Through the years : ZsaZsa Padilla’s Eulogy for Dolphy

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What a beautiful tribute to the man she loved and who loved her as well. Zsa Zsa Padilla sang THROUGH THE YEARS during the Necrological Service for Dolphy – Comedy King at the Dolphy Theater of ABS-CBN yesterday. I recall in 1989 when Dolphy dropped Alma Moreno because of his love for Zsa Zsa Padilla. At that time, I also wondered in disbelief for his reasons. The public didn’t take the news kindly, that it prompted them to leave for the USA . For the next two and a half years, they lived in exile. The popular “John and Marsha” folded soon after . Without Dolphy, there is no John.

Through the years, Dolphy and Zsa Zsa Padilla proved that their love was real and strong. Despite the controversies surrounding the start of their relationship, Dolphy and Zsazsa Padilla stayed together for the past two decades and have two children, namely Nicole and Zia .He is 36 years older than her, and had relationships with different women before her, five of whom bore him his 18 children.

I got the following statement from Zsazsa Padilla facebook wall said .

“To Dolphy, thank you very much for being so proud of me; for giving me my two girls; for being so thoughtful; and for doing your best to provide for us. Kung mayroon siyang kapintasan, ‘yun ang pagiging sobra niyang mapagbigay. Mahirap magsabi sa kanya na may gusto kang bagay kasi kung mahal ka nya, gagawin nya ang lahat para maibigay nya sa ‘yo,”

What she and Dolphy went through was not easy.

“In loving the man I came to accept… Hindi po naging madali lahat ng yun. Pero he was worth it,” she said.

“Hindi ko na kailangan balikan ang nakaraan. Saksi kayo sa lalim ng pagmamahal na binigay ni Dolphy sa akin. At napatunayan niya nga sa loob ng 23 years kung gaano kalalim at katatag ang aming love story,” she added.

She said the family got closer when Dolphy was diagnosed with Stage 4 chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) two years ago.

“Naramdaman ko na talagang isang tunay kaming pamilya. Posible naman pala na kahit ang mga anak ni Dolphy ay nanggaling sa ibang nanay ay pwede naman kami magkaisa,” Padilla said.

Padilla also thanked television networks ABS-CBN and TV5 for supporting Dolphy’s career.

She said TV5 renewed Dolphy’s contract and continued to give his salary “despite knowing that he could never tape again.”

She thanked ABS-CBN for taking care of Dolphy’s legacy and preserving his body of work “for generations of Filipinos to enjoy in perpetuity.

“I know that this service will make Dolphy so happy dahil mula pa sa panahon ni Kapitan Geny Lopez, si Dolphy sa buhay, kamatayan at sa langit ay isang tunay na Kapamilya.”

I can’t remember when you weren’t there / When I didn’t care for anyone but you / I swear, we’ve been through everything there is / Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed / Can’t imagine anything the two of us won’t do / Through the years, you’ve never let me down / You’ve turned my life around / The sweetest days I found, I found with you / Through the years, I’ve never been afraid / I love the life we’ve made / Im so glad I stayed right here with you / Through the years

After the song, Padilla broke down in tears when she said: “Kagaya ng huling ibinulong mo sa akin bago ka mamaalam, lovey ko, I love you.”

Here are the lyrics of Through the years:

I can’t remember when you weren’t there
When I didn’t care for anyone but you
I swear we’ve been through everything there is
Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed
Can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do

Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … Through the years
I’ve never been afraid, I’ve loved the life we’ve made
And I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can’t remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can’t imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I’ve always been so glad
To be with you … Through the years
It’s better every day, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you … Through the years
I never had a doubt, we’d always work things out
I’ve learned what life’s about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You’ve turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … Through the years
It’s better every day, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years…

#RIPDolphy and learning about grief from the tweets of @ilovejamich

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Filipinos are mourning the loss of the Comedy King, the artist that made them laugh and lightened the day. My friend Samira says it so well ” Comedy brings us together. For an hour or so, we are transported into a make-believe zone where our everyday life is made fun about. We can actually laugh at ourselves and draw lessons from them.” Dolphy was so much a part of Filipino families for decades. When news of his death came out, no one wanted to believe it right away since it was not announced by a family member in social media.

Words of sympathy, feelings of loss were soon tweeted. One that caught the ire of the tweeps came from @ILoveJamich

Kasabay ng monthsary namin ay pumanaw na ang hari ng komedya 🙁 RIP Dolphy #Legendary #KingOfComedy

I didn’t know who Jamich was until I was told they were a youtube sensation. Clueless me didn’t know they won the #TattAwards and to think I was there that night.

Most of the reactions were anger towards their insensitivity. Their fans think there was nothing wrong with their tweet.

As an advocate on grief education, the tweet was insensitive to those mourning the loss. That single tweet felt like they were taking the solemnity and grief over the death of the Comedy king lightly. It felt like it trivialized the grief of others. The monthsary really had no place in that one tweet.

In times like these, words of comfort are all that will make it right. If there are no words, just “I am sorry” with a virtual “hug” will do. Perhaps @IloveJamich did not mean to hurt but they also need to understand why it didn’t come across well. Declaring monthsary and condolences in one tweet is just not appropriate.

Calling them out is the best way to make them understand not to do it again. Considering their fame, more attention is given to their tweets. We all learn from this not just @ILoveJamich

Why was their tweet insensitive?

In most of my meetings with the bereaved at the Compassionate Friends, a common complaint is the insensitivity of concerned friends or relatives. Of course, we know the depth of concern they have towards us but in their enthusiasm, they blurt out the most insensitive remarks.

Fans of Dolphy are also in grief and feel the same concern as the family.

It is understandable that the newly bereaved and even Dolphy fans are very sensitive to these remarks. Instead of bringing relief, those words just seem to add to the hurt and the grief. There are no words that will make it all right that someone we loved has died. But there are ways that can soothe the hurt, ease the loneliness and add to the healing.

Some think it is an over reaction

True, some tweets could be an over reaction but the grieving process is not the same for all. Just like each of us have a unique thumb print, each person grieve differently. So while some did not think nothing wrong of @IloveJamich tweet, others found it insensitive. Looking at the tweets, majority found @ILoveJamich tweets offensive.

Some ways to comfort the bereaved

Though this remark was in Twitter, it pays to know some ways to comfort. You can also check Words to comfort and compiled at The Compassionate Friends

1. DO feel free to touch , to hug and cry with them if these expressions are appropriate to your relationship. Tell them that you care about their pain and that you are sorry their loved one died. Avoid using I know how you feel, it’s God’s plan or God needed another angel. A simple hug can say more than a thousand words.

In social media, one can do it via a virtual hug or touch.

2. DO allow the grieving friend or relative to express their feelings, if they express that need. The pain involved in letting go, the anger, frustration and guilt are all a part of the normal grieving process, leaving them empty and without purpose for a long time. Allow them to tell you how they feel. Don’t tell them how you think they should feel. They just need you to listen. You aren’t expected to be able to take away the hurt or to have all the answers. Be careful of clichés, religious platitudes, or easy answers.

While some thought @IloveJamich was insensitive, the reaction of anger is part of the grief.

3. DO show your concern. Be there over the months on a regular basis. Allow them to tell you how they feel, and listen when they tell you. If you know a certain time of day is particularly difficult, do try to plan your visits to coincide with that time.

While this can’t be done on Twitter, it is alright to say that your thoughts are with the family and those fans who grieve along. One should not minimize the loss even if you don’t feel the same intensity of grief.

4. DO mention their loved one by name. It is comforting for the bereaved to know that others remember their loved one, too. Some people avoid mentioning the loved one’s name for fear it will trigger them of their loss. If tears come, then they needed to cry, and the tears may be tears of gratitude that you have given them the opportunity to share their loved one with you. If you have a good memory of their loved one, do share it. It will make their day and gives so much comfort.

That is why tributes are well accepted. It is comforting. So instead of saying the monthsary fell on the same date, one could just deliver a good anecdote to commemorate the Comedy King.

5. DO know that it is difficult for the newly bereaved to reach out to you for help. When you offer help, be specific. For example, you want to take them out for a ride, set a time and date. Make the effort to call, to come by, to help them out six months and even a year down the road. Crowds may be difficult for them. Shopping and holidays will be overwhelming. Offer your help.

If you are close to Mang Dolphy, any help is comforting as long as it is specific and not a general statement.

(For more information on how to help , here are some articles I’ve compiled on Helping Bereaved Family members.)

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Here are the reactions from Twitter:

Photo via thankfulfor.wordpress.com

Good-bye Mang Dolphy, the Comedy King

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““They say love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.” ~ William Penn

I grew up with the Puruntong-Jones family in my teens, laughing my head off during the darkest years of Martial Law. A few minutes of laughter can really lift one’s mood. Though just a teen, I was very much aware of the political condition but I refused to dampen my spirits. From Mang John Puruntong, Kevin Kosme, Pacifica Palayfay , watching comedy shows was a diversion from my troubled thoughts. Laughter does help relieve stress. I carry laughter with me wherever I go.

Tonight, the sad news of a man who brought laughter into our household passed away at 8:34 PM. The Comedy King Dolphy died at the age of 83. I knew Dolphy suffered pneumonia for last couple of months. No matter how much one is prepared for the death of a loved one, it still hits hard. The pain that comes along with the grief starts crushing to the core is just excruciating.

My condolences to the Quizon family.

There are just no words of comfort to console you right now but the Filipino people who have been warmed by his comedy are grieving with you. We pray the love of God enfolds you during your difficult times and helps you heal with the passage of time.

The time will come when the pain will not be so bad that his memory will once again bring a smile to your lips. What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. And you should always know, wherever you may go, no matter where you are, Mang Dolphy will never be far away.

As I always say over and over again, my loved ones are always in my heart. They are alive in my heart and my memories.

““To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” ~Thomas Campbell

May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared, comfort you now and in the days ahead.

Photo via Inquirer

Dedma or Dead Malice

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I had a falling out with two friends a year ago. It doesn’t matter who they are. It started because I felt the need to confront them about their accusations on a certain issue
. But no, they refused confrontation and eventually distanced themselves from me.

I grew up in an environment where direct communication is important. I feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them. The problem with non-confrontational people are they want us to speak in circles before getting to the point. Perhaps, I am not an acrobat of words but going straight to the point comes out rude and disrespectful to them.

Just recently, I met up with these friends. Funny how time heal wounds. Perhaps because I busied myself with pertinent matters instead of delving in those issues. Perhaps because I stopped gossip from entering my life. We talked animatedly as if nothing happened. Dedma? I think so.

Dedma is the attenuated form of the English words dead malice. Dead malice, in turn, is the literal translation of the Tagalog expression, patay malisya. It is conjugated thus: dedma, dinedma, dededmahin.

Source: Dedma 101

For the sake of diplomatic relations , I practice dedma. Is it being a hypocrite? Let’s look at the definition of dedma

1) To completely ignore/feign ignorance of the existence/presence of someone/something.
2) To snub, reject, or toss in the trash.
3) To pretend deafness or blindness in order to escape a sticky situation.

Definition 1 is more appropriate to my case. There are occasions when the best way to deal with a problem is to pretend it doesn’t exist. On such occasions the practical thing is to practice the art of dedma. I believe it is an effective tool when one wants to preserve family peace. I’ve always believed that we can’t change people, places and our past but we can change our attitude. My attitude is to acknowledge that they will refuse confrontation or discussion but I will just learn to live with it.

Just the same, it helps if people are a bit more direct. Indirect people , people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they’re feeling cannot really be trusted. We don’t know what’s ticking in their minds. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. It may catch us all by surprise. Directness saves time and energy. It lets go of martyrdom and silly mind games. It creates respectful relationships.

It feels safe to be around direct honest people. But if not, practice dedma.

What about you? Did the art of dedma ever help you in a sticky situation?

Growing up with the Puruntong-Jones family

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Dolphy’s critical condition suddenly brought me back to memory lane when John and Marsha aired weekly on RPN Channel 9 in 1973. In the early seventies, there were not many TV channels and interesting shows. Nothing much to distract a 15 year old teener. The cast always have me in stitches with their antics and funny quips.


Puruntong-Jones family(clockwise from top left Matutina, Doña Delilah G. Jones, Rolly J. Puruntong, Marsha J. Puruntong,John H. Puruntong and Shirley J. Puruntong. Photo via wikia.com)

John and Marsha TV show “starred Dolphy,Nida Blanca, Dely Atay-Atayan and Maricel Soriano with a cast of include John Purúntong (Dolphy), his wife Marsha (Nida Blanca), their children Rolly (Rolly Quizon), Shirley (Maricel Soriano). Later episodes show John-John, and the nagging mother-in-law Doña Delilah (Dely Atay-atayan). It ran every week for 17 years until 1990. ”

Growing up with Puruntong-Jones family until I had my own babies is quite a long time.

So what makes it so funny? For those who have never seen the series, wikipedia gives this short description.

Marsha Jones marries the impoverished John Purúntong much to the dismay of her wealthy mother, Doña Delilah. Although her daughter married the unemployed John, Doña Delilah often paid a visit to their house along with her maid, Matutína. When money was required, she would tell her maid Matutína to go sweep peso bills off the floor. Despite this, John rejects all the financial help Doña Delilah offers his family, the result of which is a hilarious exchange of insults between the two. The show ends with Doña Delilah’s loud catchphrase “Kayà ikáw, John, magsumíkap ka!” (“Therefore you, John, have to work hard!”) to insult John’s capability as the father of the household. They end up making amends, giving each other abrupt hugs with Doña Delilah exclaiming, “Peace man!” to proclaim peace. (Source: wikipedia)

In my teens, I could not imagine marrying someone who had no job. I found the whole show quite shallow but still fun to watch. I guess it was meant to be a satire type of entertainment. Lessons learned back then was that marriage is not simply just loving each other. One needed a stable source of income to meet daily needs of a family. Another lesson learned is laughing can be quite a stress reliever.

There are now calls to bestow Dolphy with the National Artist Award considering his outstanding contribution in the entertainment industry for decades. Dolphy played other memorable roles outside of John and Marsha.

Dolphy deserves this award. Millions of us appreciated his work for many years. Growing up with the Puruntong-Jones family was very much a part of our lives. Though technical reasons will prevent the National Commission on the Culture and Arts from giving him the award this year, things can still be fast-tracked.

““we should give it to the man who made us laugh for decades.”

Connecting to audio: via Bubbly.net & Ratsada Inquirer @dziq990

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Listen

If you want to hear my audio blog and radio show, here is the schedule.

1. Through Bubbly : Subscribe through your Globe. Dial the short code **8828 . You will hear a voice prompt telling you to press 1 to subscribe.

2. Through DZIQ 990 : Every Saturday 8:00 to 9:00 AM on AM radio DZIQ 990. Or follow on Twitter @dziq990. There is also livestreaming at dziq.am for those outside the country.

So I turned 55 years old last week with a bang! Who would think I’d embark on something so totally alien? Change can be disconcerting. Nothing endures but change.

What if I am a failure? What if it won’t work out? What if ? What if? See, I realized the key to change… is to let go of fear. It was the same feeling I got when I entered into blogging in 2006. What if no one reads me? What if? what if?

So many questions hounding me as I embark into the audio world: An audio blog at bubbly.net and as a co-host at Ratsada Inquirer at DZIQ 990 on your AM dial.

Bubbly.net

I first tried out Bubbly last month to add to my social media tools. Bubblyâ„¢ is a social messaging service where people share SMS and voice updates with friends, family, fans and followers. Think of Bubbly like ‘Twitter with a voice’ . It brings social networking to mobile phones. I first tried it out for fun because I think there are times when I won’t be able to post on twitter.

One day, I got a call from the Philippines Bubbly representative inviting me to be one of their premium celebrities along with Anton Diaz and Bo Sanchez to name a few.

This is how the app looks on your phone:

Bubbly is cool. At most you can listen to 90 seconds of update. It is neither too long nor too short.

How to listen to my Bubbly audio updates:

1. You can download the app through your iPhone or Android phone. Rates apply if you subscribe to my daily updates.

2. To subscribe to your Globe Phone, just dial **8828 and press 1 at the voice prompt . Rates apply. I believe it is 30 pesos a month.

3. You can listen to me for FREE if you are following me on Twitter since I do automatic posting there . My twitter name is @momblogger

I will be providing daily updates starting today. See, I am not used to talking so I had to practice my speaking voice on bubbly. Expect me to deliver constructive engagement in issues on family and society.

Co-hosting in Ratsada Inquirer

Ratsada sa Inquirer is an infotainment show every saturday morning 8:00 to 9:00 AM at DZIQ 990 which gives you substantive insights on the rundown of the news which happened during the week. It is hosted by Den Macaranas, veteran radio broadcaster and blogger Ricky Rivera. The latter invited me to be a co-host and discuss social media news.

I wasn’t too sure if I would be good. Since it is an AM station, it is a necessary to speak in Tagalog or Taglish. Tagalog is not my first language so I have problems with my accent and grammar. I can speak Cebuano though. During my first appearance on June 16 , I invited @tweetnirizal to join me. It turned out pretty well at least that was the feedback I got. My husband who I specifically told to stay away from the radio listened to it the whole time. He said I was good. Coming from him (my worst critic) then I believe I must have been okay .

Was it beginner’s luck? There I go again. So insecure of myself. I have to believe in myself that continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. My only security is my ability to change.

Listen

If you want to hear my audio blog and radio show, here is the schedule.

1. Through Bubbly : Subscribe through your Globe. Dial the short code **8828 . You will hear a voice prompt telling you to press 1 to subscribe.

2. Through DZIQ 990 : Every Saturday 8:00 to 9:00 AM on AM radio DZIQ 990. Or follow on Twitter @dziq990. There is also livestreaming at dziq.am for those outside the country.

If you have ideas on content, please comment below.

Yellow Boat of Hope so no child is left behind

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What does education mean to most of us in the cities? When my kids were then going to school, it meant yelling at them at 5:00 AM to wake up so they wouldn’t be late for their school bus when it arrives at 6:00 AM. Sometimes, I would drive them to school especially during exam days. Those days seemed stressful to me just because I wake up so early in the morning. I have had it easy, I guess. For most children, it means getting up and commuting through jeepneys or tricycles. Sometimes, it meant walking to school.

But for some determined children in Isla Mababoy, Brgy. Guinhadap, Monreal, Masbate, it means getting up and wearing swimwear just to get to their class. These kids are determined to get an education because it is their only ticket out of poverty.

It is a tough swim for the kids from Isla Mababoy. It’s a 300-meter swim (around 20-30 minutes) from the island of Mababoy to the main island of Guinhadap.

Watch this video:

Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation

I have been aware of Jay Jaboneta’s Yellow boat project since April 2011. His story of seeing kids swim to school in Zamboanga and doing something to help them touched me.

It started with a Facebook wall post and soon help poured in. Yes it was a life-changing facebook wall post. In less than a year, many schoolchildren have stopped swimming to school and help did not stop there because the project gives assistance to their families and community.

The boat’s name is Bagong Pag-asa” (New Hope), to signal a new beginning for the kids in recognition of their determination to obtain an education no matter the hardship.

The Philippine Funds for Little Kids NOW known as the Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation have since provided these communities in Masbate and Zamboanga, yellow school boats . It does not stop there. The Foundation has since moved on to helping support them through provision of other school supplies, medical/dental missions to their communities, scholarships and even through livelihood programs.

The Yellow boat for kids

Thanks to Eton International School and Jacqueline Marzan Tolentino for donating one yellow boat in behalf of my name (@momblogger in twitter) . When Eton International School invited me to deliver a talk on “Parenting in the new digital age” for their 8th Leadership Awards in March, I chose the donation of a Yellow boat for the Masbate Funds for Little Kids. It is our own small way of creating more opportunities so that no child is left behind in our country.

Let me share this quote from Jay Jaboneta which reflects what they are doing:

““The great thing a little lamp can do which the big sun cannot do is to give light at night. It shows no one is superior by size but by purpose. If we cannot do great things, we can do small things in a great way. Little things make a big difference to God.”

I am such a firm believer in being part of the solution, even small steps like that facebook wall post that changed the lives of 200 kids in Zamboanga.

We are all part of the solution.

YOU are part of the solution.

If you are interested to help, visit Facebook pages of Masbate Funds for Little Kids (Isla Mababoy, Brgy. Guinhadap, Monreal, Masbate) and ZamSur Funds for Little Kids (Lakewood, Zamboanga del Sur) or Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation.

Monetary donations

Yellow Boat of Hope Foundation, Inc.
Banco de Oro – Mayor Jaldon Branch Zamboanga City
S/A no. 3170134579
BDO Swift Code BNORPHMM

For in kind donations, you can send it to Zamboanga City, where is headquartered through:

Dr. Anton Mari H. Lim, DVM
Unit 4, Dian Hap, Bldg F, Nuñez St., Zamboanga City 7000
T. N. (062) 991 0226

For any inquiries, please email Jay Jaboneta at jay@yellowboat.org!

Remembering dad on Father’s day

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If my dad can only see me now, I bet he’d be proud of me. I bet he’d beam that wide smile , nod his head brimming with love. Whenever something special happens in my life, I call daddy out … “daddy look at what I am doing”. I often see this vision of my dad smiling over and over again.

I miss him so. Though he may not be here, I know he lives inside my heart and my memory bank. I carry my maiden name in honor of my dad’s memory . Much of who I am today is because of my dad. He taught me resiliency and hard work by living it. He passed on his wisdom, knowledge, love, and passion through words and action. When I saw my dad so busy attending to his various charitable work and the honors received from it, I often wondered if I could even be half of that.

I lost my mom when I was in college but dad took the role of a doting mother by visiting us often in Manila. He was never too busy for us. Always there for us.

Even until today…

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”

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The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines.” – Plato

To be 55 years old, my face is now marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. There goes my vision. Certain muscles and joints ache. Things sag out of place but yeah, I don’t mind what other people think of me now not even my husband.

With age comes some wisdom and acquisition of knowledge and skills that I thought I was never capable of. It is wonderful feeling to be 55 years old.

Bucket list? i don’t really have one. I love what I do now. My children are done with college and on their way to financial independence. I found a new normal by being connected to people through ” blogging, social media engagement and socio-political advocacy . To borrow the words of my friend Jane aka @philippinebeat on twitter, it “connected me to people of all walks of life — from ordinary netizens to advocates to politicians to celebrities, some of whom I now call real friends. ”

A good friend told me today that she could never be into politics. I know social media is just a drop in the bucket in the massive media arena. But if I can plant a seed for change, why not?

Social media is a venue to engage with our leaders, and fellow citizens to provide reforms or push an idea for positive change. I find fulfillment in being part of this change. The best part about being in social media is age is not a factor. It is the respectful exchange of ideas that matter the most. I know I may be opinionated and passionate at times …but you know, I agree to disagree.

With collective minds and shared visions, I know social media will continue to spread our message forming the viral wave pushing all the way to the long-tail shores.

Starting saturday, I will co-host a radio show and will talk of social media news rundown of the week. I won’t share the station yet because I have to see if I am any good in it.

Today, I will celebrate the lessons from the past, the future of social media and the love and warmth of friends and family. I will continue to enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to me. I will celebrate all that is in my life and all that is good.

““Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning

Sex, How Often?

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I happened to stumble across this article, how often should you have sex? and find it too sensational. What does one expect in an Oprah show anyway?

According to Dr. Oz, how often should you have sex?

A) Once a week
B) Twice a week
C) 10 times a month
D) 200 times a year or more

The correct answer is D.

D) 200 times a year or more

“If you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years,” Dr. Oz says. He bases the number on a study done at Duke University that surveyed people on the amount and quality of sex they had. “They looked at what happened to folks that are having a lot of intercourse over time, and the fact is, it correlated.”

Based on the recommendation by this bogus-looking doctor, the frequency should be around 200 times a year. That would be an average of 4 times a week. He contradicts his own question by saying that 200 orgasms can make you look younger. Orgasms does not equate number of times one has sex. Women are known to have multiple-orgasms. Anyway, I’m interested to see this Duke University study. As a researcher, I’d like to know the age group ,marital status and general health condition.

It’s not the sex frequency that can reduce physiologic age by so and so years. Healthy people with an active lifestyle are inclined to have more sex and hence physiologically “younger looking”. Unhealthy, lethargic or out-of-shape people are basically less attractive and will generally have less tendency towards sex and less desire to have it. It is very likely that persons who naturally want to have more sex are probably healthier in the first place. Looking younger is all about living a healthy lifestyle and attitude and maintaining a monagomous relationship. I agree that “having sex with someone that you care for deeply is one of the ways we achieve that Zen experience that we all crave as human beings,” and that “It’s really a spiritual event for folks when they’re with someone they love and they can consummate it with sexual activity … seems to offer some survival benefit.”

Then again, I believe that “someone that you care deeply” is that one love you want to spend the rest of your lives with .

Photo: “girls, girls, girls..” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved