Touched by An Angel

11Apr 2016

iRegalo: Health as a gift

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

The quote ‘health is wealth’ is common to us. I realized this when I was 46 years old and raring to get back to the corporate world. During the course of a pre-employment checkup , the cardiologist discovered some abnormal findings in my heart. Fortunately, I had a health maintenance organization (HMO) card that covered the diagnostics required to see if my heart had a blockage or not. This discovery would not have happened if I had bothered at to use my HMO for preventive health care. The good news was there was no blockage in my main arteries. I decided to live a healthy life by making it a choice.

How many Filipinos even have preventive health care? For overseas Filipinos, is there a way to ensure their family’s well being despite being far from them? Let me share iRegalo.ph, a start-up that targets the health care of overseas Filipinos. I am quite excited about this new e-commerce player because of the value it provides to health care aside from other online products and services.

iRegalo assembles a comprehensive health care lineup that assures our kababayans their earnings are really spent on their family’s specific medical needs.

iRegalo introduces a new way of sending gifts, something that was not easy to do, nor even available online before. For the first time , there is a gift service offers healthcare choices for the overseas Filipino.

iRegalo’s health care

Health care packages cover dental, optical and general medical care.

One package helps keep their teeth and gums healthy for a whole year. Another provides a consultation with a licensed optometrist plus a new pair of glasses perfectly fitting the requirements of the patient.

With iRegalo General Medical Exam (GME) packages, she could have her regular check-up done at any of the 350+ iRegalo partner clinics nationwide.

Though there are three areas that are covered for now, iRegalo will continue to add services, ensuring that their families in the Philippines get the healthcare coverage they need.

Security built-in

When I first shared iRegalo a few weeks back, the main question was “is online payment secure?” iRegalo took the necessary steps to secure the entire process, using encryption that has been rated A+ by Qualys SSL Labs, an independent testing service.

“We made sure that not only are our packages compelling, but that the entire process is worry-free,” said Gilbert Paras, iRegalo CFO.

iRegalo also accepts the following secure payment options namely: PayPal, Visa, Mastercard, JCB, American Express, UnionPay, and Discover Network.

With just a few clicks at their website at iregalo.ph, Filipinos can send healthcare packages to family and friends anywhere in the Philippines. These packages are honored at hundreds of medical, dental and optical clinics nationwide.
We must always keep our health in good condition because no matter how wealthy we are, if we are not in good physical condition, then all our wealth will only be in vain. Aside from health care packages, you can also send flowers and the latest smartphones and laptops, too.

iRegalo users will be able to send gifts from participating supermarkets and other merchant types all over the country. The various categories in iRegalo is a big step in providing choice and convenience, compared to what is currently available in the market.

03Apr 2016

The power of a praying parent

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

One of the biggest life-changing event in 2013 is when my two children left our home to live independently. My new life as a blogger in 2006 came just when the kids were in college which then prepared me to let go one year at a time. Being alone at home with four cats give me some measure of comfort. It’s just the two of us now…my husband and I . There are many things we can do on our own that we never could do while the children were living with us like overseas travel or just sitting quietly reading a book.

I get flashbacks of my life as a mom to all the ‘first’ times in their lives: the first time the girls left home for a high school retreat, the first time the girls commuted through public transportation, the first time they crossed the streets by themselves, the first time they flew abroad on their own, the first time they drove the car. So many firsts and twenty something years later, the same feeling comes over me as I watched each daughter leave home, and watch her go. A mingling of pride, a bit of tears and mixed emotions overwhelm me as I reflect upon my empty nest. I get sentimental thinking of them as my forever little girls. My husband often worries about the girls and bugs me of updates. I don’t normally ask for updates because I would rather they volunteer that information. I tell my husband to just keep praying.

All I can do now is pray every day. I let go of worrying. It has been said that “worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” Let go and Let God is my motto.

I came across “The Power of a Praying Parent” and it reminds me about how a mother’s job is never done. Let me share that quote from Stormie Omatian:

Being a mother is the greatest of all privileges. And it is also the biggest of all responsibilities. It is the best of all jobs, while at the same time it is the most difficult of all jobs. Being a mother can bring you the highest joy. It can also cause the deepest pain. It can make you feel like a huge success when everything is going well. And cause you to feel like a failure when something goes wrong. I know this because in my nearly thirty years of being a mother, I have experienced all those things many times over. When I brought my first child home from the hospital a few days after he was born, I was painfully aware that I didn’t know what I was doing. So I turned desperately to God for help. Every day. Sometimes on an hourly basis!

Through that time of depending on God to show me the way, I discovered that God doesn’t want us to raise our children without His help. Of course He wants us to do our part and “train up a child in the way he should go”, but He also wants us to look to Him to give us the wisdom, strength, and ability we need to do the job well. One of the most important parts of our job as a parent is to keep our children covered in prayer.

I believe that being a parent is becoming more and more difficult each year because of what our children are exposed to and bombarded with everywhere they turn. But we don’t have to be worried sick, dreading what is around the corner, or fearing the worst. We don’t have to be tossed to and fro by every new stage and age and trend and fad. We have the power to make a big difference in our children’s lives through prayer. That doesn’t mean we abdicate our responsibilities as parents. It means we partner with God to raise our children as we pray for every aspect of their lives. When we don’t pray for them, we leave our children’s lives up to chance.

Praying for our children doesn’t mean that nothing will ever go wrong in their lives. But when it does, we don’t have to beat ourselves up for not being perfect parents. Besides, it’s not being a perfect parent that makes the difference in a child’s life, for there are no perfect parents. It’s being a praying parent that makes a big difference. And that’s something we can all be.”

No one is a perfect parent but we can all be a praying parent. I am aware of my failures in the past and I pray my children will count the times I picked up myself from the rubble and never went back.

Our two daughters will always be home.

And my Luijoe, of course. They live with us, in our hearts.

I will be constantly reminded that my children will always be in my heart because home is where the heart is . With the help of prayers, I know they will be safe , loved and full of energy to realize their goals in life.

25Mar 2016

Luijoe, my son and The Seven Last Words

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 9 Comments

Luijoe meadow somewhere in the North, where his grandparents live today

The Holy Week is one of the most memorable time of the year. Being a “cafeteria Catholic” my religious faith is at best mediocre. Luijoe, my innocent and religious 6 year old son often chastised me for not praying hard enough .

Painting on the wall of Church of Holy Sacrifice, UP Campus

I felt like a terrible mother who led a ho-hum religious existence. Gosh, we learn so much from our children , don’t we? It is the Holy Week which reminds me of my son. The image of the dying Jesus when he blurted out “Woman, behold thy son, Behold thy mother” struck a chord in my son’s heart.

Luijoe photo taken at Luijoe meadow during Holy Week 2000

Every night, Luijoe pointed to that image asking me over and over again what it meant. He pointed to John the Beloved “Who is he? How is he related to the Mother of Jesus?” Strange he asked about John. I cuddled Luijoe in my arms and explained that the dying Jesus wanted John the Beloved to take care of his grieving mother. How was I to know that my own son would die the following weeks? During the funeral, I remember those last words and took it literally to mean that my family or my friends would take care of me in my bereavement, that there would be “John the Beloved” who will help me.

When a death as devastating as the loss of a child hits you, one tries to find meaning. One tries to make sense out of it. The time came when I realized that those last words were not about me. It was about me helping those who are in pain , because the grief journey is not easy. My son made sure that I would not be alone in this journey as long as I continue to help others. He made sure I remember to be the “John the Beloved” and be compassionate to other people’s pain.

I look back and reflect on that poignant scene. It is my son’s way of reminding me that I will find comfort and still be a comfort to others:

He who was nailed to the cross, wanted to spare His mother further pain, not only for that moment, but for her entire future. He put her in the care of the apostle whom ““He loved” and whom He knew would care for her in return. Even as Jesus was dying, He went beyond himself to addresses someone else’s need.

Luijoe meadow at night, taken by Sean, my brother-in-law 2010 Christmas day

The Seven Last Words remind me of my son who died so young yet I know he continues to live in me through my work, my actions and devotion. Luijoe is with me everyday.

Here is something soothing:
Mozart Ave Verum Corpus por Leonard Bernstein

19Mar 2016

Healing thoughts

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 8 Comments

I am listening to “Tomaso Albinoni- Adagio in G Minor by Gizatto” as I write this post.

I’m exhausted. Not from work but from trying to figure out things from 3:00 PM till midnight yesterday. That’s all I can do. I can only do so much. It is not my job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, life. There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does. I trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.

I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday – Natalia Campbell

The way my life is unfolding is good.

Who I am and the way I do things is good enough for today.

Who I am and the way I did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Today, I will let go and take in healing thoughts.

At times like these, I need to think healing thoughts.

Life is like riding a bicycle . In order to keep your balance, you must keep moving Albert EinsteinWhen in doubt about my timing or present position in life, I assure myself that all is well. I am right where I am meant to be. I reassure myself that others are too.

When I ponder the future, I tell myself that it will be good. When I look back at the past, I relinquish regrets.

When I feel discomfort, I know it will pass. When I identify a need, I tell myself that it will be met.

When I notice problems, I affirm there will be a timely solution and a gift from the problem.

When I worry about those I love, I ask God to protect and care for them. When I worry about myself, I ask God to do the same.

When I think about others, I think of love. When I think of myself, I think of love.

I watch as my thoughts transform to reality.

Today, I will think healing thoughts.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” Seneca , Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

15Mar 2016

Once upon a time, an Easter egg detective hunt

by webs ⋅ Leave a Comment

Photo via Flickr by Abigail Batchelder. Some rights reserved.

Candies are a no-no in the house except on Valentine’s day, Easter Holidays and Christmas Season. I only display them on the table because they are pretty and colorful. I know I shouldn’t tempt the kids with these goodies but that’s not a problem because they are conscious of the amount of food they eat. They also know that they are at high risk of diabetes. The hubby is quite lucky as he doesn’t have this genetic problem and can tolerate high carbo diets. The strange thing is he can’t take in high amounts of protein due to gouty arthritis.

so anyway….

I remember the last time I organized an Easter Egg hunt was 20 years ago. Since our house didn’t have a big garden that time, I thought of placing the eggs inside the house. I added a twist. To find the eggs, they were given clues which led to another clue and so on and so forth. I can’t remember the clues now but I wrote it in riddles. I dubbed it an Easter Egg detective hunt. Two of the eggs were strategically placed inside their dad’s shirt while he was napping. I caught the hunt in video. The look on one of my daughter’s face as she found the eggs was priceless. Laughing and laughing! I know, I know… I can get “crazy”.

09Mar 2016

Sending gifts: Simple joys & acts of love from OFWs & Balikbayans

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“What do you want for pasalubong? I will prepare a balikbayan box.”, my siblings asked via Skype. I always look forward to reunions. It is not often my siblings from the US come home to the Philippines. The last time we were together here was in 2003, when our father died. So when a wedding in the family last January got scheduled, everyone made travel plans.

2016 Photo by Widengrens Creative Media

The balikbayan box is so precious because it conveys love in a box, and also represents hard work and love for our family and friends.

Photo via Flickr by Jeff Youngstrom. Some rights reserved.

When I picked up my siblings from the international airport, I often wonder what is inside each of those balikbayan boxes. A Manila Bulletin article “What’s the most precious thing you’ve ever put in your balkibayan box?” gives us a glimpse.

My favorites are: the iPad2 I sent my wife for her birthday and the laptop I sent to my daughter so she won’t have to go to computer shops anymore for school stuff. —Randy Villegas, Saudi Arabia

My mother has cancer and I send her medicines… I find comfort in the fact that even if I can’t always be with her; I can still take care of her with the medicines that I send. —Doeleth in KSA

I saved just so I can buy clothes, shoes, even groceries that I can fit in a big balikbayan box. Opening these boxes has been a favorite bonding activity of my family. —Aileen in Dubai, UAE

Photo via Flickr by Angela Sabas. Some rights reserved.

The balikbayan box that my siblings prepare truly represents the love and joy of giving. It is different for every one. One sister packs her balikbayan box with food items while another sibling puts in towels and bedsheets. Another family member, sends books or costume jewelry from garage sales. These are items not normally found in the Philippines. But see, there are many common items inside the balikbayan box like canned goods, chocolates, bedsheets, clothes, or personal care products like lotions, perfumes, make-up, and gadgets like mobile phones and tablets. Sometimes, there are very specific items like a particular pair of shoes or shirts bought on sale. Then, there is the Overseas Filipino Worker (OFWs) who prepare the box for months, as they watch out for sale items. Whatever the gift items, our OFW or balikbayan family member is sending love inside the box when they bring it home or sent through a courier.

Photo via flickr by Island Pacific. Some rights reserved.

But there are times, you want to send it ASAP like birthday, graduation or anniversary gifts. The delivery date of a balikbayan box is usually not reliable. It could take 60 days or, even longer to arrive. Sometimes, when there is an occasion, or the item is perishable, it becomes a challenge. It’s a good thing there are now options like iRegalo that allow you to easily send items . Their site, www.iregalo.ph, allows you to buy items like smartphones, flowers, and other gadgets online. They will then deliver nationwide in the Philippines. Now, that is so convenient.

Pretty soon, iregalo will be introducing new product categories to give the OFW choice and control. Now this is something to watch out for. How exciting!

03Mar 2016

Top 10 interesting things to know about Quorn, a deliciously healthy meat alternative

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

I was at the Great British Festival last weekend to check out Quorn, a deliciously healthy meat alternative . Ever since I chose to be semi-vegetarian (or pesco-vegetarian), I have been searching for food alternatives. I tell you , I am so impressed.

I ate pasta, longaniza and chicken nuggets. It tasted exactly like real chicken nuggets. I was not able to taste any weird flavors that I often associate with soy products. I swear by it . This is one reason I am sharing it in my blog. I am so excited that it will soon arrive in the Philippines.

Did you know that excessive meat consumption is harmful to your health and even to the planet? Pressing health issues such as obesity and heart diseases have been linked to excessive meat consumption. That is one reason, I chose to be pesco-vegetarian. And did you know that meat production is one of the biggest causes of greenhouse gas emissions that contribute to climate change?

Food production is a major contributor to emissions and thus climate change. Livestock specifically is estimated to contribute over 14% of greenhouse gas emissions – a greater share than transport.

Let me share Quorn’s press release on the “Top 10 reasons why Quorn is better for you and better for the planet”

Quorn aims to combat these issues by delivering their mission – to help the world eat more healthily and sustainably.

Here are 10 interesting facts you should know about Quorn:

DELICIOUSLY HEALTHY MEAT ALTERNATIVE

Quorn is a deliciously healthy meat alternative that best replicates the taste and texture of meat, perfect for creating healthier versions of your favorite meals.

MADE FROM NATURAL INGREDIENTS

Quorn’s main ingredient is MYCOPROTEIN, a naturally healthy protein that is meat-free, low in saturated fats, but high in protein and fiber. Mycoprotein is made through fermentation, a process similar to how bread, beer and yoghurt are made. It is non-GMO.

MEAT-FREE PROTEIN

Quorn products are vegetarian.

It has a Vegan and Gluten-free range, ideal for the health conscious and health conscious to be.

GREAT TASTING PRODUCT RANGE

Quorn has a full range of great tasting products — from ingredients that allow you to cook from scratch to ready to cook/ ready to eat options.

YOUR DIET BUDDY

Quorn generally has 200 fewer calories per meal and 0% cholesterol. Now your journey to #twentysixTHIN and achieving those #bodygoals will be much easier!

BETTER FOR YOU

High protein, high fiber
85% less saturated fat than lean beef
200 fewer calories per meal
0% cholesterol

BETTER FOR THE PLANET

Quorn products have a carbon footprint approximately 90% less than beef and 75% less than chicken.
It uses 40-90% less land and water than different meat options.
Quorn Foods is the first global meat-alternative brand to achieve third-party certification of its carbon footprint figures.

TRUSTED BY EXPERTS

Quorn aims to be the best at helping consumers eat less meat. It is recommended by doctors, nutritionists and heart foundations all over the world.

WORLD LEADER

Quorn is the world leader in meat alternatives, with over 3 billion servings made over the last 30 years.

SOON IN THE PHILIPPINES

Quorn is present in many countries in Europe; in the U.S, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and soon in Asia. Arriving in the Philippines soon, get ready to taste the deliciously healthy goodness of Quorn!

For more information, visit www.Quorn.com and www.facebook.com/QuornPH.

01Mar 2016

Life is about creating yourself

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” George Bernard Shaw

I caught the George Bernard Shaw quote a few days ago and it made me reflect back on my life. It is almost 16 years that my son passed away.

I do not recognize myself from the person I was in the past. I am more confident. I appreciate myself more. I have a new life, helping bereaved parents through the Compassionate friends , blogging and advocating social change for social good. I am having the time of my life and feeling beautiful, loved and being loving.

I was a full time mother from 1987 till 2005 where I stayed home most of the time. Though I am proud to be a mom, I knew I was more than just a mother after finding myself in an empty nest. The desire to do more started when the kids went to college. There was this inner desire to provide public service like my father did.

In losing my son, I was meant to bring out my service oriented nature to other bereaved parents and the nation. Not that it had to take a death to push me there. I had to seek the meaning of life, and why I outlived my son. It brought my dormant talents of organizing and initiating service oriented projects (filipinaimages.com, blogwatch.ph, compassionatefriends.info, Philippine Blog Awards)

I did not find myself. I had to go beyond my comfort zone, innovating myself, doing things that were not the old me.

Writing is not one of my talents. I had to learn to write creatively for the blog. I promoted my grief recovery blog not knowing that this was the start of my NEW NORMAL. I am now in online publishing and using this to bring awareness to my advocacy. Aside from grief recovery, I embarked into citizen media for voters education , and as a features editor for Philippine Online Chronicles. Me, an editor? From a homemaker , I am now thrust to a whole new world of media. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine I would be on TV, newspaper, radio, magazine as a resource person for grief, then later in blogging. Blogging gave me new friends, reconnected with old friendships, brought me to travel places. It taught me to be more confident.

I am happier. My son’s life ended too soon but I had to experience this pain and learn to go out of my comfort zone and reach out to others. That is the meaning of life I had to discover for myself.

It took me a long time to realize that grief is inevitable and that misery is optional.

What does do good is doing good. I decided to lead the second part of my life differently and better than I would have imagined “in the name of my son, Luijoe. I know that as I reach out to bereaved parents through The Compassionate Friends”, the world is changed in some small way for the better, and then the actions taken become my living tribute to my son. And then Luijoe is never entirely gone.

Life is good.

26Feb 2016

Fighting With Your Spouse Is Good For Your Health

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ 9 Comments

The captivating news feature , Fighting With Your Spouse Is Good For Your Health caught my eye. But hold your horses, war freak spouses. Listen, it has to be a good fight . Not the cat-dog fight. Preliminary results from a University of Michigan study found couples that suppress anger die earlier than couples in which one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict..

Researchers looked at 192 couples in Tecumseh, Mich. during a 17-year period placing them into one of four categories. The first category included couples in which both partners communicated their anger.

The second and third groups included one spouse that expresses while the other suppresses anger and the forth group involved couples where both the husband and wife suppress their anger and brood, lead author Ernest Harburg said in a press release.

“Comparison between couples in which both people suppress their anger, and the three other types of couples, are very intriguing,” said Harburg, professor emeritus of the U-M School of Public Health and the psychology department.

When both spouses suppress their anger at the other when unfairly attacked, earlier death was twice as likely than in all other types.

Ernest Harburg clarified that “If you bury your anger, and you brood on it, you resent the other person or the attacker, and you don’t try to resolve the problem, then you’re in trouble.”

The key factor is communication. Filipinos are not too hot on a confrontational talk including my husband but with practice we found ways to argue and resolve amicably. How?

1. Avoid “You should or you should not”
At the heat of any argument, I don’t butt in and say “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You should be calm”. When I am disappointed or impatient with his attitude, I just say “I feel sad that you are feeling that way”. By owning my feelings, I am not accusing him or making him responsible for my of sadness. Even if he seeks advice, I still say “I feel this is the right approach” . I never say ““you’re wrong.” I often try hard to look for areas of agreement and work on them.

2. Don’t beat around the bush in our conversations to control the reactions of your spouse. Guilt producing comments only produce guilt.
Hinting at what we need doesn’t work. Our spouse can’t read our mind and they are more likely to resent our indirectedness. The best way to take responsibility for what we want is to ask for it directly. And, we can insist on directness too. If I need to say no to a particular request, I make it known. If my spouse tries to control me through a conversation, I refuse to participate.

3. When I’m wrong, I admit it.
I make mistakes now and then, so I say ““You’re absolutely right, dear, I know it’s my fault and here is what I’ll do to make amends.” Even if I am NOT wrong, at least I give him the benefit of the doubt, ““I may be wrong, let’s examine at the facts together.” It’s hard to argue with that.

4. Communicate with your husband when he is out of his cave
Some husbands like mine hibernate to their cave for solitude when he is thinking about a problem. Many men withdraw until they find a solution to the problem. I don’t know if women hibernate in a cave. I know I don’t. One thing I learned is Never disturb your man while he is growling in his cave.

It pays to have a good fight when both are willing to resolve like two mature invidividuals.

Any ideas to add on how to resolve your problems?

24Feb 2016

10 lessons from 10 years of blogging

by Noemi Lardizabal-Dado ⋅ Leave a Comment

What an incredible journey!

Today, I celebrate 10 years of blogging but 10 years ago there was nothing to celebrate. I was wallowing in a pit of unspeakable grief .

I lost my precious son 16 years ago. I don’t know how I survived , but I managed somehow because here I am, blogging about the resolution of my grief journey. Before I started blogging, I was literally drowning in sorrow. Reading blog posts about parents who lost a child helped me cope but they were mainly based in the US. I could not find anyone who wrote about grief in the Philippines. I wanted to share my story and possibly offer hope that there is a new normal after the loss of a child. Losing a child is the ultimate tragedy that can ever happen to a parent. My whole world collapsed on the day my son died. To even describe the pain is not possible. The pain is gut-wrenching and indescribable.

Losing a son felt like the end of the world to me . I wanted to die along with him but I had to remember that I still had two children and a husband to look after. I knew I had to transform my pain to something that will help not only myself but everyone around me. One night as I sat down on my couch (yes that is the same couch below), I found out there was no use making sense of my son’s death but there is hope in making sense of my life. I pondered “What can I do about it now?” “How can I help?” or “How do I pick up the pieces and go on living as meaningful as possible?” The answer was getting out of my comfort zone by helping others like myself.

On February 24, 2006, I launched aboutmyrecovery.com and wrote my first post “I chose joy over sadness. It is said that grief is inevitable but misery is optional. I realized that it did no good to sit in my misery pit. It did no good for the loss of my son to lead to the loss of two. What does do good is doing good. I decided to lead the second part of my life differently and better than I would have imagined …in the name of my son, Luijoe. I know that as I reach out to bereaved parents , the world is changed in some small way for the better, and then the actions taken become my living tribute to my son. And then Luijoe is never entirely gone.”

I am bringing back the original logo of this blog to celebrate 10 years of blogging. Speaking of celebration, I don’t have a blog giveaway but instead I want to share 10 things I learned in the past 10 years of blogging.

1. When you write about yourself, it’s never just yourself.

Writing is a work in progress. I am still learning. I used to ask myself , “who would ever read my depressing posts?”. I found out the story is not really about my pain. It was what my readers could relate to. Each of us have lost someone in our lives. My blog was just a vehicle. Who am I anyway? Why should my life be so interesting to readers? It could be interesting only up to a certain point. There’s got to be a point when it is no longer talking about myself. Or even when I am there are points others can relate to .

2. A new normal after losing a loved one is possible. Being a blogger is my new normal.

Touched by an Angel in e-book format

When I look back at my grief journey, the turning point came when I became a blogger. It must have been my angel that touched me that one night.

That is why I chose to call my blog, “Touched by an Angel”.

Looking at my first post in 2006, I merely wanted to give hope to parents, siblings and grandparents that there is a new normal after a loss of a child. I did not realize that I would be touched by my own blog. Being a blogger is my new normal. Sharing the changes in my new normal after the death of a child is one way of reaching out to others. I offer hope that life can still continue on despite the pain and that pain is a wonderful teacher. Never in my wildest dream did it occur to me that this new life without my son would open doors to an even more meaningful life.

3. Develop a thick skin and stay focused on my blog goals.

I am into blogging for many reasons like all bloggers have their own reasons. I am in it for the long haul. Yes, I can be opinionated but it’s all part of being a blogger. I make a stand whether it is popular or not. My entries may have hurt a few bloggers and readers. I apologize (when given the opportunity) when feelings are hurt but it doesn’t mean I don’t stand by my entries. Bloggers should not just know the technical side of blogging. One must be able to stay on track, stay committed and hopefully stay sane. Reality is, not everyone will like you. The more high profile you are, the more the criticisms. The more successful you are, the more some people will want to see you fail. One tip I learned from my favorite blogger is to develop a thick skin.

4. Criticisms helped me become a better blogger.

It was the year 2007 when I received a lot of criticisms . I guess it was because I was so new in blogging and made mistakes. Oh those hurtful comments inspired me to prove that I will be better. Instead of focusing on the mean comments, I worked doubly hard to improve on my blogging style. I often tell myself, “you have experienced the worst pain. You will get through this.” As a blogger mentor said, “Don’t let them beat you down. Stay focused and clear headed. If you purposely inspire negative reactions, then run with it. Enjoy getting what you asked for. If you don’t and get smacked, think it through, respond with care, and keep on blogging.”

In my early days of blogging, I received a comment that I was a “trying hard blogger”.

My reply:

Yes, you are right. I am trying hard to be a better blogger. Thanks for reminding me.

5. You are essentially what you write and will be judged accordingly by your readers.

Many years ago, a blogger once opined that I don’t have credibility but do I care? No, because that blogger is not in my community. The blogger’s perception on my questionable credibility is real for that blogger. I may not be credible to that blogger but my community of readers think I am. Why do you think they want to read my blog? Why do they subscribe to my feed? Why do they follow me?

The basic equation is really:

Perceived Trustworthiness + Perceived Expertise = Perceived Credibility

6. Embrace change .

Blogging has changed a lot in the last 10 years. Social media networks started to evolve in 2007. I am known as @momblogger in twitter. As one of the early adopters of any new thing that explodes online, I got hold of my monicker when twitter became popular in 2007. My readers are more likely to follow my blog posts on social media – clicking through to my links when I post them on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. From this original blog (aboutmyrecovery.com), I have three other blogs : pinoyfoodblog.com (recipes), techiegadgets.com, beautyoverfifty.net (lifestyle) and a lot of social networks often known as “momblogger”.

7. “Personal branding is very powerful because it sends a clear, consistent message about who you are and what you have to offer.”

I had no idea about personal branding nor did I want to dominate a niche on mom bloggers. I simply wanted to be called “mom blogger” as an alternative name so the younger bloggers will stop calling me “ma’am”. @momblogger was simply more acceptable. I discovered that my life as “momblogger” encompassed not just being a mom and a blogger. I nurture both my family and community. My focus as a citizen advocate allows me to bring out underplayed stories, fight for women and family issues which are close to my heart. That is who I am. It makes me happy to be of help to others and at the same time it allows me to leave my digital footprints behind.

8. Popularity is not the same as influence.

One commands attention ; the other inspires action. Brands dictate too much on their own agenda but do they really care about mothers’ needs? Have they been communicating with moms effectively? The Social Mom is well connected and influential in her community. Moms like myself who transitioned from active parenting to being involved parents must not be underestimated. Advertisers and brands seem to forget or underestimate a growing circle of Mom influencers and advocates who no longer have young kids. This group of Moms are my generation , older women, social media savvy, still involved with our families, wiser (we would like to think) after many successes and failures during our parenting years.

9. “Live to love and love to live! Relationship is everything in the Social Media world”.

This is actually a quote which reminds me about my early months in blogging. I wanted to share my blog to have a wider reach. I went to my first blog event, iBlog 2 in April 2006 and introduced myself to popular bloggers. That was my first break. From 10 readers a day, blog traffic grew to 100. Today , this blog gets a minimum of 2,000 unique hits. Followers on my twitter account, @momblogger has now reached over 20,000. My biggest facebook community is my pinoy food blog with over 569,000 followers.

The lesson is : “Focus on how to be social, not on how to do social.”

10. Content is king. Sharing is queen.

Will blogging one day be a thing of the past? Blogging is here to stay but it is changing…a lot! I use my social media networks to deliver the snippets of long form content from this blog. I want to believe blogging will continue to evolve in exciting new ways. Ten years ago, I started blogging without a clue about what was about to happen to my life. I remember my humble beginnings before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest came. I continue to rediscover technology and see ways to improve my life and others, as well.

Ten years of blogging.

Do I miss my beloved Luijoe?

Of course , I do. Is there sadness or a tear now and then? Yes. But there is a big difference. The sadness no longer steals the joy away. The awful pain and emptiness diminished over time, as I persisted in enjoying the memories of the moments spent together, not dwelling on the times which will never happen. That pain is giving me courage to focus on my purpose in life. To live a meaningful life as a mom blogger, a citizen advocate.

To be touched by my angel.

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