Touched by An Angel

11May 2016

The myth of closure

So if someone says to us, by word or by action, “You should be over
that by now,” we can recall the words from the Talmud: “Judge no one before you have been in his place.”

When people ask how many kids I have, I always say three children and pretty soon, the question goes on details like “are they in school”, “how old are they?” If I am not in the mood, I just say two children because the conversation will always lead to my son’s whereabouts. The moment I say my third child died 10 years ago, I feel a sense of discomfort.

More often than not “you’ve moved on , right?” , or “you found closure already?”

If a well-meaning friend said something inappropriate with respect to Luijoe’s death, I would try to focus on the intent of the comment instead of the comment itself. Maybe, my friend just didn’t know what to say.

Move on. It is just a chapter in the past but don’t close the book, just turn the page. – UnknownMoving on does not mean closure…

However when they are acquaintances, I find it terribly annoying. The word “closure” carries with it an underlying message of impatience: “OK,” the person appears to be saying, “it’s time to get over it.”

Am I being overly sensitive? Perhaps.

It is not just me though. In meetings with the Compassionate Friends, the word “closure” bothers most parents. The “c word,” seemed to push all our buttons.

It is understandable that our friends feel uneasy in the presence of pain. How they wish they can take away our grief. That’s okay. But bereaved parents resent the implication of failure or self-absorption if one can’t adhere to a recovery schedule.

We do, in our own individual ways, gradually get better at bearing our loss. Mainly, the pain simply softens with the passage of time. Moving on means that we live a new normal never forgetting the love and memories of our beloved.

Ashley Davis Prend says that closure is not for people we love or for feelings.

Closure simply does not exist emotionally, not in a pure sense. We cannot close the door on the past as if it didn’t exist because, after losing someone dear to us, we never forget that person or the love we shared. And in some ways, we never entirely get over the loss. We learn to live with the loss, to integrate it into our new identity.

Imagine if we really could end this chapter in our life, completely. It would mean losing our memories, our connections to those we love. If we really found closure, it would ironically hurt even more because the attachment would be severed. And this attachment is vital to usÃ¢â‚¬â€the memories are treasures to be held close, not closed out.

Perhaps it is better to think in terms of healing. Yes, we can process our pain and move to deeper and deeper levels of healing. Yes, we can find ways to move on and channel our pain into productive activities. Yes, we can even learn to smile again and laugh again and love again.

I have not closed the door on what my loss meant, for if I did that, I would inadvertently close the door on all the love that Luijoe and I shared. And that would truly be a loss too terrible to bear.

08May 2016

Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have even lived a more simple and meagre life than the poor.” Henry David Thoreau

To my dear daughters,

It is Mother’s day today and as you might know, I celebrate it everyday with you even if you are all grown up. Today, I just want to write about the rewards of the simple life.

Let me tell you that about finding ” the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter” to be thrilled by the stars at nights… some of the rewards of the simple life.” Let me tell you about our trip to Batanes.

I could not help but prance around the sloping hills of Racuh-a-Payaman , twirling around and singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music”. Remember how we used to sing that song in the car as we travelled the long and winding road towards Baguio?

Yes, Baguio has a special place in our hearts because it is home to your dad. I could not help singing with the wind as it kept throwing my sun hat away to protect me. I felt the wind was telling me to let go of my fear of the sun’s heat and just feel the cool breeze. I did listen to the sound of the wind as it cools my face during lunch. Want to hear the pounding of the wind that afternoon?

My friends who were with me say it reminded them of the Irish landscape. One felt like crying with the majestic beauty. Another thought “I see God before me”. I was speechless. I thought the picture pretty hills was reminiscent of the English countryside without the Friesian cows and the sheeps grazing the pastures.

I sat down on the grass to get my bearings and just be awed. But your dad wouldn’t allow me to just sit down. You know how I fear heights …but your dad held my hand and said “you are going to regret this”. He dragged me literally to see more than just rolling green hills.

He led me to the tip of the hill where the blueness of the sea kissed the sky. Ever since he learned to use the camera , he kept taking photos of Batanes.

I cannot begin to describe Batanes . Your dad in our article of Batanes “Enhancing the ecological and cultural tourism in Batanes” says:

Despite our preconceptions about the allure of the place, we were still floored by the actual experience of being there. A clear light seems to suffuse the entire province , real life in HD. The drama of the juxtaposition of the landscape and seascape left us gushing and groping for words. We have literally never seen any place like it, although we have done a fair amount of traveling here and abroad

I am not as eloquent as your dad so let me just show you some of the photos he took of me. You know how I am when it comes to photos.

Let me take you to the rugged terrain of Chawa cliffs.

The hedgerows which serves as source of reeds for roofing, protection from soil erosion and firewood. Hedge rows are also proof of the centuries-old practice of Ivatans on appropriate farming technology.

The fishing port in Diura.

The rolling hills in Vayang.

I took this of your dad as he stood beside the Mt. Carmel Chapel that sits in between two bodies of water, the West Philippine Sea and the Pacific Ocean.

The sound of the roaring waves of the West Philippine sea from Batanes Resort where we were billeted

This is the video I took of the resort:

Rock formations in Alapad Hills, the scene of the movie of Hihintayin Kita sa Langit (I Will Wait for You in Heaven) with Richard Gomez and Dawn Zulueta

I took a video while waiting for your dad as he ventured to the steeper side of Alapad.

The super moon that peeked out just before sunset at the Basco Lighthouse

The Ivatan art inspired by the beauty of Batanes.

But more than the majestic beauty of Batanes are the people themselves. You might find beautiful beaches, picturesque mountains, hills and hedgerows in other countries but Batanes is more than a pretty scene.

What makes Batanes endearing to me is the attitude and culture of the Ivatans, the natives of Batanes.

Ivatans are hardy and resilient, attuned to the vagaries of a temperamental climate. They have a strong sense of community. Neighbors look out for each other and every person is either an auntie, uncle or cousin. Bartering is still prevalent. The often-idealized concept of ““bayanihan” is actually alive and well in Batanes.

The pervading culture of Batanes “dictates that it is a privilege to help and be helped, and almost an insult to receive payment.” Isn’t that something to emulate and pass on to our children?

This Honesty Cafe store was started by Aling Elena Gabilo, a retired Math teacher for 40 years. She wanted to provide refreshments to the locals and travelers in the area. Anybody who enters the cafe can get food and drinks and drop whatever payment they feel like in a basket.

Aling Elena does not mind if the customers don’t pay or not. Her ultimate profit is the chance “to awaken her customers’ consciousness to honesty and responsibility and to teach them to live these lessons in the other areas of their lives.”

There is much to learn from the day-to-day experiences and resiliency of the people of Batanes. Life is about helping others and sharing their lives with one another. Rose Belmonte says it best about life in Batanes.

“Life that is lived fully will lead us to knowing who we are and becoming what we are made to be. Giving starts with one person. It starts with one home. One woman prepares food with love. One man takes pride in his labor. One traveler pays the right amount. One child learns to share. A neighbor gives unconditional assistance. Everybody does the same. And we get blessed with a community called Batan in an island simply known as Batanes.”

As your dad and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary in Batanes, I am convinced there is a certain majesty in simplicity. I realized that it is much better to insist on the genuine forms of nature, for simplicity is the greatest adornment of art.

As Richard Holloway says. ““Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.”

I hope we can travel together to Batanes and explore it more. Most of all, I hope you can see how simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

Love,
Mom (and dad)

25Apr 2016

What is citizenship in the digital age?

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“The only title in our democracy superior to that of President is the title of citizen.” Justice Louis D. Brandeis

It is but inevitable that digital media is the future of media. In Ellen Tordesillas’ commentary , she cited that “ internet-based media which includes social media and blogs have overtaken print media as source of information (over 40 percent). The rise of online media as source of information for the public is both good and a matter of concern. Good because of the accessibility of information. Being informed is being empowered. But empowerment comes only with being correctly informed.”

Our challenge in social media is to make sure that we disseminate credible information. What is most important is to be responsible in providing that information in our commentaries, tweets and Facebook wall posts. Being responsible in posting information is part of being a citizen in a digital world. We can start teaching young people to be better citizens in a digital world. Start them young, and as early as kindergarten.

Digital citizenship

The elements of digital citizenship contain “the basic tenets of traditional citizenship: Be kind, respectful and responsible, and just do the right thing.” It is not a matter of following online safety rules. There are nine elements of digital citizenship which define the norms of appropriate, responsible behavior with regard to technology use. . The Concept of Respect, Educate and Protect (REPs) is a way to “explain as well as teach the themes of digital citizenship. Each area encompasses three topics which should be taught beginning at the kindergarten level.” What’s new for educators , parents as well as students — is learning how to apply these ideals to the digital age.

While the concept of “good digital citizen” is a hot topic these days, it gets quickly lumped as “uncool” when it is brought up at the dinner table. A parent suggested swapping the term digital citizen (forever) with leader such as inserting leadership qualities—like courage, consistency, knowledge, compassion, and respect—into conversations. Haven’t parents faced this challenge? Our kids understand the ‘why’ more than the ‘what’ sometimes.

Kinds of citizen

Make it cool to be a good digital citizen. A parent can pose some hypothetical situations that one work through together to sharpen their child’s online leadership skills. Another way is, to catch your child doing awesome things online. Catch them being a digital leader and praise them for it in person.

Steve Mouldey prefers to call it citizenship in the digital age which “means how we actively participate in a society where digital technologies are prevalent.” He suggests that one can “start reframing the focus of digital citizenship so that people can begin taking positive action we need to see how to be a better citizen.” The kinds of citizens as defined by Westheimer and Kahne is one way to start.

Using the examples cited by Steve Mouldey, the digital citizenship version can be the following:

Personally Responsible Digital Citizen: contributes to online campaign by sharing links, signing online petitions such as in change.org or avaaz.org
Participatory Digital Citizen: uses digital technologies and social media to organise actions that benefit society. One example is SavePhilippineSeas.org that aims to protect the country’s rich but threatened marine and coastal resources through information, education, and communication campaigns and community-based projects.
Justice Oriented Digital Citizen: uses digital technologies to critically assess society and seek out ways to effect systemic change. Aside from the thrust of voters education and other advocacies of Blog Watch, other online sites like Takebackthetech.net aims to take control of technology to end violence of women.

Being a good digital citizen is “the same as being a good citizen in the offline world, which means each one of us contributes to the whole when we learn to: Protect ourselves, respect others, obey the law, and be part of the solution, not the problem.” The youth will soon be the future citizens and even leaders of this country. Responsibility is not a matter of teaching them the elements of Digital Citizenship. Responsibility starts at home and setting the guidelines and responsible use of digital technologies.

Dahr Jamail says it well, that “an informed citizenry is the basis for a healthy democracy; independent, non-corporate media are more crucial today than ever before.”

Images from Steve Mouldey, EducatorsTechnology.com, Verafiles,org. Some rights reserved.

As originally posted on Blog Watch, Philippine Online Chronicles

19Apr 2016

Expo Mom 2016: The Motherhood Journey , on April 29-30 at Glorietta

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

Now on its ninth year, Mommy Mundo brings you Expo Mom 2016, on April 29 and 30, Friday and Saturday, at the Glorietta Activity Center, Makati. Expo Mom 2016 is a celebration, not of motherhood but the journey of motherhood and the unique experience we go through on every stage. With this year’s theme, The Motherhood Journey, you’ll find both enlightenment and encouragement whether you’re an expectant mom or a new mom, a mom taking care of a toddler or a mom raising a child at Expo Mom.

Expo Mom: The Motherhood Journey is co-presented by Caltrate Plus, Pampers, and Belo Baby and supported by Sun Life, Clearascar, Mott’s 100% Apple Juice, Downy Baby Gentle, Fuji/Instax, Waters Philippines, and Stanley Ong Photography with Celebrity Mom, Working Mom, Diva Universal and Crossover as media sponsors, Glorietta and Ayala Malls as venue sponsor, and Creative Juice Communications as logistics partner.

Expo Mom is also the most mom and baby friendly event with a mom lounge for breastfeeding and diaper changing area sponsored by Pampers and a play area for kids sponsored by Mott’s 100% Apple Juice. Entrance at Expo Mom is free of charge but a donation of any amount will be accepted for the Mommy Mundo MOMSHARE fund. Proceeds of the fund goes to literacy projects for the street children of Childhope Asia and public School kids under the Alpabasa programs. MomShare also supports needs of underprivileged moms and kids. Mommy Mundo Passport holders get an Expo Mom tote bag.

Expo Mom, running since 2008, is the banner event of Mommy Mundo, an organization dedicated to educating, inspiring, and empowering moms with useful, relevant, and up-to- date information.

At Expo Mom 2016, moms will find answers and solutions to challenges and concerns of her particular stage of motherhood as we feature mom groups and influencers who will share their experiences and learning’s during the onstage talks. Expert resource persons will also be present to impart tips and tools that moms and dads can use to be better in their parenting. Finally, Expo Mom 2016 will also showcase practical and effective products and services for every stage of motherhood. The event hopes to be a sharing of stories, a coming together of moms and dads who strive to be active in their babies and children’s lives.

Expo Mom The Journey: We are reaching out to moms all over the Philippines!

June 18 Expo Mom Cebu

June 25 Expo Mom Negros

July 2 Expo Mom South (Alabang)

July 16-17 Expo Mom North Quezon City

August 27 Expo Mom Davao

October 15 Expo Mom CDO

November 4-6 Expo Mom Holiday (Glorietta Makati)

15Apr 2016

Top 10 highlights of my visit to the Huawei campus at Shenzen, China

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

When I think of Huawei, I remember my first portable modem wifi in 2010, the Huawei E585. For the past three years, my Smart LTE pocket WIFI has seen better days but serves me well in getting connected to the world with the help of my two telcos and other gadgets.

My next encounter with Huawei was during a launch of Globe’s rollout of its biggest network modernization program with the help of Huawei in 2011, that pretty much boosted its network quality . That launch broadened my knowledge that Huawei is not just a manufacturer of portable Wifis. Still, the image of Huawei imprinted in my mind is geeky and high-tech.

A visit to Huawei Headquarters in Shenzhen, China widened my perspective on its array of products, services and their innovation in building a better connected world .

I was invited to be part of the Philippine media and blogger delegation that toured the Huawei campus and exhibit hall on April 8 . We had an interesting mix of writers from the print and magazine, to lifestyle bloggers, fashion bloggers, and even mom bloggers like myself.

The biggest discovery for me as a mom, is that Huawei offers other products and solutions which are just as practical as my trusty old portable wifi.

Let me share the top ten things that fascinated me during my visit to the Huawei campus which by the way is huge and even bigger than the Ateneo de Manila Campus.

1. The wearable devices including the Huawei Watch

The line-up of wearable device is fascinating. Who would have thought that Huawei would come out with something so pretty for the ladies? Huawei included 10 feminine-designed watch faces available on the Jewel and Elegant. There is the fitness tracker , of course.

I am looking forward to the smartwatch/fitness tracker hybrid, the Huawei TalkBand B3. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see this at the Shenzhen showcase.

2. Huawei smartphones

The first time I heard of a Huawei smartphone was from a fellow tech blogger. I wanted to know more of smartphones that are not Apple or Samsung. My blogger friend told me the camera takes great photos. I didn’t believe him since I always associated Huawei with high-tech solutions. I am looking forward to the new Huawei P9 Dual-Lens designed in partnership with German camera producer Leica.

Another tidbit I learned is that Huawei is now in the top three in smartphone sales. Huawei is the third-largest smartphone manufacturer in the world at the moment.

Huawei has made a “bold prediction, saying it plans to surpass Apple as the second-biggest smartphone player in the world in three years.”

3. The 4.5G, Next Step Toward Mobile Broadband (MBB) 2020

Our children and even young at hearts (like myself) are fascinated with virtual reality which by the way, need fast internet connection. A great number of 4.5G networks will be under construction in 2016, making 1Gbps a new benchmark rate for mobile broadband networks.

Huawei will continue to help telecom operators construct ultra-broadband (UBB) mobile networks to expand their business opportunities and to build a fully connected world.

4. Internet of Things (IoT) connected devices

With an increasing rise of Internet of Things (IoT) connected devices, I will soon use my smartphone to check on the person ringing my doorbell.

“Huawei will leverage multiple-input multiple-output (MIMO) to boost mobile coverage to “4.5G” prior to the introduction of 5G, in addition to attaining gigabit-speed fixed broadband through DOCSIS 3.1 and 10 GPON.”

5. Ultra-broadband (UBB) 2020

I am only aware of broadband so what is ultra-broadband? Huawei released its UBB 2020 vision which “intends to drive and lead the connectivity development goals in UBB the world over. The basis for realizing UBB 2020 is providing ultra broadband connectivity over all media. ” This is what Gigaband mean .

6. Mixing the old and new

Telephone booths are a thing of the past but there is no reason to discard these booths. One innovative approach is to convert these booths into a wifi hotspot. See that contraption at the top of the booth. That is the wifi hotspot.

7. Safe city solution

Mothers always want their community to be safe for their children. Who does not want to live in a safe city? Yes, we have Close Circuit TVs (CCTVs) but these are not efficient especially if no one is even monitoring it. Watching a demo of the Safe City solution offered possibilities for incident prevention, emergency response, and evidence collection.

Seated at the command center, it was like being there at the scene, as events unfolded in catching the suspect before the crime occurred.

Huawei’s Safe City Solution offers “cutting-edge E2E security with ubiquitous network access, a convergent command center, video surveillance cloud, and mobile policing.” It uses the same network of connected devices, or Internet of Things (IOT), to afford governments new tools to improve public services such as crime-fighting, and to keep an eye on what is going on.

Perhaps, our government can explore this essential yet innovative technology to ensure a smarter and safer city.

8. eLTE to provide voice and video dispatching,

How useful this is for our disaster-prone country! LTE broadband trunking solution “provide voice and video dispatching, which greatly increases emergency centers’ efficiency.”

9. Video conferencing

This video conferencing in a large conference room is simply amazing , made possible with Huawei’s cinematic-quality HD multimedia MAX PRESENCE system. It makes use of “Huawei 3-in-1 panoramic cameras and patented image-splicing technology enable 10 x 70-inch HD displays to be combined into 1 ultra-wide display with superior Depth of Field (DoF) for cinema-quality, fully immersive experience.” This is quite useful for those with regional offices that require frequent meetings.

With over 7,000 islands in the Philippines, the telemedicine solution needs to be established to make “care-at-a-distance a reality and extends the reach of quality healthcare to remote locations with remote expert consultation, remote medical education, and remote monitoring”

10. Research and development comprise 45% of their total workforce worldwide

Joe Kelly, Vice President for International Media Affairs told us that Huawei has over 70,000 product and solution R&D employees, comprising more than 45% of their total workforce worldwide. It is in their value proposition that “Huawei continuously innovates to meet customer needs and advance our technological leadership.”

This building is devoted to research and development. Every company should devote resources to R&D. “Huawei’s R&D investment is comparable to Google, who spends 15%, while Facebook and Qualcomm spends even more, these two companies invest 22% and 21% in R&D, respectively.” The company is in the right path seeing that their biggest investment is into R&D.

Huawei released its latest wireless base station, GigaRadio, which sets a new benchmark for network construction with Gbps peak rate.

It is this cutting-edge technology that is changing the way families will soon conduct their lives and connect with the world around them. If only our internet is stable and consistent, then the possibilities of connecting our islands will bring us progress. In 2020, I hope to look back at this post and say “this really happened”. Wow.

11Apr 2016

iRegalo: Health as a gift

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

The quote ‘health is wealth’ is common to us. I realized this when I was 46 years old and raring to get back to the corporate world. During the course of a pre-employment checkup , the cardiologist discovered some abnormal findings in my heart. Fortunately, I had a health maintenance organization (HMO) card that covered the diagnostics required to see if my heart had a blockage or not. This discovery would not have happened if I had bothered at to use my HMO for preventive health care. The good news was there was no blockage in my main arteries. I decided to live a healthy life by making it a choice.

How many Filipinos even have preventive health care? For overseas Filipinos, is there a way to ensure their family’s well being despite being far from them? Let me share iRegalo.ph, a start-up that targets the health care of overseas Filipinos. I am quite excited about this new e-commerce player because of the value it provides to health care aside from other online products and services.

iRegalo assembles a comprehensive health care lineup that assures our kababayans their earnings are really spent on their family’s specific medical needs.

iRegalo introduces a new way of sending gifts, something that was not easy to do, nor even available online before. For the first time , there is a gift service offers healthcare choices for the overseas Filipino.

iRegalo’s health care

Health care packages cover dental, optical and general medical care.

One package helps keep their teeth and gums healthy for a whole year. Another provides a consultation with a licensed optometrist plus a new pair of glasses perfectly fitting the requirements of the patient.

With iRegalo General Medical Exam (GME) packages, she could have her regular check-up done at any of the 350+ iRegalo partner clinics nationwide.

Though there are three areas that are covered for now, iRegalo will continue to add services, ensuring that their families in the Philippines get the healthcare coverage they need.

Security built-in

When I first shared iRegalo a few weeks back, the main question was “is online payment secure?” iRegalo took the necessary steps to secure the entire process, using encryption that has been rated A+ by Qualys SSL Labs, an independent testing service.

“We made sure that not only are our packages compelling, but that the entire process is worry-free,” said Gilbert Paras, iRegalo CFO.

iRegalo also accepts the following secure payment options namely: PayPal, Visa, Mastercard, JCB, American Express, UnionPay, and Discover Network.

With just a few clicks at their website at iregalo.ph, Filipinos can send healthcare packages to family and friends anywhere in the Philippines. These packages are honored at hundreds of medical, dental and optical clinics nationwide.
We must always keep our health in good condition because no matter how wealthy we are, if we are not in good physical condition, then all our wealth will only be in vain. Aside from health care packages, you can also send flowers and the latest smartphones and laptops, too.

iRegalo users will be able to send gifts from participating supermarkets and other merchant types all over the country. The various categories in iRegalo is a big step in providing choice and convenience, compared to what is currently available in the market.

03Apr 2016

The power of a praying parent

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

One of the biggest life-changing event in 2013 is when my two children left our home to live independently. My new life as a blogger in 2006 came just when the kids were in college which then prepared me to let go one year at a time. Being alone at home with four cats give me some measure of comfort. It’s just the two of us now…my husband and I . There are many things we can do on our own that we never could do while the children were living with us like overseas travel or just sitting quietly reading a book.

I get flashbacks of my life as a mom to all the ‘first’ times in their lives: the first time the girls left home for a high school retreat, the first time the girls commuted through public transportation, the first time they crossed the streets by themselves, the first time they flew abroad on their own, the first time they drove the car. So many firsts and twenty something years later, the same feeling comes over me as I watched each daughter leave home, and watch her go. A mingling of pride, a bit of tears and mixed emotions overwhelm me as I reflect upon my empty nest. I get sentimental thinking of them as my forever little girls. My husband often worries about the girls and bugs me of updates. I don’t normally ask for updates because I would rather they volunteer that information. I tell my husband to just keep praying.

All I can do now is pray every day. I let go of worrying. It has been said that “worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” Let go and Let God is my motto.

I came across “The Power of a Praying Parent” and it reminds me about how a mother’s job is never done. Let me share that quote from Stormie Omatian:

Being a mother is the greatest of all privileges. And it is also the biggest of all responsibilities. It is the best of all jobs, while at the same time it is the most difficult of all jobs. Being a mother can bring you the highest joy. It can also cause the deepest pain. It can make you feel like a huge success when everything is going well. And cause you to feel like a failure when something goes wrong. I know this because in my nearly thirty years of being a mother, I have experienced all those things many times over. When I brought my first child home from the hospital a few days after he was born, I was painfully aware that I didn’t know what I was doing. So I turned desperately to God for help. Every day. Sometimes on an hourly basis!

Through that time of depending on God to show me the way, I discovered that God doesn’t want us to raise our children without His help. Of course He wants us to do our part and “train up a child in the way he should go”, but He also wants us to look to Him to give us the wisdom, strength, and ability we need to do the job well. One of the most important parts of our job as a parent is to keep our children covered in prayer.

I believe that being a parent is becoming more and more difficult each year because of what our children are exposed to and bombarded with everywhere they turn. But we don’t have to be worried sick, dreading what is around the corner, or fearing the worst. We don’t have to be tossed to and fro by every new stage and age and trend and fad. We have the power to make a big difference in our children’s lives through prayer. That doesn’t mean we abdicate our responsibilities as parents. It means we partner with God to raise our children as we pray for every aspect of their lives. When we don’t pray for them, we leave our children’s lives up to chance.

Praying for our children doesn’t mean that nothing will ever go wrong in their lives. But when it does, we don’t have to beat ourselves up for not being perfect parents. Besides, it’s not being a perfect parent that makes the difference in a child’s life, for there are no perfect parents. It’s being a praying parent that makes a big difference. And that’s something we can all be.”

No one is a perfect parent but we can all be a praying parent. I am aware of my failures in the past and I pray my children will count the times I picked up myself from the rubble and never went back.

Our two daughters will always be home.

And my Luijoe, of course. They live with us, in our hearts.

I will be constantly reminded that my children will always be in my heart because home is where the heart is . With the help of prayers, I know they will be safe , loved and full of energy to realize their goals in life.

25Mar 2016

Luijoe, my son and The Seven Last Words

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 9 Comments

Luijoe meadow somewhere in the North, where his grandparents live today

The Holy Week is one of the most memorable time of the year. Being a “cafeteria Catholic” my religious faith is at best mediocre. Luijoe, my innocent and religious 6 year old son often chastised me for not praying hard enough .

Painting on the wall of Church of Holy Sacrifice, UP Campus

I felt like a terrible mother who led a ho-hum religious existence. Gosh, we learn so much from our children , don’t we? It is the Holy Week which reminds me of my son. The image of the dying Jesus when he blurted out “Woman, behold thy son, Behold thy mother” struck a chord in my son’s heart.

Luijoe photo taken at Luijoe meadow during Holy Week 2000

Every night, Luijoe pointed to that image asking me over and over again what it meant. He pointed to John the Beloved “Who is he? How is he related to the Mother of Jesus?” Strange he asked about John. I cuddled Luijoe in my arms and explained that the dying Jesus wanted John the Beloved to take care of his grieving mother. How was I to know that my own son would die the following weeks? During the funeral, I remember those last words and took it literally to mean that my family or my friends would take care of me in my bereavement, that there would be “John the Beloved” who will help me.

When a death as devastating as the loss of a child hits you, one tries to find meaning. One tries to make sense out of it. The time came when I realized that those last words were not about me. It was about me helping those who are in pain , because the grief journey is not easy. My son made sure that I would not be alone in this journey as long as I continue to help others. He made sure I remember to be the “John the Beloved” and be compassionate to other people’s pain.

I look back and reflect on that poignant scene. It is my son’s way of reminding me that I will find comfort and still be a comfort to others:

He who was nailed to the cross, wanted to spare His mother further pain, not only for that moment, but for her entire future. He put her in the care of the apostle whom ““He loved” and whom He knew would care for her in return. Even as Jesus was dying, He went beyond himself to addresses someone else’s need.

Luijoe meadow at night, taken by Sean, my brother-in-law 2010 Christmas day

The Seven Last Words remind me of my son who died so young yet I know he continues to live in me through my work, my actions and devotion. Luijoe is with me everyday.

Here is something soothing:
Mozart Ave Verum Corpus por Leonard Bernstein

19Mar 2016

Healing thoughts

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 8 Comments

I am listening to “Tomaso Albinoni- Adagio in G Minor by Gizatto” as I write this post.

I’m exhausted. Not from work but from trying to figure out things from 3:00 PM till midnight yesterday. That’s all I can do. I can only do so much. It is not my job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, life. There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does. I trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.

I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday – Natalia Campbell

The way my life is unfolding is good.

Who I am and the way I do things is good enough for today.

Who I am and the way I did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Today, I will let go and take in healing thoughts.

At times like these, I need to think healing thoughts.

Life is like riding a bicycle . In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving Albert EinsteinWhen in doubt about my timing or present position in life, I assure myself that all is well. I am right where I am meant to be. I reassure myself that others are too.

When I ponder the future, I tell myself that it will be good. When I look back at the past, I relinquish regrets.

When I feel discomfort, I know it will pass. When I identify a need, I tell myself that it will be met.

When I notice problems, I affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.

When I worry about those I love, I ask God to protect and care for them. When I worry about myself, I ask God to do the same.

When I think about others, I think of love. When I think of myself, I think of love.

I watch as my thoughts transform to reality.

Today, I will think healing thoughts.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” Seneca , Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

15Mar 2016

Once upon a time, an Easter egg detective hunt

by webs ⋅ Leave a Comment

Photo via Flickr by Abigail Batchelder. Some rights reserved.

Candies are a no-no in the house except on Valentine’s day, Easter Holidays and Christmas Season. I only display them on the table because they are pretty and colorful. I know I shouldn’t tempt the kids with these goodies but that’s not a problem because they are conscious of the amount of food they eat. They also know that they are at high risk of diabetes. The hubby is quite lucky as he doesn’t have this genetic problem and can tolerate high carbo diets. The strange thing is he can’t take in high amounts of protein due to gouty arthritis.

so anyway….

I remember the last time I organized an Easter Egg hunt was 20 years ago. Since our house didn’t have a big garden that time, I thought of placing the eggs inside the house. I added a twist. To find the eggs, they were given clues which led to another clue and so on and so forth. I can’t remember the clues now but I wrote it in riddles. I dubbed it an Easter Egg detective hunt. Two of the eggs were strategically placed inside their dad’s shirt while he was napping. I caught the hunt in video. The look on one of my daughter’s face as she found the eggs was priceless. Laughing and laughing! I know, I know… I can get “crazy”.

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