Good grief. What am I doing here?

If I were seated here, watching this event 12 years ago, I will not be able to recognize myself.

My grief , the loss of my son brought me to where I am today. A whole new world. A blogger that talks about ““Touched by an Angel” at her blog, the aboutmyrecovery.com . A blogger that talks of Blog Watch, a citizen media endeavor.

From a homemaker to a whole new world as a blogger, citizen media and as features editor of an alternative online magazine, the Philippine Online Chronicles, I often wonder…what would I have been doing if I did not move on towards a positive resolution of my grief? Never did I conceive that the shy old me would land on TV, newspaper, radio, magazine as a resource person for grief, then later in blogging then social media for the elections. Blogging brought me new friends, reconnected with old friendships, brought me to travel places. It taught me to be more confident.

Not a day passes when I do not think of my loved ones who have gone on. I often still wonder how my life would have turned out if they were still with me. When the going gets rough in social media, I remember that the pain of losing my son is worst.

I am reminded of my friend Cathy when she wrote about The good from the grief. Eleanor Roosevelt said as she reflected upon her transition from first lady to private citizen after her husband died: ““Every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before.

““If you can live through that, you can live through anything. You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Watch #whatrocksmysocks video

What rocks my socks is being a blogger and evolving to cover a larger goal- to advocate social change .

My new normal as a blogger served me well: my role as a bereaved mother is no longer the first way I define who I am, but it is ever-present in my life and cannot be separated from all that I am . . . for the rest of my life.

I realized that Luijoe’s death gave me courage even if it took me five years to realize it. Courage to let life go on, to give myself a chance that new and good things will happen to me that will add JOY to my life. I felt he wanted me to carry on the comfort to others.

Working with my advocacy is also my way of keeping Luijoe’s memory alive in the next couple of years. I also know that every time I comfort a bereaved parent or sibling, my actions are a living tribute to my child.

Thank you IMMAP for the opportunity to share my story.

Read RECAP: THE IMMAP OPEN MIC NIGHT 2 from Carlo Ople and check out more photos here.

Thank you Internet and Mobile Marketing Association of the Philippines (IMMAP), TV5 and The Peninsula Manila and others such as Yehey!, Wunderman, 1DMG, Leo Burnett & Arc Worldwide, LoudWhistle, Ripple 100, GoMotion, TV5, Peachtree SEO and eLearning Edge. Media partners: Adobo Magazine, Inquirer, and Rappler.com. Official beverage partner for the night: Casa Noble


#Whatrocksmysocks speakers aside from myself:

-Ivy Almario, Interior Designer
-Marthyn Cuan, CIO at Meralco
-Manny Osmena, Cebu’s top winemaker, Manny O
-Glenmarc Antonio, Famous cosplayer

Photo credits: Some photos from Jane Uymatiao, Jaypee David , Carlo Ople and Jules Mariano. Thanks a lot

Shielding myself from the scorching sun, I clutched on to my umbrella and looked down towards the smooth bermuda grass. My eyes linger to the engraved markings staring back at me , “Luijoe, my angel”.

“Mom are those weeds?” a daughter pointed to the tiny yellow flowers dotted at the top of his tombstone.

“I planted those so Luijoe will always have flowers cradled around his resting place”, I explained.

My husband knelt down and laid down a vase of mums as my other daughter carried another umbrella to shield him from the sun. We all stood there staring at the flowers and I couldn’t help feeling proud, “this is my family”. I took my iPhone and took a snapshot. Four pairs of feet beside Luijoe’s tombstone.

I felt a tug in my heart and wondered why I felt this way. It’s been 11 years after all. It must be a trigger. I was getting sentimental that my daughter would soon be leaving for Australia the next day. Or perhaps the stressful political conditions in the country must also be getting to me.

The words echoed inside my mind, “still a family” as we inched closer together and prayed, “Thank you God for family.”

I know that death ended Luijoe’s life but not his relationship to my family. He will always be our precious son. The difference is I gave up the old person who was physically connected to a now deceased Luijoe and made a spiritual connection with my child who died. True, my second daughter will not be with us for a year but I know we will always be connected, thanks to the internet.

It is with a sense of gratitude knowing my family will always be with me wherever they may be. I am thankful for their support in understanding the work that I do. During challenging moments, it is my family who stands by me.

No accusations of “you are pro-Corona, pro-GMA, anti-Noynoy” or “funded to support the RH Bill” or “someone is using you” or “influencing your choices”. Some of my friends disappoint me at times.

Next to God, my family knows what is in my heart. Searching for truth and justice is not being a pro-anyone but merely fighting for what I believe is right. After all, didn’t God give us the gifts of the Holy Spirit to know the difference between right and wrong, and to choose to do what is right? Life is too short to dwell on negativity.

My life in this mortal world is temporary and I might as well make the most of it by focusing on meaningful work, contributing value to society, sharing joyful experiences with my loved ones, and remembering to slow down to savor the precious moments.

Luijoe, my angel reminds me the temporariness of life and to live more fully in the precious moments I am blessed with.

The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements. James 1:11

Cebu, my hometown how I missed my birthplace, the city where I grew up till I left for Manila at the age of 17 years old to study at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.

I spent seven days in Cebu with my two girls to celebrate the Sinulog 2012 festival. If I remember right, this has been the longest I have ever stayed in Cebu since my wedding in May 1985. It was also the last time I watched the Sinulog with my dad who was then the over-all organize.

Bitter-sweet memories filled me as I visited every spot of the city. Each old spot held a memory so dear to me. Visiting Cebu for the past years meant burying two siblings, a father and even my precious child. Starting 2009, I made it a point to visit Cebu just because I wanted to reunite with friends. The thing is I managed to stay only for two to three days, never long enough to get used to new places. Everything looks different. The streets, the signages and the buildings. I get to recognize a street whenever a “deja vu” feeling overcomes me. I fire up my google maps just to discover the street name or my exact location.

Home for this trip was Radisson Blu. Our ancestral home was sold years ago when we could no longer keep up with the maintenance. My daughter wanted to explore Cebu so I brought her to the Sto. Nino Church, the Magellan Cross, my dad’s old office at the vacant Gotiaco building , the La Nueva Supermarket, Colon street . It was at this point when I wanted to find out a Ngo Hiong House. I tweeted. To my delight @maxlimpag suggested a Ngohiong near University of San Carlos – Main Campus. Someone else suggested Doming’s Ngohiong inside Fairlane Village in Guadalupe.

Max Limpag, a well known writer and blogger based in Cebu also suggested I take a short heritage walk in Paria-an to demonstrate the viewing of information through QR code scanning of selected tourism spots in Cebu. Smart and MyCebu.ph placed special markers on tourism and heritage sites in selected areas. More markers coming soon. These markers contain a snippet of information about the site and a QR code that, when scanned, will open an article about the landmark.

Just recently, Max informed me that an automated system displays the markers on an interactive map. The system is automated and all QR-related articles in the MyCebu.ph contain embedded geographic information so that they can be automatically displayed on the map.

I was excited to try it. In all my years in Cebu, I have never been to the Pari-an district or stayed long enough to know it was Pari-an. I first came across Pari-an from a book about my Veloso lineage during my twenties. My mom belonged to the large Veloso clan while my dad was a migrant from the Quezon province in the early 50’s.

My girls are often proud to say they are half-Cebuanos. As a teen, I used to think Manileños were “mayabang”. After living in Manila for 38 years, I have come to the conclusion that indeed Manileños tend to be “mayabang” because the national language is based on Tagalog. Oh I see it often in twitter…”Let’s speak Tagalog” forgetting that most of us Pinoys speak Bisaya.

(I digress)

I met up with Max at the Cebu Heritage monument at Barangay Parian, which was where the wealthy and influential Chinese mestizos lived during the Spanish period. As I scanned the QR Code with my Samsung Galaxy note, a web address leads to an article about the Parian monument.

An excerpt of the site describes the origins:

Conceptualized by multi-awarded sculptor Eduardo Castrillo, the mammoth structure depicts significant moments in Cebu’s history beginning with that fateful fight of April 21, 1521 in the island of Mactan where native chieftain Lapu-Lapu killed Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan.

Devotion to the Señor Sto. Niño is one Cebuano trait depicted in the Heritage of Cebu Monument in Parian.
The monument also portrays as well the conversion of Rajah Humabon and his followers to Christianity, local revolution against Spanish rule, Cebuano veneration of Sto. Nino, and beatification of first Filipino saint Pedro Calungsod.

A few meters away from the Parian Monument is the old Parian Church , San Juan Bautista Parish Church, once Cebu’s most opulent church. Sadly, the church was destroyed for some reason. “It was torn down in the late 1870s during a conflict between the Pari-an community leader and a Spanish priest.”

Our next stop was the Yap-Sandiego Ancestral Home that “holds the distinction of being one of the oldest houses in the Philippines and possibly the oldest Chinese home outside of China.”

The house is lovely and quaint. Scanning the QR code brings you to the website, Yap-Sandiego ancestral home: Soul of old Cebu. “The house’s roof and walls are 95 percent original, according to Sandiego, making this edifice that he and his family continue to live in during weekends a little over 300 years old.”

Max told me about this mirror that “now adorns the second floor wall of the Sandiego ancestral home was used on several occasions by Negros native Pantaleon Villegas, better known as Leon Kilat, who led the revolution against the Spaniards in Cebu in 1898.”

Some of the things inside the home are not as old as the house. The current house owner, Val Sandiego “acquired ownership of the house in early 2000, did an expensive restoration work on the structure in 2003 and has since opened it and his antique collection to the public.”

I noticed that the owner seemed to put a lot of art work of their faces in most of the rooms.

I believe they are also the same Sandiego family that participated in Sinulog 2012 parade.

The house owner explains that ““in 1614, the church of Parian was built. Then after around 60 years later, the house was put up,” said Sandiego, who is a descendant of original owners Don Juan Yap and his wife Doña Maria Florido. The couple’s eldest daughter married Don Mariano Sandiego of Obando, Bulacan–who was then the cabeza de barangay (barangay chief during the Spanish colonial period) of Parian where the structure is located.”

And I never knew this house existed. Where were my History teachers?

The next stop was the Cebu Jesuit House just a few meters away. I later found out that a high school classmate used to live here in the early sixties.

Scanning the QR code leads you to 280 year old Jesuit House in Cebu.

Jaime Sy now owns the house with their Ho Tong Hardware within the compound. They bought it from the Alvarez family (owner of Montebello Villa Hotel) who had it since the late 19th century. Mr Sy ( to the left) is the architect in charge of the restoration. They had no idea at first that this was once owned by the Jesuits until one day, the owner read a library book in Ateneo.

Fr. William Repetti, S.J., a seismologist and archivist of the Jesuits, identified this old structure as the ““Jesuit House of 1730″ and pictures of his visit hang on its walls today. Repetti noted the existence of the house in his book published in 1936.

There is relief plaque bearing the date ““Año 1730” on the inside wall above the main house’s entrance door.

Sy believes the Jesuit house is even older than the Yap-Sandiego ancestral home because its second level, like the ground floor, is still made of coral stones.

A little bit of trivia from Mr. Sy. See that bed behind me? That is a Giatay bed. The word giatay (people who are condemned to eternal punishment) was derived from that bed which was originally crafted by a Chinese that sounded like “Gi Athai” . The word has since been associated with this bed and being sick.

Jaime Sy said he intends to preserve the Jesuit House, eventually transferring the bodega to another location.

Below the Jesuit House is the Sugbu gallery which is a must for those interested in Cebu history.

I am really glad Max took me to this short heritage tour along with my daughter. Now I know I can never forget Cebu. It is where my heart belongs. My two daughters even want to settle down in Cebu. In fact, one of my daughters booked another trip on April so she can travel with a friend.

There is still so much to discover about my roots. A tour guide can be quite helpful but sometimes the information get lost somewhere as one maybe too preoccupied with the sights and sounds. Scanning the QR codes is one way to retain that information. Kudos to Max Limpag for initiating this project. Max stressed that the project isn’t purely historical or heritage. ““Tourists can also get tips on how to get the most of their stay right at the tourist spot they are visiting.”

Thank you once again Max.

After I left the short heritage tour, my daughter and I hied off to the IT park. At first I was unable to recall what this place used to be. Then something rang inside my head “Lahug airport”. Oh I remember those days, my dad would bring me here just to romp around. I can’t recall now what we watched. Was it kite flying? I just remembered the wide space and just being with my siblings.

Now it is all buildings. Sad.

Next time, I visit Cebu, there will be more markers. There will be more things to discover about myself and the city that I grew up.

I am going home once again.

One wish I have for my family is to travel together this year. It is a work in progress. It can be a bit of a challenge because my second daughter will be leaving for Australia next month to pursue her post graduate studies. Now if plans don’t push through for everyone of us to travel together, it is not a big deal. I can adjust. Maybe three out of four can travel at certain points in time.

Like I told you before, my SUPERWISH for my family is simple: good health and happiness. It is important for us to be connected. No matter where we are, communication is always there. Safety is my number one concern and I need to know how my family members are whether they are in or out of the Philippines.

What’s better than owning a BlackBerry especially since it has the BB Pin. Owning a BlackBerry powered by Globe Telecom’s My Super Plan, a nifty new offering that lets you build your own plan so you can enjoy unlimited calls, text messages, and mobile data! Three of my family members own Blackberry units bought at different times of the year . All I can say it is quite convenient with its QWERTY tactile keypad and BB Pin.

You too can take advantage of My Super Plan Family Combo because it is the perfect family postpaid plan. Imagine three devices under one bill.

How to get My Super Plan Family Combo?

Getting a My Super Plan on the BlackBerry is super easy. First, select from a range of ““unli” services – unlimited text messaging to all networks or unlimited calls to landline numbers, to name a few. Then pick your BlackBerry data service, which starts at only P99 for unlimited access to BlackBerry Messenger, or P299 for unlimited access to Twitter, Facebook, and instant messaging, and unlimited surfing with access to your social networks for P599 a month. The combinations of unli plans are endless, so you can design one that suits your digital needs. When you’re done choosing, you get a BlackBerry Curve 8520 for free!

You can still enjoy the My Super Plan and BlackBerry promo with the My Super Plan 499 and Family Combo. Simply add the P99/month BlackBerry service to your My Super Plan 499, and you get the BlackBerry Curve 8520 for free! The same goes for the Family Combo, Globe’s customizable group post-paid plan. Just add the BlackBerry service to your three lines and three unli services, and everyone in the family can enjoy their new free BlackBerry Curve 8520 devices.

The great thing about the My Super Plan is that it’s very flexible. You can change the unli services each month to suit your needs. So if you find the BlackBerry more useful for Twitter and Facebook rather than surfing, you can downgrade from paying P599 a month to just P299.

As a postpaid user of Globe Telecom for the past thirteen years, this is the first time I am seeing such a great plan for the family and Blackberry at that. With My Super Plan Family Combo, I feel it is is the perfect plan that suits my wish to communicate good health and happiness 24/7.

Kung Hei Fat Choi !

Kiong Hee Huat Tsai!

Congratulations and wishing you prosperity!

It never occurred to me that 2012 is the sign of the water dragon. They say everything relating to water will bring me luck in the New Year.

And I did I just that during my seven day vacation in Cebu.

There I was lounging on the couch of the Island Banca Cruise boat as my two daughters took a nap behind me.

“To find the way, close your eyes, listen closely, and attend with your heart.” It was my “me” moment.

I was by my lonesome self just enjoying the wind and the lapping of the waves when soon my daughter took notice of my position and joined me.

I love these quiet moments. To truly hear you must quiet the mind.

Of course, the water dragon escaped me at that moment when we were on the boat. What is in store for me in 2012?

It is not that I am into Feng Hsui. I believe in charting my own destiny yet I am always curious what the Chinese have to say.

Joseph Chau, a geomancy expert from Hong Kong declares that the year 2012 will be a transformative year which means it will be a better year than last year. I wonder if that includes the Philippine economy. He adds that “whether it be in business or your love life, expect no small change from the Year of the Water Dragon, also called the Celestial Dragon if you happen to come from northern China. However you call it, expect bigger developments.”

One must be ready to adapt to changing game rules. Innovation will be a key word this year. And therein lies the challenge: will it be a transformative year for richer, for better or for worse, and how do we innovate to achieve the better?

I LOVE challenges and am always willing to innovate or transform, whatever the key word is for 2012.

How do I innovate? I listed a few in my day-to-day goals for 2012. Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As I go doing about my business, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.

I am an infinite work in progress.

““Any revolution has to start with the transformation of the individual, otherwise individuals are corrupted by the power they get if their revolution succeeds.” Wes Nisker

Forecast 2012 for the Year of the Water Dragon

Is there a perfect plan? Maybe but sometimes things don’t go as planned. It is one lesson I have learned when making travel plans. It was Lao Tzu that said ““a good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.”

When my daughter made plans to take a short vacation back to the Philippines,I started to create travel itineraries for Cebu and Baguio. It’s been my SUPERWISH to travel together once again as a family, after all my second daughter has been away for a year now. Baguio is my husband’s place of birth while it is Cebu for me. Visiting our birthplaces is something I want my daughters to experience once again. They used to visit Cebu and Baguio as kids but this time around, they are adults. Since my father-in-law turned 80 this month , a reunion was planned way ahead of time for Baguio on the first week of January. Sadly, my eldest daughter got the flu and didn’t want to travel to Baguio as she recuperated. It was more important that my daughter recovered quickly than insist that she travel along with us. Her grandfather would understand.

It was just my husband, my second daughter and myself. My father in law’s birthday celebration brought a lot of good cheers and laughter among the family members. The cold Baguio air added a more holiday feeling to our vacation as we warmed ourselves by the fire. I was missing my eldest daughter yet it has always been my wish that my family members are well. We can always travel some other time. There was Cebu.

Our Cebu vacation was planned by my second daughter. Much as I wanted my husband to join us for the Sinulog Celebration, I was unable to book a ticket for the weekend. This time around, it was just me and my two daughters. Our plan to travel as a complete family fell through again but it was still no big deal.

My two daughters do not really know Cebu , my hometown. The last time we stayed here for a long vacation was when they were toddlers. Sinulog is also something they have never experienced. In fact, the last time I experienced the Sinulog was twenty seven years ago when dad was one of the organizers. I made sure to get them photo IDs to capture the festivities. It was overwhelming to see the huge crowds that gravitated to Cebu. Never have I seen so many people in Cebu. I explained to my daughter that Sinulog festival is recent but the “Sinulog dance” existed a long time ago.

Visiting the Sto. Nino Church, I showed the woman vendor selling candles offering prayers to the Sto. Nino. The vendor does the traditional version of the dance when lighting a candle with a prayer. I asked the woman for prayers for my family. As I watched her dance, all I could think of is my wish that my family is healthy and well.

Check this video that I took of the prayer-dance.

With a little help from Wikipedia, I found the origins of this dance.

The Sinulog dance steps are believed to originate from Rajah Humabon’s adviser, Baladhay. It was during Humabon’s grief when Baladhay was driven sick. Humabon ordered his native tribe to bring Baladhay into a room where the Santo Niño was enthroned, along with the other pagan gods of the native Cebuanos. After a few days passed, Baladhay was heard shouting and was found dancing with utmost alertness. Baladhay was questioned as to why was he awake and shouting. Pointing to the image of the Santo Niño, Baladhay explained that he had found on top of him a small child trying to wake him and tickling him with the midrib of the coconut. Greatly astonished, he scared the child away by shouting. The little child got up and started making fun of Baladhay. In turn, Baladhay danced with the little child and explained that he was dancing the movements of the river. To this day, the two-steps forward, one-step backward movement is still used by Santo Niño devotees who believe that it was the Santo Niño’s choice to have Baladhay dance.

It was fascinating to watch .

The prayer dance is so paganistic despite the Catholic origins of the Sto Nino but I believe it is faith too.

As I reflect on our two vacations this month, it may not seem perfect but what is most important to me? True, I still wish to pursue travel plans this year with my family. Now if it doesn’t push through, it is not a big deal. I can adjust. I’d rather get up in the morning, knowing they are happy and well.

My SUPERWISH for my family is love, good health and happiness.

As Abraham Lincoln once said, ““And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

I look back at 2011 as a year that brought more fun, travel, readers, and social media engagement.

New Year brings joy, hope, and wisdom. With every passing year, I have learned to develop a keener understanding of my new normal without my son. It’s a new normal for the past 11 years. Life continues to be a learning process and I do gain valuable tidbits of wisdom along the way from old and new friends. I have learned to live my life without regret. So with the coming new year 2012, I embrace it with renewed energy.

Here is my New Year’s greeting to all my readers, friends and family. Below the video are the top stories for 2011 which I think you should read. There are stories on parenting, grief recovery, social media, relationships and just about life.

Click on the links for each story.

Parenting

1. What the daughter does, the mother did

Of all the haunting moments of motherhood, few rank with hearing your own words come out of your daughter’s mouth. I discover this to be true now that my daughters are adults.

2. Love your inner child

Without a mom and far away from my dad (since I became independent after college), I learned to summon my the parent inside me. True, there is a parent inside each of us, as well as a child.

Grief

3. A letter to my son in heaven

I wrote this on the 11th angel anniversary of my son, Luijoe. Love never died even if my son was gone from my embrace. Eleven years ago, I felt the world swallowed me up. I thought I could not live with the unbearable gut-wrenching pain in my heart. At times, I thought I went crazy. I barely survived. I had to find that courage to live because of my two daughters and my husband. That difficult journey left me literally with a broken heart but not too broken because why did God give me a second wind in life to make a difference in this mortal world?

4. A Letter from Heaven

Let me share one of the first grief poems a few weeks after we buried Luijoe. After all the friends have condoled with you, one is left alone to grieve. Now reading this ““A letter from heaven” poem eleven years after his death, I see the words that inspired me to move on with my new life. I forgot all about this poem. These words may have been subliminal but it played a big role in my healing journey. If you have lost a child, this poem may give you some measure of comfort. The words didn’t really strike a chord at first. I remember wailing ““but I want my Luijoe here beside me, bugging me with his toys.”

Relationships

5. True friends are never apart maybe in distance but not in heart

This friend is special to me. I don’t know if I am special to this person. For a while, I was mad ..but how could I stay mad at this person who introduced me to the Holy Bible, to be open to other religions other than the Catholic faith? How could I get hurt for long knowing that love does not keep a record of wrongs?
How could I feel abandoned when my friend never left me? The friendship remained in my heart.


6. The Honeymoom Phase

Come to think of it, this current phase of our marriage is the honeymoon phase. Ray Bandy asserts that ““the honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn’t trying to reform her husband.” We have arrived at this point in our lives that we have learned to accept each other’s quirks, that there are things beyond our control.

I am enjoying married life with my husband now more than ever. It’s been 2 years since we last had a major squabble. That’s a feat.

Social Media

7. Willie Revillame humiliates a crying 6 year old boy as he dances

When I tweeted “I think What Willie Revillame did to this 6 year old kid may be in violation of R.A. 7610 Section 3 (b) “Child abuse” bit.ly/i31hS”, the tweets were endless. I then wrote this blog entry and bewailed … This is just so disgusting. Willie Revillame, you are the lowest of the low.

What Willie did is humiliate this boy repeatedly in front of millions of people. Where is the dignity in that? Why does he subject Jan-Jan who is obviously crying, to that kind of torture. The adults who taught him to dance that way? Ugh, the very same people responsible for his well-being.

The awareness of child abuse went as far as Congress that they passed the HB 4455, ““An Act Promoting Positive and Non-violent Discipline of Children” on April. It is pending at the Senate.

8. You are what you tweet

The Willie Revillame brouhaha gave me thousands of new Twitter followers and paved the way to more social media engagement in other critical issues.

There are many lessons and quotes in social media I learned in the last two years especially in Twitter. Starting out with only 500 followers in September 2009, I now have 7100 plus followers because they wanted to hear about news not found in tri-media. Compared to big media networks and celebrities, the number is a drop in the bucket. The numbers do not matter. Let me tell you how it is.

Recovery

9. How I relax while tweeting with a cat on my lap

No time to get totally annoyed at useless tweets with a cat on your lap. As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

10. Simple tips and lessons in life

Lastly, whatever happens, just remember these simple lessons in life.

1. Don’t promise when you’re happy
2. Don’t reply when you’re angry, and
3. Don’t decide when you’re sad

Finally remember the five simple lessons in life to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happen
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have
4. Give more
5. Expect less

May the Christmas season fill our heart with so much love and generosity that we let others enjoy the excess of what we have. Merry Christmas. Peace and goodwill to men!

Here is a video greeting aka slide show from my family to yours:

I am truly grateful this year. A year ago, I spent Christmas eve (up to New Year’s eve) at the hospital recovering from a gall bladder surgery. My family was supposed to spend the holidays at Singapore but because of this emergency surgery, I cancelled the trip but let L meet up with M so they could be together.

I am just glad to be alive and well. I know some of us are not complete during this time of the year. For many years after my son’s death, Christmas seemed such a lonely occasion but my family learned to celebrate Christmas using old and cultivating new traditions. Luijoe may not be with us but he will always live in our hearts and in our home.

 

This little inconvenience in my life made me realize that the Spirit of Christmas and the spirit of Christ lives in me and all those that believe in it. Stuart Briscoe states it well by saying The spirit of Christmas needs to superseded by the Spirit of Christ. The spirit of Christmas is annual; the Spirit of Christ is eternal. The spirit of Christmas is sentimental; the Spirit of Christ is supernatural. The spirit of Christmas is a human product; the Spirit of Christ is a divine person. That makes all the difference in the world.

I will update more as the day comes.

““Don’t focus on having a great blog. Focus on producing a blog that’s great for your readers.” Brian Clark

15 years ago, on December 22, 1996, Lauren wrote her first journal entry. The word blog was non-existent then. It was called a journal but as we know it, online media is emerging media. Blog came from the word web blog and the journal is the same format of the blog. Lauren’s original entry does not show in worldkids.net anymore but if you’re a geek, you can probably figure a way to read the full entry.

Lauren was 10 years old. These days, kids as young as 5 years old have their own blogs. The difference back then was one had to build your own site before blogging so that was quite the challenge. Together , we learned basic HTML, file transfer protocol (FTP) so she could upload her journal entry.


How could I not resist Lauren, my daughter’s question in early 1996? One day while I was busy with my emails, she walked up to my desk begging to create a web page using HTML. The question seemed so natural like she was asking for candy, but running inside my head was ““what is that monster… HTML ?” The Internet was such a novelty during those days that parents were both afraid and excited about its benefits for the kids. I took the risk and introduced my children to the World Wide Web.

I was often questioned why I allowed them to go online. Questions often raised were: Am I not afraid of pedophiles? Am I not wary of the pornography? What if the online friend is really some serial killer? Relatives and friends frowned on the Internet. I felt like I was a parent from outer space. Even my daughter’s homeroom teacher chastised her for talking about the Internet. I believe the teacher was just ignorant or intimidated about it. After all, in 1996, there were less than 12,000 Internet users in the Philippines. It wasn’t cool for a kid to be online during those days.

There were no hard and fast rules. One thing was clear though: I am a parent first. In the real world, one aspect of responsible parenting is never having to allow children to wander aimlessly and alone into unknown territories. So, too, in the vast cyberspace called the Internet. Responsibility towards my child’s offline behavior is the same responsibility for my child’s online activities. Parents can empower themselves and establish Web safety awareness in their homes. Start them young. The best defense is for parents to make exploring the online world a family affair.

I drafted my own Internet safety guidelines for parents, teachers and children to read in World Kids Network where I was their Internet Safety Head from 1996 to 1999. The guidelines are basically the same even in the age of connected technology (gaming centers, cellphones), digital devices and social media sites. My Internet safety guidelines inspired by my own parenting experience and my children’s internet experience is still applicable 14 years later:

1. Your child should only log on with your approval. Sit down together with your child and read the guidelines contained in their favorite kid’s site. Assess which may or may not apply to you and your child. If you have to, you can plan and formulate your own safety guidelines together.

2. Since the online experience should be a family affair, the computer should be easily accessible to family members. This makes online activities an enriching experience.

3. The computer should be located in a room where there is adult supervision.

4. Be clear on the length of time spent in the computer or other connected technology.

5. Let your child post your family’s e-mail address even if he/she has her own.

6. As you go on together with your online experiences, your child will soon be better equipped to deal with various online situations even if you choose to leave them on their own as I did when the girls left for their college dormitories.

The negative feedback and suspicions toward online activities often made me wonder how the Internet molded my children’s perspective in life. I found the answers now that my children are in their early twenties. I believe my kids got exposed to global thinking , varied ethnicities, cultures and religion, things they might not have learned in the classroom. The biggest surprise is that I gained so much more in the process. My children taught me a lot about being a mother in this technology-driven world. Is it any wonder that 14 years later, I am a 54-year-old tech-savvy mom blogger?

Today , Lauren moved on from a personal blog to a fashion and beauty blog at iambourgeois.com

““As I have repeatedly written in one form or other, blogging is not about writing posts. Heck, that’s the least of your challenges. No, blogging is about cultivating a mutually beneficial relationships with an ever-growing online readership, and that’s hard work.” (Alister Cameron)