Do You Believe in Giving Second Chances?

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Second chances?

Do you believe that someone who has caused you so much pain deserves a second chance?

Do you believe YOU deserve a second chance?

Over 15 years ago, I packed my bags and left my husband because I thought I wanted to start a new life without him. Grief had overtaken us so much that we were virtually strangers to each other. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine myself with a broken ankle as I stepped inside my new pad. I had no choice but to live with him and work things out. Truly God works in mysterious ways. It was as if God said, ” you can’t run away from your marriage. Try to fix it. Give it a second chance”

Listen to podcast:

If you think that my husband is the culprit, you’re wrong. I am to blame too. It takes two to a marriage. I knew I had to take care of myself first and foremost. I had to give myself a second chance. A second chance to be a more loving wife and mother. A second chance to be more financially independent and a second chance to be a better person.

I believe second chances are possible if….

1. The person who has caused you hurt is willing to make amends and to sit down and compromise.

2. I set boundaries. One can’t repeat the same mistake all over again, but at the same time one must be aware that we should also give allowances for recovery to take place.

3. You love yourself. I’d like to believe that “You cannot give what you do not have.” I find that I am a better wife, a better mother, a more compassionate friend, after I have spent time nurturing myself.

4. You are open to the positive possibilities of the future instead of limiting the future by today’s feelings and circumstances.

5. You forgive. When we hold on to pain, old grudges, bitterness and even hatred, many aspects of our lives suffer. Through forgiveness, you choose to no longer define yourself as a victim.

It’s been more than 10 years now.

I lost weight and look so much sexier or so my husband says. My husband is overflowing with love and kisses and I feel so pampered. My children are happier with our new normal. I am financially independent.

I feel good about myself. I feel beautiful.

I want to dance to the music of the Dancing Queen. No kidding!

I continue to be a work in progress.

Yes, I feel loved. I feel blessed.

Only because I gave myself a second chance.

So do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Photo via iriefitgirl.blogspot.com

Daily affirmations through the years with Louise Hay

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Beautiful and meaningful affirmations uplift my day.

Losing my beloved Luijoe, my precious child brought me into such deep sadness and negativity that all I could think was of dying. If it were not for my two girls, I would not have gotten out of the rut. Asking help from God meant helping myself and oh boy, I looked out for ways.

“Dear God, please help me” and all I could hear was “help yourself”.

One person that crossed my path are the affirmations of Louise Hay. One way to empower the good is through affirmations which are just simple positive statements. I am glad I found her. Sadly, Louise Hay transitioned on August 30, 2017 of natural causes at age 90. She passed peacefully in her sleep. Her affirmations have helped me so much that I would like to share of few of them here.

I was borderline obese and this affirmation helped me in choosing a healthy lifestyle. In order for me to think clearly, I needed to have a healthy body.

“I am the only person who has control over my eating habits. I can always resist something if I choose to.”

Listen to the podcast version:

As part of my healthy lifestyle, I take brisk walks  and these are my thoughts:

“I take brisk walks in the sunshine to invigorate my body and soul”.

Yes, “I am in perfect health”

Acting as if  “Acting as if” is one of my favorite recovery tool that worked for me. By acting as if you are a certain type of person, you become that person, what I call the “As If” principle. To practice the positive, I act as if. It’s a positive form of pretending.

“I act as if I already have what I want- it’s an excellent way to attract happiness”.

Healing involved forgiveness and letting go of past hurts.

“I forgive everyone in y past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love”

The pain of losing a son taught me so much. Pain is a great teacher. It taught me to face who I really am and where I needed to move forward to. What I did with my painful experience defined who I became.

“Every experience I have is perfect for my growth”.

My heart is full of gratitude. Yes, the sweetness of gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. I have learned the magical lesson that making the most of what I have turns it into more. It is not material gifts that make me happy. It is love.

“My day begins and ends with gratitude and joy”.

Sometimes I worry too much and then I realize it is not good to have negative thoughts so I pray.

“Today is going to be a really, really good day.”

Like I told you earlier, I did not live a healthy lifestyle for many years especially those times when I was in deep misery over my son’s death. I chose happiness and being grateful.

“I am grateful for my healthy body. I love life.”

My toes hurt when I walk . I know I must see a doctor soon to check why it hurts. In the meantime, I make sure I meet my step goals.

“My body takes me everywhere easily and effortlessly.”

Ugh, I easily get irritated and need to continue this affirmation:

“I am patient, tolerant and diplomatic”.

Helping myself also meant taking care of myself spiritually, mentally , and physically.

“My mind and body are in perfect balance. I am a harmonious being.”

When I look at myself today, I can only attribute it to the work I did to help myself in the past.

“Today is the future I created yesterday”.

Taking care of myself meant loving myself first. It means loving myself into health and a good life of my own. It meant loving myself into all that I have always wanted. Yes, love myself into peace, happiness, success, joy and contentment.

“I am worth loving. There is love all around me.”

I constantly work at loving myself. One day, I looked up at myself in the mirror and loved what I saw. I saw a new and lovely me. Loving myself had become habitual.

“I am surrounded by love. All is well.”

Taking Care of myself

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After years of denial, numbing feelings of pain and all sorts of emotions, I finally came true to myself. I learned to take care of myself emotionally through practice and learning new behavioral patterns like Acting as if. I forced myself into positive recovery behaviors, disregarding my doubts and fears, until my feelings caught up with reality. I am still a work in progress, of course.

So what does it mean to take care of myself emotionally. This is what I learned from reading self-help books and seeking guidance.

1. I recognize when I’m feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame.

2. I recognize when I’m feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain.

3. I allow myself to feel joy and love when those are available to me.

4. I recognize that my feelings don’t have to control me. I can feel and think too.

5. I talk to friends or family members about my feelings when I feel that it is appropriate and safe to do so.

6. I reach out for help when I get stuck in a particular emotion.

7. I try to seek the lessons that my emotions may be trying to teach me. Then after I feel, accept and release the feeling to the air, I then ask myself, “What is it I need to do to take care of myself?”

Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it’s time to let go and move on to the next feeling. Taking care of myself means I’ve made a decision that it is okay to own my feelings.

So my dear friend, continue to take care of yourself emotionally. It’s okay to feel angry. You have the right to be. Just be open to and accepting of the emotional part of yourself and other people. Strive for balance by mixing emotions and reason, but don’t let your intellect push the emotional part of yourself away.

Taking care of yourself emotionally means you value and cherish the emotional part of yourself. I know you will be fine. We will be fine.

Stress less.

You can listen to this podcast at

The Sweetness of Gratitude

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I am grateful for the New Year 2021 and the challenges we faced in 2020.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” MARCEL PROUST

gratitude

The hot and humid afternoon coupled with a lot of deadlines made me lazy for the rest of the day. A text message arrived. It was from my husband.

I have something for you…_______________ because I love you. See you later dear.

*kilig* His text message thrilled me to pieces. No, it wasn’t the gift. It was the reason…”because I love you”. I am pretty used to my husband’s flowery words via text message or email but that afternoon, I was full of gratitude that his text message spoke of love. Random moments like that just lifted my spirits.

I replied back “love me? kilig naman” as if we are still steadies. I couldn’t help smiling the rest of the afternoon and shared it with my best friend.

My husband is not perfect. There are days when I just clam up and huddle up in my sanctuary while he retreats to his cave. (Yes friends of hubby, I know you are reading this so please don’t embarrass my husband and cite my entries. He doesn’t read my blog. )

But that afternoon, I affirmed an important concept to get me through this stressful time and that is gratitude. When my husband arrived that night, I gave him a hug “Thank you my dear husband” and it was not meant for the gift. I thanked him for being sweet and romantic at random moments.

If I had the time, I will write a book for men on “How to Flatter a Woman”. Through the years, I scrawled down snippets of sweet nothings in a diary, when my husband would pour his endearments to me. I like looking back at them to remind me that his strengths outweighs his weaknesses. I choose to focus on that strength. Gratitude makes things right. Gratitude turns negative energy to positive energy.

I am so thankful that my husband is loving and devoted to me. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Yes, the sweetness of gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. I have learned the magical lesson that making the most of what I have turns it into more. It is not material gifts that make me happy. It is love. I can affirm my gratitude any day I want to but I want to dedicate this gratitude entry especially to my husband.

Thank you my dear, husband.

my husband and I

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Thanksgiving day reminds me of the word “gratitude”

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Thanksgiving day being the most celebrated holiday in the states reminds me of the word “gratitude”.


A few years ago, I was planning to bake Pumpkin Pie because I remembered just how delicious it was during my visit in Missouri a few years ago.

My daughter said “we’re not Americans, mom so why should we celebrate Thanksgiving Day”. (But did you know that, for several decades, Thanksgiving had also been celebrated in the Philippines?)

I protested “but I love Pumpkin Pie” and I want to bake it to feel like I am celebrating with my brother and sisters in the states. My siblings often wished I’d visit them during Thanksgiving day but I just tell them that I will be with them in spirit. So I thought baking the Pumpkin pie was a great idea

But…

Nope, my daughters refused to acknowledge Thanksgiving day the American way.

As a compromise, I agreed to bake Pumpkin Pie on Christmas day and thought that was the end of the discussion.

Then, I gleefully announced “let’s honor and reflect on your paternal great-great American grandfather who arrived in the Philippines in 1921 from Iowa. He was quite an adventurer just like you, Lauren.”

Photo: Great great grandfather of my husband
I think that settled the issue.

I love looking back to the past and knowing the roots of my family. I like knowing their way of life, their personalities and quirks to see if these were passed on to my children.

I am grateful for the life and the traditions that have been passed on through the years.

Thanksgiving day being the most celebrated holiday in the states reminds me of the word “gratitude”. I can affirm my gratitude any day I want to but I want to dedicate this entry especially for my siblings who will celebrate Thanksgiving day. I want to share my gratitude to them.

In honor of Thanksgiving Day, I have a lot to be thankful for today and everyday of my life.

gratitude
1. I am thankful for second chances and a new normal.

2. I am thankful for the laughter that rings true in my home. There’s nothing like a family who laughs together.

3. I am thankful for financial challenges because it taught us discipline that money can be budgeted wisely for basic necessities.

4. I am thankful for a loving husband that never gave up on me.

5. I am thankful for the excruciating pain brought about by my son’s death because it transformed me into a more compassionate person.

6. I am thankful for my two girls, that despite the turbulent teen years due to their sibling’s death, they never resorted to drugs or alcohol.

7. I am thankful of new and old friendships ,a comfortable place to be myself.

8. I am thankful for negative feedback as I can make an honest assessment of myself without jeopardizing my identity.

9. I am thankful for the internet, blogging and all of YOU, twitter followers, the lurkers and readers of my blog as you help me fulfill my mission in life.

10. I am thankful to God who I thought abandoned me but never really left me after all.

gratitude Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. I have learned the magical lesson that making the most of what I have turns it into more. I have learned an important concept to get me through this stressful time and that is gratitude. I learn to say thank you, for all these problems and feelings. I am full of gratitude because today’s pain could be tomorrow’s joy.

What are you thankful for?

“I Met You” documentary: A bereaved mother reunites with her deceased daughter in virtual reality

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A mother reunites with her deceased child in virtual reality. Below is the English translation of the video.

A tear trickled down my cheek as I watched the grief-stricken mother meet her beloved daughter in Virtual Reality (VR) because I missed my precious child. If only I could hold my Luijoe once again. If only Luijoe was here beside me. If only my dreams were reality. I have held him many times in my dream and in my mind. But if you have experienced VR, it feels so real as if you are really there.

This special TV documentary in South Korea showed the tearful reunion of a grief-stricken mother and her little girl, who died of an incurable disease at the age of seven, in the virtual world.

Jang Ji-sung, the mother of four children, said of the moment she met her deceased daughter, Nayeon. “Maybe it’s a real paradise..I met Nayeon, who called me with a smile, for a very short time, but it’s a very happy time. I think I’ve had the dream I’ve always wanted.”

I am sure the VR made the mother happy because I always want to see my son even if it is just a dream. Would you ever want to see your loved on on virtual reality? It’s been 20 years since my son passed away so I am uncertain if I want to see him in virtual reality.  Dreams will do.

You can watch the video below. It;s poignant so be prepared to tear up. I did not expect to cry. I remind myself that I would not have been a blogger if it I didn’t use the opportunity to share hope. This life is my new normal and I am still grateful to find joy despite the sorrow.

Watch.

(Here is the English translation from kayyess in YouTube with slight edits on syntax)

Mom: Where are you?

Daughter: Mom! Mom! Mom, where were you?

Mom: I was always..

Daughter: Mom, did you think about me?

Mom: Every day.

Daughter: Mom, I missed you a lot.

Mom: I missed you too. My dear Nayeon, Nayeon. You have been doing well right? I missed you a lot. Nayeon, you are doing well right? My beautiful Nayeon, I really want to hug you in my arms, I really missed you.

Daughter: Mom, am I pretty? I am right?

Mom: You are really really beautiful, my Nayeon. Nayeon… I just want to be able to touch you once more…

Mom: I’d look at the sky and talk and wave to it. If you see a crazy woman waving at the sky, that’s me.

Daughter: Mom I’m cold.

Mom: Why are you cold.

Daughter: Mom, put your hand like this.

Mom: Like this?

Daughter: Mom, it’s nice to hold my hand right?

Mom: Yes, I want to hold it dearly.

Daughter: But if you hold it up like this, we are going up into the sky.

Mom: Really? Aw Nayeon, you are wearing those flip-flops you really like.

Daughter: Mom, are you scared?

Mom: No I am not scared!

Daughter: Tada! I will show you a pretty house.

Mom: Its Twilight!

Daughter: My mom is visiting today! Say hi!

Mom: Hi!!

Daughter: Mom, sit here.

Mom: Here?

Daughter: Hurry!

Mom: Alright alright, I’m sitting!

Daughter: Mom, lets celebrate my birthday!

Mom: Okay, one, two, three, four.

Daughter: Can you put in more candles?

Mom: Okay, six and seven.

Daughter: Wow it’s so pretty!

(Daughter takes a picture, Mom poses)

Sibling: Her face is a little different

Daughter: Lets sing happy birthday

Mom: Happy birthday to dear Nayeon, Happy birthday to you!

Dad: Rice cakes, small round ones, in green, pink, and white that’s filled with melted sugar, Nayeon really wanted to eat them. She said when she’s out of the hospital; she wanted those rice cakes but we weren’t able to do that for her.

Mom: Happy birthday to you!

Daughter: I am gonna make a wish! I wish that my dad would stop smoking.

Mom: Haha yes.

Daughter: I wish my older brother and sister would not fight, and that my younger sister won’t get sick and I wish that my mom won’t cry.

Together: One, two, three, (blows out candles).

Daughter: I love the seaweed soup mom makes the best.

Mom: I remember, you liked that dish I made the best. Still do.

Daughter: Wow, mom the flowers are blooming!

Mom: they are!

(Mom waves)

Mom: She was just over there.

Daughter: Mom, come over here! Mom, here! (Gives flower) Mom you saw me right? I am not sick anymore.

Mom: Yes you can’t be sick anymore, you cant be sick.

Daughter: Mom are you sad? Mom don’t cry anymore.

Mom: I won’t cry, I won’t cry, I won’t miss you but I will love you, love you more and more.

Daughter: Mom, I wrote you a letter. Do you want me to read it?

Mom: Yes.

Daughter: Mom, we are always together, right? Next time we meet, lets play a lot okay? I will cherish and remember you for a long time too.

Mom: Thank you. I love you so much Nayeon, wherever you are, I will come find you, I have some things to do, when I am done, I will come to you. When that day comes, lets get along okay? I love you, Nayeon.

Daughter: Mom, I’m tired. Mom stay beside me. Goodbye mom… I love you mom…

Mom: Me too. Good bye~

“May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you feel safe. May you live your life with ease.”

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: 4 wishes for my children

I am not a very religious person but I believe in prayers. I often drop by this quaint little chapel in Eastwood or the one in Greenbelt. See, my children don’t live with me anymore and I worry as most parents do. My only comfort is in prayers as it lessens my anxiety.

My prayers are always for my children: May they be safe, may they be happy and may they be healthy.

A friend shared me a 20-minute loving-kindness practice to help us extend compassion to ourselves, those around us, and the larger world. It is beautiful and reminds me of my own prayer except for the last line which I now believe I will add in my future prayers:

May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you feel safe.
May you live your life with ease.

Yes, I will add “May you live your life with ease.”

I will picture my two children and wish them with these four phrases:

May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you feel safe.
May you live your life with ease.

Listen to this:

But this loving compassion practice is not just for my children. This is for ourselves and the larger world. I must remind myself that I also deserve happiness. Life is not perfect. Maybe if I pray for my friends , difficult people, and the world, there might be some measure of peace.

Without any sort of demand, I will offer the same wishes I extended to my children:

“May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I feel safe.
May I live my life with ease.”

This loving-kindness practice is also for the whole family.

I will picture my family as well and think:

“May all of us be happy.
May all of us be healthy.
May all of us feel safe.
May we all live our lives with ease.”

And if my husband and I are having challenges, I will also picture the same:

“May we both be happy.
May we both be healthy.
May we both feel safe.
May we both live our lives with ease.”

To you my dear readers, I also wish the same.

May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you feel safe.
May you live your life with ease.

How to Smile (for photos)

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Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. ~Mother Teresa

With the advent of selfies, looking good in the pic matters or else, why take selfies at all?

A few years ago, my friends lamented , “Why do you manage to look so nice in all the photos? ” We were making goofy faces with the photo booth in Dine’s macbook and all of us were having a ball experimenting with our smiles. I glanced at the photo and caught my usual upper smile, my mouth slightly open with the upper teeth seen. I tell them “the secret is because I practiced the art of smiling since my teen years.” Let me tell you why.

As the daughter of a very fair skinned mom, my cruel uncles ( the brothers of my mom) often teased I was “negra”. I was made to believe that being “negra” is ugly. What has color got to do with beauty anyway? I grew up believing I was ugly which in effect made me shy and feeling well “ugly”. I don’t know why my mother never stopped my uncles from calling me such horrible names. Then I became a teenager. I was fixing the bed of my mom and caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. I tossed my long glossy straight hair and then stared at my face . I smiled at my reflection and liked what I saw . I said to myself “You’re not ugly after all.” Maybe I was just being narcissistic after seeing myself with a smile instead of a scowl but from that day on, I smiled at my reflection whenever I passed by the mirror.

It helped that I got the smiling genes of my jolly father.
daddy.jpg

My sisters also got the smiling genes.

(Taken 2010.)

But despite perfecting the art of smiling, there was a time I couldn’t smile. Look at my no-glow smile photo below. Sure, my lips curve back and my mouth opens to expose the upper teeth but my eyes are lifeless. This was during the darkest moments of my grief journey and the time I suffered from borderline obesity.
not_smiling.jpg

See, there’s more to smiling than just moving the lips.

How does one develop a genuine, infectious smile?

It starts inside of you. If you are happy, it radiates and shows in the twinkle of your eyes.

1. Believe that you are beautiful inside and out. Your smile is bound to look better if you feel good about yourself!

2. Look in the mirror and start practicing until it becomes a natural reaction.

    • You have no need for the “The Beauty Smile Trainer” a mouthpiece designed specifically to make your smile wider and more amicable than the one you already have.
    • Every mouth is shaped differently and there types of smiles which work only for you. Check the 5 types of smiles which suit you.

Determine your best smile.

3. Smile with your eyes. When we think of smiling, we think of the mouth, but the eyes may actually be more essential to a warm, genuine smile. Once your eyes are smiling, they tend to pull your whole face (including your mouth) into a natural, beautiful smile. Here is a tip on how to smile with the eyes

Smiling with your eyes is difficult to describe–in general your cheekbones lift slightly and your eyebrows dip a little–but when you see it, you know it: it’s that look of your eyes “lighting up” or “twinkling.” To get a feel for how to make your eyes smile, get in front of a mirror and practice smiling, but concentrate only on your eyes. You may find it helpful to cover the lower part of your face with a piece of paper. Play around with it a bit, and you’ll find that you can make your mouth smile when your eyes aren’t smiling, and you can also smile only with your eyes. When your eyes do smile, remember how it feels, which muscles are working and how. With practice, you’ll be able to smile with your eyes at will.

4. Take practice shots from your digital camera. Raise your chin slightly if your photos tend to show your flabby chin. Knowing your best angle also helps.

5. Just have fun. Be in a happy state of mind and the smile will show.

The smiles show in my family.

How do you smile? Do you have other tips that developed your winning smile?

Year of the Earth Pig Lucky Jade Charm and Tolerance

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Happy Chinese New Year. February 5, 2019 thru January 24, 2020 is the Year of the EARTH PIG. A lot of stalls are sprouting out in shopping malls selling all sorts of cute pig charms to celebrate the Lunar Chinese New Year. My husband, Butch’ Chinese Zodiac sign is the pig. Maybe he believes in pig charms and the symbolism it represents. Holding up a fake jade pig charm, he observes that the pig charm bore many piglets. The sales lady at the mall says “swerte yan sir” (That’s good luck). Butch bought this pig charm for $5.00 and told me that the green pig complements the color scheme of our new living room. Right! I teased him.

What do these lucky pig charms really mean?

Grandmaster Lin Yun says that the PIG is the most blessed of the animals of the Chinese zodiac. The horse draws a cart, the ox plows the fields, the goat provides milk, the rooster lets you know when morning has come, and the dog stands guard at night, but the pig is obligated to do nothing at all except sleep, eat and sleep some more. Haha, how lazy is that? The pig is happy go lucky, easy going, and eager to avoid conflict. Don’t you think people should adopt a more easy-go-lucky attitude to tolerate others and strive to live life free of conflict? Life is full of conflicts but trivial conflicts can be avoided.

Whether one is of Chinese descent or not, people need to be patient, and tolerate the idiosyncracies of others. What does tolerance mean exactly?

I realized the meaning of tolerance when I got married. It happened on the first night of our honeymoon. Oh my god, Butch hogged the bed with his legs sprawled all over the bed space. I tried the practice of tolerance when he’d mess up the room. I wasn’t all that tolerant. I was too obsessive with the orderliness of my physical space.

The practice of a healthy and loving tolerance of myself started when my grief journey hit rock bottom. The constant bickering with my family in so little matters forced me to be more open to new approaches. It started with myself. I set healthy boundaries and trusted myself to own my power with people.

I learned to

1. Tolerate my quirks, my ups and downs, my humanness, my struggling and awkward nature.
2. Tolerate my fears, mistakes, my need to occasionally feel superior and to sometimes feel ashamed.
3. Tolerate my instinctive desire to control and learn detachment with love.
4. Tolerate my tendency to get obsessive and forgetting to trust God.

There are some things I do not tolerate. I do not tolerate abusive behaviors or destructive behaviors towards others or myself. Often , I get the ire of abusive people when I exert my stand on their destructive behaviors. But that’s another story.

When I learned healthy and loving tolerance, I learned tolerance for others. I also learned that the humanness I tolerated is what makes myself and others beautiful.

We don’t need the lucky pig charm  to remind us of healthy tolerance to ourselves and others.

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through.

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To all my visitors, may you have a Blessed Christmas. May the warmth and love of family and friends that make the holiday season so memorable. May peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through. Merry Christmas everyone.

Peace and Joy to all.

From the Dado Family

To those who have lost a child, here is a poem for you:

Christmas message
Luijoe’s last Christmas with us, 1999

Twas the month before Christmas
and I dreaded the days,
That I knew I was facing the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers
by day and by night.
As others were making their holiday plans,
My heart was breaking – I couldn’t understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holiday had in store.
When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around,
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of the day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment this wasn’t by chance.
The hope that they gave me was a sign from above,
That my child was still near me and that I was loved.
The message they brought was my holiday gift,
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.
As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it – as if it knew –
That I needed the touch of its fragile wings,
To help me get through the holiday scene.
In the days that followed I carried the thought,
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart –
That no matter what happens or what days lie ahead,
Our children are with us – they’re not really dead.
Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings in my ears,
A message of hope – a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of sight,
“To all bereaved parents – We love you tonight!”

By Faye McCord

christmas message

Luijoe and my family, 1998