Seven days after Typhoon Yolanda, and relief is slowly getting through. I will not talk anymore of the devastation but the many emotions that face us today and probably for the next few months.

yolanda typhoon

Denial , anger and shock are the initial reactions from this massive devastation caught on photos and videos. I was appalled when the President blamed the local government unit (LGU) In Tacloban for the high number of casualties. Blame is a natural reaction but I had to remind him that the local leaders are in shock. The local leaders in these devastated areas are also victims . They need help not blame which can be done another time. I was also horrified to read that the President kept harping on casualty counts when the best thing to do is to push for relief work. How can one stop this massive destruction? The people who were supposed to help were still in shock that is why a third party team is always required to step in. That should be the national government but apparently they too are in shock.

Yes, blame is also part of processing loss. Anger emerges. People grieve differently. Perhaps the President felt it too but decisive action needed to be done because the survivors need food , water and shelter. Local leaders are overwhelmed with so much loss that it causes them to make slow decisions.

I am aware of the emotions that come with grief and I know I should be a bit more patient. Yes I wanted to give some slack to our President but I needed to reach out to the government that lives are at stake.

I cannot even being to imagine the loss of the survivors . They are coping with multiple crises: loss of family members . loss of homes, loss of livelihood and struggling with pangs of hunger and thirst. Here is what the grieving process is like for natural disasters.

1. Denial- I don’t deserve this! It didn’t happen.
2. Anger- Why me? Who can I blame?
3. Bargaining- Maybe if I stay in my devastated property , my family member will come back.
4. Depression- I’ve lost everything; there is no hope.
5. Acceptance- I can get another job/home; it may not be what I had, but it will be something as I rebuild my life.

Each one of us grieve differently but it is good to understand the stages of coping. Even friends in social networks are in constant debates which I attribute to grieving for the loss of lives. My friend, Cathy says it in her Facebook status wall:

We are clearly a nation in mourning, and grief has many faces. I’m a peaceful person and I don’t want any fights on my wall. Let’s just stick to the facts. I love this post that a friend sent over today, it hits the spot.

“People are starting to fight with one another on my FB feed: accusing each other of being too negative, or of not being critical enough. Telling each other to stop talking about this or to start talking more about that. The way I see it, though, is that we are all in mourning. We are all one giant clan attending a relative’s wake, and we are all grieving in different ways. Some are indignant. Some are in despair. Some are focusing on the little details of what they can do, to get them through the immensity of the pain. And some are still in denial, or at least trying to put on a stoical face.

So I am trying to be charitable. And whatever mode of grieving we find ourselves in, let’s give each other a break and be kind enough, and gentle enough, to remember that right now, we are a nation in mourning.”

Once we accept the devastation and realize there is no turning back the past, the leaders and the survivors can plan a course for rebuilding lives. There is hope. Miracles happened during the aftermath. It is heartwarming to see all the Filipinos, here and abroad including our friends who have done their share in providing relief through donations or volunteer work. Indeed this is the triumph of the human spirit. While lives, homes and livelihoods were ripped away, babies were being born like Bea Joy. Babies are reminders that life continues on and we too will go on moving to a new normal.

baby bea

It will be hard work, but together with the rest of the country, we can do it.

In the meantime, here are ways you can help, donate or volunteer.

At the Villamor Air Base

!. Donate a teddy bear to the children. Drop off points are here.

send hugs to tacloban

This is heartwarming toy drive campaign brings bears and plushies to children displaced by conflict or disaster. They collect new and clean pre-loved stuffed toys.

How to donate to the Red Cross via SMS

1.Globe users donate (5, 25, 50, 100, 300, 500, 1000) by texting: RED to 2899. #YolandaPH #Haiyan

2. Smart users can txt RED to 4143. Amounts: 10, 25, 50, 100, 300, 500, 1000

Here are other payment gateways on how to donate to the Red Cross redcross.org.ph/donatenow page.

How to volunteer

1. Red Cross- Volunteers are needed to re-pack relief goods Volunteer sign up here, goo.gl/EruKjR

2. DSWD-NROC, at NAIA Chapel Road, behind Air Transportation Office, Pasay City . To those who’d want to volunteer, pls. call 8512681 for schedule. Click image below for more places :

dswd packing
Click to enlarge

3. In Cebu, volunteers for repacking relief goods may call Ms. Evelyn Senajon at 254-7198 & 254-8397 for more info.

4. The Department of Education needs volunteers to help in conducting psychosocial intervention and stress debriefing for students and teachers affected by Typhoon Yolanda. DepEd is prioritizing health professionals with training on mental health & psychosocial intervention by National Center for Mental Health or accredited organizations. Sign up here.

Photo via 8list.ph

Prayers-Let us send this to the families of the Tausugs. Some of them are reading our posts. (via
Yolanda O. Stern)

PhetandingKoBayanan

In Tausug version

Kainaan, duwa-ahe niyo in mga kaanakan amun nagluwas lungsad hasupaya kamu sumannang. Bang siya makauwih ha wayna kawul pag sarahakan na siya pa Nagpapanjari.,

Mga Kaanakan, anak takamu. Gulgula niyo ako iban ayaw kamu mabugha’, pasandunga niyo yan da ako ha raig niyo.
Hapag lagguh niyo, lasaha niyo he Inah niyo iban sin mga taymanghud niyo. Iban gulgula he amah mo bang hapag balik niya wayna kawul iban baytae siya sin kalasahan mo siya.

Kaasawahan, wayna sasakit sakit dain sin kalawaan kakasi. Duwaa kaw amun tiyaymah sin Tuhan in pagbaug niya iban bang mayan in Sabah makabalik da pa mga Ahlus Suluk.

Mga Kaput Balis sin Sultan: Bang mayan kamu halawum kusug, pangannal mahantap iban pangatayan malanuh misan pa in kaawnan niyo halawum kasigpitan.
Hitukbal ko kaniyo in sasalaman bang magdul in Tuhan makabalik kamu buhih.

Ha mga sila Timakliad na: Kamu na in mga tau gagandilan saltah iban sin dayaw, liyagguh namuh in pagluwas lungsad niyo.

English version

Hold Fast your Hearts!

Mothers, pray for the sons who went home with the currents to seek for you a better roof. If he comes back not to say hello, close you eyes and embrace the heaven at your feet.

Daughters, you are also mine. I hug you close and keep your fears so close to me. Imagine me next to you. Life will go on. You will grow up. Be good to your mother, brothers and sisters, hug your Father if he returns and tell him you love him.

Wives, there is no hole left bigger in a heart, than the one left by a lost beloved. Pray that he has entered Heaven and pray that Sabah shall one day, return to the people.

Royal Sultanate Force: May you sit in your hour of darkness with Clarity of Mind, Honesty at Heart, and Strength of Body for the fight that may not let you see the dawn . I will say my goodbye and if the Almighty bring you safely home, Heaven on Earth is possible.

In Memoriam: You are the gentlest yet the bravest men, we honor you in death.

“To children, stuffed animals like teddy bears are more than toys. They’re imaginary friends who are effective comfort givers in times of extreme stress and fear, helping them heal from trauma and tragedy” – A Thousand Bearhugs Project

My friend, Cathy Babao is once again spearheading the Bear Hug project which she started for the children in Bicol in 2006. Around this time last year, super-typhoon Reming (Durian) caused so much havoc in Bicol like no other. Not even World War two was like this. Cathy also organized the same Bear Hug project in Sendong stricken areas and the Negros Quake.

Bicol tragedy
And now Davao Oriental. I cannot begin to imagine their trauma in losing their homes, and even loved ones.

Storm “Pablo” “washed away entire villages and hamlets, wiped out roads and bridges; flattened cornfields and banana plantations; wrecked fishing fleets; and buried homes under landslides and walls of mud.

Sonny Tadanon, a fisherman and a father of nine, said at the evacuation center in the town of Davao Oriental recounts. ““I’ve lived here all my life and I am now 45, but I have not experienced anything like this before” .

Julius Julian Rebucas, told Reuters that his mother and brother had been swept away in a flash flood. ““I no longer have a family,” he said.The young boy recalls the last thing his mother said was  ‘I love you”.  ““It’s sad because I no longer have a family.”

When you hear this terrible news, one begins to ask is there anything one can do? There are many ways to help and one way to help out is checking our closet for plushies, stuffed toys or teddy bears that you can donate to the children of Davao Oriental.

teddy bears

Donate a teddy bear.

Send your donations to Sto. Domingo Convent, Information Center, 537 Quezon Avenue.

Please take time out from the Christmas rush to see if there are any stuffed toys or teddy bears your children no longer use.

Every bear that arrives matters because it counts towards making one more child happy. To share and to give is the true essence of the season. I pray that you help us make the thousand bears a reality. Think of one bear as one smile, one hug – one young life given joy and love this Christmas.

Two thousand years ago, a child was (and is) the reason why we celebrate the most important holiday of the year.

Photos from Inquirer


16th Worldwide Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting
 Where: Kiosk area of the Church of the Risen Lord,
 Laurel Avenue, UP Campus, QC
 Map : Check this google map:http://goo.gl/maps/fXzmQ
 When Date: Sunday , December 9, 2012
Time: 5:00 to 8:00 PM

worldwide-candle-lighting

Holidays are a season of cheer and happiness for many of us. For others it serves as a constant reminder of their loved ones who are no longer with them.

On the second Sunday of December, parents worldwide join together and light candles for their dead children.

For 12 years, parents gathered on the second Sunday in December in homes, churches, parks and gyms. Sunday night, families all around the world lighted candles at 7 p.m. in remembrance of their beloved children. It has been 4 years for the Compassionate Friends Philippines.

“You wish you could be naive again, go back to your life the way it was,” said Kristy Mueller, who organized the South Bay candle-lighting ceremony in Palos Verdes Estates in the USA.

“But you can’t,” she said. “You don’t get over it. . . . And this is a hard time of the year. When you can’t help but think about what you’re missing.”

For many of bereaved parents, this is a difficult month. Holiday traditions bring families together, but they also spotlight grief and amplify loss.

The company of other parents is part of what made Sunday’s candle-lighting so special.

candle-lighting

Our candle lighting ceremony is usually simple with traditional Christmas music being played softly, candlelight videos, poems read , stories of our children shared, candles lit — but it was packed with meaning.

13-worldwide-candle-lighting
A fellow parent wrote this poignant poem in Tagalog.

Sa Bawat Hakbang

by Vilma Dee

Sisinghap singhap ako’y nagsikap
Upang sa kalaliman ng dagat ako’y umahon
Tila ba sabik sa salubong mong yakap
Tulad ng hamog sa sariwang dahon

Unti-unti mula sa kawalang hanggan
Lagusan ng kamalayan aking narating
Tila ba sabik sa salubong mong yakap
Tulad ng maog sa sariwang dahon

Ano’t nasilaw sa bagong mundo
Sa dating payapa ngayo’y magulo
Tila ba lahat sabik ako’y masdan
Tulad sa hamog ng sariwang dahon

Di malimot unang haplos na iyon
Maipadamang pagmamahal tanging layon
Tula ba lahat sabik ako’y masdan
Tulad ng hamog sa sariwang dahon

Sa unang hakbang kamay mo’y kaagapay
Lahat ng gawin nais mo tayo’y sabay
Tula ba sabik na ako sa iyo’y matulad
Tulad ng paruparo mula sa kanlungan

Kay ganda din pala buhay sa lupa
Nguni’t di singganda ng tahanan ng MANGHUHULMA
Tila ba nagising sa mahabang paghimlay
Tulad ng paruoparo mula sa kanlungan

Sa piling mo nadama ko kaibang pagsinta
Nguni’t di singtulad ng pagibig ng MANLILIKHA
Tila ba nagising sa mahabang paghimlay
Tulad ng paruparo mula sa kanlungan

Iglap lang pala tayo’y magkakasama
Salamat AMA sa maikling magsasadula
Tila ba napagod sa pagsamantalang laya
Ngayo’y bumalik sa IYO puno ng sigla

AKING AMA, ako’y narito na
Dala ang masayang kwento sa lupa
Mula sa pansamantalang laya
ANAK mong ito’y muli kang bibigyang saya

A short video of our beloved children

 

““Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Amanda Todd shares her heart-breaking story in a YouTube video of cyberbullying that led her to deep bouts of depression and death by suicide.

This is Amanda’s story of the bullying , the cyberbullying and her death by suicide. (via Vancouver Sun_


“In stories and posts flooding Vancouver’s social media networks, #RIPAmanda is trending as people post news and condolences for the teen identified as posting the video, Amanda Todd.

In a post on its Facebook page, G Force Gym, Home of the Vancouver All Stars cheerleaders, wrote:

Today we feel the loss of our former VAS family member Amanda… I ask that we all watch her video and share her story so that her loss is not in vain. Allow this to be her legacy… Allow us all to look around & find the next Amanda before another precious spunky teenager is lost. We have a responsibility today… Is there a kid in your school that made a mistake and is being shunned? Your challenge is to be a LEADER … Be the Game Changers you are and sit with them today… reach out… smile… let them know that they are NOT alone in this harsh world. It’s always EASY to do the EASY thing; we teach you to NOT do what is easy and instead, do what is right!! You will be surprised, how many people will follow YOU when you stick up for what is Right and honorable AND, forgiving those that have made mistakes in their YOUTH is the RIGHT thing to do!!

In the video, the teen told her story that was printed phrase by phrase on sheets of paper that she held up for the camera.

““I’m struggling to stay in this world, because everything just touches me so deeply. I’m not doing this for attention. I’m doing this to be an inspiration and to show that I can be strong. I did things to myself to make pain go away, because I’d rather hurt myself then someone else. Haters are haters but please don’t hate, although im sure I’ll get them. I hope I can show you guys that everyone has a story, and everyones future will be bright one day, you just gotta pull through. I’m still here aren’t I ?” was the message accompanying the video post.

The video echoed another that the teen commented on through YouTube. That video, entitled My Story: Suicide and Bullying was uploaded by Mollydoyle18 on YouTube. It was clear from the comments that Amanda wanted to contact Molly in a private message and apparently she reached her. Commenting on Amanda’s video, Molly wrote:

““Rest in peace and fly high to Amanda Todd. I was just messaging her about almost a week ago, and I just found out that she has taken her life. She was asking me about how to be an inspiration to others and to get her video more views, and now I have found out that she has passed away… This is a terrible tragedy. I wish she could have had her happy ending.”

Bullying is NEVER okay. Rest easy, Amanda. I’m so sorry to her family. “

I cannot fathom the cruelty of these bullies. How does one even comprehend wishing someone’s death? Are kids all that mean? I have written before that bullying should be the concern of everyone: the school, the teachers, the students, the community and the government.

Amanda’s death reminds us that Bullying should STOP now.

Even if my children are all adults now, I still think of the children who may be possibly be affected by bullying. That is why I talk in schools about cyberbullying prevention. Perhaps cyberbullying is not as widespread in the Philippines but empowerment is the key. Children need to be part of the solution and not wait to be victims. I talked about taking the pro-active role in the prevention of cyber-bullying. I presented a video on cyber bullying awareness with catchy lyrics from Taylor Swift’s song entitled “Mean”.

Let us not wait for another death . All of us need to step up so others won’t get stepped on.

Bullying should not be tolerated. Bullying damages the physical, social, and emotional well-being of its victims.

““Bullying is NOT pre-wired, harmless, or inevitable
Bullying IS learned, harmful, and controllable
Bullying SPREADS if supported or left unchecked
Bullying INVOLVES everyone—bullies, victims, and bystanders
Bullying CAN BE effectively stopped or entirely prevented”

Everyone from the parents, educators, the students and community should stand up and voice out that bullying should stop. Domestic violence should stop. Preventing and stopping bullying involves a commitment to creating a safe environment where children can thrive, socially and academically, without being afraid.

STOP BULLYING. Make a stand to stop bullying in any form.

suicideI noticed something strange in my blog referrals. There is an upsurge of suicide image searches in my blog which points to the Suicide Prevention page. Thank you Google. That has been the trend for many months now but in the past two days, there is just way too much reference to it.

I recall the same upsurge when someone surfed on the sensational suicide death in 2008 of 19 year old boy Abraham K. Biggs which was viewed on justin.tv. He took a fatal drug overdose in front of an Internet audience. Although some viewers contacted the web site to notify police, authorities did not reach his house in time.

In this news article, Webcam of son’s death appalls dad , Abraham Biggs Sr. said those who watched and the Web site operators share some blame in his 19-year-old son’s death.

“I think they are all equally wrong,” he said. “It’s a person’s life that we’re talking about. And as a human being, you don’t watch someone in trouble and sit back and just watch.”

I know for a fact that these kids were taught to report any suicide thoughts of their peers to their teacher or school authorities. For some reason, they did not take him seriously because he had threatened suicide on the site before but this is actually a clue already. Most suicidal people give warning signs in the hope that they will be rescued, because they are intent on stopping their emotional pain, not on dying. But not many know that.

My heart goes out to the father.

“It’s a shame I wasn’t there to help him. It’s a big loss to me. I wish I was there to help him–since nobody else would.”

If parents of suicide victims only knew that their children would kill themselves, I am sure they would have done all they can to save their lives. Suicide is a significant cause of death in many western countries, in some cases exceeding deaths by motor vehicle accidents annually.

I have met a few parents who lost their children to suicide and never did they imagine that their child would kill themselves. They often ask themselves ” How could I have prevented it? or I didn’t know”

If you are a parent, you can read through this Suicide Prevention page.

Typical warning signs which are often exhibited by people who are feeling suicidal include:

    – Withdrawing from friends and family.
    – Depression, broadly speaking; not necessarily a diagnosable mental illness
    such as clinical depression, but indicated by signs such as:
    – Loss of interest in usual activities.
    – Showing signs of sadness, hopelessness, irritability.
    – Changes in appetite, weight, behavior, level of activity or
    sleep patterns.
    – Loss of energy.
    – Making negative comments about self.
    – Recurring suicidal thoughts or fantasies.
    – Sudden change from extreme depression to being `at peace’ (may
    indicate that they have decided to attempt suicide).
    – Talking, Writing or Hinting about suicide.
    – Previous attempts.
    – Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
    – Purposefully putting personal affairs in order:
    – Giving away possessions.
    – Sudden intense interest in personal wills or life insurance.
    – `Clearing the air’ over personal incidents from the past.

The presence of one or more of these warning signs is not intended as a guarantee that the person is suicidal: the only way to know for sure is to ask them.

I hope the boy’s death is not in vain. The boy’s father believes the webcast was a cry for help.

“But rather than get help, he was ignored,” Biggs said. “I would not want to see anything like that on the Internet and not try and get help for that young man. I think that’s what the average person would do. Any normal person would do. I’m really appalled.”

An average person really does not know when a suicide is about to happen. If most of us knew, then there would have been very minimal suicide deaths.

Somehow, I hope my Suicide Prevention page can help save a life in the future.

A final word: if you have a suicidal friend or family member, please don’t use the line Kasalanan yan (Thinking about suicide is a sin). The suicidal person needs medical help NOW. NOT a lecture, please.

Suicide prevention is everybody’s business. Suicide should no longer be considered a taboo topic, and that through raising awareness and educating the public, we can SAVE lives.

Suicide Prevention Hotline Numbers

USA Suicide Prevention hotline
In an emergency, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK

Philippine Suicide Prevention Hotline

Office Address: 2/F, 48 McKinley Road, North Forbes Park, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Office Phones: +63 2 8931893 /8106233
Fax: +63 2 8931892
Website: www.in-touch.org
E-mail: intouch@i-manila.com.ph
Crisis Line: +63 2 8937603 /+63 2 8937606 (24/7)
Mobile Text messaging: type hello crisisline and send to 2333 (Globe) or 211 (Smart)

“There is sadness in parting, but it should fill us with new hope.” – Fr. Ambrose

Fr. Kulandairaj Ambrose of Missionaries of the Poor delivered a beautiful homily for Secretary Robredo. I like this quote the most “Sec. Jesse passed away doing what he loved the most, going home.”

Here are some snippets which I culled from @piahontiveros and others from twitter. You can also watch the video below from @ancalerts:

Some quotable quotes from his homily:

“Ninoy said the Filipino is worthdyingfor. Today, another great Filipino, SecJesse hasshown every Filipino is worth dying for.”

I met Jesse 20 years ago. 2 things impressed me about Mayor Jesse. He was a MAN OF THE FAMILY and a MAN OF THE POOR.

“Why me? When Atty Leni asked if I would celebrate the mass? A simple missionary priest…

“I am a priest of the missionaries of the poor from Jamaica.”

“I speak in behalf of the tsinelas people.”

Typhoon Reming, 2006. I was shocked when the Mayor’s car drove into our center. He came to find out if everyone was safe.

He was always there for us.He was there whenever we needed him. and even when we didn’t need him.

Who is the other woman in the life of Mayor Jesse, Bicolanos?? Ina! Viva la Virgen!

The VOPs. The very ordinary people. His “inclusivist” attitude.

to the family: in you we see Sec Jesse’s spirit of humility.

He was there for you. He was there for me. He was there for everyone. We all felt appreciated by Sec. Jesse.

in you we see Sec Jesse’s spirit of humility.

Sec. Jesse passed away doing what he loved the most, going home.

There is sadness in parting, but it should fill us with new hope.”

And finally, Atty. Leni Robredo speaks after accepting Legion of Honor for Sec. Robredo

Atty Leni Robredo says ” Maybe for him, it was the perfect end for a life well-lived.”

We are devastated by your loss but even as we grieve we will continue to live because your spirit lives with us

“I will not say goodbye because I know that you will never leave us. You are home now. We will love you forever.”

You are home now, where you truly belong. Rest now, we will love you forever.

Here are some heartfelt reactions on twitter.

““They say love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.” ~ William Penn

I know it was bound to happen. Nobody wanted to lose hope until the wreckage was found.

When I tuned in to ANC news, the face of Sec Mar Roxas told it all. At 7:45 AM, the fuselage was found with unidentified bodies in it. Mar Roxas brought the bad news slowly. His voice was filled with emotion when he announced that at 8:15 AM, the body of Secretary Robredo was clearly identified.

It is a sad day. The Philippines lost a good man. As TJ Manotoc said it in Twitter “Rest In Peace Sec Robredo. May your work inspire a generation to continue to serve this country full of heart & integrity just like you did”

Sec Robredo reminds me so much of my beloved brother Ruben who died so young too.

Let me share an email I received a few minutes after:

I had been praying that he survived the crash, just like millions of Filipinos did. But this morning, we lost the one honest and competent government official that this administration had.

I have never shed a tear for any government official or politician, not even during Ninoy Aquino’s death. But this morning, I shed tears for Sec. Robredo. I grieve for the many good things he could have done for the Filipinos.

He was 54 years old. May his soul be at peace and go straight to Heaven. May his family find comfort in the thought that he was a contemporary Filipino ‘hero’.

John Silva in facebook says it well “There was a good and upright man called Jesse. There will be others. Instead of mourning too long, let’s figure out what we can do to carry on his good work. ”

The Robredo family lost a family man, a father and a husband and so with the families of the pilots (Captain Jessup Bahinting and Nepalese flight student Kshitiz Chand)

Condolences, feelings of sadness now flood twitter. Tweeps share their condolences and give thanks to Sec. Robredo with the hashtag #SalamatSecJesse

What a beautiful tribute to the man she loved and who loved her as well. Zsa Zsa Padilla sang THROUGH THE YEARS during the Necrological Service for Dolphy – Comedy King at the Dolphy Theater of ABS-CBN yesterday. I recall in 1989 when Dolphy dropped Alma Moreno because of his love for Zsa Zsa Padilla. At that time, I also wondered in disbelief for his reasons. The public didn’t take the news kindly, that it prompted them to leave for the USA . For the next two and a half years, they lived in exile. The popular “John and Marsha” folded soon after . Without Dolphy, there is no John.

Through the years, Dolphy and Zsa Zsa Padilla proved that their love was real and strong. Despite the controversies surrounding the start of their relationship, Dolphy and Zsazsa Padilla stayed together for the past two decades and have two children, namely Nicole and Zia .He is 36 years older than her, and had relationships with different women before her, five of whom bore him his 18 children.

I got the following statement from Zsazsa Padilla facebook wall said .

“To Dolphy, thank you very much for being so proud of me; for giving me my two girls; for being so thoughtful; and for doing your best to provide for us. Kung mayroon siyang kapintasan, ‘yun ang pagiging sobra niyang mapagbigay. Mahirap magsabi sa kanya na may gusto kang bagay kasi kung mahal ka nya, gagawin nya ang lahat para maibigay nya sa ‘yo,”

What she and Dolphy went through was not easy.

“In loving the man I came to accept… Hindi po naging madali lahat ng yun. Pero he was worth it,” she said.

“Hindi ko na kailangan balikan ang nakaraan. Saksi kayo sa lalim ng pagmamahal na binigay ni Dolphy sa akin. At napatunayan niya nga sa loob ng 23 years kung gaano kalalim at katatag ang aming love story,” she added.

She said the family got closer when Dolphy was diagnosed with Stage 4 chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) two years ago.

“Naramdaman ko na talagang isang tunay kaming pamilya. Posible naman pala na kahit ang mga anak ni Dolphy ay nanggaling sa ibang nanay ay pwede naman kami magkaisa,” Padilla said.

Padilla also thanked television networks ABS-CBN and TV5 for supporting Dolphy’s career.

She said TV5 renewed Dolphy’s contract and continued to give his salary “despite knowing that he could never tape again.”

She thanked ABS-CBN for taking care of Dolphy’s legacy and preserving his body of work “for generations of Filipinos to enjoy in perpetuity.

“I know that this service will make Dolphy so happy dahil mula pa sa panahon ni Kapitan Geny Lopez, si Dolphy sa buhay, kamatayan at sa langit ay isang tunay na Kapamilya.”

I can’t remember when you weren’t there / When I didn’t care for anyone but you / I swear, we’ve been through everything there is / Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed / Can’t imagine anything the two of us won’t do / Through the years, you’ve never let me down / You’ve turned my life around / The sweetest days I found, I found with you / Through the years, I’ve never been afraid / I love the life we’ve made / Im so glad I stayed right here with you / Through the years

After the song, Padilla broke down in tears when she said: “Kagaya ng huling ibinulong mo sa akin bago ka mamaalam, lovey ko, I love you.”

Here are the lyrics of Through the years:

I can’t remember when you weren’t there
When I didn’t care for anyone but you
I swear we’ve been through everything there is
Can’t imagine anything we’ve missed
Can’t imagine anything the two of us can’t do

Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … Through the years
I’ve never been afraid, I’ve loved the life we’ve made
And I’m so glad I’ve stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can’t remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can’t imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I’ve always been so glad
To be with you … Through the years
It’s better every day, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you … Through the years
I never had a doubt, we’d always work things out
I’ve learned what life’s about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you’ve never let me down
You’ve turned my life around, the sweetest days I’ve found
I’ve found with you … Through the years
It’s better every day, you’ve kissed my tears away
As long as it’s okay, I’ll stay with you
Through the years…

Filipinos are mourning the loss of the Comedy King, the artist that made them laugh and lightened the day. My friend Samira says it so well ” Comedy brings us together. For an hour or so, we are transported into a make-believe zone where our everyday life is made fun about. We can actually laugh at ourselves and draw lessons from them.” Dolphy was so much a part of Filipino families for decades. When news of his death came out, no one wanted to believe it right away since it was not announced by a family member in social media.

Words of sympathy, feelings of loss were soon tweeted. One that caught the ire of the tweeps came from @ILoveJamich

Kasabay ng monthsary namin ay pumanaw na ang hari ng komedya 🙁 RIP Dolphy #Legendary #KingOfComedy

I didn’t know who Jamich was until I was told they were a youtube sensation. Clueless me didn’t know they won the #TattAwards and to think I was there that night.

Most of the reactions were anger towards their insensitivity. Their fans think there was nothing wrong with their tweet.

As an advocate on grief education, the tweet was insensitive to those mourning the loss. That single tweet felt like they were taking the solemnity and grief over the death of the Comedy king lightly. It felt like it trivialized the grief of others. The monthsary really had no place in that one tweet.

In times like these, words of comfort are all that will make it right. If there are no words, just “I am sorry” with a virtual “hug” will do. Perhaps @IloveJamich did not mean to hurt but they also need to understand why it didn’t come across well. Declaring monthsary and condolences in one tweet is just not appropriate.

Calling them out is the best way to make them understand not to do it again. Considering their fame, more attention is given to their tweets. We all learn from this not just @ILoveJamich

Why was their tweet insensitive?

In most of my meetings with the bereaved at the Compassionate Friends, a common complaint is the insensitivity of concerned friends or relatives. Of course, we know the depth of concern they have towards us but in their enthusiasm, they blurt out the most insensitive remarks.

Fans of Dolphy are also in grief and feel the same concern as the family.

It is understandable that the newly bereaved and even Dolphy fans are very sensitive to these remarks. Instead of bringing relief, those words just seem to add to the hurt and the grief. There are no words that will make it all right that someone we loved has died. But there are ways that can soothe the hurt, ease the loneliness and add to the healing.

Some think it is an over reaction

True, some tweets could be an over reaction but the grieving process is not the same for all. Just like each of us have a unique thumb print, each person grieve differently. So while some did not think nothing wrong of @IloveJamich tweet, others found it insensitive. Looking at the tweets, majority found @ILoveJamich tweets offensive.

Some ways to comfort the bereaved

Though this remark was in Twitter, it pays to know some ways to comfort. You can also check Words to comfort and compiled at The Compassionate Friends

1. DO feel free to touch , to hug and cry with them if these expressions are appropriate to your relationship. Tell them that you care about their pain and that you are sorry their loved one died. Avoid using I know how you feel, it’s God’s plan or God needed another angel. A simple hug can say more than a thousand words.

In social media, one can do it via a virtual hug or touch.

2. DO allow the grieving friend or relative to express their feelings, if they express that need. The pain involved in letting go, the anger, frustration and guilt are all a part of the normal grieving process, leaving them empty and without purpose for a long time. Allow them to tell you how they feel. Don’t tell them how you think they should feel. They just need you to listen. You aren’t expected to be able to take away the hurt or to have all the answers. Be careful of clichés, religious platitudes, or easy answers.

While some thought @IloveJamich was insensitive, the reaction of anger is part of the grief.

3. DO show your concern. Be there over the months on a regular basis. Allow them to tell you how they feel, and listen when they tell you. If you know a certain time of day is particularly difficult, do try to plan your visits to coincide with that time.

While this can’t be done on Twitter, it is alright to say that your thoughts are with the family and those fans who grieve along. One should not minimize the loss even if you don’t feel the same intensity of grief.

4. DO mention their loved one by name. It is comforting for the bereaved to know that others remember their loved one, too. Some people avoid mentioning the loved one’s name for fear it will trigger them of their loss. If tears come, then they needed to cry, and the tears may be tears of gratitude that you have given them the opportunity to share their loved one with you. If you have a good memory of their loved one, do share it. It will make their day and gives so much comfort.

That is why tributes are well accepted. It is comforting. So instead of saying the monthsary fell on the same date, one could just deliver a good anecdote to commemorate the Comedy King.

5. DO know that it is difficult for the newly bereaved to reach out to you for help. When you offer help, be specific. For example, you want to take them out for a ride, set a time and date. Make the effort to call, to come by, to help them out six months and even a year down the road. Crowds may be difficult for them. Shopping and holidays will be overwhelming. Offer your help.

If you are close to Mang Dolphy, any help is comforting as long as it is specific and not a general statement.

(For more information on how to help , here are some articles I’ve compiled on Helping Bereaved Family members.)

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Here are the reactions from Twitter:

Photo via thankfulfor.wordpress.com