On the Day of the Unborn, my daughter’s 25th birthday

by ⋅ 5 Comments

We must not be surprised when we hear of murders, killings, of wars, or of hatred…If a mother can kill her own child, what is left but for us to kill each other? – Mother Teresa

pro-life

As countries across the globe observe the Day of the Unborn Child today (it is Day of Unborn in Manila) , I will be celebrating the 25th birthday of Lauren , my eldest daughter. I don’t understand why the Catholic church here in the Philippines calls it the “Day of the Unborn” which pretty much sounds like some creepy horror movie like the “Undead”.

Those against the Reproductive Health (RH) bill say they are pro-life and label RH advocates like me as “evil” or pro-abortion.

Well, hear ye.

I am pro-life.

I am for the Reproductive Health Bill.

I am pro-life because I believe that all births should be planned and wanted by their parents.

I am pro-life because I don’t believe in abortion except for special cases e.g. mother dying of high blood pressure

I am pro-life because I believe women do not have to die during childbirth.

Read More →

The honeymoon phase

by ⋅ 2 Comments


“It was just that we had this phenomenal honeymoon relationship that just kept on going.” James Levine
macau-tourists-1

As my boyfriend placed the engagement ring on my finger, my eyes just sparkled with excitement. Nothing could stop us from getting married. We were madly, deeply and truly in love for seven years. What did I know about marriage? I saw my own parents fight, laugh, tease and get back together. It’ll be a breeze for us, I thought.

macau-tourist

Looking back at our 25 years of marriage and 7 years of steady relationship, I never imagined the challenges, the tears, the drama that befell us. The children just kept us together. On one of those dreary days, I thought , “how can we grow old together?” Would we become one of those old grumpy couples that don’t speak to each other in restaurants or one of those adorable elderly couples that everyone aspires to be?

Sappy as it sounds, it must have been love that pulled us back again or was it our little angel watching over us? With the kids at college and more time for ourselves to bicker or romance (take your pick), the quality of time spent made us rediscover ourselves as a couple and as an individual. For me, that meant, slimming down, trying to be fashionably smart, embarking on new ventures and becoming a healthy person inside and out. Having dramatic changes might have moved my husband to do the same.

Read More →

The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.

by ⋅ 1 Comment

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost

valentine-dayYes, it is Valentine’s day, another ordinary day for my husband and myself. Just like any day, we make time to have lovey-dovey moments with each other and a special ME time.

Today is special for other couples but for us, every day is special. We have never been out on a date during Valentine’s day in all the 33 years we have been together. I never really understood why my dear husband loathed Valentine’s day until a few years ago. He can’t be the Valentine’s Day equivalent of Dr. Scrooge. Butch is a very romantic person. He whispers the most romantic phrases ever and that’s probably the reason I fell in love with him. Now back to the reason for this Valentine’s Day aversion. I teased him, ““Will you buy me a Valentine’s gift”. He said ““I already gave you my gift”. He reminded me, ““Didn’t I just give you___ pataca for our Macau trip?”

“No flowers?”, I teased.

He says “expensive during Valentine’s day”.

I laughed. ““So it’s an economic reason?”, I joked. He nodded. Ah now I recall, Butch was only 18 years old when we first became steadies. Naturally, he didn’t have the money to buy me the overpriced flowers or presents. All these years, I always thought that he wanted to be unique. Kuripot lang pala. (or is it being thrifty)

The non-celebration of Valentine’s Day on February 14th is our tradition carried through the years. While restaurants are filled to the brim with loving couples, we will just have a date at home. I am not even sure if I have time to cook as I have a lecture in the afternoon.

Most likely, he will just whisper sweet nothings as always, while I reflect on the Bible passage of love that has carried me through the years:

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

Love never comes to an end.

<< 1 Corinthians 13 >>

Since today is Valentine’s day, you don’t have to be a couple to celebrate it. Whether you are a couple or single, the most important relationship you will have with is yourself. And the most important person in your life is YOU.

““If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”

Loving yourself is the best way to learn how to love.

Update

I arrived home tonight and received a gift from Butch.

valentine-day

Meet my sister, the new vice-mayor

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

Who would have thought my beautiful and smart sister, Myrna would now be appointed vice-mayor of her city in California ? (She won a seat in the council last November 2010. The mayor and vice mayor are appointed by fellow council members)

Did it even occur to our family that she’d dabble with politics?

sister-won

Nuh-uh. If you asked me who among my siblings would have made it to politics, Myrna would be the last in my list.

Back in our college days in the state university, she was the least politically inclined among the siblings. Myrna with her frail, petite features seemed too fragile to fight it out in street rallies. Lorna, my eldest sister was an activist, cut short when my dad threatened to bring her back home to Cebu. It was the same predicament with me too. I then chose to be active in campus politics, being safe from arrests. Ruben. my brother was a photographer for the Collegian and was even brought to jail for taking shots of a police tearing down a poster. The youngest sister though not as politically inclined was a leader in her college organizations.
Read More →

33 years ago…since we met

by ⋅ 1 Comment

““A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” Mignon McLaughlin

Just like everyone else in cozy relationships, I counted month-saries, then years. And on the 7th year, I was thinking “Is my boyfriend ever going to marry me?”

So with the sweetest smile I could muster and my head leaning on his shoulder, I asked him “Will you marry me or not?”

Of course, I didn’t want him to feel like I placed a shotgun on his forehead, so I added “it’s okay if you don’t want to marry me, I will join my sister in San Francisco.” I entwined my hands on his.

The year 1984. I had just gotten back from a trip to the USA and Europe with my sisters and dad.
Read More →

Hubby and I are now compatible with new Zodiac signs

by ⋅ 1 Comment

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. Barnett R. Brickner

gemini-virgoOut of curiosity, I checked if my new Zodiac sign (the news is debatable) is now finally compatible with that of my husband. When my hubby was then my college sweetheart, the incompatibility issue disturbed me but I shrugged it off anyway because I was deeply in love with him.

Let’s take a look at our old Zodiac signs.

Old sign

Gemini me vs Virgo hubby

Check this Gemini Woman and Virgo Man

A Gemini woman and a Virgo man will understand each other’s needs as well as feelings quite well. Infact, most of the time, they will share feelings and thoughts, especially about the outside world. However, as far as their personal lives are concerned, they have more clashing, than compatible, traits. The best way to keep the fire alive in this relationship is to be honest with each other and respect the other person’s opinions. At the same time, they will have to find ways to neutralize his critical nature and her tactlessness.

The old Zodiac signs have been consistent with all Horoscope readings. It said my husband and I are incompatible. Perhaps that is one reason I started to ignore Horoscopes altogether. Strangely, my husband and I clashed a lot in financial management during the early years of our marriage. This was resolved fifteen years after we got married when I finally took over the finances. Despite these clashes, we were passionate and romantic towards each other.
Read More →

Cheers to a New Year 2011, another chance to get it right

by ⋅ 7 Comments

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” T. S. Eliot

new-year-2011Despite the challenges that our country face in 2011, I am excited of the possibilities and eager to start things rocking and shaking. Around 15 minutes before 2011 came in, Butch and I ate our traditional media noche such as our bam-i, a Cebuano noodle dish for long life, buko fruit salad, embutido, and sparkling juice.
Read More →

Flashback 2010: A good year that was

by ⋅ 4 Comments

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” – By Hal Borland
singapore-new-year
Lauren views Singapore cityscape December 31, 2010

Tonight’s New Year’s Eve celebration is the first time that our children are away from home. It will just be the two of us. Butch and me, well the two cats and my trusted two helpers. The last couple of days were rough on us especially the cancelled family vacation to Singapore, my surgery and being away from my kids for the first time in my life. Yet all that is in the past.

I will affirm the good things for the New Year 2011. I will offer a prayer, wait and expect good things to happen to me and my loved ones. Whenever I wonder what is coming, I tell myself the best is coming, the very best love and life have to offer, the best God has to send. I open my hands to receive to claim it and it’s mine.

I see the best in my mind and envision what it will look and feel like. Then I let it go without obsessing over it. Instead I become excited and express gratitude for all that I have achieved this year, all that I am and for all that I will become.

I am thankful for all the blessings for the year 2010…

1. Having the opportunity to interview 7 presidential candidates and empowering myself to understand the electoral process by being in it rather than just being an observer.

presidential-candidates

2. Getting a part-time contract to work with Vibal Foundation as their associate editor for the features section of the Philippine Online Chronicles. It is my first paid work since I left employment to be a full time mother in 1987. (I always thought companies stopped finding you useful when you reach over 40. I should know. I tried getting a job.)

with-vibal-foundation

3. A siblings’ reunion in San Francisco, in happier times, not funerals. I miss them a lot. We are so close even if we are continents apart.

my-family

Read More →

My husband’s surprise gift

by ⋅ 8 Comments

All of us have had the experience of a sudden joy that came when nothing in the world had forewarned us of its coming – a joy so thrilling that if it was born of misery we remembered even the misery with tenderness. Antoine de Saint-Exupery

lavallier-pendant

That’s not the surprise gift yet, well almost..

Butch and I promised not to give each other expensive Christmas presents because of the planned holiday trip to Singapore. We told each other “Let’s just shop there”. As most of you know, that did not happen. I still gave him a token gift, you know something to open, having that element of surprise and wonder during Christmas day. He had none to give me that day. I know him to be a generous person and I just shrugged it off. Maybe he didn’t have time to shop at the last minute, having to deal with my surgery and taking care of me. While recuperating in the hospital, I only thought of “what could have been..” if we were all together during the holidays. My husband often assured me there will be more family vacations so to “just get well”. I kept my optimism high, letting only positivity reign my life and focused on my recovery.

Read More →

My daughters’ Christmas Greetings via Skype Video Call

by ⋅ 2 Comments

christmas-via-skype

I am sure I am not alone in using Skype to greet family members. Family members in different parts of the world would want to be together but are unable to. Skype has brought a new level in Christmas traditions for those that can’t spend Christmas together. Just a few minutes ago, my daughters (who are right now in Singapore for the holidays) called me up in my hospital room.
Read More →