Dealing with Grief: How our Christmas became a little easier to deal with

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1998christmas.jpg

For many years, my family greeted the Christmas season with great joy and heavy despair. Every Christmas without my son, I sensed my husband saying “I’m not ready yet….”I’m not ready for the annual flood of memories without Luijoe. “ Butch dreaded the sight of the cheerful Christmas decorations especially Santa Claus. I wasn’t ready either but I had two surviving children who wanted to celebrate Christmas. They experienced many magical Christmas memories so my daughter once wrote in a Christmas greeting card. How could I take that away from them? I tried to figure out how to handle the holidays I’m never going to be ready for in places I may never be settled in. I thought…as long as we have the stockings up and Christmas tree and cookies ready, then let the holidays come!

gingerbread garland

I decorated our new home (our new normal?) with the treasures that speak of our Christmas history, finding joy in the memories they sparked. As I caressed Luijoe’s stockings on my cheeks , the flood of memories spill out. It was even more stressful during the first Christmas without my son. I wasn’t ready for the clutch of pain that wrapped my heart in grief as I placed the ornaments on our tree. Oh yes, I have learned through the years. I brought some of the old, added a few pieces of new and practiced the art of blending yesterday with today in hopes of creating another memory for tomorrow. That’s how the “Christmas Angels theme” evolved in our home, in honor of our own angel, Luijoe.

christmas-tree

I created two color themes for our Christmas decors, the traditional red and green for the informal family den and burgundy, purple and silver theme in the formal living area. Maybe I just wanted to be creative and innovated for the sake of my new normal , my new life without my son. I never got the chance to be in total despair because I baked Christmas goodies like sugar cookies , food for the gods, fruit cake and the Gingerbread man cookies. I started the Christmas Angel themes as a symbol that Luijoe is not far from home, that he lives with us. Joyful activities like baking and decorating proved therapeutic as it evoked feelings of love for my children. I continued to survive because of that love. The spicy aroma of cinnamon, nutmeg and mace that wafted our house brought warm childhood memories. Blending this old tradition with new tradition helped me cope with grief during the holidays.

I notice the difference in my husband’s grief during the holidays. Butch is more cheerful. There are less tears yet I know the pain is still there. The heart never forgets, even when the world does. It looks like we’re getting better, improving either with time and patience. Or maybe because it is simply becoming a thread in the continuing fabric of our new normal. The fact that Butch bought Christmas Lanterns is a huge step in the grief journey during the dreaded holidays.

The change in mood happened six years ago. It came as a surprise when my husband wanted to go to Divisoria. I asked “what will we do there?”

His reply “buy ribbons”. I raised my eyebrows. We have never been to Divisoria together in the longest time. . Then he added “I noticed you are running out of red and green ribbons” . Wow, he noticed these minute details when in the past he was oblivious to anything that glittered in the household. I believe I learned to be more creative because of the artistic streak from my husband. He wanted me to have my usual supply of beautiful, color-coordinated ribbons to adorn our Christmas presents and cookie baskets. (Remember I have two sets of Christmas color themes?)

christmasdecorations

I look forward to the holiday season more than ever. I smile and sigh that finally my husband is able to handle the holidays a little bit better. I gather in my blessings and count them all. I count the blessings of the most important people in my life and I find the peace that comes with counting a holiday of joy remembered and love shared. Love never dies, and the light always shines in our hearts and home.

christmas family 2011

Other Articles on Coping with Grief during the Holidays
Handling the Holidays
How To Help Yourself Through The Holidays
Do I Celebrate the Holidays or Not?

A Mother’s tale of the Gingerbread Man Cookie Who Ran Away

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Gingerbread ManOnce upon a Christmas season, a mother baked Gingerbread Men cookies to the delight of her three children who eagerly waited for the cookies to bake. The waft of molasses, cinnamon and spices excited them. “We’re hungry, mom!”. The mother told them to be patient and promised to read them the Story of the Gingerbread Man as soon as the cookies were baked.

She got three cookies and laid them on a platter.

“Can we eat the Gingerbread Man now?” The children tugged at their mom’s apron.

“Let’s read the Gingerbread Man story first so you know the legend…” the mother said and left the platter of cookies on the table. The three children and the mother huddled around the Christmas tree as she began to read…

Once upon a time a little old woman and a little old man lived in a cottage………
The little old woman and little old man were very hungry and wanted to eat the gingerbread man. As soon as he was cooked, the little old woman opened the oven door. The gingerbread man jumped out of the tin and ran out of the open window shouting, ‘Don’t eat me!’……..

The mother continued on until the end where the fox ate the Gingerbread Man.

“Did you like the story?”

“It’s sad that the fox ate the Gingerbread Man in the end. Can we now eat the Gingerbread Man Cookies? We’re not like the sly fox.” The children discussed among themselves.

“Sure…get your cookies on the plate.”

The three children turned to the platter…”Mom, look… the Gingerbread Man jumped out of the plate. He’s gone. ”

The mom looked surprised “Maybe he ran away… Let’s look for the Gingerbread Man”

The three children looked all over the house until each of them found their Gingerbread Man hidden in their toy chest.

The kids beamed with laughter “Silly Gingerbread Man. The fox will eat you anyway. Don’t run away now.”

And so this mother carried this tradition until the kids were older and wiser to know that the Gingerbread Man didn’t really ran away. By now you know I was that crazy mother. Hehe.

I instructed the kid’s yaya to hide it discreetly while I read the story to my three children.

For the past 20 or so years, I bake Gingerbread Man Cookies only because my crazy tale and the warm fuzzy feeling of christmas memories give my two older girls some comfort. The holidays are a wonderful time to fill my home with the aroma and fragrance of Christmas through baking Gingerbread Man and Christmas cookies. I ‘ve baked all sorts of Christmas goodies like Lemon Squares, Fruit Cake, Brandy Cake, Apple Pie, and other bar cookies but the demand of Gingerbread Man cookies are high on the list.

Though I don’t read the Gingerbread Man story anymore, I hang the cookies up on the garlands of our kitchen and dining area. The kids share the cookies to their close friends and they often say that they have never tasted a Gingerbread Man cookie.

Sure there are a few Gingerbread Man sold in other bakeshops. I bought the Gingerbread Man cookie in other bake shops but it tasted mostly of flour. Maybe because it’s not that easy to bake Gingerbread Man cookies . Our tropical climate makes the dough difficult to handle. Constant chilling is needed. Baking at the right temperature is tricky. If underbaked, the cookie crumbles easily. If overbaked, the cookie taste burnt and bitter. Still, I am sharing my Gingerbread Man Cookie recipe and the story for all to enjoy.

According to my girls, it’s the baking of the Gingerbread Man Cookies that evokes childhood memories of Christmas.

16th Worldwide Candle Lighting Event

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Communities across the globe are joining in The Compassionate Friends on its 16th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting on December 9, 2012.


16th Worldwide Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting
 Where: Kiosk area of the Church of the Risen Lord,
 Laurel Avenue, UP Campus, QC
 Map : Check this google map:http://goo.gl/maps/fXzmQ
 When Date: Sunday , December 9, 2012
Time: 5:00 to 8:00 PM
Contact me here.

Here is a simple memorial which you can do at home with four candles.


Memory Candles


Read More →

Baroque Music is Not Your Ordinary Pling pling

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christmas village

The lighted Christmas Village caught the attention of my daughter’s friend as he entered our dining room a few Christmas-es ago I can’t remember now what Lauren told me but from what I recall her friend imagined that lilting Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling music playing in the background as we eat dinner and babble in our fake British accents. The way Lauren said Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling sounded so much like Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons”.

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Haha I was laughing out loud because it is sort of true. I don’t play classical music but baroque music, a big difference of which I will explain later on. And no, we don’t play baroque music on dinner time alone. I play it any time of the day and have been playing it since the kids were little. I even hired Bagting Hangin, a string and wind ensemble to play it during Lauren’s 18th Birthday Party.

Before I get any further, let me explain the display of the English Village set. The Christmas Village set reminds me of Stratford-upon-Avon, a town I visited many years ago in the UK. The town is a popular tourist destination owing to its status as birthplace and deathbed of the playwright and poet William Shakespeare. My walks in the breathtaking village is so memorable, the scenery is just picture pretty and forever imprinted in my memories. When I saw this village set offered for sale by a friend, I just knew I wanted it to be displayed in my dining room. The village set is not a pretentious display of shallowness and hypocrisy but rather a collection of memories of visits to similar cottages in Stratford-upon-Avon. The ancient church replica reminds me of that time I visited the Holy Trinity Church, a moment of calm away from the bustle of the town. Both the courtyard and the churchyard itself are breathtakingly beautiful. Okay so now you know why that Christmas Village sits there.

Now on to the Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling music with two reasons:

First, the objective was to calm Lauren’s nerves.

Lauren was a sickly child often getting ill with asthma attacks every month. With visits to the emergency room every month, I had to do my share in making her calm and relaxed to ensure a faster recovery. I gave her “Visualizations for Mind Calming” of which the objective of the exercise is to gain practice in visualizing while at the same time soothing the mind. Calm and peaceful scenes from nature were quite helpful in erasing worries and distractions. I often said it out in a soft voice to imagine walking in a park, or in the woods, sitting by the lake, a walk on a hill or mountain, countryside or any spot that I though had a particularly soothing quality. Together with this mind-calming techniques, I added baroque music (specifically in largo beat) to get into slowed down body mind/body rhythms and manageable breathing.

Why Baroque music and why the largo or slow tempo?

Researchers have found that certain music types ease the brainwaves into the relaxed ‘alpha state’ that is ideal for Superlearning. One form of this superlearning music is the adagio movements of many baroque composers.

The adagio movements are around 40 to 60 beats per minute. In many string concertos and other works, the adagio movements often encapsulate the quintessential thematic and emotional material. However it is their 40-60 beats per minute and slow rhythm that slow body and mind functions and allow an alpha state of mind. This enables one to excel in retention and recall of materials presented in 20 minute intervals. It is also great for relieving stress.

From Baroque Music for Contemplation

There is a huge difference between baroque and classical music. The baroque music composers are from the likes of J.S. Bach A. Corelli, G.F. Handel, G. Telemann and A. Vivaldi in the 1600 – 1760. The classical music is from the time period 1730 – 1820 and right after the Baroque period. So if you want to refer to that Mike Villar’s Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling, it’s actually called Baroque Music.

Secondly, playing baroque music was to enhance the creativity in my children.

As reported in Ostrander and Schrader’s Super Learning, research discovered that the ideal state for learning is when the brain is in a relaxed, but aware state. And when they say relaxed, they do not mean asleep, but relaxed, focused and aware. It is at this point the brainwaves run at about 8 to 12 cycles per seconds or hertz. This is called the alpha state. Alpha is simply a state when you are calm and relaxed, in a way similar to when you whistle a happy tune, or when you daydream.

Getting into the Alpha State can be achieved in a number of ways and most of us achieve it several times during most days. At this time the mind is clear, receptive to information, and rapidly making ‘connections’, realizations and joining up deep thoughts. Many an ‘AHA!’ moment comes when an individual is in “Alpha”.

Years ago when this research was beginning, scientists were startled to discover that a certain kind of music can put the brain into an accelerated-learning state. Listening to Baroque Music was the number one method of getting into “Alpha”. Again, the research shows that baroque music at 60 beats per minute causes your brain to produce more alpha [calmness] waves. This happens on both the left brain’s analytical hemisphere and right side’s creative spatial hemisphere. When both hemispheres are engaged, the brain is able receive more information. You can retrieve information quickly because the music acts as a carrier wave to long-term memory storage.

Not that I wanted my kids to be superlearners, I wanted them to be calm and relaxed and eager to learn to the best of their abilities. No one is too young or too old to enjoy relaxing baroque music. Let me show you a music list for baroque music. Mind you, it has to be the slow movements from Baroque instrumental music featuring string instruments that give the best results.

    Vivaldi, A.

  • Largo from “Winter” from the The Four Seasons
  • Largo from Concerto in D Major for Guitar and Strings
    From Baroque Guitar Concerti
  • Largo from Concerto in C Major for Mandolin, Strings and Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in D Minor for Viola D’ Amore, Strings and Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in F Major for Viola D’ Amore, Two Oboes, Bassoon, Tow Horns and Figured Bass
    From Vivaldi: Three Concertos for Viola D’Amore, Two Concertos for Mandolin
  • Largo from Flute Concerto No 4 in G Major
    Vivaldi: 6 Flute Concerti Opus 10

    • Bach, J.S.

  • Largo from Concerto in G Minor for Flute and Strings, BWV 1056 (2:53)
    Bach and Telemann Flute Concertos
  • Aria (or Sarabande) to The Goldberg Variations
  • Largo from Harpsichord Concerto in F Minor, BWV 1056
    Greatest Hits of 1720
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord, Philharmonic Virtuosi of New York Columbia Records
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord in G Minor, BWV 975
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord Concerto in C Major, BWV 976
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi
  • Largo from Solo Harpsichord Concerto in F Major
    6 Concerti after Vivaldi

    • Handel, G.F.

  • Largo from Concerto no. 1 in F (brass)
    from Music for the Royal Fireworks
  • Largo from Concerto No. 3 in D (brass)
    from Music for the Royal Fireworks
  • Largo from Concerto No. 1 in B-flat Major op. 3 (woodwinds and strings)
    Handel: Concerti Grossi op. 3
  • From Handel’s Twelve Concerti Grossi, Opus 6, any of the largo movements can be used

    • Corelli, A.

  • Sarabanda (Largo) from Concerto No. 7 in D Minor
    Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5

  • Preludio (largo) and Sarabanda (largo) from Concerto no. 8 in E Minor
    Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5
  • Preludio (largo) from Concerto no. 9 in A Major
    both from Corelli: 12 Concerti Grossi op. 5
    From Corelli’s Twelve Concerti Cgrossi, Opus 6, any of the largo movements can be used.

    Telemanm, G.

  • Largo from Double Fantasia in G Major for Harpsichord
    Telemann: 6 Fantasias for Harpsichord
  • Largo from Concerto in G Major for Viola and String Orchestra
    From Telemann

There you have it, Pling pling pling pling pli-pli-pling bringing you in “reverie” state of relaxation.

Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF gives kids the chance to help others. #GlobalTeamof200

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halloween.jpg

Halloween Trick or Treat is a tradition that my husband started in our family. As a kid, I never grew up in the Halloween tradition of the Western world but hubby did. Halloween Celebration through the years is a memory that my kids treasure because of the yummy treats and magical costumes. Though my kids are all adults now, I still decorate my home with Halloween themes without fail. I even got to join trick or treat in San Francisco when I visited my sister two years ago.

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It gives me joy to see that this tradition gives kids the chance to help others through the Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF project. What started out more than 60 years ago to help children abroad during World War II has evolved into a revolution driven by kids. Thanks to this project, kids all over the world receive the help they need for happy and healthy lives.

There are many ways to help.

1. You can order Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF boxes today!

Collect donations for UNICEF in your box by going trick-or-treating or by raising funds in your own unique way. The money you raise will help UNICEF provide clean water, nutrition, education and more to millions of kids in need around the world.

A brand new cast of characters are featured on Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF collection boxes. Meet Frank, Count Change-ula, Lady Pennyworth, Bertha DeBroom, Shadow, and Patches!

2. Trick-or-Treat Online

You can also create your own fundraising webpage and share on Facebook or Twitter or email friends and family to make donations and get the ball rolling! Get started here.

3. Create-a-Character Contest

Design and submit your own Halloween character for a chance to be part of Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF’s 2013 limited edition collection.

One winner from each age category (children 4–8 years , 9–12 years, 13 years and older) will be chosen and announced on Halloween, Oct. 31. You should order your fundraising kits while supplies last. The contest runs from September 1 through October 26.


Remember there are so many ways to help

  • Read the stories of boys and girls whose lives you are helping improve

It is true that for as long as we are kids (even at heart), we will be helping other children in need. Be a part of the past, present and future by participating in Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF!

Disclosure: I wrote this post as part of the causes of the Global Team of 200, a highly specialized group of members of Mom Bloggers for Social Good that concentrates on issues involving women and girls, children, world hunger and maternal health.

Videos: Media interviews in honor of my son, Luijoe

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Luijoe is 19 years old today. I still cry , tear, smile as I recall the day of his birth. My handsome boy, oh what would have he looked like at 19 years old? Someone once told me that there is a software that can give a photo of what Luijoe might look like today. I heard it is really expensive.

It is a fleeting thought because all I can remember is my impish six year old boy Luijoe with a twinkle in his eyes. My thoughts linger now. He would have been in second year college. I bet he would drive me to places. Maybe he would have introduced me to his girl friend? Would he still be so attached to his mama?

Do you sometimes feel that you want to rewind and freeze a moment in time? When I look at his last birthday photos, I just want to hold on and savor that precious moment.

Every year , I celebrate the birthday of my beautiful boy to remind me that love never dies. The celebration of his life reminds me that there is a connection between us. Sure, the physical ties are now broken . In its place lies a spiritual connection that goes beyond the mortal world. I am thankful for the six short years. I would not be where I am today if I did not find the courage to start a new life. The single most powerful factor in starting my new normal has been the realization that death did not take all of my child.

During his last birthday in 1999, we celebrated it twice: at school and another at home . Such happy and poignant memories. (I wrote more about his last birthday celebration here) I know the time will come when we will be together in the house he promised to build for me. He used to point to this blue and white house as I drove him to school and say “I will build you a house like that”. I know this is not going to happen here in this mortal world. While I live, I will continue on the mission that my son has left for me to accomplish.

Today, I will prepare Fiesta Ham and some noodle dish. Then my husband and I will visit his resting place, and bring him some flowers. (I will update this towards the end of the day)

It’s been so long ago . I never realized that I now became a resource person for grief recovery. Here are some of the interviews that I managed to record since I blogged here.. 2008 was the year I had the most number of interviews .

November 8, 2008 in Mom Works

A Mom’s the Word Feature in Mom Works hosted by Maricel Laxa at the Lifestyle channel shown November 7, 8 and 9.

July 2008 – QTV Sweet Life on The Child’s Grief

May 2, 2008 – Proudly Filipina with Charlene Gonzales

April 26, 2008 at Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho

A tribute to my son

Dedma or Dead Malice

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I had a falling out with two friends a year ago. It doesn’t matter who they are. It started because I felt the need to confront them about their accusations on a certain issue
. But no, they refused confrontation and eventually distanced themselves from me.

I grew up in an environment where direct communication is important. I feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them. The problem with non-confrontational people are they want us to speak in circles before getting to the point. Perhaps, I am not an acrobat of words but going straight to the point comes out rude and disrespectful to them.

Just recently, I met up with these friends. Funny how time heal wounds. Perhaps because I busied myself with pertinent matters instead of delving in those issues. Perhaps because I stopped gossip from entering my life. We talked animatedly as if nothing happened. Dedma? I think so.

Dedma is the attenuated form of the English words dead malice. Dead malice, in turn, is the literal translation of the Tagalog expression, patay malisya. It is conjugated thus: dedma, dinedma, dededmahin.

Source: Dedma 101

For the sake of diplomatic relations , I practice dedma. Is it being a hypocrite? Let’s look at the definition of dedma

1) To completely ignore/feign ignorance of the existence/presence of someone/something.
2) To snub, reject, or toss in the trash.
3) To pretend deafness or blindness in order to escape a sticky situation.

Definition 1 is more appropriate to my case. There are occasions when the best way to deal with a problem is to pretend it doesn’t exist. On such occasions the practical thing is to practice the art of dedma. I believe it is an effective tool when one wants to preserve family peace. I’ve always believed that we can’t change people, places and our past but we can change our attitude. My attitude is to acknowledge that they will refuse confrontation or discussion but I will just learn to live with it.

Just the same, it helps if people are a bit more direct. Indirect people , people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they’re feeling cannot really be trusted. We don’t know what’s ticking in their minds. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. It may catch us all by surprise. Directness saves time and energy. It lets go of martyrdom and silly mind games. It creates respectful relationships.

It feels safe to be around direct honest people. But if not, practice dedma.

What about you? Did the art of dedma ever help you in a sticky situation?

Connecting to audio: via Bubbly.net & Ratsada Inquirer @dziq990

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Listen

If you want to hear my audio blog and radio show, here is the schedule.

1. Through Bubbly : Subscribe through your Globe. Dial the short code **8828 . You will hear a voice prompt telling you to press 1 to subscribe.

2. Through DZIQ 990 : Every Saturday 8:00 to 9:00 AM on AM radio DZIQ 990. Or follow on Twitter @dziq990. There is also livestreaming at dziq.am for those outside the country.

So I turned 55 years old last week with a bang! Who would think I’d embark on something so totally alien? Change can be disconcerting. Nothing endures but change.

What if I am a failure? What if it won’t work out? What if ? What if? See, I realized the key to change… is to let go of fear. It was the same feeling I got when I entered into blogging in 2006. What if no one reads me? What if? what if?

So many questions hounding me as I embark into the audio world: An audio blog at bubbly.net and as a co-host at Ratsada Inquirer at DZIQ 990 on your AM dial.

Bubbly.net

I first tried out Bubbly last month to add to my social media tools. Bubblyâ„¢ is a social messaging service where people share SMS and voice updates with friends, family, fans and followers. Think of Bubbly like ‘Twitter with a voice’ . It brings social networking to mobile phones. I first tried it out for fun because I think there are times when I won’t be able to post on twitter.

One day, I got a call from the Philippines Bubbly representative inviting me to be one of their premium celebrities along with Anton Diaz and Bo Sanchez to name a few.

This is how the app looks on your phone:

Bubbly is cool. At most you can listen to 90 seconds of update. It is neither too long nor too short.

How to listen to my Bubbly audio updates:

1. You can download the app through your iPhone or Android phone. Rates apply if you subscribe to my daily updates.

2. To subscribe to your Globe Phone, just dial **8828 and press 1 at the voice prompt . Rates apply. I believe it is 30 pesos a month.

3. You can listen to me for FREE if you are following me on Twitter since I do automatic posting there . My twitter name is @momblogger

I will be providing daily updates starting today. See, I am not used to talking so I had to practice my speaking voice on bubbly. Expect me to deliver constructive engagement in issues on family and society.

Co-hosting in Ratsada Inquirer

Ratsada sa Inquirer is an infotainment show every saturday morning 8:00 to 9:00 AM at DZIQ 990 which gives you substantive insights on the rundown of the news which happened during the week. It is hosted by Den Macaranas, veteran radio broadcaster and blogger Ricky Rivera. The latter invited me to be a co-host and discuss social media news.

I wasn’t too sure if I would be good. Since it is an AM station, it is a necessary to speak in Tagalog or Taglish. Tagalog is not my first language so I have problems with my accent and grammar. I can speak Cebuano though. During my first appearance on June 16 , I invited @tweetnirizal to join me. It turned out pretty well at least that was the feedback I got. My husband who I specifically told to stay away from the radio listened to it the whole time. He said I was good. Coming from him (my worst critic) then I believe I must have been okay .

Was it beginner’s luck? There I go again. So insecure of myself. I have to believe in myself that continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. My only security is my ability to change.

Listen

If you want to hear my audio blog and radio show, here is the schedule.

1. Through Bubbly : Subscribe through your Globe. Dial the short code **8828 . You will hear a voice prompt telling you to press 1 to subscribe.

2. Through DZIQ 990 : Every Saturday 8:00 to 9:00 AM on AM radio DZIQ 990. Or follow on Twitter @dziq990. There is also livestreaming at dziq.am for those outside the country.

If you have ideas on content, please comment below.

Remembering dad on Father’s day

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If my dad can only see me now, I bet he’d be proud of me. I bet he’d beam that wide smile , nod his head brimming with love. Whenever something special happens in my life, I call daddy out … “daddy look at what I am doing”. I often see this vision of my dad smiling over and over again.

I miss him so. Though he may not be here, I know he lives inside my heart and my memory bank. I carry my maiden name in honor of my dad’s memory . Much of who I am today is because of my dad. He taught me resiliency and hard work by living it. He passed on his wisdom, knowledge, love, and passion through words and action. When I saw my dad so busy attending to his various charitable work and the honors received from it, I often wondered if I could even be half of that.

I lost my mom when I was in college but dad took the role of a doting mother by visiting us often in Manila. He was never too busy for us. Always there for us.

Even until today…

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”

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The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines.” – Plato

To be 55 years old, my face is now marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. There goes my vision. Certain muscles and joints ache. Things sag out of place but yeah, I don’t mind what other people think of me now not even my husband.

With age comes some wisdom and acquisition of knowledge and skills that I thought I was never capable of. It is wonderful feeling to be 55 years old.

Bucket list? i don’t really have one. I love what I do now. My children are done with college and on their way to financial independence. I found a new normal by being connected to people through ” blogging, social media engagement and socio-political advocacy . To borrow the words of my friend Jane aka @philippinebeat on twitter, it “connected me to people of all walks of life — from ordinary netizens to advocates to politicians to celebrities, some of whom I now call real friends. ”

A good friend told me today that she could never be into politics. I know social media is just a drop in the bucket in the massive media arena. But if I can plant a seed for change, why not?

Social media is a venue to engage with our leaders, and fellow citizens to provide reforms or push an idea for positive change. I find fulfillment in being part of this change. The best part about being in social media is age is not a factor. It is the respectful exchange of ideas that matter the most. I know I may be opinionated and passionate at times …but you know, I agree to disagree.

With collective minds and shared visions, I know social media will continue to spread our message forming the viral wave pushing all the way to the long-tail shores.

Starting saturday, I will co-host a radio show and will talk of social media news rundown of the week. I won’t share the station yet because I have to see if I am any good in it.

Today, I will celebrate the lessons from the past, the future of social media and the love and warmth of friends and family. I will continue to enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to me. I will celebrate all that is in my life and all that is good.

““Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning