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Grief in the News

Grief Gone Viral- Tweeting a Child’s Death

I’ve been there. I’ve been judged. I understand the anger of @Miltary_Mom when people started to judge her when she tweeted on the drowning of her two-year old son Bryson Ross in the swimming pool of their home in Merritt Island, Fla.

Shellie Ross otherwise known as @Miltary_Mom and who blogs at blog4mom.com tweeted the following:

5:22 p.m. – a breezy update about the fog rolling in and spooking the chickens as she worked in her chicken coop.

16 minutes later, , a 911 call was placed from her home saying that Bryson was lying at the bottom of the pool.

6:12 p.m. ““Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool.”

5 hours later, she wrote in tweeter ““remembering my million dollar baby” then posted photos of the little boy. (Some of these tweets and photos have since been removed.)


Then violent reactions errupted:

Not long after that, a firestorm erupted on Twitter, with strangers wondering what kind of mother tweets during a crisis. The debate has been going on for days around the Internet, with critics calling Ross callous (and suggesting that if she had been paying as much attention to her child as she had to her Twitter account, her son would not have come to harm) and supporters (many who know her in real life, and others who have never met her) describing her as a caring mother who reached out to her virtual community during a tragedy.

A local paper quoted Madison McGraw saying that ““If she didn’t want questions raised at such a painful time, perhaps she shouldn’t have tweeted immediately after her child died. A child is dead because (of) his mother’s infatuation with Twitter.”

In Madison’s blog, she points out that “Between the hours of 8:37 a.m. and 5:22 p.m (her first and last before son was found drowned in pool) she tweeted 74 times. ”
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President Cory Aquino’s Funeral Procession

““I believe that during these times, we should not forget that many sacrificed to regain our democracy.” Corazon Aquino
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My legs dangling from the makeshift platform of the media truck. I couldn’t stand up because I don’t have balance after I broke my ankle 4 years ago.

President Cory Aquino is an extraordinary woman that I risked my limb just to take photos of the funeral procession. Never did I imagine that it would take 9 hours. Just the other day, covering the transfer from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral took 5 hours which I thought was already a long drive. Never, ever will I ride on an open truck for half a day under strong rains, soaking pants, hunger, thirst, huge cameras hitting on my head, and being shoved by media just to take photos of an event. Unless of course, a president as great as President Corazon Aquino will come along. Maybe not in my lifetime.


Hear the outpouring of love and sympathy from this video I took from Manila Cathedral to Manila Memorial Park

The people who lined the streets for hours were just in the same position as myself. Drenched by torrential rains brought by Typhoon “Kiko” and enduring hunger and thirst as they waited for hours for the Philippine flag draped casket of our beloved President Cory to pass by, I can see it as a small sacrifice for a woman who restored our democracy. Our sacrifice is nothing compared to what Cory and her family endured to save our nation from the tyranny of a Marcos dictatorship. It was a small sacrifice for me as well to sit for 9 hours on an open truck because my balance to stand up on the makeshift platform of a moving truck seemed unstable for me to take snapshots of the unfolding scene.

I know it’s cliche to say that there are no words to describe the incredible outpouring of public sympathy today. I also have another reason: I am dead tired but I will update this entry as soon as I get enough rest. You will see photos of people rich and poor who stayed for hours on the streets to bid farewell to a great woman until her final resting place. The scene is reminiscent of the burial of former Senator Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino Jr. who was assassinated in 1983.

Here are the Photos of the 9 hour ride from Manila Cathedral to Manila Memorial Park. Dressed in a raincoat, holding on to an umbrella and removing my shoes, here is my labor of love, my tribute to a woman I admire.

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Manila Cathedral at 7:00 Am just before the mass started at 9:00 AM

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The funeral convoy started from the Manila Cathedral at 11:30 a.m. Here are mourners along the Anda Circle as they waved ““L” signs with their forefingers and thumbs to denote ““Laban” (Fight) . I do hope we Filipinos continue with the fight.

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Coverage of Cory Aquino’s Memorial Sevices: La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral

Update (August 5)– View Photos and Video of the President Cory Aquino Burial

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope. Corazon Aquino

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That’s me in yellow taking video footage as I held on to my dear life on the iron railings of the truck. Photo credits to Liyam

The stirring scene that unfolded before me as President Aquino’s cortege passed all the way from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral is just overwhelming. I had no idea that a huge number of people would show up. Traffic stopped. People got out of their cars, clapping, calling out “Cory Cory”. All people from all walks of life, either threw confettis, balloons, held placards “we love you Cory”. I got goosebumps just hearing the people cry out “cory cory”. Here are the photos I took as I joined photographers and media on an open truck which was positioned right in front of President Aquino’s cortege. I endured 5 hours of heat, thirst and cramped space just to take photos and witness the outpouring of love along the streets. Mind you, I usually don’t join traditional media for current affairs but this is a historical event. If you see the photos, I don’t think there will be anything like this in the near future.


Video Footage I took from La Salle Greenhills to Ayala Avenue

Here is a labor of love , videos and capture of 300 photos for those who couldn’t be there for her memorial services. These are just a preview of these photos.(videos after the photos)

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At La Salle Greenhills just before leaving for Manila Cathedral

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At 11:00 AM, President Aquino’s cortege left La Salle Greenhills. Our media truck was right in front of their truck but I was unable to get a nice shot from this angle except when the truck turned into a corner.
Read More »Coverage of Cory Aquino’s Memorial Sevices: La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral

Covering Cory Aquino’s Wake

(Update : Read my entry on Cory’s Funeral Convoy from La Salle Greenhills to Manila Cathedral)

It’s my husband’s fault. He woke me up at 6:00 AM and said that if I wanted to attend the Cory Aquino’s memorial services, I should queue by 7:00 AM. I arrived at La Salle Greenhills before 7:00 AM and the long queue outside the gates looked frustrating. I took my chance and requested for media accreditation from the Secretariat at Gate 2. Armed with my Media ID card from Philippine Online Chronicles I got my yellow colored media ID card. So here I am live-blogging, and covering Cory Aquino’s wake in La Salle GreenHills. Taking photos inside the gym had certain guidelines and I wish to respect that. I couldn’t take much of the President Cory Aquino’s casket but I took snippets of the people and activities that transpired today.

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Cory T-shirts for sale by vendors at 120 pesos each

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The line before the public viewing opened at 7:00 AM
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Grief over Corazon “Cory” Aquino’s Death

““I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life.” Corazon Aquino
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“Our mother peacefully passed away at 3:18 am of cardio-respiratory arrest” – Senator Benigno Aquino Jr.

Her son Sen. Benigno ““Noynoy” Aquino III confirmed that Former President Corazon Cojuangco Aquino died of cardio respiratory arrest at exactly 3:18 a.m. Saturday at the Makati Medical Center after battling colon cancer for more than a year. She was 76 years old.

According to two political analysts interviewed by abs-cbnNEWS.com /Newsbreak, Mrs. Aquino will be missed for what she symbolized.

““She’s most powerful as an icon. Like Cardinal Sin. No one else can play that role. No one,” said Alex Magno, a political science professor of the University of the Philippines.

I feel sad over her death and at the same time relieved that she didn’t have to suffer for long. My husband wrote a few weeks ago that we should “Let Cory Aquino die in Peace“. After having given so much of herself to God, country and the cause of democracy, why not give her this one last wish and let her die with dignity and grace ?

Her legacy as president is very precious to me. At the height of people power, I was 8 months pregnant with my first child, Lauren. It was a precarious situation with the massive cheating over the snap election.

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Michael Jackson Memorial: The Significance of Memorials

“Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him — so much.” — Jackson’s daughter, Paris-Michael, who broke down in tears.”

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Photo Credit via cnn.com

I gaze at the TV as I see the casket of Michael Jackson as it is being wheeled out of Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood Hills en route to the Public Memorial at Staples Center. Bedtime beckons me but there is one part of me that wants to watch the live coverage of Michael Jackson Memorial . To keep myself awake, I will write about the creative use of grief.

I know not all of you are Michael Jackson fans but I am a Michael Jackson fan so excuse me for blabbing away. Yes, he might not be a family member and my grief is so negligible compared to the devastating loss his family is experiencing. Nevertheless, grief is an emotion. We all had lost someone dear to us and even if the person is not a family member, the grief experience is very real. I established a connection with him through his music during my teen years in the seventies. I bet most fans feel the same way. No wonder you see the outpouring of grief. His music just touched their lives as it did mine in those crucial teen years.

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The Grief of Lisa Marie Presley

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
~From a headstone in Ireland


Lisa Marie Presley is obviously in grief. She is devastated. In her heart-wrenching blog entry, He Knew, Lisa is gutted and feels like she could have done more for her ex-husband, Michael Jackson.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

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Michael Jackson, Never Can Say Goodbye

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
~Author Unknown


The Michael Jackson I knew, loved and grew with during my teen years in the seventies

Screaming headlines are plastered all over. Michael Jackson, pop music legend, dead at 50. Michael Jackson, an icon of my generation. How we often played the music of the Jackson 5 during high school parties in the Martial Law years. I had all his records from Got To Be There, Ben, Music and Me, Forever Michael and even played some songs in the Yamaha organ or piano. I am one of his fans. The Michael Jackson in the seventies. I am saddened of his death because he played an important role in my youth, you know those moments when his music just lifted my spirits. They were my comfort songs during those days when being a teen was just rough ranging from unrequited (puppy) love, strict parents and snooty high school batchmates.

I’m aware that Michael Jackson has been known to be a weirdo and child molester who changed his skin color and appearance into that of a white woman. I don’t fully understand the circumstances of this strange shift in his looks. His looks have changed indeed but his music is there for keeps.

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Justice for Ruby Rose Barrameda-Jimenez


Image courtesy of Pedestrian Observer

Ruby Rose’s death was just so shocking that it took me many days before I woke up from my stupor to blog about it. Her death was just too gruesome that even a seasoned police investigator found it difficult to describe the circumstances on how Ruby Rose was handcuffed and gagged with packaging tape before being strangled with a steel wire and cemented in a drum, which was then sealed in a steel case and dropped in the waters off Navotas. Now how disturbing and horrifying can that description ever get? Yesterday, Ruby Rose was finally laid to rest. Her dad’s message just tore my heart out.

The grieving father, Roberto Barrameda, promised Ruby Rose that the family would continue to seek justice.

““We’re sorry that your daughters are not here to see you. But you must understand their situation right now,” Barrameda said in the direction of his daughter’s casket.

Hours before the burial, Judge Gloria Aglugub of Las Piñas Regional Trial Court Branch 254 denied the Barramedas’ petition to allow Ruby Rose’s children to visit the wake.

Judge Gloria Aglugub released a resolution denying the motion of Ruby Rose Barrameda-Jimenez kin to allow the children of the deceased to visit the wake based on ridiculous notion that the children were not willing to go to the wake. Oh come on!

I am so angry at the violent nature of her death and more so, when the judge denied her children from attending their mom’s funeral. Why are there so many legalities surrounding the custody of the children even at the time of the final resting rites? Despite the family rift, I know these kids love their mother and are grieving. Does taking away the kids’ right to their mom’s funeral protect them from further trauma? Sooner or later, Rose’s kids will know the real story behind their mom’s death.

The poor grieving children may not appear to be traumatized yet but they will surely re-experience or re-visit the loss every time they pass through a developmental stage. Grief and loss, when it takes place, cannot just be swept under the rug. Losing a mother is a real occurrence in a child’s world and we must allow that child to grieve. As adults and caregivers, we must do everything in our power to help them navigate that journey from sadness to hope. But does Rose’s father know that? or the judge?

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