Category Archives: Blogging

 Hopeline hotlines 02-804-HOPE (4673); 0917-558-HOPE (4673); or 2919 (toll-free number for Globe and TM subscribers). 

Did you know every 40 seconds, someone dies of suicide? The World Health Organization (WHO) states that close to 800 000 people died by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. We cannot avoid reading about suicide in our social media news feeds or private group chats. Let me point out the phrases “died of suicide” or “died by suicide” as neutral ways to explain the death. These phrases replace “committed suicide” or “completed suicide.” 

Social media use and depression

 Growing evidence showed that social media can influence pro-suicide behavior. The 2012 study on “Social Media and Suicide: A Public Health Perspective” (David D. Luxton, PhD, Jennifer D. June, BA, and Jonathan M. Fairall, BS) cited the role social media, might have in suicide-related behavior. The rise of pro-suicide, social media sites may pose a new risk to vulnerable people who might not have been exposed to these potential hazards. Media also plays an influence on suicidal behavior, and suicide methods used. Cyberbullying and cyber harassment are prevalent problems. An increase in publicized cases of suicide in 2011 involved social media. 

Another paper came out on “Increases in Depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and Suicide Rates Among U.S. Adolescents After 2010 and Links to Increased New Media Screen Time” (Jean M. Twenge, Thomas E. Joiner, Megan L. Rogers, Gabrielle N. Martin) in 2017. The study discovered that adolescents who devoted more time online such as social media were more likely to report mental health issues. Psychiatrist Dr Dinah Nadera says “that sense of lack of social connectedness is very, very prevalent…. They’re connected but they can’t seem to have a trusted person”.  Without experimental evidence, one is unclear that the rise in new media screen time causes the increase in mental health issues after 2011. Three earlier studies, however, provided evidence that “screen time in social media use, may cause depressed mood rather than vice versa, at least among adults.”  The research concludes that adolescent mental health issues rose since 2010, among females. New media screen time is both associated with mental health issues and increased over this time period.

The relationship between social media use and depression remains a controversial topic. A study in 2018 by San Francisco-based social innovation group called HopeLab did not find a correlation between use and self-reported depressive symptoms. Despite the lack of conclusive studies, I cannot stress enough that our digital well-being matters. It is best to disconnect when called for and create healthy habits for ourselves.

 WHO says suicides are preventable

There is hope. WHO believes suicide is preventable with timely, evidence-based and often low-cost interventions. We need a comprehensive multisectoral suicide prevention strategy for national responses to be effective. This is where Mental Health Law (RA No. 11036) comes in. The law provides affordable and accessible mental health services to Filipinos if implemented well.

Social networking sites for suicide prevention can facilitate social connections among peers with similar experiences. Know of legitimate sites to increase awareness of prevention programs, crisis help lines, and other support and educational resources. A Facebook page called “Anxiety and Depression Support Philippines” (ADSP) is a mental health support group run by volunteers. The page has closed Facebook group where people can vent their feelings, meet new people, ask questions without judgments. 

Natasha Goulbourn Foundation (http://www.ngf-hope.org) started Hopeline, a depression and suicide prevention hotline to help those suffering from depression. The numbers to call are ?02-804-4673 and ?0917-558-4673. Globe and TM subscribers may call the toll-free number 2919. 

10 years ago, I added a Suicide Prevention page (https://aboutmyrecovery.com/suicide-prevention/) in my blog to save a life. What if each one of us do their share in saving a life by educating ourselves and our community? Let us take advantage of current suicide news to educate people and/or ourselves about suicide and mental health instead of spreading hate and fueling stigma. Use social media for good.

 Suicide prevention is everybody’s business

ADSP warns about sharing any photos and videos that describes the suicide and self-harm related content. Why? It could trigger other mental health warriors. It could encourage copycat self-harming or suicide. None of us can fathom their pain so let’s stop judging people who suffer from depression. Stigma, surrounding mental disorders and suicide, means many people thinking of taking their own life or who have attempted suicide are not seeking help and not getting the help they need. By raising awareness and educating the public, we can SAVE lives. A person talking about how they feel reduces their distress; they also see other options and are much less likely to attempt to suicide. Talking the situation over with a caring person helps whether you’re in a crisis yourself, or worried about someone else who is.  You don’t have to wait until the deepest point of crisis or until you have a life-threatening problem before you seek help.  

 Hopeline hotlines 02-804-HOPE (4673); 0917-558-HOPE (4673); or 2919 (toll-free number for Globe and TM subscribers). The Department of Health manages the Hopeline. Support is out there. 

First published at Sunday Times and IT on January 19, 2019

My sister Myrna  moved to the US in 1984, and I missed her so much that I often wrote long letters. I took a look at some of my letters and was surprised to read about how I also talked about the political situation in our country in 1984.

Allow me to share some snippets of a letter I wrote on September 1984 (Italics are current comments)

September 8, 1984 (about inflation and gas scarcity)

Dear Myrna,

I have managed to save 3,000 pesos but this is only worth 1,500 early last year. Well, it’s better to save than have no money at all. (Inflation Rate in Philippines averaged 8.41 percent from 1958 until 2018, reaching an all time high of 62.80 percent in September of 1984 )… It’s no joke buying food nowadays. 

There’s another bad news…gasoline supply until Thursday unless the government will give gas dealers a share of the tax included in the price of the gasoline…oh well, the government really worsens the situation by requiring additional taxes. There’s going to be an increase in taxes again— the vehicle registration tax (up by 200% to 600% depending on the type of vehicle) and road’s user tax. What road are they talking about? How I wish I were a policy-maker or a big shot in government so I can contribute to the alleviation of this crisis…if only…that’s why I love Butch because he is also as concerned with me regarding the plight of the country. I dream that someday (when we get married ) he’ll be a top government official (assuming the system of government is changed) and we’d be actively participating in development programs if ever!!!!? I feel so helpless when I recommend policies for projects and yet implementation has yet to be realized. I’m optimistic that things will be for the better not in the short term but in the long run…it will take more than 10 years to be fully recovered.

Today’s Saturday and as usual Butch didn’t come. Well, maybe he couldn’t get gas. I wonder what would happen if gas ran out..there’d be no more economic activity and more havoc…ah shit the government.

September 10, 1984 (Typhoon Nitang)

I continue to hear/read so many unfortunate incidents regarding Typhoon Nitang, such as

1. a pregnant woman was found dead but lying on a tree (In Negros Occidental)
2. A farm tractor (this is heavy) was found 5 kilometers away
3. A betamax machine in Surigao was found 3 kilometers away. Of course, out of order
4. Hospital with no roof in Surigao

There was so many unbelievable stories. The wind must have been so powerful almost like a tornado (remember Wizard of Oz). The government now has a good excuse for diverting present political/economic problems. As Marcos said “Let us think of our country first and ourselves, last”. Look who is talking. Everyday, donations come in.

In our house in Cebu, our garage roof and the roof of the  house for the workers were also blown away.

September 25 – on the September 21 rally

What is new here? I learned the bakeshop wasn’t operational for 9 days since they didn’t have water and electricity for days.

Well, heard about the September 21 rally? They threw water at the rallyists. The water came from the canal..yuk!.

Other disasters…Mayon Volcano eruptions and another earthquake in Ilocos.

September 28 on UP Barricade

Today and yesterday, UP was barricaded by students all over the entrances. I had to sleep over at Butch apartment for two nights because I had lots of work to do.

The present situation is really tense . I feel the tension around. Last night, while I was at Butch apartment, I listened over the radio about a violent rally at “Welcome Rotonda”. I knew Butch was there and it really made me nervous hearing all the casualties..some students were shot!. The son of Dean Nemenzo was even shot. Fortunately Butch arrived. What a relief. It has been violent since Sept 21.

---

As for Butch, he’s planning to go to Cebu this sem break. He’s planning to make pamanhikan this sem break. Hopefully. I feel so restless already. I want to settle down . I feel the need. But I also feel scared. What with another devaluation next month. If ever we get married, I’ll make it very very simple so that expenses are minimal.

-end of snippets-

All of these were sent in one email. There was so much happening in one month: the inflation, the scarcity of gas, the devastation of Typhoon Nitang, September 21 rally, the devaluation of the dollar, increase of road taxes. It was like writing a diary and sent in one mail.  I am looking forward to the other things I wrote during the Marcos regime. To be continued,

Update: I wrote this post on April 11, 2008 because there were  mean comments supposedly written by my husband, my daughter or myself. Yes, someone assumed the name of my husband, or my daughter. The mean spirited bloggers and commenters have been around since the internet started. I want to share what it was like in 2008 when facebook was not yet that big as it is today . There are now 50 million facebook users in the Philippines.

I just read nasty comments attacking a friend of mine. That blog is not a healthy place. Once you go against the negative mentality of the community, you are attacked. Unhealthy people gravitate towards negative energy. That same negative energy attracts more negative energy at such exponential rate, than positive attracts positive. Where there is negative energy in abundance, a gang is created. Once formed, they support each other to target anyone who are not within their frame of mind.

Group meanness is even more fun because of the team spirit.

Do you think these mean-spirited last long in the blogosphere? (By definition, mean-spirited means Having or characterized by a malicious or petty spirit.) Unless they have nothing better to do, have lots of energy and motivation behind them, the mean spirits tend to fizzle out one day. Most mean-spirited folks get the thrill of hurting people by posting nasty comments and the occasional mean blog post. I’ve had my share of being called “demonic” names. I tried to settle amicably with this person but instead my email was posted on their blog leaving out a teensy significant detail why my daughter got mixed up in her tirades towards me. I thought by now it’s been settled but six months has elapsed and what do I discover? My monicker is being used in blog comments trying to make it appear that I posted “nasty” comments. How malicious and petty! Move on, shall we?

Let’s not bother why these people act the way they do. I just know that Hurt people hurt people.

So how do you respond to the mean-spirited blogger or commenter? Lorelle lists down tips on how to deal with these mean spirits in her entry, Mean Spirited Comments and Blogging

There are two choices when faced with a mean-spirited blogger: Respond or Not Respond. Both have risks.

Whichever choice you decide, do not move on your first impulse.

There’s something else you need to consider before you make a decision. Many hateful bloggers want your reaction. If they get a strong enough reaction, you might blog about them. Some trolls use inflammatory comments to attract attention to themselves and their blog. I think of this as the ““Howard Stern Effect”. The more outrageous people are, the more curious people are about them. If you feel their actions are just a device to get your attention and the attention of others, for good or bad reasons, put that into the formula before you decide which way you want to respond.

To my dear friend. There is no place to hide from nasty people in the blogosphere. Bloggers address varied opinions and wisdom to the world but negative responses are bound to happen from such entries. I told you that bloggers agree to disagree in a healthy manner. These come in the form of criticisms, but others come out mean-spirited, malicious and petty. I know you are discouraged now to blog. It’s quite disheartening to think about the dark side of blogging, but if you intend to be a serious blogger, you need a thick skin to last a lifetime of blogging.

See my thick skin?

As Lorelle said “Don’t let them beat you down. Stay focused and clear headed. If you purposely inspire negative reactions, then run with it. Enjoy getting what you asked for. If you don’t and get smacked, think it through, respond with care, and keep on blogging.”

Remember there are more people who care about you than that mean spirited community. You don’t want to be mixing with them.

Have you been the target of mean-spirited bloggers? What did you do about it?

 

This is the best piece of advice I could ever give to those who want to travel the world, or much closer to our hearts, the ASEAN: Getting lost is not a bad thing at all.

Lost in ASEAN
By Chet Lloyd G. Montoro

For those who enjoy travelling and going to new places, it may be a common thing to not know exactly where you’re going. Sometimes, you come to a point where the internet fails you and your handy maps don’t exactly help. Getting lost in your own country or city is fairly easy, but getting lost in a different country is a new matter altogether. It, then, leads us to a question – what happens next?

In my experience, there has always been a thin line between excitement and panic. Getting lost forces us to engage ourselves in conversations – mind you – these are not small-talk. Instead, we try to look as nice as we can, so as to allow strangers to feel delighted all the while helping us out. Also, this prevents others from thinking that we’re about to do something nasty!

That small moment where we realize we have to step-up our game and to converse gets me excited. When I got lost in Melaka, Malaysia, I realized that my English won’t be of any help. I arrived there at night and everyone in the bus was worried because I didn’t have a place to stay. My lucky stars sent me two German angels, though, who offered to bring me to their hostel: I know what you’re thinking, and it wasn’t like that! They only offered to bring me to the concierge of the said hostel and to ask if there were still any vacancies. Going through the Chinese New Year in Chinatown in Melaka pushed me to use non-verbal cues and my own version of sign language to simply get my message across. Fortunately, I learned that a nice smile breaks barriers and allows for a much relaxed atmosphere. It is this very tool I used to ease the hassle and pain of explaining myself to locals.

This is not always the case, though. Sometimes, locals know how to speak English well and I found out that even when they speak English, it doesn’t guarantee you won’t get lost. Learning from this previous experience, I further pushed my luck to its limits when I got lost in Genting Highlands. Little did I know, I needed to pre-book my bus ride home. Try to picture a small guy – that’s me – seated on the nearest seat beside the bus ticket counter and finding out that the next bus will leave in four days. This is the panic I was telling you about a while ago. When faced with such a situation, we don’t scream. Instead, we let internal panic to take over.

As I am the type who wouldn’t really cry in front of a crowd, I sat silently beside the ticket counter and focused on the big fail I had just witnessed. After almost an hour, my lucky stars have granted me further luck when two Indians approached me and asked if I wanted to split a cab. These two guys spoke English well enough to get me teary eyed with their offer. In my head, I was already plotting to talk to the Pork Floss vendor near me so I could get back to the city center. Thankfully, I never really had to do that. At the end of our ride back, I gained two new friends and a concise walkthrough of Indian culture. You see, it’s not about who you are or where you’re from or what you do; but it’s entirely about your capacity to adjust and to communicate.

Most of us would resort to asking questions when we get lost. However, I do not belong to this category. During a recent trip to Singapore, I made it to a point that I had with me three physical maps, my Google maps, and instructions I got from blogs. You might think I didn’t get lost, but I did! I thought that since a number of Singaporeans speak English, I’d find it easy to get to my destination. Alas, accents get in the way. The first cab ride my family and I took was with an Uncle who spoke fluent English with a fluent accent. It took us ten minutes to get to the place where he dropped us off, but it wasn’t exactly where we needed to go to. To cut the story short, we walked and followed the maps as we were afraid that the next cab experience would be the same. My brother and I were laughing it off, but my parents were already frustrated. This is why stopping for a while and really pondering on the next steps really matters.

Now, this is a common thing I noticed in all of my travels across the ASEAN – locals are willing to help. While spreading my big map in front of my face, a handful of Singaporeans approached me and offered a hand. I respectfully refused them thrice, but they never really left. Naturally, as a Pinoy traveller with delikadesa and with parents who are tired of walking endlessly, I finally agreed to receive help. This is the part where I share with you the concept of humility and acceptance – being humble enough to shut our ego and acceptance that we cannot refer to blogs as the Word; they are only but a guide. Moreover, we bring out our mobile devices too much and try our best to source our best friend, Google, for the right answers that we sometimes forget that the best answers come from the locals themselves. In fact, the most genuine of experiences root from the very information a local could give.

This is the best piece of advice I could ever give to those who want to travel the world, or much closer to our hearts, the ASEAN: Getting lost is not a bad thing at all. This allows us to stick to the basics and infuse panic with a hint of excitement. We should muster up the courage to talk to locals – hoping that at the end of the day, we may have a stranger turned into a friend. In the midst of buildings or sceneries foreign to our minds, we may find ourselves physically lost but we will arrive at that point where we find places and locals unknowingly growing on us.

 

(Submitted for the #MyAseanStory blog writing project )

The year of the Fire Rooster begins January 28, 2017. It happens once every 60 years. The last time was in 1957.

Trustworthy, with a strong sense of timekeeping and responsibility at work 

I was born on the Year of the Fire Rooster. I have always known that I was born on the Year of the Rooster and it is one reason, I collect a few rooster knick knacks . What I didn’t expect was that 2017 is the Year of the Fire Rooster. I don’t normally believe in Zodiac signs but hey, I don’t get to celebrate the Fire Rooster every decade. It takes 60 years and the next time it will occur, I will be 120 years old.

Let me list down the Fire Rooster characteristics that I think are so ME and those that are NOT me . This site says

Under the passionate influence of the Fire Element, the Fire Rooster becomes the most dramatic and energized of all the Rooster signs. The Fire Rooster lives life in enthusiastic, dynamic bursts, which explains why they are so comfortable taking risks. At times, the strong will of the Fire Rooster can make them seem dominating, but this is only a result of their genuine interest in doing the best for themselves and others. Nevertheless, the Fire Rooster can make a very successful leader in the right situation.

So far so good. I think I am a leader in some ways and other times, I just want to be a follower.

The Fire Rooster Personality 

Let me refer you to this gotohoroscope website.

Roosters are quick witted and have a great sense of humor, although it can be rather sharp and brutal at times.

I sometimes think I am funny but yes, I can be brutal and sharp especially when I was a mother to my young children.  The Fire Rooster personality further adds that “Friends of Rooster people have to get used to the fact that they do not hold back on anything, and that their brand of honesty can be unsettling. ” Yes, I tend to be tactless but I have learned to be more gentle. with my words.

I can afford to be offensive on social media when I deliver commentary on corrupt people or criticize the government. I know  such commentaries are offensive but the truth has to be told. They say “Roosters expect everyone to have the same blunt nature and become quite frustrated if you waste their time by talking around a subject (in order to avoid hurt feelings) when it would be faster to just say thing straight out. ” Yes, I hate beating around in circles. Go straight to the point please.

Most Roosters are meticulous people who never miss an appointment. Not only that, but they are never late!

Yes, this is so true . I hate being late so I tend to arrive early for an appointment. I also don’t  like it if people are habitually late. I agree that “To a Rooster, the deadliest insult is when you do not keep an appointment, so write down meetings with Roosters in red ink! ”

This part is not true for me about Roosters having  tremendous amount of mental and physical energy, and that they never sit still. I can sit still for hours when it comes to writing or engaging in social media.  The part on “Nor do they ever stop multi-tasking” is true though but I learned to take breaks by walking 10,000 steps a day.

While most Roosters prefer to work alone (believing no one can match their level of perfection or diligence) Fire Rooster make great team leaders.

This is so true. I  learned to be a team leader in my early twenties when I had to deal with projects. I don’t really know what my team members think of me because for me, a team’s

success lies in bringing the deliverables.  The Fire Rooster personality adds that “they inspire others through their organization and work ethic, and use their sharp eye to discover what will most bring people together”.  I hope I did or I hope I continue to do so.

Of all the Roosters, the Fire Rooster is the most concerned about his appearance.

I admit I am vain but I think I got that from my mother. I tend to look at the mirror all the time to check on my hair, makeup and clothes.  They say the Fire Roosters will spend as much time as necessary to look their absolute best at all times. I only do so when I go out but at home, I just wear my house clothes and not bother with how I look.  My husband thinks I am too vain. I tell him, I like to look good in photos.  Perhaps this personality is true : “Friends and coworkers often feel that the Fire Rooster is too vain. He or she is preoccupied with clothing, accessories, and the perfect hair style. ”

Roosters always seem to have a notebook or scraps of paper with them, they are constantly writing notes and reminders.

Based on this fengshuiweb.co.uk , I found this characteristic so true but I use digital paper or One Note to take down notes or do checklists.

The Chinese sign of the Fire Rooster is also a bit bossy.

I definitely think I am bossy. Even my husband says so. The Fire Rooster Personality has an explanation : “Since Fire Roosters are very smart and talented, they assume that their way is always the best way, and that everyone else should follow their way exactly. Of course, Fire Roosters have the usual Rooster honesty, which means they have no problem telling people exactly what they are doing wrong and why they should be doing it the Fire Rooster way. If they are not careful, this can lose them friends. “

I often wonder what my high school classmates think. Most of us were born in 1957. Come to think of it, we all tend to be bossy during our reunions. In this situation, I just wither in the background so things can move smoothly.

I am certainly look forward to 2017.  I didn’t know it would be my year until I saw the Chinese Rooster images in the markets here in Singapore. Most of all, I didn’t know I am a Fire Rooster. There is much to be hopeful for, and the crowing of the rooster will soon be heard as the Chinese Lunar New Year’s Day takes place on January 28, 2017.

Cheers to health , love, prosperity this 2017.

When I think of family, I remember my dad. I think of the family values he passed on to me which have been treasured and passed on for many generations already. One such value is Pagpapahalaga sa Pamilya, putting importance on family. I remember how he took on two jobs just to provide for us. I recall how he volunteered his services for elections’ quick count, for the church, charity and other civic organizations. I wished dad involved the whole family for his advocacy. Usually, I just tag along and watch him organize his activities. The thought entered my mind when I saw the winners of the 6th Jollibee Family Values Awards (JFVA) . Jollibee recognized families who can be considered as everyday heroes, families who truly exemplify how the power of Filipino family values can nurture and continue building a nation that can sail through the various challenges, calamities and adversities.

Exemplary Filipino honored at the 6th JFVA winning families include: Mr. Rommel and Mrs. Analy Basa and family of Capiz, champions of the environment and sustainable livelihood for their community; Mr. Donato and Mrs. Merlita Bumacas and family of Nueva Ecija, dedicated to protecting and upholding the rights of indigenous people; Mr. Ian and Mrs. Cecilia Cabalza and family of Cagayan Valley, whose work centers on uplifting lives through health and education; Mr. Victor and Mrs. Elizabeth Castañeda and family of Quezon City, for leading the fight against cancer; Mr. Joe Dean and Mrs. Ardis Sola and family of Quezon City, for helping improve the lives of street children; and Mr. Marciano and Mrs. Josephine Par and family of Saudi Arabia, named as the Jollibee-Coca-Cola OFW Family of the Year for their mission in empowering underprivileged fellowmen both in the Philippines and the Middle East.

I was amazed at all the work they did in their respective community. My favorite family is the Sola family who have dedicated their lives to helping street children by providing their basic needs such as food and education. Their foundation, He Cares Mission Street Children Caring Center, was founded in 1997 and has already produced 19 college graduates, one of whom is already a successful architect working in Abu Dhabi. What initially began as an intervention for street children through values formation has transformed into an organization that develops children using a holistic approach. Their program has several components including: Balik Aral, Balik Kalusugan, Balik Loob sa Diyos, Balik Bahay, and Balik Hanapbuhay. Each family member has grown to love and accept their roles in the advocacy that their parents have instilled in them.

This is truly astounding. I wish this can be replicated by educational institutions.

The 6^th Gabi ng Parangal para sa Pamilyang Pilipino centered on the theme of the balangay, whose historical journey captures the solidarity, harmony, determination, courage, bravery and resilience of the Filipino community. It is admirable that there is recognition for such family-led advocacies. Such work may inspire other families to take up their own advocacy that will not only make lives better for others but also strengthen the core of the family.

Let us nurture the practice of family values, by embracing policies that value families. – Benjamin Todd Jealous