pedicure or add eyelash extensions. I also enjoy the spa and having facials.
2. Indulge in a sweet treat like an ice cream bar (well perhaps once a month).
3. Buy a bouquet of flowers to brighten up your home.
4. Remember the special people in your life such as your friend from your youth. Have lunch with that person. The laughter and special memories are very uplifting.
5. Try something new. Start another blog. Take language lessons. Draw. Paint. Run.
6. Take a long nap. Enough rest works to improve problem-solving and creativity. Love your body by giving it the care it needs and it deserves.
And most of all, look at the mirror, smile and affirm that, that you are love and accept yourself as you are.
The only love you should be looking for is the one inside you.
If I were seated here, watching this event 12 years ago, I will not be able to recognize myself.
My grief , the loss of my son brought me to where I am today. A whole new world. A blogger that talks about ““Touched by an Angel” at her blog, the aboutmyrecovery.com . A blogger that talks of Blog Watch, a citizen media endeavor.
From a homemaker to a whole new world as a blogger, citizen media and as features editor of an alternative online magazine, the Philippine Online Chronicles, I often wonder…what would I have been doing if I did not move on towards a positive resolution of my grief? Never did I conceive that the shy old me would land on TV, newspaper, radio, magazine as a resource person for grief, then later in blogging then social media for the elections. Blogging brought me new friends, reconnected with old friendships, brought me to travel places. It taught me to be more confident.
Not a day passes when I do not think of my loved ones who have gone on. I often still wonder how my life would have turned out if they were still with me. When the going gets rough in social media, I remember that the pain of losing my son is worst.
I am reminded of my friend Cathy when she wrote about The good from the grief. Eleanor Roosevelt said as she reflected upon her transition from first lady to private citizen after her husband died: ““Every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before.
““If you can live through that, you can live through anything. You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
Watch #whatrocksmysocks video
What rocks my socks is being a blogger and evolving to cover a larger goal- to advocate social change .
My new normal as a blogger served me well: my role as a bereaved mother is no longer the first way I define who I am, but it is ever-present in my life and cannot be separated from all that I am . . . for the rest of my life.
I realized that Luijoe’s death gave me courage even if it took me five years to realize it. Courage to let life go on, to give myself a chance that new and good things will happen to me that will add JOY to my life. I felt he wanted me to carry on the comfort to others.
Working with my advocacy is also my way of keeping Luijoe’s memory alive in the next couple of years. I also know that every time I comfort a bereaved parent or sibling, my actions are a living tribute to my child.
Thank you Internet and Mobile Marketing Association of the Philippines (IMMAP), TV5 and The Peninsula Manila and others such as Yehey!, Wunderman, 1DMG, Leo Burnett & Arc Worldwide, LoudWhistle, Ripple 100, GoMotion, TV5, Peachtree SEO and eLearning Edge. Media partners: Adobo Magazine, Inquirer, and Rappler.com. Official beverage partner for the night: Casa Noble
#Whatrocksmysocks speakers aside from myself:
-Ivy Almario, Interior Designer
-Marthyn Cuan, CIO at Meralco
-Manny Osmena, Cebu’s top winemaker, Manny O
-Glenmarc Antonio, Famous cosplayer
Photo credits: Some photos from Jane Uymatiao, Jaypee David , Carlo Ople and Jules Mariano. Thanks a lot
Looks like a few readers are interested in the upcoming, unwritten book on “How to Please Your Mother-in-law without losing your identity“. It’s not an impossible book. Based on practical tips from successful daughter-in-laws (like myself, I would hope so) who get along with their mother-in-laws, here are some:
1. Live as far apart from your mother-in-law. If she is based in Manila, move to South Africa. The farther you are, the fonder her heart will be towards you.
2. Give her a round trip ticket for a two to three weeks stay but make sure the ticket cannot be rebooked. How she will love you for your generosity. Repeat this practice every two to three years.
3. Praise her on how wonderful her son is and how her parenting style truly molded his character.
4. Take cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, gardening and household lessons. Not only will you benefit from the lessons but your mother in law will be impressed. Of course you didn’t do it to impress her.
5. Pray everyday. You know that she will never change her ways. Pray to get strength to go through another day and that your marriage will not be affected in a negative light.
““To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”
– Josh Billings
I was excited despite the short notice. Russel C Patalinghog invited me to be the guest speaker at the 8th Leadership Awards of Eton International School . They were launching their new 3D based curriculum using technology from Eureka and thought I’d speak on the advantages of using new technology to help kids today learn more. He also asked me to share my insights on parenting in the new digital age.
It excited me because for the first time my talk is about parenting. Usually I am invited to talk about blogging, grief, or social media. I wanted to share my experience as a parent who provided computers in 1994 and internet use in 1995 . When the internet came to the life of my children, no one knew if it would be helpful. Some people who were ignorant of the internet often questioned me why I allowed my children to use the internet. As one of the pioneering parents to use internet, I had to rely on common sense and instincts.
Before I prepared my talk, I asked my eldest daughter Lauren on ideas as I always do whenever I write about parenting articles. My children have taught me a lot about parenting. Yes , they raised me well. My children would know if internet and new technology gave them valuable lessons in life but that is another story I will share in the future.
For now, let me share my keynote speech with some inputs from my daughters .
L was 9 years old while M was 8 years old when I had an internet connection at home. Between the 2 girls, Lauren used the internet a lot more than M. My internet service provider in 1995 was Virtual Asia. For 500 pesos a month, I had 15 internet hours. Geesh, it was terribly expensive to get wired during those days.
striking a balance for the wonders of internet accountability, self-discipline and safety
The internet at home was mainly used for email purposes as I wanted to save my precious internet hours. One summer day in 1996 , nine year old Lauren got bored and demanded to go online to search for penpals. I foresaw the need to strike a balance for the wonders of the internet with the responsibility for accountability, self-discipline, and safety. The best defense I had was to make exploring the online world a family affair.
Allow me share with you my thoughts on parenting in this new digital world before I speak on using new technology in the classroom.
Today, there are a varied array of new technologies such as the iPad. I see many kids using iPad. The question is “who needs a babysitter, now there is the iPad?”
A pediatric occupational therapist Cris Rowan, Author of Virtual Child: The Terrifying Truth About What Technology is Doing to Children, and founder of Zone’in Programs Inc outlook on child technology “use is bleak and irreversible. They’re permanently altering the formation of their brain, and it’s not in a good way.” When asked how she foresaw children adapting or evolving if they were to continue at the level of usage seen today, Rowan responded, “Well, I see them dying.”
Watch this one year old child with the iPad and a magazine. The video shows how magazines are now useless and impossible to understand, for digital natives. It shows real life clip of a 1-year old, growing among touch screens and print. And how the latter becomes irrelevant. Just watch.
The kid is restless with a magazine when it does not respond the way an iPad does. I find it disturbing because kids should be experiencing all the senses. There are health issues involved too. Your pediatrician can best explain this.
Two simple concepts: Clear limits and lead by example
I follow two parenting concepts that applies online and offline. Clear limits mean providing boundaries on our child’s activities and walking the talk on rules.
“There are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world. Love of books is the best of all.” Jacqueline Kennedy
Books need to be given to young children not iPads. They need to feel and smell the book. Sure, ebook readers provide the visuals but it does not give the tactile experience.
Call me an old-fashioned parent, but I love holding a book, leafing through the crisp pages, experiencing the vivid graphics, and inhaling that wonderful book smell. Don’t you?
Whenever I buy a new book to my toddlers, I protected their books with plastic cover. Just before reading, I smell that wonderful book smell. That experience bonded me with my children and they will never forget it.
“Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.”  Emilie Buchwald
Books are definitely a tactile experience for our children. The smell of new books always holds that promise of something new and exciting. Pass that on to your children. While I am not against iPads or other ebook readers, kids should own one when they are past 6 years old.
“We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching.” – Roy L. Smith
If you need to use these digital devices to your young children, cuddle them in your arms or sit them on your lap. The best way to make technology a healthy and positive part of family life is actually to embrace it as a family activity.
I also have an issue on prolonged use of devices. For children 2 yrs and above , American Academy of Pediatrics recommend 1 to 2 hours quality screen time per day. A finding from a Kaiser study in 2010 shows youth who spend more time with media report lower grades and lower levels of personal contentment.
Rowan references “a study that indicates technology overuse is not only changing brain chemistry, but also increasing the likelihood of children developing health issues. Human connection, eye contact and dialogue are paramount. Devices are hugely limiting this important exposure, Rowan says.”
As a result, therapists and clinicians are seeing an increase in attachment disorders, depression, anxiety, bipolar, obsessive compulsive disorders, and ADHD all of which have been linked to technology overuse. “I’ve been working with kids for 25 years. I’ve never seen this,” she concludes. “This is something that’s epic. And we’re really just witnessing the tip of an iceberg.”
As a parent who didn’t know much of new technology in the mid-nineties, I’d rather children read a book, see play volleyball than spend time vegetating in front of the computer. But I thought maybe the internet can have a place at home. The school did not have internet back then. It can be perfectly safe, uplifting and wonderful parts of kids’ lives if used wisely, especially combined with other balanced and healthy daily activities.
The best way to make technology a healthy and positive part of family life “is actually to embrace it, educate yourself about it and go hands-on with new devices, apps, social networks and services wherever possible. We don’t help our kids when we judge their lives through the lens of a non-digital world. It’s important for us to understand that our kids will spend their lives in a connected world where everyone participates in communication and creation.”
2. Teach kids the skills they need to use technology wisely and well.
It’s hard to gate-keep in a world with no fences. “Parents have lost control of the flow of information to our kids who see too much, too soon. We no longer hear conversations or see what our kids create and share with others. Since we cannot cover their eyes, or shadow them everywhere, we need to teach them how to see and how to behave responsibly.”
3. Match Technology with Reading Time or Outside Time
Make a deal in the house that for every hour of media, they must also spend an hour reading or outside. This makes sure kids keep a balance between technology and other activities.Most importantly, we must consider the media and technology use in the home so it does not become automatic, but deliberate and carefully implemented.
The limits I set for my children below 16 years old : only one hour computer use/internet a day. No TV during school days. Once the girls were in college, I set them free and allowed them to set their own rules.
4. Don’t be afraid.
Parents can’t afford to be technophobic. “Our kids adopt technologies faster than we do.That means they’re often way out in front of us. This fact upsets the parent/child relationship.So get in the game. Have your kids show you how to do something if you don’t know.”
5. Pass along your values.
Family values “are things that are many times passed down from generation to generation, and they play a monumental role in how your child learns and grows. Defining this time will help your family to understand what is important and what it means when you are talking about issues such as family time, play time, and other larger issues such as spirituality and the beliefs that you wish your child to grow up with.”
Using new technology in helping your kids learn more
I am not saying my parenting concept should be followed by all. The reason I am sharing this is because I have been there using new technology when my children were way older than 6 years old.
Technology is nothing new. Through the years, technology has evolved. Watch this video on “The history of technology in education”, and at how advancements in technology have impacted teaching and learning over time.
“Film strip projectors, copy machines, cassette players, television sets, VCR’s, CD players, DVD players, projectors and myriad of other tools are all forms of technology that have aided teachers and enhanced instruction in the past. I would also agree that when used in wrong hands, these can hinder true education.”
Using new technology and computers if abused will only take the students minds away from the actual information trying to be taught, and towards how cool and awesome the new gadgets are in the classroom.
Technology in the classroom is not a new idea. “Technology has advanced, but the message is still relevant!! It shows how technology may transform delivery and create new opportunities but the process is not new. More importantly, it reinforces the need to guide the learner (with some good old note taking!). The use of new media and technology still have to be carefully thought out especially in targeting conceptual learning.”
From the old video shown in the 1950’s, it is still applicable today. New technology in the classroom should stimulate, motivate and educate with a goal in mind.
Stimulate, motivate and educate with a goal in mind
New technology in the classroom brings fun and excitement to learning, lessons are captivating and engaging, many abstract subjects become tangible for students . It can also cultivate mastery of lessons and shortened period of teaching.
How?
1. Stimulate
Students require more than simple lectures to gain knowledge. “They instead need variety. Children must be immersed in different forms of learning. This is to ensure that all types of fact absorptions can be addressed (since some individuals master information through reading while others require visuals, and some may instead need to touch their assignments). Utilize computers, debates, the arts, Kinesthetic practices and more to allow all students to understand the material. Provide variety to ensure success.”
2. Motivate
One of the major keys to motivation is the active involvement of students in their own learning. “Standing in front of them and lecturing to them (at them?) is thus a relatively poor method of teaching. It is better to get students involved in activities, group problem solving exercises, helping to decide what to do and the best way to do it, helping the teacher, working with each other, or in some other way getting physically involved in the lesson. A lesson about nature, for example, would be more effective walking outdoors than looking at pictures.”
3. Educate
When you teach kids how to stimulate their mind while having fun kids systematically seek ways to educate themselves and enjoy lessons at school and education in general.
Hesitancy and fear of technology is not new
I used to have mixed feelings about using new technology in helping my kids learn more. Knowing that Eton International school will soon use a 3D curriculum in Science and math, I wish they were around in the nineties. My two girls often struggled with Mathematics. Imagine if the Math 3D curriculum was part of their Math classes. I am sure my girls would have appreciated Math more. I will write more about their 3D Based curriculum in another blog post.
For most parents, the hesitancy and fear of new technology is not new either. Usually we think of technology as machine-like equipment. Wasn’t it at one point, implementing paper and pencils into the classroom was the new ‘technology’ craze (as opposed to the slate board). Interesting perspective, isn’t it?
You know the good thing that happened when I embraced technology? I became a blogger in 2006 and today I use social media tools to advocate social change through Blog Watch.
“Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage.” Mike Trout
Updated October 23, 2014: SC junks Cebu ‘bikini students’ plea vs. school : In an 18-page decision, the SC’s Third Division denied a petition for the issuance of a writ of habeas data filed by parents of two of the five sanctioned students.
Update March 30 RTC Branch 19 Sheriff Manuel Gimeno and process server Rey Christian Matta (left) are denied entry at the gate of St. Theresa’s College where they were supposed to serve a temporary restraining order on school officials who blocked five high school students from participating in the graduation ceremony. Gimeno and Matta were unable to serve the order. The school turned away the five students involved in the controversy of photos uploaded to Facebook showing them in bikinis and allegedly, with alcohol and cigarettes. They were not able to participate in the baccalaureate mass and the graduation rites that would have capped their high school lives. See photo of sheriff turned away and this No graduation rites
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Virtue, science, and the arts are the seeds carefully planted in the student’s mind and heart – STC motto
That’s me 38 years ago after my High School graduation. A loyalist Theresian. I walked down the aisle of the St. Theresa’s College (STC) Cebu Chapel giddy with excitement that a new life awaited me in College. Nothing extraordinary happened the weeks before this momentous occasion.
It pained me to read the story of five girls who were initially not allowed to march on graduation day. My alma mater banned the girls from attending even pre-graduation rites because they were posing in bikini and posting their pictures online. The mother of one girl petitioned the court on behalf of her daughter. On Thursday, Judge Wilfredo Navarro issued a temporary restraining order on the STC’s sanction that applied to all the 5 students. The TRO said that STC must ““treat the minors with kindness and civility befitting true graduates of a respectable institution sans any discrimination for the entire duration of the commencement exercises.”
The offensive photos in Facebook
Having been in STC, I am aware how strict the school can be. During my time, someone had to measure how short our skirts were…that we should wear pantilets under our skirt and many more. I think shorts were not even allowed to be worn under our skirt. It was not feminine. Modesty was taught early on. I recall we had to wear a chemise or sando so that our bras will not be seen through the blouse. I think most Catholic girl schools have these rules.
Despite the strict rules, I appreciate the values and knowledge that prepared me for life.
Anyway, the school officials scolded the girls for posting their photos of themselves clad in bikini at their Facebook accounts. . The students said they ““were deeply hurt and cried” after being scolded by the officials whom they accused of humiliating them with abusive language calling them ““easy, drunks and addicts.” The girls say the photos posted in their Facebook accounts were about past events held outside the school and were not offensive. The school officials say the photos were considered by the school as ““offensive to the virtues” espoused by the Catholic school.
The sanction imposed on the students was based on the provisions in the STC Handbook. I am not sure if we had the handbook back then. I do recall we couldn’t go around town with our school uniform. In the handbook, STC bars students from drinking outside the school, engaging in lewd behavior and dress in clothing that exposes underwear.
Vague standards
Student Council Alliance of the Philippines (Scap) believes that STC’s Student Handbook violates students’ rights and the Constitution.
“One of the rules stipulates that students should not be ‘posing and uploading pictures on the Internet that entail ample body exposure’ among numerous provisions that impede on the private and personal affairs of their students.” Scap said in a statement.
University of the Philippines Center for Women’s Study director Sylvia Estrada-Claudio explained that the issue is an ““institutional problem.”
““Every institution, even private religious ones, need to think disciplinary rules through so that they do not end up with institutional mechanisms that provide vague standards for discipline that lead to discriminatory and cruel interpretations,” Estrada-Claudio said.
““The vagueness of ‘ample body exposure’ leaves the interpretation up to whoever is looking at the pictures. This allows school authorities such a broad latitude that it allows for arbitrariness. In this case this arbitrariness is now the subject of controversy and like many others, I think the student’s rights have been violated.”
Jerbert Briola of Human Rights Online Philippines said the sanction is a violation of Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act ““for causing psychological violence to the student” and that the school was ““harsh” for not allowing her to march on graduation day.
The parents plan to file charges of child abuse and “grave oral defamation” against the school and school officials.
Academic freedom
Academic freedom covers standard of conduct. The concept of academic freedom includes not just standards of academic performance but also of conduct and decorum. Every educational institution has the right to prescribe proper behavioral requirements.
But these standards must be reasonable, clear and made known to the students and parents beforehand. The standards of conduct of a respected institution like my alma mater STC Cebu which has been in existence for generations were crafted at a time when there was no social media as we know it today. Who could have foreseen the impact of Facebook?
Ideas of propriety and privacy are continually evolving and it now seems that the standards prescribe by STC are outdated. It might be time to review the code of behavior required of STC students. In the meantime, maybe a less rigid penalty can be imposed.
In this age of social media, this will not be the last instance of STC students posting comments , pictures in Facebook or other social media sites. It might be time for STC Cebu to accept certain realities and adjust to them in a positive and constructive way. Why call them out with abusive language as ““easy, drunks and addicts”? Name calling will not result in constructive engagement.
After all the values instilled by STC will remain with them for life and will not be destroyed by a mere error in judgment.
To this day, I carry the values that STC instilled in me. The school’s rallying cry is ““Let your light shine. Be a blessing to those in need, especially the underprivileged.” I hope these girls will not be traumatized and will rise above this pain. After all, a Theresian is a “woman of faith and a seeker of truth with a strong sense of mission” and as such will respond “creatively to the cry of justice and fullness of life.”
Come, Theresians, and acclaim,
St. Theresa’s glorious name.
Grateful hearts their tribute bear,
Loving lips shall sing for her,
For she stands among the rest
As a leaven for the quest.
Dearest home we stand for you.
Far or near our song rings true.
And our theme fore’er shall be,
“St. Theresa, hail to thee!”
And our theme fore’er shall be,
“St. Theresa, hail to thee!”
How did I end up covering the Impeachment trial? Has it all been worthwhile? How did I end up sitting it out for 5 hours or so 4 times a week since the middle of January 2012? I could be doing something else, travel around the Philippines, start a new home project or write a book. But no…I got hooked and never stopped watching, tweeting and writing.
All I know was I would be in Cebu with my two girls, enjoying the sunny blue skies and festive Sinulog Celebration. It never occurred that I should do a coverage . I blame Tonyo Cruz for asking if Blog Watch was covering the Corona Impeachment trials. When I told him there were no plans, he suggested we should do it to complement traditional media. I thought, “hmm maybe awareness of the impeachment process and being open minded”. I took the challenge.
Instead of the walk to the mountains on January 16, I cuddled up on my comfy bed at my hotel room covering Day 1 to day 4 of the Corona Impeachment trial in the afternoons. In all the 34 trial days, I think I only missed hearing it once. Well, I am not going to talk about the trial but about how it was in those 34 days. (here is Blog Watch Impeachment Watch coverage)
I never imagined myself covering the trial inside the Senate session hall. First of all, the Senate is at least an hour’s drive away. Secondly, I am not after news. Commentaries or features work best with bloggers like me. But I thought watching it in the Senate would give me the pulse of the audience as it goes live.
My first visit was showing my daughter (who was bound for Australia in a week) about the impeachment process. I liked that she was interested in our current affairs. It was also this day when PSBank President Pascual Garcia first testified at the Senate. It felt like watching a movie, filled with suspense as Corona’s account details were announced. I thought I’d hear 100 million pesos or something. It was just 20 million pesos best explained as Defense presents its evidence.
It isn’t a bad idea after all to be at the Senate Impeachment trial . I tried my luck applying for media accreditation. It was the first week of February and it seemed media dwindled inside the session hall. I got it without a problem since Philippine Online Chronicles (Of which I am features editor) issued me a media ID.
In early February , not many bloggers I knew were covering it inside the Senate Impeachment trial. I often came in early so I could get a parking slot. Media room is almost empty just before the trial. I use this when I arrive at 10:00 in the morning.
After the trial the corridor is lined with journalists waiting to interview the senator-judges or the lawyers. I don’t join the frenzy. I’d rather snoop a bit to hear if there is anything interesting.
Cameras line up for a press conference.
I just take a peek at the prosecution press conference.
Aside from being there as it happens , I wanted my own photos in my posts. Too bad I am not allowed to take photos as soon as trial starts. There is pool of photographers allowed to take photos during the session.
Watching the trial became more interesting when Leslie Bocobo and other social media users came regularly at the Senate. There’s nothing like sharing comments while the prosecution or defense asks questions.
Wenchie, another Blog Watch blogger drops by the Senate every now and then. It is good to exchange notes. Not all of us in Blog Watch share the same views. We do agree to hear all sides first before making a conclusion.
When Justice Cuevas came back after two days of rest, I asked how he was and told me he was getting better. I told him people in Twitter were praying he recovered fast. I then requested a photo so I could share it in twitter. He turned around gamely for this shot.
There are times I cannot help but nod off while watching the Corona Trial especially if the voice is in monotone. My coat does not warm me enough from the chilly temperature inside the Senate. I leave the session hall and wait it out at the lounge so I don’t get caught live on TV. Yes, I have been caught live once , frowning on something I read in my Tweet deck.
Cuevas the rock star is the most requested person to have a photo taken with.
Here I queue just to have one with him. I will not pass up my chance.
The sweet Justice Cuevas held my hand tightly as this photo was taken. I was visibly touched as he reached out for my ID tag and asked for my name. I guess because I kept asking him if he felt better.
One of the most confusing things that happen during recess or the trial ends is when prosecution and defense lawyers mingle. I always thought there was a dividing law somewhere in the center between these two groups. At the end of the day, all the lawyers are buddies. It is work after all.
I alternate sitting at the prosecution and defense gallery. When PSBank President Garcia took the witness stand, exasperated sighs could be heard short of saying “reveal the dollar accounts” or “why are you taking so long to reveal the numbers?”. While at the Defense gallery when LRA head Atty. Diaz testified, I chuckled over a comment “Ang computer na ang mag-impeach” to which a twitter user piped in and said “much like the plagiarism where Word was accused for it”.
At the end of every trial, it is a time to unwind , take more photos or just mingle with the people I know. I take the hot seat , imagining what it is like to sit it out there for hours on end.
But Rep. Farinas breaks my fantasy into “real-life” drama as he acts out the part of the prosecution. How funny he is. This could be his FAMAS best actor award.
I pretend to be in the Defense team.
I do the same as I sit in the prosecution desk.
On the last day , I bumped into Roxanne at the gallery. As a balikbayan graduate on vacation, I didn’t know the impeachment trial could be a tourist spot. Another pleasant surprise is she reads this blog. Such a sweet girl, she hugged me because she read my son’s story.
This lovely lawyer is someone close to my sister-in-law (a lawyer herself) so it is easy to talk to her. She also gets a lot of requests for photo ops.
My husband has always been telling me to talk to his friend and fraternity brother Prosecution spokeperson Rep. Miro Quimbo. I thought he was too intimidating so I never bothered. Well one day, I bumped into him at the elevator and introduced myself. Blame it on senior moment, I do not recognize Miro in a suit. He was always in t-shirts back then. Miro told me my husband was his mentor in Law School . Miro and my husband seems to be members of the Mutual Admiration society as they both have good words about each other. It totally escaped my mind that the last time Miro saw me was at the wake of my beloved son in 2000. (I was a recluse for many years) He said I look different now. Perhaps because I have moved on to this new normal. A lot of small talk and laughter as we talked about my dear old husband. He introduced me to Rep Sonny Angara who recognized me as @Momblogger in twitter. Awkward! I think I am quite critical when @sonnyangara tweets.
Talking to Miro made me reflect on how much I have indeed changed from 11 years ago. He saw the difference. How my grief must have evolved to doing something meaningful today. Like I often say, the death of my son gave me the courage to pursue and fight for my goals in life..
So perhaps I was meant to cover the Impeachment trial for a reason. This impeachment trial is a momentous and defining moment in the growth of our democracy. It is a significant opportunity for me to be a part of building on the gains we have made as a democracy.
“In the end, dear friend, it is always between us and God, not between us and them.” Mother Teresa
Pain has been a great teacher. I guess I can relate to pain of others. Losing my precious son, my mother , father and two siblings opens my heart to others in similar pain. Last wednesday , I arranged a meeting with Chief Justice Renato Corona and Blog Watch. Many things have been said about this man. Mostly horrible things. I wanted to know what he was like. CJ Corona does not appear charismatic in his public appearances. Perhaps that should be the case because he is not an elected official. A friend thinks that CJ Corona ” acts and speaks like a chief justice should – with utmost respectability and decorum after all, he is NOT a politician, concerned about “facade” or image.”
Talking to him offered me a glimpse of a mild-mannered man with soft spoken voice, but hurting from the demolition attacks from various interest groups. When asked how he felt from all these attacks, he said
““Nasaktan ang pamilya ko. Tao lang kami. Hindi ito madali. We are just human beings. We were insulted. Nilait kami on TV, on radio, in the papers. We were demonized. We were called names. My wife was demonized and we do not deserve this.”
My heart fell. Here was a man vilified by the Court of Public Opinion. How does he cope?
““Napalapit kami sa Dyos. We used to pray individually. I have become spiritual.”
Prayer was something that they used to do as a family but as the children got older, the practice soon fell through. Their US-based daughter joins the family prayer via Facetime. A priest advised him that to be blessed by God, one must learn to forgive. It must be difficult forgiving those that besmirched your private life and the family.
I believe in prayer. It’s the best way we have to draw strength from God. I also know how it is to turn to God when things are beyond our control. I have been there, helpless with the grief engulfing my life. Lifting the pain to God makes one feel the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders. Turning our worries into prayer works, but we must leave it in God’s lap and refuse to allow it to plague our minds. When things happen to me that are out of our control I try not to worry about it excessively, instead I offer my worries to God and trust that He will make things better for me.
This time around, I see Corona and his family are hurting from all the mud thrown about their private life , ““rather than a process to determine his guilt or innocence based on due process according to the rules of court.”
In those two hours I spent time with him, I was visibly moved with his sincerity that I almost teared. How could these unseen forces judge him when he has yet to present evidence? The horrible things said of Corona will have its day in the Senate Impeachment Court. Innocent until proven guilty. I just do not feel any bad vibes from this man. Now I understand the reasons why employees of the Supreme Court defend their Chief Justice. CJ Corona is highly likable person. I even met his wife , son and eldest daughter before the meeting and were all gracious and easy to talk to.
I am not saying CJ Corona is innocent. Let’s distinguish between Corona the person and Corona , the public servant here. It is not my place to ascertain if he is guilty of the Articles of Impeachment. That is the job of the Senate Impeachment Court.
Whether the Senate Impeachment Court delivers a verdict of acquittal or conviction, CJ Corona will accept it. He said, this is not a decision of men. In the end, he says ““God will decide.”
““I tell people â€â€You don’t want to talk to your child about your kids’ 
Looks like a few readers are interested in the upcoming, unwritten book on “
Student Council Alliance of the Philippines (Scap) believes that STC’s Student Handbook violates students’ rights and the Constitution.
