dance night at Philippine IdolYou all know that I watch Philippine Idol as part of the live audience, at least in most of their shows. I take photos as I view the show because I blog about Philippine Idol. Let me give you a brief background on my reasons for blogging Philippine Idol. I am an avid fan of American Idol ever since Season 3 and have blogged about it since then. Excited that Philippine Idol finally reached the Philippines. I also blogged about it. I didn’t know that Google loved that entry so much . I found my Philippine Idol Blog ranking no 2 or 3 with “Philippine Idol” keyword. By sheer coincidence, my husband announced that we have tickets to all of the Philippine Idol shows because of his friend in Freemantle (the franchise owner of the Idol concept?). Since then , I have been watching the live shows.

my 2 daughtersSince it’s my daugher’s semestral break the past two weeks, I dragged them with me. Knowing they could be a snob to Philippine showbiz, I assured them that they will be entertained. Anyway, I know there are other bloggers who watch it live. One of my favorite Philippine Idol blogger is an ABC reporter, Jove Francisco because he reveals juicy insider tibdbits. Although I hear some gossip inside the studio , I keep mum about it.

After I uploaded my photos and wrote my entry, I visited Jove Francisco’s Philippine Idol Dance night entry and I was caught by surprise:

I also enjoyed the company of this great woman. Magkasundo kami sa comments, and it was as if, magkakilala kami kahit hindi. I know she blogs though, I read her kasi, all the time! Good thing siya nakatabi ko. (One forum guest noted na ““parang galit” ako last night sa upuan ko, my seatmate can attest to the fact that I wasn’t, ang saya saya nga namin eh, hehehe)

Could that be me? I clicked the link and lo and behold, it was my Philippine Idol Photo Blog. Talk about mutual admiration society! I didn’t know he sat beside me. (see screencap below) Haha, it’s a good thing I didn’t make a fool of myself or else Jove Francisco would have blogged “…There was this crazy woman seated beside me bouncing on her seat and waving her camera all night .” I am just kidding. Of course he wouldn’t do that. I wrapped some glow sticks around my wrist that night and clapped and danced on my seat as the Idol performers crooned and cavorted onstage. You must know that as live audience and especially those that are seated right across the judges, are told to do the following:

1. Look cheerful and energetic. Don’t look bored. Frowning is a no-no.
2. Clap everytime the show goes live after commercial break.
3. Don’t talk to your seatmate. Don’t text.

That night, the ticket ladies assigned our seats right across the three judges . I didn’t want to complain because earlier, I had whined over our initial seat assignments. It wasn’t the usual center seats. They gave us side seating arrangement but changed their minds as we weaved ourselves to our assigned seats. My two daughters didn’t want to be caught live on TV and requested back seats. In an earlier episode, I didn’t know that we would get panned by an inconspicuous camera set behind the stage. Horrified, I saw myself during a replay the next day. There I was oblivious of the cameras, snapping photos while my husband had this dropped jaw look. How embarassing. Talk about another one of my misdaventure as a photo blogger Part 3! Conscious of the cameras, I resolved to take photos only during the performance and quickly tucked the camera under my shawl when the judges started their critique. My husband straightened his jaw as the cameras panned towards him.

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UPDATED Read my blog entry, Desperate Housewives Episode on Some Med School in the Philippines

desperate housewivesI was desperate. I was desperate to get rid of my throbbing headache that had been nagging me for the past week. I took naps. I stopped using weights. I took anti-migraine pills but nothing would get rid of the pain. I visited the doctor and found out it was a muscle strain just behind my left ear. I must have overdid my weights. So I decided that I needed a break. I cut my computer work down to 4 hours a day and for the next 4 days, I did a marathon viewing of “Desperate Housewives” Season 1 and 2.

M looked worried . She was used to seeing me working all day. “Mom I hope you won’t get desperate”.

I laughed “You don’t have to worry. I have lived through the most desperate years and I am still here.”

My family teased me as I remained a permanent fixture at the family den, nibbling nuts as I cozily lounged on the couch. What was even funnier was they teased me to “Bree Van de Kamp”, the obsessive compulsive character in the movie. “Haha, I am not a Bree”. Yes, I admit I can be obsessive-compulsive. I love to cook special dinners, create crafts for my home decors, bake cookies and even icing birthday cakes for the children. I annoy my family by being too color coordinated during meals and such but I am not a perfectionist at all. I was being a “Bree” because I had to stretch the budget. During the kid’s birthday parties, I did all the cooking , baking and entertaining. Why should I hire a caterer or an events coordinator if I could do it myself?

I never knew how much all these meant to my children until I received a Christmas card from L a few years back. Instead of being rude about my desperation, L thanked me for the most magical childhood memories but added that she was clearly worried about my life. Those were the rough years when I was just newly bereaved and living a life of a zombie. It really touched me that my efforts to be a super-mom in their childhood was deeply appreciated. There were moments in their teenage years that I felt that I didn’t know them.

L chided “I don’t mind gourmet food, mom”.

M suggested “We should try turkey for Christmas”.

I smiled and continued on with my marathon. Okay, the show is very entertaining. It surely gave me the endorphin fix I needed to relax and ease my neck strain. I liked how they tackled the loss of a spouse, a miscarraige and loss of mother. Death is a normal part of life and dealing with the loss should be properly addressed to even if it’s just a show.

Desperate Housewives is clearly based on American culture with a few issues that I can relate to. REGAL’s Mother Lily Monteverde’s is planning a film patterned after ‘Desperate Housewives’ entitled “Desperada”. Gretchen Baretto, Dawn Zulueta and Ruffa Gutierrez are among the stars handpicked by the producer but intriques already arise among the three so the movie is on hold for now. I don’t know how our Filipino version will turn out to be. Oh well. If I were the producer, I won’t portray glamorous stars to represent the Filipino desperate wife. In the Philippines, a desperate housewife is:

1. making ends meet to fit the household budget.
2. if number (2) is not met, she is forced to work to augment the income.
3. if number (3) is not met, she will take a job abroad and be one of the millions of Oversears Filipino Workers (OFW).

Knowing Filipino movies, the glamor part sells more than the reality of life . After all , movies are the fantasies we need to escape the grim realities.

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betrayalThree months ago, I wrote about L’s broken heart. It seemed she moved on quite well with her life. L and P, her ex remained friends. It often puzzled me because from what I remember breaking up can often lead to broken friendships as well. I guess to them letting go means holding on to the friendship. It’s a way of easing out. Good for them to be able to sustain friendship even if love is out of the picture.

That was until yesterday when a furious L with two yellow plastic bags asked permission to go to her ex home. “I want to return all of his gifts”. L’s bloodshot eyes begged at me.

“My friend and P have been seeing each other”. I blinked.

Of all the worst betrayal, an ex and a close friend tops it all. “I’m so sorry” I blurted out. We continued talking about the betrayal and L convinced me that she needed to do this. I couldn’t drive her to the MRT stop because my car was already banned from the streets. I called for a cab to drive her over to her ex home.

Often we believe our friends will remain loyal to us forever. Betrayal stories like this is fairly common. It’s the reason M, my sister is in San Francisco. M’s ex-boyfriend and Teresa, her close friend decided to be a couple after they broke up six months previously. Teresa was gracious enough to ask permission from my sister if it was alright if they were a couple. An angry M said “NO” and warned her of her ex’ character. But Teresa’s heart didn’t listen. Seeing my sister so broken-hearted, I brought her along with me to a vacation in the US in 1984. M hasn’t gone back to live in the Philippines since then.

It also happens in marriage. Affairs have happened between a bestfriend and the philandering spouse. A friend confided in me that she caught her husband having a “texting affair” with her bestfriend. Okay, just because it’s “text messaging” doesn’t mean anything. It’s an emotional affair. An affair is an affair is an affair. Even if sex is not involved, it could lead to a full blown affair. My friend confronted her husband about it. The husband said that he didn’t take it that way and besides the text were friendly in nature. My friend hissed “Excuse me, how could ‘tell me your dreams’ be friendly text messages?”. Sooner or later , these text conversations will lead to “did you dream of me?”. My friend reported the text messages to her best friend’s husband. The latter was livid with anger that he nearly divorced her if it were not for my friend’s intervention. Apparently, their marriage was falling apart and the woman resorted to fantasies to distract her from the marital problems.

I hugged my daughter. “don’t worry dear, chaos and karmic backlash is the end result of betrayal”. Not only did my daughter experience another stab in her heart, the loss of “friends” is another cross to bear.

My husband was even more endearing and patted L’s shoulder. “just let me know what I can do”.

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All Saints Day seems more like a school fair to me except there are gravestones, tents, picnic tables all over the cemetery. The mood at the cemetery is festive with children running around, the ice cream man ringing his bell, the taho vendor yelling taho, kids playing with melting candle, teens surfing at the SMART BRO internet booth, food vendors raking in some sales from the crowd. It’s a yearly ritual for our loved one whom we love, miss and remember always. Once a year, we share that common bond with families with a similar loss.

The first All Saints Day for Luijoe in 2000 felt surreal. The marble tombstone felt cold to the touch but the laughter and the crowd reminded me that Luijoe is never far from me. To my dear son, my dad, my mom, brothers Oscar and Ruben, they have not really left us but just gotten ahead of us to their real home. The memory of my loved one is a part of my life forever. Today is a celebration that love never dies.

all saints day

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For the newly bereaved, November 1 hits them with the reality that it’s their first All Saint’s Day with their precious loved one. It’s their first time to honor the dead with the rest of the country. No wonder, grief is once again featured in the magazines , TV and radio. Last Sunday, Cory Quirino invited The Compassionate Friends to her DZMM radio program with the topic of “Handling Grief and Loss” . The thought of discussing the basics of the grief process in Tagalog caused me to panic. Can you imagine me struggling with words like “pagdalumbhati”? (if I even spelled that right) . How does one say “positive resolution of grief?” The best testimonials would definitely come from the newly bereaved parents who actively worked on their grief with help of The Compassionate Friends. I asked if I could invite more parents to the interview. I dragged 3 newly bereaved parents and Alma Miclat, a co-founder of The Compassionate Friends. A psychiatrist, Dr. Josefina Sayo served as the resource person on the grief process and explained that there is so much stigma attached to grief.

Typhoon Paeng’s update interrrupted the show that the one hour and half show seemed like thirty minutes.

What totally amazed me were these 3 newly bereaved parents who were able to express their loss and testified how sharing their grief truly unburdened some of their pain. We know that pain can never be totally taken away but somehow sharing it to others ease the burden in our hearts. And so The Compassionate Friends continue to come monthly…to meet, to hug, to cry, to laugh to listen and to try to understand another’s story. We come to love each other’s children that we never got to meet. Their faces become almost as familiar as our own children’s countenance and so incredibly dear because they were so special to our friends. In sharing our children’s lives and their deaths, they continue to live on through our stories and our pictures and we are comforted as we grieve together.

Sharing grief is a crucial step in grief work. No wonder my dear friend, Cathy Babao-Guballa started Grief Share, a new grief ministry for all types of losses.

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Michael Tan’s Opinion column on the “World’s Best Universities” which he based on the Times Higher Education Supplement-Quacquarelli Symonds (THES-QS) World University Rankings provided so many insights on the state of Philippine Education . I’m glad to see that the universities of my two girls made it to the top 500 , including two other universities. We can’t compare the Philippines to America, Australia or the UK. Harvard is the number 1 school followed by Cambridge. But take look at Indonesia, a country less developed than the Philippines. It had three universities, all state-run, beating us in rankings

Let’s look at how the Philippines did. The University of the Philippines (UP) came in 299th globally and 47th among Asian universities. I have to say that’s not too bad, considering how UP has had to plod along with shrinking budgets and with the flight of so many good professors. Trailing behind UP were three private universities: De La Salle (392nd), Ateneo de Manila (484th) and, talk about a photo finish, the University of Santo Tomas at 500th.

With slashed budget from our government, it’s surprising that the state university is still alive and kicking. When I brought M around the UP campus as an incoming freshman, I was appalled at Palma Hall’s old chairs, broken windows, and dirty walls. It was as if they had not done any cosmetic renovation since I graduated over 30 years ago. I was confident that UP had dedicated professors inspite of the decrepit state of some classrooms. In the beginning, M’s heart was really not into the state university. She wanted to join her eldest sister at Ateneo. I insisted that UP is the better school and for economic reasons, it was the better option than Ateneo. I convinced her that her maternal grandmother was one of the pioneer students of the UP Diliman Campus. It was my mother’s legacy to pass on the values and great education that UP had to offer. After much tears and several arguments, she relented. Today , M is full of gratitude that she chose UP.


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Globe VisibilityWhile waiting for our purchase at the drugstore, my husband starts “playing” with his laptop’s Globe Visibility Mobile Internet feature. Hehe, how I wish I had [tag]mobile broadband[/tag].

This afternoon, we dropped by at The Hub in Glorietta Mall to see if they could provide a demo for my Macbook. Well, we couldn’t because my Macbook needs this Nova Media launch2net (which cost Eur 75 ) to support Huawei E220 USB Modem. Haay. The [tag]Globe Visibility[/tag] sales representative in The Hub have limited knowledge and I am not a very patient person when my questions are answered stupidly. Simple questions on “what is the speed of [tag]GPRS[/tag]/[tag]EDGE[/tag]?” have to be asked from another sales rep. I better visit The Hub in the Podium since Marc swears it has better sales representative. (Edit- Visibility is now compatible with Mac . Software can be downloaded at betterthan3g.com)

I might postpone getting the Visibility [tag]Moblie Internet service[/tag] for now. You know, the only reason I need it is when I vacation in the mountains where my husband’s hometown is located 5 hours away from Baguio City. I told him I cannot be internet-less for more than 2 days for economic reasons. Not that I want to be online 24/7 but I just want it there when I need it. The nearest internet cafe is a 30 minutes rough road drive. Travel time to the mountains is no joke and I don’t want to just stay there for 2 days and traverse down the rough mountain trail on my third day. I envision lying down in a hammock, enjoying the cool pine scented breeze with my dear husband. That is my ultimate dream vacation.

I am not even sure if Globe has a 3G network in Benguet towns. The National People’s Army (NPA) maks it impossible for Globe networks to grow in these far flung areas. “sigh”. Smart’s 3G alternative seems cumbersome as it needs rotating the antenna to the right direction. Which leads me to the question: connectivity versus convenience. If I have to , I will choose connectivity and use my daughter’s laptop.

Now if only I can just test Globe’s Visibility mobile internet service before I get locked in the 24 month period.

On the way home from Baguio, I caught the colorful array of Christmas lanterns on the roadside of Gerona, Tarlac.

“I want to take photos” I begged my husband to stop.

The long stretch of bright [tag]Christmas Lanterns[/tag] was captivating. I had no plans of buying [tag]Christmas decors[/tag] but my husband (the Grinch) thought it was rude to take photos and not buy anything from the poor vendors. Strictly speaking, my husband isn’t really a Christmas Grinch. Ever since my son died in 2000, the holidays are the most depressing season for him. Next to Halloween day, the most difficult holiday of the year is Christmas. Christmas decors just remind him that Christmas is lonely without our little boy. Of course, we grieve differently . Christmas is a happy occasion for me. I digress. Anyway…

“Okay, let’s shop”. M and I started our search for the traditional Christmas lantern, the parol . There were probably more than 20 vendors all selling the same design ranging from flowers, butterflies, snowmen, stars, trees even a papaya tree, capiz lanterns and more.
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My husband ventured to the other side of the roadside stand. Much later, he surprised me with 10 colorful star lanterns strung together. I never expected him to actually shop for himself. Joy filled my heart. It shows that Christmas shopping wasn’t a difficult task anymore. Look at what we got…

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It surprised me that there is a scientific explanation for those drivers that are just stark raving mad on the road. Scientists call it “Road Rage” Disorder or Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I thought they were just rude , annoying drivers. Excuse me!

To you, that angry, horn-blasting tailgater is suffering from road rage. But doctors have another name for it – intermittent explosive disorder – and a new study suggests it is far more common than they realized, affecting up to 16 million Americans.

That’s an extreme case of road rage which [tag]anger management[tag] techniques might offer some help along with treatment with antidepressants. For those that don’t suffer from this disorder, how do they relieve their anger? I bet there are many constructive ways.

anger wall (enlarge) I never realized how many angry people there were until I saw Isdaan‘s Tacsiyapo Anger wall or rather “The Wall of Fury”. The sign said “Release Your Anger” (Ilabas ang sama ng Loob). Tacsiyapo means “shame on you”. Located along McArthur Highway in Gerona, Tarlac, my husband, M and I dropped by for lunch on our way up to Baguio a few days ago. What a novel idea! Painted on the wall where targets labelled as ex-wife, ex-husband, 5-6, intrigera, mother/father in-law,professors, classmates , manyak, intrigera, Boss, alcohol, gambling , casino and many more. There are just so many reasons to get mad if you let them get to you. (View Anger Wall Photo). At the Tacsiyapo wall, one can hurl your plate at the desired target. Hmm, did I see any politician’s name in the wall? There should be.

anger wall
One has the choice of throwing plates, mugs and even a working television set. Looking at the broken television set among the pile of procelain debris, I wonder if that person’s anger reached boiling proportions or he just threw it in jest. That TV set cost 1,000 pesos (around $20). Imagine that! Doesn’t everyone feel so frustrated at times that smashing something would really help relieve the stress? But breaking plates at our own home is such a waste.

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My husband chose a 15 peso mug and also bought one for M. I don’t think he was angry at that moment. Maybe hidden anger inside had yet to be released. M didn’t want to break her mug and decided to just bring it home. Feeling contented, we headed back to the restaurant to enjoy our grilled dishes.

me and my husbandSo next time you’re feeling angry over your long drive, take a break, and drop by the Isdaan Floating Restaurant Park Anger Wall.

amityvilleI’ve mentioned before of our plans to move back to the childhood home of my kids. It’s the house I sold to my paternal auntie so I could defray part of the medical bills of my brother who was sick of leukemia and had to be brought to the NIH in Bethesda, Maryland. Just when I thought the deal was going my way, my aunt pegs a price that we couldn’t afford. I thought that since I sold the property at below market value , she would also give us the same deal. I think she knows how much we want the property. Even if I didn’t expect her to sell it at below market value, her selling price was illogical. Feeling disappointed, I checked out the listings of 3 brokers in the same village.

To my delight, I found a house wthin my budget not far from our old property. The sprawling bungalow owned by Dr C, a single woman in her seventies and a US citizen is almost twice the lot size of our previous home. The interiors looked brand new. If the house was a car, the mileage is quite low. What I found interesting was an apartment attached to the main house, with a kitchen /living room, bathroom, and 2 bedrooms. Construction materials were of premium quality. Though I am not too keen on marble floors, I loved the overall feel of the house. And the price? 30% below market value. Amazing value. The broker told me that it was in the market for more than a year so the owner was convinced to lower her price. Hmm, although I was still cautious , I excitedly broke the news to girls. They were thrilled to have an apartment to themselves. My husband said “it’s really a good deal”. It was pretty much everything we were looking for in a home, and it was at a price that we could afford. After checking the title at the Register of Deeds and a mutual agreement to the terms, we were ready to pay earnest money.

Something ticked in me. “This is too good to be true”

Though I loved the house, I hesitated to commit to the sale.

“Maybe the street gets flooded?” I thought.

I went back to the village to sniff around for any clues to the house. I saw a small sari-sari (convenience store) store a block away from Dr C’s house. In the pretext of buying a diet Coke, I asked the lady if the street flooded all the way to Dr. C’s house. She shook her head “no. but did you know that her maid got stabbed a year ago? and died at the hospital? Her neighbors claim to hear eerie shouts every midnight. Too bad her killer was never found. No justice at all to the poor girl”

“uh-oh. No wonder Dr C is selling it so cheap”

I was quite peeved at my broker for not revealing the violent death of a household member. I asked for the details. It went like this. It didn’t happen last year but over 3 years ago. Dr C’s helper woke up early in the morning and was surprised to see their carpenter waiting by the door armed with a knife. She yelled at Dr C to run and lock herself in the room. The poor girl was unable to run back inside the house since the carpenter caught up with her and repeatedly stabbed her at the chest.

Ugh! Do we still want the house? I asked L what she thought of the eerie ghostly sounds, and the killing.

The curious writer in her squealed “Cool… a ghost in a house would be exciting and spooktacular!”

Haha, I didn’t expect that reaction.

i turned to M . “What do you think of the ghost?”

M, in an imaginative mode was more intuitive “I’m not scared of the ghost. What’s scary is the living. That killer could come back to kill the new occupants. Just like that Amityville House killer”

M is right. Safety is an important consideration. The back of the house was a vacant lot prone to burglars who can easily climb the fence. Even with high fence rails, it was still possible to gain entrance using ropes and steel cutter. Using an electrified fence is not feasible since we had cats.

Much as we loved the house and the affordable selling price, we had to let it go. No , we don’t want a Filipino version of the Amityville Nightmare.

So we’re back to another house hunting adventure. Have any ideas?

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(I’m in Baguio right now cooling it off)