LGBT kids and teens: Tomorrow Will Be Better

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We are all different, but we must embrace and respect our differences. We must come together through the very emotion that makes us human: love. US Ambassador Harry K. Thomas Jr.at at the LGBT Pride Month Reception

What a long but productive day. I treated my family for lunch in celebration of my 54th birthday because I wanted to attend the dinner reception of US Ambassador Henry K. Thomas Jr. in honor of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Pride Month in the USA. President Barrack Obama proclaimed June 2011 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. It is about time our country also take initiative to stop the hate and homophobic attitude. Last year, I was shocked and saddened by the suicides by young American kids who were bullied for being gay. I often wonder the extent of our Filipino LGBT kids who suffer bullying. Is our school system supportive? Is our society even supportive?

The US administration is taking steps to engage with LGBT communities even outside the USA. The Philippines can certainly learn a thing or two here.

The message is important. The Ambassador started off his speech with “I am gay.

I am gay.

I am gay.

Three little words.

Six letters.

Three syllables.

It is not a phrase that trips the tongue. It is not a phrase that should take lifetimes to utter.”

One need not be ashamed to say if one is gay, or lesbian . There is no need for condemnation. There has been so much discrimination on the basis of gender identity and bullying on young LGBT kids. President Obama adds that ” No one should be harmed because of who they are or who they love, and my Administration has mobilized unprecedented public commitments from countries around the world to join in the fight against hate and homophobia.”

I cannot imagine how many LGBT kids and teens hide their sexuality for fear of bullying. “Without other openly gay adults and mentors in their lives, they can’t imagine what their future may hold. In many instances, gay and lesbian adolescents are taunted — even tortured — simply for being themselves.”

I approached the ambassador for a photo op after the reception. After all, I gave up dinner celebration to attend his reception at his Makati residence. Ambassador Thomas laughed at my request and thought I should have given a dinner blowout instead of him.

But guess what? I celebrated with Melo Esguerra whose birthday is also June 14 and Harold Geronimo who celebrated a day before.

Now lying in bed, I read through the message of President Obama and searched for more information on US support of LGBT. What struck me most is the “It gets better project”. While many of these teens couldn’t see a positive future for themselves the, “It Gets Better Project” was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years.

Maybe one day, a similar initiative can be organized to help our LGBT kids and remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.

The wedding vows

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Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret

Our friends, the beautiful couple Alma and Mario Miclat share the same wedding date- May 5 with Butch and I. The difference is the Miclats just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary while we just had our Silver anniversary last year. Just looking at their photos, one can see that they still look young and very much in love. We have another thing in common. We both lost our beloved child eleven years ago. It is because of this unspeakable loss of our child that we found each other and co-founded the grief advocacy group, The Compassionate Friends in 2005 together with Cathy Babao.

I could not miss their celebration even if it took place in Sinag-Tala Farm Resort by the slopes of Mt Natib, Bataan. There is much to celebrate. The Miclats have gone through a lot- the Martial law, staying in “exile” in China and of course the loss of their daughter, Maningning.

The celebration was beautiful but what touched me the most was their renewal of vows by the scenic slopes of the mountain. I teared as I listened to Alma recite her vows. I am so sentimental but I found out my husband was just as touched.

With her permission, I am sharing it to you here:

Dearest Tatay,

Sa iyo, aking pinakamamahal na ama ng aking mga anak, kabiyak ng aking buhay, tibok ng puso ko, laman ng aking isipan, ang aking nakaraan, kasalukuyan at kinabukasan, maraming salamat!

Maraming salamat sa 40 taon ng iyong wagas na pagmamahal, pagsuyo, pag-aalaga, pagtatangi at pag-aaruga. Thank you for bringing out the best in me and recognizing and enhancing my identity as a woman, as a person, and as a human being. Thank you for loving me for what I am, for bearing with me, imperfect me. Thank you for being a most wonderful and loving husband, an OC critic who challenges my intellect, an exciting lover, and a true friend, my best friend, through thick and thin. Thank you for making me laugh even at the most trying times. Thank you for being a most loving, understanding and sensitive father to our children. And thank you for showing me how to love our people and our country.

In return, I promise to continue to love you; to even love you more, kahit ngayong maputi na ang buhok mo, kahit na hindi lamang ang buhok mo ang malagas kundi pati ngipin mo, kahit tubuan kang muli ng Goombu Roombo, at kahit uugod ugod ka na at di mo na matandaan ang pangalan ko.

I vow to care for you and to keep you in the many, many years to come. Aalagaan kita at sasamahan hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan.

I will continue to fight for you and even if there’s only one – me – left to do so, I will, with lots of conviction. Because I know you inside out and because in the last 40 years, I’ve seen your nakedness before God, the purity of your heart, and the truth and integrity that define you.

So in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, I will love you not only in this world, but also in the other world where there’s no more sickness, no more pain, no more evil, no more poverty, and no more exploitation of man by man. AMEN.

With much love, Nanay.

Mario followed with the following vow:

Alma, you are my soulmate.

We have made love under a Tipolo tree a thousand years ago.

In this lifetime, I did not find you in Marikina, Rizal where I was born in 1949.

Nor did I meet you in Tubod, Lanao where I had my earliest memories as a two-year old boy.

Gathering katuray flowers, wild tomatoes and kamote tops for lunch
in the NARRA resettlement of Masbate where Daddy was President Magsaysay’s supervisor-cum-legal tender guarantor and Mamma was nurse, midwife and medicine woman, there was no trace of you.

When our family proceeded to Olongapo, Zambales in 1955 and Daddy became the first ever Filipino manager of the American Navy Exchange while Mamma the first Filipina nurse in the US Naval Hospital, a little soul named Susan announced that she was my mate.

The soul world became confused. One named Girlie countered that it was her.

Mine looked at a Delia, an Eva, a Lilia. But they were not.

In 1965, UP in Diliman for me was a merry mix-up of souls in thoughts, beliefs, ideas, philosophies, ideologies and idiosyncracies. The caballero trees lining its avenues bloomed and shed their leaves in the cool months of February. I started looking for you.

I wonder why many names suddenly pop up my head this very moment – Olive, Nerrisa, Beth, Louie, Tere, Glo. (BoyM wants me to add Marita. So I add Helda and Samson’s Delilah. Some were fantasies, some felt real).

In the hot CPP-NPA country of Tarlac and in the cool breeze of Cordillera, cane, narra and pine, rice stalks, cypress and fern, narra, agojo and molave competed for my attention.

Suddenly you were there, listening to my lecture under a spreading acacia tree in Diliman. And my sight was nailed on you, as we say in Tagalog.

From then on, no weeping willows,
sky-rocketing maples, evergreens,
chestnuts, apple or tangerine trees
in Beijing, Liuyang, Talian or Tsingtao
could separate us.

I call you Nanay, for being the best mother of our children,
Maningning and Banaue and more;
and now mother-in-law to Dominic.

Nanay, together with you and our children,
we have built our home in Antipolo,
where we nurture the love we started a thousand years ago.
So it is the Tipolo, Ang Tipolo.

In this chapel of the Sinag Tala,
amidst a jungle of a thousand and one trees,
I promise to keep on loving you,
for another thousand, and tens of thousands of years.

Wan shou wu jiang, wo tebie ai ni!

Like a fairy tale, we continue to live happily ever after!

I just couldn’t help the tears of joy. I am so happy for them.

Butch and I plan to celebrate every five years which will soon come in 2015 for our 30th wedding anniversary. We hope to renew our wedding vows by then. I am almost sure that I will tear as I deliver it…

Mother’s day greetings from a distance

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“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. ”

My children are not with me right now. That’s okay because I have known all along they will live their own lives one day. Distance does not prevent them from greeting me on Mother’s day.

M sent me a lovely pink bouquet of roses through her dad just as I was taking my breakfast. She tried buying online , those flower delivery…but the rate they gave her was OFW prices which meant expensive. Why do businesses do that anyway? It is hard enough our children are far from us and they squeeze out their hard earned money.

Thanks to her dad, I got the flowers she wanted to give me. Thanks my dear daughter.

At about the same time I received the flowers, L sent me a text message. She is up north with her boyfriend and friends.

My husband did not want to miss out in all the fun so he thought of buying me a colorful bouquet too.

Later , he promised to treat me out to a spa and buy my favorite dish. No cooking today.

My mom is not around anymore. She died of breast cancer when I was nineteen years old. But remember – Your mom will always be alive in your heart . She lives forever in your memories.

For those whose moms are far away just like me, it is alright to send a bunch of flowers or even a text message . Reconnect through a phone call. This warms our hearts.

Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother’s Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill. ~John Erskine

 

 

Pampers Salutes Moms this Mother’s Day

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In the corner of my room, lies a chest full of photo albums. Feeling sentimental over the celebration of our 26th wedding anniversary on the first week of May, I decided to unearth the baby albums of my three children.

The years passed by so quickly but these photos brings back precious memories of those impish smiles, the snuggle hugs, the peek-a-boo moments and plane trips to Cebu to visit my dad. I cannot help but smile and tear at the same time as I catch a photo where I held their soft body close to my chest. The best part is when my babies want no one else to comfort them but their mommy. Oh yes, I had the best job of all because I am their mommy. And we all know how it feels to just want Mommy and no one else will do. Yes, that is me, their mommy.

A favorite place that offered a lot of fun and comfort was the park . They could frolic and run around without being afraid of getting hurt when they trip. Oh, how they twirled and romped around here, screaming at the top of their voices. The best part of being a mom is hearing ““I love you” which came along with a bunch of wild flowers from the park. These treasured memories are always in my heart..

The park is quite a distance from the house and I didn’t want these precious moments interrupted. I made sure I used the best protection from Pampers Active Baby. I only want to give my little ones the best comfort outside of their usual home routine so they can continue playing without interruption. I know they are happy because the greatest sounds on earth ring in the air. Those giggles captured by these photographs bring me down to memory lane. These memories also affirm my role as a mother . The best part of being a mom is that my children brought out the best in me just by learning about unconditional love from them. I learned love I never could have imagined, patience I didn’t know I had, and strength when I didn’t think I could take it any longer.

Through their growing years, I watched my children bloom and at times stumble. I held their hands and let go when the time was right. I helped them find their passions in life. Truly, I am blessed to give and receive love…just because I am their mommy.
Today, Pampers salutes moms this Mother’s day with a video celebrating the uninterrupted moments of love. Hundreds of Moms shared photos and videos of their Best Fun and Play Moments, Best Giggles and Laughter Moments, Best Sleep and Dreams Moments, and Best Hugs and Kisses Moments. The chosen photos and videos have been picked and featured in the Mother’s Day Video which will be aired on TV and will also win prizes from Pampers.

Mothers around the world are celebrating in their own way. You can also celebrate Mother’s Day with Pampers by watching the special tribute video featuring Filipino Moms and Babies. Visit www.facebook.com/pampersph to watch the video today .

What a joy-filled place we have as mommies. Happy Mother’s day Everyone!

Every wedding is a royal wedding

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26 years married today! Last year, my husband and I celebrated our silver wedding anniversary at the height of the miting de avance of presidential candidates. Today, we will just have a lunch buffet and probably just walk down memory lane and whine why our kids are all grown up. We miss our babies.

silver wedding

It is no wonder I tuned in to the Royal Wedding last Friday. I feel sentimental whenever there is a wedding. I am such a sucker for couples in love and tying the knot in marriage. I dragged my husband to sit beside me so we could watch it together and be sappy. My husband and I were steadies for 7 long years so I know the feeling of Kate as she finally walked down the aisle.

What struck me was the homily delivered by Rt. Rev. Richard Chartres, Bishop of London.

Every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

Butch often calls me his Queen , of course but sadly, I never refer to him as King more like a dashing Prince. Being in the metaphorical place of “king and queen of creation” is quite an honor. We did make a new life together as a couple looking towards the future. The new life took some time to set in as we had to adjust to each other’s quirks and peculiarities.

wedding

I recall Pope John Paul II quote on ” ““The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.”

The commitment was there alright. On the first day we were together as “steadies”, he announced to the world that we were getting married. That made me laugh. He was only 18 years old. How could we make a commitment so early in our relationship? A simple declaration of love just made it a reality seven years after. We were committed even at a young age. We continued that commitment in our marriage but I give credit to my husband for being the more persistent one. I gave up at one point.

See, we were two people in love and we always felt love would conquer all. It actually did in the end. Yet there was a struggle in our early years because we were not ready to let go of bad habits. The change in our way of thinking and attitude brought a renewal of heart and mind – a transformation.

Here we are today, with our love stronger than it ever was. Till then, our love constitutes the principle of our entire life and with the help of divine grace, we look forward to more years of togetherness.

Here are some photos of our silver anniversary celebration last year in two slide shows. The music is “How deep is your love” by the Beegees because that was our music when we first met in 1978.

Enjoy!

Slideshow of New and old photos

Slideshow of photo shoot with Mimi and Karl

Journey of a blessed family

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No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?
– Lee Iacocca

I felt so blessed during the beatification of Pope John Paul II. Perhaps because he once blessed my daughter at the Raigiubeleo celebration of the Jubilee for Children at the Vatican on January 5, 2001. It is indeed a blessing that a family member was touched by the Blessed Pope. I was deeply comforted upon reflecting on his thoughts on marriage and family. His teachings made me appreciate the trials and tribulations of our marriage as I recalled our 26th wedding anniversary, two days from now.

Marriage was not an easy journey, but my husband and I held on to our love and vows before God. Our union brought us three beautiful children, two with us to love and hold, the other to dream, cherish and love forever. Our bad times made our love even stronger. We made it this far for better or for worse and that calls for a celebration and a time for affirmation in prayers.

Continue reading at Philstar Unblogged.

Sealed with a royal kiss..

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““Always remember this: ‘A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses’.” John Lennon

Any wedding makes me feel so giddy and romantic. Next week, my husband and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary so I am feeling quite romantic. My husband and I were watching the Royal Wedding. Well, I told him to watch it with me.


(Photo via abc)

He sat just in time when Kate and William came out of the Buckingham Palace to kiss.

The first kiss seemed so tame. I guess they were feeling overwhelmed. When they kissed for the second time, my husband teased me. Haha , I think the second kiss was longer and more endearing.

I am happy for couples in love who tied the knot especially those that have had long engagements. Kate and William were together for 8 years . I know how that feels. Butch and I were a couple for 7 years before tying the knot. No wonder they are thrilled to be married. They have gone a long way. I read excerpts of the book, “Will and the Real Girl” from the Vanity Fair. “The path of royal love rarely runs smooth, and Prince William and Kate Middleton certainly stumbled along their way, not least over all the other gorgeous young women in the prince’s orbit. ”

Their message shows their sheer joy after all those challenges:

“We are both so delighted that you are able to join us in celebrating what we hope will be one of the happiest days of our lives.


An official photo of Prince William and his fiancee Catherine Middleton, released April 28, 2011. (Credit: Mario Testino)

The affection shown to us by so many people during our engagement has been incredibly moving, and has touched us both deeply. We would live to take this opportunity to thank everyone most sincerely for their kindness.” , a statement from Kate and William.

They even wrote their own prayer which I hope they will remember throughout their marriage when the going gets rough. Here is their prayer which all newly wedded couples should also bring to heart:

Prince William and Catherine Middleton have written their own prayer:
God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

While everyone else is busy with this Royal Wedding coverage, I curated photos and some Twitter reactions as the Royal Wedding unfolded.

BBC Breakfast compiled on the best bits of the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

On the Day of the Unborn, my daughter’s 25th birthday

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We must not be surprised when we hear of murders, killings, of wars, or of hatred…If a mother can kill her own child, what is left but for us to kill each other? – Mother Teresa

pro-life

As countries across the globe observe the Day of the Unborn Child today (it is Day of Unborn in Manila) , I will be celebrating the 25th birthday of Lauren , my eldest daughter. I don’t understand why the Catholic church here in the Philippines calls it the “Day of the Unborn” which pretty much sounds like some creepy horror movie like the “Undead”.

Those against the Reproductive Health (RH) bill say they are pro-life and label RH advocates like me as “evil” or pro-abortion.

Well, hear ye.

I am pro-life.

I am for the Reproductive Health Bill.

I am pro-life because I believe that all births should be planned and wanted by their parents.

I am pro-life because I don’t believe in abortion except for special cases e.g. mother dying of high blood pressure

I am pro-life because I believe women do not have to die during childbirth.

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The honeymoon phase

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“It was just that we had this phenomenal honeymoon relationship that just kept on going.” James Levine
macau-tourists-1

As my boyfriend placed the engagement ring on my finger, my eyes just sparkled with excitement. Nothing could stop us from getting married. We were madly, deeply and truly in love for seven years. What did I know about marriage? I saw my own parents fight, laugh, tease and get back together. It’ll be a breeze for us, I thought.

macau-tourist

Looking back at our 25 years of marriage and 7 years of steady relationship, I never imagined the challenges, the tears, the drama that befell us. The children just kept us together. On one of those dreary days, I thought , “how can we grow old together?” Would we become one of those old grumpy couples that don’t speak to each other in restaurants or one of those adorable elderly couples that everyone aspires to be?

Sappy as it sounds, it must have been love that pulled us back again or was it our little angel watching over us? With the kids at college and more time for ourselves to bicker or romance (take your pick), the quality of time spent made us rediscover ourselves as a couple and as an individual. For me, that meant, slimming down, trying to be fashionably smart, embarking on new ventures and becoming a healthy person inside and out. Having dramatic changes might have moved my husband to do the same.

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The art of love… is largely the art of persistence.

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Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Robert Frost

valentine-dayYes, it is Valentine’s day, another ordinary day for my husband and myself. Just like any day, we make time to have lovey-dovey moments with each other and a special ME time.

Today is special for other couples but for us, every day is special. We have never been out on a date during Valentine’s day in all the 33 years we have been together. I never really understood why my dear husband loathed Valentine’s day until a few years ago. He can’t be the Valentine’s Day equivalent of Dr. Scrooge. Butch is a very romantic person. He whispers the most romantic phrases ever and that’s probably the reason I fell in love with him. Now back to the reason for this Valentine’s Day aversion. I teased him, ““Will you buy me a Valentine’s gift”. He said ““I already gave you my gift”. He reminded me, ““Didn’t I just give you___ pataca for our Macau trip?”

“No flowers?”, I teased.

He says “expensive during Valentine’s day”.

I laughed. ““So it’s an economic reason?”, I joked. He nodded. Ah now I recall, Butch was only 18 years old when we first became steadies. Naturally, he didn’t have the money to buy me the overpriced flowers or presents. All these years, I always thought that he wanted to be unique. Kuripot lang pala. (or is it being thrifty)

The non-celebration of Valentine’s Day on February 14th is our tradition carried through the years. While restaurants are filled to the brim with loving couples, we will just have a date at home. I am not even sure if I have time to cook as I have a lecture in the afternoon.

Most likely, he will just whisper sweet nothings as always, while I reflect on the Bible passage of love that has carried me through the years:

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

Love never comes to an end.

<< 1 Corinthians 13 >>

Since today is Valentine’s day, you don’t have to be a couple to celebrate it. Whether you are a couple or single, the most important relationship you will have with is yourself. And the most important person in your life is YOU.

““If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”

Loving yourself is the best way to learn how to love.

Update

I arrived home tonight and received a gift from Butch.

valentine-day