Category Archives: Recovery Tips

“No, you aren’t alone. Yes, we all feel this way sometimes. No, you won’t always feel like this. Yes, the world is a better place with you in it.”

It too shall pass. Nearly everyone goes through sadness but there is a kind of sadness that is difficult to just get over it . People can usually deal with isolated stressful or traumatic events and experiences reasonably well, but when there is an accumulation of such events over an extended period, our normal coping strategies can be pushed to the limit. The inability to cope with severe depression is what leads most people to become suicidal – they believe there is no hope for their current situation.

Did you know that a life is lost to suicide every 40 seconds? Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year-olds globally according the the World Health Organization . Depression is the predominant cause of illness and disability for both boys and girls aged 10 to 19. It is timely that Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (NGF) , a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing depression to light , initiated the “Hope in 40 seconds” video competition.

The competition encouraged those suffering from depression as well as their loved ones to seek guidance from HOPELINE, NGF’s free 24/7 suicide hotline which can be reached via the following numbers: 804-HOPE(4673) , 0917-558HOPE (4673) 0917686HOPE (4673) (Cebu) and 2919 (toll free for TM and Globe)

The campaign is supported by Globe Telecom, the Department of Health and the UP JMA, a university-wide student organization which adopted the campaign as an organization called SPARK: The Movement to promote healthy lifestyle and to spread hope among the country’s youth.

In just 40 seconds, 21 year old digital artist Vince Serrano provided encouragement of emotionally-burdened people through the help of his animated digital video “Companion”, a story of a lonely boy who almost succumbed to the lure of death but received a second chance at life from a beacon of hope.

Vince Serrano , the Grand Winner and People’s Choice Award bested 20 other entries video competition. You can view Companion below:

Here are the runner-ups:
1st Runner-up
Title: Heartless
Description: Everyone has a chance to recover from a dark corner. Everyone has the potential to be emotionally whole again. This video aims to encourage the path to self-discovery and recovery, from point A to B, together with the help of Hopeline.
Animator: Noel Manao

2nd Runner-up
Title: Catch of Hope
Description: The loss of what a young man believed to be everything to him, brought him to jump from a bridge. Seconds till his death, he gets caught by the unexpected.
Animator: Wei, Chih-Chiang “Jason”

Globe is a long-time partner of NGF in providing the information and communications technology infrastructure for HOPELINE. 

I have been reflecting about our empty nest situation and golden years with my husband.  There are times we reflect on our being parents …that we were not the best parents. We wish we could have done this and that. Though we  talk about regrets, we talk  also about the gains . If only we knew this…if we only knew that . I told my husband, we cannot wallow in the past but instead move forward and make a better life for ourselves whether with our children or not.   So I cannot help but agree on this list of 21 Rules For a Good Old Age . I especially like number 21 “there’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think.” I am grateful, blogging gave me this opportunity to share lessons learned to all of you.  I am grateful, blogging opened doors for me to meet new friend, rekindle old friendships and have a new life that is more meaningful.

In the meantime, check out this list .

1. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it.  Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.

4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.

5. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”

7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.

8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.

9. ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age.

10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.

11. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life.

12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.

13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.

14. Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it.

15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there.

16. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well.

17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.

18. If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them.

20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.

21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be.

And of course remember the five simple lessons in life to be happy:

 

1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happens.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

By: Joseph Romana as originally posted at Philippine Online Chronicles

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.” – Vince Lombardi

“Age wrinkles the body, quitting wrinkles the soul.” – General Douglas MacArthur

“Pain is temporary.  Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong

These and many other similar-minded quotes have brainwashed our generation, and probably the next ones, into a mentality of unnecessary stubbornness.  It’s like, stubbornness = wisdom.

I beg to disagree.  So does Seth Godin who wrote:  “Winners quit all the time.  They just quit the right stuff at the right time.”

QUITTERS WIN TOO

“One day, I promised God that if He would give me my voice back, I would never smoke again.  I got 3 octaves back after quitting.” – Mariah Carey

This is one example of why quitters also win and stubborn people can also lose.  True winners are neither exclusive quitters nor exclusive non-quitters.  Winners make wise decisions, whether quitting or persisting.  They know when to quit and when not to quit.

WHEN NOT TO QUIT

In the quintessential book on the art of quitting successfully called The Dip, Seth Godin identifies the conditions where quitting is beneficial for winning.  He calls these situations, well, dips.

Dips are that parts of our journeys that is a long slog between starting and mastery.  It can actually be a shortcut according to Godin because it can get us where we want to go at a faster clip than any other path.  What do we mean by this?  Let’s look at an example.

Personal finance management may be defined as ensuring all our current and future needs are met.  A big chunk of this includes saving money for investing.  Now, many people are excited when they first save money or take on an insurance policy.  It’s exciting because it’s probably their first major financial decision and it makes them feel like they’re already independent from their parents and they can strike it out on their own.  Ah, yes.  The initial euphoria.

But then after a year or two into the insurance policy payments, they start spending more for gimmicks, travel and gadgets.  Factor inflation into the mix and you have a situation where the monthly premium payments start to become burdens or hindrances to “good times”.  The euphoria has obviously faded and before you know it, what was once considered a joy has become a drudgery.  It is at this stage many young people quit.  This is the dip.

The dip is that temporary plateau that results in a breakthrough afterwards.  After the drudgery, the policy has accumulated so much that the dividends alone start paying for the rest of the premiums due.  Because the young person persisted, he achieved a breakthrough.  In this case, not quitting was the wise thing to do for success.

WHEN TO QUIT

Quitting is the required course of action when we are in a situation that is obviously going nowhere and is a waste of time, especially if there are potentially more productive or rewarding alternatives.  Staying and persisting in a hopeless situation is not wisdom.  Take for example, health.

I know someone who was, to say it in a more politically correct term, very obese.   He ate everything he wanted, as much as he wanted and when he wanted.  His exercise routine consisted purely of alternating biceps curls where he puts food on his mouth with the right hand and drinks from a glass using the left.  He was diagnosed with a serious health condition that required him to lose serious pounds.

Prior to this, he tried to lose weight but failed.  He couldn’t quit his lifestyle.  He persisted.  But after hearing that it posed a threat to his life and knowing it meant leaving his family soon, he got his act together and lost weight.  He quit early enough to win back his health.

Or how about a friend of mine who quit her job as a high-ranking executive even without a replacement job.  Why?  Because she knew that staying on the job was a dead end.  It was hopeless and no amount of persisting and hard work will make things better.  So she quit despite having no backup plan.  And because she quit, she was free to take on a better job offer that came along shortly thereafter.  My friend knew that persisting in her situation was futile and a losing strategy.  She won and got a much better paying job because she knew when to quit.

BOTTOMLINE

I’m not saying we should always quit to win.  I’m just saying we have to be very careful stereotyping people who quit as losers and stubborn people as winners.  It might rub off on us and cause us to stay around longer than we should in situations that are obviously not working out well and miss out on jumping on opportunities for success for fear of being labeled as “losers”.  Quitting in dead end situations is wise and staying and persisting in “dips” or temporarily challenging situations that have potential for great success is wise too.  The key really is to know which is a dead end and which is a dip.

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Photo: “I HOPE THIS DOESN’T MEAN THERE ARE NO MIRACLES LEFT…” by JOPHIELsmiles, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.