How to Let Go of the Past

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““Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.” Denis Waitley

I want you to read this and know that I have moved on a long time ago. I don’t hate you. I am not angry at you. Yes, once upon a time, I was hurt, angry and livid at you but I couldn’t allow a dark cloud to hover above my head. The anger was the final burst of energy before letting go settled in. I am aware I have faults but living in the past is not one of them. There’s no future in it. Why should I carry the burden of anger towards you? It is unhealthy. Holding on to the past is a waste of valuable energy, energy that can be used to transform myself into a better person, today and tomorrow. Energy used to attend to urgent issues. Energy used to help others in need.

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How would I know if someone I care about was contemplating suicide?

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Suicide is very much in the news these days. A forensic expert who conducted an autopsy on Trina Etrong, wife of Ted Failon said that the contact wound on her temple indicates suicide. (Edit on April 22– A second autopsy points to suicide)

I ‘d like to point out that the Compassionate Friends refer to the death as ““died by suicide” or ““died of suicide” to replace the commonly used ““committed suicide” or ““completed suicide.” The phrases “Died of suicide” or “died by suicide” are accurate, emotionally- neutral ways to explain the death.

Suicide, no doubt, is the most misunderstood of all deaths and leaves behind a residue of questions, guilt, anger, second-guessing, and anxiety which, at least initially, is almost impossible to digest. Even though we know better, we’re still haunted by the feeling that suicide is the ultimate act of despair, a deed that somehow puts one outside the family of humanity, the mercy of God, and (in the past) the church’s burial grounds.

Let’s not be judgmental on people who died by suicide.

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PR Events, Blog Advertising & Internet Marketing Course at AIM

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Note: This is a discussion about Bloggers and Blog Marketing and what Marketing/PR Executives can expect from bloggers.

Bloggers seated from Left to right:
Jonel, Azrael, me, Peter, Juned and Markku
while Regnard Raquedan is standing.

I thought I was just supposed to be an observer/participant of the Bloggers’ round table discussion on Blogging & Blog Marketing: Conversations that can lead to Conversions at the Internet Marketing Course specifically called Winning Internet Marketing Strategies & Tactics at the Asian Institute of Management (AIM) . The course is a three and a half-day course designed to demystify Internet Marketing for executives, consultants, and entrepreneurs. It gives participants a practical understanding of how websites, blogs, and social networks are changing the old rules of marketing. I was pretty much surprised when Regnard Raquedan told us to sit in the front and talk about blogging, blog advertising and blog events.

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Compassion for Joseph Carlo Candare & Awareness of Philippine’s Animal Welfare Act

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UP TRIBUNAL DECISION: STOMPING A KITTEN TO DEATH IN UP IS NOT ““MISCONDUCT”

Click to Enlarge Photos

There’s nothing wrong with anger provided you use it constructively. Wayne Dyer

Meet the adorable kitties that give my family so much joy. They are so loved that we call them the other members of the family. Missy (left) is mine. Kylee (center) belongs to L and Lady (right) is M’s pet. Well, my husband gets to choose among the three but I think he has a thing for Kylee. They talk to each other at the dinner table. No kidding. I understand that not everyone is a cat lover. So when I read about Joseph Carlo Candare who got labeled as a Cat Serial Killer, I was beyond horrified that someone could engage in a brutal act. I gasped at his description, I pulled it on its tail and threw it. Then like some pro wrestler I jumped on it and my feet landed on it’s torso. Slam! Felt good!. As I continued reading, I got more appalled by the comments of the readers as the poster/blogger called for action “Wanted Dead or Alive“. Geesh, what kind of call for action is that? You might be a “Cat Killer Killer”? (Edit April 19– The yoopee multiply entry has been deleted now)

Still seething with anger, I shook my head and tried to understand the actions behind this brutality. Despite my disgust , I turned my thoughts to the student who studies at UP Diliman. What is the university doing about this? Is it providing help to Joseph Carlo Candare (JC)? I know his actions are just so gruesome to comprehend among cat lovers like me. Should I continue on with this anger? What will my anger bring me? Anger is a beneficial one if it is NOT allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish people. Anger signals problems we need to solve or it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes it is the final burst of energy before letting go settles in.

Breathe deeply. I can feel all this anger but still take responsibility for my behavior.

Right now, I can act on my anger and move on to a positive resolution.

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Death of Ted Failon’s Wife: Suicide?

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(Update May 21- Trina Etong committed suicide–NBI )

It was just a matter of time yet the news of Ted Failon’s Wife death came as a shock. Trinidad Arteche Etong or Trina , died tonight at 8:50 PM. She died of cranial injury but was it due to homicide or suicide? Her daughter thinks that her mom tried to commit suicide. To lose a loved one to death is painful, to lose a loved one to suicide is also disorienting.

If it is suicide, it is a particularly cruel form of death for the surviving family and friends. Questions like : How could she have been so full of despair that she felt that death was preferable to life? Additionally, the family has to cope with the police, an inquest, and possibly the media, as well as the ever-present and unanswerable question ““Why?”. Suicide is a complicated loss.

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The Shooting of Ted Failon’s Wife (Update: Trinidad Arteche Etong Is Now Dead)

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Ted Failon’s Wife is Now Dead

as of 8:50 PM, April 16

My deepest condolences to Ted Failon’s family.

Trinidad Arteche-Etong, the wife of veteran ABS-CBN newscaster Ted Failon, has been declared dead at 8:50 PM by doctors at the New Era General Hospital Thursday evening. She passed away about 20 minutes after doctors tried to revive her, Peter Musngi reported Thursday night over radio dzMM.

Source: Ted Failon’s Wife Dies from ABS CBN


For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

My husband and I watched the video above and hubby immediately noticed that one piece of evidence, the “Suicide or apology note” is being handled by reporters. Shouldn’t the evidence be secured and tucked in a safe place? Talk about being responsible. Anyway, the note says this:

““”Papa, Im so so sorry gustong gusto ko pong magsabi sa yo ng totoo, pero hindi ko po alam kung papaano ko uumpisahan.

“Sobrang takot na takot po ako. Umalis po muna ako. Kasi hindi ko po kayang at nahihiya po ako sayo humarap.

“Sana po mapawad mo ako papa. Sorry, sorry Papa

Mama” [I want to tell the truth but I don’t know how to start. I was afraid that is why I left]…

Okay, I find it strange that the wife addresses Ted Failon as “po” so many times. Being Visayan, I might have made the wrong assumption on the usage of “po” since the “po” word is not part of my Cebuano dialect. Or she is just very respectful when she speaks in tagalog. I don’t know. There are just so many inconsistencies from the news reports. (see update below)

Update April 16 11:00 AM

“It was a self-inflicted incident. My mother tried to commit suicide by shooting herself in the head,” said Kaye Etong in an interview over dzMM.

She added that the supposed letter from her mother bore her true handwriting.

“I know my mother’s handwriting. Nung nakita ko ‘yung kopya ng sulat, alam kong sulat po ‘yun ni Mama (When I saw a copy of the letter, I know Mama’s handwriting),” said the daughter, adding that the use of the words ““po” and ““opo” was normal for her mother.

(Source: ‘My mom tried to commit suicide’ )

As of this writing (10:00 PM, April 15), there is no official report from the SOCO [Scene of Crime Operatives]. News Report cite that as of posting time, Trinidad Arteche Etong, 44, was brain dead.

Brain Dead.

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My Magic Shawls And Letting Go

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My husband stared at the couch by the bay window and sighs “look at what the cats did!@!*! The damage to the leather is getting worse everyday.”

We have three lovable furry felines in our household and they give me so much comfort when the house is empty. I cuddled my pet kitty to my chest and stroked her smooth white fur as I tried to think of something.

I held his hand “Missy gives me joy. Don’t worry, my shawl will hide the worn leather.”

He continues to rant because he can’t help seeing the frayed couch day in and day out. Oh well, I think it is an excuse to re-upholster the couch, as I continue to think of solutions.

Then he wandered off to the living room and pointed out the base of the lounge in tatters.

Seeing my husband’s exasperated look, I comfort him once again “My shawl will hide all that. Don’t worry. I have lots of shawl”. My wide collection of pretty shawls from China, Divisoria, India and Pakistan came in handy. I picked an olive-green shawl and demonstrated the look of the couch and the lounge chair as it hid the torn and ragged leather. My husband nods.

Perfect!

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The Bloggers Credentials & Credibility in Filipino Voices

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Wayne Dyer

My husband is not a very patient man whenever I ask questions concerning politics. He always tells me to read the news report or the Opinion Columns. Sipping coffee and feasting on my heaviest meal of the day is never complete without reading a newspaper. Another daily routine is reading Filipino Voices (FV) usually during lunch or dinner time. You can say, that newspapers are my breakfast fare while Filipino Voices, my dessert.

I like to enrich myself with varied opinions when it comes to the current events, politics and national issues that are not normally found in the newspaper. The thing is Filipino Voices are composed of bloggers from all walks of life. When I first read the entries of the FV bloggers, it never entered my mind to check on their credentials. I simply read their blog entries and if I have something to contribute, I comment. If I had nothing to contribute, I just move on to the next entry and so on and so forth.
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A Mom’s Graduation Speech

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“Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Nope this is not a graduation ceremony. Mom bloggers meet up with Raqgold, fellow mom blogger from Germany.

I am in another joyful phase of motherhood, more relaxed and laid back. When the kids were pretty much younger, my group of moms and I used to hang out after school whenever it was time to pick our kids. Every time the school year ends, we often joke each other…”hey, we are graduating from preschool to elementary school” or when we got older, “hey, have you graduated to high school?” and so on and so forth. Having all my kids out of college is huge milestone for me. More time to travel. More time to be by myself. More time to be with friends. More time to pursue passions that I couldn’t venture to when I was a hands-on mom.

I feel like giving my own graduation speech with me as the only audience because I deserve a pat at the back. Mothers deserve a round of applause for a job well done.

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It’s Been 40 days since the Death of Amiel Alcantara

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Dying is a wild night and a new road.
~Emily Dickinson

Remember Amiel Alcantara? Well, it has been 40 days since his sudden death?


One of the things so astonishing and costly about losing a loved one is that, while the sun continues to rise and set, newspapers continue to be delivered, traffic lights till change from red to green and back again,our whole life is turned around, turned upside down.

And life does go on but we can still continue to remember our loved ones on special days through candle lighting, rituals, customs, simple rites or ceremonies. Today, on the 40th day since his death, a marker was blessed on the spot where Amiel was struck by a van.

The marker reads:

The Ateneo de Manila Grade School Members
MASTER JULIAN CARLO MIGUEL “AMIEL” ALCANTARA
who was called to the Lord on February 24, 2009.
We Thank him for the gift that he had been to all of us,
for teaching us to love, and cherish life, and
for bringing us all together as a community in prayer ,
with a renewed promise to nurture and care for each other,
as we journey for persons for others.
Blessed on the 40th day of his entrance to glory

April 5, 2009
Palm Sunday

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