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Wedding Anniversary Gifts

wedding anniversaryI wished I had bought something new or had my hair done at the salon for our anniversary dinner. Come to think of it, does my husband really care? I don’t think so. Apparently he can’t even tell if I’ve don a new hairstyle or bought a new dress. I can walk past by him with a new dress and he wouldn’t blink an eye. It didn’t matter really because I was bent on celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary with a simple dinner with the girls. It turns out that our day contained a lot of little gifts which I call blessings.

1. The gift of new beginnnings
We finally got the title of our new home on our anniversary day. How symbolic! Yes, the perfect anniversary gift to ourselves. The transfer of the title to our names took forever thanks to corrupt Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) officers and other city hall employees who expected grease money to facilitate the papers. Despite the greed and corruption of the government employees , our hearts are filled with gratitute that after going through 6 months of condominium and house hunting and acquiring a housing loan, we finally got the love nest we dreamed of. A new life in our new home. We are open to all the exciting possibilities for change both within and around us.

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Thursday Thirteen: The 80/20 Rule


Thirteen Things about 80-20% rule

This 80/20 rule is more formally known as the Pareto principle, named after it’s founder the Italian economist. Pareto observed that 80 percent of the income in Italy was received by 20% of the people. For [tag]thursday thirteen[/tag], I will list down how the 80-20% rule applies to me, my work and my life.

1. 20% of my clothes in the closet are barely worn.

2. 80% of my sales come from referrals from 20% of my existing customers.

3. 80% of my blog’s google adsense income are derived from 20% of popular keywords (i.e. sex education, losing weight, SM Mall of Asia)

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What does he look like today?

May marks another month , another year for you but May of any year since May 27,2000 reminds me that my son is no longer with me.It will be his 7th death anniversary this year.

So why am I still blabbering about my son? Have I not moved on?

This quote best sums up any parent who have lost their child.

““Death ended your child’s life but not his or her relationship to the family” and ““You give up the old person who was physically connected to a now deceased child and make different connections with your child who has died.”

I received many emails from friends or relatives describing how their bereaved relative or friend doesn’t seem to be moving on because the dead child’s items are still being kept or they still talk about them. Also there are emails from bereaved parents who claim they are often criticized and even ridiculed by others for expressing their continuing love and connection to their dead child.

I maintain a sacred bond with my son which is very vital to my well being. I have these moments when I dream and imagine what my son looks like now. There was even a time that I wanted to attend the Grade 6 graduation ceremony of Luijoe’s classmates last year. I just wanted to see how they look like hoping to catch a glimpse of my son’s face through them. When I learned that a blogger had a 13 year old son, I told her to hug him for me. So yeah, wishful thinking.

My prayers were answered last Sunday , well sort of…

my beloved son

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A Day In a Life of A Blogger

No, today is not the usual routine I normally have. It was a long, tiring, fun-filled yet rewarding day.

At 9:00 AM , I attended the recognition ceremony of the digitalfilipino.com Web Awards and claimed the trophy as winner for Blog – Personal Category . Marc Macalua teased that I got a “grand slam”. Mixed feelings washed over me like do I really deserve this award? There are so many other blogs with great content that deserve this recognition. Don’t get me wrong. I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  
web award
I have been blessed beyond measure. This award affirms that my son continues to live in me through my words, through my actions and through my blog entries. A month from now it will be my son’s 7th death anniversary. I know now even if he is not here with me, his spirit lives in my heart. It’s just that I hope other blogs get recognition too.

Blogger Friends who won the digitalfilipino.com web awards are Marc Macalua (Community Category) and Abe Olandres (for Tourism category). The rest of the winners can be found here

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How Personal should a Personal blog be?

“Mom, my friends read your blog”

I was surprised. “they do? how did they find out? I always refer to you as M in my entries”

“Mom, duh, you place photos of me and besides word spreads around in the local blogosphere. Your sex education entry made them laugh that I just had to read it myself.”

*oops*

(Hi M’s friends *waves* to M’s friends)

My daughter M is a very private person. Though she owns a blog, she keeps it in a private url for 5 close friends. Soon, she might start a public blog showcasing random photos or anything under the sun.

“Just make sure you write nothing negative about me” she continued on. Then added “and make sure I look good in any photo you post. My _____ happens to read your blog. ”

I assured her, “Ah I don’t and besides I am not about to wash my dirty linen for the whole internet to see”

It got me thinking , this blog belongs in the personal blog category. It revolves around my life, the travails of my grief journey and the road to recovery. My family is also my life and naturally I will mention them from time to time. When I started this blog, I felt squeamish about revealing the sordid details of my life . But how else will readers empathize ? I needed to write on a personal level.

If there are lessons to be learned in my 14 months of blogging and getting more exposure is that sooner or later , intrigues arise. Take for instance, a certain blogger might read entries about your spirituality and starts judging your character. Or someone criticizes your writing style. Do you think blogs are read because they convey journalistic or linguistic appeal to readers ? Blogs are not newspapers. If they don’t like how bloggers write, grab a newspaper or magazine, for crying out loud. Better yet, close the browser and blog about how crappy we are in their own blog.

Anyway, I digress.

A personal blog is personal. I go out of my way to relate relevant experiences and include the advice, lessons or gifts learned from it. If my readers didn’t care about my opinion , would they be reading my blog? If they didn’t care, they’d hop on to the next blog. Reading the human emotions associated with the blogger and the interactive discussions is what separates blogging from traditional media.

Aside from common-sense , avoidance of personal attacks and posting non-bloggable items, how personal should a personal blog be?

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The Couple that Blogs Together Stays Together

bloggingThe couple that blogs together stays together. I’m just kidding of course. Aside from reading books, Butch and I surf the internet together, share sites of interest or we go blog-hopping before we call it a night. I think it’s really sweet that my ex-technophobe husband took an interest in my hobby turned business venture. Who would have thought he’d be blogging today? A few years ago, he snickered at the internet saying it was a waste of time. I’m beginning to think that people who scoff at it are just intimidated or clueless of technology. It took a lot of love and patience to teach him to turn on the computer, firing the browser, surfing the net and posting an entry. And today, we enjoy a common interest- blogging or reading blogs before we sleep. I know… how boring.

Oftentimes, it’s the little things that matter in a relationship. Let me count our simplest pleasures.

1. Sending email or chatting via Google talk at any time of day. I always close my email or chat with “your loving wife”, or “love and kisses” or “your sexy wife” “love you”. In turn he affirms my email with “Dear Loving Wife..” or ends our chat “see you , dear or I love you”. We never tire of saying sweet nothings to each other.

2. Gazing lovingly at each other. Someone told me that my daughter is so obvious with her crush because she kept staring at him. Guess where she got that quirkiness? From her dad! To this day, my husband gazes at me lovingly (on random moments) as if it’s the first time he met me. As if I am the most attractive woman in the world.

3. Buying me Flowers when there is no occassion. Butch rarely buys me flowers but there are those days when he buys a bouquet just because.

4. Saying affirmations to each other. There are those gloomy days that just get in the way of positive thinking . One way to empower the good in ourselves is through affirmations: the positive statements we make to each other : “I love you”, “You are good enough”, “Our life is good”, “I’m glad I have you”. Positive thinking doesn’t mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. It’s just we don’t dwell on the negative parts of our experience.

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a mom blogger who advocates constructive engagement in issues on family & society.
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