I am in Cebu City right now for an overnight business trip. It feels great to be home. Well, not exactly at my old home. We sold our family home a few years ago because none of the siblings live in Cebu. Home is where the heart is or my hometown, where I spent the first 16 years of my childhood. Part of my agenda entailed a meet up with my grade school best friend, Rowena. It’s been 34 years since we last saw each other. Yes, the last time was at our high school graduation. I’ve never forgotten her though. The problem was I didn’t stay long enough in Cebu to reunite with high school friends whenever I went for my semestral break or vacation. Memories of high school popular cliques and my mediocre school performance made me want to avoid any reunions. But whenever I was in Cebu I often wondered what became of her.

Six months ago, I received a text message from Rowena. I was happy to hear from her, of course. Her reaction surprised me even more “I’m crying that we finally talked to each other”. I was thinking Did we have a fight? is that why we drifted apart?is that why she is crying? My heart remembers the love, the camaderie, the laughter and the innocence we shared as kids. She told me that I often gave her roses and cake for her birthday. Was I that sweet? Did I really sneak out those roses from my mom’s rose garden? Did I “steal” cake from our bake shop just so I had a gift for Rowena? I desperately wanted to remember how I was as a young me.

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explosionMy hubby sent me a text message yesterday to get away from the [tag]Glorietta Ayala Malls[/tag]. He knows it’s my favorite mall since it was just a 10 minute drive from our old home in Makati. I texted him back that I was in another mall and not to worry about me. As soon as I reached home, I googled for “[tag]Glorietta 2 Explosion[/tag]” and was surprised at the Google Search Engine Results. I was suddenly taken back in time. Lauren’s May 18, 2000 entry showed up on the first page that there was a Glorietta 2 explosion on May 17, 2000 which injured teenagers mostly since the blast occured near a video arcade:

Glorietta 2 was bombed yesterday ( the third bombing in just a week ) and one of the girls in my batch, Ana May, was there and got hurt. Twelve were injured and mostly teens cos it happened at the Synergy video arcade (the other arcade we go too sometimes). I guess it’s good that me and Stephen aren’t, well, exactly friends cos if we were, we woulda been there like every other Wednesday and I don’t really like the idea of my body parts flying all over the entire mall.

Why Glorietta 2 again? Not that I want other parts of the mall to be blasted away. It just seems so suspicious. I was at the Glorietta 2 entrance just a few weeks ago and remember raising my eyebrows when the security guard didn’t check my bag. He was busy reading the text messages from his cellphone. (Ayala Mall security, remove their cellphones while on duty please)

Anyway, just 3 days after that May 20, 2000 entry, Lauren wrote another one and this time on the SM Megamall Bombing that happened on May 20, 2000 where a janitor was killed.

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rosary.jpg The blue rosary in the photo belongs to Luijoe. A month before he died, he placed it lovingly on the rear view mirror of my car so mama, you will always be protected. Little did he know that he would be in heaven a month later, watching over me and the rest of the family. The Holy Rosary played an important part in my son’s life. My heart often tugs at the memory of my son chastising me for not saying my regular prayers. One night, he pulled me over to our bed because he wanted to pray the Rosary. This lazy mother begged off saying “I don’t feel like it…it’s too long to pray”. That memory often brings me tears of regret that I wasn’t supportive enough of my son’s staunch faith in the Holy Rosary. I should have just prayed along with Luijoe even if I didn’t feel like it. In the eulogy given by Luijoe’s pre-school teacher, she talks of Luijoe as he prayed the rosary:

One time I assigned him to lead the rosary. He was murmuring. One of his classmates told him to speak louder. So loudly but seriously with a big voice he uttered the prayers. At the end of the rosary, all of his classmates clapped their hands. Then, he shouted innocently,”This is not a program..This is a prayer!”

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royal_elastics 043.jpgI felt sad for the former president, [tag]Joseph Estrada[/tag] (Erap) when it was announced that Erap was guilty of the plunder case. It’s not easy to be locked behind bars. I don’t know enough of the case to talk about it but I suppose the Sandiganbayan examined the evidence given during the past six years. As I saw the dejected face of the former president, memories of my son idolizing [tag]Erap[/tag] filled me. My son would have been really sad for Erap. Luijoe loved hearing the funny Erap Jokes. See my son had a great sense of humor and loved to throw a joke or two. Then he discovered the Erap jokes. One time, my 6 year old boy overheard us laughing to our heart’s content on an Erap joke. He badgered to know the joke. So I narrated the joke

Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpen
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?

Luijoe loved to tell this joke to everyone . One time, Luijoe and I passed by Penshoppe ( a teen fashion store) in Glorietta mall and I teased him if he wanted to go inside with me , so I could ask the same question Erap asked. Luijoe tugged me away. hehe

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youngblogger.jpgLauren told me to scrounge around for her photo as a 10 year old using the computer because it was needed for a magazine article. As some of you might know, Lauren started an online journal (not called blogs then) on December 1996 so the photo had to be around that time. Oh no! It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. For days, I poured over stacks of photos because I have not been organizing them for the past 12 years. I finally found the photos of her in various poses with the computer. My geeky little Lauren.

Lauren was 9 years old while M was 8 years old when I had an internet connection at home. Between the 2 girls, Lauren used the internet a lot more than M. My internet service provider in 1995 was Virtual Asia. For 500 pesos a month, I had 15 internet hours. Geesh, it was terribly expensive to get wired during those days. The internet at home was mainly used for email purposes as I wanted to save my precious internet hours. One summer day in 1996 , 9 year old Lauren got bored and demanded to go online to search for penpals. I foresaw the need to strike a balance for the wonders of the internet with the responsibility for accountability, self-discipline, and safety. The best defense I had was to make exploring the online world a family affair. Together, we surfed and discovered two kid sites , the kidscom.com and kidpub.com. What caught their interest in kidscom was the graffiti wall that served as a chat room but it wasn’t in real time. The kidspub was a fun place to submit writings. Lauren was raring to get her creative juices started with the kidspub. The thing was they wanted her to submit the articles in HTML.

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I thought I’d go down memory lane and reminisce the days just before I fell in love with my ex-boyfriend (read our love story) .In this day and age, my husband is the so-called brooding artist, emo-ish guy (Think of my daughter, Lauren). I mean he is my total opposite. So why did I fall for him anyway?

Jane posted this meme on her blog and it alsogot me thinking if hubby is really MY type of guy. Not that I doubt if he is MY guy but it’d be fun to see the score at the end of this meme.

So here goes:

1. Suplado = I like suplado guys. There is an air of mystery around them. Butch is suplado.

2. Mr. Shades = Oh yes, groovy. Like that.

3. Masculado = Not too many muscles. Those rippling muscles look scary.

4. Guys who give flowers = Flowers given without any occasion is the best surprise.

5. Smiling face = Of course, a smiling face is way better than scowling face

6. Hiphop = Being a “good dancer” during the late seventies was a must. I thought Butch could dance because everytime a dance music played, he’d dance and wiggle on his chair. Oh dear, but that’s all he could do. Dance while seated. Haaay.

7. Guys who ask permission before courting = I would have loved that but nooo…Butch was unconventional.

8. Has earring/s = Though it wasn’t the fad then and if it were in this day and age, I’d say NO WAY.

9. Used to chew bubblegum =
Definitely a turn-off!

10. Long-hair = Okay as long as it is kept neat , clean and tidy.

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rose_petals.jpg“Do you have rose petals?” The florist sounded a bit too excited when he asked “For your bed?”. I could have smacked the nosy florist but I took everything in stride. “No, it’s for my daughter’s hoity-toity grown-up party”. The nosy florist continued ” Oh she is scattering petals on the stairs”. Maybe this florist asks every customer what they do with their rose petals. He proceeded to narrate how a wife preferred rose petals strewn all over her house, over the thorny rose flower. Enough , enough. I need the petals now. The rose petals will serve as as floral decoration for the party tables. I patiently explained to the florist. For 100 pesos ($2.00) I got a sizeable amount of rose petals.

As usual, the stage mother in me was tasked to procure those rose petals while the daughter basked in the soothing wonders of the beauty salon. Not only is my daughter a creative writer, she is also a creative party events person. I bet she can make a career out of it.

debut.jpg
I remember how Lauren planned her 18th Debut party that was centered around a medieval theme. Even her 18th birthday invitation card exuded words that could make you chuckle. Most of all her debut didn’t cost us an arm and a leg . You will be surprised at the savings as compared to most debutante parties. What is most amazing is that the keyword “18th birthday party“, “18th birthday cake “, “18th debut” is sought most often from Google searches. It is no wonder the Google Adsense income has more than paid us back for the expenses. Isn’t that cool?

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flowersOne of my fondest memory of Luijoe are the wild flowers he gathered from the park . With eyes twinkling as he held out the flowers, he scrambled up to my lap , gave me a hug and smacked a wet kiss on my cheek while uttering I love you so very much, Mama. Today it’s my turn to get flowers for my boy because July 13 is his 14th birth anniversary. But who says there can’t be a birthday cake, birthday present, or a birthday party?

Death ended my child’s life but not his relationship with my family. Even if there is no birthday boy to celebrate his 14th birthday with, I know that a spritual bond exists between us. As I gaze at the lovely flowers I bought at the Market! Market!, I marvel at God’s creation on the beauty of life. It’s good to be alive and to have survived the past 7 years of this grief journey. True, my son might not be around but his memory lives in my heart. We can still celebrate his birth anniversary at home.

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birthday party
I still remember the dinner parties at our house. They were fun and less costly. But, now it seems to be a thing of the past.Juned

It doesn’t have to be that way, Juned. Though technology and urbanization indeed has made things so much more convenient for us, dinners and great conversation should never be a thing of the past. I know it is a bit more laborious to prepare food instead of hiring a caterer. The joy and the fulfillment of doing it out of love makes up for all the work. It’s also one reason I refused my husband’s suggestion to host my birthday party at a fancy restaurant or in a hotel’s banquet hall.

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The poignant thoughts of Pia’s entry about her seatmate, Senator Juan Flavier (who has now graduated from the senate) brought back memories of my own dad. Like Pia, I have a soft spot for senior citizens about the same age as my dad would have been today. Whenever I garner an achievement, I often think “dad would have been proud of me”, sometimes wishing I can catch my dad’s beaming smile with a nod of approval.

I am turning 50 years old this week and somehow I am thinking of the day my dad turned 50. My sister and I walked towards the UP shopping center so we could send a special card telegram to dad. Our greeting was:

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