They kept referring to him as “the child”.
I wanted to scream at them that “hey, the child has a name!”
That beautiful child’s name is Luijoe.
But I did not yell at them because…
Who knows what your blog or blogging can bring you? When I started out my blog in February 24, 2006, the main goal was to promote my advocacy, grief support in the Philippines. Along the way, I met bloggers who generously shared their wisdom and other possibilities in blogging. The benefits of blogging indeed spread the word on my advocacy and brought me new friendships and adventure beyond my wildest imagination. I often say this “The rest is icing on the cake”. Blogging also started my career as an independent problogger and lately [tag]new media[/tag] publishing which works alongside being a problogger.
In a way, I can look at blogging as my part of my new life, this new normal that bereaved parents often seek. In recovery, I learned to live, to enjoy my life and handle situations as they come. What blessings! What joy to live in this new and exciting life. It’s one big adventure.
My adventure into new media publishing started with Jayvee when I introduced myself as having a special niche to be qualified for that Globe-Innove meet with Bloggers. Yes, how “thick skinned” I was. But in life, if you don’t ask, you won’t get an answer. Jayvee could have said “No, you’re not. You’re ….blah blah” but well, he invited me. The first PR practitioner to build buzz marketing through blogs is Blooey Singson when she convinced Krispy Kreme to give doughnuts to bloggers. But Amor Maclang of of GeiserMaclang raised the bar further by inviting bloggers to PR events alongside traditional media during the Wagyu Beef Fest at the Diamond Hotel. Was it Annalyn or Jayvee who told me that Amor’s PR events are always crowded because of the fantastic production ? Her PR events are more like a show. My idea of a PR event is that media watch a video presentation, clap, eat, and run. Not until I attended the Wagyu Beef Fest anyway.
I was not disappointed with a second and third invite from Amor. This time , it was for CLEAR Anti-Dandruff Shampoo Product Launch held yesterday at the Renaissance Hotel (formerly New World Hotel) and tonight’s Diamond Indulgence Privilege Card of Diamond Hotel . Both launches were fabulous. Amor (and GeiserMaclang staff) produced a launch party for CLEAR complemented with a sumptuous buffet lunch . Jayvee, Aileen, Sasha, Juned and Dine attended this glamorous affair. Another opportunity to be together again!
Can you tell the difference between these two photos? (Enlarge by clicking on the photos if you need to)
The production effort clearly shows the concept of the product features. “Feel the difference after being inside the bubble”
How nifty! It felt like a children’s party with all those surprises at stake.
Is it true that life has to be hard and difficult? The belief that life has to be hard and difficult is the belief that makes a martyr.
Using each problems that cross our paths to prove that life is hard and we are helpless is being a codependent. It’s the victim trap.
We do have power even in the most difficult times. The difficult times don’t prove that life is bad. They are part of the ups and downs of life and often work out for the best. Take a look at this example.
I am humbled by Belle’s Humble Beginnings. I have known a long time ago that she came from humble beginnings but details of which I only read in her latest entry. The lovely Belle is mother to two gifted and beautiful girls , one of which is a Payson Roundup’s Young Woman of the Year while the other daughter received a “Student of the Year” and the ““Most Improved Student of the Year” from Kiwanis. What pride and joy for this mother who experienced extreme hardships just to finish her high school?
Who would have thought that once upon a time Belle would wake up early in the morning to give me an early start for a three-kilometer walk to school or earned at an early age the art of ““supnit”, I learned to fish in the swamp using agahid (fish net), I learned to plant young rice plant in the muddy fields (such a back breaking job!), plant and harvest camote, make tiniklad (nipa shingles), harvest rice in the wee hours of the morning, and so on and so.
One of my fondest memory of Luijoe are the wild flowers he gathered from the park . With eyes twinkling as he held out the flowers, he scrambled up to my lap , gave me a hug and smacked a wet kiss on my cheek while uttering I love you so very much, Mama. Today it’s my turn to get flowers for my boy because July 13 is his 14th birth anniversary. But who says there can’t be a birthday cake, birthday present, or a birthday party?
Death ended my child’s life but not his relationship with my family. Even if there is no birthday boy to celebrate his 14th birthday with, I know that a spritual bond exists between us. As I gaze at the lovely flowers I bought at the Market! Market!, I marvel at God’s creation on the beauty of life. It’s good to be alive and to have survived the past 7 years of this grief journey. True, my son might not be around but his memory lives in my heart. We can still celebrate his birth anniversary at home.
“Dear, if you google Sexy Filipina, I am on the first page.
“Whaaaaa?” My husband looked horrified.
Then I added “Try googling for Sexy Filipina Mom too and my blog is number 1″
I wasn’t about to see my husband choke on his coffee so , I quickly related about the Reshaping The Filipina Image Campaign through our blog entries.
“Isn’t it better for my blog to appear on the first page of those keywords instead of dating, mail order brides, exotic young Pinay babes or porno websites?
My husband agreed.
See, when I first read about the furor over the Sexy Mom internet handle, I thought it best to get over my disappointmet and turn it into a positive statement. The Smart and Sexy Mom herself wrote the entry, A Closure, A New Beginning–Reshaping the Online and Sexy Filipina Image.
That’s what I call turning a pain into something positive. There is a lesson when we are confronted with pain. Something big is being worked out in us.
There are an abundant of sources of pain in our life. Most of us grew up recovering from unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings sometimes from early childhood to the present that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support to deal with.
It is hard to imagine when we are in the midst of heavy grief that any good will ever come out of it. What we have lost is not replaceable , any more than the loss of a child is made up for the birth of another child. I have been witness to the unimaginable pain of four bereaved mothers who lost their only child/children. When the Compassionate Friends launched formally in January 2006, a sudden dearth of parents wanted to meet up for coffee. Those who were not within Metro Manila , just wanted to talk over the phone. And so this was how I met four courageous women who were in their mid-thirties. (Some events were changed to protect their identity)
Mom no. 1 lost her only child, a 6 year old girl through leukemia
Mom no. 2 lost her two children (a girl and boy) in the same year.
Mom no. 3 lost her eldest and only son/child through stillbirth
Mom no. 4 lost her eldest and only son after a failed congenital heart operation.
(Now don’t think this is all depressing… let me just finish)
A writer of a local movie production company wanted to speak to me about The Compassionate Friends, a grief support group for family members who have lost a child through death.
You know, I often receive all sorts of legitimate and stalkerish type of text messages . One time someone sent me this message “I want to be your passionate friend”
*sigh* Now you understand I need to be wary sometimes.
So anyway, the person texted back that we’re doing a movie about a family that lost a child. It would be helpful for me if I could immerse myself and capture what bereaved parents feel.
To immerse meant to attend our regular meeting. I told her it wasn’t possible because our meetings are confidential and only for bereaved family members. Even if I get permission, new members might not be open to the idea of a writer in our midst. I suggested I talk to her first before I decide to gather a group of bereaved parents for a special session.
If indeed this person is from the movie industry, I truly welcome this opportunity to educate the public on grief and family recovery. After all, grief education is a segment of The Compassionate Friend’s mission. We still live in a world where grief is a taboo topic.
I also want to see if this person is a legitimate writer. Even if she is legitimate, will their movie portray it as accurately as possible?
When it comes to developing the dramatic portion of the movie, the writer can conceive all possible scenarios of pain, anguish, desperation and all the undescribable emotions during the grief journey. The death of our child, or children, is a profound and enduring loss; so far as each of us can, we pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and try to make some sense of what has happened. When a child dies, no matter what their age or the cause of death, grief lasts far longer than society in general recognizes. The death of a child is an unacceptable tragedy and it can take a long time before one can regain any sense of normality in their life.
The problem really is not the dramatic portion but the dialogue of the characters.
So I thought of listing down a wish list of ideas.
Whether the movies, TV shows or new reporting, here is my wish list on grief education:
The poignant thoughts of Pia’s entry about her seatmate, Senator Juan Flavier (who has now graduated from the senate) brought back memories of my own dad. Like Pia, I have a soft spot for senior citizens about the same age as my dad would have been today. Whenever I garner an achievement, I often think “dad would have been proud of me”, sometimes wishing I can catch my dad’s beaming smile with a nod of approval.
I am turning 50 years old this week and somehow I am thinking of the day my dad turned 50. My sister and I walked towards the UP shopping center so we could send a special card telegram to dad. Our greeting was:
“He’s needy.” I once overheard a conversation from one of my daughters. It pertained to a peculiarity in her crush. And it didn’t sound like a positive statement.
Is being needy a bad or good trait?
It depends.
We accept ourselves as people with needs- the need for love, comfort, understanding, friendship and a healthy touch. We also need someone to listen to us, someone to give positive reinforcement. It is not a sign of weakness for needing these things in our lives. It actually makes us human and healthy.
But what happens when we are particularly needy?
In memory of Jose Luis (Luijoe) Dado, on his 7th Angel Date
May 27, 2000- May 27, 2007
My son , an hour before he went to heaven
Dear son,
It’s been seven long years since I last cradled you in my arms.
For many years I struggled searching for answers to the question…
Why God?
Why God is it taking so long for the judge to act on the (our) civil case?