Happy 15th blog anniversary to my daughter

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

““Don’t focus on having a great blog. Focus on producing a blog that’s great for your readers.” Brian Clark

15 years ago, on December 22, 1996, Lauren wrote her first journal entry. The word blog was non-existent then. It was called a journal but as we know it, online media is emerging media. Blog came from the word web blog and the journal is the same format of the blog. Lauren’s original entry does not show in worldkids.net anymore but if you’re a geek, you can probably figure a way to read the full entry.

Lauren was 10 years old. These days, kids as young as 5 years old have their own blogs. The difference back then was one had to build your own site before blogging so that was quite the challenge. Together , we learned basic HTML, file transfer protocol (FTP) so she could upload her journal entry.


How could I not resist Lauren, my daughter’s question in early 1996? One day while I was busy with my emails, she walked up to my desk begging to create a web page using HTML. The question seemed so natural like she was asking for candy, but running inside my head was ““what is that monster… HTML ?” The Internet was such a novelty during those days that parents were both afraid and excited about its benefits for the kids. I took the risk and introduced my children to the World Wide Web.

I was often questioned why I allowed them to go online. Questions often raised were: Am I not afraid of pedophiles? Am I not wary of the pornography? What if the online friend is really some serial killer? Relatives and friends frowned on the Internet. I felt like I was a parent from outer space. Even my daughter’s homeroom teacher chastised her for talking about the Internet. I believe the teacher was just ignorant or intimidated about it. After all, in 1996, there were less than 12,000 Internet users in the Philippines. It wasn’t cool for a kid to be online during those days.

There were no hard and fast rules. One thing was clear though: I am a parent first. In the real world, one aspect of responsible parenting is never having to allow children to wander aimlessly and alone into unknown territories. So, too, in the vast cyberspace called the Internet. Responsibility towards my child’s offline behavior is the same responsibility for my child’s online activities. Parents can empower themselves and establish Web safety awareness in their homes. Start them young. The best defense is for parents to make exploring the online world a family affair.

I drafted my own Internet safety guidelines for parents, teachers and children to read in World Kids Network where I was their Internet Safety Head from 1996 to 1999. The guidelines are basically the same even in the age of connected technology (gaming centers, cellphones), digital devices and social media sites. My Internet safety guidelines inspired by my own parenting experience and my children’s internet experience is still applicable 14 years later:

1. Your child should only log on with your approval. Sit down together with your child and read the guidelines contained in their favorite kid’s site. Assess which may or may not apply to you and your child. If you have to, you can plan and formulate your own safety guidelines together.

2. Since the online experience should be a family affair, the computer should be easily accessible to family members. This makes online activities an enriching experience.

3. The computer should be located in a room where there is adult supervision.

4. Be clear on the length of time spent in the computer or other connected technology.

5. Let your child post your family’s e-mail address even if he/she has her own.

6. As you go on together with your online experiences, your child will soon be better equipped to deal with various online situations even if you choose to leave them on their own as I did when the girls left for their college dormitories.

The negative feedback and suspicions toward online activities often made me wonder how the Internet molded my children’s perspective in life. I found the answers now that my children are in their early twenties. I believe my kids got exposed to global thinking , varied ethnicities, cultures and religion, things they might not have learned in the classroom. The biggest surprise is that I gained so much more in the process. My children taught me a lot about being a mother in this technology-driven world. Is it any wonder that 14 years later, I am a 54-year-old tech-savvy mom blogger?

Today , Lauren moved on from a personal blog to a fashion and beauty blog at iambourgeois.com

““As I have repeatedly written in one form or other, blogging is not about writing posts. Heck, that’s the least of your challenges. No, blogging is about cultivating a mutually beneficial relationships with an ever-growing online readership, and that’s hard work.” (Alister Cameron)

Yakapin: Batang Hilagang Mindanao (YBHM)

by ⋅ 2 Comments

Think of one bear as one smile, one hug – one young life given joy and love this Christmas. Two thousand years ago, a child was (and is) the reason why we celebrate the most important holiday of the year.” Cathy Babao

How can one even begin to comprehend the loss of lives now reaching 1400 dead and missing in Northern Mindanao due to Tropical Storm Sendong . Imagine the grim statistics:

1. At least 19,759 families or 108,130 persons are affected by the calamity according to the National Disaster Risk Response Management Council (NDRRMC).

2. UNICEF Philippines estimates that 43,000 children are affected by the calamity.

Residents were caught unaware as the floods rose rapidly at around 2 a.m. Saturday, while they were sleeping. Many of the victims were recovered in mud.

When you hear this kind of news, one begins to ask is there a silver lining to all this? It may not be apparent yet but silver lining for the TS Sendong victims is collecting stuffed toys for the children and toiletries for the women affected by the wrath of Typhoon Sendong.

You ask “not slippers, clothes, water?”..Yes they need all that too and I am sure everyone else is donating whatever they can. It’s good to feel empathy, post, forward donation centers and contact numbers — but it’s another thing to take action. The simplest would be to TEXT 2899 with the message RED (amount you wish to give 100, 200, 500, 1000) and the funds will go directly to Red Cross. There are a hundred ways to take action, and mine is collating credible sources of donation in kind and in cash.

My friend Cathy (my co-founder of our grief advocacy, The Compassionate Friends) shows another way through Yakapin: Batang Hilagang Mindanao (YBHM) . Let me explain first.

See, children in trauma experience a lot of nightmares. The power of a hug, or something that they can hug cannot be underestimated. I took part in Cathy’s project five years ago when she initiated the “Thousand Bears for Bicol Project”. It was also around Christmas time too. You cannot simply imagine the joy the children felt when they received these teddy bears.

Cathy contacted the Regional Missionaries of the Philippines -Northern Mindanao Region after she spotted a poignant poster of a father with his child on a friend’s wall. She took that as her cue. Under their wing in Cagayan de Oro and Iligan are thousands of displaced women and children. This is Cathy’s small way of helping out. This is something that she had done before which is to collect stuffed toys for the children in the evacuation centers and to put together toiletry kits for the women affected by Sendong.

How to donate to the children

Here are the simple guidelines :

1. For stuffed toys please send clean, friendly looking toys (no pigs please, owing to cultural and religious sensitivities) in any size ideally, big enough for a child to hug.

2. For toiletry kits, each bag will contain the following items : toothbrush, tooth paste, soap, sanitary napkins (10 pcs), comb or brush, underwear (2 pcs) face towel, laundry soap — just the basics so the women can also take care of themselves as they take care of their children.

If you wish to help, please email her at cathybabao@gmail.com

Cathy plans to assemble the toys and goods throughout the holidays and deliver them to CDO just before the new year. She will need volunteers for drop off points in various parts of QC, San Juan, Pasig, Pasay, Makati, and Alabang. If you wish to volunteer your homes, establishments or offices as drop off points, please send me an email.

Please see a list of areas for drop-off here

Alabang – 12 Brentwood Street, Hillsborough, West Service Road, Alabang Look for Magding or JC

Greenhills : 33 Madison Street, North Greenhills, San Juan. Look for Ann or Shirley

Asuncion Berenguer, Inc. 3/f Homestudio Building, 63 Connecticut Street (same building as Homestudio, Torch resto and Bose) Northeast Greenhills . Please leave with guard and indicate ““Bears for YBHM”

Makati — The Citadel Inn, 5007 P. Burgos Street, Makati City c/o Andre Urbina

Marikina: 1 Ferdinand Marcos Street, Industrial Valley Subdivision, Marikina Leave with guard please indicate ““Bears for YBHM”

Paranaque — Johnson and Johnson, Edison Road, Paranaque City (Edison is street by Zuellig) Leave with guard, indicate ““Bears for YBHM”

14 C. Diamond Street. Greenheights Village Sucat Paranaqueque Look for Yaya Marlene

Quezon City: A-2 Dona Sotera, Pilarville Subd.,Quezon City c/o Dennis Mariano
41 Milkyway Drive, Blue Ridge B, Quezon City Look for Lily

C1C3 Narra Heights Condominium #28, Mariposa Street, Quezon City (near Camp Crame)

Eastwood area : Unit 5c Eastwood Lafayette Tower 3, Eastwood Avenue Libis Q.C (In front of Watsons, near Mcdonalds) Leave with guard indicate ““Bears for YBHM”

Let us all do our small share to help Northern Mindanao.

Every bear or stuffed toy that arrives matters because it counts towards making one more child happy. To share and to give is the true essence of the season.

A new and soft teddy bear costs about as much as a Starbucks frapuccino or a ticket to the cinema — a small price that will go a long way in bringing back hope and a smile into a child’s life.
May you all be blessed to be a blessing to others.

What is most important for you in a child’s education ?

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

It was one of those nights when I’d sit on my dad’s lap. I will always remember dad’s favorite line ““Study well, little girl. Education will always be with you even if I am not around.”

Education is one of the greatest investments dad could ever give us despite the limited resources. Born from a poor family, dad struggled the corporate ladder just to give us the best education he could afford. Dad may not be around now but true enough, it is education that armed me with the skills, the accumulated knowledge and values to rise up from the challenges that came my way. The words of my dad carried on to my three children. I didn’t have to prod my kids to study and educate themselves. They understood the value of education that is to prepare them even at an early age to educate themselves throughout their lives. I smile as I watch my grown-up ladies from afar, now financially independent and making life decisions with our blessings.

When we come across the word ““education,” many of us strongly associate it with schooling. If you put education in the context of your own child, what is education to you?

As a mom blogger, I get a chance to visit schools and check out their curriculum and programs. This is an opportunity to share these information to my readers and for them to discern if this is the right school for their child. I came across a few heartwarming videos about little girls manifesting good deeds to others at their tender age. It seems to be an advocacy and I admire the institution that helps parents so that the very essence of education and learning — a thinking head, a caring heart, and a serving hand comes out naturally from kids as they go through their daily lives. Take a peek at this . . .

I believe that schools and parents play an active role as partners in educating and motivating our children today to dream for a good purpose, think for a good reason, and care enough to serve others.

Parents in search for schools that value academic excellence, moral uprightness, and social responsibility should consider the development of their child’s God-given talents.

I was struck by the Giftedness Instruction for Talent (G.I.F.T) Development Program in St. Paul College Pasig. I often told my little girls back then that ““you are God’s gift to me.” I believe in honing those God-given talents and made sure my girls got the training in piano, singing, and writing even if their school did not provide for it.

The G.I.F.T Program is a curricular innovation aimed at discovering and honing the students’ talents in the various fields of arts and sciences. More than what our kids get out of school clubs, I read that G.I.F.T. is the most comprehensive talent development program integrated in basic education which features 32 specialized courses in five Talent Learning Centers.


Grade school kids enjoy tinkering with the MAC and learning during their GIFT – Digital Arts and Creative Writing classes.


Brave and aspiring young gymnasts have fun at the balance beam in their SPCP GIFT – Gymnastics class


Young kids do their warm-ups before the GIFT – Taekwondo class. As early as preschool, kids get to explore the basics of this sport.

Bringing out the giftedness in every individual heightens self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence that emanates from integral formation begets good citizens which are what our country needs.

If you are searching for a school, it is important to know what you want for your child. Choose a school that complements your values. While basic education is the focus of an academically prepared, morally upright, and socially responsible child, a formal structure of talent development instruction makes learning truly relevant and functional. Investigate the school’s teaching methods if it will stimulate or hone your child’s talents, strengths, and interests. This might just be the school that matches the individual needs and interests of your child.

What type of education are you looking for your child?

Dec. 11: Worldwide candle lighting shines for our children

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

Although pretty presents under the twinkling lights of Christmas trees are quite exciting, it is the warmth and love of family and friends that make the holiday season so memorable. Yet it can be a painful time for those experiencing the recent loss of a loved one. I don’t know how I lived through the first Christmas without my Luijoe. But it was my two girls who taught me to grieve well. It was clear that Christmas was going to happen, whether I wanted it to or not. It is not the same for other families.

Christmas is indeed the hardest holiday for those that have lost a loved one. Is it because of traditions that mean so much but now lie broken and empty in someone’s bereaved heart? While everyone else is gearing up to celebrate with family and friends, they’re about to face the most family-oriented day with a piece of their heart missing.

A parent said ““You still feel that loneliness, even with so much going on. They’re not there with you, that hole in your heart.”

Anyone who has lost a loved one understand that love does not end in death. Through the years I learned that life can become good once again not when I tried to till up the empty spaces left by loved ones no longer within hug’s reach. I realized that love created new spaces in my heart and expanded the spirit and deepened the joy of simply being alive.

Since 2005, when my friends and I co-founded the Compassionate Friends Philippines, we made it an annual tradition to to honor and remember the children we have lost, provide support to grieving parents and families, especially during the holidays … and give information about resources that are available in our community.

Tonight is the fifth time we organized the Worldwide candlelighting in the Philippines to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As the candles burn down in one time zone, they are lit in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that circles the globe. This is a memorial to celebrate our children’s life and to remember them . It is one way to process and a way to get through the holidays. Those holidays are really tough when one has buried a child or a grandchild. Grief is hard work.

“No matter how many people or how- many presents, the pulsating void that seems too large for your heart to hold keeps on drawing your attention back to the child who is missing. As others laugh and play, your thoughts fly away – to Christmases past or a snowy cemetery. Give me a special gift this year.. . let me weep.”

The friendship and understanding of other bereaved parents is one of the most helpful gifts we can give ourselves. Other bereaved parents will let us reminisce of happier Christmases’ past; will allow us to speak our child’s name without hesitation; and will let us cry and not be uncomfortable with our tears.

Tonight is such a comfort. It feels good to be able to share our feelings with someone who understands that, for us, grief does have a place in our holiday. By being a listening ear for them we have given them a gift as well.

I closed the candle lighting memorial by playing this beautiful pure angelic voice of 7 yr old Rhema Marvanne as she sang the “Lord’s Prayer”

The forgotten father- grief after abortion is real

by ⋅ 4 Comments

(Disclaimer: This entry tackles grief education. I do not pass judgement on whether the circumstances are true or not or on the motives of Mo Twister for telling this story.)

There is video of Mo Twister that is going viral on the internet. The video claims ex-girlfriend Rhian Ramos “got rid of our baby” in Singapore last year. Mo Twister recorded this video for himself a year ago so he refers to himself as “you”.

The transcript is as follows: (I am placing bold on those parts where he is grieving over the abortion)

Its 28th of July 2010, First time I’m doing this. I don’t event know why. Um, Maybe one day you’ll watch this. Just remember how horrible of a day it is. You’re in Singapore, You’ve been crying all evening because tomorrow morning, You and Rhian will go to the hospital here and get rid our baby. It doesn’t matter naman what I think about it because this was her choiice. I don’t know how long you’ll keep this as a souvenir, but this is the test (Whisper) This is wrong. This is the hardest thing (Crying) This is the hardest thing you’ve gone through before and you’ve gone through so much. And we have to blame our jobs for this?

This industry that judges you for these things. This business has made her believe that we have to take the life of our own child because no one will forgive her for this. That this job will ruin her, so we agreed that we’d come here and get it done. Because you love her and you just want her to be okay. Its not like Rhian is having an easy time with this too. Its hard on all of us. She said one day we will see this again. And maybe our jobs will be a little bit easier and more accepting about it. One day you’ll look at this video, 20 years from now, I don’t even know if you will still be together and it will still hurt. It will still hurt like hell. (Crying) You’ll be sorry for this your whole life. I’ll be sorry for this my whole life. Im sorry for the bad choice we are about to make. Its hard for both of us.

Its July 28, 2010 and I’m sitting inside the hotel. The Ritz-Carlton in Singapore and we’ve been fighting all night about this. I’m doing my best to try to kep you safe. And all this fighting is taking a toll on us. I wish we could have this child. I don’t want to do this. This job is so difficult. Its so difficult. I’m so sorry. I’ll be sorry forever. Again, one day you’ll watch this. Maybe when you’re an old man. You’ll remember how difficult today was. And I hope you watch this and I hope by that time, I’ll be married and I’ll have a family that I can try to make it up to. You’re going to do something really wrong today. I’m sorry for that. This is business is so so hard. This business is so hard on its employees. I guess all bussinesses are. I don’t know. It’s our fault I know. We can’t really blame our jobs because other people did it. But um, I understand.”

I will not dwell on the circumstances of their relationship and the topic on abortion. Assuming this is true, my main focus is on understanding the grief after abortion, on the helplessness that Mo felt in that video and in his tweets the past few days.

Tweets on abortion

Mo Twister Talks About ‘Abortion’ on Twitter, Rhian Ramos on ‘Juicy!:

On November 16, Mo Twister posted a question on twitter :

““I have a question about abortion. Should the girl ask the guy what his thoughts are and should he have a chance to stand up for the baby?”

The following day, he tweeted:

““Because no amount of inconvenience could ever justify treating the supreme creation of God with murderous contempt.”

On November 19, Mo uploaded a screen capture of ““abortion” in his Tumblr account and encircled the word ““monstrosity” .

He also posted the following on Twitter on the same day:

““young child, dont ever think you were never good enough. you just had no choice in the matter.”

Empty feeling : The Effects of Abortion on Men

I have seen reactions in Twitter that questioned Mo Twister motives for uploading the video. I will not dwell into that but rather on emotions following an abortion.

The father of an aborted baby is often known as the forgotten father. Mo Twister is the forgotten father who had no choice in this decision. Three out of four males said they had a difficult time with the abortion experience. Some have even reported having persistant day and night dreams about the child that never was, and considerable guilt, remorse and sadness. For men and women alike, the feeling of emptieness may last a lifetime, for parents are parents forever, even of a dead child.

In the only book on abortion and men, Shostak describes male abortion pain as the loss of fatherhood and a “wound you cannot see or feel, but it exists” (A. Shostak, Abortion & Men: Lessons, Losses & Love, N.Y.: Praeger, 1984). In interviewing 1000 men, Shostak found:

1. abortion is a “death experience” and for most men more emotionally trying than they expected

2. the most common post-abortion reaction was helplessness;

3. men who are not helped to mourn over an abortion are learning how to be even less involved as nurturant parents in the future; and

4. the majority of relationships failed post-abortion.

There is an empty feeling.

“Some men are so wounded by their abortion role that they abort their own lives. I have treated women whose partners committed suicide because they couldn’t escape hearing the relentless little voices that kept saying: “Daddy, Daddy, please don’t let me die.” And for the man who stands up and opposes an abortion, under the law he has no legal recourse and cannot defend his child’s right to life. His grief is punctuated with impotency and feelings of helplessness. Words are just not enough to prevent his child’s death.”


Dealing with the grief

The motives of uploading the video is questioned. Was it maliciously done? I would never know but you can see the intense emotion when the video was produced. I felt Mo was powerless to save the life of his unborn child.

One father whose child died from abortion described his grief this way: “I wasn’t in the room; I wasn’t even in the clinic that day. But in my mind, I’ve been there a million times since. I’ve been there watching, breaking, wanting to rescue you. In my mind I need to be a hero not a killer, the man who didn’t flee. But I am not. I am the man I fear I see.”

Mo Twister faces the same torment in an interview with Juicy:

I’ll be honest. I’m sick of crying on TV, and everyone you read on the Internet na Si Mo, parang babae, umiiyak. But if you understand how grave and personal, important, ang nangyari sa amin, maiiyak ka rin araw-araw. Yun ‘yong nabubuwisit ako sa mga tao kapag sinasabi nila na dapat mag-move on ka na, babae lang ‘yan. Yung mga hirit na ‘yan, doon ako medyo nagagalit kasi hindi nila naiintindihan na it’s not about a girl. It’s not about moving on. Ang daming kong girlfriends before. I mean, I had three…five relationships prior to Rhian—and I understand the process of moving on. But I’ve never experienced this trauma. I’ve never experienced these hardships. I left ten years ago this very week, so medyo weird nga. I don’t want to be negative like, O, si Mo parang nagpapaawa or nagpapa-sympathy sa public. I don’t care for anyone’s opinion,” he added.

Men do grieve following abortion. It is that feeling of helplessness you see in the video where Mo cries that he can’t seem to do anything.

“Whether or not the male was involved in the abortion decision, his inability to function in a socially prescribed manner, i.e., to protect and provide, leaves him wounded and confused. Abortion rewrites the rules of masculinity. While a male is expected to be strong, abortion makes him feel weak. A male is expected to be responsible, yet abortion encourages him to act without concern for the innocent and to destroy any identifiable and undesirable outcomes of his sexual decision-making and/or attachments. A male is expected to protect, but by law he is encouraged to do otherwise.”

It took Mo more than a year to talk about this “abortion”. Perhaps he could no longer bear the pain and the guilt. Or it was just an accident that someone uploaded the video.

Based on the video and the tweets, I felt that Mo was bewildered and frustrated over this devastating experience. He is definitely grieving the loss of their baby just like the other “forgotten fathers”.

Killing hurts the living too. It knows no gender bias.

Let’s be gentle towards the forgotten father.

On choice of boyfriends, and recovering from a broken heart

by ⋅ 1 Comment

The news on KC Concepion’s admission of a breakup with Piolo Pascual is all over. I didn’t really think much about it because I always thought their relationship was a publicity stunt. KC never mentioned the reason for their breakup but social media buzz points to his being allegedly gay as the main issue.

“Kasi ang galing-galing niyang magpakilig.

is what KC says of Piolo.

I’ve met Piolo Pascual twice in the past. I find Piolo so charming, super gorgeous looking guy to put it mildly. Kinilig talaga ako but I didn’t show my giddiness even if Piolo kept smiling away to everyone. Piolo can gaze into your eyes and make you feel beautiful and special. Such a charmer, really. It is rare that I ask for photo ops with celebrities. I wrote about him in Piolo Pascual: On Loving yourself more and even got a video interview. Even though I was thrilled to death, I was aware of rumors about his sexuality. I didn’t mind any of that because I just admired his physical beauty.

Who is to blame? KC? Piolo Pascual? Was she forewarned of the challenges that lay ahead? Did she know “He’s Just Not Into You—At All?”

I believe each mother has their own parenting style. I want to make a theoretical assumption here for the sake of discussion. If any of my daughters fell for someone whom I suspect to be gay or questionable in character, I will tell her just once. In my blog post, A Mom’s guide to daughter’s suitors or boyfriend, I listed guidelines for my daughters which other parents may look into and perhaps learn a tip or two.

In Tip no. 4, I listed “Trust your instincts. Give your opinion on the guy and let it go.” Oh yes, I have done this in the past. I confronted my 17 year old daughter and minced no words about my honest-to-goodness opinion of the guy. Of course, she resisted. The problem with me was that my approach was old-school, manipulative and controlling. Now I know better. I should have just said my piece then let it go and allow her to make mistakes. But no, I told her she couldn’t see this guy. PERIOD. Funny thing was my daughter ended the relationship with this guy two years later, for the reason that I objected to in the first place. I allowed her to make mistakes though painful as it was for me to see her hurting all over. I could have said ““I told you so” after my instincts proved right.

KC is broken hearted right now. If I were there with her right now, I’d say this to KC (and this is true for all those suffering from a broken heart):

““Relationships are not easy, my dear. It hurts because you love him. You are going to grieve the loss of a relationship and loss of a dream. Feelings of sadness , anger, acceptance and moving on will be part of the healing process. Just like I often say to the newly bereaved parents, you will start looking for your ““new normal”. A life without your loved one. That is the moving on phase where you live the life of being single again. The ““we” that was there before is now broken.”

There is grief in broken relationships too. The grief journey, like I have experienced after the death of my beloved child is similar to a roller coaster ride. There are countless ups and downs, highs and lows – each time you catch your breath and have a few good moments..WHAAM ..SMACK, there’s another totally unexpected twist or turn and you spiral – sometimes totally upside down.

KC is bewildered with her anger:

“Ewan ko kung bakit, paanong nangyari yung pain, at saka yung sama ng loob naging galit.

“Na talagang nagugulat din ako kasi first time ko rin na parang napapamura na rin ako.

“Hindi naman ako gano’n, and bigla na lang akong maiiyak kasi hindi pala ako okay.

This anger is all very much a part of her grief process. It can come and go in waves just like an emotional roller coaster, from anger to denial to acceptance and back again.

The roller coaster ride can be quite frightening and treacherous. The lesson is that even though it is frightening, one has to move on through this emotional roller coaster of grief. There is no way out of it. You must go through it in order to come out on the other side.

I always say be gentle and patient with yourself. Take baby steps. Allow yourself to cry, to grieve, and to retell your story to close friends as often as needed and for as long as you need to.

Eventually, KC or anyone with a broken heart will smile and find joy again and may even find her ““true love.”

Here is an unsolicited advice from one of your fans:

A piece of unsolicited advice to KC …. my dear, thank God this happened before it was too late, listen to your parents who will never wish harm on you, focus on God who you will realize will be the only constant in your life, and pray for the special guy who will be God’s best for you. You are young, beautiful and truly talented. There would be boys there and there would be MEN. Some will impress you and believe me, they will treat you like royalty. Be careful because eventually they would turn out to be frogs. On a personal note, I had a ‘magical egg’ whom I thought was IT, then he turned out to be a Humpty Dumpty and even the King’s soldiers could not put him together again. It’s exciting times, Girl!! See a break up as an opportunity to renew relationships that matter, the ones neglected because you focused on a single person. Never cease praying and let all your emotions out on God for He know and understands. His BEST is waiting, just be still and know He is your God. – from an avid Sharonian who has seen the transformation of your mom and has witnessed you growing up in the limelight. You are and will be another bright star. 🙂

Mom of blogger Lauren to man her booth at Bloggers United 2 on Dec. 3

by ⋅ 3 Comments

Meet my daughter. Of course you know her by now. She is part of Bloggers United, the first bloggers-only bazaar that was created to promote a sense of camaraderie and community among bloggers and their readers. The first bazaar, held on May 2011, was so successful that a second bazaar was quickly organized in partnership with the country’s largest online shopping website, Multiply Philippines.

The thing is she will be in Singapore for business so I volunteered to man her booth.

So yes, me…the momblogger, the mom of blogger Lauren will be there to sell her stuff. (See Lauren’s blog post on this). Our house is cozy and not much closet space so she has to unclog her closet by selling her stuff. Though previously owned by her, trust that each item is of good quality. I will be selling a few of my clothes too (size medium to large). Some of them I just wore once because I hate repeating clothes if they have already been photographed and shown in Facebook.

What: Bloggers United 2
When: Saturday, December 3
Time: 11:00 AM till 3:00 PM ( the bazaar is till 10:00 PM but I have to leave early to attend a scheduled party)
Where: Treston International College, University Parkway District , 32nd street corner C-5 Road , Bonifacio Global City (See map below)
What else?: Entrance fee of 100 pesos
Click teaser photos of some items

Why should you go?

1. You will meet fashion bloggers and of course me! Some of Cebu’s very own fashion bloggers which include Kryz Uy, Eden Villarba, designer Yves Camingue, Gillian Uang and Mildred Zapanta and a few more will be part of this bazaar

2. I will give away volume discounts. A dress is around 200 pesos. (Volume discount of 2 for 300 or 3 for 500)

For tops, it is 100 pesos each, 2 for 180, 3 for 250

3. I will give early bird give-aways (for purchases 500 pesos and above) until supply last. Please come early because I can only man the booth until 3:00 PM. My helper will stay until 7 PM though.

4. This event is the perfect opportunity for both bloggers and their adoring readers to mingle and personally interact with each other. Fun contests and exciting giveaways from sponsors and entertaining performances from bloggers (Walkie Talkies, Reese & Vica) themselves .

5. Part of the proceeds from this event will go to the GMA Kapuso Foundation (http://www.kapusofoundation.com/) for its school building project, a small but significant step to improve the Filipino youth’s access to education.

This is a one-day-only event that you shouldn’t really miss! This is the perfect shopping day this Christmas because the most affordable and most fashionable clothes, accessories and footwear will be up for grabs. See you there. Look for me at iambourgeois.com / beautyoverfifty.net booth

Here is the map to go to Treston International College,Taguig City


View Larger Map

Pia Cayetano’s book: My Daily Race

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

Most politicians are the same all over. Nikita Khrushchev says it so well , ” they promise to build a bridge even where they is no river.” As editor of Blog Watch, I make it a point to disclose political affiliations. It is a good thing I knew Pia way before she got married, had kids and became a senator. Even my girls could not shake off their shock and pleasant surprise that their Tita Pia is a senator. Not just an ordinary senator mind you. Pia is an extraordinary senator. I am really proud of her achievements unlike some senators who I feel don’t work for the good of the country.

How could I say no to the book launch of a friend and a good Senator?

Her book is called “My Daily Race”, culled from selected blog posts at mydailyrace.com. She started her blog five years ago, probably the same time I started mine. She called it “My daily Race” because it was …”striking a balance between my work in the Senate, my kids and doing the things I love. There is no prize at the end of each race, but there is joy and peace in knowing that I did my best, my children are loved and that life is better for people whose paths I have crossed.”

Media often want to portray her as a triathlete neglecting the good work she does in the Senate: on Women and health issues. Social legislation which is her strength does not hog the headlines the way her brother, Allan Cayetano does. She also admits that she does not have the skils to produce words like a rapid fire machine gun like her mentor (Senator Miriam) does.


Video at the book lauch: Pia talks about the reasons behind the book

Blogging was an option so she could write about her work, not just as a Senator but the work she does outside of the Senate and her life as a mom, a triathlete and the many other things that she choose to or have to be. Blogging was an opportunity to publish her thoughts and work even if traditional media considered it newsworthy or not. When it came to senate work, public work seems to be limited to sensationalized investigative hearings held by the Blue Ribbon Committee.

Many have started to notice Pia’s work as an advocate for women’s rights health and the rights of other minorities. No wonder she was re-elected in the last 2010 elections. The reproductive health bill is discussed over social media and she is quite popular among the RH Bill supporters.

I no longer wonder how she remains cool and collected during RH debates at the Senate. It helps to have a high level of endorphins from running. It helps deal with the negativity at work. Somehow, I agree that senators should do some exercise in between sessions just to be more level-headed in their debates.

Pia and I share similar losses: the loss of a son and a father the past decade. Pia was there to hold my hand during the wake of my son and even took time to talk to me. She even ordered a grief recovery book from the states.

In a way, her book is a grief journal since many entries were written while she was grieving either for her son, dad or her grandmother. It can also be a self-help book if you want it to be.

The book is not meant to picture her as anything more or less than who or what she is. It simply is what it is. Her objective is simply share her life experiences and answer the questions that is often asked of her…what is it like to be a senator? a triathlete? a working mom.

Though she has a good support system at her home and workplace, there are some days that things don’t fall into place.

But she picks herself up and try again.

Two years after the Ampatuan Massacre, and still no justice? #endimpunityinPH #kilosna #IDEI #Nov23

by ⋅ Leave a Comment

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu

I can’t believe it’s been two years since that gruesome Ampatuan Massacre hit me like a bolt of lightning. Shock, dismay and utter disbelief. Outrageous! I condemned the brutality through social media and a blog post over at Blog Watch.

maguindanao-massacre
Photo Credits to Reuter
View Slideshow of Other Photos (Warning: very graphic)

Today I feel the same. Utter disbelief that only two Ampatuans have been arraigned. Only 93 of the 196 accused have been arrested. The 300 and 320 witnesses listed by prosecution and defense lawyers respectively may take 200 years to present to court, according to veteran human rights lawyer and litigator Senator Joker Arroyo.

200 years? Unbelievable.

Why is justice painfully slow? Can’t Judge Jocelyn Solis-Reyes of the Quezon City Regional Trial Court Branch 221 do anything to speed up the process?

I believe the Supreme Court who has jurisdiction over the hearings can do something to speed up the trial.

1. Can’t the least guilty (drivers, police who were forced to be at the crime sceme) bargain for lesser penalty or become state witness? Make a statement to be used against the other.

2. DOJ Secretary De Lima needs to focus on the Ampatuan trial. Give more resources to Quezon City Regional Trial Court Branch 221.

3. Why not fix the government’s Witness Protection Program (WPP) which have been contributing to the delay of the trial.

4. Whatever happened to the four of the accused who have applied for witness conversion but were denied by the Quezon City Regional Trial Court? Can’t they be reconsidered?

5. Can we have daily hearings? Ignore the complaints of the Ampatuan lawyers on the over thrice-weekly hearings.

6. Judge Jocelyn Solis-Reyes should not handle any other cases so she can concentrate fully on the documents and the hearing.

Meanwhile the families of the 58 Ampatuan massacre victims – mostly Mindanao based-journalists, continue to suffer from the loss of their loved ones, most were family breadwinners.

I don’t know the intricacies of the Court but I hope the Department of Justice will also focus on the Ampatuan trial and NOT be fixated over the Arroyo election sabotage case?

But you , my dear readers can help. I would like to invite you to use the power of communication and the Internet to speak out for justice and against the continued impunity with which those who wish to suppress freedom of expression impose the ultimate censorship – death – and how the apathy and inaction of government has made this so.

Here is how:

You may use the following materials to join the online campaign for the International Day to End Impunity (IDEI) Blog Action Day on November 21.

Use the hastags #endimpunityinPH #kilosna #IDEI #Nov23 for the campaign.

This is my contribution for Blog Action Day initiated by the Center for Media Freedom and Responsibility, and the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines as part of the countdown for the International Day to End Impunity on Nov. 23, the second anniversary of the Maguindanao Massacre.

Justice to Journalists/Media Workers killed in the line of duty as of Nov. 10, 2011

CMFR List of Filipino Journalists/Media Workers killed in the line of duty as of Nov. 10, 2011