The Victim Trap

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Is it true that life has to be hard and difficult? The belief that life has to be hard and difficult is the belief that makes a martyr.

Using each problems that cross our paths to prove that life is hard and we are helpless is being a codependent. It’s the victim trap.

We do have power even in the most difficult times. The difficult times don’t prove that life is bad. They are part of the ups and downs of life and often work out for the best. Take a look at this example.

I am humbled by Belle’s Humble Beginnings. I have known a long time ago that she came from humble beginnings but details of which I only read in her latest entry. The lovely Belle is mother to two gifted and beautiful girls , one of which is a Payson Roundup’s Young Woman of the Year while the other daughter received a “Student of the Year” and the ““Most Improved Student of the Year” from Kiwanis. What pride and joy for this mother who experienced extreme hardships just to finish her high school?

Who would have thought that once upon a time Belle would wake up early in the morning to give me an early start for a three-kilometer walk to school or earned at an early age the art of ““supnit”, I learned to fish in the swamp using agahid (fish net), I learned to plant young rice plant in the muddy fields (such a back breaking job!), plant and harvest camote, make tiniklad (nipa shingles), harvest rice in the wee hours of the morning, and so on and so.

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Flowers for Your Birthday

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flowersOne of my fondest memory of Luijoe are the wild flowers he gathered from the park . With eyes twinkling as he held out the flowers, he scrambled up to my lap , gave me a hug and smacked a wet kiss on my cheek while uttering I love you so very much, Mama. Today it’s my turn to get flowers for my boy because July 13 is his 14th birth anniversary. But who says there can’t be a birthday cake, birthday present, or a birthday party?

Death ended my child’s life but not his relationship with my family. Even if there is no birthday boy to celebrate his 14th birthday with, I know that a spritual bond exists between us. As I gaze at the lovely flowers I bought at the Market! Market!, I marvel at God’s creation on the beauty of life. It’s good to be alive and to have survived the past 7 years of this grief journey. True, my son might not be around but his memory lives in my heart. We can still celebrate his birth anniversary at home.

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Breakfast at Portico 1771 and My PR Policy

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portico 1771
A few days ago, Lauren asked me “mom, were you invited to the Bloggers Breakfast at Portico 1771?” I checked my email and found the invite at my abandoned Yahoo email address. I thought it must have been Jayvee‘s idea. But no, he had no idea who invited us.

New media as a path to expand their online presence , perhaps? For many months now, PR agencies have been inviting bloggers to press events, parties, treating them to lunches, and sending them gifts and tokens.

My PR policy is a combination of Anton’s school of thought “for the awesome experiences which would include eating at a restaurant I can rave about or meeting awesome people. ” and Yuga’s third option of “full disclosure to your blog readers ”

A disclosure will at least serve as a warning to your readers if later on you make a positive review of their products/services, it was influenced in some manner.

I don’t go to all the events but a food trip is an adventure I don’t want to miss out.

Besides, how could I resist an opportunity to have breakfast with my husband and friends?

At the last minute, Lauren backed out because she couldn’t afford to miss work and scheduled it for Sunday. I was told to bring my other family members and a few blogger friends. Fortunately, my husband had a hearing in nearby Pasig City so a breakfast at Portico 1771 looked pretty inviting to him.

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Pinoy Moms Sexy New Look

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Hear Ye, All Ye bloggers.

We have a new look over at the Pinoy Moms Network (PMN) which officially launched its ezine format at 12 midnight . With the new look comes new content. As I write this entry, the section editors are still awake at this unholy hour tweaking their entries . This just shows how much labor of love went into this new endeavor. Connie is right in saying that “it’s even misleading to talk about how much blood, sweat and tears went into the transformation of PMN.”

Speaking of Pinoy Moms, I invited a few moms to a small intimate gathering as part of my mini 50th birthday celebration. Thanks Dine, Chats, Lisaflor and Jane for making it knowing you had family affairs to attend to.
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What I love about hosting parties is that I am forced to cook and bake. Ever since the girls went to college, I have relegated the grocery and marketing to my dear husband and merely supervised the daily meals to the household help.

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Christina Aguilera’s Message On Domestic Violence

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christina aguileraOh what an adventure watching the Christina Aguilera concert at the Global City last night. My heart refused to calm down after the one and a half hour concert. I had to lie down in bed and relax a bit before sleeping. Those loud thumping amps are bad for my heart. Anyway, thanks to Jenny of Globe Broadband, she spared me some VIP tickets . M was supposed to watch it with a friend but backed out at the last minute . I didn’t want to waste two (2) 7,000 plus pesos ($152.00) worth of tickets so I called my sister , Belen who agreed to watch it with me. Jayvee found it funny. I wonder why! Can’t a 50 year old woman enjoy a concert?

Abe and JennySo anyway, Abe and Brian , his younger brother along with Jenny and her fiancee also watched with us . The production numbers were impressive and fantastic. I can’t believe she’s pregnant as she pranced and cavorted on stage. Oh well, I ‘ve never been watching concerts of foreign artists so I can’t really compare. For a lack of a better description, let me point you to her interview about the concert:

As my fans know, I’m so into my visuals and making sure that the image that goes along with my music you know, definitely tells the story and kind of let’s my audience’s imagination run wild. It takes them out of their elements, whatever their day may consisted of, this is definitely a moment to just relax and enjoy a real show with all elements involved such as using your imagination. My dancers went into training to bring it, my album—it is a double album—and on disc two I’ve flirted and used different elements of the circus—an old vintage circus in my work and the dancers went into training. I’m so proud of them—learned how to stilt walk, swing over—what is it called now, kind of acrobatics swing, fire throw—there’s so many different circus elements that are involved in this show and it’s just super fun and the audience’s face whenever they see all of it, is just really, really fun. So, it’s a fun show. It’s really great. It’s one that you don’t want to miss.

I agree it was a fun fun show.

But what touched me about the concert was Christina’s Aguilera’s message about domestic violence. The pop star speaks out and penned a song “Oh Mother” about witnessing the abuse her mother suffered at the hands of her father.

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How Will I Know He/She is The One?

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How will I know He is the One?, laments Aileen. What a common question to most of the single people out there.

And I am going to give the same reply that Lauren whined about : You just Know

Before Aileen starts to throw apples at me. Ooops. Let me finish this first. I will list down some important pre-requisites before one meets THE ONE based on the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne (I will write a review soon). This is all for you out there who are searching for The One!

1. Ask the question to yourself: What do I seek for in The One? Yes, you might have already made a detailed list of your ideal guy. My daughter also listed the characteristics of her ideal guy. But does it stop there? Are you clear on the perfect lifetime partner for you? Is your list based on unrealistic expectations like hoping your future partner is exactly like your dad or mom? If you are not clear , you will be sending mixed signals and attract mixed results.

Start saying to yourself : “I want to meet The One with these characteristics and be with this person the rest of my life.”

I didn’t know it back then when I first met my husband that He was The One. I was thirteen when I listed down the physical characteristics of my ideal boyfriend . I even visualized how he looked like, a mestizo. The mestizos in Cebu belonged to the popular mestizas. And I didn’t belong in that class. Hummph. But I thought “Just you wait and see, my future boyfriend is going to be a mestizo, and he is going to be smart and sexy!” Of course at the time I met my boyfriend , I didn’t expect him to be my husband. After all, I was just a shallow teenager.

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The Lessons of Pain

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filipina
“Dear, if you google Sexy Filipina, I am on the first page.

“Whaaaaa?” My husband looked horrified.

Then I added “Try googling for Sexy Filipina Mom too and my blog is number 1″

I wasn’t about to see my husband choke on his coffee so , I quickly related about the Reshaping The Filipina Image Campaign through our blog entries.

“Isn’t it better for my blog to appear on the first page of those keywords instead of dating, mail order brides, exotic young Pinay babes or porno websites?

My husband agreed.

See, when I first read about the furor over the Sexy Mom internet handle, I thought it best to get over my disappointmet and turn it into a positive statement. The Smart and Sexy Mom herself wrote the entry, A Closure, A New Beginning–Reshaping the Online and Sexy Filipina Image.

That’s what I call turning a pain into something positive. There is a lesson when we are confronted with pain. Something big is being worked out in us.

There are an abundant of sources of pain in our life. Most of us grew up recovering from unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings sometimes from early childhood to the present that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support to deal with.

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